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starkravinghazelnoots · 5 years

Note

Orange or yellow and Peter or Tony for the drabble thing! (rly predictable ik sorry!)

ORANGE

Energy, balance, warmth, enthusiasm, vitality, expansion, flamboyancy, and autumn.

This turned into way longer than a drabble. I couldn't resist the pull of writing some Biderman in honor of Pride. I had a ton of fun writing this, so I hope this lives up your expectations and that all of you enjoy!

I apologize in advance if the line break doesn't work. Tumblr really hates when I try to use line breaks.

xXx

How to be Proud

Peter was pretty confident in himself. What's more, he had an extremely supportive family and group of friends, some of whom understood what he was going through better than others.

But that didn't mean it was always easy to be proud of himself. It wasn't for Peter, at least.

But Spider-Man? He didn't have that problem.

"Don't fucking touch me, homo!"

Peter rolled his eyes behind the mask as he shot a web over the criminal's mouth. "Trust me, buddy, I'm not gonna touch someone as nasty as you." He gestured to the purple, pink, and blue cape tied around his neck. "And for the record, Mr. Homophobe, I'm bisexual. If you're going to insult me, at least get it right."

Peter called the police to report the location of the tied-up criminal before swinging away. His curfew was in ten minutes, which meant he had to hurry if he wanted to make it back to his apartment on time.

He dove through his window right as the clock on his dresser changed to midnight - on Fridays he was allowed that extra hour, but he did have a tendency to push it.

"How was patrol?" May asked. She was leaning against the door frame of his room. She must have just gotten back from her shift at the hospital, because she was still in her scrubs.

"Pretty good!" Peter said, standing up. The Iron Spider mask disappeared from his face. "Stopped a bank robbery and some petty theft. I also rescued Mrs. Post's cat again. He keeps escaping and climbing up the tree next to her house." Peter snickered. "It's still so funny to me that she named her cat Jeff."

May smiled at his amusement. "Well, I'm sure she was very grateful."

He laughed. "Yeah. She always tries to give me cookies or some other kind of sweet before I leave." Peter snapped his fingers, remembering the last thing he did before returning home. "Oh, I also stopped a kid from being beat up. I don't know who he was, because he ran away when I swung down into the alley, but I took care of his attacker." He untied the flag from his neck and hung it over the chair in front of his desk. "He was a nasty guy, too. Homophobic. Smelled like hot garbage."

May chuckled. "Well, it's a good thing you were there to take care of him." She gestured to his bisexual flag. "Get any compliments on that?"

Peter beamed at her. "Yes! It was so great. A girl actually burst into tears when she saw me because she was so happy her favorite superhero was bisexual, too."

May held her arms out, and he eagerly accepted her hug. "I'm so proud of you, Peter."

Peter smiled. "Thank you, May." His voice was muffled by her shirt. "I love you."

May pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Well, I love you more."

"I love you most."

"Then I love you more than the most!"

Peter laughed. "You're the worst."

"Oh, I know."

xXx

MJ slid into the chair in front of Peter, startling him out of a daydream that definitely had not involved the aforementioned girl. "We're still on for Pride tomorrow, right?"

"I am," Ned said excitedly. "I can't wait!"

Peter nodded, taking a sip from the cup of coffee in front of him. He loved this little café. "Yep. It's gonna be so cool to go with both of you." He'd been looking forward to Pride all week. It would be his first time going as openly bi, and he wasn't sure whether he was excited or terrified.

MJ smiled. "Nice. Because I had a little idea that I thought the two of you might be interested in."

Peter glanced at Ned, who shrugged. "Alright," he said, turning back to MJ. "What's your idea?"

She smirked. "There is a third person I propose we bring to Pride. But I wanted your approval before I invited him."

"Sure. Who is it?"

MJ's grin widened. "Spider-Man."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "You want to invite Spider-Man?" It was always weird having to refer to himself in the third person. "Why?"

MJ shrugged. "He's an out and proud bisexual superhero. I think a lot of people, especially the teens at Pride, could use that kind of confidence boost."

Peter felt the blood rush to his cheeks, simultaneously embarrassed and flattered. "Oh. Okay."

"Do you have a specific thing you want Spider-Man to do at Pride?" Ned asked.

"I'm glad you brought that up." MJ pulled her sketchbook seemingly out of nowhere and placed it on Peter's desk. "I drew some concept art for what I think Spider-Man should wear."

Peter looked at her sketch. "Don't you think that's a bit flamboyant for a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?"

MJ shrugged. "So what? Sure, Spider-Man is pretty down-to-earth. But if he was going to be flamboyant, wouldn't Pride be the perfect time for him to do it?"

Confidence surged through Peter's veins. "Yeah. You're right."

MJ rolled her eyes, smirking. "Of course I am."

xXx

Tony stared down in disbelief at the picture in his hands. "Parker, you want me to do what to the Iron Spider suit?"

Peter beamed at him. "Just follow the picture. You're the best Mr. Stark! Okay bye now."

Tony sighed as his intern dashed out of the building. "That kid is going to be the death of me."

xXx

"How's the suit?" MJ asked, popping her gum.

Peter smirked, gesturing to the watch on his wrist. "It's ready whenever. And can I say that it looks cool as hell?"

"Of course it does. I designed it."

"I can't wait," Ned added. "You're gonna look so badass, Peter."

Peter laughed. "Well, I don't know about that."

Pride was in full swing around them. Both Peter and MJ had bisexual flags painted on their cheeks, and Ned had a classic rainbow. Peter also had his bisexual flag tied around his neck, and MJ had an ace flag tied in the same way. Ned had turned down wearing a flag as a cape, instead choosing to wear a long-sleeved black shirt with rainbow patches running down the arms.

Time flew by. The trio marched for over an hour, maybe two, before breaking off to go to a drag queen comedy performance, then went to lunch together.

"So there's a concert in about thirty minutes," MJ said as they were leaving the restaurant. "Want to go to that?"

Peter shrugged. "I'm down with whatever."

"As long as it doesn't last too late in the afternoon," Ned pointed out. "Spider-Man is planned for what - 4ish?"

Peter laughed. "Don't worry, Ned. I'm watching the clock." His heart was racing, and he wasn't sure if that was from nerves or from excitement - either way, he couldn't wait.

The concert itself was decent. Peter thought he might have enjoyed it better had he actually known who the band was. Not to mention he was distracted, glancing at his watch so often he couldn't truthfully say he was paying attention. He a made a mental note to look into more of the band's albums later.

"Hey, Peter," MJ said, smirking at him. "It's 4 o'clock."

Peter rolled his eyes. "You guys are really living for this, aren't you?"

"Duh," Ned said, beaming. "Do it, dude!"

Peter laughed. "Alright, alright." He ducked into an empty alleyway - how fitting that the concert had been so close to one. Apparently the universe was rooting for Spider-Man to show some pride.

After making sure no one was around him, Peter crouched behind a dumpster and tapped at his watch. Within seconds the Iron Spider suit rolled out and covered him. He blinked for a moment to adjust to his sharper vision.

Peter then shot a few webs at the side of the building in front of him, getting a running start before swinging up onto the top of it.

He looked down at the crowd below him. The bright colors of a hundred LGBT+ flags filled him with elation and immense confidence. He'd never be able to replicate that feeling.

Peter shot a web at a pole near the crowd, swinging down and around so that he landed on top of it.

"Hey! New York Pride!" he shouted. His suit magnified his voice. A quick glance at his arm revealed that the suit was doing exactly what it was supposed to do - shift through the colors of as many pride flags as possible. "Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is here to remind you that you should never be ashamed of who you are! You are all amazing, beautiful, inspiring people. If it weren't for you guys, then I'd never have been able to feel comfortable expressing myself." As if on cue, the wind picked up, causing his bisexual cape to flutter behind him. "I'm able to be who I am because of this city. Thank you, New York!"

The crowd started cheering, and Peter swung down into the middle of it, managing to hold short conversations with various people before being whisked off to talk with someone else.

He ended up in front of a young boy who had the trans flag painted on both of his cheeks and a pan flag tied around his neck.

"H-Hi," the boy stammered. "I love you, Spider-Man! You're my favorite hero!"

Peter smiled at the kid. He looked to be maybe around 13 or 14. "I'm flattered. Have you been having fun today?"

The kid didn't answer, instead staring intensely at Peter. Finally he blurted out, "Thank you for saving me!"

Peter blinked. "Saving you?"

The boy nodded. "Y-Yes! A few nights ago, my stepfather, he - he kicked me out of the house, and he followed me away, and he... He started hitting me, but then - then you showed up and you saved me!"

Peter was thankful his mask hid his shocked expression. He remembered that encounter all too well. "That was you?"

"Yes. And I live with my aunt now so everything is okay but I just - I just wanted to say thank you."

Peter almost asked why the boy's stepfather had kicked him out, but given that the trans flags on his cheeks were streaked with tears... That told Peter everything he needed to know.

"Hey," Peter said, placing his hands on the kid's shoulders. "I want you to know that you should always be proud of who you are, okay? No matter what anyone tries to tell you, your identity is beautiful." He winked at the boy. "Remember, Spider-Man will always be on your side."

It was no coincidence, Peter figured, that at that moment his suit shifted from the colors of the trans flag to the pan one.

He said goodbye to the boy before swinging up and out of the crowd, high fiving people as he went.

Pride.

It was a funny word, really.

Pride meant a mixture of confidence in oneself and trust in others.

And in that moment, Peter had never been prouder.

xXx

Mr. Stark: quite a stunt you pulled at NY pride today, Mr. Parker

Peter: lol sorry i didn't tell you that was what the suit was for

Mr. Stark: first of all, it was so obvious that was what the suit was for. second, why didn't you tell me? did you think I'd disapprove? kid you know I've been out since the 90s

Peter: I was worried you might think it was too flamboyant for a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Mr. Stark: there's no such thing as being too flamboyant. I made a few modifications to my own armor for a trip I myself plan on making to pride tomorrow

Peter: what?! without me, Mr. Stark? how could you

Mr. Stark: Pete. I never said you couldn't go with me

Peter: so I'm invited?!

Mr. Stark: whatever you want, kid

Peter: yesssss tomorrow is gonna be awesome

Mr. Stark: uh huh. Sure.

Peter: :D

Mr. Stark: hey, kid?

Peter: yeah?

Mr. Stark: I'm proud of you. You know that, right?

A single tear fell onto the screen of Peter's phone. Maybe of happiness. Maybe of thanks. Maybe even just of sentiment.

Peter: thank you, sir.

Mr. Stark: but don't get used to the compliments

Mr. Stark: i have a reputation to maintain

Peter: sure, Mr. Stark. sure

Peter put his phone on his dresser, falling backwards onto his bed. The day had been perfect. Even if he had chickened out yet again in confessing his feelings to MJ. But that was okay.

At least he'd made Mr. Stark proud.

Huh.

Peter chuckled to himself.

Maybe he should pull flamboyant stunts more often.

xXx

Thank you for requesting this! Other drabbles probably (for my sake lol) will not be this long. If anyone else wants to send a request, please feel free to do so. Again, thank you for reading!

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parkminijiminie · 6 years

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Why would jungkook be thirsting over a 16 year old girl with the cameras around? He was impressed by her movements

Anon 2: tbh he had a similar reaction to the boy before, he was very attentive and looked genuinely into it, i saw the clips of them dancing and i must say that girl at the end was really something. the control she had over her body was really impressive and they all looked shook. i don’t even believe km are in a relationship but some people are overreacting already and painting them as these horny teenagers like? +y'all’s logic is weird. being in a relationship = can’t find any other person attractive?

Anon 3: i personally only saw them all as impressed with her performance n i didn’t see anything sexual with their reactions, especially considering the girl was 16 n they all kept referring to her and the other performers as kids

Anon 4: I think it‘s quite unfair how fast and strong people tend to Analyse EVERYTHING BTS does. I feel like the boys can‘t even breathe these days without someone reading into it. That Rookie girl she was 16 ffs CALM DOWN PEOPLE.. for me it was a normal reaction, because from what we got to see that girl could move her body in such an impressing way. I honestly feel rather sorry if you people never experienced being touched by art before. Because it‘s the most beautiful feeling. Just give them space!!

Anon 5: Wow so people out here can’t tell the difference from being impressed with someone’s talent vs attraction and thinking someone is hot ? Wild.

Anon 6: I’m ace and don’t even feel sexual attraction, but I react the same way to performances I find really amazing. It’s an attraction to the skill and art, not the performer.

Anon 7: weird.. I didn’t read into any of their reactions at all?? like, nothing about their reactions to those videos raised a red flag, I really don’t understand why everyone is making a deal of it. Especially because they were reacting to dancers… as dancers themselves.. the reactions make sense? this fandom is so dramatic sometimes lol

Anon 8: If he had pulled that same reaction with a guy on the screen no one would bat an eye, would say it was because of his dance/talent. but because it was a pretty girl on the screen (who I think is underage?), it must mean he’s attracted to her and not because he’s impressed by her talent. there is just so many things wrong with that way of thinking smh

Anon 9: Y'all really out here making jk look like a pedophile by claiming he looked attracted to or turned on by that underage girl. Can he not admire someone’s talent without people claiming he is attracted to them. Unnecessary drama that jk or any of the members don’t need especially involving underage children.

Anon 10:Why people keep talking about a reaction of ONE DANCE omfg, can we be honest? It’s just a performance and he saw someone performing very good. I guess everyone who watches a good performer admiring that way. Tha heteronormative thing sucks, for God sakes she’s a minor, wtf, this people need to chill out their way of think, it’s discuting, the boys cannot be beside a girl for all this s**T start again. Just need to stop, this is ridiculous…

~~~~~~~~~~~Hey, Anons!

I hope you don’t mind me combining your asks but I feel like I have some things to say and I’d only end up repeating myself otherwise. This will also be the last time I’m talking about it as I believe I don’t have anything more to add. Not only that but I don’t wish to ever incriminate in any way shape or form Jungkook or Bangtan so maybe this post will be deleted in the future. 2 of the previous asks already are as I want to protect the members and not aid in any additional drama.

I’ve told you in the previous asks that at first I only saw the BTS react video and not what they were reacting to. I had only their expressions and comments to go by and that means I couldn’t be objective. It’s impossible without the source material. At the initial watch, their reaction to the last video really striked me. Apparently what they were seeing was special even from the moment the music started. All I could see were them being hyper focused, amazed at the performance and mesmerized, as well as I could hear a sexy song.

To me, had they not watched a dance or been professionals, if this was a normal social situation, I could interpret some of that reactions to some sort of attraction. Keep in mind that one can be attracted to the way a person moves ,talks, sits, one can find it worth watching and alluring to the eye without really having any sexual intentions towards that person. Had Bangtan been normal people, normal young adults and not idols, currently working it would maybe make sense. That’s not the case though which is why from the beginning I said that admiration is a very highly plausible explanation.

Obviously, when you see what they’re reacting to, things seem in a new light. The girl is crazy crazy talented and honest to God, their reaction was more than justified. When you see that video, you’re bound to be amazed and affected. It’s how she dances. Doesn’t even matter what sexuality you have, she is just that good. You can be a rock and still have a strong reaction and be mesmerized. It’s what she deserves.

The thing that striked me then and I said is very important to keep in mind, is her young age. Really, 16 is too young and them having sexual desires towards her is highly highly unlikely. Attraction to her talent and art? Sure. But not a desire to bone. So, I’m not making them out to be so pervs. From the beginning I said her age is very crucial here for all alternative explanations and actually can’t be overstated. I don’t think Bangtan would see a person so young as a potential sexual object. There’s just no way, especially considering there was no promiscuity whatsoever. But even then, I believe they know well where to draw a line, as anyone should.

Eventhough JK is not that much older than her (5 years, I think) and maybe in some places a man that age can date younger girls, it’s still not a small difference, especially at that point of their lives, she is still underaged and they all know that. Not only would something like that be a literal scandal from hell due to their idol status but it would be morally very ambiguous or if we want to be really blunt - paedophilic. A 5-6 years difference is not much when both people are adults but not in the case of one of them being underaged. Though if we want to talk about paedophilia - isn’t that what we saw in the early Bangtan days? People shipped Tae, who was 18 at the time and JK, who were only 16. Not to mention how JM is overly sexualized before he was llegal and so was Jungkook. So let’s not pretend like issues like that don’t exist in kpop because they do.

On a much serious note, I am always worried about all those young, naive and fame hungry trainees who leave their homes, only to be entrusted to men, usually much older than them. It worries me because this sounds exactly like the perfect setting for some very dark things to occur with one side being very young, almost helpless and the other being much older and richer and holding all the power. It’s unsettling what could be happening behind the curtains, far away from our knowledge..

Onto heteronormativitity. It’s an issue and we all know it. It has always been. Had this been a boy, even one at their age, many peolle would never even look twice, even if BTS reaction was a rather quizzical one. It’s how the minds of many people work, sadly. When it’s a malexfemale interaction, everything is fair game and “evidence”. With malexmale it’s exactly the opposite - “brothers until proven otherwise” and even then..

Age completely aside, for many people it’s hard to imagine a man can appreciate a girl for her talent and achievements and not her sex appeal. It’s concerning. This is exactly why I said that we don’t see more femalexmale interactions in kpop, there’s no way a genuine friendship won’t be twisted. Just look at the situation with Yoongi and Suran. The company had to even make a statement denying the dating rumours. Not to mention JK x IU and that whole can of warms. Boy can’t even be a fan nowadays.

In the end, regarding this concrete issues, it’s obvious it was a case of tallent appreciation. But the problem is not there. Tomorrow someone else might be involved, someone not underage or a rookie and then we’ll get a whole scandal on our hands. It’s not even about shipping or sexuality, about KM or whether or not X member is gay, bi or straight. It all kind of boils down to the rather problematic way malexfemale relations are perceived in kpop.

I really hope my words didn’t pour oil into any fire

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acidblackpirate · 6 years

Text

A Bonding Chat (Part 3)

Ka-yu was staring blankly at the third exhibition piece.

Two dark lines on a light background. Okay. It was minimalistic. Minimalistic was good, wasn’t it? A lot of feeling with little …

He had no idea if it was any good, if he was being honest. He had no idea if he even liked or disliked it. He had no feeling about it whatsoever.

With a sigh he went on to the next painting.

His date had liked the exhibition. His date was sophisticated. Ka-yu would have liked to be sophisticated, too. He felt bound to like the exhibition, especially since he had already claimed that he did.

The next piece was a sculpture. His date had liked the sculptures.

Ka-yu looked hard.

Still no feeling.

The room was almost empty except for him, a woman in her forties and a guy who had turned his back on ka-yu. Something about his posture looked familiar, but he couldn’t even see his head because the sculpture was in the way. It could have been anyone.

Ka-yu surrounded the sculpture, willing to give it a try from another direction. It was important to try different angles to see how the art interacted with the space around it, he told himself.

No feeling from the other side as well.

The woman went on to the next room.

Ka-yu watched her walk away. Anything was more interesting than this exhibition. Although, of course, it was very fascinating and valuable.

When she was gone he turned to the man now left alone in the room with him. A mouthpiece was covering half of his face, but the eyes told him enough. So did the long, blonde hair and the familiar posture. He also knew that jacket, he noticed now.

At first the shock was too big to react at all.

He hadn’t noticed ka-yu yet.

He could just turn around and walk away. He never needed to find out. But then that was ridiculous.

“Yasu?!”, ka-yu called out, flinching at how loud his own voice sounded in the nearly empty room.

His friend turned around, pulling down the mouthpiece so it was now dangling underneath his chin.

He looked puzzled.

“Ka-yu, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Looking at the exhibition, stupid.”

Ka-yu trotted over, eyeing his friend closely.

It couldn’t be Him. They had talked about the exhibition yesterday. He had been here already. They had talked about honest emotions and books, both of which weren’t exactly yasu’s strong points. And art, of course. Yasu did not care about art. He did not care about going to the museum.

Still, here he was.

“I’m rather wondering what you are doing here. You know I sometimes like to do something for my cultural education. But you hate museums.”

Slowly yasu nodded.

“You mean you like to act like a smartass because you spend an hour looking at things you don’t understand. Yeah, sounds like you.”

There he went again – making fun of him. Not taking ka-yu serious at all. Acting so immature, just because he was actual interested in something that had a little class.

“So?”, ka-yu insisted. “What are you doing here?”

Yasu sighed.

“So, this lady friend of mine recommended the exhibition and I thought she would be pleased if I went.”

Ka-yu squinted his eyes.

It was a reasonable explanation.

It sounded very much like yasu.

“You are trying to impress her?”, he made sure.

Yasu rolled his eyes.

“I’m trying to get her naked, bro.”

Somehow, ka-yu managed to sigh and chuckle at the same time. Thanks to yasu he had a lot of practice at making that noise. The thought that there was a girl bothered him a little, though.

“Then it can’t be helped”, he said. “Looks like we are in this together.”

“If the next room is like this one, I will need all support I can get”, yasu joked and together they entered the next room.

If possible, it was even worse.

“Oh, abstract paintings”, ka-yu stated with the air of knowledge.

Yasu pointed over his shoulder.

“So, those just now weren’t abstract?”

He made a face. It was so desperate with confusion that ka-yu actually had to laugh again.

“They were modern”, he said.

Yasu raised his eyebrows critically as if he doubted ka-yu even knew what he was talking about.

He nodded towards the first painting.

“I think those are boobs”, he said.

Groaning ka-yu rolled his eyes.

He read out the description.

“It’s called The Great Longing, yasu. Not Random Porn. It expresses the hidden desires of the artists. To me, the painting looks like a painful struggle, a craving for meaning in this chaotic world.”

Actually, he was improvising based on the title, but he did not want to admit he was on the same educational level as yasu. His level was pretty low.

“A craving for boobs, you mean”, he said and walked over to the next painting.

Slightly annoyed ka-yu followed him. It was just a giant mess of colours.

Yasu extended his hand, drawing two circles into the air that seemed to follow the outlines of the colour red.

“Boobs”, he said.

“It’s …”, ka-yu started, but gave in because he couldn’t think of a reasonable protest.

That picture could have been anything. It could have been boobs.

In the middle of the room there was another giant sculpture interacting with the space around it. Yasu walked towards it now, studying it for a moment.

“And that?”, ka-yu asked.

He had to admit that the exhibition was pretty shitty. He was almost glad that yasu was here, too. With him it wasn’t boring at least.

“That my friend”, yasu explained dignified. “Are two people doing the nasty.”

Ka-yu stared at the unidentifiable thingy in front of him.

“Are you sure it’s just two?”, he assured. “How many arms does each of them have?”

It made yasu laugh.

His laughter sounded sweet. Ka-yu loved to make him laugh.

“One of them is holding a flag”, he said. “You see, that dude there is lying on the floor, holding up the flag over their head, and their one knee is … you know … doing that karate move. And the other dude is like … “

He reached out as if holding something in front of him and pretended to thrust into someone from behind. He pretended to do it standing on only one leg.

Ka-yu cracked up.

“Oh my god, yasu, stop that”, he laughed.

Yasu looked so ridiculous that his eyes were already starting to burn with tears.

“This piece doesn’t have a title, just a number”, yasu announced disappointed.

He had stopped his performance and bend over the small plate in front of it now.

“I shall name it Nationalistic Prostitution”, he declared.

“What?”, ka-yu said.

“Because of the flag”, yasu explained with a grave nod. “Still holding it up while being fucked over.”

He lowered his voice and leaned in to ka-yu as if he wanted to tell him a secret.

“I bet they are Americans.”

This time ka-yu had to laugh even louder.

Yasu was funny. He was a dork, but he could also be smart if he wanted to.

For a moment, he thought that this was a far nicer date than he could have hoped for.

Ka-yu liked to go to exhibitions like this sometimes. But he also knew that yasu was right and that now and then he tended to be a little pretentious about it. Someone who made him laugh at it and at himself was probably better than someone who made him be even more pretentious.

“Come on, the next room is waiting for us”, yasu shouted euphorically.

Ka-yu winced.

“How many rooms are there?”

He hadn’t really expected yasu to know the answer, but he beamed at him.

“You have 16 more rooms to look forward to.”

“Lucky me”, ka-yu said dryly.

But with yasu coming along, he didn’t really mind all that much.

***

“You are exaggerating!”, ka-yu laughed breathlessly as he climbed the last steps towards yasu’s front door.

They had went for dinner after the exhibition at a restaurant down the street. It had been a little more exclusive than the places they usually ate at together, but very tasty. It had felt very grown-up, sort of.

“I’m sorry”, yasu chuckled. “I had fun today.”

Ka-yu nodded while he watched yasu fumble for his keys. He was taking longer for it than usual and suddenly ka-yu realized what this felt like.

Going to the museum together. Dinner at a fancy restaurant. Taking yasu home to his doorstep.

That was a date. That was how a date went. A date that usually ended with a kiss.

Well, at least a kiss.

Uncomfortable ka-yu cleared his throat.

“Yeah, we should do that again sometime”, he confirmed.

Yasu had found his keys now but was obviously hesitating to unlock the door.

He remembered what his last date had written when he had wanted to kiss him. I’ve been waiting for that, idiot.

Right now, yasu looked up to him, standing very close and his lips slightly apart as if he was waiting for it, too.

Ka-yu also felt like an idiot again.

“Yasu”, he said softly, not sure what he wanted to say.

Tell him, a voice inside his head shouted. Tell him you’re bi and he’s the most beautiful person you have ever met. Tell him how you love his dorky laugh and his serious attitude towards work. Tell him you only ever wanted a person who was intelligent enough to go to a museum with you and stupid enough to make fun of it then. Just tell him, goddamn.

“Do you want to come inside?”, yasu suddenly broke the silence. “And just so there is no misunderstanding – for now I’m only talking about the apartment.”

Ka-yu snorted and shook his head.

Right. In the end, it was always just yasu. His best friend. The person he knew for ages. He had just gotten confused, because he was so handsome and standing so close and because it had been very long since the last time he had actually had physical contact with another human being.

It was someone else he liked at the moment. Someone who did not make fun of modern art and who read foreign books. Someone who had the best things in common with yasu, but not his worst.

He thought of the sensual messages he had sent during the last week and felt guilty for falling for yasu’s charms so easily. He had not promised anything yet, but it was pretty clear they were heading into a good direction. He did not want to risk that for an idiot, a friend, and moreover a colleague.

“Yasu, I have met someone”, he said all of a sudden.

He did not know why he was blurting out those words now, but it felt right to tell him. Best friends, and all.

“Online. Someone I like. I was embarrassed to tell you because it’s the internet, but I really do like that person. So, you should know as my best friend.”

He had added the last sentence to make absolutely sure yasu did not assume he was telling him that now because for a brief moment he had wanted to kiss him.

“Oh”, the vocalist said, a small frown showing on his forehead. “Oh, that’s good, ka-yu. I’m happy for you. Is it serious yet?”

Ka-yu shrugged.

He had the feeling that yasu’s voice had gotten somewhat lower as if he was trying hard to keep it in check.

“I hope so”, ka-yu admitted. “How about you? You were on the phone with someone last week.”

Yasu pushed open the door to his apartment, ready to step inside.

“There is no one”, he said almost harshly.

Ka-yu noticed that he did not ask again if maybe he wanted to come in.

So, he just waved yasu good-bye awkwardly and went back down the staircase.

He hadn’t even left the building as his mobile buzzed violently several times.

Do you want to meet?

On Friday?

I think I’m ready now.

I really want to meet you.

Would that be alright with you?

Please.

Ka-yu stared at the messages that had obviously been sent hurriedly.

Is that really okay?, he assured.

Yes. I’m sure about it.

Ka-yu hesitated.

Was it alright? Or was it too soon to reveal his identity to a stranger?

But then he was probably overestimating himself. Probably that guy had never heard of his band anyway. And he had made his decision on yasu’s doorstep just now. He wanted to give it a try. He was ready to trust this guy because he wanted it to work out.

Okay. Friday is fine. Where do you want to go? A public space?

Rather not, the reply said. I’d prefer to meet where no one will recognize me. Can we just meet at a hotel room? We can order food and have dinner there. And sex, if all goes well xD

Ka-yu swallowed hard.

That was going really fast. And a hotel was always somewhat risky.

But then again, their conversations had been very sexual from the very beginning. Sex was an important part in this. And thinking of the other’s butt, it was also a part that ka-yu was really looking forward to.

His stomach twisted with excitement.

Alright, he typed. Name time and address and I’ll be there.

***

Tomorrow was Friday. Tomorrow was the day.

Ka-yu was nervous.

There was so much that could go wrong when he desperately wanted it to go right.

He wanted to talk to someone but calling yasu to whine about his date didn’t seem like a good idea. He still hadn’t told him that his special someone was a man. Things were a little weird between them since he had left his place yesterday anyway.

His phone buzzed.

Ka-yu checked his messages immediately.

It was possible the other one had changed his mind. That their date was cancelled and ka-yu was worrying all for nothing.

I’m a bit scared of tomorrow, it said.

Ka-yu inhaled deeply.

He wasn’t used to talk about such things openly but that was probably a benefit of chatting online. It was so much easier to confess your feelings when not looking at each other.

I’m nervous, too, he admitted. It might be weird to meet in real life.

The reply came so fast the other one seemed to be online as well.

Yes. I’m scared you turn out to be some creepy old man xD Are you worried I’m unattractive, too? Honestly?

Honestly. Well, honestly, he was worried about that, too. During their dirty chats he had always imagined a hot guy, but he couldn’t know for sure.

A bit, he owned up. Of course, it’s also about character, but there has to be some physical attraction, too, right? But I can promise you that I didn’t lie about my looks. I can’t guarantee I’ll be totally your type, but I’m not an old creep!

Good then. I’m also a bit worried you’ll be disappointed by my looks, though. I’m not unattractive I think, but maybe you’re expecting too much? You must be hoping for a very hot guy, but I’m really just average.

Average would be fine with ka-yu, too. He had a great butt and talking to him was fun. It would be alright if he wasn’t absolutely gorgeous, he just hoped he would be reasonable good-looking.

I try to keep my expectations low, he joked. No pressure. Also, I’m worried that we won’t have anything to talk about and that there will be awkward silence.

The chat stayed silent for a moment, too.

You mean – you are worried we will be too awkward to have sex, although we both want to?

Although admitting it wasn’t easy, that was pretty much exactly what ka-yu was worried about it.

We don’t have to do it at our first meeting of course, he wrote. But we agreed that we are both looking for sex mostly and a partner maybe, right? But it might be difficult to get started with a stranger. I’ve never done this before, so I don’t know.

I’ve also never met with someone I didn’t know for sex yet, the other one confessed. So, I’m a bit nervous about that part as well. But let’s just agree not to get weird about it, okay? I promise that – if you look anything like you told me and if you find me pleasing, too – I will go down on you without hesitation to break the ice.

Ka-yu laughed, but at the same time started to grow a bit hard.

The thought of a stranger doing that just because ka-yu wanted him to, was pretty exciting.

To break the ice?, he assured.

Yes. I don’t want this to end with a weird atmosphere where no one takes the first step because we are worried it’s going too fast for the other one. And then we both go home still horny because of misread signals. You are nervous because you don’t know what to expect of tomorrow. But since you said you didn’t lie about your looks you know what to expect now. Just say the word and I’ll give you head tomorrow. It’s a promise.

Ka-yu smiled.

He wasn’t sure if this was how it would go, but he already felt a lot calmer about their meeting. It was good to know that the other one worried about exactly the same things as ka-yu did.

It’s a promise, he repeated.

***

Standing in the elevator that took him up to the third floor of the hotel, ka-yu checked his messages again.

I got here early, the last one had said. So, I just took a shower. Now, I’m waiting for you and I’m wearing nothing but a bathrobe. My body is so ready for you, please hurry.

Deeply ka-yu inhaled to calm himself down. He could already see the door with the room number he was looking for.

I’m there now, he typed.

At the same time, he kept wondering why the other one had been worried they would have to break the ice. His last message didn’t really sound like he was hesitant about anything.

Ka-yu stood in front of the door.

His mobile buzzed.

Good luck.

He smirked.

He hoped he would be lucky, too.

Firmly he knocked his knuckles against the wooden door. He wore his toughest leather jacket and his favourite perfume. Hopefully, it would be worth it.

Please, be hot, he thought. Also, please, find me hot as well.

A few more seconds passed, then the door was opened from the inside.

The guy standing in the doorway was hot. And he was indeed wearing nothing but a white, fluffy bathrobe with the logo of the hotel on it. His long hair was falling down over his shoulders, the tips still slightly wet from the shower.

In fact, he was so sexy that ka-yu was absolutely sure – had he been a stranger - he would have pushed him up against the wall and kissed him without further introduction.

He was, however, not a stranger.

“Fuck, yasu”, he swore softly.

Something inside his chest felt very cold with shock and very warm with relieve. He wasn’t as surprised as he would have expected, though. But maybe that was the whole point. A tiny part of him down at his guts had suspected this.

The hotel room. The museum. The age. The similar situation their “professions” had put them into.

“Ka-yu”, yasu stuttered and took a step backwards.

His full pink lips stood slightly open and he stared at him in confusion. Not only confusion, ka-yu noted. For a moment, he looked almost scared.

Obviously, he had not suspected this at all.

“What … what does that mean?”, the vocalist asked. “Was that … was that all just a hoax?”

Ka-yu shook his head violently.

“No, yasu, no”, he said.

It was almost painful to realize that yasu was thinking that. That he looked scared and hurt for a moment, because he thought his best friend had played a mean trick on him.

“But you knew I was looking for someone. Did you find me and tell me the things I wanted to hear? Are you going to make fun of me now for … for the things I wrote and …”

He broke off. His words were angry, but his voice wasn’t. He had never heard yasu that vulnerable.

“Can I come in?”, ka-yu asked softly.

Yasu was still blocking the entrance by standing in the way, but now he stepped aside, allowing ka-yu to walk in and take off his shoes.

“I did not know it was you”, ka-yu said. “I swear.”

He looked around the hotel room.

There was only the bed to sit on, which felt a bit awkward, but still better than standing around. He went over and sat down on the mattress.

After a short hesitation, yasu sat down next to him.

“But it was a gay site”, he mumbled.

Ka-yu gathered up his courage. He didn’t gather a lot, but it wasn’t much of a revelation now anyway.

“Yasu, I need to tell you something”, he breathed out, staring down onto his own hands. “I’m bisexual. And I know … I know since forever basically. I was actually trying to meet a guy. I noticed some similarities, but … but a lot of stuff didn’t match up as well. I really thought it wasn’t you.”

He looked up again.

Yasu was rubbing his palm over his forehead as if trying to get something into his head physically. It almost looked funny.

“You never told me. Why did you never tell me? I think you were the first person I told.”

Ka-yu wasn’t used to see yasu like this. He was always cheerful and energetic. He wasn’t small and sad. It made him feel entirely helpless.

“I was scared somehow. You would have joked about it. Joked about you and me, flirted and … I don’t know. It was confusing enough. I didn’t want it to get even more confusing.”

Yasu gave a quiet sigh.

He was looking anywhere but at ka-yu.

“When we met at the museum, I thought … but I thought you couldn’t be that cruel.”

“I wasn’t meaning to be cruel”, ka-yu said hastily.

“And I wasn’t meaning to give you the feeling I couldn’t be serious about something”, yasu said.

For a moment it was silent between them.

“You are not average, by the way”, ka-yu stated after a while.

“What?”

Finally, yasu did look up, eyeing ka-yu curiously and only a little insecure now.

“About your looks. You said you were average. But you’re not. You are the hottest guy I know.”

Yasu gave him a weak smile, then he crawled onto the bed and lay down on his back.

“Let’s talk about something else”, he suggested.

Ka-yu lay down next to him, staring at the ceiling as well.

They both needed time to process this.

“You made yourself older”, yasu observed.

Ka-yu grinned.

“I did.”

Then he thought about what he wanted to know about the things yasu had told him.

“Did you really go out with one of our producers? Was that sugar daddy story about your first time true?”, he asked.

Next to him yasu chuckled.

Their arms were touching and he could feel the vibration of his body against it.

“No, it was with this guy I went out with for a while during our last year in high-school. You remember him? When we worked on Dearly that one dude – I don’t recall his name – we met him at the studio, he was producing someone else, actually asked me out, but I declined. He wasn’t my type.”

Ka-yu hadn’t known about that. About none of it. He wanted to ask another question, but yasu just went on:

“And your story? You told me you had your first time with … hold on.”

He burst out laughing so hard the whole bed seemed to shake underneath them.

Ka-yu buried his head in his hands.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have made that up.”

Yasu was still laughing.

Ka-yu was sure his cheeks were bright red by now.

“I’m really sorry”, he repeated.

Yasu calmed down a bit and rolled to his side.

He was looking at ka-yu now and his face was very close.

“I remember that night, you know”, he said. “We went home earlier than anyone else. I was so hyped, but then I just fell asleep in your bed. It was a good night. It was a good story.”

Ka-yu rolled to his side, too.

Yasu’s whole body was very close that way. He felt warm against him and he smelled hotel soap and perfume on his skin.

“You never told me you read so much. Or that you would like to write. Or that you actually care for museums.”

Yasu shrugged with only one shoulder. It still looked weird in his position.

“I don’t want to act like I’m an intellectual when I’m really just an idiot”, he pointed out.

Ka-yu place his hand on his waist. He was so close that it was almost impossible not to touch him. They were talking quietly and it felt very intimate. He tried to ignore how present yasu was, but his leg was resting against him in a fashion that made it almost impossible not to notice.

“It’s not about being intellectual. It’s about being honest about what you like. Why have you never told me you would like to do something other than music for example?”

Yasu shifted in his arms slightly. It was painfully arousing.

“I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. I made up this story concept for our album, you know. And I’m writing the lyrics anyway. So, I thought I would like to … I don’t know. I wrote the first chapters of the story, because I felt like it.”

“You could have told me”, ka-yu insisted. “I would have supported you. You are good at writing lyrics already.”

“I guess I was a little embarrassed.”

Ka-yu shook his head lightly.

“You are not as stupid as you pretend to be”, he said.

Yasu smiled.

“And you are not as smart as you like to think”, he shot back.

Ka-yu chuckled, because his friend knew him so well.

“You are right about that”, he admitted. “But I still think you are just choosing the easy way out. You try to lower people’s expectation so they don’t get disappointed. But would it be so bad to allow yourself to be just a little vulnerable?”

Yasu licked his lips. Ka-yu tried not to stare.

“And I don’t understand why you try to act so grown-up all the time. Is it so important what people think of you? For example, you always act so prudish, even I believed you! But you are so goddamn kinky.”

Ka-yu groaned. He did not want to think about all the things he had texted yasu.

“Not everyone has to know those things. I don’t go around telling my kinks to everybody”, he scolded.

Yasu chuckled again.

“I can’t believe you really didn’t realize it was me. No other man in Tokyo can be that much of a pervert.”

Ka-yu laughed as well, but still rolled his eyes.

“Well, you told me all those lies, so of course I didn’t realize. Why did you do that? Like, telling me you were on the phone with someone at the office. I thought you had met someone else.”

Now it was yasu who groaned.

“Did you really expect me to say: Hey, ka-yu, I was just masturbating on the toilet, because some random dude from the internet told me to?”

Ka-yu paused for a moment.

“Yes!”, he exclaimed then. “Since it’s you, I would not even have been surprised.”

Both of them started laughing again.

It felt so nice to laugh with yasu like that. And he was still very attractive. Ka-yu hadn’t yet thought about what all of this meant for his feelings towards him, though.

For another minute they just stayed silent.

“Is anyone going to mention that boner pressing against my thigh at some point?”, yasu finally asked.

Ka-yu made a face.

He felt slightly embarrassed, but not very much so. Yasu and him had been more honest with each other today than they had in years, it felt.

“I’m sorry. I was kind of expecting something else when I came here today”, he admitted.

Yasu paused.

“What were you expecting?”

Ka-yu snorted.

“Honestly? A blowjob, for starters.”

He expected yasu to laugh, but he didn’t this time.

The blonde hair was falling into his face and his eyes looked very warm.

“It’s not too late, you know”, he whispered. “You just have to say it. I made a promise, after all.”

Ka-yu scanned his expression for a hint that he was joking.

He found none.

And he realized that yasu was serious. He would do it, if he asked him to. Because he had promised and because he was a kinky pervert and because they were physically attracted to each other.

Things had changed now that it was yasu. They were best friends and they were working together and there was so much at risk.

But ka-yu felt the same rush that he had felt when sending him those messages before.

It was his decision. He was in control. There was a hot guy right next to him and he held total power over him. It turned him on and at the same time he wanted to see how far he could take it.

His excitement was louder than his voice of reason right now.

“Suck me”, he said.

He watched yasu closely for a reaction and noticed his eyes widening for a fraction. It was a mixture of surprise and excitement he saw on his face.

“Yes”, he whispered back.

Then he sat up, kneeling down on the bed next to ka-yu. He rolled onto his back again and observed yasu reaching out to unbuckle his belt.

His fingers were already brushing against his crotch lightly and it made ka-yu inhale sharply. He unbuttoned his pants now, his expression very focused.

“Hey, yasu, wait”, ka-yu said and took hold of his wrist to stop his motions.

He sat up as well, reaching of the ribbon holding his bathrobe in place. Slowly, he untied it, pushing the fabric down over yasu’s shoulders, so now he was kneeling in front of him completely naked.

Yasu did not move while he undressed him but met his gaze without hesitation.

His body was beautiful and ka-yu felt even more turned on now.

He placed his hand on yasu’s neck and pulled him close, his fingers entangled in the long strands of hair. Their lips met and he kissed him slow and passionately, taking his time before shoving his tongue forward to explore the inside of yasu’s mouth.

The vocalist leaned against him, parting his lips obediently. He tasted sweet and clean and their kiss stretched out for a pretty long while.

Finally, ka-yu pulled back, giving yasu a short smile, before leaning back into the pillows again.

Yasu kept sitting still, eyeing him patiently as if waiting for orders.

“Go on”, ka-yu said, gesturing down to his open pants.

Yasu bend over again, pulling down ka-yu’s short and freeing his erection. Ka-yu moaned quietly as yasu’s hand took hold of his boner and he leaned down even more.

A curtain of blonde hair fell across his face, the muscles at his back shifting as he moved and the line of his back ending at the perfect curve of his butt.

Ka-yu had never seen him like this and he was just beautiful.

Then he felt yasu’s hot lips on the tip of his dick, making him twitch and moan. His grip was still firm as he started sucking, licking the head of his boner and taking it into the heat of his mouth. He circled it with his tongue, teasing him until ka-yu swore softly under his breath.

Then he started to move his head up and down, his hand following the motions and stroking the shaft his lips left behind wet with drool.

Ka-yu reached out. Yasu was kneeling by his side and he stroked over his shoulder and down his back. As if in reaction to the touch yasu moved his head a bit faster.

Ka-yu’s hand had now reached his butt. He caressed it gently, his middle finger found yasu’s hole, rubbing against it gently. As a result, he could see yasu’s whole body shiver lightly. His head went back up and he gasped loudly as ka-yu pushed his first finger into him. His insides felt hot and tight around him.

“Ssh, keep going”, he murmured and yasu lowered his head again.

He took the tip of his dick back into his mouth and sucked on it, while his hand went up and down the shaft.

Ka-yu gave a pleased moan and added a second finger. Since yasu was a bit far away, he couldn’t push them in all the way, but it was enough to curl them up and spread them a bit to stretch him.

Yasu moaned around his dick; he could feel the vibration of his voice clearly.

“Good”, he complimented. “But take it in deeper now.”

Yasu’s hand let go of his erection; instead he bent his head down farther, taking more and more of it into his mouth until ka-yu could feel himself pushing against the back of his throat.

He groaned loudly as yasu repeated that motion a couple of times.

Then he stopped fingering him, using his hand to push back yasu’s hair instead. He held it between his fingers in a loose ponytail, using it to guide his head a little and watch his cheeks going hollow and his eyelids fluttering now and then.

“Ah, you’re so good at this”, he moaned. “I’m coming. Do your best and swallow.”

He pushed yasu down again and moaned as he allowed the orgasm to wash over him. A warm feeling flooded him and he felt yasu trying to gulp down around him and heard him gag quietly.

After it was over he let go of him, allowing the vocalist to sit up.

Yasu straightened himself but remained on his knees.

Ka-yu expected him to say something goofy now or at least grin at him widely. But instead he just wiped off some drool from his chin and looked at him expectantly. His eyelids seemed heavy and ka-yu had left his hair behind tousled. His lips looked a bit swollen and his expression was pleading.

Ka-yu did his best to catch his breath, then he got up from the bed.

Yasu followed him with his eyes as he took off his shirt, but he did not move. Ka-yu’s pants were still open and he was thankful for it because he was already growing hard again.

“Get on your back”, he ordered flatly.

Without hesitation yasu lay down on his back in the middle of the bed. His dick was pressing hard against his stomach. Without needing instructions, he pulled up his legs to give ka-yu access to his butt.

But instead of getting on the bed on top of him, ka-yu grabbed the back of his knees, pulling him towards the edge of the bed so violently that he almost fell down.

Yasu gave a squeal of protest, but ka-yu was already between his legs. He guided his dick towards his loosened-up entrance, so its head was pushing against it demandingly.

He could see yasu’s chest heaving rapidly, obviously excited by his sudden roughness. He gave the slightest nod and then a high whimper as ka-yu sank into him in a single go. Instead of giving him time to adjust, he started thrusting into him immediately.

Underneath him yasu squirmed and gasped for air. His fingers were digging into ka-yu’s shoulder blade as he tried to hold on to him. His body was squeezing him tightly, his voice filling the room. Ka-yu loved that voice, loved how raspy it sounded around the edges just now.

He shoved forward hard, drawing another loud outcry from him.

“There, yes”, yasu begged.

Ka-yu watched the way he squinted his eyes, the way he pulled back his lips when he gasped. He knew this face very well, but he had never seen it like this. He wanted to know desperately what different expressions he could put on it.

Violently, he grabbed yasu’s leg, bending it even further. He leaned down on him, changing his angle to allow his dick to go in even deeper.

Yasu squealed again, his body shivering underneath ka-yu as he moved his hips against him.

“You really love this, don’t you?”, he teased, thrusting into him fast and hard.

Yasu moaned, too breathless to answer clearly.

Ka-yu slapped his hand against the back of his thigh harshly. Yasu winced and tightened around him.

Ka-yu swore and pulled back, the heat and lust growing too strong to keep them under control. He spilled himself with a gasp, holding his position for a moment, before straightening himself again. White cum was dripping down between yasu’s butt-cheeks and he tried to roll to his side, but ka-yu stop him.

He grabbed his leg once more, pressing against the inside of his knee to keep his legs spread.

Yasu gave a low whine. He sounded exhausted and maybe embarrassed to keep exposing himself to ka-yu. His dick was still towering up hard and ka-yu took hold of it now.

He stroked it fiercely, watching yasu twitch and shiver, trying to close his legs again. But ka-yu didn’t let go, not giving him a break to catch his breath.

“Ka-yu, please, stop. I can’t …”

But his voice broke off with a gasp. Ka-yu kept stroking his dick as he came under his fingers, sperm sticking to his chest and stomach.

“See, you didn’t need a break”, ka-yu observed with a grin.

Then he let go of yasu, allowing him to finally lower his legs and catch his breath.

He himself felt pretty exhausted, so he lay down again, watching yasu who now ran his fingers through his hair.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck”, he mumbled several times, before he managed to sit up and turn towards ka-yu.

“You bastard”, he exclaimed.

Ka-yu chuckled.

“How did you keep that from me for so long? You are an animal!”

Ka-yu managed to shake his head while still laughing.

“You weren’t bad, either”, he said.

Now yasu started to laugh, too, eyeing ka-yu as if he was seeing him for the first time.

“It was really good, wasn’t it?”, he confirmed, sounding a little surprised.

“Yeah, it was”, he agreed.

Ka-yu was a little surprised as well.

He had always known that yasu was kinky – he didn’t exactly keep it a secret. But he hadn’t thought that it would work like that between them. He had thought he could only let himself go with a stranger and that with yasu there would be too much … memory involved. He had thought yasu would joke around if it ever came to this, tease him like he always did and not take him seriously. But he had been perfectly submissive, letting ka-yu take the lead. He had been exactly what he was looking for.

“Guess I was right about this internet thing”, yasu joked now. “In the end, it did get us laid.”

“We could have had that easier, I think”, ka-yu laughed.

Yasu shrugged.

“Yeah, next time you want to have sex, just give me a call. It will save us lots of trouble.”

He got up from the bed, walking over to where he had left his clothes.

Ka-yu tried not to laugh at the way he walked.

“Hey, where do you think you are going?”, he called out.

Yasu turned around, giving him that grin he knew all too well. It was the grin that meant he was closing down on ka-yu again.

“I think we’re finished here. Twice, in your case.”

Ka-yu sighed.

“No, you’re being a dork and trying to run away from me. Now, come back to bed.”

Yasu kept standing where he was, looking at him as if considering something.

“Come here, yasunori”, ka-yu repeated more tenderly.

He could see the tension vanishing from yasu’s body as he walked back to the bed and crawled onto the sheets next to him. Ka-yu wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close.

“Good”, he whispered. “Don’t be scared to be vulnerable around me. Also, you look ridiculous when you walk right now.”

Yasu boxed lightly against his chest.

“And whose fault is that, idiot?”

Ka-yu chuckled and yasu buried his face against his neck for a moment. He loved the smell of his hair and the feeling of holding him like that.

“Do you think this was a mistake?”, ka-yu asked.

Yasu rested his cheek on his shoulder now, cuddled up to him lazily.

“Because you are my best friend and we are working together? Yes, I think it probably was.”

Ka-yu kept running his thumb over yasu’s back. This moment felt tender, but like something that might not last.

“Are you scared?”, he asked.

It took a few seconds before yasu replied.

“Yes”, he said quietly. “I’m scared.”

“That it won’t work?”

Yasu exhaled. He could feel his breath tingle against his cheek.

“That I will get hurt. I’m not exactly the person you met online, ka-yu.”

Ka-yu thought about it for a moment.

He thought about the yasu he had known for ages already. The one that always made him laugh, that he could stay up with for the entire night to play games and with whom he ordered cheap take-away food. And he thought about the yasu he had only met about two weeks ago. The one that had meaningful talks about literature, that he could take to a fancy restaurant and that told him about his hopes and fears honestly. And suddenly it seemed reasonable that it was the same person.

“Yasu, please”, he said. “I was impressed by our deep talk about an exhibition none of us had seen yet. I’m a pretentious idiot. There is no pressure at all.”

Yasu giggled against him.

“I completely forgot about that”, he owned up.

“What I mean”, ka-yu carried on. “Is that I don’t want to be with that version of you. I don’t want to be with that 13-year-old you were either. We both changed and we are still changing. We can be smart sometimes. And sometimes we can be stupid. My point is, we grew up together. But I don’t want to stop now. I want to continue growing up with you.”

Yasu shuffled away a bit and propped himself up on his elbows, so he could look at ka-yu’s face directly. He was smiling slightly.

“How do you suggest we do that?”, he asked.

Ka-yu brushed back a strand of hair behind his ear. He had wanted to be tender with him like that for a long time already without quite realizing it.

“We will be honest with each other from now on. No more pretending. You are a gorgeous, smart idiot and I want to know everything about you.”

Yasu nodded slowly.

“Okay, so honestly. Do you want to be in a relationship with me, put up with my stupid jokes, comfort me when I’m sad and have a lot of kinky sex with me?”

“Yes, to the relationship, the jokes and the sadness”, ka-yu confirmed. “And hell yes, to the kinky sex.”

Yasu laughed and his teeth were all crooked and his face filled with wrinkles. Ka-yu wondered how he could have missed out on his feelings for him for even a second.

“Now you, honestly”, he said. “What is it you’re not telling me?”

Yasu looked up to him and there was a little hesitation behind his eyes. But then he obviously made a decision because his expression softened and his smile turned really warm.

“Honestly?”, he repeated. “I hoped it would be you.”

#fanfiction #acid black cherry #ka-yu #Janne Da Arc #yasu #fanfic

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