#the ocean is just lousy with stuff u know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ah17hh · 5 years ago

Text

Original by u/Hey-im-right-here via /r/emojipasta

Original by u/Hey-im-right-here

Free 🆓🆓 Churro Monologue

So I stopped at a Jack in the Box 🍱🍱🍱 on 🔛🔛 the way ↕️ here 👈👈, and the girl ��👶👶 behind the counter said, “Hiya! Are you having an awesome 👍 day?” Not, “How are you doing today?” No 😣. “Are you having an awesome 👍 day?” Which is 🈶 pretty... shitty, because it puts the onus on 🔛🔛 me to disagree with her, like 😄😄 if I’m not having an “awesome day,” suddenly I’m the negative one 1️⃣1️⃣. Usually when ⏰ people 👫👫 ask how 🤔 I’m doing, the real answer ✅ is 🈶, I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say 🗣🗣🗣 I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have 🈶🈶 a good 👌👍🏾 reason to be doing shitty. So if I say 🗣🗣🗣, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say 🗣, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have 🈶🈶🈶 to be like 😄😄, “I don’t know 🤔, all of it?” So instead, when ⏰ people 👫👫 ask how 🤔 I’m doing, I usually say 🗣🗣, “I am doing so great 🇬🇧🇬🇧.” But when ⏰ this ⬆ girl 👶👶 at the Jack in the Box 🍱🍱 asked me if I was having an awesome 👍 day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have 🈶 a good 👌👍🏾 reason, so I said to her, “Well, My Möm died,” and she immediately burst into tears 😂😂😂. So now I have 🈶 to comfort her, which is 🈶 annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line 〰️〰️〰️ of people 👫👫 forming behind me who 💁 are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box 🍱🍱 girl 👶👶 cry 😂😂. And she’s bawling, and saying, “I’m sorry 💔, I’m so sorry 💔💔,” and I’m like 😄, “It’s fine, it’s fine” I mean 😏, it’s not fine but, you know 🤔, it’s... fine. And I would like 😄😄 to order 📑 a Double Jack Meal 🍽, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less ➖➖ with the crying 😂 and more ➕ with the frying, huh 😕? [inhales] And the girl 👶 apologizes again and she offers me a free 🆓 churro with my meal 🍽🍽. As I’m leaving, I think 🤔🤔, “I just got a free 🆓🆓 churro because my mom 👪 died.” No 😣😣😣 one 1️⃣1️⃣ ever tells you that when ⏰ your 👉 mom 👪👪 dies, you get 🉐🉐🉐 a free 🆓🆓 churro. [Clears Throat] Anyway, I’m sorry 💔💔, that’s not part of the... [Clears throat] All right 👉. Okay 👌, here 👈👈 we go. Let’s do this ⬆. Here 👈👈 I am BoJack Horseman doing an eulogy, let’s go. Beatrice Horseman, who 💁 was she? What 😅 was her deal? Well, she was a horse 🐴, Uh, she was born 🐣🐣🐣 in 1938. She died in 2018. One 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚, she went to a parade, and one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚, she smoked a cigarette 🚬 in one 1️⃣1️⃣ long inhale. I watched her do it. Truly remarkable woman 👧. Lived a full 🈵🈵 life 💓, that lady 👩. Just, all the way ↕️ to the end 🔚🔚🔚, which is 🈶, uh, now, I guess. Really makes you think 🤔🤔 though, huh 😕? Life 💓, right 👉👉? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die ⚰⚰. Okay 👌. Well, that’s my time ⌚⌚, you’ve been great 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧! Tip your 👉 waitress! No 😣😣😣, I’m just kidding around, there’s no 😣😣 waitress. But seriously, that’s all I have 🈶🈶 to say 🗣 about my mother 👪👪👪. No 😣😣😣 point 🈯 beating a dead 💀 horse 🐴🐴, right 👉? So... now what 😅? I don’t know 🤔, Mom 👪👪, you got any ideas? Anything? Mom 👪? No 😣😣? Nothing 🈚 to contribute? Knock once if you’re proud 😤😤 of me. Can I just say 🗣 how 🤔 amazing it is 🈶 to be in a room with my mother 👪👪👪, and I can just talk 🗣🗣 and talk 🗣🗣 without her telling 🗣 me to shut up ☝☝☝ and make her a drink 🍹? Hey 👋, Mom 👪👪. Knock once if you think 🤔 I should shut up ☝☝☝. No 😣😣😣? You sure? I mean 😏😏, I don’t want 😋 to embarrass you, by making this ⬆ eulogy into a me-olgy, so, seriously if you want 😋 me to sit 💺💺💺 down ⬇⬇ and let someone else talk 🗣, just knock once. I will not be offended. No 😣😣😣? Your 👉 funeral ⚰⚰. Sorry 💔💔 about the closed casket ⚰, by the way ↕️↕️. She wanted ⚠ an open 👐👐👐 casket ⚰⚰,but, you know 🤔, she’s dead 💀 now, so who 💁 cares about what 😅 she wanted ⚠. No 😣😣😣, that sounds bad 📉. I’m sorry 💔. I think 🤔 that if she could’ve seen what 😅 she looked like 😄😄 dead 💀, she’d agree 👍👍👍 it’s better this ⬆ way ↕️↕️↕️. She kinda looked like 😄😄 a pissed off dinosaur 🦖. The coroner couldn’t get 🉐🉐🉐 her eyes 🤩 closed. So, now her face 😀😀😀 is 🈶 frozen ⛄⛄ in a mass of tremendous horror and anguish. Or as my mother 👪 called it, Tuesday! Tuesday! My mom 👪👪 called it Tuesday. Hey 👋, Mom 👪, what 😅 did you think 🤔 of that joke? You like 😄😄 that? You never ❌ did care for my comedy. Here’s a story. When ⏰ I was a teenager 👦👦, I preformed a comedy routine for my high 🆙🆙 school 🎓 talent show 📺📺📺. There was this ⬆ cool 😎😎 jacket 🧥 that I wanted ⚠ to wear because I thought it would make me look 👁 like 😄😄😄 Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up ☝ for this ⬆ jacket 🧥, but when ⏰ I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home 👪👪 and told my mother 👪👪👪. She said, “Let that be a lesson. That’s the good 👌👍🏾 that comes from wanting 😋 things.” She was really good 👌👍🏾 at dispensing life 💓 lessons that always 🕔 seemed to circle 🉐🉐🉐 back ⬅️ to everything being my fault. But then, on 🔛🔛 the day of the talent show 📺, my mother 👪👪 had a surprise 🤨🤨 for me. She bought me the jacket 🧥. Even though she didn’t know 🤔 how 🤔 to say 🗣🗣 it, I knew 🤔 this ⬆ meant she loved me. Now, that’s a good 👌👍🏾 story about my mother 👪👪👪. It’s not true, but it’s a good 👌👍🏾 story, right 👉👉👉? I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when ⏰ I was a kid 👦, where 🤷 she would talk 🗣🗣 about her father 👨👨👨. I remember when ⏰ I saw it, thinking 🤔 that’s the kind of story I want 😋 to tell 🗣 about my parents 👪 when ⏰ they die ⚰⚰. But I don’t have 🈶 any stories like 😄 that. All I know 🤔 about being good 👌👍🏾 I learned from TV 📺📺. And In TV 📺📺, flawed characters 🔣🔣 are constantly showing people 👫 they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think 🤔🤔 that part of me still believes that’s what 😅 love 😍😍 is 🈶. But in real life 💓, the big gesture 🤲🤲 isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependently good 👌👍🏾. You can’t just screw everything up ☝☝☝ and then take a boat ⛴ out 🏎🏍 in the ocean 🦑🦑🦑 to save 💾💾💾 your 👉 best 🏆 friend 🐶🐶🐶, or solve a mystery, and fly 🐦🐦🐦 to Kansas. You need to do it everyday, which is 🈶 so... hard. When ⏰ you’re a kid 👦, you convince yourself that maybe the grand gesture 🤲🤲🤲 could be enough. That even though your 👉 parents 👪👪 aren’t what 😅 you need them to be, over and over, and over again, at any moment, they might surprise 🤨🤨 you, with something... Wonderful. I kept waiting for that, the proof, that even though my mother 👪👪👪 was a hard woman 👧👧👧, deep down ⬇⬇, she loved me and cared about me and wanted ⚠ me to know 🤔 that i made her life 💓 a little bit brighter. Even now, I find 🔍🔍🔍 myself waiting. Hey 👋 Mom 👪, knock once if you love 😍 me and care about me, and want 😋 me to know 🤔 I made your 👉 life 💓 a little bit brighter. My mother 👪👪 did not go gentle into that good 👌👍🏾 night 😴😴. She went clawing and fighting 🥊🥊🥊 and thrashing, hence the face 😀😀😀. If you’d seen her, I swear to god the only thing you’d be thinking 🤔🤔 about right 👉👉👉 now is 🈶 that I am nailing this ⬆ impression. I was in the hospital 🚑🚑🚑 with her through those last moments, and they were truly horrific, full 🈵🈵 of nonsensical screams and cries, but there was this ⬆ moment, this ⬆ one 1️⃣ instant of strange calm, where 🤷 she looked into my direction ☝☝☝ and said, “I see 👁 you.” That was the last thing she said to me. “I see 👁 you.” Not a statement of judgement or disappointment, just acceptance and the simple recognition of another person 👤👤👤 in a room. “Hello, there. You are a person 👤👤. And I see 👁👁👁 you.” Let me tell 🗣 you, it’s a weird 😕 thing to feel at 54 years old 👴👴👴, that for the first 🥇🥇 time ⌚ in your 👉 life 💓 your 👉 mother 👪👪👪 sees you. It’s an odd realization that it’s the thing you’ve been missing, the only thing that you wanted ⚠ all along, to be seen. And it doesn’t feel like 😄 relief 😅, to finally be seen. It feels mean 😏, like 😄, “Oh, it turns out 🏎🏍 that you knew 🤔 what 😅 I wanted ⚠, and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me.” I was prepared for more ➕➕➕ cruelty. I was sure that she would get 🉐🉐 in one 1️⃣ final zinger, about how 🤔 I let her down ⬇⬇, and about how 🤔 I was fat and stupid, and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper. How 🤔 I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment. All that I was ready for. I was not ready for “I see 👁👁👁 you.” Only my mother 👪👪👪 would be lousy enough to swipe me with a moment of connection 📶📶📶 on 🔛🔛 her way ↕️↕️ out 🏎🏍. But maybe I’m giving her too much credit. Maybe it wasn’t about connection 📶📶. Maybe it was a.. Maybe it was a “I see 👁 you,” like 😄😄😄, “I see 👁 you.” Like 😄, “You May have 🈶🈶 the rest 😪😪😪 of the world 🌎🌎 fooled, but I know 🤔 exactly who 💁 you are.” That’s more ➕➕ my moms speed 🚅. Or maybe she just literally meant “I see 👁👁 you. You are an object that has entered my field of vision.” She was pretty out 🏎🏍 of it at the end 🔚🔚, so maybe it’s dumb to try to attribute it to anything. Back ⬅️ in the 90’s I was in a very famous TV 📺 show 📺 called “Horsin’ Around. Please 🙏🙏🙏 hold your 👉 applause 👏👏👏. And I remember one 1️⃣1️⃣ time ⌚⌚, a fan asked me, “Hey, um, you know 🤔 that episode where 🤷 the horse 🐴🐴 had to give Ethan a pep talk 🗣, after Ethan finds out 🏎🏍 his crush 😊😊 only asked him to the dance 💃 because her friends were only having a dorkiest date 👫 contest 🏆🏆🏆? In all the shots of the horse 🐴🐴🐴, you can see 👁 a paper 🖨🖨🖨 coffee ☕ cup on 🔛 the kitchen 🍯🍯 counter, but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee ☕☕ cup’s missing. Was that because the show 📺 was making a statement, about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory and how 🤔 even two ✌✌✌ people 👫👫 can experience 💯 the same moment in entirely different ways?” And I didn’t have 🈶 the heart 😍😍 to be like 😄😄, “No, man 👦👦👦, some crew guy 👦👦👦 just left 👈👈👈 their coffee ☕ cup in the shot 🥃🥃.” So, instead, I was like 😄😄... “Yeah.” And maybe this ⬆ is 🈶 like 😄😄 the coffee ☕☕ cup. Maybe, we’re dumb to try to pin significance onto every little thing. Maybe, when ⏰ someone says, “I see 👁 you,” it just means, “I see 👁👁👁 you.” Then again, it’s possible she wasn’t even taking to me. Because, if I’m honest, she wasn’t even talking to me, she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room. So I think 🤔🤔 she was talking to me, but, honestly, she was so far gone at that point 🈯🈯, who 💁 knows 🤔 what 😅 she was seeing. Who 💁 were you talking to, Mom 👪👪? Not saying, huh 😕😕? Staying mum? No 😣 rimshot there? God, whatever I’m paying you, it’s too much. Maybe, she saw my dad 👨. My dad 👨 died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel. When ⏰ your 👉 father 👨👨👨 dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Questions like 😄😄😄, “Wait, did you say 🗣🗣🗣 he died in a duel?” and “Who dies in a duel?” The whole thing was so stupid. Dad 👨 spent 😵😵😵 his entire life 💓 writing 🖊 this ⬆ book 📖, but he couldn’t get 🉐🉐 any stores to carry it, or any newspapers to review it. Finally, I guess one 1️⃣ newspaper 📰📰📰 thought he was hilarious, because they wrote a review and tore him to shreds. So, my father 👨, ever the Proud 😤😤 Mary, decided he would not stand for this ⬆ besmirch ment of his honor. He claimed the critic didn’t understand what 😅 it meant to be a man 👦, so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn 🌇🌇🌇. He wrote the paper 🖨🖨, this ⬆ letter ✉️✉️, saying anyone who 💁 didn’t like 😄 his book 📖📖📖, he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world 🌎. He’d even pay 💸 for airfare to San 🇸🇲 Francisco and a night 😴 in a hotel 🏨. Well, eventually this ⬆ found it’s way ↕️↕️ to some kook in Montana, who 💁 was as batshit as he was and took him up ☝ on 🔛🔛🔛 the offer. They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed: ten paces, then shoot 💫. But in the middle 🖕🖕🖕 of the ten paces, Dad 👨 turned to ask the guy 👦 if he’d actually read 🛋🛋 the book 📖 and what 😅 he thought, but, not looking where 🤷 he was going, tripped over an exposed root and basked his head 💆💆💆 on 🔛🔛🔛 a rock 🧗‍♀️. I wish 🙏🙏🙏 I’d known to go to Jack in the Box 🍱 then. I could have 🈶 gotten a free 🆓 churro. It would’ve been nice to have 🈶🈶 gotten something to show 📺 for being the son of ButterScotch Horseman. My darling mother 👪 gave the eulogy. My entire life 💓 I have 🈶 never ❌ heard her say 🗣🗣 a kind word to or about my father 👨, but at his funeral ⚰ she said, “My husband is 🈶 dead 💀💀💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” “My husband is 🈶 dead 💀💀💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” I don’t know 🤔 why 🤔 she said that. Maybe she felt that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to say 🗣🗣🗣 at a funeral ⚰⚰⚰. Maybe she hoped one 1️⃣ day someone would say 🗣🗣🗣 that about her. “My mother 👪👪 is 🈶 dead 💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” Or maybe she knew 🤔 he had frittered away all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt, which is 🈶 a pretty shitty thing to leave your 👉 widow with. “Bad news, you lost 🏳🏳 your 👉 husband, but don’t worry, you also lost 🏳🏳 the house 🏠!” Maybe Mom 👪👪👪 knew 🤔 she’d have 🈶 to sell all her fancy 💠 jewelry 💍 and move into a home 👪👪👪. Maybe that’s what 😅 she meant by “everything is 🈶 worse now.” Is 🈶 that what 😅 you meant, Mom 👪? You know 🤔, the first 🥇🥇 time ⌚⌚⌚ I ever preformed In front of an audience, it actually was, uh, with my Mom 👪👪👪. She used to put on 🔛🔛 these shows, with her supper club in the living room, and she used to make... she used to make me sing 🗣🗣🗣 “The Lollipop 🍭 Song” Those parties, they were really something. There were skits and magic 🎩🎩 acts, and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines, and the big finale was always 🕔 a dance 💃 my mother 👪 did. She had this ⬆ beautiful dress 👗 that she only brought out 🏎🏍 for these parties, and she did this ⬆ incredible number. It was so beautiful and sad 😞😞😞. Dad 👨 hated the parties. He’d lock ⛓⛓ himself in the study 🔬🔬🔬, and bang on 🔛🔛🔛 the walls for us to keep it down ⬇⬇, but he always 🕔 came out 🏎🏍 to see 👁👁 mom 👪👪👪 dance 💃. He’d linger in the doorway, scotch 🥃 in hand 👍👍, and watch 👁👁 in awe, as this ⬆ cynical, despicable woman 👧 he married... Took flight 🛩🛩. And as a child 👶 who 💁 was completely terrified 😨😨 of both of my parents 👪👪, I was always 🕔 aware of this ⬆ moment of grace, it meant something. We understood each other, in a way ↕️. Me, My Mom 👪👪 and my Dad 👨, as screwed up ☝☝☝ as we all were, we did understand each other. My mother 👪, she knew 🤔 what 😅 it’s like 😄😄😄 to feel your 👉 entire life 💓 like 😄 you’re drowning with the exception of these moments.. these very rare, brief instances, in which you remember..you can swim 🐠🐠🐠. But, then again, mostly not. Mostly you’re drowning. She understood that too. And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad 👨. All three 3️⃣3️⃣3️⃣ of us were drowning, and we didn’t know 🤔 how 🤔 to save 💾 each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together. I would like 😄😄 to think 🤔🤔🤔 that’s what 😅 she meant when ⏰ we were in the hospital 🚑🚑 and she said, “I see 👁👁 you.” You know 🤔 the weird 😕😕😕 thing about both your 👉 parents 👪👪 being dead 💀 is 🈶 it means you’re next ⏭. I mean 😏, you know 🤔, obviously it’s not like 😄 there’s a wait 🚏 list for dying. Any one 1️⃣1️⃣ of us could get 🉐🉐🉐 run 🏃 over by some Snap-chatting 💬💬 Teen at any moment. And you would think 🤔 knowing 🤔 that would make us adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, stupid, and petty. I actually had a near death 💀💀 experience 💯, recently. A stunt went bad 📉 and I fell off of a building 🏭. I’m an actor. I do my own stunts. I’m on 🔛 this ⬆ new 🆕🆕 show 📺📺📺 Philbert. Im Philbert. Star ⭐⭐⭐ of the show 📺. It hasn’t come out 🏎🏍 yet, but it’s already getting Emmy Buzz. Oh, speaking 📢 of buzz... I’m supposed to take two ✌✌ of these every morning 🌞, but my days are so screwed up ☝☝ ‘cause of the shooting schedule 📅, I don’t even know 🤔 what 😅 morning 🌞🌞🌞 means anymore. There’s a joke in there somewhere, about a guy 👦 who’s been to so many funerals, he doesn’t even know 🤔 what 😅 mourning means anymore. Let you guys figure out 🏎🏍 that one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ for yourself. Anyways, you know 🤔 what 😅 I thought.. When ⏰ I was falling off the building 🏭 and went into panic mode? The last thing that my stupid brain 🧠🧠 could come up ☝☝☝ with before I died? “Won’t they be sorry 💔💔💔.” Cool 😎😎 thought, brain 🧠. I don’t even know 🤔 what 😅 “they” I wanted ⚠ to be sorry 💔. My mom 👪, before she died, could barely remember who 💁 I was. And of course, my dads dead 💀💀. The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel. He was so certain his book 📖 was his legacy. Maybe he thought it would vindicate him for all the shitty things he ever did in his stupid worthless life 💓. Maybe it did. I don’t know 🤔. I never ❌ read 🛋🛋 it. Because why 🤔 would I give him that? I used to be on 🔛 this ⬆ TV 📺 show 📺📺 called Horsin’ Around. Seriously though, hold your 👉 applause 👏👏👏. It was written by my friend 🐶, Herb 🌿🌿 Kazzaz, whos also dead 💀💀 now, and it starred this ⬆ little girl 👶👶👶 named Sarah Lynn. And it was about these orphans. And early 🕐🕐 on 🔛🔛, the network had a note 🔣, “Maybe don’t mention they’re orphans so much, because audiences tend to find 🔍 orphans sad 😞😞 and not relatable.” But I never ❌ thought the orphans were sad 😞😞. I always 🕔 thought they were lucky 🤞 because they could imagine their parents 👪 to be anything they wanted ⚠. They had something to long for. Anyway, we did this ⬆ one 1️⃣1️⃣ season ❄️❄️❄️ finale, where 🤷 Olivias birth mother 👪👪👪 comes to town. And she was a junkie, but she’s gotten herself cleaned up ☝☝, and she wants to be in Olivias life 💓 again. And of course, she’s like 😄😄😄 the perfect 👌 grown-up ☝ version of Olivia, and they go to the mall 🏬🏬 together and get 🉐🉐 her ears pierced like 😄 she’s always 🕔 wanted ⚠ and — Sorry 💔, spoiler alert 🚨🚨 for season ❄️ six 6️⃣6️⃣6️⃣ finale of Horsin’ Around, if you’re still working 🏗🏗🏗 your 👉 way ↕️↕️↕️ through it. Anyway, the horse 🐴🐴🐴 tried to warn her, “Be careful, moms have 🈶 a way ↕️↕️ of letting you down ⬇⬇.” But Olivia just thinks the horse 🐴 is 🈶 jealous, and when ⏰ the mom 👪 says she’s moving 📦📦 to California, Olivia decides to go with her. And the network really juiced the cliffhanger: “Is Olivia gone for good 👌👍🏾?” But of course, because it’s a TV 📺📺📺 show 📺📺, she was not gone for good 👌👍🏾. Of course, because it’s a TV 📺📺 show 📺📺 Olivias Mother 👪 has a relapse and had to go back ⬅️⬅️ into rehab, so Olivia has to hitchhike all the way ↕️↕️ home 👪, getting rides from from Mr ��🇷. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp. Of course that’s what 😅 happened. Because, what 😅 are you gonna do, just not have 🈶 Olivia on 🔛 the show 📺? You can’t have 🈶🈶🈶 happy 😀😀 endings on 🔛🔛 sitcoms, not really, because, if everyone’s happy 😀, the show 📺 would be over, and above 🆙 all else, the show 📺... Has to keep going. There’s always 🕔 more ➕➕ show 📺📺📺. And you can call Horsin’ Around dumb, or bad 📉, or unrealistic, but there’s nothing 🈚🈚 more ➕➕➕ realistic than that. You never ❌ get 🉐 a happy 😀😀 ending, ‘cause there’s always 🕔 more ➕➕ show 📺. I guess until there isn’t. My mom 👪👪 would hate 😡😡😡 it if she knew 🤔 that I spent 😵😵 so much time ⌚ at her funeral ⚰⚰ talking about my old 👴👴👴 TV 📺 show 📺. Or maybe she’d think 🤔🤔🤔 it was funny 😃😃 that her idiot 😜 son couldn’t even do this ⬆ right 👉, who 💁 knows 🤔? She left 👈 no 😣😣😣 instructions for what 😅 she wanted ⚠ me to say 🗣🗣. All I know 🤔 is 🈶 she wanted ⚠ an open 👐👐👐 casket ⚰, and her idiot 😜 son couldn’t even do that right 👉👉. I’m not gonna stand up ☝☝ here 👈👈 and pretend I ever understood how 🤔 to please 🙏🙏🙏 that woman 👧, even though so much of my life 💓 has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out 🏎🏍. But I keep going back ⬅️⬅️⬅️ to that moment in the ICU when ⏰ she looked at me and,...” I-C-U 👉.” “I..See 👁👁👁...You..” Jesus ✝️ Christ ⛪⛪, we were in the Intensive Care Unit. She was just reading a sign ⛎⛎⛎. My mom 👪👪👪 died and all I got was a free 🆓 Churro. You know 🤔 the shittiest thing about all of this ⬆? Is 🈶 when ⏰ that stranger behind the counter gave me that free 🆓🆓🆓 churro, that small act of kindness showed more ➕ compassion than my mother 👪👪 gave me her entire goddamn life 💓. Like 😄😄😄, how 🤔 hard is 🈶 it to do something nice for a person 👤? This ⬆ woman 👧 at the Jack in the Box 🍱 didn’t even know 🤔 me. I’m your 👉 son. All I had was you! I have 🈶🈶🈶 this ⬆ friend 🐶🐶🐶. And right 👉 around when ⏰ I first 🥇 met her, her dad 👨👨 died, and I actually went with her to the funeral ⚰. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why 🤔 she was still upset 😞😞😞, because she never ❌ even liked her father 👨👨. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when ⏰ my dad 👨👨 died. And I’m going through that same thing now. You know 🤔 what 😅 it’s like 😄? It’s like 😄😄😄 the show 📺 Becker, you know 🤔, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run 🏃 of it, hoping that it would get 🉐🉐 better, and it never ❌ did. It had all the right 👉👉👉 pieces, but it just— It couldn’t put them together. And when ⏰ it got canceled, I was really bummed out 🏎🏍, not because I liked the show 📺📺, but because I knew 🤔 it could be so much better, and now it never ❌ would be. And that’s what 😅 losing 🏳🏳🏳 a parent 👩‍👦👩‍👦👩‍👦 is 🈶 like 😄😄😄. It’s like 😄😄 Becker. Suddenly, you realize you’ll never ❌ have 🈶🈶 the good 👌👍🏾 relationship you wanted ⚠, as long as they were alive, even though you’ll never ❌ admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding onto that chance. And you didn’t realize it until that chance went away. “My mother 👪 is 🈶 dead 💀, and everything is 🈶 worse now.” Because now I know 🤔 I will never ❌ have 🈶🈶🈶 a mother 👪 who 💁 looks at me from across the room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see 👁 you.” But I guess it’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔. It’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔, that there is 🈶 nobody looking out 🏎🏍 for me, that there never ❌ was, and there never ❌ will be. No 😣, it’s good 👌👍🏾 to know 🤔 that I am the only one 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ I can depend on 🔛. And I know 🤔 that now and it’s good 👌👍🏾. It’s good 👌👍🏾 that I know 🤔 that. So.. it’s good 👌👍🏾 my mother 👪👪 is 🈶 dead 💀. Well, no 😣 point 🈯 in beating a dead 💀💀 horse 🐴🐴🐴. Beatrice Horseman was born 🐣 in 1938, and she died in 2018, and I have 🈶 no 😣😣😣 idea 💡.. What 😅 she wanted ⚠. Unless she just wanted ⚠ what 😅 we all wanted ⚠.. to be seen.

Submitted March 08, 2020 at 10:22AM by Woman_Eater_ via reddit https://ift.tt/2TzhCFY

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