#the more i think about it the less healthy her relationship with Ondo seems

[firefly-factory]

Daedra, Divines, and Slowburns

Rambling because I just realized some things about Astra's two potential relationships.

Both slow burns, because they're mer and they have time. Undecided which one is endgame.

Revyn Sadri -

Of the two, he actually makes a lot more sense. He's warm and gentle and has gotten to know her over a long time, first through business transactions, then as friends, and only more recently as, just maybe, something more. He reminds her that there are good people worth defending in the world, that it is okay to be kind, and that she will always have a safe place to stay if she needs it.

After her mother's death, she became interested in daedric worship. She has felt alienated from her own people (the altmer) since her birth, and feels more comfortable amongst the dunmer, whose faith acknowledges the violence with which change can occur. Religion is one point where Astra and Revyn connect. Although he isn't particularly devout, he knows a lot about the daedra, and Astra is actually sort of relieved to find someone who isn't fanatical about their religion

Ondolemar -

Speaking of fanatical. Ondolemar isn't 100% sure what he believes. But you'd never be able to tell from talking to him. The first time Astra heard him speak about the Divines, she was honestly sort of disturbed. It was like a switch was flipped- his eyes lit up, his tone became more regular and rhythmic, almost like he was reading from a script. She had seen that sort of switch before, whenever he father would echo Thalmor rhetoric, and it had disturbed her too.

But she can't look away. And when he isn't echoing dogma, he's actually surprisingly sweet. He introduces her to other altmer, finally giving her a chance to connect with the heritage she's been alienated from for so long. He answers her questions about Alinor, and tells her about what her father was like before his self-imposed exile to Winterhold.

For a long time, her most secret, stupid desire had been to connect to her people. Even after a Thalmor agent tried to execute her, 20 years prior, she had still wondered what it would be like to be part of that world. And Ondolemar gives her that.

I guess the problem in choosing one or the other, ondolemar or Revyn, is this:

It means that she has to choose between her two identities- Revyn understands the person she has become. Ondolemar gives her a way to be the person she always secretly wanted to be.