#the more i think about how the internet and interacting with people with similar interests had affected me the more thankful i am that im

[emperornero]

if we are mutuals and think we would get along or you just want to send me posts or whatever you can always message me or send an ask whatever i love interacting with people who share interests with me. and please dont be intimidated or feel bad if you dont talk frequently i sometimes get messages from mutuals i havent talked with for a year and its awesome to see each other again this is what this place if for . if you sometimes reach out to me i love you thank you for being here

[canmom]

speaking of line rider, I decided to poke my head back into the Line Rider Review channel, which you may remember for going viral in 2017 with Rabid Squirrel's review of the top 10 tracks of the previous year on artistic grounds...

at the time, Line Rider was around ten years old; the baroque jargon and the complexity of the techniques really got people (in much the same way as pannenkoek's half a press video), so Squirrel ended up making a followup video on the jargon, a charming slice of "this person was definitely gonna transition" which serves as a good intro to what the scene was about back then...

since then there have been many developments: more complex musical sync, elaborate animation techniques, etc etc.; it's only grown. so what does line rider fandom look like in 2024?

well... everyone is trans now of course. it's gotten a lot more interested in political and emotional themes, too. the top video is an hour long feature about the author's partner's experience of figuring out they're plural, learning Japanese, as well as the grief of friends they've lost along the way, through the lens of line rider tracks they grew up with - and that's not just one person's thing either, a whooole lot of the tracks on this list are painfully sincere short film dioramas about trauma, dysphoria, abuse and similar topics. Not all of them mind - you've also got experiments that blend between line rider and stop motion, and a recreation of a classic Touhou video from the Chinese line rider scene on bilibili (there's a Chinese line rider scene on bilibili now), but it's very clear how much the taste of this subculture has shifted. I don't mean this to be too cynical - while it's easy to be a bit 'ehh' at the activist-speak of the channel, these videos are incredibly sincere and (sigh, yes, i know it's a cliche) heartfelt expressions.

i think the fascinating thing to me is that all that technical stuff in Line Rider hasn't gone away - you're still doing crazy complicated shit to fling Bosh around the screen, stop and start them, take them on and off the sled, interact with other riders, stage frame by frame animation, etc. Everything is still meticulously synced to music. But now this passes without comment for the most part! That's just the toolbox! Just as reviews of music rarely go into the specific music theory tools - chords, scales, etc. - unless they're aimed at teaching or analysing it for musicians. Line Rider videos have in a sense matured into a whole medium.

It's definitely a fascinating illustration of the ways Being Very Autistic On The Internet is changing. godspeed you guys.

[eternalwanderer-stories]

Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but still.

Many are afraid that the second season will not meet their expectations. It's logical that the authors won't follow what the fans want. I know the rules of this game well: you don't build any expectations – you don't end up with any disappointments. But despite this, I myself have two expectations – the interaction of Viktor and Jinx (seriously, Vi and Jayce got a whole scene with a cool soundtrack in the first season, and my beloved babygirl and my beloved boy did not get any scenes together, where is justice?) and scenes where Viktor would work on creating a Blitzcrank (I want it so much, you can't even imagine). But judging by the trailer that came out, I'm unlikely to get any of this.

But actually, more than all this, I'm afraid that the authors will just confirm some of the ideas of the fans. You know, those same ideas, similar to tropes from fanfiction like: Silco suddenly rises from the dead, Ekko begins to travel through time and in parallel universes because everyone eventually died and he tries to turn back time, Vander is actually the real father of Vi and Jinx and by the power of his daughters' love from Warwick turns back into human again, Victor resurrects Skye, and Jinx and Ekko arrange a lavish wedding in the end, everyone lived together and happily as one big family and all that sort of thing.

Is it cool in fan fiction? Yes, why not, that's what they're made for.

Is it cool in the show? I do not think so.

Arcane in the first season maintains a very good tone and a very good narrative atmosphere. It would be a shame if this tone suddenly changed unexpectedly in the second season.

I don't want Arcane to repeat Voltron's fate. Whoever was or is still in Voltron's fandom understands what I'm talking about. For those who do not know, I will tell you briefly: Voltron: Legendary Defender was released in 2016 and immediately fell in love with a huge number of people, receiving an unprecedented number of laudatory reviews. Cool characters, an interesting and well-developed plot, the series instantly became an audience favorite (it was not elevated to the rank of masterpieces, like Arcane, but it was very close to it). Almost everyone heard about him, talked about him, wrote about him, praised him. However, closer to the final season, everything changed. And then there was a leak (a familiar situation, right?) – footage of some plot twists from the final season has been leaked to the Internet. Not as big as Arcane's, but critical for those who didn't want to know in advance how it would end. Most of them, of course, refused to watch them. But there were also those who looked, and they instantly turned into those annoying people who whined all the time about how bad everything was going to be. And then the final season came out and it was very bad. A number of absolutely catastrophic decisions that the screenwriters made were more like it was written either in a drunken delirium, or the creators sat all night and read fan fiction on the Wattpad, drawing ideas from there. The characters' characters were strange, their actions were illogical, the whole narrative was madly in a hurry, on the contrary it was too long where it was not required, attention was not paid to really important storylines – simply put, there was no trace of the good early seasons, and the ending absolutely did not work as it should. Comparing the initial seasons and the final one, it was hard to imagine that this was the same series, it differed so much in quality (although, to be fair, there are many who accepted all this and liked it – no kidding, I'm glad for you, but I remember too vividly how much I was disappointed).

So, I don't want Arcane to go the same way. There is SO MUCH going on in the new trailer that the question comes to mind by itself – how can you adequately fit all this into 9 episodes? Maybe it's really just pointless and stupid worries, but the first season was so good that it's doubly scary now.

I don't want the story to suddenly turn into fanfiction in Wattpad.

(I remind you that this is a leak-free zone. Please, if you have watched the leaks, no need to spoiler in the comments or in reblogs).

[serendipnpipity]

Favorite DnP Tour Song Statistics

Settle round, little ducklings, do I have some statistics to share with you all!!

A grand total of 156 people participated in this survey, so thank you if you took the time to fill it out! 🧡

As a teaser, here’s a pie chart of the votes for your favorite song! We’ll be discussing this in depth in its own section but I know some of you f*ck vibe with pie charts more than the bar charts I use there…

To give you a clear vision of what we’ll be looking at, here are the categories of the upcoming analysis:

Phandometrics (community growth on a viewership & fandom scale)

Favorite Song (general)

Favorite Song vs. Phandometrics (the main hypothesis!)

Honorable Mentions (fun little quirks I noticed along the way)

Ready? Time to read on.

PHANDOMETRICS

Lag between year started watching -> year joined the phandom. This can be seen most obviously in the 2009-2015 portion of the graph, likely when the community was just building up. I went back to check individual points, and many people seem to join a year or two after starting to watch.

Three distinct peaks of phandom growth: 2015 (dnp popularity peak), 2019 (coming out), and 2023 (dnpg comeback, dnp renaissance). Pretty expected, but still cool to see!

The difference between the peaks when you look at viewership vs. phandom is interesting though! Especially 2019 seems to be a huge spike in viewership, but the phandom growth seems a little more gradual (maybe more people lurked at first, then joined the phandom in 2023 once they were more active?).

The 2012 peak is really interesting. Most popular year to start watching from this sample, apparently!

FAVORITE SONG

"The Internet is Here" won 51.3% of the votes... which didn't surprise me all that much. It's iconic, okay?

II is about half as popular, and beyond the song qualities themselves, I wonder if a contributing factor to this pattern could be its lack of availability as an officially released song.

I think Everything's Fine is so low partially bc I closed the poll before WAD released to prevent the recency effect from skewing the data. (Especially because I thought we were getting "Everything's Fine (Acoustic)" smh.)

FAVORITE SONG VS. PHANDOMETRICS

By era...

I had a hypothesis: based on the year you joined, which I now realize in my head wrongly equated with the year you were most active in, you'd be more biased towards the song of that era bc a) you were more likely to go to the tour or b) epic nostalgia hit.

Yeah, I was wrong.

When you group the eras you see that TIIH wins in almost every single group by a similar proportion to the total, which means this attitude is fairly evenly distributed amongst the phannies.

By year...

Separating by year, you begin to see that, hold up, the hypothesis could have some merit! In either 2017 or 2018 on both graphs, the II finale actually does win.

The super high TIIH votes bleeding in from 2015/2016 and from 2019 seemed to mask this pattern.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I have no idea what happened here but both ways you slice it, Interactive Introverts was fighting for its life amongst the 2012 phannies???

We got three phannies that have been watching since 2009!! The fact that people have been sticking around so long (up to fifteen years!!! and this was only a sample of 156 of us!!!) is really heartwarming for me bc it's a testament to how strong of a community dnp have built their viewership to be.

At the end of the day, what can I say? That was a lot of statistics. I hope you enjoyed or took something away from this little survey. Lmk if you notice any other cool trends or have any theories on what the data means!

Thank you for listening to my yapping; have an orange heart.

🧡

[americas1suiteheart]

Had this idea a little while back and decided to go on with it! Tell me how you guys feel about it.

Kleptomaniacs

[Tangerine x Kleptomaniac! Reader]

[Summary; You've been working with the twins for a good while now, and all whilst knowing them you've bonded with them through similar interests. For Lemon, Thomas the Tank Engine, and on the other hand as for Tangerine and you - kleptomania..]

[Notes; You've got a code name, so there's no use of Y/n but know that your "Citron," (When I tried to post this after finishing it up, tumblr gave out on me and deleted it completely off the face of the internet so I had to write it again. Thanks Tumblr)]

[Warnings; Swearing, Stealing, it's a Bullet Train fanfic what do you expect?]

"God are you guys seriously fuckin' doing this shit again? You guys are gonna get caught one day doing that and you two are gonna be fucked y'know that right?" Lemon groans.

You and Tangerine made a game to see how much shit you could steal before chickening out. You can't do anything worse than killing people for money so you two figured, why the hell not?

"Fuck off Lem," You and Tangerine say at the same time dismissing him.

"Citron, I think you've officially spent too much time with Tan."

"Hey you can't say shit Lem, you've brainwashed Citron here into thinking of people in terms of fuckin' Thomas the Train characters you twat," Tangerine says, sneaking a pack of sweets into his suit jacket.

"Don't say shit about Thomas the Tank Engine, and dont call me a twat, you're the right fuckin' twat you ass," Lemon says, pointing a finger at Tangerine.

"Will you two stop acting like children? I spend too much time with the both of you, and you've both got qualities that are fuckin' annoying, the both of you are twats." You groan, taking multiple trinkets and small toys and shoving them into your pocket.

"Fucks sake mate, your taking the fuckin' children's toys?"

"I can take what I want Lem, piss off," You hiss.

This is typically how you three interacted with eachother. Lots of bickering and cussing at eachother, almost like teenagers that just learned a new cuss word

You'd figured with the boys it was just how they talked being that they were siblings and grew up together. I mean, you had siblings too but you never talked that way with them. Maybe it was just the way they were raised.

But with you, maybe you started acting like them and having the same behaviour after knowing them for so long. You hadn't acted like this before you met them.

You and Tangerine had finally gotten your rush from taking things and you three left the store, walking to your car given to you guys for the mission.

"Alright, start countin' everything you have," You say, getting everything out of all of your pockets and such.

"You guys have a fuckin' problem, I've said it multiple times and I'll say it again. You need to fuckin' see someone about that shit." Lemon shakes his head disappointingly at you two.

You and Tangerine ignore him as to not loose count of your stolen items.

The two of you finally finish, then looking at eacother and saying what you had in total. "32," You smirk, overly confident you had more.

But you already know you've lost when a cheeky smile appears on Tangerine's face, "47."

Your mouth hangs agape, staying quiet for at least 20 seconds. That's the most either of you had ever taken the four years you've known eachother so far.

"The worst part is that most of that shit is just sweets," Lemon says breaking the silence.

"Fuck off Lem," Tangerine hisses.

"Got a sweet tooth eh?" You chuckle, poking fun at him.

"I aint got no fuckin' sweet tooth, the sweets just so happened to be the easiest and least childish things to steal." Tangerine says, turning on the car.

Tan always liked to uphold this "tough manly guy," sort of figure. For example, when you're at a petrol station market and you and Lemon are over getting sugary drinks such as pop or juice, you best believe Tan would be getting water or a black coffee calling you two children.

"And sweets aren't childish?" Lemon raises his eyebrow.

"I didn't even get them for me you fuckin' bellend, I know you two like that sugary shit." Tangerine says.

"Wow, when did Gordon become an Edward," You say, giving Tangerine a cheeky grin.

Tangerine just sighs in defeat, knowing you and Lemon will end up teasing him just to mess with him the rest of the time regardless.

The ride back to the hotel was fairly calm, you and Lemon eating the stolen sweets and showing off the small toys you took as well, when you suddenly remembered something else you'd gotten for the both of them at another shop.

"Lemon, can you hand me that bag right there please?" You say, pointing to the small, blue bag next to him.

Lemon nods and hands you the bag from the back, you reaching over to grab it from his hands.

You take out a small plastic wrapped Thomas The Tank Engine phone charm and hand it to Lemon.

Lemon's face immediately lights up as he takes it out of its packaging, putting it on his phone and fiddling with it.

"Got this for you too, Tan," You say, turning to him and handing him a small satin bag.

"You steal this too?" Tangerine says, glancing at the bag before returning his eyes to the road.

"No, no. I actually bought that, I don't steal sentimental gifts I give, I'm not a fuckin' monster," You say, putting your hand on your chest in fake offense.

Tangerine gives you a judgemental glance.

"What is it?" He asks, still holding the small bag in his hand.

"Open it,"

Tangerine smiles and opens the bag with one hand, taking out a silver and blue colored star engraved ring.

"Its a promise ring. I saw it in a shop and figured we should get matching ones. I hope its your size, I kinda just guessed," You say, showing him your right hand that the ring was on.

"This is lovely, darling. Thank you.." Tangerine says with a loving smile, quickly putting it on his right hand with all of his other rings.

"You two are just right fuckin' sops for eachother it's sickeningly sweet," Lemon says, a cheeky grin on his face.

Tangerine mumbles something both you and Lemon couldn't hear, though by the tone it was very clearly not anything nice.

After a while longer, you three finally make it back to the hotel, Lemon checks all of you in and you all walk up to your hotel room.

As soon as you get in Lemon sets his stuff down and heads to the restroom for a shower, leaving you and Tangerine alone with eachother as you two unpack your bags.

"Tangerine?" You speak out, turning to look at Tangerine who was putting his clothes into the bottom drawer of the hotel room dresser.

"Yes, love?" Tangerine says.

"Thank you. For staying with me even when we go through all this shit. It's stressful and keeping relationships has never been easy for me with this job, you're the only one that's stayed this long and I want to let you know how grateful I am for it." You say, putting what you were doing aside so you could talk to him without any distractions.

Tangerine's head perks up a bit, then turning to look at you.

He smiles sweetly and walks over to you, pulling you into a bone crushing hug.

"Darling, you have no clue how happy I am that you've stayed with me the same. I know I can be difficult at times as well," Tangerine said, voice barely above a whisper.

You rarely ever get to see a softer side of Tan, but when you do you try to savor it as much as possible.

"You guys, are fuckin' disgusting. What I just saw there was right fucking nasty." Lemon says, standing in front of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Fuck off Lem."

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

[Quick Authors Note! Sorry I haven't gotten to these requests and other stuff these past few months, I've been busy and have had other stuff get in the way. I know this isn't much but I'm trying to clean up my drafts.

[sadisticfervor]

Something that's been on my mind a lot recently (to the surprise of no one) has been domming, but I've been doing a lot of thinking about it that's more informative than sexy in nature. I wanted to make a post for both subs and doms out there about something I see that kinda worries me, not just on here but on the internet as a whole.

I'm not gonna cover a lot of things covered better by other people/posts/sources, things like how to be a good dom/sub or how to establish communication and consent - those are extremely important things, but I think other people have said it better already.

The big thing on my mind is how a lot of queer folks entering the world of kink haven't really done any critical analysis on their preferences and roles. From a dominant perspective, you really /really/ need to put in the time to introspect about the role and why you desire that role, and how you will keep yourself and your partner safe, secure, and happy. From a submissive perspective, there's a bulk of thought to be done on how you expect to be treated - in and out of scene - and precisely where your boundaries and borders are.

If you're new to kink (or even if you're experienced, it's a good check-up) and you think you're wanting to try a dominant role, please ask yourself the following questions:

Why is this something I prefer?

What is the most I'm willing to do for my sub?

Are there means of communication (in and out of the bedroom) that I prefer?

Am I capable of exiting the dom mindset if needed?

What do I expect from my sub? Think about communication, but also how to meet each others' needs, protect from triggering situations, and what /you/ need to be happy.

Do I have the proper knowledge to safely attempt what I want to attempt? If not, how do I intend to get that knowledge before trying it?

Think these over! These are not meant to scare away anyone from kink, nor are they a comprehensive list of things you need to consider. Domming is a responsibility first and foremost, and it should be treated like one. Kink is a lot of fun, but like with anything (if not moreso), you need to put in the work to make sure you're doing it as safely and thoughtfully as possible for your sake and your sub's sake.

I wanted to write this because being a dom, especially a transfem dom/top, is stigmatized here and on the larger internet. A dominant mindset is often quickly written off as predatory, and I've seen very little content for doms - it's a beautiful role that requires a lot of work and responsibility, but its worth it in the scenes and art you can create. I want to do my part to educate and spread awareness as much as I can.

Feel free to reblog to spread the word, whether you're a dom, sub, vers, or just an interested bystander. Minors do not interact, as with all my content from this blog. Others are welcome to add more thoughts regarding domming and power exchange, and I'd happily welcome other perspectives onto this post - a similar guide to introspection for subs especially.

[mielwriting]

Would I enjoy Honkai: Starrail?

So I was just thinking how between Genshin and HSR, it's a shame that I don't see of the dragons being women (Genshin has Apep, but she's not playable and we don't even know what she looks like when she's not covered by a sandstorm so I'm not sure she counts) and then I find out Hsr is getting a new character, Lingsha, and she's a dragon!

Maybe this is what finally convinces me to sign up. But as interesting as the lore is, I'm not convinced. Below are some things I'm concerned about, and would like answers to before I get sucked into another gacha game:

I didn't play Honkai Impact or any of the previous games. I'm vaguely aware of some white-haired (robot? I think?) lady named Kiana who vaguely resembles Genshin's Unkown God and ascends to be some sort of cosmic deity herself. I'm also aware of some red-haired lady who died in some sort of tragic sacrifice, and I think there's an item of hers on display somewhere in hsr as an easter egg. And the Herscherr of the Wind (whatever that is) Wendy, Venti's counterpart, died too. But besides that, I have no context. Without having played previous Honkai games, would I be incredibly lost, even if I got caught up on the limited-time events that I missed?

I've heard Hoyo favors Hsr, and it's better in storytelling: for example, the Trailblazer is more plot-relevant than the Traveler, and unlike Genshin, hsr playable characters are actually standing around the map as npcs, and the player can interact with them, even when there's not some quest that just finished. And that the map feels more alive because of that. Is that true?

I love open-world games. Never before have I played something like Genshin. In a lot of games I'm used to playing, you have to stay on the specific path that's relevant to the main story. You cannot climb on top of that house. You cannot even walk into the forest off the path. Genshin, however, lets you go everywhere. Who cares if it's relevant to the plot? You can climb on top of that house, you can go to the top of that mountain. Most of the time, there's a chest up there or an achievement for making it that high up. I'm told hsr is not like that at all. The Trailblazer can't even jump. Would I still enjoy it? How limited is the exploration exactly?

I also love Genshin's representation of queer and disabled people, both in npcs and in playable characters (admittedly some of it is subtext). There's Arlecchino and Zhongli with their gender fluidity, there's Wanderer with his trans allegory, there's Venti who was described as non binary to the voice actor, there's Lyney and Gorou and Furina and many others who wear a bit of the opposite gender's clothes, there's eimiko and kavetham and beiguang with all of their subtext. There's Dunyarazard and Collei and Baizhu who are chronically ill, there's Chiori and Albedo and Alhaitham who are probably autistic. Etc. I've heard Firefly is disabled (chronically ill with a curse or something?) and I know Ratiorine is a popular ship (I'm attached already). But how close to canon is all that? Are there lots of queer and disabled characters?

I also love secret identities as a trope. My favorite archons are the ones who spend their time pretending to not be archons. I love Kaeya's angst about secretly having been sent as a spy, and Albedo secretly being not-human who may be forced to kill everyone he loves, and how both of them may or may not be scared of the Archon, and yet the archon in question seems to like them. Love that drama. Are there characters with similar Secret Identity drama in hsr?

I love the religious themes and how one theme central to Genshin's story is how gods (and god-adjacent non-human characters) are still people, with flaws and fears and basic social needs. It's sweet. Does hsr have similar themes of divine beings being human at heart?

I also love the escapism of Genshin -it's bright and colorful, both in marketing and in the open-world itself. Also, there's no internet or cell phones or anything. I know that if you pause hsr, whatever character you're currently playing as pulls out their phone. I've heard Penacony compared to the tourist areas of Las Vegas (derogatory). It looks so grey. Is hsr truly so much more grey and modern compared to Genshin? Is it just as escapist?

I feel a similar amount of freedom in Genshin's combat system. I'm told Hsr's system is turn-based, and you the player barely have to press any buttons during those moments. Would I find that fun?

I don't need another gacha game, and I definitely don't have the same amount of time to devote to hsr and I already do genshin. But still, I'm hoping for people to prove my misconceptions wrong.

[al-the-remix]

Random fandom thoughts/feelings

The reblog button is turned off on this post but I think it's another incredibly important one to be thinking about. I enjoy their framing of how the profit economy of other social media sites has been bleeding into fandom spaces on both tumblr, and like this post focuses on, Ao3. It's something that I've been noticing more and more and it really rubs me the wrong way and I feel like OP's post words it perfectly in a way I've been struggling to express.

This sort of connects the previous post I reblogged on the topic talking about how fandom is not a good in road for becoming internet famous.

A facet of this that's really bamboozled me recently is that I feel like i've been seeing more and more of is the idea that a singular person has a right to call "dibs" on a specific piece of media. Which is honestly totally fucking wild to me and if I'm being totally frank kind of dumb.

Every single one of us who interacts with fandom and by extent and IP is flirting with copy right law, the consequences of which everyone should be extremely familiar with by now with the fall of LJ and various lawsuits by authors, dmca notices, etc.

We have all heard the adage "there's no such thing as an original idea"; the idea that everything we create is the amalgamation of all the things that influence us, good and bad.

This is totally normal and good, actually.

For example, if I and another person both watch a TV show, see a production photograph that we really like and decide to draw it and post them one after the other it would be considered extremely bad behaviour to then turn around and make a big stink about how someone else had the gall to turn around and draw the same thing that I did. We can all look at a picture, video, lyrics to a song, become inspired and create something wildly different based on our tastes and influences--but we also are equally, if not more so, likely to create something nearly identical to our peers, especially in a fandom space where ideas are concentrated and we are all consuming each other's thoughts, opinions, and creations. More than once I've come up with an idea for a fic or a drawing that someone else had had a nearly identical execution of without us communicating or viewing each other's work. That's just the way the human brain works, we're hard wired to make connections in a fairly similar way.

You do not have a right to call dibs on any one photograph, clip of video, song lyrics or any other bit of media you might consume.

This stands for artists, writers, gif makers, AMV creators, and any other way you choose to express your love of fandom creatively.

If you are really hard pressed to focus on the numbers and work at being ~influential~ the burden is on you to distinguish yourself creatively.

There's a reason why not being able to see follower counts is so important to the way fandom and tumblr functions. The concept of ~small creators~ and ~big creators~ or BNF or whatever are all burdens you place on yourselves. No one is taking anything away from you by engaging with the same bit of media you are in a similar way. We all have a right to express ourselves creatively and emotionally through any snippet of media that sparks our interest. You do not get to "own it" just because you happened to pump something out first. There are no creative "dibs". This isn't even some sort of "fandom" etiquette thing that has gone thus unspoken. It's a strange possessive thing that I've seen crop up more and more as the idea of being a capital "C" Creator brain rots people's minds and atrophies their ability to be creative.

Sort of on a tangent, but I have a bunch of other personal random thoughts about how this push to be prolific stagnates fandom, but these are more complicated for me and I'm not as clear on how I want to express them. On one had I am completely on board with the "there is no such thing as cringe" mindset and that everyone has a right to create whatever super indulgent thing they want to without having to suffer people being snobby about it. But, on the other hand I feel very strongly that the cycle of people seeing one trope or characterization being repeated repeated over and over and gaining popularity, reading only that--writing only that--leading others to also only consume that, really stymies creativity and makes it harder to grow the fandom if people that are trying to enter aren't into That One Thing, while also ostracizing people who are already in the fandom that aren't into That One Thing. I strongly believe that people's tastes are at least 70% just what they're exposed to, and obviously not everyone is going to be into whatever weird niche concept they're exposed to through fandom, but the more they are the more opportunity they have to expand that horizon. I don't know how many times I've gotten a version of the "I wasn't sure I would like this but I gave it a shot and it turns out I really love it!" and how good that feels and how much I wish other people were emboldened to do the same instead of being so wrapped up in how their work may or may not be received.

This is mostly a subjective thing though, so it's less cut and dry. Like for example, I really struggle with engaging with transgender fic despite being transgender myself because of the way most AFAB fic is written to the point where I avoid it now almost entirely. Which, frankly, really fucking sucks but also I will be the first person to fight for other's ability to write transgender characters wether they appeal my personal feelings and taste or not.

Anyway, this is one of the reasons I'm so protective of fandom community events, especially ones that employ aspects of the fandom gift economy such as exchanges. There are one of the few wholly un self-centred places left where the focus is on gifting someone something they will love and giving back to the fandom at large by flooding it with art and opportunities appreciation and engagement with each other. It is not supposed to be an opportunity for you to think about yourself and "getting something good" in return or using it a convenient deadline. It also offers you an opportunity to engage with fic tropes and genres that you've never considered writing or reading before.

TL;DR if you've found yourself recently squabbling over how many notes your gifs, art, writing, etc. has been getting compared to other people instead of focusing on forging community ties and your own creative expression, I'm sorry to say you're doing it wrong.

[basement-buddy]

i have a similar question to the posting art online anon, how long did it take before you really started to see results posting online? ive been doing it for um about a year? or so and havent had a lot of traction! and it can be a little disheartening to have stuff you work hard on end up with 0-1 likes 😞😞😞 im just curious if there is more i can be doing or if im doing something wrong !

Honestly it works out differently for everyone! I have been posting my art online for 10 years next year, and I only really started getting decent attention on my stuff about 5 years ago, and it only actually really turned into huge traction on my IG about say, 3 or 4 years ago now?

Based on that experience alone I think the biggest thing to take away from this is that the hard part is just getting the ball rolling because once it’s going, it snowballs gradually on its own. I can tell you how I personally grew any of my accounts but I can’t guarantee that it’ll work for everyone!

1- Consistent posting, this is especially big if you’re starting out. You don’t have to share big finished pieces daily. Post a 2 minute doodle from your phone! A WIP of a painting you’re doing for school, do a zoomed in sneak peek of that real nice drawing you’re doing in your personal sketchbook. It doesn’t matter, just try and post a little snippet like once every 2-3 days. Never feel pressured to finish a drawing every single day, just share your art journey even if in fragments.

2- interacting with others!!! I’m going to be so honest with you, internet users are very nosy people. Very curious. If you frequently comment, interact with online users you want to be lumped with (in your case, artists), then people will see your account appearing alongside the people they’re following and start checking you out. Leave comments on your favorite artists’ post, ask questions on a post regarding your favorite fandom, etc! At one point in 2022, I got a huge influx of followers simply because I shared a headcanon regarding Princess Jellyfish, and the other commenters that saw it checked my profile and saw that at the time, I had Princess jellyfish fanart on my profile!

3- there’s a lot of people that tell you to follow art trends, while others say only to draw exactly what you want, and in my opinion, only do art trends if you can combine them with your interests and art. Don’t force a trend if you don’t really want to. In my personal experience, engaging in art trends only really works for me if I draw my favorite fandom in place of the meme, or a silly picture of my ocs. Don’t feel pressured to overperform in art trends, either. Just be yourself, do what you do best, and the boost of a trend will push you to people who will actually stick around because they like what you do!

And finally, something to keep in mind, is that LOTS of great artists go under the radar. A follower count does not determine your skill, your worth or your value. You can have beautiful art and very few people will notice for years. Just do what you love, and have fun.

[bluegekk0]

assuming social media like ours exists in the modern au, what kind of social media presences would each character have?

To me the modern AU is in this strange spot where I really like the idea of it taking place in early 2000s, but at the same time, I also use it for asks like these where it's much more contemporary. So I suppose it's just set in an undisclosed year depending on what I need it for haha

Vyrm strikes me as someone who'd just have a blog or account dedicated to his hobbies and only post there. He wouldn't engage with anyone past a "thank you" in response to nice comments, he'd just post about his things and then move on with his day. Most of his online presence would be that, and watching YouTube videos on things he finds interesting. He'd definitely love to watch stuff like carpet cleaning videos while in his workshop, so maybe he'd share some of these sometimes haha

Grimm is like the complete opposite, he would love to start arguments online, and he would cackle to himself at any hate comments he gets. I think he'd find it fascinating to observe how people lose their minds at the most pointless things, and if that means he has to act like an idiot to bait people into losing it, so be it. Aside from that, he'd like and comment sweet things under every single post made by Vyrm or the kids, most likely on a private account so no one from his main battleground ever reaches his family.

Hornet would find herself at home in the shitposting parts of the internet. I think she'd struggle with genuine interactions, so instead she'd communicate through memes. That, and she'd post complaining about things that bother her, likely blocking anyone who acts snarky in response so they stop pissing her off. She'd definitely be a unique character on social media lmao

Holly, again, complete opposite than Hornet. They'd be more similar to Vyrm in that their social media presence would be minimal. I think their feed would just be photos of cute animals, which they would then share to the family group chat. Maybe they'd post about the plushies they made from time to time, but I don't think they'd have the same drive to yap about their hobbies as Vyrm.

Zote's social media would be dedicated to being a jerk in the comments, most likely. Except unlike Grimm, he'd be the one getting baited all the time and then arguing about it. He'd be the type to misunderstand something, get mad about it, and then either double down or stop responding after he gets proved wrong. I think he'd avoid sharing about his interests to prevent others making fun of him, though maybe he'd follow in Grimm's footsteps and make a private account for that.

The kids wouldn't be allowed to have social media until they're older, but I decided I'd involve them in what-if situations where possible.

Lewk would have the most wholesome account right there with Holly. Since I already imagine him to be super optimistic and helpful, he'd definitely be the kind of person to comment with support under so many posts. It would be wholesome to the point some would call it fake, but no, I think he'd genuinely want to use his platform for good.

Asta would love sharing posts related to nature and travel. I think her accounts would be full of biology facts and pictures of beautiful places. But similarly to Vyrm and Holly, I don't think she'd be interested in direct interactions, just sharing her interests, with maybe occasional comments under the family's posts. She wouldn't be very active in general, I see her as someone who wouldn't be that tech savvy, instead spending most of her time outside.

I really like the idea that Milo would be a big video game nerd. Makes sense for him, he struggles to keep up with others, so he would definitely look for an escape in games where he can make himself stronger and much more capable. So his social media would be centered all around games, he's get into discussions about them, occasionally losing his cool (usually if his insecurities get in the way) but overall keeping it civil. I like the idea of him posting little clips of his own gameplays, and the rest of the family being supportive (to the point it might be a little embarrassing for him haha)

[softcitrus2345]

Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

[renaiswriting]

Velvet embrace (part 4)

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo/Reader

Summary:

Shadow people were always there in your life. They never disturbed you; they never interacted with you; it was like there was a pact between both of you to simply ignore each other. They saw you grow from a baby to an adult.

So why are you now getting attached to one of them who keeps looking out for you?

Warnings: none, I think.

Word count: +5.2k

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

@sahhmochi @darkdayelixer @ryusha-rose

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The silent watchers masterlist

Masterlist

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You have yet to meet someone who has gone through something similar to you, and the exhaustion from your useless internet search and the books that you were spending hours (that you most definitely did not have) reading was only making you more and more scared of what was yet to come.

 

There was lots of information about shadow people, yes, but most of it came from old tales and fantasy books that gave you no answer to what to do or why they were in your life when you had little to no interest in them.

 

If anything, they only made your bills go higher than what you could afford.

 

There was no clue as to why they were suddenly interacting with you when, all your life, they have been just fine being in their space and letting you be on your own.

 

You were actually terrified of you going nuts, and now your own mind was not as reliable as you had trusted.

 

What if something so horrible had happened and your mind was trying its best to make you think there was one of them that was nothing but nice to you?

 

You tried to avoid thinking about the worst-case scenario, but your mind was nothing but a whole compilation of them.

 

There was one tab that was open, and it was catching your attention more than you wanted to admit, but a good exorcism was maybe the answer to your questions.

 

Based on what you have seen in horror movies whose names you couldn't recall right there since there were way too many to remind them all, those things were constantly around and only started gaining more strength as you noticed them more.

 

And the thing was, no matter how much you were telling yourself that those things were not real or did not exist, you were constantly thinking about them.

 

Wonwoo.

 

You remembered his name a little bit too much for your liking.

 

He had been making his presence impossible to ignore, constantly leaving stuff behind for you on the other side of your door and some messages here and there, most of them written on your mirrors or windows, but you still remembered clearly the note he had left on the fridge wishing you a good start of the day and apologizing for the mess in the kitchen. The last part had been made almost impossible to read by covering it with what stinks like dry tomato sauce.

 

What was his deal? You wondered, eyeing the little cactus he had given you a couple of days ago.

 

You were never sure whether it was a good idea to accept his gifs or not, but you were a little bit too scared that he would turn like one of your (unwanted) roommates and start slamming doors as well as breaking the sole of your stuff.

 

So you always keep them safe in your bedroom, the only space where you truly feel safe.

 

Fortunately, he never made an appearance, so at least you were free to have nightmares with him as the mail character.

 

And speaking of nightmares, you were having so many recently that the dark circles under your eyes seemed to be permanently tattooed, and your own family was starting to feel concerned over your well-being.

So big were their concerns that they had actually accepted coming over for dinner, and you were, for the first time in a long time, praying that they would accept to stay the night.

 

You were weighting your options because none of them seemed a hundred percent harmless.

 

The first option would be to ask, or rather hint, at your parents to get them to stay the night at your place, but you will still have to find a way to avoid having to explain why the lights should stay on all night and what the strange noises would be at night if the lights were off.

 

The second option was to spend the night at their place, an option that you would have normally accepted, but you had classes that you could not skip the next morning, and their home was way farther away for you to simply spend a peaceful night there.

 

You eyed the plant that was on your bed table; you didn't even dare to voice the third option.

 

The third option was the one you were most afraid of.

 

And you would wish to come up with a million other excuses before choosing that one.

After one last glance at the web page, you closed your computer, throwing it as far away from you (within the space of the bed) as possible.

 

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling of your room. There was a large damp patch that had been forming over the past few days, but you simply hadn't had the time or energy to fix it.

 

You knew it was coming from the bathroom, which was officially off limits to you, but you were afraid that if it kept growing, one of those nights you'd end up under a bathtub.

You sighed, and your fingers moved to your eyelids, massaging them. They felt tired and burned with every massage you gave them, no matter how gentle. You had been getting too little sleep and spending too much time in front of your computer screen for your own good.

 

You gave yourself a few moments to mentally prepare for whatever you might find on the other side of the door.

 

What you feared most was the living room, because the night before you heard that, a couple of things had fallen.

 

The only thing you were hoping for was that some of the pictures that your grandmother had painted and hung on her own when your grandfather was still alive had not fallen.

You opened the door with white knuckles, holding on to the door handle as if from the door you were absorbing the strength and courage needed to take a step forward.

The door to the bathroom was wide open, and while you remembered closing it, it didn't catch your attention.

 

What struck you as odd was that all the other doors seemed to be untouchable, exactly as you had last seen them before you closed the door to your room for the remainder of the evening.

 

This time there was no sort of present waiting for you in the hallway, and you didn't know exactly if this made you feel calmer or if it just added to the feeling of alertness you were constantly experiencing lately.

 

You walked to the bathroom expecting a message on the mirror, as you had usually received them, but there was nothing.

 

The expressionless face reflected back at you, staring into your own eyes.

 

You decided to just push that awkward feeling deep inside yourself, using the time to take a quick shower and start your day.

 

If your parents were coming that exact night, you had so much to prepare and clean that you genuinely didn't have the time to care right there.

But when you finished descending the stairs, you found yourself in front of a completely clean living room.

The television was off, with the remote control sitting in the center of the coffee table in front of the sofa.

It had all the pillows arranged the way you used to leave them, and the curtains were already open, arranged in two different bows to let in all the sunlight.

Did you sleepwalk down to the living room? You wondered, and your eyes and hands quickly traveled to each end of your body, making sure you weren't hurt in any way.

Maybe your famous TV-loving roommate had decided to take a little break that night, you thought with a shrug.

You made your way to the kitchen, expecting to see dishes ready to be washed, but the dishes were already dry and put away.

On the table, there was a crystal glass you hadn't seen in a long time, with some water in the bottom of the glass, and three moonflowers (already dried and unfortunately dead) decorated the dark wood of the table.

 

These had surely been the beauty of the night, but unfortunately, once they bloomed, they died the next day. You wondered where they could have come from because you didn't remember seeing them around the house.

 

There was already some coffee prepared, which was fortunately still warm enough to drink at that moment, and a bowl of your favorite cereal with the spoon you always ended up using because you could take a large amount of the cereal with it next to the bowl.

 

You weren't going to lie; it was nice to wake up and find everything ready and breakfast waiting to be devoured, but a part of your brain, the rational part that told you since you were little that it was never a good idea to accept candy from a stranger, was insisting on making you some toast instead.

You guess it was now or never, so while you were waiting for your two toasts to be ready, you decided to give your parents a quick call using the phone on the wall. You paced nervously in the limited space you could move with the phone on hand as you mentally counted the seconds before someone over your parents' house picked up the phone. After some rings, your mother was greeting you happily.

"(Y/n), darling! It's been so long, how are you today?"

Your mom's voice had an automatically calming effect on your tense shoulders; you quickly felt like crying without even knowing it, and your breath suddenly became shaky.

"Hi, mom!" There was such a big smile on your face. You let your elbows dug into the table, stealing one of the cereal pieces and biting it.

"Is everything alright, sweetie?" Your mom asked, and just by the way her voice sounded worried, you could picture her with a frown on her forehead.

 

"Oh, yeah, yeah, everything's fine." You quickly reassured her, cleaning your throat to take all the shakiness away. Your finger was playing with the phone cord, twisting it. "It's just that it's been a while since the last time you both came to the old grandma's house, and I was just thinking... it would be nice if you and dad came over tonight; I promise I'll not burn the food, and I'll make sure to make something other than instant noodles, I promise it." You joked.

"So you'll make us coffee for dinner?" your mother laughed from the other end of the line.

"I mean, if you guys want to." You laughed. This was what you missed about your other life—having another human person in the same space as you to sootle down some of the chaos of the shadows.

 

"We will bring some lasagna leftovers from today's lunch. Your father's cooking it right now; wanna say hi?" Your mother asked your father, and you could hear him speaking but couldn't really understand what he was saying.

 

"Hi (y/n)!" Your father shouted, and your ear almost went numb from the strenuous noise. "What are you doing?"

 

"Not much. I was going to clean my house, but it seems like it's already pretty clean." You mentioned moving the phone away from your ear to avoid it hurting later.

 

"We'll be there at seven; do we need to bring something else?" Your mom took over the call again. You wanted to ask for your favorite dessert that she knew exactly how to make, but you decided it would have been rude to ask her to do it.

"Nah, it's okay; just come over tonight." You smiled at her.

 

The conversation continued for some more time until your mom excused herself because some guests had arrived at their house.

 

You took a sip of your now-cold coffee and the toast you had made with some butter and jam. Your stomach felt full, but you still eyed the cereal. You have taken some pieces of it, and it did taste as normal as always.

 

You decided that, before throwing it in the trash and wasting it, you would save it for later in case you got hungrier and didn't feel like cooking anything.

°•°

"This is lovely," your mother mentioned, putting her purse on the table. Her fingers were carefully touching the moonflowers; the white flowers were almost as big as the palm of her hand. "Where did you get them from? I didn't see any of these in the garden."

 

"One of my friends gave it to me." You replied, anxiously looking over the living room, which was starting to be a little too dark for your liking. You moved to the windows, moving the curtains to let the last glimpse of natural light come through the window, and before it was too late, you turned the lights on.

 

"The bill is going to be impossible to pay; just turn them off; we can use the light once it's dark outside." Your mother scolded you.

 

"It's okay; I can't cook unless I can see what I am doing." You excused yourself by putting the food in the oven. You heard your mother sigh, walking to the kitchen door.

"And does the living room's light need to be on for you to cook as well?"

 

"Where's dad?" You asked instead. Your mother's back was resting against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she shook her head in disapproval while still looking at the living room.

"He went to buy some wine; he thought we still had some at home, but it seems like the last one had been emptied the last time we met with our friends."

 

"Lasagna and wine. This is way fancier than what I thought."

"It's been so long since I actually spent time here; everywhere I look, I can remember your grandma walking around, speaking to someone, cooking... it just feels weird. How are you doing?" Your mother asked. Her hand was on top of yours, squeezing it. "My little girl has become a woman now; it's just so weird. This whole big old house just for you must take so much work and effort."

"It's alright. It was harder at first, but I think now I'm getting used to it, but I miss you both." You confessed, smiling at her. "That's why I thought it would be a good idea to invite you both, and there are so many rooms in here; maybe you can stay the night? I still haven't cleaned all the rooms, but there are a few guest rooms that are ready to be used."

"Oh, speaking of rooms, why don't you show me yours?" Your mother asked excitedly. Standing up from her seat.

 

"It is really messy right now." You tried to change the topic, "I didn't clean it."

 

"Honey, do you forget that I was the one that had to clean your room until you started high school? I bet it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Yeah, I know—but... Mom? Where are you...?" Your mom had started to move to the door, disappearing as you started hearing some steps on the staircase.

 

You quickly put on your feet, trying to catch up with your mom's quick footsteps. She always had light steps that, in seconds, could move kilometers.

You almost tripped, catching just on time to avoid hitting against the wooden staircase by holding dear God to the step right above the one you almost fell.

"Be careful! God." Your mom sighed in relief once you started walking again. And, luckily, this time she waited for you to be right next to her to continue walking again.

The only door that was open in the hallway was the bathroom's door, and the light was on. Your mom didn't like it; she clicked her tongue as you both passed by, sneakily turning the light switch off before you could realize it.

The only light in the hallway came from the living room light, but as soon as your mother's hand touched the doorknob of your bedroom door, it seemed that both of you were blinded by the amount of bright light coming from your room.

It seemed as if you had your own electric sun in your very room.

"But for heaven's sake! How do you not go blind with all this light? My God." Your mother covered her eyes with the same hand she had opened the door with, advancing into the room with a little nudge to the door so that there was too much room for both of you to enter.

 

Your room was such a mess; there were lots of clothes on the floor. You have not vacuumed in almost two weeks. There were some books and a good twenty pages of your notes on your desk, with an old cup of tea that had been there for so long that there was a ring of it already tattooed on the desk.

"You are still the same mess you have been since you were a child, huh? Adulting hasn't reached out to you yet." Your mom joked, sitting down on your bed that was still undone.

"At least you're keeping something alive; I cannot remember the number of plants you have killed in the past."

Your mother was putting some water on the little cactus. She was glancing at you here and there, noticing your lack of response.

"Where did you get it? I want to have one for myself as well." Your mom continued. "Does it take that much effort, or do you just water it once per day?"

"It was growing outside," you replied, trying to come up with some sort of response to your mom's curious eyes. "If I find another one, I'll save it for you." You promised it.

Your mother nodded. "Yeah, I would love to." She kept looking around. "You could use some new decorations; what are these curtains? You could use some less thick ones; can you even tell when there's sun outside?"

The horn of your dad's car made them know it was time to eat, fortunately for your stomach, which had already been waiting for food for a long time.

Your dad was waiting on the other side of the door; his hands were full of things he seemed to have just bought. Your mouth started salivating when your eyes fell on the chocolate ice cream he had against his chest. That was most likely freezing him, even with his big jacket on.

 

Your mom was already taking the food out of the oven. Settling the table with the plates you had to buy new because one of your gentle roommates had broken more than six of them, you remembered bitterly.

 

"It took you long enough; where are you fabricating it by hand?" Your mother joked, taking the things from your father's hands and placing them on the fridge to have them later.

"There was only one person manning the cash register," your father commented with a tired sigh, sitting down in one of the three chairs that sat with a plate of food in front of them. "So I had to wait until the couple finished paying for theirs. It looked like they had bought it for a whole year. Oh, it smells so good." Your dad complimented you, smiling happily at you.

 

"Mom cooks." You confessed. Your mom rolled her eyes, taking the only available chair.

 

"Well, I wanted to make sure you're actually eating food for once, but I must say, I am surprised. I saw some onions, carrots, and tomato skins in the trash, so at least you're eating your vegetables."

"That's an upgrade from the two in the morning cereal that I usually found you snacking on almost every night." Your father agrees with your mother.

"Hey, wait," you suddenly said, your hands moving under everything that was on the table, even checking the floor. "Has anyone seen my phone? I swear I had it here just a minute ago."

"Are you for real? Again?" Your mother nags, helping you search for it. "How come you're always losing that thing when it's basically an extension of your own arm?"

You ended up finding it on the staircase. You frowned, not really knowing how it ended up there in the first place.

You took advantage of the fact that you were already there to turn on the lights in the hallway, and in almost every room you could, the sun had already gone down completely.

You hurried up to go back to enjoy the rest of the dinner with your family, convincing them both to stay the night and hoping that your mother did not turn the lights off as soon as you closed your bedroom's door behind your back once it was time to sleep.

•°•

You had already lost count of the mental count you were taking, sighing deeply to hold on and reinforce your thin patience that was almost non-existent.

Your blankets were covering you up to below the neck, and you were debating whether it had been a good idea to have invited your parents that night or not.

It seemed like everything had been amplified by your parents' visit.

There was a point in which you just couldn't support it anymore, and you could even hear your dad's classic coughing technique to let you know you weren't letting him sleep that he had been using since you had memory.

So, feeling a little bit braver now that you knew your parents were upstairs, you started walking through the long and spooky dark hallway, the only source of light coming from the bright electronic sun you had made in your bedroom, and the lamps posited here and there in the narrow space up to the staircase.

You could tell they had already started sensing you out of your room because a heavy and unwelcoming sensation ran through your spine, making you hug yourself tighter. Your hands were starting to hurt from how they were holding onto your own waist.

You let out a shaky breath. You were now not so sure that this had been a good idea, as your anger and lack of sleep had made you feel two minutes away.

You basically throw yourself to the other wall, slowly pocking your head out of the protection the wall had given you and taking a quick glance at what was going on downstairs.

You could see a lengthy sillouete moving with heavy footsteps to the kitchen, moving their head in your direction before disappearing. You could hear the sillouete opening one of your snack bags and, seconds later, the sound of the microwave making some popcorn. The smell travels from the kitchen to your nose.

There was a noise that was scarily similar to a thunderstorm coming from your own living room, and almost as if you were still dreaming, you saw a way shorter figure running quickly to the stairs, throwing some of the family portraits on the wall to the floor, some of the crystals not surviving such a fall.

"What are you doing?" A voice came through, and your eyes darted around the dimly lit room with a few orange-hued light bulbs.

The somewhat annoyed-sounding voice soon had a body to go with it. His silhouette was tall, with broad shoulders and a small waist. His legs were long and slender, seeming to be the length of miles. "It's too dangerous for you to leave your room now!"

His long and thin fingers wrapped around your wrist, the cold and icy feeling not as recomfortating as you would have hoped.

His touch gave you goosebumps. And his hold was so strong that you were scared it would leave red marks once you could get free from his hold, because it would mean this actually happened and it was not a product of your mind, that it was not a nightmare.

His fingers dug even deeper into your skin as he cinched you with long, spaced steps to the nearest room he could find, practically pulling you inside and hurrying to close the door behind him.

 

The door had barely reached the latch when something began to slam it hard, causing the piece of wood to vibrate with each blow it was given. You feared the door was going to break in two, and you would be face-to-face with whatever was providing such blows. You would have nowhere to go.

 

"Jihoon, drop it off." Wonwoo exclaimed; his voice wasn't shouting, but even with his calm voice, it was obvious the annoyance in it.

 

Distes took two steps back, wanting to cover as much distance as possible. Wonwoo didn't even look at you, but his arm found you with ease, occultating you behind him again, serving as a shield between the door that threatened to break at any moment and you.

 

His big back didn't let you see much, which a part of your brain was grateful for because it only kept you from overthinking the ways in which that shadow could hurt you.

 

You had never entered that room, or at least you didn't remember ever having done so. But the little light coming in from under the door was the only source of light, so you couldn't make out much.

 

The pitch darkness only made you feel even more anxious, and a feeling that you were being watched began to creep in with a knot in your stomach.

 

You reached out your hand to where you could see the light switch, trying as hard as you could to reach it with your fingers.

 

Just a little more...

 

"Don't even think about it." Wonwoo's voice sounded a little panicky as his eyes fell on what you were trying to do, your fingers brushing against the plastic rectangle, seconds away from turning on the light. "You want me to disappear and get trapped in here?"

 

Jihoon, as Wonwoo had called him, gave one last angry thump but quickly moved on to other doors. And it was in those moments that you remembered something...

 

"My room." You muttered in horror, your hand covering your mouth as the realization settled in.

 

"Don't worry," Wonwoo said, shaking his head. "Though it may seem so, Jihoon isn't stupid. He knows that if he gets close to such a light bomb, he'll disappear before he realizes where he's trying to enter."

"Do you think we'll be here for long?" You asked, trying to see if you could pick up any movement over your shoulder, but nothing seemed to be there.

 

"I don't think so." Wonwoo murmured, his hands going to your face and his fingers gently stroking your temple.

 

You could hear the path Jihoon was making because of how far away the knocking could be heard, and everything was going great until you heard the sound of a mirror shattering.

 

"That goddammit brat." Wonwoo sighed. "You can take a seat; it's probably going to take longer than I expected."

 

You nodded, but you made no attempt to actually sit down when some rat or spider could literally be right next to your foot.

 

"There's nothing," Wonwoo mentioned, looking over his own shoulder at you while you still remained standing. "It's just you and me here."

The space was not that big; the room looked more like a large closet than a bedroom. And his silky voice echoed between the four walls.

His steps made you follow his way even when his dark sillouete camouflaged with the darkness of the room.

You heard some sort of chair moving against the old wooded floor. "Sit." He ordered, and you did as he told you once you felt the chair hitting softly against your foot.

You didn't know, and didn't even dare to ask, how dirty and dusty that old chair was because you knew it wasn't something you brought into the house.

It felt cold and uncomfortable under your weight, and the poor chair complained once you finally settled in.

"This is my room." Wonwoo filled in the silence. He was sitting down right in front of you; his legs were crossed and his fingers interlocked. "Sorry for the mess; I was not necessarily expecting guests tonight."

 

"It's lovely." You politely replied. You could feel your heartbeat beating faster now that you realized how close you both were, with his ankles accidentally bumping yours. He quickly apologized for this, moving as far away into the chair he was using as possible.

 

"How do you know?" He asked, and you could tell there was a hint of a teasing smile on his face because of his tone. "Human eyes cannot see when it's this dark."

 

You chocked with your own saliva once his words were registered by your brain, suddenly feeling a little bit too hot. You were thankful for the darkness of the room; at least he could not see your embarrassed state.

"I never knew this room was occupied before." You mumbled, moving on the chair, still uncomfortable when you felt his eyes on your every move.

 

"Well, I don't like to be as noisy as Jeonghan or as explosive as Jihoon." He replied.

His voice was mesmerizing, and with each word he spoke, it crept to connect with the other.

 

He cleared his throat as footsteps sounded near the door. Someone sighed, and they began to sound further away from the room.

 

"Who...?" You began, but Wonwoo didn't need to hear more to know what it was you were trying to ask.

 

"Jeonghan," he muttered, his body stretching toward some piece of furniture he had near him, because you could hear a drawer dezlising and the rattle of a package. "I'm sure he came to get this."

Something brushed against your hand, and you jumped in your seat, your back suddenly slamming against the backrest.

 

You quickly discovered it was a package of your favorite snacks.

 

"He was already finishing them, so I hid the remaining ones here."

 

"And how does he know they are here? What if he tries to get in here just like the other one?"

Wonwoo shook his head. "He won't. He's not like Jihoon; he knows how to respect private space. It's just that he thinks everything in the kitchen or common spaces around the house is for everybody to take and use."

"Then why don't you open the door to give them to him? I can buy more later anyway." You ask him; you didn't mean to sound as judgy as the words that came out of your mouth.

"Because I don't trust you to not lose your calm and to turn the lights on. I don't want to die just because of Jeonghan, you know."

Wonwoo had stood up, leaning against the door, and without even seeing his face, you could see that his eyes were on you, undisguised.

You were a little intimidated by how tall he was.

"My parents are going to wake up if they keep making such a fuss."

"I'd be more worried that they weren't sleeping in Hyowun's bed. Your grandmother had let her have her own room because she hated having her space used."

"Who is Hyowun?" you asked worriedly, already standing up, ready to open the door and face whatever was in there.

"There's no way you alone can go in there and make him understand what he's supposed to do. In his mind, you're invading his personal space."

"Then what do I do?"

"A deal with me." Wonwoo proposed, his hand outstretched.

[nighttime-tea-party]

since you say youve been in the kuro fandom even before BoC aired, could you tell me about how it was back then? :D ive always been interested in learning how internet culture used to be, how things eventually changed, how they improved/declined etc, more so when the current community is pretty much dead. was there an experience that marked you, what do you remember most fondly? was there an event that excited the fandom more than any other (like the release of a chapter or smth)? which blogs were the most popular? Its okay if you dont want to tho, i understand!

Super interesting question! I hope I can provide some equally interesting information in return.

Before the fandom had reached Tumblr, much of it centred around a forum, or at least much of what I knew. It wasn't originally a Kuroshitsuji forum but a sub-forum of a Bleach forum, actually. I think it was called Bleach Asylum? And I don't know exactly how it came to be but I think that Bleach forum had lots of sub forums for then-popular anime and manga but Kuroshitsuji gained so much popularity and the fandom happened to gather there, so that sub forum really took off and it ended up being an anchor point for the fandom. I used to always look for the most recent scanlations there, back before we were able to buy them legally.

I didn't actively participate in that forum but I lurked occasionally. It was full of wild discussions, one of which was the "two Ciel(s) theory"/"2CT" as it was called back then. It had a strong following on the website back then already. I sadly don't remember any of the other theories that were making rounds back then...

I didn't really participate in much fandom stuff back then, limited my art posts to deviantArt and my personal facebook... but eventually, I made a tumblr specifically to interact with the fandom.

As for blogs, I don't really like doing any name dropping, especially because it would go into some people who used to ship sebaciel and turned anti, and other stuff I'd rather not talk about. I do feel like back in the day, there were a couple of gigantic Kuroshitsuji blogs with massive followings that got a LOT of asks every day (to the point where it seemed like a full time job to keep up with them). Discussion around sebaciel was very different, there have always been people who disliked it but unfounded rumours like "did you know that Kuroshitsuji was supposed to be a yaoi" made rounds without people questioning it. That always annoyed me a little tbh haha.

There was one fan artist on deviantArt whose name I sadly don't remember but I think they were THE kuro artist in Western fandom back then because their style looked very similar to the anime style. I still see their art sometimes.

And fun fact on the side, I grew up in German fandom spaces and we had a big website called Animexx (I think it's still around) that was dedicated specifically to all things manga, anime, and related stuff. They had really convenient ways of browsing on-site fanart, fanfic, doujinshi, cosplay, and other fan creations, as well as forums and ways to host your own fan events. Until the early 2010s, I hung out there a lot so until then, my perspective is distorted by that German lens. I used to post my early Kuroshitsuji fanart there too.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! I feel like I could go on tangents for much longer but idk how interesting that would be.

[ladyhindsight]

i know this isnt rlly ur thing but the fandom is so cooked............ just trying to exist as an anti incest fan is impossible i constantly get told off by other fans im stupid and too serious or missing the symboism idk the fans make me think im takin crazy pills its crazy cause sometimes i think ur too harsh on cc but like the incest stuff i agree with and 4 some reason thats the hardest opinion for fans 2 accept idgi incest is worse than cassandra bein repetitive??

In general, it is problematic to declare certain views as correct under the guise of then ignoring differing ones. Why would some readers get to decide what is too serious and, for what even, stupid? What makes positive views towards the books more respectable and virtuous than those offering valid criticism? What gives the right to hand-wave the concerns some readers have just because you have no issue with them and raise that point above all others? When you suppress the opinions of others and tower over them by dictating how a book should be interpreted and liked, you are less likely to get those who think contrary interested in your views, albeit positive or negative.

Some of the opinions I’ve contested (for instance, those concerning the incest theme or the repetitive nature of Clare’s writing) and that I’ve ever come across seem (personally) to be approached superficially to some extent, sometimes even in untruthful way because of the incapability to understand where the criticism in question even comes from or how it even came about. It is easier to compare two seemingly similar things than to understand their meaning in their own contexts.

I know that no one really wants to acknowledge or listen to anything negative about what they love so much. It seems to be a downright personal insult or attack on your character when something so important and special to you is criticized. For which I think it’s important to separate yourself from that, know who you are and what you think and why, to recognize that something can be shit and improved and what more and that you still like it and/or are entertained by it.

Fiction is the place to safely entertain ideas so far out of our own lives, to challenge our thinking and ethics and moral even. So it’s not necessarily the content of a work that’s interesting or disturbing but rather the implementation of different elements and how they are executed with the rest of what makes a story. And that’s usually where I find my criticism towards Clare rising. Not what is included rather than how it is carried out and presented in the context of this particular author’s writing.

Everyone is entitled and free to their own opinions, as well as to how they consider and value others. It’s the tone of expression and how you treat people in face of disagreement that’s more noteworthy, I think. During the earlier years of the blog, I did receive messages from readers who were less than pleased with its contents or my approach on criticizing Clare’s writing, but I’ve always said and will always say that I’m just one person on the internet offering opinions, viewpoints, and criticism, and whether someone finds that helpful or not is not for me to decide. Though I am endlessly glad for all the people who interact and have interacted with me here and offered wider perspective and insights on different topics concerning TSC.

I don’t know what wisdom to offer, if any, but maybe it’s easier and brings less weariness to just do your own thing and engage less with the readership that does not welcome that type of discussion. I’ve personally had to do a lot of work on reflecting on things that I liked and their relationship to me (Clare’s works as the glaring example here), and coming to terms with that is not an overnight experience. Sometimes it’s also easier on yourself to think I disagree and move on than trying to understand each individual psychology behind every opinion.

I get that I’m sometimes harsh in my critiques. It’s just that I get feelings and the snark comes out, and I’m prone to hyperbole in terms of humor, so the end result is what it is. I’m not entirely happy and more disappointed in retrospect how I’ve conducted myself on some instances while trying to find the proper words and tone when approaching whatever the topic is at hand. And sometimes it doesn’t work and things go to shit. I’m good at being mean to words on paper, but it’s not how I want to be when talking and messaging with real people. :’)

[i-am-totally-not-a-lizard]

*looks at you like a kid in bed awaiting a bedtime story* what was reddit like…?

Ahh my old home... It was beautiful... Well actually not really it kinda sucked but it was home. After a long day of hard work I would kick back and relax by immediately getting into arguments with conservatives about whether or not I deserve to exist, spending all night moderating every new post made to r/familyguyporn (erm... You broke rule #274, how dare you, permabanned for life), and visiting 30 different subreddits only to see the same unfunny joke recycled and reposted for the thousandth time!

Haha but seriously though it wasn't all bad I actually really enjoyed my time there. If Reddit ever becomes not stupid again there's really great communities on there and it provides a much more structured and useful method of interacting with interests you like. There are some great communities that I honestly can't find comparable groups to on Tumblr that I wish I didn't have to continue using Reddit or a discord server to keep in touch with.

If you guys ever want to see what's up with Reddit I'd highly recommend r/196 (currently not allowing posts but maybe someday, also it's just fun to look through the old posts) and its little sister subreddits r/691 and r/19684 because they have a similar Tumblr (queer, lefty, shitposty) vibe, it's where most of the Reddit refugees on here came from initially. Also r/Tumblr and r/curatedTumblr (both private right now), because it's just reposts of Tumblr screenshots so the people there would probably be more accepting of you little tumbleweeds. r/wunkus (silly cats and stuff, I love that sub so much, criminally underrated). r/vexillologycirclejerk and r/mapporncirclejerk (private) are some of my favorite communities and I'm sad there's not a similar big community here. They're pretty left wing and focus on shitposting and jokes about flags and maps, they're very funny but some of the jokes get old quick. As well as literally any community you can think of! I swear, no matter how niche your interest is, there's probably a subreddit for it. And if there isn't, you can make it!

I'd avoid major shitposting subs, as that seems to be where the 'edgy teenage suburban white boy with unlimited internet access' archetype tends to congregate. I'd also avoid sorting by controversial in the comments when LGBT people get brought up on mainstream subs. Reddit takes itself a lot more seriously than Tumblr does and people will not be afraid to argue with you. A lot. Also you get punished with downvotes if people don't like what you say.

Anyways that was a lot. I hope Reddit stops being dumb because it's honestly hard to replace and it's such a great place to find things and people that you're interested in. Not to mention if you have a very specific question about basically anything, Reddit will literally save your life. I like Tumblr a lot, but Reddit will always be near and dear to my heart.

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

Some thoughts about the in-universe “Amazing Digital Circus”

I’ve been seeing a lot of people posit a lot of interesting theories about the exact nature of the Circus and it’s relevance to the show’s universe, and after a brief conversation with @robotoast03, I’ve come to some conclusions of my own:

The Amazing Digital Circus is an in-universe urban legend

My working theory is that TADC was a VR video game being developed as some sort of gaming revolution in the field of player immersion and interaction through VR headsets, but it was shelved and fell by the wayside after a number of “unfortunate workplace accidents”. Because of the nature of the “accidents”, the C&A company probably sunk a lot of time and resources into covering them up, more than likely leading to it closing down because of bankruptcy and/or controversy. Sometime after all of this occurred, either because someone from the company leaked information or there was an ad campaign prior to the coverups and the company going under, people started looking into TADC. This inevitably caused more people to meet the unfortunate fate of getting trapped in the VR world, which quickly led to a “Lavender Town Syndrome” or “Polybius” style rumor about whoever played the game just disappearing not long after. As more people looked into it and started giving their personal accounts and opinions, it eventually spiraled into a full blown conspiracy theory that is heatedly debated on certain corners of the internet, which could have had a hand in most of the cast getting trapped.

This theory has also led me to another idea (buckle up, it’s gonna get weird):

The show takes place in a copy of the Amazing Digital Circus game, possibly the only one ever made

My reasoning for this takes into account the show’s aesthetics being similar to a 90s/early 2000s computer game and that one promotional image of Jax playing a Nintendo 64 console in a room full of paraphernalia from that era. Not to mention the rundown appearance of the C&A offices seen in the pilot and the fact those same offices use old model computers that were prevalent during the 90s, which fits the typical appearance of a long abandoned business. Given these key visual cues, I think that the in-universe game was developed at some point during that period of time, and I feel it’s reasonable to presume that the game has some of the constraints present in games of that period. Specifically that, as a 90s game (even one advanced enough to utilize VR headsets and run sentient AIs), it is unlikely that the game was connected to an online server, let alone one which multiple people playing their own copies of the game could get stuck in the same digital world through. If this really is the case, I like to think that the copy of the game was somehow indirectly passed down from one member of the cast to the next.

Edit: A thought that just crossed my mind that could back up this theory: if The Amazing Digital Circus game was well known in-universe and ran on an online server, more people would regularly be getting trapped. Given how everyone acted when Pomni showed up, it would stand to reason that a new performer showing up is a rather infrequent occurrence. From as far as I can ascertain, there has been less then twenty performers in the circus including the main cast, and each of them probably appeared one at a time, with perhaps some exceptions here and there.

TLDR: I probably just word vomited a lot of nonsense, but I thought I should share it. If anyone else has any ideas for or against this theory, I’m more than happy to hear them.