#the ocean is just lousy with stuff u know
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What does distilled sea water taste like
aww man you had to ask the most difficult question huh
i feel like, maybe it's not the same for everyone
and maybe it's different if you are not on a boat, or on a boat that is not the boat i was on, but like
to me it
okay to start, the thing with the water, right, is that all our fresh water came from the ocean. like it was not hauled on board, there was no fresh water to start, it is all pulled up and boiled and then that water vapor is put into the tank and used for showers, sinks, toilets, and, obviously, drinking and cooking etc
right so it's just plain H2O, no electrolytes, no fluoride, no whatever the fuck right it's just. water molecules lol
but it's water that came from the ocean right so like
it tastes like water, at first (if u have ever ingested clean river water i would say even that might give u an idea), but there is an aftertaste that's like
the way that standing on a beach in the northern pacific smells. cannot be clearer than that, i'm afraid.
there's like, eau de seaweed but no but yes but no
drinking water when i got back was very strange and i am now hyper aware of how all water tastes (and i was already a picky water drinker so this is a problem lol) and sometimes i miss it. it's weird.
#i'm sure that if i had been in the atlantic it would have been different but#i'm very familiar with a specific smell like u know when ur on a beach and there is seaweed or dense algae content in the water#gives u a lil bit of that#and like there's so much shit in the ocean i did not even post all the plankton we caught bc it would have taken a hundred years but#the ocean is just lousy with stuff u know#god my kingdom for a giant diatom colony right now i miss them#that's unrelated just a passing thought#anyway i hope this helps lol#also thinking about it because if i was dirk i would probably have an aversion to water if this was all i knew#and not because it's terrible because i guzzled the stuff don't get me wrong but#because he had other things to drink right so why the fuck would u not drink the other things when the alternative is literally#waves hand#and who knows what was running through those pipes man#anyway just some thoughts i suppose#sorry i'm still rambling sorry
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Original by u/Hey-im-right-here via /r/emojipasta
Original by u/Hey-im-right-here
Free ππ Churro Monologue
So I stopped at a Jack in the Box π±π±π± on ππ the way βοΈ here ππ, and the girl πΆπΆπΆ behind the counter said, βHiya! Are you having an awesome π day?β Not, βHow are you doing today?β No π£. βAre you having an awesome π day?β Which is πΆ pretty... shitty, because it puts the onus on ππ me to disagree with her, like ππ if Iβm not having an βawesome day,β suddenly Iβm the negative one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£. Usually when β° people π«π« ask how π€ Iβm doing, the real answer β
is πΆ, Iβm doing shitty, but I canβt say π£π£π£ Iβm doing shitty because I donβt even have πΆπΆ a good πππΎ reason to be doing shitty. So if I say π£π£π£, βIβm doing shitty,β then they say π£, βWhy? Whatβs wrong?β And I have πΆπΆπΆ to be like ππ, βI donβt know π€, all of it?β So instead, when β° people π«π« ask how π€ Iβm doing, I usually say π£π£, βI am doing so great π¬π§π¬π§.β But when β° this β¬ girl πΆπΆ at the Jack in the Box π±π± asked me if I was having an awesome π day, I thought, βWell, today Iβm actually allowed to feel shitty.β Today I have πΆ a good πππΎ reason, so I said to her, βWell, My MΓΆm died,β and she immediately burst into tears πππ. So now I have πΆ to comfort her, which is πΆ annoying, and meanwhile, thereβs a line γ°οΈγ°οΈγ°οΈ of people π«π« forming behind me who π are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box π±π± girl πΆπΆ cry ππ. And sheβs bawling, and saying, βIβm sorry π, Iβm so sorry ππ,β and Iβm like π, βItβs fine, itβs fineβ I mean π, itβs not fine but, you know π€, itβs... fine. And I would like ππ to order π a Double Jack Meal π½, and Iβve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less ββ with the crying π and more β with the frying, huh π? [inhales] And the girl πΆ apologizes again and she offers me a free π churro with my meal π½π½. As Iβm leaving, I think π€π€, βI just got a free ππ churro because my mom πͺ died.β No π£π£π£ one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ ever tells you that when β° your π mom πͺπͺ dies, you get πππ a free ππ churro. [Clears Throat] Anyway, Iβm sorry ππ, thatβs not part of the... [Clears throat] All right π. Okay π, here ππ we go. Letβs do this β¬. Here ππ I am BoJack Horseman doing an eulogy, letβs go. Beatrice Horseman, who π was she? What π
was her deal? Well, she was a horse π΄, Uh, she was born π£π£π£ in 1938. She died in 2018. One 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ time β, she went to a parade, and one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ time β, she smoked a cigarette π¬ in one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ long inhale. I watched her do it. Truly remarkable woman π§. Lived a full π΅π΅ life π, that lady π©. Just, all the way βοΈ to the end πππ, which is πΆ, uh, now, I guess. Really makes you think π€π€ though, huh π? Life π, right ππ? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die β°β°. Okay π. Well, thatβs my time ββ, youβve been great π¬π§π¬π§π¬π§! Tip your π waitress! No π£π£π£, Iβm just kidding around, thereβs no π£π£ waitress. But seriously, thatβs all I have πΆπΆ to say π£ about my mother πͺπͺπͺ. No π£π£π£ point π― beating a dead π horse π΄π΄, right π? So... now what π
? I donβt know π€, Mom πͺπͺ, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom πͺ? No π£π£? Nothing π to contribute? Knock once if youβre proud π€π€ of me. Can I just say π£ how π€ amazing it is πΆ to be in a room with my mother πͺπͺπͺ, and I can just talk π£π£ and talk π£π£ without her telling π£ me to shut up βββ and make her a drink πΉ? Hey π, Mom πͺπͺ. Knock once if you think π€ I should shut up βββ. No π£π£π£? You sure? I mean ππ, I donβt want π to embarrass you, by making this β¬ eulogy into a me-olgy, so, seriously if you want π me to sit πΊπΊπΊ down β¬β¬ and let someone else talk π£, just knock once. I will not be offended. No π£π£π£? Your π funeral β°β°. Sorry ππ about the closed casket β°, by the way βοΈβοΈ. She wanted β an open πππ casket β°β°,but, you know π€, sheβs dead π now, so who π cares about what π
she wanted β . No π£π£π£, that sounds bad π. Iβm sorry π. I think π€ that if she couldβve seen what π
she looked like ππ dead π, sheβd agree πππ itβs better this β¬ way βοΈβοΈβοΈ. She kinda looked like ππ a pissed off dinosaur π¦. The coroner couldnβt get πππ her eyes π€© closed. So, now her face πππ is πΆ frozen ββ in a mass of tremendous horror and anguish. Or as my mother πͺ called it, Tuesday! Tuesday! My mom πͺπͺ called it Tuesday. Hey π, Mom πͺ, what π
did you think π€ of that joke? You like ππ that? You never β did care for my comedy. Hereβs a story. When β° I was a teenager π¦π¦, I preformed a comedy routine for my high ππ school π talent show πΊπΊπΊ. There was this β¬ cool ππ jacket π§₯ that I wanted β to wear because I thought it would make me look π like πππ Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up β for this β¬ jacket π§₯, but when β° I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home πͺπͺ and told my mother πͺπͺπͺ. She said, βLet that be a lesson. Thatβs the good πππΎ that comes from wanting π things.β She was really good πππΎ at dispensing life π lessons that always π seemed to circle πππ back β¬
οΈ to everything being my fault. But then, on ππ the day of the talent show πΊ, my mother πͺπͺ had a surprise π€¨π€¨ for me. She bought me the jacket π§₯. Even though she didnβt know π€ how π€ to say π£π£ it, I knew π€ this β¬ meant she loved me. Now, thatβs a good πππΎ story about my mother πͺπͺπͺ. Itβs not true, but itβs a good πππΎ story, right πππ? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when β° I was a kid π¦, where π€· she would talk π£π£ about her father π¨π¨π¨. I remember when β° I saw it, thinking π€ thatβs the kind of story I want π to tell π£ about my parents πͺ when β° they die β°β°. But I donβt have πΆ any stories like π that. All I know π€ about being good πππΎ I learned from TV πΊπΊ. And In TV πΊπΊ, flawed characters π£π£ are constantly showing people π« they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think π€π€ that part of me still believes thatβs what π
love ππ is πΆ. But in real life π, the big gesture π€²π€² isnβt enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependently good πππΎ. You canβt just screw everything up βββ and then take a boat β΄ out ππ in the ocean π¦π¦π¦ to save πΎπΎπΎ your π best π friend πΆπΆπΆ, or solve a mystery, and fly π¦π¦π¦ to Kansas. You need to do it everyday, which is πΆ so... hard. When β° youβre a kid π¦, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture π€²π€²π€² could be enough. That even though your π parents πͺπͺ arenβt what π
you need them to be, over and over, and over again, at any moment, they might surprise π€¨π€¨ you, with something... Wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof, that even though my mother πͺπͺπͺ was a hard woman π§π§π§, deep down β¬β¬, she loved me and cared about me and wanted β me to know π€ that i made her life π a little bit brighter. Even now, I find πππ myself waiting. Hey π Mom πͺ, knock once if you love π me and care about me, and want π me to know π€ I made your π life π a little bit brighter. My mother πͺπͺ did not go gentle into that good πππΎ night π΄π΄. She went clawing and fighting π₯π₯π₯ and thrashing, hence the face πππ. If youβd seen her, I swear to god the only thing youβd be thinking π€π€ about right πππ now is πΆ that I am nailing this β¬ impression. I was in the hospital πππ with her through those last moments, and they were truly horrific, full π΅π΅ of nonsensical screams and cries, but there was this β¬ moment, this β¬ one 1οΈβ£ instant of strange calm, where π€· she looked into my direction βββ and said, βI see π you.β That was the last thing she said to me. βI see π you.β Not a statement of judgement or disappointment, just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person π€π€π€ in a room. βHello, there. You are a person π€π€. And I see πππ you.β Let me tell π£ you, itβs a weird π thing to feel at 54 years old π΄π΄π΄, that for the first π₯π₯ time β in your π life π your π mother πͺπͺπͺ sees you. Itβs an odd realization that itβs the thing youβve been missing, the only thing that you wanted β all along, to be seen. And it doesnβt feel like π relief π
, to finally be seen. It feels mean π, like π, βOh, it turns out ππ that you knew π€ what π
I wanted β , and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.β I was prepared for more βββ cruelty. I was sure that she would get ππ in one 1οΈβ£ final zinger, about how π€ I let her down β¬β¬, and about how π€ I was fat and stupid, and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper. How π€ I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment. All that I was ready for. I was not ready for βI see πππ you.β Only my mother πͺπͺπͺ would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection πΆπΆπΆ on ππ her way βοΈβοΈ out ππ. But maybe Iβm giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasnβt about connection πΆπΆ. Maybe it was a.. Maybe it was a βI see π you,β like πππ, βI see π you.β Like π, βYou May have πΆπΆ the rest πͺπͺπͺ of the world ππ fooled, but I know π€ exactly who π you are.β Thatβs more ββ my moms speed π
. Or maybe she just literally meant βI see ππ you. You are an object that has entered my field of vision.β She was pretty out ππ of it at the end ππ, so maybe itβs dumb to try to attribute it to anything. Back β¬
οΈ in the 90βs I was in a very famous TV πΊ show πΊ called βHorsinβ Around. Please πππ hold your π applause πππ. And I remember one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ time ββ, a fan asked me, βHey, um, you know π€ that episode where π€· the horse π΄π΄ had to give Ethan a pep talk π£, after Ethan finds out ππ his crush ππ only asked him to the dance π because her friends were only having a dorkiest date π« contest πππ? In all the shots of the horse π΄π΄π΄, you can see π a paper π¨π¨π¨ coffee β cup on π the kitchen π―π― counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee ββ cupβs missing. Was that because the show πΊ was making a statement, about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how π€ even two βββ people π«π« can experience π― the same moment in entirely different ways?β And I didnβt have πΆ the heart ππ to be like ππ, βNo, man π¦π¦π¦, some crew guy π¦π¦π¦ just left πππ their coffee β cup in the shot π₯π₯.β So, instead, I was like ππ... βYeah.β And maybe this β¬ is πΆ like ππ the coffee ββ cup. Maybe, weβre dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe, when β° someone says, βI see π you,β it just means, βI see πππ you.β Then again, itβs possible she wasnβt even taking to me. Because, if Iβm honest, she wasnβt even talking to me, she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room. So I think π€π€ she was talking to me, but, honestly, she was so far gone at that point π―π―, who π knows π€ what π
she was seeing. Who π were you talking to, Mom πͺπͺ? Not saying, huh ππ? Staying mum? No π£ rimshot there? God, whatever Iβm paying you, itβs too much. Maybe, she saw my dad π¨. My dad π¨ died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel. When β° your π father π¨π¨π¨ dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like πππ, βWait, did you say π£π£π£ he died in a duel?β and βWho dies in a duel?β The whole thing was so stupid. Dad π¨ spent π΅π΅π΅ his entire life π writing π this β¬ book π, but he couldnβt get ππ any stores to carry it, or any newspapers to review it. Finally, I guess one 1οΈβ£ newspaper π°π°π° thought he was hilarious, because they wrote a review and tore him to shreds. So, my father π¨, ever the Proud π€π€ Mary, decided he would not stand for this β¬ besmirch ment of his honor. He claimed the critic didnβt understand what π
it meant to be a man π¦, so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn πππ. He wrote the paper π¨π¨, this β¬ letter βοΈβοΈ, saying anyone who π didnβt like π his book πππ, he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world π. Heβd even pay πΈ for airfare to San πΈπ² Francisco and a night π΄ in a hotel π¨. Well, eventually this β¬ found itβs way βοΈβοΈ to some kook in Montana, who π was as batshit as he was and took him up β on πππ the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed: ten paces, then shoot π«. But in the middle πππ of the ten paces, Dad π¨ turned to ask the guy π¦ if heβd actually read ππ the book π and what π
he thought, but, not looking where π€· he was going, tripped over an exposed root and basked his head πππ on πππ a rock π§ββοΈ. I wish πππ Iβd known to go to Jack in the Box π± then. I could have πΆ gotten a free π churro. It wouldβve been nice to have πΆπΆ gotten something to show πΊ for being the son of ButterScotch Horseman. My darling mother πͺ gave the eulogy. My entire life π I have πΆ never β heard her say π£π£ a kind word to or about my father π¨, but at his funeral β° she said, βMy husband is πΆ dead πππ, and everything is πΆ worse now.β βMy husband is πΆ dead πππ, and everything is πΆ worse now.β I donβt know π€ why π€ she said that. Maybe she felt thatβs the kind of thing youβre supposed to say π£π£π£ at a funeral β°β°β°. Maybe she hoped one 1οΈβ£ day someone would say π£π£π£ that about her. βMy mother πͺπͺ is πΆ dead π, and everything is πΆ worse now.β Or maybe she knew π€ he had frittered away all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt, which is πΆ a pretty shitty thing to leave your π widow with. βBad news, you lost π³π³ your π husband, but donβt worry, you also lost π³π³ the house π !β Maybe Mom πͺπͺπͺ knew π€ sheβd have πΆ to sell all her fancy π jewelry π and move into a home πͺπͺπͺ. Maybe thatβs what π
she meant by βeverything is πΆ worse now.β Is πΆ that what π
you meant, Mom πͺ? You know π€, the first π₯π₯ time βββ I ever preformed In front of an audience, it actually was, uh, with my Mom πͺπͺπͺ. She used to put on ππ these shows, with her supper club in the living room, and she used to make... she used to make me sing π£π£π£ βThe Lollipop π Songβ Those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic π©π© acts, and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines, and the big finale was always π a dance π my mother πͺ did. She had this β¬ beautiful dress π that she only brought out ππ for these parties, and she did this β¬ incredible number. It was so beautiful and sad πππ. Dad π¨ hated the parties. Heβd lock ββ himself in the study π¬π¬π¬, and bang on πππ the walls for us to keep it down β¬β¬, but he always π came out ππ to see ππ mom πͺπͺπͺ dance π. Heβd linger in the doorway, scotch π₯ in hand ππ, and watch ππ in awe, as this β¬ cynical, despicable woman π§ he married... Took flight π©π©. And as a child πΆ who π was completely terrified π¨π¨ of both of my parents πͺπͺ, I was always π aware of this β¬ moment of grace, it meant something. We understood each other, in a way βοΈ. Me, My Mom πͺπͺ and my Dad π¨, as screwed up βββ as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother πͺ, she knew π€ what π
itβs like πππ to feel your π entire life π like π youβre drowning with the exception of these moments.. these very rare, brief instances, in which you remember..you can swim π π π . But, then again, mostly not. Mostly youβre drowning. She understood that too. And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad π¨. All three 3οΈβ£3οΈβ£3οΈβ£ of us were drowning, and we didnβt know π€ how π€ to save πΎ each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. I would like ππ to think π€π€π€ thatβs what π
she meant when β° we were in the hospital ππ and she said, βI see ππ you.β You know π€ the weird πππ thing about both your π parents πͺπͺ being dead π is πΆ it means youβre next β. I mean π, you know π€, obviously itβs not like π thereβs a wait π list for dying. Any one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ of us could get πππ run π over by some Snap-chatting π¬π¬ Teen at any moment. And you would think π€ knowing π€ that would make us adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, stupid, and petty. I actually had a near death ππ experience π―, recently. A stunt went bad π and I fell off of a building π. Iβm an actor. I do my own stunts. Iβm on π this β¬ new ππ show πΊπΊπΊ Philbert. Im Philbert. Star βββ of the show πΊ. It hasnβt come out ππ yet, but itβs already getting Emmy Buzz. Oh, speaking π’ of buzz... Iβm supposed to take two ββ of these every morning π, but my days are so screwed up ββ βcause of the shooting schedule π
, I donβt even know π€ what π
morning πππ means anymore. Thereβs a joke in there somewhere, about a guy π¦ whoβs been to so many funerals, he doesnβt even know π€ what π
mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure out ππ that one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ for yourself. Anyways, you know π€ what π
I thought.. When β° I was falling off the building π and went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain π§ π§ could come up βββ with before I died? βWonβt they be sorry πππ.β Cool ππ thought, brain π§ . I donβt even know π€ what π
βtheyβ I wanted β to be sorry π. My mom πͺ, before she died, could barely remember who π I was. And of course, my dads dead ππ. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain his book π was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him for all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life π. Maybe it did. I donβt know π€. I never β read ππ it. Because why π€ would I give him that? I used to be on π this β¬ TV πΊ show πΊπΊ called Horsinβ Around. Seriously though, hold your π applause πππ. It was written by my friend πΆ, Herb πΏπΏ Kazzaz, whos also dead ππ now, and it starred this β¬ little girl πΆπΆπΆ named Sarah Lynn. And it was about these orphans. And early ππ on ππ, the network had a note π£, βMaybe donβt mention theyβre orphans so much, because audiences tend to find π orphans sad ππ and not relatable.β But I never β thought the orphans were sad ππ. I always π thought they were lucky π€ because they could imagine their parents πͺ to be anything they wanted β . They had something to long for. Anyway, we did this β¬ one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ season βοΈβοΈβοΈ finale, where π€· Olivias birth mother πͺπͺπͺ comes to town. And she was a junkie, but sheβs gotten herself cleaned up ββ, and she wants to be in Olivias life π again. And of course, sheβs like πππ the perfect π grown-up β version of Olivia, and they go to the mall π¬π¬ together and get ππ her ears pierced like π sheβs always π wanted β and β Sorry π, spoiler alert π¨π¨ for season βοΈ six 6οΈβ£6οΈβ£6οΈβ£ finale of Horsinβ Around, if youβre still working πππ your π way βοΈβοΈβοΈ through it. Anyway, the horse π΄π΄π΄ tried to warn her, βBe careful, moms have πΆ a way βοΈβοΈ of letting you down β¬β¬.β But Olivia just thinks the horse π΄ is πΆ jealous, and when β° the mom πͺ says sheβs moving π¦π¦ to California, Olivia decides to go with her. And the network really juiced the cliffhanger: βIs Olivia gone for good πππΎ?β But of course, because itβs a TV πΊπΊπΊ show πΊπΊ, she was not gone for good πππΎ. Of course, because itβs a TV πΊπΊ show πΊπΊ Olivias Mother πͺ has a relapse and had to go back β¬
οΈβ¬
οΈ into rehab, so Olivia has to hitchhike all the way βοΈβοΈ home πͺ, getting rides from from Mr π²π·. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp. Of course thatβs what π
happened. Because, what π
are you gonna do, just not have πΆ Olivia on π the show πΊ? You canβt have πΆπΆπΆ happy ππ endings on ππ sitcoms, not really, because, if everyoneβs happy π, the show πΊ would be over, and above π all else, the show πΊ... Has to keep going. Thereβs always π more ββ show πΊπΊπΊ. And you can call Horsinβ Around dumb, or bad π, or unrealistic, but thereβs nothing ππ more βββ realistic than that. You never β get π a happy ππ ending, βcause thereβs always π more ββ show πΊ. I guess until there isnβt. My mom πͺπͺ would hate π‘π‘π‘ it if she knew π€ that I spent π΅π΅ so much time β at her funeral β°β° talking about my old π΄π΄π΄ TV πΊ show πΊ. Or maybe sheβd think π€π€π€ it was funny ππ that her idiot π son couldnβt even do this β¬ right π, who π knows π€? She left π no π£π£π£ instructions for what π
she wanted β me to say π£π£. All I know π€ is πΆ she wanted β an open πππ casket β°, and her idiot π son couldnβt even do that right ππ. Iβm not gonna stand up ββ here ππ and pretend I ever understood how π€ to please πππ that woman π§, even though so much of my life π has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out ππ. But I keep going back β¬
οΈβ¬
οΈβ¬
οΈ to that moment in the ICU when β° she looked at me and,...β I-C-U π.β βI..See πππ...You..β Jesus βοΈ Christ βͺβͺ, we were in the Intensive Care Unit. She was just reading a sign βββ. My mom πͺπͺπͺ died and all I got was a free π Churro. You know π€ the shittiest thing about all of this β¬? Is πΆ when β° that stranger behind the counter gave me that free πππ churro, that small act of kindness showed more β compassion than my mother πͺπͺ gave me her entire goddamn life π. Like πππ, how π€ hard is πΆ it to do something nice for a person π€? This β¬ woman π§ at the Jack in the Box π± didnβt even know π€ me. Iβm your π son. All I had was you! I have πΆπΆπΆ this β¬ friend πΆπΆπΆ. And right π around when β° I first π₯ met her, her dad π¨π¨ died, and I actually went with her to the funeral β°. And months later, she told me that she didnβt understand why π€ she was still upset πππ, because she never β even liked her father π¨π¨. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when β° my dad π¨π¨ died. And Iβm going through that same thing now. You know π€ what π
itβs like π? Itβs like πππ the show πΊ Becker, you know π€, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run π of it, hoping that it would get ππ better, and it never β did. It had all the right πππ pieces, but it justβ It couldnβt put them together. And when β° it got canceled, I was really bummed out ππ, not because I liked the show πΊπΊ, but because I knew π€ it could be so much better, and now it never β would be. And thatβs what π
losing π³π³π³ a parent π©βπ¦π©βπ¦π©βπ¦ is πΆ like πππ. Itβs like ππ Becker. Suddenly, you realize youβll never β have πΆπΆ the good πππΎ relationship you wanted β , as long as they were alive, even though youβll never β admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding onto that chance. And you didnβt realize it until that chance went away. βMy mother πͺ is πΆ dead π, and everything is πΆ worse now.β Because now I know π€ I will never β have πΆπΆπΆ a mother πͺ who π looks at me from across the room and says, βBoJack Horseman, I see π you.β But I guess itβs good πππΎ to know π€. Itβs good πππΎ to know π€, that there is πΆ nobody looking out ππ for me, that there never β was, and there never β will be. No π£, itβs good πππΎ to know π€ that I am the only one 1οΈβ£1οΈβ£1οΈβ£ I can depend on π. And I know π€ that now and itβs good πππΎ. Itβs good πππΎ that I know π€ that. So.. itβs good πππΎ my mother πͺπͺ is πΆ dead π. Well, no π£ point π― in beating a dead ππ horse π΄π΄π΄. Beatrice Horseman was born π£ in 1938, and she died in 2018, and I have πΆ no π£π£π£ idea π‘.. What π
she wanted β . Unless she just wanted β what π
we all wanted β .. to be seen.
Submitted March 08, 2020 at 10:22AM by Woman_Eater_ via reddit https://ift.tt/2TzhCFY
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