#the moral of frankenstein isn't science bad

[firespirited]

I’ve never feared the Roko’s basilisk or Skynet, the same way Del Toro’s not scared of the horror monsters.

because whether it comes from AI or outer space, we’re going to organize the anthill into math patterns and gifts and we’ll tame each other like The Little Prince and the fox... or not

If after all that it eats us, or explodes the planet to make an intergalactic highway, that was going to happen anyway.

It’s like in Star Trek, The one with the Whales, all we can do is work on having a welcoming environment and something to show for the traits that make us different from other apes.

Besides, I trust logic based sentience over our power-mad billionaires any day.

[that-ari-blogger]

This Is About Relationships (Hell's Greatest Dad)

I feel like we are seeing more and more stories that draw on horror elements as of recent times, with mixed success.

Critical Role, for example, has put some heavy emphasis on body and cosmic horror in their most recent campaigns, and I think that has worked really well. They are telling a story about feeling powerful in the face of adversity, and so having villains who are either unknowable or far too knowable really works for that idea.

On the other hand, the horror elements of Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness actively took me out of the story, because they didn’t fit with the rest of the franchise at all, and I found that rather jarring.

Then there is Hazbin Hotel, which isn’t scary, but it definitely draws on some of the tools of writing horror. Although it doesn't do that in the way you might expect. Specifically, it uses the character of Lucifer to both embody and subvert the very nature of Gothic horror itself.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Hazbin Hotel, Ratatouille, Paradise Lost, Frankenstein)

I have made my stance on genre extremely clear in the past. I think it exists, but I think it is bollocks, and Hazbin Hotel kind of proves my point.

Because, yes, you can boil Horror down into however many constituent parts as you would like in order to organise a bookstore, but however you spin it, Hazbin Hotel fits that, with the exception that it isn’t scary.

Then again, being scary is entirely subjective. For example, I am completely fine with ghosts and ghouls, so the only thing that gets me about games such as Phasmophobia are the jump scares, and Jump Scares aren't horror. By the same score, I am incredibly squeamish, so Hazbin Hotel itself was more difficult for me than a few of my friends.

Which leads me to gothic horror, which has a distinct aesthetic to it that isn’t actually essential at all.

The name actually comes from its aesthetic. Gothic fiction got started in the 1700s when Gothic architecture was popular but gained traction in the early 1800s when authors such as Edgar Alen Poe and Jane Austin got involved. The latter of whom wrote Northanger Abbey in 1818 to parody the overdramatization of the genre in a book that I personally despise.

Austin’s book comes across to me as incredibly insincere. I have an infinite respect for Austin’s work, but there is a deep sense of contempt in Northanger Abbey that drives me up the wall.

I want to be clear here, this is not me saying the book is bad. It is incredibly well written. I just hate it with every fibre of my being.

To me, Northanger Abbey missed the point of the gothic genre. Gothic isn't about the emotion, it's about the humanity. The fallibility, the force of will, the instability and resilience that come and go like the wind.

Gothic horror turns that into fear, specifically the fear of morality. It’s the Ratatouille genre. Any angel can sin, any demon can rise. Or in other words:

“Anyone can cook.”

Gothic horror is the fear of inconsistency. That someone you trust can betray you, or spiral into awful deeds, or that someone you despise might be right. It’s the fear of redemption, and conversely, the terror of good motives leading to bad ends.

Other subsets of horror draw on the fear of the unknown, or of not knowing. Gothic fiction is steeped in the terror of what you know being wrong.

Case and point, Frankenstein is both the archetypal science fiction book, and a phenomenal Gothic story. The terror is derived from the fact that it’s titular character can be so great and yet such an absolute monster, as well as the horror of creating a conscience.

The creature is intelligent, and its intrinsic morality is up for debate the entire time. Frankenstein calls it his "Adam", for Pete's sake. It kills multiple people, but as a reader you are unsettled by how much you agree with its motives.

Gothic horror is the fear of absence. There is no good or evil here, just people.

There’s a reason I brought up Ratatouille. The conflict of the series is derived from Skinner’s visceral fear that someone he despises as much as Linguine can actually be competent, combined with a field rat rising from the gutter to run a restaurant. “Anyone can cook” is a threat in this movie, but it gets better explained by Ego in a way that I really like.

“In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto: ‘Anyone can cook.’ But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.”

According to one of the greatest fanfics ever written, Paradise Lost, Lucifer rebelled against G-d’s vision and fell, which can be taken any number of ways. It’s written so that you sympathise with the main character, who is, may I remind you, the literal devil.

Worth noting, Frankenstein's monster reads Paradise Lost. I wonder if there is any significance to that.

Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel is nominally the same character as his biblical counterpart, except that he is blissfully unaware of any of the themes surrounding him. Kinda.

He has grasped the fact that anyone can fall, but the reverse of that hasn’t quite registered to him yet.

Case and point, he doesn’t understand people at all. He has sought escapism through “stuff”. By which I mean the ducks, but I also mean his song, Hell’s Greatest Dad.

Part of the gothic theming in Hazbin Hotel is that people aren’t static, and that relationships are more important than anything else. Angel Dust and Pentious don’t become better people through trust falls, the find it through love and companionship, both platonic and more than platonic.

To demonstrate this, we contrast Lucifer with Alastor, who once again doesn’t sing his own song but steals it off someone else. Alastor’s relationship with Charlie is so obviously sinister, and that will be better explained two episodes down the line, but at least he has a relationship with her.

The agony of this is that Jeremy Jordan is a phenomenal voice actor, who, along with Lucifer’s stellar writing, endears the character to you from his first scene.

Alastor is a villain; Lucifer is an absent father. Who do you side with here? That’s gothic fiction.

“Sailors fighting in the dance hall, Oh man, look at those cavemen go. It’s the freakiest show. Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man, wonder if he’ll ever know He's in the best selling show. Is there life on Mars?”

This is the chorus of a David Bowie song called Life On Mars. It centres around someone seeking escape through television and storytelling. It points out the futility of this, but the fact that it works. It’s a stable dynamic that doesn’t go anywhere.

Remind you of anything?

“Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? Michelin tasting menu, free à la carte I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to start!”

Lucifer is offering Charlie anything she could dream of. Any thing. But Charlie doesn’t need an object. She needs a father, and she needs her relationship with Lucifer.

Enter Alastor, who, up to this point, has been generally benevolent to Charlie. He’s basically the embodiment of that old Tumblr textpost that described someone as “chaotic gay. I haven’t done anything evil yet, but my general aesthetic and demeanour tell you that I will, any day now.”

Side note, I know this post exists. I have seen it, I have screenshots of it. But Tumblr’s search function is so legendarily awful that I cannot locate it. Tumblr’s search function has beaten the FBI before, and I don’t have that much patience.

In any case, Alastor offers up his own curriculum vitae in the form of this:

“Who’s been here since day one? Who’s been faithful as a nun? Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun? Your executive producer.”

He’s pitching himself via his relationship with Charlie. But what I wanted to point out specifically was how the two characters relate to the beat of the song.

This song is inspired by Friend Like Me. I know it's subtle, but I'm onto something, and I can pick out the clues. If you look closely at his moustache in this shot...

Lucifer is clicked to the rhythm, or rather, his backing music is. The band hits ever downbeat as one, looping back to play the same thing every few bars. It is incredibly stable. The one thing that isn’t, is Lucifer.

The man misses every single beat by a fraction of a second. Not much, but when you contrast him with the entirely of the rest of the song, you notice that tiny imperfection, especially when Alastor doesn’t share it.

Alastor starts singing by matching the beat perfectly with his opening sounds, then going free within the restraints. Later, when he co-opts the song, the band begins playing along with him and matching his melody.

The Radio Demon understands people incredibly well, and he works on relationships. As such, his music has a much more symbiotic relationship between each of the parts. Lucifer’s feels like a creation, Alastor’s feels like it was created, if that makes sense. There’s a human element to Alastor’s take on this song.

Which brings me back to the gothic stuff going on here, and the relationship between Lucifer and Alastor. Alastor is, of course, a manipulator. He takes issue with Lucifer because he wants Charlie isolated. But Lucifer has no reason to get upset by Alastor, right?

Alastor shakes up Lucifer’s entire worldview, to the point where I find some of the double dad dynamic between them rather compelling. Most of it.

Alastor is risk incarnate; he stands for the idea that anyone can do anything. A radio presenter can be a cannibal, and have parenting instincts take over with Nifty and at times Charlie. But he is unsafe. Because he is such an unknown, he is untrustworthy. You don’t know where you stand.

Lucifer, meanwhile, is terrified of this fact. He likes the safety of knowing where he stands, he can protect himself there, but he can also protect others. In my eyes, that’s why he was so absent with Charlie. He found something he could understand and kept it because he didn’t want to shake up the rhythm. But that was futile, and he realises this over the course of this episode.

But you might say “wait, Alastor is ace, he can’t be with Lucifer,” and my answer is twofold. First up, I am ace too, that doesn’t prohibit relationships. I’m not even talking about romantic stuff here, Alastor is the poster boy for being aromantic, but more importantly, parenting isn’t just about the other parent.

The two can both be dads, joined by their mutual care for their daughter, rather than affection for each other. I find that compelling. Charlie needs both the security and the sign that everything is possible. She needs someone to lift her up, but she also needs someone to catch her when she falls, and Lucifer and Alastor both play different roles in that dynamic.

Any angel can sin, any demon can rise. Anyone can be a dad, anyone can cook.

Final Thoughts

Jeremy Jordan is a global treasure and even if this series doesn’t stick the landing with its next season (we will see), Lucifer will be amazing.

Do I have a crush on this man? No. No, I do not. Why do you ask?

In all seriousness, I think episode five should have been two episodes. One for this song, and one for the next. Lucifer would join the Hotel’s crew for a few days, befriending Pentious and co., being utterly disrespected by Husk, and being eased into the fact that morality isn’t binary.

I don’t even mean this from just the pacing perspective, I think the series would have so much more thematic weight if it devoted more time to the literal devil learning the thesis of the series and becoming on board with redemption. I think that would be cool.

I'm also just now realising that this is a Gothic Horror musical, so of course Alex Brightman got cast in it.

In any case, next week is More Than Anything, which is yet another case study in why Jeremy Jordan is amazing. Stick around if that interests you.

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[thepig16]

Copycat Conundrum

Prologue

a little bit of context: this story takes place in the Splatlands around september 2023!

“Why? Why did you ruin him?!”

Mason exclaimed from a higher ground. C-7K was as good as gone now, and it was her fault. Elle looked up in his direction, clearly angered. Otto wanted this update, he was practically begging for it, as well as a cyborg could beg. He was out of date and rusting, Elle couldn't just sit there and watch it grow worse!

“Ruin? No no no, we fixed him. He was so out of date and his suit was rusting, so we updated his code, gave him a new suit, an aerospray that actually works, and overall made him work and operate better, so now he isn't running on the cyborg equivalent of Windows 95!”

Mason looked on in disgust, but did not have a chance to add his opinion before Elle continued.

“He was neglected, just like your other creations. You have a habit of that, you know? You just toss your work aside when it isn't the way you want it! Believe me, I KNOW how it feels to be neglected and abandoned by the people who created you, and it fucking sucks! I believe no being, whether organic or mechanical, should ever have to feel like that.”

“Spare me your sentimental nonsense! You kidnapped him!”

“No I didn't! Otto CAME to ME! He knew I would do it, and I did!

“It's ‘C-7K’! You programmed him to think otherwise, didnt you?”

Elle rolled her eyes in annoyance. Would he ever get the point? She wasn't trying to steal him, it just pained her to see something with so much potential go to waste!

“No, I didn't. He CHOSE to go by Otto again, as he told me he felt like I gave him a part of his humanity back!”

Mason looked down, angered. He slowly scaled down the platform he was standing on, and approached Elle. Now, Otto was just another thing Elle could get right and he couldn't. No matter how much he studied her work and tech, he could never understand why her stuff worked and his didn't.

“Oh great, now he's just one of your ‘perfect’ and ‘no flaw’ creations! Believe it or not, I know what I'm doing! We might have different ideas, but we share the same goal as inventors!”

“Mason, Name one thing other than Otto that didn't immediately blow up in your face.”

“The creation of Rebel! Sure, it didn't exactly go to plan, but he didn't explode!”

“Metaphorically it sure as hell did! He fuckin’ hates you! Sure, I’ll give you props for creating organic life, Frankenstein style as I'm no bio science nerd, But it wouldn't have hurt to try and care for or about him! Instead of tossing him to the side!”

Mason crossed his arms and turned his head.

“Whatever. I don't need YOU to tell me how flawed MY inventions are! C-7K was perfect until you and that good-for-nothing octoling ruined him!”

Elle’s eyes widened slightly, before looking at Mason, her vacant eyes now filled with anger. She raised her inkbrush, as if ready to strike him.

“Good for nothing? That is my SON and don't you DARE spit on his name!”

“You’re not even his mother! He isn't biologically connected to you, so you have no right to call yourself his mom!”

“Oh wow, is that the same fucking mindset you have about Rebel? Just because you two don't share any DNA does not mean you’re not responsible for him! Whether or not you care to admit it, Rebel is YOUR son, and you need to take responsibility.”

Mason looked down at Elle, slightly amused how she got all worked up about her ‘son’.

“You know what? Enjoy your new little cyborg you stole from me while he lasts. I’ll be back to take back what's mine.”

With those words, Mason spun on his heel and super-jumped away, back towards his lab. Elle slowly lowered her brush, letting the anger fizzle out, and process what just happened. She began to wonder if what she did was bad, and to her, Zach, Talon, and Ruby, it wasn't. She saw someone in need of help, and she helped! Before she could think anymore on the morality of the situation, she turned and jumped to the palace to her workshop, to find Ruby and Zach.

~~~

Thanks for reading this short little blurb from my big project; COPYCAT CONUNDRUM! this project is being written by me and a few friends, with the help of outside opinions like yours! i’d love some feedback, and i have some illustrations of points throughout the story on my instagram page here!

thanks again for taking the time to read, and stay tuned for more Copycat Conundrum!

[argentumcor]

Jurassic World Dominion and the Failure to Understand the Themes of Jurassic Park

That's right. Jurassic Park has themes. Crichton has been accused of constantly rewriting Frankenstein, which isn't quite true- State of Fear is not that; I recommend that book if you're in the mood for something that makes fun of the spirit of our age in a delightfully mean way. The movies changed a lot but they maintained his core themes pretty well- until Dominion, Fallen Kingdom's, uh, narrative incoherence aside (should have been about Owen, not Claire again).

What are the themes of Jurassic Park? In no particular order and probably not exhaustive:

Science cannot solve every problem.

Man is very bad at being God and when we try, people die horribly.

Humanity is not capable of understanding, let alone controlling, complex systems, and needs to respect these facts.

Nature is mean.

Materialism has made for a really shitty ethics system, to say the least.

You can quibble, but Crichton and the JP movies aren't subtle. It was brilliant to make Ian Malcom so much to take personally, and someone who likes to say "I told you so" too much to take action, because he is right a lot but is clearly not an author's pet and has the moral flaw of not acting before bad things happen.

Jurassic World has a lot of flaws as a follow-up, but it imperfectly maintains these themes until Dominion, where it precedes to blow them up. The owners of Jurassic World can't help to keep dabbling in forces they can't understand and the raptors are still dangerous and smart and not something to toy with. It doesn't take a lot for the park to go to hell really fast.

The first part of Fallen Kingdom is dumb. Claire is not the sort of character who would go off to care about "dinosaur rights", which was deeply stupid, and all her big and pretty well executed character development happened in the first movie. It should have been Owen's story, with them being together and him getting talked into going back to get the dinosaur he has an emotional connection with.

The part with the little girl, Maisie, is more interesting and fits the themes better. It comes to light she is a clone of old man Lockwood's daughter, who passed away young, and that Hammond split off from Lockwood (no relation to the young handsome ghost hunter hero) because he saw this as an abomination. Which it is. Maisie herself is not an abomination- she's a person- but her conception was.

Maisie was created as an object. Her 'grandfather' wanted to defy death and bring his daughter back to life. He did not want Maisie; he wanted his daughter. That he might have grown to love Maisie as herself does not negate what his goal was. It's twisted. From the moment of her conception, she was treated as an object- the same as the dinosaurs, hence her sympathy for them (Owen and Claire still should have told her letting them out was really stupid and wrong, because it was; people died). The process to create Maisie and the Indoraptor showed no respect for the natural order.

Now we come to Dominion.

Humanity has been mucking around with forces beyond its ken again, using a materialistic ethical framework that has gone badly wrong again and is going to get worse. Locusts, you imbeciles...the people who advised the use of fucking locusts must have been the products of a post-modern educational system.

Of course, Dr. Wu in his newfound and much, much belated ethical torment concludes he can fix this mistake of genetic manipulation with even more genetic manipulation. Super easy, barely an inconvenience (seriously, it was harder to flip the circuit breakers in Jurassic Park than sort out this locust mess).

Do you know how they sorted out Jurassic Park's mistakes of genetic manipulation in the book? They firebombed it. Because its creation was hubris of the highest order and its hazard was incalculable. It needed to be eradicated. And it still didn't solve the problem, because the raptors got off the island (and started spreading a mysterious disease). Science cannot solve every problem. Indeed, humanity cannot solve every problem. Some things are beyond our control, no matter how much we try.

My theory is that in 2022, the themes of Jurassic Park were...disallowed by the Hollywood zeitgeist for multiple reasons. The very big one, occurring during filming, was the pandemic. To say that something like a plague of locusts could not be solved by science would be...a message that would not be allowed. I have no idea if there were rewrites. Also it is long disallowed to find materialistic ethics systems wanting, though these days I feel entertainment dares to dabble in the shallow end of that.

The thing that really gets me about Dominion is the retcon of Maisie's origin, or rather the motives for her origin. Her mother (genetic twin sister) had her made...to be able to give herself a second try after her genetic disease killed her? To experience being pregnant before she died? To claim she was a mother (notice no man at all in the picture, so the kid would have no parents)? As a genetic experiment about super extra special gene modification?

None of this is better than the original version of Maisie's conception, but it is framed in an intensely sentimental fashion. Maisie is the product of something twisted, she was made as an object for someone and not a person, a child, and this should bother her. Her learning to live with that being the reason people had her made is more interesting than her learning oh, the woman she is the clone of was her mother and wanted her to go out and truly live and now she's just okay with this.

I think Crichton would have really enjoyed exploring a character with this problem. It's common in super soldier narratives and such, so it isn't wholly unexplored. Dominion just opted skip out on the...casual cruelty of Maisie's conception. The fact that it was mankind acting like it was God, with the best of intentions, and treating a human being as an object to be used for its own ends (legacy, betterment of mankind, vague and unfulfillable desire to be a mother because she would be dead, pick your motive) from the moment she was conceived is just glossed over with weepy girl-power sentiment.

This all neglects the bad pacing and other issues with Dominion. It's just such a post-modern movie, where before the franchise hewed to a pre-modern morality. It makes me mad because Jurassic Park said something important about science and humanity's role in the world. Dominion offers sentimental "mankind can do anything" mush that isn't true and hurts more than it helps.

As a species, we are capable of amazing things. But we are not God. Life and death are not ours to command. We cannot fix all problems we face. These are not simply moral opinions, these are laws of the universe with perhaps greater rigidity than that of gravity. Humility in the face of this benefits us far more than charging in to muck about with nature as if we can control it utterly- or to batter other about as if- if they would just do x, y, and z- everything would be perfect. It also prepares us for the bitter shocks of life, because we understand that we simply cannot control or even understand so many things.

[gaykarstaagforever]

SPOILERS FOR THE SECRET OF NIMH, A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT THE YEAR I WAS BORN SO IT IS VERY OLD AND I'M PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE WHO HASN'T SEEN IT BEFORE NOW:

They cut out the poisoning of the rose bush??

That's like...the ENTIRE POINT of the story! The rats get comfortable with their intelligence and forget that humans will always consider them a disposable problem in need of eradication! Like their sophistication and empathy is rewarded with DEATH, because the NIMH people (and humans in general) are horrible monsters who create affronts to God! The rats are Frankensteins and we cannot abide them! The experiments were a mistake! All of this was a cautionary tale!

And they cut it out. And replaced it with Mrs. Frisby using a magic necklace to gain wizard powers and move her stupid house.

Look. I get that in this adaptation, they decided to make the NIMH rats techno-wizards. That's fine. And you don't have to explain how the hell that works. In fact it is better if you don't. But only if the NIMH rats are the only ones with telekinetic powers. You can't give them inexplicable magical artifacts that give random mice the Force. I need SOMETHING to explain that. And there's nothing here.

This movie suffers from the Don Bluth Dilemma. Which is, fucking indescribably gorgeous animation, art direction, and shot composition, utterly comulent characters and story pacing, and shit attempts at humor. Nearly every movie he has ever made is that. And I don't understand why he had such difficulty with everything on the writing side. Hire someone who is good at writing, Don. This is a bizarre problem to keep having.

The ending should have been the evil NIMH rat refusing to leave the bush, and dying of the poison. All that nonsense about him sabotaging the house moving, and then immediately declaring himself Evil and attacking everyone, is confusing and stupid. And it wasn't in the book. You changed a thing and made it worse, and I have no idea why. Just adapt the book. The book was fine.

In the book they move her house and that's the end of it. Which is weird anyway. You're a mouse, Frisby. Dig a new hole on the other side of the rock and move the kid's bed into it. I fail to see what magical healing properties the cinder block has.

That's like the thing from the book and movie where being hyper-intelligent makes the rats feel bad for stealing electricity from the farmer. Like being injected with science drugs taught them to read English and also gain down-to-Earth Midwestern capitalistic sensibilities. You can make an argument defending that, but I'm not sure you should.

The Secret of NIMH is a beautiful movie, and its a solid B-tier. Until the last 10 minutes, when it craps out. There is no moral or point to any of this the way it ends, except "wouldn't it be cool if mice were tiny wizards?" Which...I mean...YES, but if you were aiming for that, lean into it. Because as a movie about wizard mice, there isn't enough of that and it sucks.

So I give it a C- overall. Beautiful, but totally shoots itself in the foot by being a pointlessly bad adaptation of the source material.

Like, the very last scene is the unfunny comic relief crow getting laid. A girl crow just shows up. That was a priority. But the gassing of the rose bush? Pfffft. Who needs that?

I don't understand you, Bluth. So close, but always so far...

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Meena

Tommy: [Late enough that the clean up is done and she could've potentially heard about some of the drama but not late enough that if there's a mcwalsh party whereby Ali gets knocked up that he wouldn't already be drunk at that feels like a starting point] Tommy: Cá mbeidh tú ag fliúchadh na seamróige? 🍀🧡💚 Meena: I was about to go down to the restaurant, just hang out there Meena: Caleb and Drew were going to some party but I was not invited so 🤷 Meena: What are you all up to? Tommy: 🍻🥃 Tommy: but the vibe's more drinking ourselves to death, doubt you want an invite either, like Meena: I think that's most people's vibe but they sound happier/more in denial about it...? Tommy: Yeah, it's casually cultural Meena: Yeah? Tommy: You're not feeling patriotic today? Meena: I don't really vibe it any day Meena: but that's not important Tommy: that's a no for the Irish dancing then, alright Meena: We can try Meena: I look even taller when I'm not allowed to move my upper body though Tommy: 😂 Meena: no leprechauns here Tommy: any 🌈💰? Meena: no more than normal 💔 Tommy: I'll be right there then 🌈✨ Meena: That's your superpower Meena: I don't know how 🍀🧡💚 Gus has gone, you'll probably feel more at 🏡 where you are Tommy: It ain't feeling very 🏡 but 💌 received Tommy: I'll stay put, feet & upper body Meena: Why not? Tommy: long story Tommy: you'll hear the short one at 🏫 probably Meena: You don't feel like telling it, understood Meena: is there anything I can do? Tommy: I don't know how to, more like Tommy: you'd redraft it before you were done with the 1st for being too Tommy: unreadable Meena: Nonsense poetry is my specialty Tommy: Yeah? Tommy: maybe you should've been there to roll out the welcome wagon for my new sister Meena: New sister? Meena: Oh, do you mean your mum's baby Meena: not baby now, from before Tommy: she definitely ain't a baby now Meena: So, she came and it went bad Meena: I'm so sorry, Tommy Meena: how bad are we talking? Tommy: bad as it gets Meena: Is your mum alright, I mean Meena: stupid question, but Tommy: It's a fair question & I wish the answer was yeah Tommy: or there was fuck all I could do Meena: That's terrible Tommy: I've gotta go back to school, how can I? Meena: For them Meena: sometimes all you can do is give everyone a small sense of normality Meena: even when you don't want to, or think you can't go on yourself Tommy: Ali can't hold down the fort all on her own, alright, she probably can, but she shouldn't have to Meena: She won't be Meena: she has Carly, and me and Ro and, loads of people, really Meena: I promise we'll all do what we can Tommy: Don't start me on Ro, she wasn't even there Meena: Where was she? Tommy: Fuck knows Tommy: I thought she might be with you Tommy: or your brother Meena: She wasn't with me Meena: maybe Drew but I doubt it, he's been out and about everywhere all day, obviously Tommy: she'll be at home then Meena: Oh, that's a bit Meena: I understand under normal circumstances the pub on St Paddy's is not her ideal place to be but as it was Meena: anyway, that's all to say, you don't need to worry about Ali, she has a good support system to support your parents and take care of Rocky Meena: do you have people YOU can talk to and lean on at school? Tommy: yeah, Carly's ace with him & Ali to have lasted this long, like Tommy: I ain't telling anyone at school about this, loads of 'em already think I'm trash Tommy: or come from it Tommy: they've got a point now Meena: No, they don't Meena: your family are some of the best people I know Meena: you're not anything to be ashamed of Tommy: Everyone around here knows that Joe would be your brother's best customer except he don't carry the right stuff & now loads of 'em also know she's as bad, nah, worse Tommy: & that together they're Tommy: I can't even fucking go there Meena: People shouldn't judge him by that, never mind you as his family Tommy: They do though Tommy: keeping my mouth shut about it at school is my best option Meena: as long as you can express yourself and have an outlet through your work, I can't say I blame you Meena: you don't have to tell everyone everything Tommy: or anything Tommy: 🩰 will do Meena: I shouldn't say anything against words, given who I am and what I want to be but Meena: a comfortable silence can be preferable to words you're unsure of, words that hurt, or that you don't want to speak into existence Tommy: Yeah, I'd take an uncomfortable silence over that too Tommy: everyone's hurting & unsure enough Meena: if it's good enough for Maya Meena: 🤐 Tommy: I didn't mean with you Meena: You can always talk to me Meena: no matter the quality or quantity of your words Meena: you know that Tommy: okay Meena: but no rush on it Meena: obviously Meena: and I won't fill the silence with total nonsense, like Tommy: but those poems are your speciality Tommy: self proclaimed, like, but still Meena: Rude to doubt me Meena: 🥬🐢🐌👑 Tommy: Gimme one then Tommy: best shot Meena Though some at my aversion smile, I cannot love the crocodile. Its conduct does not seem to me Consistent with sincerity. Meena: 🐊💔 Tommy: He is basically a 🐍 with feet Tommy: You 🖋 that? Meena: Sadly not Meena: I'll try to write something as appropriate scathing for your brother Tommy: Or as 💔 for me, yeah? Meena: Of course Meena: what could be better to cheer you up? 😏 Tommy: as a feel good goes it's obviously unrivalled even by 🍻🎵💃🕺 Tommy: that's the level of your talent Meena: You're either that drunk or you wish you were...code red either way Meena: you could come to the restaurant though, if you actually wanted Tommy: Get ahead at waiting tables for when the West End fucks me off & over Tommy: good thinking Meena: Please Meena: your name is already in lights, I can see it Meena: 🤩 Tommy: as you said please, I'll come Meena: manners maketh the man do what you want? Meena: interesting Tommy: works on this one Tommy: how much of a man I am is up for debate, usually Meena: People are idiots Meena: and too invested in stuff that doesn't affect them whatsoever Tommy: like you said, practically a local celeb at this point Meena: still, what's going on in your tights is just not their business Tommy: that's such a you way to put that Meena: I'll choose to take that as a compliment on me having a consistent voice Meena: though the alternatives are 🤔 Tommy: take as I miss you Meena: Are you back for long? Tommy: Nah, they ain't that patriotic either Tommy: I shouldn't even be here, wouldn't have been if she wasn't coming Meena: That's shittier Tommy: maybe JC is trying to keep me humble before I get too 🤩 Meena: It's Patrick that needs to make a second coming to banish your brother 🐍🐍 Tommy: he's already done that himself Meena: Oh, that was the purpose of today then? Meena: I get it Tommy: if he had one Tommy: might have just been out of his 🧠 on whatever 💊💉🥄🚬 Tommy: or worse so 😍 over her that's all that he gives a shit about besides the above Meena: Wait Meena: he's what? Tommy: you'll hear about it soon as you get back to class, they were doing it for everyone to see Tommy: her purpose given what it did to my ma Meena: Jesus Meena: that's Meena: you're right, no words Tommy: at least he one upped Fraze, I guess Meena: does make that situation seem totally run of the mill in comparison Meena: I have heard it happens Meena: when people who are related but estranged meet Meena: it's like a thing™ Meena: not that that helps you personally, obviously Tommy: Really?! Meena: [sends articles like nerd] Tommy: fucking hell Meena: It's crazy Meena: like you know there should be some strong emotional response but you kinda get it fucked up or something Meena: I don't know, science isn't my forte Tommy: nor mine, but if anyone would get those kind of wires crossed, it would have to be him Tommy: Jesus Meena: at least he didn't have a wife and kids to leave or something like some of these people Meena: it's really sad Tommy: you didn't see her though, she's like Tommy: terrifying Meena: I don't think they have to be a hottie but it probably helps in some cases Tommy: 😂 Meena: how so though? like what was she like Tommy: Alright so if they were putting a modern twist on Frankenstein's monster for the stage she could play that, but she'd need serious anger management first Tommy: electroshock wouldn't be far off, funnily enough Meena: Okay, that does sound scary Meena: even if looks can be deceiving, is the moral my own life has hit home hard, sounds like the insides matched so Tommy: It was like if you took every teenage horror story my ma has told us, scraped off the sugarcoating and then mixed that with the worst shit Fraze has ever done when he's on one, you still wouldn't come close to the mark Meena: I know the sort you mean Meena: no matter how well Drew and Caleb think they do with protecting me, I've had plenty of people approach me asking for them, messing with me Tommy: this once I'm gutted you know what I mean then Tommy: 'cause fuck that Meena: mostly it's the former and it's stupid little kids who want some weed or pills, that's just annoying but yeah Tommy: you know boxing's footwork is dead easy, I could teach you what my dad taught me Tommy: any time you want Meena: thanks Meena: at least my height would finally work in my favour, right? Meena: better reach Tommy: bigger 🎯 too remember Tommy: you have to keep your guard up to protect that face Meena: sounds like you're saying I'm 🌚 Tommy: 😮 Tommy: that's awkward Meena: *frantically googles how to shrink head* Tommy: nah, it's awkward 'cause you grew into your head ages ago & I didn't throw you a 🥳 or anything Tommy: must of happened all of a sudden or without me realising Meena: grew into it?! Meena: so I was a bobblehead before, thanks so much 😂 Tommy: only slightly Meena: I'm only slightly 💔 then Tommy: don't be, it was endearing Tommy: you were a cute kid Meena: okay 👵 Meena: no need to patronize me Meena: my head is only literally big, not metaphorically Tommy: come on, a 🍭 is a great look Meena: Better than a pea-head Tommy: or a 🍐 head like I've got Meena: it's distinguished Meena: be gutted you don't want to be a character actor Tommy: nice save, you can teach me ⚽ when we're done with 🥊 Meena: Sounds good to me Tommy: 👍 Tommy: [show up boy cos the restaurant can't be that far from the pub surely] Meena: [have a nerdy but more chill time, Gus loves everyone he's a good egg, I say you should go to this party for the drama of it all sod it] Tommy: [agreed x 2 the restaurant would have such a nice vibe when Drew and Caleb aren't there which they obviously aren't rn and then yeah we can get more messy with it] Meena: [okay so the plan, we having a lovely time (given the circumstances tonight lol) then her boyf shows up] Tommy: [I just picture her bf being so underwhelming like no offense but he'd have to be someone that Tommy didn't clock on socials so when he realises he's like oh and then dials his campness up to 1000000 being that gay BFF stereotype which she would pick up on immediately cos that's not how he is with her except when he's hiding behind it cos things are uncomfortable between them. I just imagine him raiding Ali & Carly's makeup and wardrobe and making the gayest cocktails he can and getting Meena involved and stealing her attention] Meena: [he wouldn't be and he's also lowkey an arsehole as per her type so he wouldn't be all ❤ on her socials anyway, but all this can be a thing 'cos not seeing the gay boy as a threat and probably wants to get drunk so] Tommy: [don't beat him up Tommy you don't want her to think you're doing it for Drew and Caleb like reasons] Meena: [at least we know you two are distracted] Tommy: [thanks for also getting Carly and Ali involved in your gay antics because we all need whatever fun we can get] Meena: [until you gotta go pregnant Ali] Tommy: [lord, I hope Tommy has left by then] Meena: [lordt] Tommy: [casual 3way with your missus and the less attractive drug dealer in town] Meena: [thank god your genetics are solid underneath that mess boy] Tommy: [and we know Rio looks like Ali anyways] Meena: [you do alright out of it kids] Tommy: [it could be so much worse] Meena: [blame your dad for your insecurities grace] Tommy: [and your evil nan] Meena: [junie is just #unique like no one looking like you boy, the closest is fraze as your uncle] Tommy: [unless he looks like Caleb's dad because we don't know him] Meena: [who can say baby] Tommy: [anyway take a moment to appreciate all the Tommy and Meena dancing everyone, giving you that for free] Meena: [love that] Tommy: [soz shit bf he is a threat because their chemistry especially when they are dancing is ridiculous goodbye] Meena: [deffo gonna get mardy at that and go off to have an argument] Tommy: [are you happy now Thomas? Thought not] Meena: [awkwarddd] Tommy: [get drunker boy that'll totally make it better and not worse] Meena: [cry in the bathroom that's a mood] Tommy: [ruin your make up, oh babe] Meena: [everyone else is so wrecked you'll fit in] Tommy: [by not doing drugs you're one of the least messy] Meena: [exactly dr phil] Meena: [the next day] Meena: Have a safe flight back Tommy: Cheers, I'll probably just 💤 Meena: Can't blame you Tommy: did you get any? Meena: Yeah, I'm fine Meena: had to get up early to clean the restaurant though so not as much as I'd ideally want Tommy: had another 🌱🍏🍈🥬🌿🍐🥝🥒🌼 juice, yeah? Tommy: that's pretty patriotic, you know Tommy: better late than never, like Tommy: throw 🍊🍑🥕 in there too & you're sorted Meena: Yeah, I bet EVERYONE in this fair nation is starting a juice cleanse this AM, not having a fry-up, nah Tommy: 😏 Tommy: green eggs & ham would keep you in theme Meena: 🤢 Tommy: fair 🍳🥞🧇🥓🥐🥯🍞 then Tommy: take your pick Meena: are you gonna post it to me? Tommy: be messy if you're having 🍳 or 🥞 but saves me having to use any words Meena: Probably best to stick to non-perishables Meena: best option for us both, like Tommy: Yeah Meena: How was it, this morning Meena: before you left Tommy: how you'd expect Meena: Yeah Tommy: Bea has to leave too so Fraze's dramatics will take centre stage for a sec but Meena: Distraction is probably the best technique for right now Tommy: worked last night Meena: I bet the parties you have in London are even better Tommy: only 'cause we 🩰 ain't supposed to be partying Meena: and what's more fun than prohibition, sure Tommy: forbidden 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥝 juice is my fave, can't lie Meena: 🙄😏 Meena: enjoy Tommy: you're not supposed to give me your blessing, sucks the fun right out Tommy: forbidden, remember Meena: I'm not a teacher Tommy: yeah you are, whenever Anne needs you Meena: Okay, smartypants Meena: there's nothing I could teach YOU Tommy: not with THAT attitude Meena: 🤨 maybe next time Meena: bring your own 🩰 Tommy: & 🥊 Meena: a look Tommy: the 🩳 are too Meena: what do you wear on your top half though Meena: leotard? Tommy: lads don't usually wear anything to show off 💪 Meena: Who are you showing off to? Tommy: The other lad of course, name a sport that ain't homoerotic Meena: not when you come back here Tommy: when I come back here most of all Meena: no boys in my classes Tommy: Anne's been a letdown from the very beginning, what can I say? Tommy: you're on your own, Meeps Meena: I'll survive Tommy: I know

[tumblunni]

DR SNAP I LOVE YOU AAAAA

guys I just heard about a NEW SCIENCE GRANDPA *slams fist on the table* FUCK YEAH I will hug all the this one specific character type until the end of time

What's even better is that he seems to straight up actually be Nice Hojo, aka the first science villain I ever liked and then was Incredibly Betrayed By when he turned from funny sassy sidekick guy to child abuse fetal experimentation super duper ultra murder potentially-rape-potentially-domestic-abuse man. And then incredibly confused when his final boss fight tried to be all feelsy and sad and I was just like ok so we are backpedalling to what I wanted him to be but it is too late sorry!! Still the best boss fight ever tho, fuckin punch him in the face three times in increasing monsteriness for not living up to my cute gramp hopes. ALSO HOW DARE YOU BECOME A COOL MONSTER TOO, YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NEAT DESIGN

So yeah

This dude

IS CUTE GRAMP AND ALSO ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME MONSTER DESIGN???

Underappreciated man Dr Snap from Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 1! Also his monster boss form is called Dr Snapped and I'm just like mmyes gud pun, thankyee

He is still a mad science villain yes, but he is very polite and endearing and round and soft!! And has a spooky final boss form that's even more terrifying than Helletic Hojo and has a cool aesthetic with the floaty orbs and also lil skittery centi-legs. Pretty much the only thing I don't like here is the weird jowls, I dunno why but that creeps me out the most. I guess just cos it looks close to a normal human face but like if the cheek meats were all sliced up and melting. Thankfully the game doesn't seem to indicate that he's in pain in any way, so that's a relief. He' like WEIRDLY POLITE AND CHEERFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING INCLUDING BECOMING A HELLBEAST

Good boy. Soft mans. Sweet grampe.

"oh whoopsie doopsie I appear to have dropped my arms and earlobes, sorry about that sonny"

Srsly he's not going "I'm a monster"in horror here, his next line is basically "yay this wasn't part of my plan but this is even better!"

His entire villain plan is just cos he loves and cherishes monsters too much, and embodies all the virtues of a monster tamer to a dangerous extreme. He thinks monsters are more pure and good than humanity and the only way to truly get humanity to live with them in peace is to let monsters take over the world entirely. And he's like "oh golly gosh my dream came true" when he becomes the world's scariest goddamn Frankenstein centipede, and is happy that he can fix the world even more super duper double much by making everyone become monsters too! It'll solve all problems!! Somehow!! The key to eternal peace is becoming cute abominations like me, yay!!

Srsly wtf he's so endearing I absolutely adore him AND ALSO HIS PHILOSOPHY IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS ME WHEN IM PLAYING ANY GAME WHERE I HAVE TO FIGHT MONSTERS. Like I was excited about this joker game in the first place cos I always feel sad having to kill all those cute designs in the dragon quest series!!! I wanna be their friend!!! It's a shame that this came out before dqix tho so it doesn't have that cute cow pattern vampire bat thingie or the slug with lips. THEY WERE MY FOREVER FRIENDS

So yeh I'm kinda sad that from what I've heard the game isn't sympathetic to Dr Snap at all despite making him FUCKIN ADORABLE and his entire motives being exactly the same as yours, just corrupted. I would have expected some sort of ending where you can convince him he's wrong and have a big speech about a better solution and stuff, and it's all motivational? Cos srsly it just seems like he somehow lost faith in humanity and felt like this extreme solution was the only way to achieve peace. I wonder if he had some sort of sad backstory where he saw a forest of monsters killed by humans polluting the environment or something. Or lived a sad childhood and his only friend was a pet monster that died defending him from his abusive parents. OR BOTH. Srsly I just feel like it takes a big trauma to lead to a guy being this messed up cos I know my own "humans suck, I will always side with the monsters detsroying humanity" feels come from being abused as a kid.

BUT NO

JUST

HE BAD HE DIE

Also the damn weirdness of your own monster partner saying "he's no longer human so we have to kill him"

I never fuckin understand "being non human in any way equals automatically evil and no human rights" as a morality. Morality should always be about what you DO, not what you are! This dude is still 100% sentient and going golly gosh all over the place but now it's okay to murder him without even trying to talk him down???

Apparently you can actually unlock his monster form as a playable party member in the sequel, but it's not actually him and just like.. same species, by merging some other species together.

But no I choose to reject that reality and instead believe that we motivational speech'd him and restored his faith in humanity and ended the fight without a murder, and he stopped his plan and just went home with us to be our wonderful new eldritch grandpa forever. And now he works hard to make up for his sins, and also do research on monsterness from the monster perspective so we can find even more ways to bring friendship and peace to the two worlds. And someone sewed him a new cute fancy labcoat to fit all his extra tentacle arms!! And little glasses with sticky pads on the nose bridge so they stay on even though his head is kinda indented in his torso now. Also he can hug twice as many baby Slimes with all the extra limbs, yes!!!!! MY ELDRITCH GRAMPS BAKES ELDRITCH COOKIES AND THIS IS THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT

So uhh yeh anyways this has been bunni accidentally stumbling upon the ending to a game they've never played via pixiv and now being filled with the strongest fire to play it

I MUST SEE THE WHOLE STORY OF GRAMP...

Also thank u to pixiv user [D.J] who makes many fanarts of obscure sad science villain grandpas getting cuddles and happiness. I feel like my goddamn soul twin is living on the other side of the planet where I can never tell them how much I love their art :(