#the ninja nearly die on a daily basis

[samthecookielord]

Mom said its everyones turn on the self-sacrifice dzgzdgxfxbfxgnhcm

[turtles-imagines]

Hello! Could I request the 2007 turtles meeting their s/o during their job. Like donnies tech job, mikeys party thing, raphs nightwatcher. I dont know what you'd do for leo so if you wanna add him just some random headcanons I guess. Thanks in advance and welcome to the writing community! (I run leon-you-clutz a friend of yours asked me to give you a shoutout)

Aaaaa you’re too sweet! Thank you for requesting 💚💚💚

((PS- For Leo’s job I just did ninja))

Leo 💙:

- You were walking home from the library late at night. You were so exhausted since exam season was in it’s prime. Not paying attention in your sleepy haze, you turned down a dark alley way often used by you and your friends as a shortcut. You didn’t notice the mugger waiting in the shadows until it was too late.

- Just as the mugger put a gun to your head, a mysterious figure appeared behind the man. Before you knew it, the mugger was writhing around in pain as the vigilante delt this guy a new one. He didn’t fall peacefully though, having hit you with the handle of his gun before going down.

- Here you were, laying on the ground in a lot of pain, with this mysterious guy who just saved you. Sitting up to thank him you are surprised to see a giant mutant turtle.

“Uhhh... thank you sir? Excuse me, I have to go”

- Before he can react, you stand up and run the opposite direction, not realizing you dropped your wallet in the process. Being the “ever-righteous symbol of justice” he is, Leo figured he would have to return the wallet to you.

- You wake up the next morning with a raging headache, partly from being hit in the head and partly from compulsively studying. You vaguely remember seeing your “new friend”, the giant fucking mutant turtle. Besides the fact you think you may be going through a psychotic episode in which you see giant turtles who walk, talk, and fight like humans, your day is pretty good... until you realize your wallet is missing.

- Nightfalls and Leo leaves the lair with the intent to return your missing wallet and blackmailing you into not telling anyone what you saw. Using the information inside the wallet, he was able to figure out your address. It was around 12:30 am and your studying was interrupted by a heavy knock at the door. Imagine your suprise when you open it to find your reptilian protector holding your missing wallet, seeming to be just as flustered as you were.

“Umm, hello Sir/Mam, I believe you dropped this”

Raph ❤️:

- What can you say, having to take a last minute job at a convince store in order to keep your broke ass alive sucked. But, the only thing that sucked more was having to work the night shift. Tired, hungry, and extremely bored, you decided to restock some shelves to keep you entertained. “I mean it’s stupid, right? Who the hell even goes into a crappy convince store on the bad side of town at 3 in the morning? Well no one, unless you’re looking to rob someone.” you thought. Well you and your big, fat mouth.

- You heard the door behind you open. After letting out an annoyed sigh and plastering a phony smile across your face, your turn to deliver a halfhearted greeting only to be met by a masked man holding a gun. He yelled at you to get behind the register and put all the cash in a burlap sack he held. Okay good plan, just one problem... there was only about $70 in the register.

- You sighed, realizing you were going to die in a sorry excuse for a 7/11 that was too cheap to even put cameras in. As you were finally accepting your death, the mysterious “Nightwatcher” basically kicked the door down and kicked this sky-mask wearing theif’s ass.

“So Mr. Nightwatcher, do you come here often?”

- After the incident with robber, the Nightwatcher would begin to visit you on slow nights. You’re relationship eventually turned into a casual friendship.

- He begun to visit more and more until it was a nightly ritual. He would beat up bad guys, roll into your store, not-so jokingly flit with you, grab some snacks, and then just sit by the counter.

- Raph, formally known to you as the Nightwatcher, had become a staple in you store and your life.

“Hey Dollface, next time some guy tries to hit on ya’, why not send em’ over to me”

Donnie 💜:

- Since living in the city was so expensive, you decide to move in with your elderly aunt. It was nice, except she had no idea on how technology worked. You weren’t that bad with tech yourself, except you had no idea how to fix what she messed up.

- It became a daily occurrence for you to have to sit down and sit for hours on end, just trying to figure out where she went wrong. It got to the point where you felt like all you were doing was fixing tech. That was when you decided to look to a tech support hotline.

- Since Donnie spent most of his time working as a tech support jockey and had a messed up sleep schedule, he was up at all hours of the night. You would often get Donnie when you called.

“Hello I’m Donnie your- oh hey (Y/N). What do you need help with?”

- Your relationship eventually blossomed into a friendship. You eventually did move out of your aunt’s house, but that didn’t mean you stopped calling. You two would call to just talk about life and gossip like middle-aged, white suburban wives.

- The first time you did meet Donnie was when you asked him over to help build a computer. He basically blurted out on the phone that he wasn’t human. When you did meet, he was a bit nervous. Of course you had questions, which he was actually kinda happy to answer.

- That became the basis of your friendship. Talking on the phone, fixing broken tech, and building random computers.

Mikey 💛:

- You had the patience of a saint. You had a lovely younger brother and of course you love him and his weird obsession with reptiles, but him and his sugar-hyped friends were really testing your patience.

- You practically thank god when your prayers are answered in the form of “Cowabunga Carl”, the life-sized turtle. You were very relieved to have had a discretion for your younger brother and his friends.

- After some party games and entertainment, it was about time to eat cake. Carl nearly had a heart attack when you offered him a slice of cake. Of course, as in true Mikey fashion, he littered your conversation with compliments.

“Hey, this cake is the second sweetest thing in this room. Can you guess what the first is ;)”

- Before he left the party Mikey gave you his phone number. Honestly, you thought he had a magnetic personality.

- It didn’t take long for you two to become close friends. Talking daily, playing against each other in online games, etc. But one thing always bothered you, you’d never seen his face, only his mask.

- It was a meetup after a party that you finally learned Mikey’s secret. Your brother’s friend had enlisted Mikey to make his party more fun. You two talked by his van after the guests had left when he finally spilled the tea that he was actually a giant talking turtle. But you two had grown so close that he could be a literal alien and you’d still be friends.

“So dude(tte), do you wanna go grab a pizza before I have to go home?”

[thedavesnews]

New Year Same Disappointment

I got not fun quips this go round. Just a yikes result sheet this year.  Was I even alive in 2019???

2019 Results 

Reach 7:00 for a mile running.  2018 was the first year that I didn’t beat my goal in January.  Most of the year was run/walk.  I think I can get close and really 7:00 might be too hard but I want to get as close as possible.---Really did not do a lot of running this past year of any consequence so this was kind of out by default.

Morning workouts.  Probable 2 a days in this scenario.  My perfect scenario is either morning runs daily or to run on days where weights are evening and weights on days with evening runs.  Not sure which is best but I’m planning on it.  Didn’t really pan out 3 years running but I’m re-adding to keep myself motivated…I’m really a glutton for resolution breaking on this one.---I tried to make this happen early but it fairly quickly and I could never get the energy in the morning.

Two cheat days a week with a subsequent cheat meal somewhere else in the week with a hope to eliminate the cheat day at some point.  This might actually be possible with that extra day per week so I think that small adjustment will make all the difference in the world!---This one comes and goes to be honest.  Some weeks it’s easy and other weeks it’s the most miserable thing on earth to not just eat what tastes the best.

#SixPackDave.  This is basically a permanent resolution at this point.  Ride or die baby!---HAHAHAHA....

Volunteer.  Since I actually have a date on the calendar I’ll at least mark something off the list again this year.  Yay me.---Not regular.  Will never be regular but I did it twice.  Quote met for life.

Read/listen to 50 books.  This year’s goal after several adjustments (as in I kept upping it) leveled at 45.---Met this with about 2 months left in the year.  

Compete in a 5K.  Got myself a runner girl so I think this will definitely happen in the upcoming year.---Treadmill warrior!  No official races though.

Get my 5K (non competition) under 27 minutes.  Will probably need a treadmill to get even close but 2019 is the year of the push!---See #1...

Publish my 2nd novel.  I have several underway and one of farther along than they others.  Would be fun to get another one out on Amazon!---Have a couple in progress but not publishable form.

Participate in writing prompts either once a week or twice a month (posted here of course).---I liked this idea but other things get in the way on a normal basis.

2020 Resolutions

I want some wins some I’m going to cheat a bit.  Sucks to always look back on this and know I didn’t do shit.

7 minutes for a single mile.  7:30 for continuous miles (example, 2 miles in 15 minutes)

Get physical.  No mandates on time of day or what the physical actions must entail.  Just do something.

Get the diet under control.  Cheat days aren’t nearly as important number wise as just getting some kind of consistency.

#SixPackDave...my yearly joke to myself.

Read 60 books.  Just set my goal on GoodReads.com and I have this feeling I’ll get this one way before EOY.  Taking this more seriously as I look towards my own publication.

Compete in a 5K.  Yep, back on here again.  Who knows, maybe I’ll even win :D

Non-compete 5K under 27 minutes.  Want to beat my personal best.  If #1 happens I could shatter this.  26:59 would be OK as well.

Get 2nd novel in a review-able status.  Odds of getting a 2nd book on the market in 2020 is as close to 0% as possible.  Not sad though, the effort to write hasn’t been there in 2019.

Do some writing prompts.  Tumblr is full of them, let’s have some fun this year on the blog!

General Goals

Ludum Dare Participation

Attend NYC New Year’s Eve party in Time Square!

Compete in Ninja Warrior

-Dave

Another year, another set of chances.

[ketsuekki]

Updated Dossier!

Minami Keumi is a terrorist from Kirigakure, most known for targeting important politicians and figures of power, greatly disrupting the Land Of Water’s internal affairs and relations with other countries. She defected from the Mist at age fourteen following an attempt on her life and successful murder of her twin, both actions sanctioned by the village after the knowledge of their kekkei genkai came to light. She reached the status of an A Rank criminal at age nineteen, and became involved with the Akatsuki at twenty-two. Currently has a 65 million ryo bounty on her head.

NAME: Minami Keumi

ALIASE(S): Bloody Wraith, Red Oni

AGE: 25 [Shippuden; default]

D.O.B: 22nd of May

GENDER: Cis female

SEXUALITY: Closeted bisexual with heavy preference for women

NOTABLE CONDITIONS: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, dyslexia, possible separation anxiety

APPEREANCE: Minami is a noticeably intimidating presence no matter where she is. She stands at 186cm and has an athletic build with strong, broad shoulders and narrow hips. Her arms and legs, her arms bearing the most, are covered in scars and healing cuts from the self-harm she inflicts on a daily basis. Her legs also have a few clusters of telangiectasia varicose veins, small blue ‘spider webs’ appearing on her right thigh and ankle. Even without her body, Minami is still quite the standout woman. She has dark green hair cut into an inverted bob, alongside a pair of matching green eyes. Her face, while pretty, in set in an eternally annoyed expression.

NATIONALITY: Formerly a Land of Water citizen and Kirigakure born shinobi.

OCCUPATION: Mercenary, Akatsuki agent

AFFILIATIONS: Kirigakure, Kiba, Hato, Akatsuki

MISC: Graduated from the Academy at age nine, became a chunin and defected at fourteen

PERSONALITY: At a surface level she is a vengeful, spiteful and sadistic woman incapable of mercy or sparing a single thought to anyone in her way. Once you wrong her, she will never forget. She will never stop being angry. She will never give up in trying to hurt you back. An eye for an eye? Take her eye and she’ll take both of yours, as well your limbs. Determination runs through her veins like fire, and once she has a goal… Not even the gods could stop her from reaching it.

Beyond this furious, fearsome front? She’s a pathetic woman. Minami is someone afraid to face her own emotions, her own thoughts, her own actions. Hypocrisy stains her every word; she loves to preach dignity, while having little to none herself. The few morals she has are ignored when she wishes to, stomped into the ground the second they become inconvenient to her aims. Her speeches mean little, nothing but empty words spoken so she can feel superior in any way she can.

With others, excluding those who piss her off, she can actually be surprisingly pleasant at times! Friendly, even. Minami enjoys joking and banter, relishing the temporary distraction from her own problems. Hell, a few pranks here and there are also enjoyable! Minami's also quite the amusing person too, oh so flustered and embarrassed at the slightest dip into the scandalous. 

It’s rather easy to gain her affection when you play your cards right, for she is desperate for any kind of companionship. Minami laughs just a little too hard, angers a little too quickly, and becomes attached far, far too fast. Earning your spot in her heart is tricky at first, but once you do? All that viciousness, all that loyalty – they’re yours to command at will, forever. Minami would destroy the entire world if those she loved wished it to be destroyed. She lacks any sense of self worth, viewing her existence as only justified by her usefulness to her precious people. The second she becomes without purpose... Minami flocks to death like a moth to a flame, eager to burn to nothing. 

BACKGROUND: She was born in Kirigakure to Rui and Hanko Keumi, except she wasn’t born alone. She had been beaten in the race out her mother’s room by Kiseki, her identical twin sister. From the second the two met, still covered in all sorts of fluids and viscera, they formed an unbreakable, overwhelming bond. They never spent a moment apart, babbling and dancing together for all their waking hours. Minami loved Kiseki more than anyone, and Kiseki loved Minami more than everyone.

The two entered the Academy at age five. While struggling in more traditional lessons, Minami and Kiseki excelled in the various ninja arts. Far too aware of their village’s highly competeitve nature, Minami became a violent bully who beat the other children into submission as she cemented their position at the top of the food chain.

They graduated at age nine, both killing a prisoner of war to prove their worth as a ninja. A few years prior and they may have ended up killing each other, but the village had begun to treat their graduates more carefully after Zabuza’s stunt. No more classmate slaughtering; there weren’t enough kids to spare for such methods anymore.

Minami and Kiseki were placed in Team Three, joined by a boy named Sora and led by the jonin Akira Tanaka. After five years as a rather sought out unit, the three genins were considered veteran enough to take part in the Chunin exams. Thus began Minami’s spiral of tragedy.

During the last section, Team Three were nearly decimated by Iwagakure ninja. The Chunin Exams were, after all, a war by proxy. Iwa and Kiri resented each other, and the recent Yosuga Pass incident only spurned their hatred. It was only natural the two teams chose each other as their final enemies. Already injured and exhausted, Team Three didn’t stand a chance. Minami was beaten into a state of complete agony, and her sister’s screams became the catalyst to the awakening of her kekkei genkai - the Blood Release, inherited from her mother’s Inoue genes. The Iwa genin were killed, ripped apart and mangled beyond recognition. Kiseki and Sora, on the verge of unconsciousness, were left as the only witnesses to Minami’s awful power.

They returned home. Sora snitched. The twins were deemed to be both dangerous and traitorous. Their deaths were sanctioned. The Keumi couple fled, leaving their daughters to their seemingly inescapable fate. They were right, in a way. Kiseki was murdered, skull smashed to bits by a well timed earth style. But they were also wrong. Minami didn’t die. She managed to get out of the village, her sister’s body carried on her back. She abandoned Kiseki’s corpse out of necessity, left nestled in a meadow, and ran. Oh, how she ran! Minami was entered into the Bingo Book as a C-Rank criminal, responsible for the killing of two Kirigakure ninja sent to assassinate her. 

She made her way to the Land of Fire, finding herself in an Inuzuka’s clutches. His power and gang (named Kiba) offered her protection from the Hunters, but she had do many, many disgusting things to maintain his promise of safety. Under his tutelage her power grew exponentially, and she began her rampant killings of Water officials. With each murder, the victim found hung by their own guts, she left the symbol of her extinct clan painted with blood. 

At age sixteen, practically seventeen, Minami gave birth to a son. She named him Hisoka and abandoned him after three days in the Land of Wind.

Shortly after, she killed his father and left Kiba. Minami would join a few organizations, using them as temporary meat shields from the Hunters, but she eventually went for the ‘lone wolf’ approach. She was nineteen years old when her rank in all the village’s Bingo Books was updated to A-rank. By then, she was strong enough to confidently fight those who came for her head alone.

At twenty-two, Minami killed Akira Tanaka. That woman had been like a mother to her, but she had been the one to crush Kiseki’s skull. All love Minami ever had for anyone, especially Akira, died the second Kiseki did. It was a slow and painful; sister killers didn’t deserve a nice and peaceful way out. No, no, no. They had to suffer.

The Akatsuki scouted her out after that, offering her a role as an agent to be called on and asked to do miscellaneous missions. Minami agreed, impressed by those who sought her out.

At twenty-five, she was promoted to a genuine member of the Akatsuki. Not that it was much of an achievement, mind you. Everyone else had died, so there wasn’t much choice... Although the true identity of ‘Madara’ had left her in shock, she eagerly obeyed his orders and joined his strange war. Sora had escaped her grasp for eleven years. Slippery bastard. But, now? With her being the enemy of an allied army and him being a soldier of said army? He couldn’t avoid her anymore! 

Minami got her wish. She found Sora and tore him in half, making sure he lived for as long as he could in that state to see his comrades die. However, reinforcements came just a minute after her long awaited revenge came to fruition. Minami had finally completed her goal. There was no longer any reason to force herself to keep living. She barely put up a fight, losing her left arm in the ensuing struggle. For some reason, Minami found herself running. And dying from chakra depletion. She had already used most of it in her battle with Sora, but this new unwanted amputation... It was draining up everything left faster and faster. By the end, Minami couldn’t even move. She collapsed onto the ground, surrounded by flowers. It was nice. Quiet. Peaceful. She had gone numb a while ago, so the pain of having a stump for an arm didn’t even bother her. 

Did she deserve to die like this, so calmly and joyfully? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But that’s what happened. As she lost every drop of chakra in her body, she found herself growing tired. Minami closed her eyes, and never opened them again.

The alliance soon found her body and placed it inside a scroll for safekeeping. Over the course of the war, it was lost during transit and never recovered.