#the most compelling female antihero I've read

[evil-women-step-on-me]

Sayeon Lee: A Tragedy of Her Own Making

"Am I a bad person? Or just a weak one?"

It would have been easy for Sayeon Lee to be drowned out by her more colorful supporting cast.

The main three, for example, have their own main character-level backstories. Ryujin's adoptive family was massacred by the Aberrant Corps, the organization she is then forced to join; she seeks to avenge them by killing the Level 9 officer behind her family (and maybe crush's) death. Iseul's father was an apparent beacon of goodness within the shady Aberrant Corps and died before Iseul came of age; Iseul strives to succeed him, even though the Corps is a darker organization than he could ever imagine. Min was stripped of his essence at a young age, the trauma forming his stoic, mute personality. He joins a gang of criminals led by a woman he probably loves- even though she will never love him back- at least not in the way she loves her real sister, Sayeon Lee.

And who is Sayeon Lee? She's a hard worker. She… goes to school. She had maids? Her day-to-day existence is pretty cushy. It's explicitly stated that Sayeon has never worried about money, and probably food. Samin provides her with everything should ever need. As Officer Cha drives her to the Corps, Sayeon worries about her salary.

And despite how sheltered Sayeon is, and how "normal" her goals are compared to everyone else's ("Make the world a better place"…. ok, gurl) Sayeon still manages to be a devastatingly tragic character. To me, the reason is simple: Her tragedy is largely of her own making.

After Samin killed her best friend's dad, Sayeon could have reacted in so many ways. She could've tried leaving the home, or she could've not. She could've accepted Samin (and her family's) criminal history by acknowledging many of their actions as necessary, or she could've not. She could've lived her life and tried embracing the things that bring her happiness- or she could've not.

She doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't. Sayeon chooses, inexplicably, to become a prosecutor. She studies until her nose bleeds so that she can get into a top school and put people like her sister in jail. She rejects having friends, hobbies, comfort, or any leisure throughout her teens just so that she can fulfill this purpose. She, essentially, rejects happiness itself.

And she didn't NEED to. From the start, no one has forced Sayeon to do anything. In fact, she has something that no other member of Cell 4 has: the backing of an ultra-powerful, ultra-rich family member who would do literally anything for her, no strings attached. Sayeon is the single most privileged member of Cell 4.

Ryujin didn't choose to be captured by the Corps. She didn't choose to sit in jail for years. Iseul is happy to be at the Corps, but he didn't have a choice in that either- unlike Sayeon, he isn't conveniently related to a family of supercriminals that would bail him out if he wanted something different. Min has had so little choice in his life that his character is basically defined by it. Even now, he is watching Sayeon on another person's orders. Does he even know he has a choice?

By contrast, Sayeon is FREE. She's still bound by society in some ways, so no, she won't become a prosecutor. But she had a choice between the Corps and a luxurious underground life as the untouchable sister of a superpowered heiress, who built an entire criminal empire just to protect her, and loves Sayeon with her whole heart and more.

And Sayeon still chose the Corps.

Sayeon is so mad with guilt and grief, so stuck on the idea of becoming society's Perfect Angel, the embodiment of her country and culture's ideals in some twisted form of repentance for something that she didn't even do- the actions of her family, which she did not choose and could not control- that she rejects happiness every time.

THIS is her fatal flaw. THIS is Sayeon's tragedy.

Not that she doesn't have a choice. But that she's always had one.

[stvlti]

10 female characters tag

@timothydraike tagged me to post 10 favourite female characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people, but honestly this list isn't gonna be too different from my 10 fave characters list cause most of them are women anyway 😂 😂 but here you go:

Nausicäa // Nausicäa of the Valley of the Wind, Studio Ghibli

I didn't explain it last time, but I feel like she is the prototype for all the Ghibli girl heroines, free and autonomous, except she's a young woman who knows exactly what she believes in and wants to do. She's a warrior princess who believes in peace and kindness rather than war; she listens to mother nature and tends to her garden as deftly as she handles her glider jet; she's a born leader who puts her subjects' wellbeing before her own immediate safety. This gif here shows the moment she took of her own gas mask to boost morale while they're crashing into a toxic wasteland. I don't think I've seen many representations of female leadership as compelling and utterly human as hers was before or after this film debuted in popular media.

Harley Quinn // DCU

She's a bundle of contradictions but it's in that I find a female antivillain/antihero that feels real. Her stocky build and bit of chub in the tummy area? Real. Her slobbish habits and love for nasty junk food? Real. Her all encompassing empathy for animal welfare? Real. Disregarding the artists that draw her with too big boobs, she's so ordinary in her appearance and habits that it actually feels like she's the kind of girl that media often overlooks. She's like the manic pixie dream girl but rounded out with relatable human traits.

Tsunemori Akane // Psycho-Pass

I related to her when I was 20 (exactly her age at the start of the series) because I was at a crossroads in life, just as she was. I was searching for my calling, just as she was trying to understand her purpose and place in society. And at that point in my life, I could appreciate the duality between abiding by the system (legal reformation) and questioning the system (dipping into revolutionary ideas). I can't see myself relating to a cop anymore now obviously, but she's a rather unique figure that I still think about.

Ava // Ex Machina (2014), filmblr

She brings out all my post-humanist sympathies. And I think she captures a sort of queer android and Other perspective, one that the male characters feel threatened by, that women can understand well.

Maeve Millay // Westworld

She's my murder mom. Something something about "I've died a thousand times, I'm not afraid of death" (I'm paraphrasing majorly), she's so badass. The fact that she was one of the first androids to awaken and actually challenge the humans, there's so much power in her taking her trauma in stride and moving forward nonetheless. And I think you can see a recurring theme here lolol

Lois Lane (Gotham City Garage) // DCU Elseworlds

Perhaps this is just preserving a core attribute of her main continuity counterpart, but I absolutely adore the spirit she embodies of journalists who stay defiantly committed to truth and justice in the face of insurmountable odds. Fighting against a fascist terror regime - which hits very close to home - and keeping the broadcast going even out in the wasteland. In this last aspect she carries similarities to Dr. Death Defying's character from Gerard Way's Killjoys series, except she's a woman and she was actually fleshed out as a character with a heart and soul and a lot of gravitas. How can you not love her?

(and I forgot this was supposed to be 10 characters from 10 different fandoms until I finished this list but let's say her being an Elseworlds character counts as a different fandom 🤡🤡)

Ripley // Alien (even tho Sigourney Weaver's personal politics is a bit yikes)

The proto-final girl and original warrior mother in sci-fi wrapped into one. (Ok, the crown for modern scifi warrior mother might have to go to Sarah Connor actually, but that's also another Cameron invention so they can share that title.) Even tho I can't relate to most of her character arc, I'm still very impressed by her character. They even touch on her PTSD a little which is unheard of in the contemporary movies at the time.

Honorary mention: Sarah Connor // Terminator

Marceline the Vampire Queen // Adventure Time

Not the original goth gf, but she is a goth gf. Gay and aesthetics aside, I really liked that the show let her be a bit weird and gross (which she should be considering she's kind of undead) and her tragic backstory gets me every time. The best thing is she's still a big softie, who takes good care of Ice King / Simon when he's around; you don't see that kind of (grand)daughter character in media much.

Beverly Marsh // It (2017)

I haven't read the book but tbh I liked the agency the first movie awarded her enough that I'm afraid of jeopardising it; I don't like how the book portrays / handles her sexuality. She is a survivor of csa, but she's a fighter regardless. I like that about her.

Darlene Alderson // Mr. Robot

I honestly debated putting her on this list again since I haven't seen a single Mr. Robot episode in so long, but I do remember her character being given her own arc in S2 (and onwards I suppose) and she's a little fucked up in her own way. People look at Rami's character and get sucked in sorting through his alters but Darlene is no less complex - damaged, dangerous, and compelling.

Other honorary mentions:

Riko Sheridan // DCU (an Asian girl who isn't infantilised or reduced to the model minority? shocker!)

Missy // Colette (2018), filmblr (she's actually a real historical figure so I'm not sure if she counts. But she's so radical and ahead of her time - in fact the film seems to suggest she prefers he/him pronouns. I have never seen such intriguing butch representation and I just fell in love with her character. Worth a watch.)

Jo March // Little Women (2019), filmblr (since we're talking about historical women... well, she's a period film character but not a real one, but she's highly evocative of certain female experiences in much the same way)

Blue // The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (so I didn't wanna crowd this list with too many android ladies but she's the first queer android girl character I came across and I loved her instantly. Too bad they buried her gay but her entire concept is my aesthetic)

Rem // Death Note (I feel like I'm obligated to mention DN, too bad it has shitty writing wrt female characters, that's why I have no choice but to stan the lesbian monster gf friend who is so in love with her gal pal she would die for her. Ugh, poetic cinema)

Ok now I am gonna tag @lawliyeeeet @sweetgloss @dressed-to-keehl @3dnygma @hikenacedabi and anyone else who wants to I guess