#the more i think about how the internet and interacting with people with similar interests had affected me the more thankful i am that im

[emperornero]

if we are mutuals and think we would get along or you just want to send me posts or whatever you can always message me or send an ask whatever i love interacting with people who share interests with me. and please dont be intimidated or feel bad if you dont talk frequently i sometimes get messages from mutuals i havent talked with for a year and its awesome to see each other again this is what this place if for . if you sometimes reach out to me i love you thank you for being here

[shanastoryteller]

okay now that i've had some coffee, let's chat

specifically, about how you act on the internet is a blueprint on how other people will treat you and how this intersects with the functionality of anon asks

if you've followed me for any significant amount of time, none of this will be anything i haven't said before, or i think be at all surprising to the rest of you, but i guess it bears repeating

so let's repeat: how you act on the internet is a guidebook on how other people will interact with you

like invites like. if you talk about a topic, you're going to get more commentary on that topic. this is because you're demonstrating that this topic is something you're comfortable talking about because you are talking about it

if you respond one way to something, people are going to reasonably assume you will respond the same way to them if they send you something similar. if someone asks for advice and you give it, people are going to think you're comfortable giving out advice and that asking for advice is an appropriate way to interact with you. if someone asks for information and resources and you provide them, people are going to think it's appropriate and acceptable to ask you for information and resources

i've seen this come up with other people before, where they do one thing and get frustrated and upset when that generates more of that thing. but people are just following your lead

now, anon asks

the function of anon asks is that the only way to reply to them is to respond to them publicly. you cannot privately reply to an anon

this means that every anon ask answered tells people how to interact with you. it is not and cannot be treated the same as a 1 on 1 conversation. it doesn't matter if that's not intention or what the anon wants. it's the reality of the situation

i don't answer non-anon asks publicly, with rare exceptions like it's funny or i think my answer to them would be interesting to others and non-upsetting for the askee for me to share (there are times i've given things like writing advice or commentary that i've thought might be interesting to the rest of you, but the askee had something in their original ask that i though they potentially wouldn't appreciate being immortalized on my blog)

if there's ever anything that someone doesn't want me to answer publicly no matter what, they can ensure this by just including it in their ask. even if i was inclined to be a hypocrite and ignore how people want to be interacted with (i am not) i am obviously not going to post it publicly if you ask me not to because then everyone would see me do that and think, rightfully, that i'm a huge jerk

when someone is rude or critical of me on anon, they're putting me in an unfair position. i can either not answer them or i have to turn their answer into a public performance, consumable by everyone. there is no other option

the vast majority of people use anon to say something kind or neutral where my public and private response would be basically identical and that's not what this is about. if i had an issue with anon asks in general, i wouldn't have them on

by sending criticism on anon, they're protecting themselves by not having any of their opinions or thoughts associated with them. nothing they say is connected to them and they're free of any consequences of their actions. in contrast, if i respond, my only option is to respond publicly. which means not only is my response attached to me and my name, but it has to be publicly consumable, i have to open myself up to the thoughts and commentary of everyone else if i'm going to reply

that means, before we get into anything the anon is saying, they're demonstrating both that they're a coward and they don't care about my comfort or my privacy - something they obviously highly prioritize for themselves

if that's the premise, why would i take kindly to anything they have to say after that, no matter what it is?

additionally, if i respond kindly and measured to these types of asks, that tells other people that it's an acceptable way to interact with me

it is not

if this ask had been sent off anon, my response would have been: "glad you enjoyed the story. feel free to toss any typos you notice into a comment (easiest way for me to keep track) and i'll correct them when i have a chance"

when it's just me talking to another person, i can choose to ignore or gloss over any awkwardness or mild rudeness because it's not going to come back to bite me. it's not a performance or a guidebook on how others will treat me. it's just you and me talking

but because it's anon, i have to keep in mind that i'm not just talking to them - i'm talking to everyone else too. so i have to establish that: i'm not interested in a beta, but am more than happy to correct typos; i don't care to hear about about how my typos personally upset you; and, in this case, that this is the type of message i don't want to receive on anon

because if i don't make it clear what i don't want, i'm going to receive more of it. that's simply a neutral fact of how people and the internet work

the more considerate you are of me, the more considerate of you i'm going to be in return

tldr: if you want a response meant just for you, you have to ask in a way that i can respond only to you. which isn't an anon ask. them's the breaks

[communistkenobi]

Why are people who are so gung-ho about media morality on here also so incredibly inconsistent about it on here? It’s like ‘hey don’t even *mention* xyz game or show or whatever but several of my main interests are things that are even more egregious’. I’m not a fan of anything with that rep in the first place but it’s always been really silly to me.

Because I don’t think it’s a position that is reached systematically or scientifically (I think this is true of a lot of positions people hold - again I’m including myself in this). It’s hard to systematically figure out what your principles are. Nevermind the fact that there are irreconcilable contradictions embedded within these principles. But that aspect is less interesting to me, because I suspect that it’s not actually about the show/movie/actor/etc at all a lot of the time, but rather that mass media provides a set of common and mutually intelligible terms and modes of understanding for people to interact with strangers on the internet. 

This is going to sound like an insane tangent but I promise it’s relevant lol: I had to read Benedict Anderson’s Imagined Communities for a course recently where he talks about the emergence of national consciousness and identity in Europe through the invention of the printing press. The production of texts meant to be read by many people is much easier to achieve when language is standardised (this is prior to mass standard education), and so to print something “in German” requires a social agreement about what the German language “is,” something he argues wasn’t really a thing in Europe prior to this point in history. So while many people across vast distances may speak many different local dialects that are all roughly ‘German,’ they now all read a singular, standardised “German language.” Anderson argues that this produces an experience of ‘simultaneous time’ across space, where you now feel a sudden connection to anyone who also “reads German” despite them being complete strangers and people whom you will never meet. This is part of his argument of how national consciousness gets cultivated, and allows people to articulate a common identity and set of goals with others whom they share no other bond with (Anderson’s definition of nationalism being “an imagined political community” - imagined in the sense of socially constructed and produced, not as in fake).

And I’m talking about this because I think a similar thing is happening here, but re: mass media. I use the term ‘mass’ media in the sense that it is consumed by mass amounts of people through industrialised telecommunications technology such as internet, television, and radio (and we can include celebrities as mass media here for the sake of convenience). And the internet is an interesting place because you are constantly interacting with an incomprehensibly large volume of strangers, and often these interactions are not in your control (harassment, people ‘barging into’ your mentions or replies, people lurking your blog, etc). In order for this to not be completely overwhelming, even in a relatively niche space like “fandom,” you need some shared set of terms to navigate around.

I think this is what leads to the emergence of the terminology of “pro vs anti,” a universal set of discursive terms that cuts across all of fandom space that allows you to position yourself in relation to a large amount of people you don’t know. It acts as a sorting and filtering mechanism (“proshippers DNI”), it acts as a declaration of belief that can be intelligible to many other people (“fiction affects reality” - an objectively vacuous phrase that is nonetheless freighted with a lot of social meaning to anyone within fandom), and it allows you to “engage in fandom” broadly as an online social terrain, allowing you to move from one fandom to another yet retain common terminology to communicate with others. Everyone knows that each fandom has their own set of ‘local’ community terms, which takes time and energy to learn and requires you to likewise learn the social stakes of each of those terms. Sorry to bring up Supernatural but as an example, you can read someone’s entire orientation towards the show based on whether they spell Castiel’s name as “Cas” (destiel shipper) or “Cass” (wincestie/bronly/J2er) + all the attendant opinions that come with those positions. But that takes a long time to learn, and it’s hard, and it requires you to declare a lot of your own positions re: the local context of a given show or video game, but the pro vs anti divide is universal and therefore extremely helpful in social navigation.

So, much like pro vs anti, I think when people say “DNI if you like irredeemable media” and then you go on their blog and they’re like, shipping South Park characters together, I think staking these moral positions re: mass media has less to do with any deeper principled convictions regarding the moral impact of art or how one should relate to it, but rather that you are engaging in a common discursive terrain that allows you to navigate a basically infinite sea of strangers in order to rapidly locate a common community of people. Again Harry Potter is instructive here - it was popular for a while for terfs to put Hogwarts Houses in their bio, particularly if they are crypto terfs. The ‘common terrain’ of transphobia in online spaces being used here is mass media - if I say Potterheads DNI on my Homestuck blog, I’m not really staking my position on the moral consumption of media, I’m signalling my political allegiances via the common language of mass media. This is perhaps why these stakes are so bafflingly inconsistent, because mass media is serving as a proxy for articulating political positions (which can likewise be inconsistent) as a result of the fact that they are much easier shorthands to communicate belief than outright stating your ideological commitments. Nobody knows what neoliberal means, or socialism means, or white supremacy or cissexualism or capitalism or imperialism or blah blah blah, because these are not part of the common terminology of fandom spaces, so declaring your positions using these terms will not get you very far. but people know that Harry Potter = transphobia, so potterheads dni! 

[bunybunn]

Alright the drama continues and somehow it got worse. I'm glad I found a transcript of Dream's video on twitter (by @/NORsevvy here it is if anyone wants to read it) and I want to annalise it a little because I can.

Let's start with the part where he apologised for r-word and if you think about if he did that right after he posted that stupid meme we wouldn't have this drama but that wouldn't be his style.

What icked me immediately what the way he used Tubbo's stream as if through all of it he was agreeing with Dream. Especially since Tubbo actually shared very similar sentiment to Tommy when he talk about how, sure he does agree with the dumb jokes their friends group makes but he still stands by them. Besides using Tubbo as a gotcha didn't sit right with me because let's be honest as much as he is one of Tommy's best mates so is Jack and that guy wasn't as nice when it came to Dream.

After that Dreams moves to Tommy talking about Dream and his friend group being sexist and immediately he skips over the context, which in this case was the George situation and no matter how you saw it they way they talk about the situation by immediately downplaying the accusations didn't make them look good. To add to the irony we learned thanks to Ludwig that, yeah actually Dream did called two different women "whore" and only defended (and not apologise mind you) himself about one of those.

Something that I found interesting is how Dream has tendency to got on the sarcastic rants about "what if there were bad rumours/jokes about you Tommy" as if that was actual genuine argument. All of this only to then to hold the fact Tommy interacted with Dream's friends after the accusations. All of this to then pull the Logan Paul messages to prove how insincere Tommy is... As if it wasn't a case of him losing respect to content creator he looked up.

Another funny bit in my personal opinion is how he showed clip of Tommy say Dream was holding his help over his head and Dream immediately proceeded to do just that by pointing out how they called for hours talking about YouTube with no exceptions(!!! 😮😮😮) and how Tommy at the age of 16 was grateful for it. He is trying very hard to make it seems like the good guy but just by looking at the way he puts is as arguments why Tommy couldn't criticise him or express how Dream made him feel back then very much is giving holding his kindness over other people's head. What makes it worse is the way he takes Tommy owning the fact that he was one of the people who were behind the success of the dream smp because he was the one who started the idea of making stream that have roleplay and plot. Having Dream use it as another gotcha to call Tommy egoistic for it was very dishonest.

Then you have the merch part of the argument and I will be so real there is no argument that wouldn't make selling yours baby photos to fans sound fucking weird. Funny enough Tommy never mentioned Dream's merch company scamming people he simply shared an opinion that he thinks Dream's merch designs are lazy. Additionally notice how Dream took Tommy's words out of context as he was comparing his work on writing a book, doing standup the legit way not relying on his internet popularity and making a proper podcast to Dream just putting out simple standard merch and using very weird ideas to make profits from it. Tommy has been growing and trying new things which yeah I would say are bit more impressive then making the exact same type of videos for years. Perhaps that's why Dream didn't like the video where Tommy was talking about how Internet in fact got worse because that's the Internet Dream is enjoying being stuck in.

Dream still not getting that massaging someone's mom is crossing a boundar despite being told that that's the case by more then one person feels so dishonest especially when he is framing it as if every one are unreasonable... He brought fucking c!Dream reference to prove it and one more clip of younger Tommy praising him as if that somehow made his point more valid.

All that to say that what Tommy felt about the way Dream treated him and how he acted was somehow not as valid as Dream using his response to do a very similar thing. There was a lot of me, me, me in Dream's video without even acknowledging that perhaps he was making other people dislike him with his own actions.

[canmom]

speaking of line rider, I decided to poke my head back into the Line Rider Review channel, which you may remember for going viral in 2017 with Rabid Squirrel's review of the top 10 tracks of the previous year on artistic grounds...

at the time, Line Rider was around ten years old; the baroque jargon and the complexity of the techniques really got people (in much the same way as pannenkoek's half a press video), so Squirrel ended up making a followup video on the jargon, a charming slice of "this person was definitely gonna transition" which serves as a good intro to what the scene was about back then...

since then there have been many developments: more complex musical sync, elaborate animation techniques, etc etc.; it's only grown. so what does line rider fandom look like in 2024?

well... everyone is trans now of course. it's gotten a lot more interested in political and emotional themes, too. the top video is an hour long feature about the author's partner's experience of figuring out they're plural, learning Japanese, as well as the grief of friends they've lost along the way, through the lens of line rider tracks they grew up with - and that's not just one person's thing either, a whooole lot of the tracks on this list are painfully sincere short film dioramas about trauma, dysphoria, abuse and similar topics. Not all of them mind - you've also got experiments that blend between line rider and stop motion, and a recreation of a classic Touhou video from the Chinese line rider scene on bilibili (there's a Chinese line rider scene on bilibili now), but it's very clear how much the taste of this subculture has shifted. I don't mean this to be too cynical - while it's easy to be a bit 'ehh' at the activist-speak of the channel, these videos are incredibly sincere and (sigh, yes, i know it's a cliche) heartfelt expressions.

i think the fascinating thing to me is that all that technical stuff in Line Rider hasn't gone away - you're still doing crazy complicated shit to fling Bosh around the screen, stop and start them, take them on and off the sled, interact with other riders, stage frame by frame animation, etc. Everything is still meticulously synced to music. But now this passes without comment for the most part! That's just the toolbox! Just as reviews of music rarely go into the specific music theory tools - chords, scales, etc. - unless they're aimed at teaching or analysing it for musicians. Line Rider videos have in a sense matured into a whole medium.

It's definitely a fascinating illustration of the ways Being Very Autistic On The Internet is changing. godspeed you guys.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

tw for very very brief mentions of rape and incest and other taboo subject matter - only brought up for discussion.

i feel like it is kind of beating a dead horse when i bring up the relationship between fiction, reality, and the exploration of dark/taboo. given the nature of my blog and the change it's made over time—it's brought up repeatedly many times and in many context in which im forced to defend.

outside of that though, i have never really taken a moment to thoroughly break down the reason (or one of them) i find the it important which is the idea of fictional exploration as a sort of third space of processing and development.

there are many arguments surrounding the exploration of taboo relationships, ideas, and incidents in fiction built on the basis of morals. our greater, societal infrastructure relies on the idea of morality to justify any and all material violence. whether that violence be physical harm, systemic injustice, or psychological / verbal abuse etc.

there's a quote by frank bidart that goes "you can convince human beings to do anything if you convince them it is moral" that i think of often when we debate about what is moral and why. all people are equally capable of committing great material harm to other people if they are under the impression they are in the moral right.

so you examine morality as a mechanism for forming social contracts. it is largely debated whether or not morality is subjective or objective - but regardless of either thing, it is a fundamental part of creating a social circle. big or small.

human beings are also naturally social creatures. we want the approval and attention of our peers and we want community. and it will cause us to act in ways, whether that be conscious or unconscious, that are unsavory. whether that be passivitiy to maintain the status quo or othering another person in order to gain social status or favor.

a lot of the people who are staunchly against any forms of taboo in the exploration of fiction are people engaging with this kind of social behavior. at the core of there reasoning, they are seeking solace with peers over a sense of moral superiority all while not contributing anything materially—except often the verbal abuse and harassment of the opposite party.

none of this is very novel for me to point out. there are also plenty of other things that contribute to why this kind of debate happens online so frequently, particularly a strong taboo towards any all sexual content stemming from old-school religious conservatism and other fascist ideas etc.

but i bring it up because of how it relates to my feelings about the concept of fiction as a sort of third space in the same way the internet is a sort of third space.

engaging in this kind of moral crusading online is done by people who are seeking out social spaces that connect them to other people. this is especially true online as the internet has become a third space for people to interact with others that share similar interest and views. they do this to have a space to reaffirm themselves and their morality.

most importantly, they do this because the internet is an easily accessible space to like-mindedness and self-assurance. it's unreliability is overshadowed by the fact that young people engaging in this kind of critique can get ahold of their peers easily this way. humans are social. they seek companionship and our real life third spaces have become more and more sparse over the years.

so, online spaces have become a place for people to process their social development and their emotions with their peers.

now there's an understanding—that people need a way to process their internal world, concepts and ideas somehow.

but there are social contracts that can't be broken in these online spaces. though they are meant to be an escape from the constraints of real life, you are still subject to scrutiny and at risk of becoming a bad actor that is shunned by their own online community and circle of friends.

on top of that, if human beings are capable of committing horrific acts of violence, they are just as capable and if not more, of experiencing that violence in their lives. this also requires processing similar to the normal, everyday social processing people do online.

this much is obvious, even to many people who oppose the idea that fiction doesn't equal reality. you'll often hear them utter words about seeking counseling / therapy underneath posts involving dark subject matter.

but then, there are social contracts of acceptability and palatability. and more, there is inaccessibility.

all human beings are subject to some form of violence or some other type of struggle. whether that be in their class, race, or sexuality - the average person has material conditions and complex emotions that can't be neatly resolved nor shared comfortably with their peers.

everyone needs space to air these aspects of themselves out healthily. you are automatically going to experience a specific amount of negativity in your life that requires an outlet and there is no real way to find a universal solution to answering those feelings. unresolved, it can lead to substance abuse or suicidal thoughts/

and there is no universal, easy to access place for people to unilaterally express and process their feelings and thoughts.

but there is writing fiction.

this, to me, is the one argument that i think is important to bring it up but rarely does. because there are many angles to approach this discourse and this is just one of them.

writing is also a kind of third space. a place to communicate that isn't home or work. a third space in to connect with and break down these emotions—somewhere that can be shared to find camaraderie. it can also be shielded to hide away from the scrutiny of your peers. it is a place where you can inadvertently process these great, overbearing emotions that is neutral and welcome to all.

and it's not that fiction can't cause harm at all. because it certainly can and has

but the very presence of taboo is not the sole cause of harm in what makes something fictional hurtful. propaganda and insensitive messaging and all the ways fiction can hurt people exist with in a predefined context and social climate. that kind of harm spreads through massive scales of government and print and makes its way onto shelves.

more than that, human beings have a sense of morality. it is agreed upon that rape, incest, violence and murder are materially harmful. in the misplaced desire for censorship, it seems people are attempting to affirm this by monitoring works of fiction that have this subject matter at all.

but in that monitoring, you are taking away what makes these kinds of spaces comfortable - which is a lack of hostility.

if you believe this to be the most optimum solution, i implore you to critically examine whether or not you think it morally correct to take away from someone the means to process their emotions. and if you believe still, that it's the best thing to do for all parties i next ask, how will you then make space for them? what space will replace this one?

what are the other solutions have the same level of access to all? can you implement a space for someone with no other healthy outlets, to vent and untangle and smooth out these feelings, without requiring the hypothetical labor of someone else? can you promise you will be able to provide something that offers a similar catharsis for the often deeply complicated feelings being addressed (whether that be directly or indirectly) through the presence of themes like incest, rape, or abuse? can you provide another alternative to the repetitive behaviors of trauma that insist on recreating / imagining these harms in a controlled environment over and over again?

to be clear, it is unnecessary and against my beliefs that you must have experience those things directly to write about them. in fact my point is the opposite.

the thematic concepts that come along with the taboos are the catharsis themselves. a person with a disconnected trauma about neglect or abandonment finding healing in the themes of incest about forbidden love or love that goes against all. a person with no trauma at all, who longs to be free from the daily life stresses of work may find catharsis in the writing of rape which strips autonomy and choice.

human beings are complicated. these examples may feel extreme to you. you are welcome to view them that way. that is your right.

but for other people it is a good solution, one of the best solutions - to strip down these desires bare and explore them where no one is being hurt. where they do not hurt themselves materially or anyone else. art is one of the few spaces you have for yourself. you can argue that distribution is the problem—but if you are able to identify when it is wrong, does your moral superiority extend so far as to believe that that's something only you can do?

and most importantly - are you prepared to take that space from them and provide other outlets? do you think it fair to prevent people from safely having access to something that you, yourself, depend on heavily for social and emotional affirmation?

are you willing to hold space for them when no one else can or no one else will?

[eternalwanderer-stories]

Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but still.

Many are afraid that the second season will not meet their expectations. It's logical that the authors won't follow what the fans want. I know the rules of this game well: you don't build any expectations – you don't end up with any disappointments. But despite this, I myself have two expectations – the interaction of Viktor and Jinx (seriously, Vi and Jayce got a whole scene with a cool soundtrack in the first season, and my beloved babygirl and my beloved boy did not get any scenes together, where is justice?) and scenes where Viktor would work on creating a Blitzcrank (I want it so much, you can't even imagine). But judging by the trailer that came out, I'm unlikely to get any of this.

But actually, more than all this, I'm afraid that the authors will just confirm some of the ideas of the fans. You know, those same ideas, similar to tropes from fanfiction like: Silco suddenly rises from the dead, Ekko begins to travel through time and in parallel universes because everyone eventually died and he tries to turn back time, Vander is actually the real father of Vi and Jinx and by the power of his daughters' love from Warwick turns back into human again, Victor resurrects Skye, and Jinx and Ekko arrange a lavish wedding in the end, everyone lived together and happily as one big family and all that sort of thing.

Is it cool in fan fiction? Yes, why not, that's what they're made for.

Is it cool in the show? I do not think so.

Arcane in the first season maintains a very good tone and a very good narrative atmosphere. It would be a shame if this tone suddenly changed unexpectedly in the second season.

I don't want Arcane to repeat Voltron's fate. Whoever was or is still in Voltron's fandom understands what I'm talking about. For those who do not know, I will tell you briefly: Voltron: Legendary Defender was released in 2016 and immediately fell in love with a huge number of people, receiving an unprecedented number of laudatory reviews. Cool characters, an interesting and well-developed plot, the series instantly became an audience favorite (it was not elevated to the rank of masterpieces, like Arcane, but it was very close to it). Almost everyone heard about him, talked about him, wrote about him, praised him. However, closer to the final season, everything changed. And then there was a leak (a familiar situation, right?) – footage of some plot twists from the final season has been leaked to the Internet. Not as big as Arcane's, but critical for those who didn't want to know in advance how it would end. Most of them, of course, refused to watch them. But there were also those who looked, and they instantly turned into those annoying people who whined all the time about how bad everything was going to be. And then the final season came out and it was very bad. A number of absolutely catastrophic decisions that the screenwriters made were more like it was written either in a drunken delirium, or the creators sat all night and read fan fiction on the Wattpad, drawing ideas from there. The characters' characters were strange, their actions were illogical, the whole narrative was madly in a hurry, on the contrary it was too long where it was not required, attention was not paid to really important storylines – simply put, there was no trace of the good early seasons, and the ending absolutely did not work as it should. Comparing the initial seasons and the final one, it was hard to imagine that this was the same series, it differed so much in quality (although, to be fair, there are many who accepted all this and liked it – no kidding, I'm glad for you, but I remember too vividly how much I was disappointed).

So, I don't want Arcane to go the same way. There is SO MUCH going on in the new trailer that the question comes to mind by itself – how can you adequately fit all this into 9 episodes? Maybe it's really just pointless and stupid worries, but the first season was so good that it's doubly scary now.

I don't want the story to suddenly turn into fanfiction in Wattpad.

(I remind you that this is a leak-free zone. Please, if you have watched the leaks, no need to spoiler in the comments or in reblogs).

[hanjicakes]

ᯓ tangerine_hyo93 ᡣ𐭩

synopsis .ᐟ - after an online argument, an unexpected friendship blossoms

content info .ᐟ - nonidol!yoongi x gender neutral!reader, yoongi is a rage baiter and little shit, reader stans le ssera and yoongi stans twice, enemies to friends, they both are chronically online

word count .ᐟ - 2.0k words

author ' s note .ᐟ - i wrote this in a day it's just something short and sweet for the kids DAMN!! i was busy with ap testing but summer is here and i'm READY.... also no hate to either groups mentioned i love both twice and le ssera so don't think I did this to express hatred towards them m'kayy?

my mastrlist ૮₍›ᆺ ‹ ₎ა

Being a K-pop fan was something you took particular pride in. You were loyal to your favorite group and always bought their new albums or defended them in Twitter arguments that wasted more time than they should. The walls of your room were covered in more posters than your roommate appreciates, but you never cared. You saw it more as a wall of appreciation— a patchwork of all the things that bring you joy and fill you with passion. 

You sit on your couch, wrapped up in an old blanket. It was well into the night and you didn’t have to work the next day, so you decided to go on a movie marathon. You lazily reach into your chip bowl to gather something to snack on, only to realize it was empty. Too tired to get up off the couch, you just frown and settle back into your position. Your eyes scan the screen and you quickly remember how boring you found this scene to be. The main character and her love interest are in another fight and you know it’s going to end the same way as the last one. Instead of paying attention, you reach for your cellphone and log onto Twitter. Just to pass the time.

You scroll mindlessly while reading tweets about upcoming comebacks, concert clips, and controversial opinions about if idols should sing live or not. You don’t really think about any of it until you find a post from a fancam account. Your favorite idol is performing at K-Con, singing their latest solo song. Automatically, you open the comments and begin to type out an overly affectionate message about how beautiful they look and how much they’ve improved. Just as you are about to press send, your eyes read over a comment from a day ago.

tangerine_hyo93: sounds similar to feel special. twice will always be the blueprint for these new groups lmao

What the hell? You squint slightly, making sure you’ve actually read that right. Is this person hard of hearing? This song sounds nothing like any Twice song. Your thumbs begin to move toward the backspace button to erase everything you originally wrote.

yxnjin_prtty: are you deaf or just dumb?? IJBOL those sound NOTHING alike just bcuz ur miserable doesnt mean that le ssera is so why dont you just crawl back into whatever hole you slithered out of??

You never really addressed hate comments. Those people were miserable, anyway. But, this specific comment irked you. Something about this person, how they said that the song was copied from Twice so casually, as if it were fact, upset you. Maybe you need to log off and touch some grass. The movie is probably getting good again.

Your phone buzzes just as you are about to reach for the remote. Tangerine_hyo93 replies already? Don’t they have a damn job? Well, it is 9 PM on a Friday, most people wouldn’t be working. Despite what your gut says, you open Twitter again. This is going to be a long night…

Two weeks later, you sat slouched in your usual cafe booth. Your left hand held the blueberry muffin you ordered while the other held on to your phone with the Twitter app open. Somehow, that one interaction during your weekend off had spiraled into some weird internet rivalry. Wherever you were, tangerine_hyo93 managed to be there, too.

tangerine_hyo93: these are the 4th gen leaders? kpop is ruined…

tangerine_hyo93: i thought id be kind and show you some real talent @ yxnjin_prtty

tangerine_hyo93: how are these girls still relevant? is anything they do original?

yxnjin_prtty: do you have a life outside of being obsessed with me and le ssera on twt? ur more of a fan than i am LMAO 

tangerine_hyo93: you’re right… their fans hate them enough lol

A huff of irritation leaves your lips and catches the attention of your friend sitting across from you. She furrows her brows while stirring her drink with a metal spoon. “What’s your problem? You’ve been acting like a wet cat all day.”

“This… Guy! He’s always replying to my comments and mocking me, it’s so stupid! This is Twitter and he acts like it’s his full time job!” You complain, letting out all the frustration that had built up over the past few weeks. You take a bite of your muffin as your friend speaks again.

“Well, you’re still replying to him. Just turn your damn phone off, dude. It’s just music, it isn’t that serious.”

“But it is!” You retort, “Le Sserafim doesn’t need any more obnoxious haters!”

“So, you feel like it’s your… Moral duty to defend these girls from some guy with a Twitter account? You’re too deep into this K-pop stuff…”

You grunt under breath as she points out how you aren’t being reasonable either. You chew silently, thinking over how to end this obnoxious behaviour.

Sitting at your desk, you stare at the Twitter webpage. You had to end this madness. It was going on three weeks— you had a life to live that didn’t involve checking Twitter replies every five minutes. With a hesitant click, you start a new DM.

yxnjin_prtty: hey, dude. this has to stop. I get we both bad each other mad abt our favs but like i have a job i need to do and this isnt working… cant we make some sort of peace treaty or smth??

Pressing send felt like a weight being taken off your shoulders. You weren’t sure why you didn’t do this before. You weren’t sure why you started this in the first place. You go to open a Youtube video while waiting for a reply. About half way through your video essay video, you hear the familiar bird chirp. You quickly switch tabs and read the response you got.

tangerine_hyo93: sure, i guess. i was just bored and you were easy to make mad lol

A faint sigh of relief leaves your lips as you accept the fact he is ready to quit, although you aren’t a fan of him finding you an easy target.

yxnjin_prtty: im not easy to make mad tf??

tangerine_hyo93: i just spent a month ragebaiting you lol. you’re very easy to make mad, it’s funny

yxnjin_prtty: right… so ur like a jihyo stan or smth??

tangerine_hyo93: was that not obvious?

yxnjin_prtty: no it was very obvious but i honestly like her solo album

tangerine_hyo93: yeah, it was peak

Over the next few weeks, you slowly warmed up to this annoying stranger. You found out his name was Yoongi, and he was a huge Twice stan. He admitted after a while that he didn’t even hate Le Sserafim, he just got a weird kick out of making people mad— something you would definitely need to get used to.

Turns out, the two of you actually liked a lot of the same groups and would often share funny memes or new songs with each other. You were open about being mutuals with him and would often tag each other in posts to defend your favs together. After two months of friendship, you actually asked him to meet you at your favourite cafe, but you quickly found out he actually lived in Korea. You didn’t let that fact deter you and you decided that meeting each other could definitely wait. Maybe you were rushing it. You hated his guts a few weeks ago, anyways.

The more time that would pass, the closer you would get with Yoongi. You had evolved past just Twitter mutuals and would actually contact each other with your real phone numbers (probably a bad idea, but high risk equals high reward.) Once a week, you Facetime and just talk about your weeks with each other, no K-pop involved. You learned more and more about him. He worked in IT and was actually pretty decent at the guitar. He was planning on saving up to fly to Los Angeles for Waterbomb with a few of his friends. The idea excited you a bit. You could easily drive to Los Angeles, well, not easily but it was definitely doable. 

“What?” He said, his voice muffled slightly from both the bad connection and the noodle he slurped in his mouth. “Why would you drive to LA? That’s not possible.”

“Oh, it is. There’s highways everywhere in America. It wouldn’t take more than a day or two.” You respond. The two of you were on call as you got ready for work. Time zones often made your interactions limited, but you quickly found out that his sleep schedule was non-existent. It makes sense how he was able to constantly reply to your comments.

“America is weird…” He grumbles.

“Yeah, but it works out well. I can buy tickets after work if you do? I need to plan my days off and get a hotel room…”

“I’ll… Talk to my friends.” He says, scraping the last few noodles into his mouth. He chews them slowly. “But, I’ll try and get a flight tonight, too, I guess.”

You glance towards the camera as you pump lotion into your hand. “You don’t sound excited for this, are you sure you still don’t secretly hate me?” You ask jokingly.

“Nah. I never hated you. Just liked getting a rise out of you.”

You don’t think you’ve ever been more embarrassed in your life. Not when you got that ridiculous haircut in middle school. Not when you showed up to a job interview in sweats and a stained t-shirt. Not even when you sneezed on your dentist when you couldn’t candle your appointment because of your cold. The California sun beats down on you and makes you sweat more than your nerves already do. Oddly enough, Yoongi told you to meet him by the port-a-potties.

You wave your electric fan in front of your face as you scan the faces in the moving crowds. Your lips press into a thin line while you reach into the back you brought with you— the same one covered in loud keychains and decorated photocards of Chaewon. Pulling out your phone, you go to text Yoongi to see if, maybe, he was almost there. Hopefully, he was just trying to park somewhere?

‘Hey, man, where r u?? it lowk stinks out here…’

You wait for a bit, but never get a response. You quietly turn off the device and slide it back in your bag. Your shoes are starting to get uncomfortable and you're starting to get irritated with the heat. You decide to scan the crowd one more time before going to the main stage. Almost immediately, your eyes land on him.

He glances around the park with a bit of a clueless expression. Wearing a plain white tee and a pair of jorts, he shifts closer to where you stand. Pushing away any lingering hesitation, you move towards him and grab his arm once in reach.

“Yoongi!”

He jumps slightly, pulling his arm out of your grasp. He looks at you with an upset expression but it quickly fades away as he recognizes you.

“What the hell… Do you normally go up and grab people like that?” He grumbles, his hand fidgeting with the plastic water bottle he brought with him. “Let’s go, it’s hot.”

“Wait, we have to take a photo…” You mutter, digging in your bag to pull out the small digital camera you brought in. He watches you try not to drop all the things you’ve stuck into your bag, which definitely is too small to hold everything.

You quickly move over to Yoongi’s side and wrap your arm over his shoulder, forcing him to crouch down slightly. Before he even gets time to adjust to the camera, you snap several photos and quickly send them over to your phone.

“I didn’t smile?” He mutters.

“I know. Doesn’t matter.” You say.

Later that night, after you and Yoongi bid your farewells for the day and returned to the hotels you stayed at, you logged into Twitter. With a faint smile gracing your lips, you type up a new post for Twitter.

yxnjin_prtty: met oomf today <3 enemies to lovers fr @ tangerine_hyo93

tangerine_hyo93: we are not lovers?

[stylerm2world]

Episode 7x5 was… boring. Once again, completely underwhelmed. I feel like the writing has taken a nosedive from seasons 1-3. Nolan and Bailey feel like caricatures and not real people. I feel like they are trying to make Celina, Seth and Miles similar to Lucy, Nolan and Jackson, but they have none of the same depth or chemistry. Why does Miles all of the sudden have a girlfriend when he has made moves on almost every girl he’s met? Just another example of the writing being so poor. I just imagine the writers sitting around going let’s give him a girlfriend with no acknowledgement of how he has been written prior to that moment.

Chenford, ugh! Make it make sense! They have left them hanging so long, I am apathetic at this point. Their emotional content or really their lack of emotional content for this many episodes is just so incredibly shitty. I am fully convinced Alexi did this on purpose because he hates shippers. Their interactions make no sense based on what happened last season. Their breakup made no sense emotionally either and it’s continued in this season. Which tells me, they are going to prolong them getting back together all season, if ever, or they are going to force them back together without it being earned. They have laid ZERO emotional groundwork for a reunification. There is no emotional growth on screen, especially from Tim. They are acting like colleagues. Tim has not even attempted to make a repair at all considering he destroyed their relationship in 60 seconds in a parking lot. Lucy, who could barely stand to be around him at the end of last season is fine with it all and asking him for advice. WTF? I know it’s a ship, but it was the one little spot I had in this dumpster fire of hell.

I see people hanging onto little moments and turning them into bigger things than I think we see on screen. I think people read interviews and add that to their character interpretations. I think little moments work when building a ship but not after you’ve obliterated it. Not only have you demolished the ship and completely regressed one of your characters, you choose to not let the characters have a cathartic conversation in order to let your audience figure out what to do with the end of the relationship. Also, this idea that he didn’t break up with her because he didn’t love her but because he hates himself is the biggest piece of bullshit. Please, for the love of God, stop making excuses for emotionally immature men, even if they are fictional. How you treat someone is just as, if not more important than how you feel about them.

This was Alexi’s big f*%# y&$* to shippers. It is cruel and purposeful. Just think about Grey’s comments about internet people.

Basically, Alexi ruined Castle and now he’s ruined this. Explains why I couldn’t get past the first episode of The Recruit. I used to love Nathan Fillion from as far back as One Life to Live, but Nolan is so sanctimonious and one dimensional he’s not interesting anymore.

Melissa O’Neill is the only reason I still watch.

I am gutted at what they have done to this couple I used to love. Tim isn’t even attractive to me anymore because his character is so awful now.

[pomefioredove]

reread the wiki so here's everything idia and my boyfriend have in common. for fun

(gonna put a ✩ by ones also relevant to me. for solidarity!!)

birthday near the end of the year, almost exactly a month apart

has a nice brother who he's very close with

gamer ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

likes sweets

dislikes fish/meat

autism/depression combo ✩

struggles with and dislikes socializing ✩

a little bit of a shut-in ✩

otaku ☆

pale, dark circles, had/has electric blue hair

self conscious about his looks (I think my bf is the most beautiful person ever but I digress)

similar sense of style. goth... emo esque? I remember when we were teens he used to say he dressed goth on wednesdays or something like that

cynical ✩

internetpilled ✩

knows things about computers/tech... (bf taught himself how to code, program, and make his own bots/video games methinks? which is really cool)

withdrawn, anxious in public, avoids interacting w other people ✩

self-deprecation ⋆˙⟡ ✩

VERY SMART!!!

he apologizes for rambling about his interests but I love it when he does,,, it's cute and he's genuinely one of the smartest people I know, especially when it comes to his passions

connection to greek mythology

uses gaming/otaku/internet jargon in his speech ✩

poor sleep schedule ✩

family nepotism. and he had a like/hate relationship with the job. not elaborating on that it's secret

is famous in his respective internet circle and has fans

loves kitties and ouppies (but can't stand dog people) ✩

GOOD AT DRAWING!!

big fan of an idol trio

cyberstalker (lore learner) ✩ and REALLY GOOD AT IT

very observant and thoughtful

association with the color blue

likes dark and cold places

there's more probably I'm just going down the wiki

is this a lot

[homestuckreplay]

If WV And PM Have No Fans I Must Be Dead

(page 1032-1039)

The mirroring of Jade (Prospit; dreaming) and Jade (Earth; robot) has been expanded to also mirror PM (Earth; years in the future) and PM??? (Prospit; now) with more identically-composed panels. It is actually a really smooth transition, and I do think that having time to sit between updates makes it easy to keep track of different versions of the same character, where and when they are, and how they can interact. I’ve seen in forum threads that some people have blasted through the first 1000 pages in a day as they discover the story which must feel like a very steep and confusing learning curve (even if it’s technically more accurate for representing the kids’ story, which for them is still a single day).

The imps in John’s house all look similar enough that this could be a fakeout, and this Prospit white chess piece is not PM, but they have the same build and eyes (see above from pages 723, 844 and 1033). Whether or not this is PM, I love their design. The blue/green stripes hippie two piece with matching hat feels like something I would see on a middle aged woman at a music festival who turns out to be the loveliest person I’ve ever met. But back in Homestuck the angle on page 1033 makes it look like PM(?) has boobs which, cmon, they are a bug/chess piece and I’ve never seen a busty chess piece and this is the laziest possible way to indicate a character is female.

I really do love these futuretime folks like WV and PM, I think their story is so interesting. They’re aliens, they’re bugs, they’re chess pieces, they’re video game NPCs, they’re time travelers, they’re irresolute wanderers through the wasteland, they’re the fabric of freedom and democracy and they’re carrying out the orders of a mysterious thirteen year old girl from a different species who lived centuries ago. That’s fascinating, and all their quirks and strangenesses put them in contrast to the kids who – while pretty weird themselves – are fundamentally just humans on the internet, and so are more grounded much easier to relate to then WV and PM.

I don’t know if they are fulfilling time loops or trying to actively change the past, but they seem naturally drawn towards these bunkers, like they instinctively still interface with the video game world after leaving it.

The narrator also talks directly to WV again on page 1036, something they did a lot while WV was commanding John in Act 2 (p.258, for example), though this hasn’t really happened with PM (yet). In fact it better parallels Jade, the character who most often speaks to the player. Today she actually tries to command WV, using several ==> commands in her note – I wonder if he is programmed to respond to these in any context, not just via computer terminal.

But for real, it must be so hard for WV not to eat those tasty greentext envelopes Jade has made him. And Jade absolutely called this right down to the position of the clouds and the fact that PM would be wearing the postal hat. (I guess Jade doesn’t need to feel guilty about causing the bunker to explode if she knows PM will survive, and that has interesting implications for her perspective, if she thinks it’s okay to cause harm in the moment because she definitively knows it won’t have a major, long term impact). But her predictions are eerily specific, not only in their detail, but also in her knowing exactly what guidance WV (Mister Mayor!!) will need to carry out this plan. Her ‘the freedom of your people depends on it’ is a really good way to manipulate WV, as I’m sure she knows he would never neglect his critical mayoral business no matter how tasty the letter is.

So, there’s going to be an important gift exchange, and it might be relevant that this page drops six days before Christmas. These two were on different sides of the Prospit vs Ominous Planet war, but the hearts and spirit of giving in the note suggest a peaceful exchange, two sides transcending a former antagonism. PM reaching for their sword on page 1039 isn’t a good sign, but I’m sure that as soon as they see the mail, the critical mail business will take precedence.

A more dangerous antagonism comes from the mysterious Aimless Renegade, whose gun remains pointed at the other two. I don’t think either WV or PM has noticed them yet. More importantly, has Jade seen them? They’re not mentioned – or warned about – in Jade’s note, and so could be somehow invisible to her powers. This isn’t unheard of; Jade has ‘never had any sort of feeling about [the trolls] or what they want’ (p.1000) and says that ‘if [Bec] wants to be found, he will find [her]’ (p.942), so the trolls and Bec both have some defenses against her. AR could be associated with either the trolls or Bec, or immune for a secret third reason.

Either way, I’m nervous. I like this beautiful WV-PM friendship predicted by Jade’s note, and I don’t want either of them to get blasted with an assault rifle. So whether or not this element has been accounted for by Jade, I’m hoping for some sort of holiday miracle.

> PM: Draw sword; look upwards.

[littleplantman]

Hermitcraft/Bnha crossover alright, so, I’m not sure if anyone has thought of this before, but what if the hermitcraft/life series participants existed in the bnha/mha universe? Of course not actually IN the universe and influencing the plot. But just imagine if their persona’s had quirks and interacted with some of the characters on an off chance. This is just a random idea for an au that was festering in my brain, but it sounds almost exciting. So I was thinking, how about I make a list of their theoretical quirks and show some random strangers on the internet for my first post? That sounds like a great idea! So, without further ado! The crossover absolutely nobody was asking for (and since I can’t draw I can’t put it into an actual comic or anything) here’s some of the hermits and their quirks!

Grian- I was thinking of giving him a quirk similar to fierce wings, considering most of the internet, (myself included) pictures him with wings. But, the evolution of Grian and his Minecraft skins lead me to give him a transformation quirk, something similar to Toga’s. Although I’ll probably end up giving him a bird quirk anyway, since he also looks quite similar to Hawks too. Those two would probably fly around the city, annoying people all day.

Scar- personally, I like the idea that he would get the “anivoice” quirk, so he could actually communicate with Jellie or the other cats in neighbourhood. Either that or he could have a cat related quirk, but I think it would be funny to have someone like Shinso or Aizawa meet this guy, probably after finding him with an army of stray cats, and just sit there going, “what the heck…?” Because they’re talking to a large and slightly intimidating guy, in a wheelchair, who is really friendly, and surrounded by cats that would likely commit crimes for their dad.

Tango- his quirk would end up being something like the secret lovechild of Endeavour and Burnin. He would have flaming hair, which would make sense, but his manipulation of fire wouldn’t be that strong. Similar to how Kaminari’s quirk works, he would be able to cover his hands, or other parts of his body if you’d rather, in fire. But that would be basically the extent of it. He can’t shoot the fire out all over the place, sadly. It would be cool if he ran, or was a part of a large support company that made support items or costumes for people with fire or heat related quirks.

I’m going to make a few more of these posts, since I know it’s already starting to get quite long as it is. You can probably see a recurring theme about their quirks being based off already existing powers, but I’m mostly taking inspiration from those abilities because they’re so good, and it might make it easier for those characters to interact since they’ve got quirks similar to each other. But seriously, this is how wacky my crossover au’s could get since I have such a vast range of interests.

[lunareel]

Did you like the sonic movies? (PLEASE ramble)

stobotnik?

I did like all the Sonic movies! I think the third one is my favorite with the second movie very close behind. I liked the first movie, but I felt like it had too many scenes focusing on the people (or that they dragged on too long) when I wanted more scenes focusing on Sonic. The next two movies felt like it had a much better balance of that.

With the exception of any scene Eggman or Agent Stone was in. Those two characters made that first movie for me. I was so happy to see Agent Stone was popular enough to appear in the following movies, he was a very welcomed addition.

I do like Stobotnik a lot! When I first saw the movie I told my family and friends that the internet is going to pair the two together so much and I am happy to see I was right. I admit I don't do a lot of ship art anymore, but I think I'd like to do some of them sometime along with some other sonic ships I enjoy. I think my favorite thing I've seen is when people design what Agent Stone could look like in the Sonic games.

Not quite sure what specifically you want me to ramble on but I'll just give gen thoughts I have.

I understand why Amy and Rouge didn't appear in the plot of the third movie because of just how many characters they were juggling and how they had paced out everything it made sense. I am still sad about it though, as I really wanted to see those two for that movie. I don't know, I'm just bummed that the few major female Sonic characters have been on the backburner for so long.

I was very happy to see Amy in the after credits scene along side Metal Sonic. My friends and I are wondering if Neo Metal Sonic or Metal Overlord will make an appearance at all. We're also wondering if the fourth movie will cover parallel dimensions, time travel, etc. based on Metal Sonic and Amy just warping in (Amy very much giving I've come from the future to stop Terminator vibes). Also theorizing on whether it'll be an alternate Eggman or Agent Stone will be the major villain of the next one if not Neo Metal Sonic.

I adored all the Maria scenes, and I wish she had like one or two more just because of how much I liked seeing her interact with Shadow. I'm curious to see if they will end up doing a show covering Shadow's and Maria's time in the lab together. I feel like that would be a very interesting and tragic show.

The VA for Knuckles, Idris Elba, works so well for me. I was a little worried at first, but after seeing the trailer I went okay you work really well. Knuckles as well I am happy to see they didn't make him like his Sonic Boom iteration. I know he is headstrong, but in Boom he felt more dumb. (Very similar sentiment to Keanu Reeves voice Shadow, I was initially very hesitant on it, but ended up working very well for me.)

Tails VA did such a solid job, like I heard him and I went woah that is Tails. When I checked up his VA and saw that it was Collen O'shaughnessey, I was like oh my god it is actually Tails! No wonder he sounded perfect.

Sonic's VA I just can't unhear Ben Schwartz doing Ben Schwartz . He has a very specific character type he plays that his voice is so distinguishable it can take me out of it. It's not bad, but I do feel taken out of it when I can just hear the actor instead of feeling like I'm listening to the character if that makes sense. Like for example, I liked the Mario movie but I CANNOT stand Chris Pratt as Mario, all I hear is Chris Pratt, he feels so off and it takes me so out of it. I will say at least for Ben Schwartz his voice does feel close to Sonic and that he puts in the effort, but to me there's some moments where I go oh it's Ben Schwartz instead of fully thinking yes Sonic is talking right now. Hopefully this makes sense.

I will say I've gotten more used to it for each movie though. (I am not excited to hear Pratt more in Mario Movie 2, and it's the one thing I actually dread for that movie and genuinely makes me not want to go see the movie.) But overall I wish that like Tails, they got one of his game VAs to do the movie instead. Knuckles's movie VA can stay though (though I definitely wouldn't have minded if it was one of his older VAs as well, especially if it was close to Sonic X's version).

Lowkey wished Tom actually died from when Shadow attacked him. It's not that I dislike Tom I think he is fine, but I feel like it would've been a stronger parallel and given the movie more weight, but that's just me.

Actually quick side tangent, I hate the change of how Maria died. I knew going into this movie that they would make the military more sympathetic and I was so disappointed to be right. It's a small change but it's one I very much dislike that sours the taste of her death in my mouth. Instead of it being like no the soldiers were very much intent on killing her, her grandfather and Shadow and that all of them had no qualms of doing it. Instead it's shown as a military personal desperately trying to stop another soldier from shooting her and then it showing her death more as an accident. With the bonus of oh the soldier didn't shoot her, he just shot an explosive tank which killed her, so technically he didn't directly shoot her.

Like no, she dies because she got shot from a soldier who was completely fine with shooting a child. It wasn't from an explosion, and it certainly wasn't from an accident. I thought that change was incredibly dumb.

I don't want to make this super long, but those are my general thoughts off the top of my head. Overall, I really like the movies, I feel like they mostly improve with each movie and I'm excited for the fourth movie (I just hope Rouge finally appears as well and that Amy gets a significant focus and isn't just hyped up to be pushed aside).

[bardoftheshire]

Had this idea a little while back and decided to go on with it! Tell me how you guys feel about it.

Kleptomaniacs

Tangerine x Kleptomaniac! Reader

Summary; You've been working with the twins for a good while now, and all whilst knowing them you've bonded with them through similar interests. For Lemon, Thomas the Tank Engine, and on the other hand as for Tangerine and you - kleptomania..

Notes; You've got a code name, so there's no use of Y/n but know that your "Citron," (When I tried to post this after finishing it up, tumblr gave out on me and deleted it completely off the face of the internet so I had to write it again. Thanks Tumblr)

Warnings; Swearing, Stealing, it's a Bullet Train fanfic what do you expect?

"God are you guys seriously fuckin' doing this shit again? You guys are gonna get caught one day doing that and you two are gonna be fucked y'know that right?" Lemon groans.

You and Tangerine made a game to see how much shit you could steal before chickening out. You can't do anything worse than killing people for money so you two figured, why the hell not?

"Fuck off Lem," You and Tangerine say at the same time dismissing him.

"Citron, I think you've officially spent too much time with Tan."

"Hey you can't say shit Lem, you've brainwashed Citron here into thinking of people in terms of fuckin' Thomas the Train characters you twat," Tangerine says, sneaking a pack of sweets into his suit jacket.

"Don't say shit about Thomas the Tank Engine, and dont call me a twat, you're the right fuckin' twat you ass," Lemon says, pointing a finger at Tangerine.

"Will you two stop acting like children? I spend too much time with the both of you, and you've both got qualities that are fuckin' annoying, the both of you are twats." You groan, taking multiple trinkets and small toys and shoving them into your pocket.

"Fucks sake mate, your taking the fuckin' children's toys?"

"I can take what I want Lem, piss off," You hiss.

This is typically how you three interacted with eachother. Lots of bickering and cussing at eachother, almost like teenagers that just learned a new cuss word

You'd figured with the boys it was just how they talked being that they were siblings and grew up together. I mean, you had siblings too but you never talked that way with them. Maybe it was just the way they were raised.

But with you, maybe you started acting like them and having the same behaviour after knowing them for so long. You hadn't acted like this before you met them.

You and Tangerine had finally gotten your rush from taking things and you three left the store, walking to your car given to you guys for the mission.

"Alright, start countin' everything you have," You say, getting everything out of all of your pockets and such.

"You guys have a fuckin' problem, I've said it multiple times and I'll say it again. You need to fuckin' see someone about that shit." Lemon shakes his head disappointingly at you two.

You and Tangerine ignore him as to not loose count of your stolen items.

The two of you finally finish, then looking at eacother and saying what you had in total. "32," You smirk, overly confident you had more.

But you already know you've lost when a cheeky smile appears on Tangerine's face, "47."

Your mouth hangs agape, staying quiet for at least 20 seconds. That's the most either of you had ever taken the four years you've known eachother so far.

"The worst part is that most of that shit is just sweets," Lemon says breaking the silence.

"Fuck off Lem," Tangerine hisses.

"Got a sweet tooth eh?" You chuckle, poking fun at him.

"I aint got no fuckin' sweet tooth, the sweets just so happened to be the easiest and least childish things to steal." Tangerine says, turning on the car.

Tan always liked to uphold this "tough manly guy," sort of figure. For example, when you're at a petrol station market and you and Lemon are over getting sugary drinks such as pop or juice, you best believe Tan would be getting water or a black coffee calling you two children.

"And sweets aren't childish?" Lemon raises his eyebrow.

"I didn't even get them for me you fuckin' bellend, I know you two like that sugary shit." Tangerine says.

"Wow, when did Gordon become an Edward," You say, giving Tangerine a cheeky grin.

Tangerine just sighs in defeat, knowing you and Lemon will end up teasing him just to mess with him the rest of the time regardless.

The ride back to the hotel was fairly calm, you and Lemon eating the stolen sweets and showing off the small toys you took as well, when you suddenly remembered something else you'd gotten for the both of them at another shop.

"Lemon, can you hand me that bag right there please?" You say, pointing to the small, blue bag next to him.

Lemon nods and hands you the bag from the back, you reaching over to grab it from his hands.

You take out a small plastic wrapped Thomas The Tank Engine phone charm and hand it to Lemon.

Lemon's face immediately lights up as he takes it out of its packaging, putting it on his phone and fiddling with it.

"Got this for you too, Tan," You say, turning to him and handing him a small satin bag.

"You steal this too?" Tangerine says, glancing at the bag before returning his eyes to the road.

"No, no. I actually bought that, I don't steal sentimental gifts I give, I'm not a fuckin' monster," You say, putting your hand on your chest in fake offense.

Tangerine gives you a judgemental glance.

"What is it?" He asks, still holding the small bag in his hand.

"Open it,"

Tangerine smiles and opens the bag with one hand, taking out a silver and blue colored star engraved ring.

"Its a promise ring. I saw it in a shop and figured we should get matching ones. I hope its your size, I kinda just guessed," You say, showing him your right hand that the ring was on.

"This is lovely, darling. Thank you.." Tangerine says with a loving smile, quickly putting it on his right hand with all of his other rings.

"You two are just right fuckin' sops for eachother it's sickeningly sweet," Lemon says, a cheeky grin on his face.

Tangerine mumbles something both you and Lemon couldn't hear, though by the tone it was very clearly not anything nice.

After a while longer, you three finally make it back to the hotel, Lemon checks all of you in and you all walk up to your hotel room.

As soon as you get in Lemon sets his stuff down and heads to the restroom for a shower, leaving you and Tangerine alone with eachother as you two unpack your bags.

"Tangerine?" You speak out, turning to look at Tangerine who was putting his clothes into the bottom drawer of the hotel room dresser.

"Yes, love?" Tangerine says.

"Thank you. For staying with me even when we go through all this shit. It's stressful and keeping relationships has never been easy for me with this job, you're the only one that's stayed this long and I want to let you know how grateful I am for it." You say, putting what you were doing aside so you could talk to him without any distractions.

Tangerine's head perks up a bit, then turning to look at you.

He smiles sweetly and walks over to you, pulling you into a bone crushing hug.

"Darling, you have no clue how happy I am that you've stayed with me the same. I know I can be difficult at times as well," Tangerine said, voice barely above a whisper.

You rarely ever get to see a softer side of Tan, but when you do you try to savor it as much as possible.

"You guys, are fuckin' disgusting. What I just saw there was right fucking nasty." Lemon says, standing in front of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Fuck off Lem."

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

[Quick Authors Note! Sorry I haven't gotten to these requests and other stuff these past few months, I've been busy and have had other stuff get in the way. I know this isn't much but I'm trying to clean up my drafts.

[boundwithpurple]

Your writing on this stuff has changed my mind a lot (wrt to things like rape/incest in fic and erotic literature since I never had a problem with it in “serious” fiction) but one thing that still has me flummoxed is when kink /erotic writing is race based and well racist, especially when it’s things like white Americans writing slavery porn, specifically referencing US history of slavery or other oppression/subjugation/war crimes/etc based on and explicitly referencing real world oppression coming from someone who belongs to the same group as the perpetrators. Or with how things are today, who very well could be perpetrators in recent conflicts. Idk. Is there a difference in this? Is there not? Is it reactionary to think there is? Sorry if the question is a bit stupid. Or if it’s a topic you don’t feel comfortable answering b/c you’re white or whatever other reason, I just think you’re very insightful.

i think it is different, although it’s hard to pick apart why because i don’t think anyone ever really states the true contours of the case. as in, the thing about incest or rape in fiction is it is not an identity claim, right? anyone can be a victim of incest or rape. anyone, anywhere, of any and every demographic possible. it is not a position in a social hierarchy (although victimization is conditioned by social hierarchies, and victimization also can create or reaffirm those hierarchies). the only way to determine who has the “right” to deal with it would be to demand disclosure of trauma, which i find unacceptable. people get around this by sort of claiming that erotic representations of incest or rape are violating “women” as a class, but i have a lot of problems with it from 1) not only women are victims of sexual violence to 2) the idea that all women can somehow claim special access to understanding sexual violence on account of womanhood is both irritating and with a lot of troubling political implications (to start, who gets to be included as a woman, does it really include all women, and who is making those determinations in any discursive space?) it is a practical issue: again, this is not a social class you can identify or at least identify in any unfucked way, and attempts to do that identifying from the outside are rapidly going to reveal themselves as harmfully determined by various oppressive frameworks about who gets allowed the reality of their victimization, so what is the point of drawing that line?

now, from my own personal perspective, i don’t find that line meaningful. while claiming a sort of vicarious victimhood on account of womanhood is irritating, it is also very true that we all (women AND men) live in a world where sexual abuse and rape is widespread and pervasive and has seeped into the air and groundwater to poison all our sexualities and people are going to deal with that in fiction in a variety of ways, on either side of whatever “line” one might draw. in this case i am just not interested in making personal experience the grounds by which that exploration has a right to exist and be shared. this is equally true of race - i.e., both racialized people and white people will be grappling with the erotic legacies of racial domination in their sexual imaginaries, and this will out in a continuum of forms from a knowing provocative engagement with the unspeakable to unconscious or malicious repetition of bigotry (the latter of course being far more prevalent). but again, that has a very different kind of social reality when we are talking about fanfiction. you are socially located by your race in a wide range of social encounters, including online, in a way you are not by a traumatic past. i.e. white people and their textual products have a power in those social interactions re: non-white people that is just not equivalent to that between survivor vs. non-survivor. the internet of course makes it possible for you to avoid mentioning your race, or lie about it, and i think there can be similar complicated problems with demands for disclosure and what it is correct to demand people reveal about their identities online, which is far from being a decided issue with one accepted answer. but for that reason, as a white person, it is not something i personally would play around with publicly even if i had any interest in doing so.

i don’t really make sweeping rules about much of anything, and i should not be your final authority on this, but that is the grounds by which criticism of, for example, racist fetishization in fic is going to be different than fetishization of sexual violence as such. none of this has a neat set of universal guidelines but that is my own personal understanding of the difference i feel between these different forms of “problematic” erotic content.

[ask-codeearasure]

hey! i don't have aspd or bpd, and i'm not a system, so pardon me if i sound extremely uninformed. but i thought your post about killer was really interesting, and it gave me a couple questions.

since you mentioned even maintaining your relationship with yourself is difficult, does this also affect how you and your alters/headmates perceive and/or interact with each other? from my understanding, there's a lot of different ways a system can work, so idk if this question even really applies here, but i thought i'd ask anyway

also was curious if you find your aspd affects you outside of relationships with people? ie. animals, or inanimate objects, or media or something. basically, are there things that are easier for you to have some sort of connection with than others, or do you find you still have similar difficulties with having positive feelings about things that aren't people?

anyway, you don't have to explain any part of this if you don't want to, i was just curious and wanted to give you some fuel to continue infodumping about your experience, if youd like

Well, I do like talking about myself and there just isn't enough sources of antisocials talking about their experiences out there, so why the fuck not?

I am not sharing the details I find most personal, so the information I am sharing are things I don't mind being on the internet.

On a collective scale, my symptoms of ASPD, BPD, and everything else this universe has cursed me with are scattered around the system like a broken ass jigsaw puzzle. That is how I've come to understand our functioning through the years, that some of our people carry more traits than others and that has actually made it easier for us to settle disputes or outside situations where our disorders would fuck us over otherwise.

That being said, since some of my guys don't experience what I do, they become my motivation to take care of the body and basic hygiene. I remember some times where I couldn't get myself to care enough about the people around me, so one of them would step in to manage interactions and establish bonds that either they wanted for themselves or thought would benefit me later on.

But how I think about them outside of the functionality they bring? In general I don't have many thoughts about them aside from "They're here, I am not getting rid of them, might as well adapt. We're all in this together". They help me stay alive in a better condition than I would have been if it was just me, and whatever dissociation and identity disturbance I experience because of their presences isn't a problem for me personally, unlike what it would be for other systems.

I am so used to feeling like I am nothing, or having little to no concrete basis for what I am at this moment, that being multiple doesn't change much. I am quite comfortable like this, which from what I know about other systems, might sound concerning in comparison to how they agonize over their own multiplicity. No tea or shade to them, of course. They have their own struggles, but their concerns are not mine. I'm a little happier because of the cellmates sharing my brain, and sometimes how they trip over each other to assist me or someone we like is amusing to watch.

I'm quite proud of the work they put into me, our whole, and how they've created other methods to balance how we interact with others, actually. It gives me a sense of control over my life I wouldn't have had otherwise.

But perhaps my perception is skewed, not that I'd change it for anything.

As for my dynamics with things that aren't other people, I find I get along more with non-human animals than I do human beings or other alterhumans (most alterhumans ARE non-humans too but if you can use a phone and talk, I'm gonna have issues bonding or caring about you all the same. It's not a you-problem and I don't intend any disrespect, it's just me). They don't have the demands or expectations other people would have of me, outside of me providing food, water, grooming if there's fur involved, and attention. They don't care what I say or think, they don't care if I feel like talking or not. They just want to sit with me, play, rest, and that doesn't have to involve any extra steps. They love me for what I provide, for the actions I am able to manage by default, and that makes my relationship with animals just that much easier.

You can see I'm kinda contradictory in that I can't feel love, but I do crave it. It feels good to know I am adored. I am the funniest motherfucker I know.

I feel nothing for objects unless they have a function that benefits me, like a computer or a phone. They help me connect with people, complete college, and play the occasional game if I am just that bored. What I feel for objects isn't that different from how the usual human does. I could say I do have a special attachment to the stuffed animals I purchase to reward myself for my efforts, but I can't tell if what I feel about them counts as something closer to objectum or it's yet another example of how possessive I am towards what's mine.

I did specify in the blog's about me page that I am a dragon in every sense of the word, so that last part shouldn't be much of a surprise. My ASPD and BPD do add to how possessive I can get in tandem, both towards my actual possessions, my cat, and the very few individuals I have managed to keep stable and consistent relationships with.

Now when it comes to media, my relationship with that is complicated. I do like analyzing media for what it's worth and if I bother to have an interest in it, I suppose? It's obvious I have a special interest in the Undertale Multiverse, otherwise I wouldn't be here, and my stances on media and fandom shit is direct (anti-proship and anti-harassment), but beyond those things is where I struggle to describe my dynamic with media; it can get hot and cold at times. I don't know how to put the rest of that into legible wording at this time.

-- Sarco