#the n o i s e s 🫠🤤

[switchblade-serenade]

.🫠

[ohbabydollie]

True, you might have to make some hcs about ALL the body types; The cuddly plus sizes, the slender and ethereal tall drinks of waters, the tinies (they’re ether wholesome or a firecracker, there’s no inbetween), the bisexual butch like ladies or nonbins, the fems with muscles that step on you <3, twinks/femboys (that’s me!), and handsome women who remind of an anime character and make me feel things downstairs 🫠💕, female jschlatt…. jus’ female jschlatt…. I imagine her persona being akin to a Karen and those women from Brooklyn who smoke and work at a diner…. but actually she’s my wife….. my soft dom mommy wife who steps on me…. 🤤🥴💕💕💕💕

No weirdo girls who say “I have DDs and I’m a good catholic girl” like bitch, have you heard of a JOKE, a BIT, and a P E R S O N A before??????

Jesus H. Christ of Nazareth… I’m gonna kms in Minecraft in Minecraft……..

~🍓🍰

i got a few requests for hcs for different body types n im trying to get it done bc u guys deserve representation too!

i feel like schlatt would be a super cool girl to hang around, like the one every girl has a small crush on and a true girl’s girl. she’d be so pretty n tall, probably on the thicker side n she’s mean to men esp the misogynists, she gets a little nicer when they get to know her but to girls? she’s the sweetest, super polite, supportive, etc. she loves her women

no but srsly the ones that r like “date me! date me!” r so fucking weirdddd like what’s wrong w u, why r u begging a random 24 y/o man to date you when he doesn’t even know who you are and you don’t know him like that??

jfc, just download character.ai or smth if ur gonna be creepy 😭😭

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I logged back in to tumblr for a hot minute because of the Ghosted trailer and those thots on subby Chris 🤤🤤🤤

we are one mind, i swear because literally I've thought of nothing but Dom Ana and Sub Chris since watching that trailer, and I just felt seen with that post 🫠😵‍💫

at some point in the trailer it seems like he learns how to fight or something, but god i hope not, i hope he's nothing but dumb and adorable, and the gelled back hair and suit are just because she had to attend some fancy event and he's her arm candy.

"I mean, come on, who doesn't love a pathetic little man? 😮‍💨😮‍💨" >>> YES!!! My bi switch ass is gonna be murdered by that movie, and I can't fucking wait 😍

related to this

Yes!

Literally, we've got a hivemind going lol. A hivemind with major horny brain rot 😮‍💨

Also, yeah! I so fucking hope he doesn't learn how to fight. I want my pathetic little meow meow to remain as such. Don't make him competent, leave him useless and pretty lol. We all deserve it.

The arm candy part too: Y-E-S. Please.

I am gonna be murdered by the film as well. How could anyone not be? Like, what wouldn't I give to get a piece of that subby man? What wouldn't I give to watch Ana's character to do it for me? Nothing. N o t h i n g .

[sparkedblaze]

big ask i know BUT

whats ur favorite thing about each character in ur pinned post 👀👀

*deep breath*

Albert: I love his sass and his general assholery

Elmer: Sunshine boi™️

Jack: Angsty artist looking for a better life far away from where he is (relatable)

Davey: Again, sassmaster9000

Les: Such a little asshole, thinks the world of Jack and Davey, absolutely becomes King of Brooklyn

Mush: Sunshine boi 2: Electric Boogaloo

The Delanceys: I’m not even gonna say anything about them here. I have DOZENS of posts

Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Stu Podmore, and Pandora Lovegood very special cases bc I really like the versions that I rp on Instagram (very much not canon fuck jkr)

Leo Valdez: Feels like a 3rd (or 7th) wheel all the time. Stupid jokes to cope with pain. He was my first pathetic little man

Luke Castellan: Y’all know I love villains. And the twist in the first book and then the way he moves and acts throughout the rest of the series??!!! I love him (also I wanted him to step on me when I was younger but that’s neither here nor there)

Frank Zhang: HES SUCH A TEDDY BEAR AND SO PROTECTIVE OF HIS FRIENDS 😭😭😭I LOVE HIM SM

Dabi: THE STORY?!?! ARE YOU FKING KIDDING ME?!?! BRUH IM CAUGHT UP ON THE MANGA AND HOLY FUCK DUDE

Shoto: I love him for the same reason I loved Zuko as a kid (*reminder to self watch ATLA again). He was cold and distant because of his past but has this beautiful arc about making friends he didn’t expect and coming out of his shell.

Iwaizumi Hajime: Asshole. Doesn’t put up with Oikawa’s shit. That’s enough for me 💀 Has been my husband since high school 🥰

Nishinoya Yuu: HIM SMILE SO BIG AND HIM REALLY WIDDLE AND HIM SAVE SO GOOD

Joe: 🤤🤤🤤 *clears throat* Sorry um. He’s good at cooking and he can sk8 real good and his husband is really good with technology

John Laurens: He’s so cute and devoted to the cause and LAURENS INTERLUDE MAKES ME S O B

Pip: I love Phillip so much 😭😭HES SO GOOD AT RAPPING AND SO PASSIONATE

Usnavi: I love how much he cares. I talked more about it in that ask post, but I just love him sm

Benny: THE RIFF MAN. HES SUCH A SIMP AND I LOVE HIM

JD: Ohohohoho more villains. I always attach to villains. Always always always.

Heather Chandler: See: JD, BUT ALSO THEY TURNED HER MEMORY INTO SOMETHING GOOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Michael Mell: YOU DESERVED BETTER. IVE ADOPTED HIM AS MY SON AND IF ANYONE THINKS MICHAEL MELL WASNT THE BEST FUCKING FRIEND JEREMY HEERE EVER HAD YOURE GONNA CATCH THESE FUCKING HANDS BECAUSE HE WAS THE BEST AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER 😤

Katherine Howard: HER SONG FUCKING SLAPS AND THE SASSINESS LIVE LEAVES ME MELTING 🫠

Anne of Cleves: AGAIN. BANGIN SONG. SASSINESS LIVE. AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH HER WHEN WE WENT TO SEE IT LIVE. SHE GAVE ME HEART HANDS. T W I C E

Justin Laboy: Simp: the Sequel. My mans is just so relatable. Working hard to get into college and throwing it all away. Just for some 🍃

Emmett Forest: DWEEBUS. NERD ALERT. ILYSFM. STANDS UP TO CALLAHAN FOR ELLE. HANDLES CALLAHANS DIVORCE (on his wife’s side obv) ARE YOU BFFR?!?!

Janis: So raise your riiiiight f i n g e r- YES BITCH PREACH. FUCK GENDER ROLES. DONT PUT UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT YOU.

Christopher Diaz: I only just met this little shitstick but I LOVE HIM. HE HAS SO MUCH RIZZ JFC. EVERYONE LOVES HIM (and I can’t blame them????) HES JUST A LIL GUY

Athena Grant: MOM. SHES SUCH A MOM. AND SHES A GOOD MOM. AND ACAB SHOULD APPLY TO HER BUT IT DOESNT