#the mind and body do be subconsciously relieving things huh

[peapod20001]

Me: “oh my god, why am I getting bad thoughts and feelings in the days leading up to my birthday??”

My body and mind: “haha remember how you were last year?~ :)”

Me: “ohhh. Oh. Oh no”

[dixons-sunshine]

Accidents Happen | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: It wasn’t supposed to happen. Daryl was only picking you up from work. He didn’t want the night to end with the both of you in the hospital with no clue if you’d be okay.

Genre: Hurt/comfort.

Era: Pre Apocalypse.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU.

Warnings: Blood, injuries, allusions to drunk driving, car accident.

Word count: 2.4k.

A/N: A few facts surrounding the rescue is probably not accurate. I didn’t have any internet while writing this so I winged it. Just a quick warning before you read! There are more than likely inaccuracies in this!

“Hey, Dar,” you greeted your husband with a smile, hopping into the old truck Daryl had taken to work for the day. You settled back into the worn leather, letting out a big sigh of relief. You were relieved that the day was over. Being at work at past seven pm should be illegal, you thought to yourself.

Daryl gave you a small smile. “Hey, Peach.” He started up the truck once he saw you were settled and pulled out of the parking lot. “Long day, huh?”

“God, you don’t even know the half of it,” you groaned. It had indeed been a long day; from parent-teacher conferences to meetings you couldn’t care less about, on top of having to break up multiple fights throughout the day, it was safe to say that you were exhausted.

Daryl chuckled and absentmindedly started chewing on his thumbnail as he pulled onto the back road that would make for a faster route back to your apartment than braving the traffic on the highway. “‘Least s’Friday. Two days’a freedom, huh?”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Nope. I need to work on some stupid report. All the teachers have to. We need to have it done by Monday.” You sighed and reached for your husband’s hand and interlaced you fingers through his, something you subconsciously did whenever you noticed him chewing on his thumbnail.

Daryl rubbed his thumb over your knuckles affectionately. “Ya’ll be alright. I don’ have anythin’ planned for the weekend anyways so I’mma be at yer beck and call. Anythin’ ya need, okay?”

You smiled at him. However, before you could say anything, the flashing of another car’s lights caught your attention. The car was in the wrong lane; it was beelining straight for Daryl’s truck. “Shit! Daryl, look out!”

Your words barely registered in the air before Daryl was gripping the steering wheel, trying to swerve out of the maniac’s way. However, by doing so, Daryl lost control of the vehicle, and the car swerved away from the road and into the treeline.

The last thing that you remember was an immense feeling of dread. And then...

It all went black.

Daryl gasped as he regained consciousness. His mind was hazy. His head was pounding. His body was aching, and he very quickly became extremely aware of the fact that he was pinned beneath a piece of debris. What had happened? Why the hell wasn’t he at home? Why was he still in his truck? Why was he pinned beneath his truck’s dashboard?

However, as his mind started to catch up with him, he became acutely aware of what had happened. Another car had been driving on the wrong side of the road, forcing him to have to swerve his truck. The same truck Merle had given to him years ago. The same truck he had used to pick you up from work.

Daryl’s eyes widened and he quickly looked over to his right, praying for the first time in his life. However, he had no idea if his prayers were answered when he saw the state you, the love of his life, were in. You were unconscious, with blood noticably gushing in rivers from your head.

“Shit, Y/N!” Daryl called to you hoarsely, a sharp pain shooting through his upper body when he tried to turn and reach you. He probably had a broken rib. A bruised one, if he was that lucky. “Y/N, oh my god. Darlin’? Peach, please wake up,” he called desperately. He tried his hardest to get to you, but with his body being pinned beneath the dashboard, his attempts were proven to be futile.

To say Daryl was terrified would be an understatement. Other than the pain shooting from his ribcage when he tried to move and the incessant pounding in his head, he was relatively fine. You, on the other hand, looked terrible. He didn’t know what to make of the fact that he couldn’t seem to wake you. His mind was wandering to places he didn’t like. He wouldn’t let his mind accept that you were dead. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t survive if you passed away. The mere thought of having to bury you sent his mind into a spiral, and he started hyperventilating. “Oh god, Peach, please talk to me. Please!”

“Sir, please calm down. Everything is going to be alright.”

The sound of someone’s voice had Daryl snapping his head back to look to his left. His cerulean eyes locked with what appeared to be a police officer, two firemen standing next to him. As Daryl’s mind started to process this new bit of information, he realized that a bunch of police vehicles and an ambulance surrounded the area, as well as a few news reporters. Fucking vultures, Daryl thought about the reporters as his eyes flickered back to the police officer. However, in his place, he found two paramedics, carrying a stretcher. Daryl had barely even realized that the dashboard had been lifted from him. However, before the paramedics could lift him onto the stretcher, Daryl was resisting.

“Nah, get her first,” Daryl basically pleaded with the men in front of him. “Get her first. Please. Take care’a her first.”

“Sir, please remain calm. Just focus on your breathing, okay?”

“Get her first!” Daryl exclaimed as he felt his breathing become more erratic. He was pushing the hands of the men off of him. “God, please. Don’ let her die. Please.”

One of the paramedics signalled something over his shoulder, and soon, the door to your side was being pried open and two other paramedics were tending to you and lifting you out of the car and onto a separate stretcher. Daryl let out a sigh of relief. Good. You were being taken care of. He could relax somewhat. However, his relief was short-lived when the paramedics started moving at a more frantic pace, his worry reappeared.

“What? What’s wrong?!” Daryl exclaimed in a panicked tone. Please don’t let her die, Daryl silently begged to whatever higher power was willing to listen to him.

“Sir, please remain calm. We’ll do everything in our power to ensure your wife’s well-being,” one of the paramedics reassured him. He then beckoned the other paramedic closer and together, began to lift Daryl onto his own stretcher.

Daryl didn’t fight back this time. There was no use to do so. You weren’t in the car anymore. You were being wheeled away to the ambulance. His only option at that moment in time was to co-operate. You’d want him to. He knew that.

As he was wheeled into the ambulance—thankfully the same one that you were in—he turned his head to look at you. The sight that beheld him made him want to burst into tears, but he didn’t. He needed to be strong and hope that your stubbornness prevailed in the face of death, that you’d flip death the bird and live to see another few decades.

You had to be fine. You just had to.

“M’not sure. I think it was a blue car? Was definitely a blueish-black car. One’a the headlights had this weird ass green colourin’ to it and the hood had its paint scraped off. Was white underneath, I think. M’sorry. S’all I remember.”

“It’s okay. Every bit of information helps. We’ll try our best to track the perpetrator down,” a police officer—Deputy Henderson or Hallmark or something—told Daryl, sending him his version of a reassuring smile.

To be quite honest, Daryl could hardly believe that he had retained even that slightest bit of information on the asshole that had caused the car wreck. Everything had happened so fast. Everything had gone to hell in a mere second.

Daryl nodded at the officer and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “S’it alright if I go now?”

The deputy nodded in understanding. “We’ll be sure to keep you updated. Go be with your wife.”

With that, Daryl turned around and walked back towards room 207—the room where you were laying unconscious. As Daryl slowly lowered himself into the chair next to your bed, an action he had done since late the previous evening, ever mindful of his bruised ribs—one lucky thing that had come from the accident, a mere bruised rib—and leaned forward to gingerly take your hand in his, and that was the position he stayed in for nearly two hours. According to the doctors, you would be alright. You suffered from a broken leg, a really horrible concussion, multiple bruises and two deep cuts that needed stitches, but you were otherwise okay.

Daryl didn’t believe in miracles, but in that moment, there was no other word that could describe it. You had looked terrible when the paramedics had rolled you into the ambulance, and Daryl had been convinced that the injuries you had sustained would be far more lethal. It was truly a miracle that you had gotten of relatively okay. However, Daryl still got off better than you, and he felt terrible about that. He would much rather have been suffering in that bed in your place than have to witness you he hurt ever again.

“If you think any harder, you’ll burn a hole right through your head.”

Daryl’s head snapped up at the sound of your voice. A wave of relief crashed over him, and had it not been for the state you were in, he would have crushed you to him in a hug. However, he settled on tightening his grip on your hand, his cerulean blue eyes staring deeply into your own. “Yer awake,” he whispered, almost disbelievingly.

You nodded and sent him a small smile, albeit a little strained due to the pain that shot through your body when you tried to move. The drugs pumping through your system helped numb most of the pain, but not all of it, however. “I’m awake,” you confirmed, lacing your fingers through his, just like you had done the night before. However, once your eyes focused more, you could see the very prominent bruising on his face and around his eye, making you gasp. “Oh my god, Daryl... What happened?”

Daryl sighed and looked down at the bed, intentionally shielding his injury from you as to not make you worry more. “Car accident,” he began to explain in a quiet tone of voice. “Some asshole was drivin’ in the wrong lane. I had to swerve and then lost control’a the truck. We crashed into a tree.”

You frowned and looked at Daryl in concern. “Are you okay? That bruise—”

Daryl involuntarily let out a small chuckle at your concern. Leave it to you to worry more about other people than yourself, even when you were supposed to worry about yourself. Some things never change. “Yeah, m’fine, Princess. I promise.” Daryl stopped for a moment, swallowing at the lump that formed in his throat, before continuing. “M’so goddamn sorry, Sweetheart. I didn’t mean to cause all’a this.” He gestured to your battered and bruised body for added emphasis. “I was an idiot. I should’a jus’ drove into the other lane. I shouldn’t’a swerved into the fuckin’ treeline. M’so sorry. I—”

“Stop apologizing,” you cut him off with a stern yet gentle voice. “It’s not your fault, you hear me?” Daryl went to protest, but you continued before he could. “It is not your fault. You were placed in an impossible situation and you didn’t have time to think of a plan. You had to act fast, and you did. Imagine if you hadn’t swerved and we collided with that car. We would’ve been worse off. Sure, I’m a little broken and bruised in some places, but I’m fine. I’m alive. There’s absolutely nothing to feel guilty over. You understand?”

Daryl understood. He just didn’t really believe it. However, he wasn’t about to start an argument with you when you were in such a fragile condition. Besides, deep down, Daryl could admit that there was some truth to your words. But he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself until that asshole that caused this was caught for his crimes.

Daryl brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a soft, tender kiss to your knuckles. “Okay,” he finally conceded. “M’jus’ real glad yer alive. When I woke up in the truck and saw ya passed out and ya wouldn’t wake up... I thought I had lost ya.” Unwillingly, a few tears fell from your husband’s eyes. He didn’t even notice.

Your heart ached for Daryl. Had the roles been reversed, and he was the one laying in that bed, you’d probably have reacted the same way. You gently rubbed your thumb over his knuckles, silently willing the man to look at you. “I’m here. It’s gonna take a whole lot more than that to take me away from you, I promise.” When Daryl didn’t respond, you took it upon yourself to attempt to lighten up the air. You could tell your husband needed a distraction. “You think they’ll give me an extension on that report? I’m not gonna have it done by Monday.”

By some stroke of luck, that had managed to get a small smile from Daryl. He shook his head and looked at you affectionately. “If they don’t give ya that extension, m’personally gonna shoot each and every one’a ‘em.”

You chuckled and sent him a small smile. “I love you so much, you know that?”

Daryl’s smile turned more genuine at your words. “I love ya more, Sunshine.” Before you could respond with your typical “impossible” or “I love you the most”, Daryl’s phone rang. It was the deputy from earlier. Frowning, he answered the phone. “Hello?”

You couldn’t hear what the other person was saying, but if Daryl’s suddenly relieved facial expression was anything to go off of, it was good news. The conversation was short and to the point, and when the call ended, you spoke up. “Who was that?”

“Was the deputy,” Daryl explained, a small smile on his face. “They got the son of a bitch.”

You smiled at him and beckoned him over for a hug. Daryl complied and very gently, almost as if you’d break under any sort of pressure, hugged you. Sure, the two of you would have to go and identify the man they had captured’s car, but there was no doubt in Daryl’s mind that the man responsible would soon be behind bars. For once, the legal system hadn’t failed him. You’d get the justice you deserve.

And for the first time since everything had gone down, Daryl was at peace.

[madridfangirl]

Star Crossed Lovers - Ch 13 (Blurb)

As Ananya laid in bed later that night, exhausted, with Jude spooning her from behind, her thoughts wandered to the role-play they had just done. The re-doing of their first date.

It had been their most intense love-making so far. It had also been the most intense experience of her life.

While she hadn’t granted what she surmised was his ultimate wish, she had conceded a few others by letting him take her on the kitchen counter. As his content, hot breath rhythmically grazed the back of her neck, she wondered if that’s what he wanted all along. If it had been a strategy to ask for the sun & the moon so she would eventually meet him somewhere in the middle. The boy was capable of plotting when it came to these things. And when he really, really wanted something.

Meanwhile, Jude was slowly looking over the spent body of the gorgeous girl in his arms. His girlfriend. She had been quiet for a while. He leaned forward to kiss along her bare shoulder, revelling in her sweet sighs.

‘Dove?’

He called out softly.

‘Mmmm.’

Jude didn’t believe in beating about the bush. So he went straight to the point.

‘Did you like what we just did?’

She moved in his arms. Trying to gather her thoughts. 

Did she like it? Truth be told, she was mindblown. After a point, when she didn’t know what was coming next, she had simply let go. Letting him drive things and manoeuvre her body / movements. It had been thrilling. Exhilarating. The way he had her spread over the counter - first on her back, while he ate her out like a scrumptious meal. And then on her belly, as he took her almost manically. Sandwiching her between the cold counter and his burning, feverish body. While bending over her and whispering in her ear throughout how he had wanted to do this since that very first night. 

The pleasure transmitting from his throbbing body into her inviting, albeit spent one.

And boy was she spent. Jude carried her back to his room upstairs not in his arms but on his shoulder, to mind her cramped legs. Tucked her into bed and got in behind her, holding her gently.

Zonked out & lost in her thoughts, she forgot she hadn’t said anything out loud yet. He nuzzled his face in her neck, nudging her to respond. Her hand reached behind to stroke his cheek, as he gladly leaned into her palm.

‘Yes Jude.’

As soon as those words left her mouth, she was showered with relieved & happy pecks all over her shoulders, neck, upper arm and side of her face. Basically any part he could reach without having to move her too much.

Jude had understood that she preferred to communicate through her reactions during their intimate moments. But he was slowly trying to get her to be more vocal, especially when he couldn’t see her face or look into her eyes throughout.

Also, he loved the rosy tint of her cheeks whenever they broached any such topic. In fact, he was positively addicted to it. And wanted to elongate the moment.

‘Is there anything you wanna ask me?’

‘Umm…’

She hesitated. He could tell there was something; And he doubled down with his superhuman powers of persuasion, along with that silky smooth voice. 

‘Surely there’s gotta be something yeah? Please?’

The thought had played in her subconscious mind all through the last hour. She was genuinely curious, but it felt like such a delicate thing to ask. 

‘Do you…..prefer this then? From….behind?’

She recollected how he had flipped her over during their first time as well, before she had stopped him. That had been his instinct. And she could tell it hit him more / deeper tonight.

When he was silent, she shut her eyes. Wondering if she had said something inappropriate. 

A few days ago, the answer would have been a very easy yes for Jude. But being face to face with this girl had its own charm. It gave him a different kind of access, which he enjoyed very much. And watching her react to him was a cherry on top.

‘I like many. But this & sideways would be top, yeah.’

‘Uh-huh.’

She tried to scoot away a bit, processing the implication of his words, but he pulled her right back, plastering her back to his front. 

‘Don’t overthink it, dove. I love everything I do with you.’

She turned in his arms to hug him close, seeking out his comfort, and was rewarded with kisses to the top of her head. His arms tightened around her in a protective embrace, weeding out the restless thoughts.

[isthataneren]

hugs ~ hcs

a/n: deep down, once you get past the overwhelming anxiety involving affection, all I really want to do is hug people 

∫ summary: you love hugging. a lot. how would the bakusquad react?

∫ pairings: bakusquad(individual) x crush!reader

∫ warnings: none, fluffy fluff

Bakugou Katsuki:

Sitting in the common room with the others Bakugou was grumpy

All he wanted to do was go to his room and not talk to anybody for the rest of the day; well, the only exception being you

But he couldn’t just single you out from the rest of the losers he hangs out with

That would make it too obvious that he feels a little different towards you than he does them

It’s definitely not a crush though

Yeah sure whatever you say

So he just is forced to sit through another insufferable game that the others are playing because he’s hoping to at least see you before he high tails it to his room for the rest of the day

They forced him to play a round of Mario Kart but after he almost breaks the tv they decide it’s best to let him just spectate

Except he’s on his phone so he’s not paying attention

Which is precisely why he didn’t see you enter the room until he heard Mina squeal as you plopped down on her lap

“Hey! you know I love your hugs but I’m on my last lap. Go sit on Bakugou! He won’t mind”

“Like hell I won’t!”

He wouldn’t

But he had to keep up the facade

That didn’t last for long though

You shuffled your way over to him, standing and pouting slightly waiting for him to consent

Good god that cute face is going to be the death of him

Sighing, he just uncrossed his arms and opened them slightly

You brightened up at the invitation, not actually have expected for him to do it

Without waiting for him to take the offer back you climbed into his lap, wrapping your legs and arms around him

Stiffly put his arms around you

After a minute he relaxes a little, running his hand down your back once before securing it around your waist

You sigh into his neck

“Thank you”

He just grunts in return

Doesn’t want to admit it but he likes it more than he thought he would

Won’t want you to do it in public again though

He never heard the end of the squad’s teasing

Kirishima Eijiro:

Loves it

Though it does catch him off guard

Especially when you do it in public

So he was out with you and his friends

And they were currently getting food and left you two alone together

Definitely on purpose on Mina’s part

You were playing on your phone next to him while he was just admiring you with a big smile on his face

How were you so cute??

He felt so lucky to be able to know you, even if you weren’t dating yet

Totally didn’t notice that you noticed that he was staring at you

You took the opportunity to put your phone aside and turn to him

Blushes when he realized he was caught

“Can I hug you?”

The questions takes him off guard for a moment

“Hug me?”

You nod enthusiastically

His heart melts at your smile

Once he shakes out of his stupor, he grins brightly

“Of course!”

Within a second you were hugging

It was a little awkward with you both sitting but you made it work

His arms loosely wrapped around your waist as your arms did the same

His head rested on top of yours

It was a sweet hug

Not too tight or too loose

You were both so caught up in your own little blissful worlds that you didn’t even realize when the others showed back up

“AWWW! Man, they’re so cute!”

You both sprang apart, cheeks hot with embarrassment 

“Kaminari! You scared them!” 

“Sorry dude”

Kiri sighs before smiling softly at you

Maybe next time he can hold you for a little longer

Kaminari Denki:

You were worried about a test that was due to take place the following day

Mina assured you that you would do fine but you were still worried

Kaminari jumped in to support, telling you that as long as you did better than him, you would be fine

This caused you to uno reverse and start saying supportive things back to him

It became a competition on who could be more enthusiastic about the test

You both did a review together that night, seeing as you convinced him to do a last minute study session in preparation

Later on the next day you were waiting for the results from the test that you took, head swimming with anticipation

When you finally got your grade back your eyes widened and you looked at Kaminari, who was already looking at you with the same expression

“We passed!!!”

Next thing he knew, a weight slammed into him

kaminari.exe has stopped functioning

Did his crush, whom he is always trying to get attention from, just hug him???

Is this real??

All thoughts of the test flew out of his mind as he blanked 

It took him almost a solid minute to realize that his arms had wrapped around you subconsciously and that you were rambling about how well he did

He snapped out of his stupor and squeezed you tightly

“You did really well too! Don’t give me all the credit.”

Tries to act nonchalant but fails miserably

His face is red but he's smiling goofily

When you pull away he already is counting down the minutes until you hug him again

Mina Ashido: 

Yes yes yes

She loves affection, so when you are even slightly affectionate she wants to combust

You both were in her room doing your homework together so you could watch a movie after you were finished

She was already itching to wrap you in a hug but she wanted to at least finish some of her homework beforehand

Since you told her that she couldn’t hug you until she did

Pouting but trying her best

Once she got five questions right without a mistake you pulled her into a quick hug

Now she was really craving a cuddle

It felt like she had a mountain of work left but she pushed on as best as she could, thoughts of cuddling for the rest of the night kept her energized

Finally, finally she finished her work and was practically dragging you to her bed for snuggles

You barely got the movie turned on before she wrapped every possible limb around you, head buried in your chest

Can’t believe that she was able to make it that long without affection tbh

So dramatic

Granted, you were also surprised you could suppress it too

Considering Mina is great at hugs

They’re quite addicting

Alas, I digress

Seeing as you couldn’t move very well, you couldn’t return the love that you were receiving

“Uhh Mina?”

She hummed happily against your chest

“I want to cuddle you too”

“Huh?”

She realized the position that you were in

“Oh! Whoops”

Releasing her hold on you slightly, she moved a little to the side to make it more comfortable for you to wrap your arms around her, burying your face in her hair

She couldn’t be any more happy than this

Well, she would be if she could give you kisses too

But she’ll have to save that for later ;)

Sero Hanta: 

Happy baby

But also a little shy (just a little tho)

It was break time between classes and he was standing in the hallway next to the vending machine, talking to his friends

There was only a couple minutes left before he had to get back to class but he was making the most of it

It had been a pretty chill week for everyone, all things considering

No villains, no tests

Just normal school stuff plus hero training

Everyone was quite relieved about that

The only thing is Sero hasn’t seen you in a while

Usually you hang out with Mina so, in extension, the rest of the squad as well

But you’ve been gone the last week on a trip with your relatives 

You got back two days before but he only saw you in class since you had to do extra stuff to make up work

It seems that you finally got a break, though

He felt arms wind around his waist, a body pressing close to his side

Startled, he looks at the person only to recognize them immediately 

You tucked yourself against him, face pressed into his neck

He could physically feel the tension leaving your body as you relaxed against him

Smiling, he wound an arm around your waist, pulling you a little in front of him before wrapping his other arm around you

“How was your week?”

You groaned

“Don’t get me started”

He chuckled lightly before going back to the conversation he was having, rubbing your back softly

Kirishima didn’t say anything, just smiled and continued talking to Sero

Kaminari wiggled his eyebrows at his friend, who, if you squinted close enough, had a faint blush on his cheeks

So maybe he was a little flustered at the sudden PDA

But he cherished every moment with you

So he didn’t mind 

He only hoped he could work up the courage to properly ask you out sometime in the future

[nanatsumu]

TEENAGE FEVER.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x f!reader, oikawa tooru x f!reader

synopsis: iwaizumi has strung you on long enough and you’re finally at the end of your rope.

genre: heavy angst... like make your heart wrench in pain heavy, one sided pining

warnings: manga spoilers, bad grammar (didn’t know it was that bad until i used grammarly), MATURE themes, drinking, smoking, alcohol, iwaizumi being an asshole (he’s also a frat boy because surprise! frat boys should never be trusted), subtle hints at sex, bittersweet ending

word count: 5.9K

series masterlist

part one | part two | part three | part four

it was evident in the way you weren’t sure how to sway your hips to the beat of the music and the way you awkwardly isolated yourself in a quiet corner of the house, sipping on some soda (since you did not want your first frat party experience to end up with you wasted and throwing up on some stranger) that you were definitely not accustomed to the party life.

“are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself y/n?” your roommate asked you with a concerned look on her face.

“i’ll be fine reina,” you give her a tight-lipped smile as you gesture to the phone in your hand. “i’ll just sit here and chill on my phone until you get back.”

“okay okay, i’ll quit babying you now,” she throws her hands up in the air. “call me if some dude tries to hit on you though.”

“will do, but i doubt with how loud the music is that you’ll even answer,” you playfully roll your eyes as she erupts in a fit of laughter.

the brunette pats the back pocket of her jeans where her phone currently resides at.

“even if i don’t hear it, i’ll feel it.”

it becomes quiet momentarily (besides what you assume is i love it by dean blaring in the background) until she starts to looks around warily before leaning in and whispering something into your ear.

“if a hajime iwaizumi tries to talk to you, try to find a way to get out of the conversation,” she pauses for a moment before continuing. “that guy is seriously bad news.”

“y-yeah, i’ll... do that.” you hear her let out a sigh of relief as she straightens up her posture.

it’s hard to hear what she’s saying from there on out, especially with how obnoxiously loud the music has gotten, but you manage to catch the words ‘friends’ and ‘beer pong’ before she slips away amongst the sea of students and you’re left sitting alone on a couch by yourself with only your phone as entertainment.

you had recently moved to california from japan on an academic scholarship for uci, so when you heard reina mention the name ‘iwaizumi hajime’ it sparked a sense of familiarity within you and piqued your curiosity as to if he was also a foreigner studying abroad.

you’ve only been living in the states for a month now which meant you were still getting used to the strange lifestyle here, so the thought of being friends with someone you could potentially relate to had always been swimming in the back of your mind.

“so what’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself?”

a voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you let out a small shriek and the next thing you know, your phone flies out of your hand, hitting the person that just sat down next to you.

“ow!” he cries as he clutches his forehead in pain.

“shit! i’m sorry dude!” at this point you’re scrambling around, not sure where to put your hands as you wave them around haphazardly.

“you know, it’s not nice to throw your phone at someone who's trying to make conversation with you right?” the stranger says in a whiny tone as he switches over to rubbing the red spot forming on his forehead in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“and you know it’s not nice to sneak up on a girl if she’s alone right?” you scoff. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“my mom’s vagina.”

“i didn’t mean literally!” you growl.

he shrugs before making himself comfortable by resting his arms on top of the couch and spreads his long legs.

“y’know, i don’t appreciate you manspreading and i especially don’t appreciate the fact that you’re confident enough to do so when i have no idea who you are.” you grimace.

“the name is oikawa tooru, introduction over,” he gives you a lopsided grin. “but you can call me tooru if you’d like, apparently everyone calls each other by their first names here in the states.”

“japanese?”

“yeah, but i’m not a student here,” he places two fingers on your cheek and gently pushes your head in the direction of the kitchen where you see some people conversing with each other. “you see the guy in the denim jacket with the piercings?”

your eyes wander around until you spot a boy sporting a denim jacket with piercings, just as oikawa described, but you also take note of how oikawa failed to mention that his friend was absolutely breathtaking: he didn’t have a chiseled face but he did have a nice jawline, his hair was spiky but it was styled properly, but what stood out to you the most was the small patch of permanent ink on his wrist.

and it’s as if the heavens were on your side tonight because just as you were thinking about whether or not the tattoo on his wrist branched into something bigger and more complex, he slips off his denim jacket and the sleeveless t-shirt he had on underneath allowed you to see that his entire arm was covered in numerous quantities of tattoos varying in design and color that blended together seamlessly.

“he’s the one that snuck me in,” he leans in closer to your ear and you can practically feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear which makes you shiver. “it’s funny how much college can change a guy, huh?”

he continues.

“his demeanor back in high school wasn’t too different from how it is now, but it like... intensified after he moved here,” oikawa throws his body back and you’re relieved that he finally put some distance between you two because you weren’t sure how much longer you could take him being so close to you. “dumbass probably got caught up in the wrong crowd.”

“and what are you doing here?” you direct your attention back onto the chocolate-haired boy.

“me? i play for a volleyball team in argentina but i’m just visiting iwaizumi.”

your jaw drops and it’s not at the fact that he plays for argentina, but at the way he says it so indifferently like it’s not a big deal at all.

“wait, what the hell!?” you shake your head and take a moment to recollect your thoughts. “i thought you were a student at another school but you’re telling me you don’t even go to school at all?”

“yup!” he grins. “the season just ended and with the free time i have now i just decided to fly here and visit iwaizumi for a bit, y’know, see how well he's adjusting to the university life.”

“and you should’ve seen the look on my face when i saw him for the first time in 4 years and all of a sudden he has an arm full of tattoos and a shit load of piercings.”

“wait, did you just say iwaizumi?”

“hm? yeah, iwaizumi hajime? you know him? i heard he’s pretty popular around here, but i’m pretty sure it’s for all the wrong reasons though.”

“my friend told me he was bad news...” you say sheepishly.

it’s silent for a moment and you’re worried you might have said something wrong or offended your new friend (could you two even be considered friends? i mean he did pop out of nowhere and started talking to you) but your worries are all washed away when you hear a laugh escape his lips.

“i wouldn’t say he’s bad news, just rough around the edges and has a bad habit of hooking up with girls.”

“you know i don’t appreciate you bad mouthing me behind my back shittykawa.”

a deep voice startles both you and oikawa, and when you turn around to see who the owner of the voice was, your mouth grows dry when you realize it’s the iwaizumi hajime standing right behind you.

“iwaizumi!” oikawa stands up and walks over to the spiky-haired male standing behind the couch before slinging an arm around his shoulder. “i was just making small talk with...”

“y/n. l/n y/n.”

“y/n! a pretty name for a pretty girl,” oikawa winks at you and you roll your eyes at his shamelessness. “anyways i’m gonna and grab a drink.”

oikawa pats iwaizumi on the back before sauntering away, leaving you and iwaizumi to be alone together.

“so, y/n?” his gaze is intense and you can’t help but shift around uncomfortably in your seat at the way he’s borderline checking you out. “you’re not from around here are you?”

“uh yeah,” you scratch the back of your head. “i’m from japan but i recently moved here for university.”

“is that so?” you flinch subtly when iwaizumi plops down next to you but it doesn’t go unnoticed by the male. “relax y/n, i don’t bite.”

his voice is velvety with the right amount of gruffness to it, contrary to his friend, oikawa, whose voice is a bit higher and on the whinier side.

“so... what are you majoring in, iwaizumi?” you ask, attempting to make some sort of small talk with him.

“i’m majoring in sports science, what about you?”

“education,” you answer, suddenly feeling a bit less tense than you were earlier. “i wanna become a teacher, but probably just for primary school, middle schoolers and high schoolers scare me.”

iwaizumi laughs.

“and primary schoolers don’t? i have a little sister and she’s literally the devil incarnate.”

you giggle and you think about how easy it is to converse with iwaizumi, but the warning reina gave you earlier still lingers in the back of your head and so you’re careful not to let your guard down too much.

“so how are you liking california so far? it’s different from japan isn’t it?” he asks.

“well, it’s... different i’ll give you that,” you start playing with your bottom lip subconsciously as it’s a habit that you picked up back in high school. “but my roommate is nice at least and that’s the only that matters to me.”

“i’m also planning on moving back to japan in the future but it’ll only be after i finish university and get my bachelor's degree or something,” you continue.

“taking an internship doesn’t seem too bad either? it’s still a while before i graduate so i wanna try and enjoy my university life before i get into thrown into the real world because i don’t wanna be old and wrinkly and live with regrets— i’m rambling now aren’t i?”

“you’re alright,” iwaizumi smiles. “it’s honestly like a breath of fresh air hearing how you have your life planned out, or at least you have a plan on what you want to do with your life because most of the girls i’ve met or i’m friends with are either undecided or are all about ‘living in the moment’ and while being undecided or having that type of mindset isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just gets repetitive sometimes being surrounded by the same type of people.”

“but you— you’re different from them, i like that.”

you can feel your cheeks starts to heat up and iwaizumi is amused by how you can get so flustered over such a simple compliment.

“thanks... i guess?” you compose yourself and try to cool yourself down by putting your hands on your cheeks.

“so what are you doing here at this party? you don’t strike me as a party animal.”

“because i’m not,” you chuckle. “my roommate dragged me here and i only said yes because i was told it was only gonna be a small get-together, though she didn’t mention anything about the booming music and the alcohol.”

“you a lightweight or something?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“i’m 19, actually, so still not legally allowed to drink,” you state as a matter-of-fact.

“so? i was 19 when i drank for the first time,” he says and you’re alarmed at how he can say it so casually.

“ha, no thanks, i’d rather not accidentally get wasted and throw up on someone later tonight.”

“well, i’ll make sure that you don’t throw up on anybody then,” he stands up and extends his hand out for you to take. “why don’t you come along with me and i’ll fix you up a drink?”

you look at his hand with a wary look in your eyes as reina’s words start to play in your head like a broken record.

‘that guy is seriously bad news.’

“so what do you say, y/n?”

you stare into his brown eyes and it’s almost as if he injected curiosity straight into your veins because the next thing you know, you’re sitting on the counter with iwaizumi standing in between your legs as he’s pouring a bottle of bailey’s irish creme into a tumbler glass for you.

“this is probably the best option for you besides white claw but i’m sure as hell not gonna have you drink that shit especially when it’s your first time,” he sets the almost empty bottle on the counter behind him before handing you the glass, which you reluctantly take. “and i’m not gonna be an asshole and give you spirytus.”

you inspect the liquid by bringing the glass up closer to your eyes and whirling it around a few times in a way that is similar to that of a kid inspecting their halloween candy for poison or blades and it elicits a snicker out of iwaizumi.

“i don’t know... i told my mom i’d move to california to study and be a teacher, not go to parties and practice underage drinking.” you deadpan which only further humors the male in front of you.

“and i told my mom i’d move to california to study sports science, not pierce my ears and get my entire arm tattooed,” he says and you assume that this is his way of trying to coax you into drinking the glass of whiskey in your hands. “i’m sure a little bit of alcohol won’t hurt and i promise you’re not gonna get wasted, take a lick for all i care.”

“fine, but if i accidentally puke all over someone’s shoes then i’m counting on you to pay for dry cleaning.” you say before bringing the glass up to your lips and taking a tiny sip— and to your surprise, it wasn’t that bad.

the taste of whiskey wasn’t overbearing as the taste of cocoa and vanilla overpowered it, but you weren’t complaining as it made it easier for the drink to slide down your throat without you feeling the need to scrunch up your face in distaste.

“not bad right?” iwaizumi smirks and it immediately triggers your fight or flight.

“i haven’t even said anything yet.” you roll your eyes.

“well? what do you think then?”

his hand brushes up against your thigh as he goes to settle them on either side of you, effectively trapping you on top of the counter.

“i-it’s not bad i guess...” your words trail off at the end as you allow your eyes to wander away elsewhere in an attempt to distract yourself from how intimate this position feels.

“y/n,” you turn your attention back towards iwaizumi and your eyes widen at the close proximity between you two. “do you use any lip products?”

“just lip... gloss...” your breath hitches when you notice that he‘s starting to lean in closer as his eyes travel down to your parted lips.

but before he gets a chance to put his hands on you, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as realization also seems to hit iwaizumi at the same time and he immediately jerks away.

“uh, i think my roommates calling me,” you jump off the counter and dig into the pockets of your shorts so that you can retrieve your buzzing phone. “i’ll see you around campus?”

“yeah, see you around.”

he watches as you head for the exit and once you’re out of sight, he leans against the counter you were just sitting on a minute ago and lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“that was so lame of you iwa-chan.”

he turns his head towards the direction of where the voice came from and sees oikawa striding into the kitchen.

“you totally got her wrapped around your finger, don’t you?” oikawa states as iwaizumi chuckles.

“fuck yeah i do,” he brings his hand up for a handshake. “i can’t believe she fell for my ‘you’re different from other girls’ speech.”

“and i usually never go for freshmen since they’re always so damn annoying but y/n... she’s gonna be a fun one to play with.” he adds.

“you’re a real douchebag.” oikawa says as he downs the rest of whatever is in his cup before discarding it into the nearest trash can.

“hey, if i’m gonna move back to japan soon then might as well make the most of the time i have left here, right?” iwaizumi defends himself.

“spoken like a true jackass.” the chocolate-haired male snorts.

“whatever,” iwaizumi rolls his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. “i’m leaving in less than a month and a half so i’ll hit it and quit it.”

“that phrase is so corny, why not ‘bust a load and hit the road’?” oikawa suggests.

“i am not having this conversation with you right now.” iwaizumi irks before walking out of the kitchen with a mopey oikawa hot on his trail.

“so rude!”

it’s been almost a week now since your encounter with iwaizumi and you have yet to see him around campus. well, it was inevitable as he was all the way on the other side of the school, but deep down you wished you could at least run into him during the course of your week.

you briefly remember reina giving you an earful once you got back to the dorms because you had explained to her the minute you two got back that you met iwaizumi hajime at the party and even met one of his friends.

“y/n, didn’t i tell you that you should stay away from that guy?”

“but he seemed like a really nice guy to me...” you started fiddling with your fingers.

“that’s what he wants you to think, y/n,” she takes a seat next to you on your bed and wraps an arm around your shoulder, patting it soothingly. “i just— you’re new here and from the moment you stepped foot in our dorm i knew immediately that you’re gonna live a successful life and the last thing i want happening is for some college playboy to break your heart and ruin your life.”

your heart couldn’t help but grow fuzzy at her words.

“trust me, if this were any other guy then i wouldn’t mind you talking to them, but hajime is notorious for breaking hearts and ruining lives,” she puts her arms behind her back and uses them to support her body as she leans back. “there was this girl back in my freshman year, half japanese half white, her name was kaori, and i’ve never cared to keep track of any of hajime’s flings but she was the most serious case.”

“hajime and her met the same way you and him did, at a party, and he chatted her up until she eventually gave into those pretty boy charms of his and they started going out. the first few weeks were fine and the entire campus was raving about how this was one of hajime’s longest standing relationships yet and they seemed to be at a good spot in their relationship. but it wasn’t until one day, photos of her nudes were plastered all over the entire school and someone in hajime’s friend group ratted him out and said that he was the one who started sending the photos. obviously the school found out but they couldn’t get enough evidence that hajime was the one who sent her nudes around but since they had to do something, they decided to suspend kaori instead for ‘distribution of explicit content’ and the whole school started flooding her dms with death throats and she was labeled ‘the whore of uci.’ i think she eventually got tired of everything because she disappeared from the school without a trace, like completely disappeared. all her socials were deleted and she deleted her number so no one could contact her at all.”

after reina finished the entire story, you were remembered speechless. sure iwaizumi was a bit on the flirtier side and didn’t hesitate to test the waters, but that didn’t mean that he was completely shameless and disrespected your boundaries. you had a gut feeling that underneath that tough facade of his was a boy who was a normal college student like everybody else and had a goal in mind that he wanted to achieve, but after hearing reina’s story you weren’t sure what to think anymore.

“that poor little thing, she was such a sweet girl and it’s such a shame that she just had to go and get involved with hajime. if she still went here then i’m sure you and her would’ve gotten along,” reina adds. “she kind of reminds me of you in a way, you have this innocence to you that can’t be replicated yet you actually have a spine unlike those girls that throw themselves at hajime. tsk, how shameless of them, throwing yourself at a boy who’s known for tossing girls to the side once he’s down with them.”

needless to say, after that long conversation you had with reina, you’ve started to become more wary of the boy, but an unknown force keeps pulling you back to him.

reina had invited you to another party this weekend and while you were a bit reluctant about accepting her invitation, you thought that this might be your chance at ever seeing iwaizumi again so with your one track mind, you accept her offer without a second thought which now leads you to present time.

you feel a wave of deja vu wash over you as sweater weather blasts from the speakers and you can feel the heavy bass shake up the entire house.

you and reina struggle to nagivate through the crowd all while trying to avoid the couples making out in order to get upstairs where her friends had texted her to meet and you’re glad you’ve gained enough confidence to give her the green light when she asked if you wanted to meet her friends because you’re not sure how much more your eardrums could take.

“it’s right here!” reina knocks on the door three times and just when she’s about to go in for the fourth knock, the door swings open, revealing an all too familiar chocolate-haired male.

“y/n!” he exclaims as he throws his arms around you and reina just barely manages to dodge his long arms.

“hey! you almost hit my fuckin’ face you douche!” she cries. “and who the hell are you? i’ve never seen you around before.”

“oikawa, you’re still here?” your voice is muffled by his chest and you have to muster up all of the strength you have to pry him off of you.

“baby, you’re gonna be seeing me around for a whole month!” you and reina give each other a blank stare.

“first of all, don’t call me baby,” you duck down and it proves successful in getting out of his hold. “and secondly, what are you doing here?”

oikawa pouts at the lack of contact but continues the conversation nonetheless.

“iwaizumi snuck me in again and i’m staying at his place for now so wherever he goes, i tag along,” he points behind him as you and reina peer inside the room. “so what are you guys here for?”

“well my friends told me to meet me here, but it seems like they’re fraternizing with the enemy.” reina scrunches her nose up in disgust and you catch a glimpse of iwaizumi with his arm wrapped around a blonde girl’s shoulder.

“well iwaizumi’s friends are friends of mine and since your friends are iwaizumi’s friends then you’re my friend as well!” oikawa proclaims as he throws his arms around both you and reina this time and pulls you guys in for a side hug.

“let’s head in!” he pulls you guys into the room, not forgetting to lock the door as it shuts behind him.

iwaizumi notices you and you give him a small smile before taking a seat next to reina, oikawa following suit as he sits next to you as well.

“hajime.” reina greets him with a curt nod.

“reina... nice to see you,” iwaizumi says briefly.

“so who’s up for a game of seven minutes of heaven?” the girl who’s in iwaizumi’s arms proposes.

“c’mon! seven minutes in heaven? really? we’re in college now, let’s do something a little more daring!” a boy with black hair shouts.

“fine, let’s play strip poker then!” you hear someone suggest.

all of the girls in the room groan.

“pervert, you just wanna play it so that you can see us in our undergarments.”

“isn’t that the point of the game though?”

“i don’t even know how to play poker.”

“is this your second time at a party?” oikawa leans in and whispers into your ear, not wanting to put all of the attention on your conversation.

“yeah, i wasn’t planning on going in the first place but reina managed to convince me.” you lied straight through your teeth, not wanting to spare the embarrassment of telling oikawa the real reason why you came to the party.

“oh really? what would have you done all by yourself on this fine friday night if you stayed back at the dorms by yourself then?” he questions.

“probably head to the cafe thats off campus and try their new milk bread,” you say bluntly.

“milk bread?” you turn your head a bit and see oikawa trying to stifle a laugh.

you slap his thigh which prompts him to yelp.

“what’s so funny idiot?”

“n-nothing! it’s just... i like milk bread too.”

“really?” your eyes sparkle and oikawa can’t stop the genuine smile that forces its way onto his face. “do you wanna come with me tomorrow to try it then? i was gonna ask reina but she’s going on a blind date or something tomorrow and i don’t wanna bother her.”

“sure, but why me?”

“well i don’t know anybody else here, and you’re technically like my friend right?”

“what makes you think we’re friends?” he says but quickly comes to the realization that it sounded a lot more heartless than he had intended it to.

“sorry that came off rude...” he sheepishly scratches his neck.

“no i get what you were trying to say, but i mean, i consider you my friend so isn’t that enough?”

“geez quit flirting you two!” reina groans as she pushes you and out of reflex, oikawa immediately latches onto your arms so that you don’t accidentally bump heads with him.

“we’re not flirting,” you roll your eyes before muttering a small ‘thank you’ to oikawa after he releases you. “i’m just inviting him out to that cafe that i’ve been telling you about since you’re too busy going on that blind date.”

“hey hey hey! you were to keep quiet about that y/n!” reina loudly whispers as everyone else in the room roars in laughter.

“oops! sorry reina!” you snicker behind your hand.

“oh you’re so gonna get it!” she tackles you onto the floor. “oikawa, hold her down!”

you feel an extra set of hands put your arms down as reina uses her legs to pin your legs down.

“w-wait! oikawa i thought we were friends! don’t—” your words are suddenly cut off and you begin to break into a fit of laughter as reina commences her tickle assault on you.

“f-f..fuck o— AHAHAHAHA..... FUCK OFF R-REINA!” you manage to say in between breaks.

after what feels like minutes of torture, reina finally lets up and you’re free from the shackles that is her and oikawa.

“you’re a traitor oikawa!” you cry as you sit back up, massaging your shoulders to release the tension that had built up in them within a span of 30 seconds.

the said male flat out ignores you though as he turns to face the rest of the group.

“any-who, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?”

“that’s lame.” iwaizumi finally speaks up.

“you’re lame! don’t make me tell everyone what went down last friday when—” oikawa is about to continue his sentence when iwaizumi suddenly sends him a cold glare that shuts him up.

“scary!” oikawa wraps his arms around you for what seems to be the umpteenth time tonight. “save me y/n!”

you roll your eyes.

“you’re awfully touchy with someone who you’ve only known for a week yet only met twice,” you complain but don’t make an effort to shy away from his touch.

“but we’re friends right? you even said so yourself!” he smirks at the face you make when you come upon the realization that he’s used your own words against you.

“whatever, do what you like,” you mumble against his arms. “i seriously envy your ability to get along with people easily.”

iwaizumi lets out a low growl as he witnesses the scene in front of him unfold. he wasn’t going to let oikawa get to you first when he clearly had his sights set on you from the moment you stepped foot into that party last friday.

he was going to be the first man to make a move on you and what better way to do so than a game of spin the bottle?

“how about,” iwaizumi picks up the half-empty bottle of beer next to him as he downs the rest of the contents inside before placing it flat on the floor in the middle of the room. “a game of spin the bottle?”

“and you think seven minutes of heaven is lame?” oikawa scoffs. “didn’t lara jean play it in middle school in that one flashback in to all the boys i’ve loved before?”

“you watched to all the boys i've loved before?” you ask oikawa.

“hell yeah i did!” he grins. “iwaizumi told me it’s corny but can’t a guy love his chick flicks?”

“you’re so lame!” you giggle, even though you too had watched it.

“have you seen the second movie?” he asks as you two begin to go off-topic again.

“no i haven’t, i heard it was bad so i just never bothered to watch it.” you shrug.

“dude we should watch it together then!” he suggests.

“and if it’s bad then i’m gonna kick you out of my dorm.” you snort.

the black-haired male from earlier clears his throat which prompts you and oikawa to stop talking.

“first of all, oikawa, y/n, get a room, and secondly, let’s play spin the bottle!” he yells.

the first few minutes of the game were boring and the matchups were weird, to say the least: reina had to kiss the blonde girl (you found out her name was genevieve), the black-haired boy (kevin) had to kiss some girl who you recognized was from your seminar class, and then when it came to be oikawa’s turn, the bottle landed on him so he just ended up kissing himself through a mirror out of his own free will (trust me, no one there wanted to see that happen and no one could stop him even if they tried.)

there were about 12 people in the room, 13 including you, and out of everyone there the one person who you would definitely not want to kiss.

iwaizumi.

it wasn’t like you despised him or anything, but after hearing about him from reina along with the girl who had been sitting in his lap this entire night, you really did not want to deal with a target on your back and an enemy acquired within your first month of living in the states.

so when it came down to your turn, you were silently praying to the gods that it would land on anybody but iwaizumi— heck even oikawa would be a better option.

but it seems like lady luck had her smile turned away from you because as the bottle began to slow down, a symbol of your fate being sealed in this very room, it had landed on the one person you did not want it to land on at all.

“y/n, you have to kiss hajime!”

the whole room went silent.

“what?!” genevieve shrieks and the ringing in your ears lingers around for longer than you’d expected. “i am not letting some... freak! kiss hajime!”

“genevieve, y/n is not a freak,” reina defends you, oikawa following up with a ‘yeah! she’s not a freak!’ as well. “you literally just met her and you’re just mad you don’t get to kiss him.”

“and while i’m not too... happy with this either, rules are rules.” the brunette continues as she sends a disapproving look iwaizumi’s way.

“well, pucker up buttercup,” iwaizumi picks genevieve up off his lap and scoots over to you. “i’m about to make it up to you for last week.”

he leans in closer and you shut your eyes, preparing for whatever is about to come next.

his lips are soft in a way, and what’s supposed to be a quick smooch turns into a full-blown make-out session as he starts to deepen the kiss by holding you from the back of your head, tangling his hand within your hair, and tilting his head to the side for more leeway.

you try to push him away but it proves to little avail as the grip he has on your waist with his other arm is too strong. your hands mindlessly find purchase in his brown locks as his tongue swipes along your bottom lip, asking for entrance. at first, you’re hesitant, but when you open your eyes and you see him staring into your e/c orbs with that alluring look in them, you can’t help but part your lips just the tiniest amount as if to test the waters, but it proves to be more than enough room for iwaizumi to easily slip his tongue into your oral cavity, turning the kiss into battle for dominance.

he tastes like a mix of beer and mint, a strange combination but he makes it work somehow.

the hand he had on your waist trails further downwards and finds a resting spot on your thigh and you can’t help but let out a small moan at the way he starts to rub the sensitive part of your thigh as his hand inches dangerously closer and closer to your core.

it’s only when you start to hear whistling and the ‘get a room!’ comments that you remember that you’re still in the middle of a game of ‘spin the bottle’ and that there's an audience watching as you two shamelessly make out.

this doesn’t seem to faze iwaizumi, however, but the adrenaline in your body aids in your attempt to push him off of you and once you’re completely free from his grasp, you immediately make a beeline to anywhere else but this cursed room.

“y/n!” you hear oikawa and reina call after you but you would rather die than spend another minute in that godforsaken room— especially not after iwaizumi embarrassed you like that in front of everyone.

part one | part two | part three | part four

[sunshineseung]

Journal Part 2 // Jeongin

🍄 | genre: smut ☁️ | pairing: Yang Jeongin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 3.2k 🌸 | includes: milf!reader x babysitter!college student!virgin!jeongin, solo masturbation (m), “mommy/ma’am”, other pet names, more smut within smut [spanking, punishment], breast play, begging, agreement of safe word, unprotected PIV, choking, creampie, male overstimulation, a lil bit more but that’s the main stuff

🌊 | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Finale |

The dim light of the desk lamp was all that lit the room as Jeongin desperately jotted his thoughts down into his journal. It was very late at night, almost sunrise, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you. As he was writing, he was completely hard, and his hand was lazily stroking his cock, not in an attempt to reach an orgasm, but rather just to relieve some of the pent up energy he had inside of himself. 

This journal will no longer have to be fantasy. Finally, after years of going after girls and failing miserably, I have a girl that wants me, but not just a girl, a woman. Ms. L/n, the woman this entire book is for, said she needs me, and she did get me like she wanted. Although I wasn’t thinking straight, I remember everything. Her defined hands worshipped my body while she teased me, and even with my underwear on, it was hard not whimpering and moaning as she gripped my cock like I’ve wanted her to for so long. When she went down on me, it felt like a dream. I almost pinched myself out of fear that it was all a dream, but when I looked down to see my release covering her chest, I knew it wasn’t. 

The kiss… Her lips were so pretty and soft. The way she kissed me made my heart burst, like my life was just starting to begin. As cheesy as that sounds, I can’t shake the feeling that my neighbor who I once only lusted for was becoming more than just the woman I think about when I’m needy. I want to be with her all the time, and not just for sex. It’s too early to say I’m in love, of course, but despite her being over ten years older than me, would it be crazy of me to say that I like her?

Jeongin shut the journal, putting it in his bookbag for tomorrow. Looking back out of his bedroom window, the light behind your curtains was off, signaling it was way too late for him to be up. He slept good that night knowing all of his wildest and dirtiest dreams were about to come true, or at least a few of them.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

School was always a drag, but only having one class on Friday’s was a gift from God for Jeongin. All he had to do was get through an hour and a half of class, then he could go to your house. Through text, you told him to be prepared to stay late, possibly overnight, and being the overly excited (and horny) teenage boy that Jeongin is, he couldn’t help but let his imagination run wild. Late night sex, morning sex, shower sex, the things he wanted to do with you were endless. Still, he also wanted to hold your hand, as weird as that sounded.

Putting his feelings aside, he joined his last class of the week and scrolled through his phone as his teacher blabbed on about who-knows-what. He needed something to distract him from the massive distraction that was your entire existence. 

He dashed out of his house right when class ended, showing up to your house earlier than usual only by a few minutes. You thanked him for watching your kids and left, and the casualness of your mannerisms alarmed Jeongin. You’re all he’s been thinking about for the past day, so how were you so calm and collected as if you weren’t wearing the same shirt that had his cum on it, albeit washed and dried right after the fact.

Your kids certainly help Jeongin get his mind off of you when they immediately ask him to play once you leave. After going through every jigsaw puzzle and playing with every Barbie doll, he finally put them to bed, giving him over an hour before you get home from work to write whatever he wants in his journal. He just has to avoid falling asleep this time. 

“Please hit me harder ma’am,” I whine as she has me bent over her lap. I deserve this, and even more so, I want this. I want Ms. L/n to spank my ass as hard as she can while I writhe in her lap with my hard cock rubbing against her leg. “I’ve been a bad boy, haven’t I?” The marks she leaves on my ass burn in the best way. Feeling her nails dig into my skin when she grabs the flesh that she’s made bright red, I cry out of pleasure and pain. What’s so rewarding about being punished, and why does it make my cock twitch with excitement when you treat me like shit?

Subconsciously, Jeongin’s free hand has moved to the tent in his pants, rubbing over the fabric of his jeans for the slightest bit of stimulation. Feeling himself, he puts the journal to the side after writing nearly two pages of disgusting fantasies. Despite having a nice, wholesome time with your two daughters under an hour ago, his mind, as usual, wonders to the thought of you pleasuring him and yourself as much as you want. To Jeongin, he’s your babysitter but also your toy that will happily let you use him however you wish, basically making him your slave. 

Getting home a few minutes early, you walk into your house to see the living room empty, although you were expecting your babysitter to be on the couch. Opening the door to your kids’ room, they’re sound asleep with no sign of him. Your head spins when you hear muffled groans coming from your bedroom. Being only mildly pissed, you storm into your room to see none other Yang Jeongin curled into your comforter, jerking off while his head is buried into your pillow.

“Couldn’t wait for me, huh?” Jeongin feels the edge of the bed dip as you sit on the edge, but he doesn’t stop. Actually, he speeds up, moaning louder now that you’ve closed the door. He’s still partially dressed with his cute little ass hanging out of the back of his pulled down jeans. “Aw, is my pretty boy about to cum? Who are you thinking about, hm?” 

“Y-you.” Jeongin sighs loudly, feeling himself get closer to his climax just by you mentioning it. “I was thinking about you, only you, ma’am.” His whines of this new name make your face flush. You reach out for his thigh, turning him so he’s laying on his back. He flops into position like a ragdoll, but his hand remains pumping his cock. Just by feeling your hands on him, he cums all over his wrinkled tee shirt. Embarrassed he came so fast, he apologizes, but you know very well he isn’t really done yet.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. You’re so young, and I’m sure you can go another round.”

You pull his pants and underwear down his legs, making him gasp from the sudden exposure despite you seeing it all before. “Now sit up and take that shirt off.”

Fully obedient, he stands off the bed and strips until he’s totally naked, face red as he awkwardly holds his hands to his sides. You sit in front of him, running your hands down his arms until you grab his hips and bring him closer until his cock is right at your chest. Although he’s still a little soft, you’re sure he’ll get hard in no time.

“Undress me, Jeongin.” His eyes go wide as he looks your figure up and down, scared of what he’s about to see, and even more scared of what he’s about to do. With a dramatic gulp, he unbuttons the familiar work shirt you were wearing, exposing your bra. He slowly leans down, carefully not to faceplant into your chest, unbuttoning your top entirely before you shake it off of your shoulders, the article of clothing falling behind you on the bed. “I’m guessing you don’t know how to unhook a bra?”

“N-no. I’m sorry.” Jeongin moves back and covers his face with his hands as you reach behind you and easily unhook your bra for him, dropping it onto your thighs and tossing it somewhere on the floor. When he removes his hands from his face, his jaw hangs open. He can’t take his eyes off of your tits, which are much nicer than he could ever imagine. “May I touch them, mommy?”

“Of course, baby.” You take his wrist in your hand and pull his right hand to your left breast, basically forcing him to squeeze it between his fingers, not that he minded. Seeing him so flustered and confused only made you more turned on. He was so innocent, yet the things he wrote in his journal were so vulgar. You could hardly believe that the words in that cursed book came from the boy that didn’t know how to unhook a bra. “Put your mouth to the nipple.” 

“Huh?”

“Don’t act so naïve, Jeongin. I know you’ve thought about this before.” He finally looks up to you out of shock. “So shy? Now? But when you write in that book of yours, you’re not shy, are you?” 

“No ma’am. I’m sorry.” 

Stopping his hand, you pull him down to his knees by his wrist. He’s eye-level with your stomach, but he quickly raises himself up to connect his lips with one of your nipples. You moan shortly as your hand tangles in his hair, pulling him closer into your chest. Even after breastfeeding your two kids, your nipples were sensitive as ever. 

“Good boy.” You stare down at him as he’s focused, swirling his tongue around your bud. When he finally looks up to you, your head is thrown back from the mild pleasure Jeongin’s shooting through your nerves. 

He’s starting to feel bold. Jeongin moves from one nipple to the other, massaging your other spit-coated breast with his hand. His fingers rub your nipple, twisting it just enough for it to all feel good. Your moans become more frequent, and being able to hear you groan for him is all he’s ever wanted. 

“Mommy, can I fuck your tits?” You’re the one that’s shocked this time. He pulls back, his hand becoming still on your other breast. “I want to fuck your tits so bad, please?” 

“Whoa there, baby boy. Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you?” You laugh at his eagerness, pulling him by his hair to stand up. Just seeing how hard he’s gotten by sucking on your tits is enough to make you almost laugh again, but you wouldn’t want to be too mean to the poor boy. 

Moving back on the bed, you lay down and spread your legs. His eyes immediately direct towards your heat, still covered by your work pants. When you gesture towards the obstacle, he lets out a tiny “oh” before pulling your pants down, leaving you in your sopping panties. 

He hooks his index fingers on the hips of your panties, gently pulling them down your legs before dropping them to the floor with your panties. Again, this is greater than anything he could have imagined. 

“C’mere, my little prince.” You take his hands in yours, dragging him to sit on your thighs while you lay under him. You don’t let go of his hands, and he really doesn’t want you to. Your pet names for him always make him blush, but this one in particular made his heart beat even faster than before. “Have you written anything about me since yesterday?”

Jeongin’s mind becomes clouded by all of the things he’s written in the past 24 hours. Every scenario and confession fills his head, and it takes him a few moments to answer before he comes back to reality to answer you. “Y-yes mommy.”

“What did you write?”

Pause. “S-spank me?” Jeongin’s voice is only a light whisper. 

“What was that?” You lean up a little, holding your hand behind your ear to tease him. “You have to speak up, Jeonginnie.”

“I wrote about you spanking me.” His voice returns to him, now fully speaking from his chest. “Punishing me, treating me like a doll.”

“Oh my God, baby. That’s so perverted.” You rub his thighs up and down as you stare at his cock, now twitching with your every word. “You want to be my little doll? Let me do whatever I want to you?” 

“Y-yes!” His overexcited nature makes you giggle as you feel around his pelvis, hands getting dangerously close to his dick. “Can I be mommy’s little toy? I’ll be good, I promise!”

“But don’t you want me to punish you too?” You bite your lip as you look up at him. He’s looking off into the distance, imagining all of the nasty things he wants you to do to him. “Spank you, degrade you, deprive you?” 

“Can’t I have both?” His retort is quick. You didn’t know he could answer you so soon since he was clearly dipping into subspace, although he didn’t even know he did that. “Be your good boy and make you punish me?”

“Wow, so dirty~ We’ll need a safe word, alright?” He nods in understanding, watching you as you try to come up with a word that you could both comfortably say. “How about ‘mango’? Would that be good for you?”

“Mango is good, yeah.” You feel around the base of his cock, watching precum drip from his tip as he groans.

“What do you want to do right now, baby boy?”

“Oh,” he ponders for a second, “p-please fuck me.” 

“Ah, I love it when you beg.” You roughly push him over, his body falling onto the bed right where he was jerking off not too long ago. Climbing over him, you line his member up with your entrance, running his tip through your folds. He whimpers under you, biting the side of his hand to hold back any unwanted sounds he might let out. “Are you ready?”

“Y-yes, mommy! Please let me feel you.” The hand he isn’t biting down on goes to one of his nipples, feeling his chest like he just did to you. You slowly lower onto him, watching his facial expressions rapidly change as he gets used to feeling your cunt around him. He isn’t the biggest, but he still manages to fill you up and make you feel just right. 

Once you’re fully lowered onto him, he grabs your hips and holds you, whining your name over and over again. You can tell he’s trying to get something out, but his brain is too blank to form a sentence. Adjusting yourself on his cock, he groans with a high-pitched whine following shortly after.

“Wait, w-what if I cum inside you?��� You look down at him, smiling at his cuteness. “I don’t think I’ll be able to last too long.”

“Don’t worry about a thing, baby.” You lean over and kiss his forehead, holding his face in your palms. “No matter what, I’m not stopping until I cum, got it?”

“Y-yes, ah~ Y/n!” Leaning back from his face, you raise up on him while he is mid-sentence, making him moan out for you. When you start to ride him, his sounds just can’t stop. Fearful that he’ll wake your children, you lean forward again and cover his mouth with your hand, still allowing him to breath through his nose. Ignoring your hand, he continues to cry and wail, feeling like he was on cloud nine just from you riding him. 

“You have such a nice cock, Jeonginnie. It’s even better inside me, though.” Your mind starts to fog, ignoring the younger boy’s needs to chase your own high. While one of your hands covers his mouth, your other hand wraps around his neck, choking him just enough to make him sob from the thrill. A few tears rolled down his cheeks, and without being able to warn you, he reached his climax and shot his load inside you, but you didn't stop.

Cum leaks out of your hole as your movements become quicker and rougher. The hand that covered his mouth has now joined your other hand around his neck, choking him as he sobs from the overstimulation, yet the predetermined safe word isn’t even crossing his mind. He loves everything you’re doing to him more than he could ever describe with words.

Your thumb runs across his bottom hip and he opens his mouth, light sobs leaving his throat. Ducking down towards his face, you kiss him with full tongue, something he’s never experienced before. Still, he quickly learned the movements and kissed you back, loving the feeling of your mouth against his. 

Pulling away, you stare down into his eyes. You looked beyond beautiful to him, and the entire visual of your half-lidded eyes, gaping mouth, bouncing tits, and dripping cunt making his cock disappear over and over again, he couldn’t help but get hard again.

“Cum for me, please mommy?” He pouts, giving you the glimmering eyes that always make you shudder. His hand hesitantly makes his way down to your clit, circling it with one finger while you ride his cock. You’re not entirely sure how he knows where the clitoris is, but it feels so good that you don’t even care. 

Mewling with your entire throat, your cunt tightens around Jeongin’s cock as you ride out your high, shallowing your movements. The sight of you cumming from him makes him moan right with you, nearly cumming inside you again. AS you come down from your orgasm, you slowly pull yourself off of him, his cock dropping against his abdomen, covering in the combined juices of you two. Catching your breath, you lay next to Jeongin, secretly hoping he’ll turn to his side so you can spoon him for a minute. 

“I can stay, right?” Jeongin turns to you while you lay on your side, looking to you for any sign of discontent. You nod as you stand up to go to the bathroom and clean up. “Oh, where are you going?”

“I can’t sleep like this.” You laugh as you gesture to your pussy, clearly in no shape to sit overnight. “I’ll be right back out.”

You disappear into the bathroom, ready to take care of the mess between your legs. Jeongin grabs a tissue and wipes himself clean of any release left on himself before laying back down and going on his phone, seeing a plethora of text message notifications from his friends’ group chat. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to check them right now. He just wants to bliss out, joyfully going through the entire night over again in his mind, cementing every action and event in his memory. 

Walking back from the bathroom, you toss yourself onto the bed and lay next to Jeongin, asking him politely to turn over so you can be the big spoon. With your chest pressed against his back, he puts his phone down and falls asleep.

Suddenly, your phone rings, and you quickly reach over to answer the call without seeing who it was. Unfortunately, it was your ex husband's voice coming from the other end, and you wish you had turned your ringer off. Jeongin was asleep, just like your kids, but as you rubbed your eyes from tiredness, you couldn’t help but regret answering the call.

“Y/n, are you fucking one of my students?”

Shit.

[theladyismyshepard]

Here’s my first crack at some Donna x pre-transitioned ftm!reader content to get the ball rolling with her reaction to you coming out, and I do warn you, this is me answering asks before having a chance to buy and play the game myself (I like hard copies sue me) so some things might not be right or ooc, like the fact I have Angie refer to Donna as her “mom” *shrug*

TW: mentioning of slight dysphoria

Make Me Feel Alive

The fog that acted as a fine layer that obscured the vision of the ground perfectly reflected the gloomy ache that lodged itself painfully in your chest, nearly making it impossible to breathe past. Your forehead lightly rested against the cool windowpane as you stared unseeingly out into the misty valley below. You weren’t feeling very comfortable today and you couldn’t stand to look at your reflection. It had your smile feeling forced and it didn’t feel right on your face at all.

You couldn’t slip, not in front of Donna, not when you feared what she would think of you. When you first had been sent to Donna as punishment straight from the hand of Mother Miranda, she had been cold and distant, as if your presence wasn’t appreciated nor was it a nuisance; she just... didn’t really acknowledge you at all as you tended to House Beneviento. That left one other... source of company for you to get acquainted with in her noticeable absence.

You shuddered at the thought of Angie finding out that you didn’t feel “normal”, and the onslaught that you would endure for it. The doll seemed to always be attached to your leg, and whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you weren’t certain of yet. The little thing seemed obsessed with you, and Donna was quick to notice that fact. Now, you had her full attention.

“Angie does not grow attached to guests... and yet...”

It was the first words she had uttered to you since she had first introduced herself, and it caught you off guard as you were so absorbed in dusting the paintings decorating the walls. You whirled around on your heel, heart pounding rapidly against your rib cage, feeling too light for comfort. You were met with no expression as she wore her veil, and you never wanted to read her more.

“She whispers... things to me.” You admitted uncertainly, unsure if your definitions of “getting attached” were the same. “Frightening things sometimes,”

“You are still here, are you not?” countered Donna. “I have not warned her any of harm befalling you.”

You swallowed past the sudden lump in your throat that formed at her words. Now you were well aware that you were free game running around the House, and away from Angie. Should you feel lucky? Because you’re starting to feel nothing at all.

“I don’t know why she... likes me.” You forced out, unsure of what answer Donna was seeking from you.

“Interesting...” was all she said before she turned away from you and left you standing there with a duster in hand.

You blinked away the memory of the first time you and Donna had a semi-conversation, and you considered that to be the turning point of your relationship. Especially when Angie was muttering the next day, something about “Why am I forbidden now?” and it had your lips curved into an unexpected smile that you couldn’t permanently shake for the rest of the day.

As the days bled into nights and as the weeks flew to months, there was a bond between the two of you that threatened to expand and force itself to be the only thing your mind was capable of comprehending. There was something melancholic about the air that always surrounded Donna and over time, it began pulling at your heartstrings that this soft heart had been so hurt in some way that she couldn’t even face the world without her veil, and you were determined to figure out the mystery of everything about her.

And that made it so easy to put aside your own insecurities and discomforts with your body for the sake of putting Donna’s needs above your own. You cooked for her, you cleaned for her, you did the house and yard maintenance for her. You made sure she had nothing else to do but to focus on what she loved — puppeteering. At first she had offered you no indication that she noticed or appreciated your effort in taking care of her, but then it started with a gentle caress of her finger over yours when you had handed her a cup one day. You couldn’t stop staring at her hands that day, and thinking of what they were capable of.

Even Angie’s bizarrely threatening comments had cooled to mere teasing and dark humor. Though she was still attached to your leg quite literally. The doll took every opportunity she could to curl herself around your leg and thigh, enjoying the ride as you continued on while occasionally glancing down at her giggling form. Even so, being as civil and calm as you and Angie were now, you still weren’t comfortable with the doll and her loose mouth knowing your secret and spreading it to the woman you-

Served. And that was all you would allow yourself even in your head. It was too painful to dream of scenarios where Donna felt the same fluttering in her stomach as you did, just to return to reality with the constriction of your chest; It was too painful to subconsciously trick yourself with hope. So, you decided to numb yourself from feeling anything completely as you tended to your duties around Donna’s home. You didn’t even bother with mindless chitchat with the veiled woman anymore when you presented her with her sustenance, and not once did you catch the furrow of her brow when you started taking your leave without a word, not when she concealed everything from you and everyone else.

You blinked past your blurry vision and saw the fog thickening until it blanketed the entire valley, even up the stumps of the trees. The small part of your forehead that was still resting against the windowpane had gone numb from the prolonged exposure to the chill of the glass. A sigh couldn’t help but find its way out of your throat, and it fogged up your view of the outside. You were contemplating reaching a finger out to draw a frowning face in the condensation, but a solid form collided with your leg and plopped itself down onto your right foot. You didn’t even have to look down.

“Hello, Angie,” you greeted monotonously, not in the mood to act overly friendly with the doll.

“What’s your problem?” demanded Angie, but you knew she wouldn’t have even asked if she wasn’t interested in what had you sour.

“Nothing,” you whispered, offering her a smile that barely lifted one corner of your mouth.

“Even my mom has noticed,” spoke Angie matter-of-factly, and you knew she felt you stiffen. “You don’t like that, huh?”

“What’re you talking about?” You cursed the way your voice trembled, but the doll relished in it.

“You’ve been distant, she says, and she wants to know why.” drawled Angie, gazing up at you as her hold on your leg tightened.

You nearly found yourself arguing with this doll, but you bit back any remarks of denial that danced so tantalizingly on the tip of your tongue, ready to take the plummet. You sighed heavily yet again as unbidden tears pricked the corners of your eyes at the mentioning of your behavior, and what was causing it by extension. You couldn’t tell her even if you wanted to, not past the weight that suddenly found itself stuck inside of your chest. Angie vehemently shook at your leg.

“Well?”

“Angie,” came a sharp voice, effectively cutting off your lack of response. “That will be all.”

Your neck almost could’ve broke with how quick your head snapped over to face Donna. She still had her veil on, but there was tension in her shoulders as she scolded the doll. Angie did the best she could about looking chastised as she scurried away from you and down the hall, not even seeking the comfort of her mother at the moment. So that left the two of you to stand there in uncomfortable silence until someone decided to break it, and you decided that that was not going to be you.

You couldn’t tell if you felt relieved or if you felt disappointed when Donna paused for a moment before turning on her heel and walked gracefully away from you and down the hall. You released a shaky breath and wasn’t sure why your eyes felt as wet as they did when you watched her go without a word, without any care. You squeezed them tightly shut, hoping against odds that it would dispel the tears lining them, and when you opened them again, you saw Donna standing still and looking back over her shoulder at you.

“Would you please follow me?” asked Donna, and you were surprised by how much of a genuine, nervous question it was rather than a demand that she could rightfully give.

“I- sure, I mean yes!” You stammered over yourself, unsure and nearly afraid, but your shaky legs took you forward one step at a time, and this time, Donna waited for you to fall into step with her.

“You seem tense,” Donna mused without looking over at you, and for once, you wished you had your own veil to shield yourself with once you decided that prolonging the inevitable would do no good.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, eyes turning downcast, and even you weren’t sure as to why you were apologizing.

“Are you alright, honey?”

The name at the end coupled with the concern you could hear in her voice had you looking right back up at her, and this time you could tell she was observing every part of your face, almost as if she were checking for the lie coming. It was too much to explain to her, too much at one time and you found it would be a lot easier to shut down and give generic, albeit hollow responses until she left you alone with yourself.

But what if? What if Donna made it easy enough to let your tongue slip and unleash it all as if it were nothing at all? You couldn’t see her reaction, and that alone, the slightest of hesitations, had your lungs seizing as you gazed right at her veil-covered face. What if she laughed at you? What if she called you unnatural? What if she banished you altogether? And that was how the cons had outweighed the pros, but now you’ve hesitated too long and Donna turned her body to fully face you.

“Will you make it just a little bit further? My bedroom is close by.” she said softly, her hand reaching out to you, and you took it, and for a moment it didn’t feel right in yours, but you shook the thought away, nearly grateful just to hold her hand.

You nodded your head, and the walk passed you by in a blur, one foot guiding you at a time as your thoughts battled for dominance and left you in the whirlwind. Donna pushed her bedroom door open and one thought that did take purchase of your mind was “Oh my god, she has me in her bedroom” and it offered you an anchor to latch onto instead of focusing on the care and affection you’ve grown to feel for Donna or the way your body felt too curved, too exposed, too wrong. Donna perched herself in the chair that she had in her room, and held her hand out to signal for you to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“You don’t talk much anymore.” Donna stated simply, and you made a noncommittal noise in the back of your throat. “Hm.”

“I’m-”

“Sorry,” interrupted Donna, and you could hear something coloring her tone. “Why? What do you keep apologizing for?”

“Nothing,” you shrug before looking down at your lap. “And a lot of things,”

“You are so very helpful, dear.” Donna quipped, and for some reason, it gave you the flash of irritation that you needed to get the ball rolling.

“Well maybe I don’t trust you!” You snapped, aware that you shouldn’t be saying it, but unable to prevent it from coming out, and you really regretted it when you heard a small intake of breath.

“Have I proven myself disloyal to you in some way?” spat Donna, her voice suddenly cold, and it had the fight leaving your body, and leaving you exhausted.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” You whimpered, hanging your head as it was too much energy to hold it up. “You’ll make fun of me.”

“I...”

The words died in Donna’s throat as she sat perfectly still in her seat. Her defensive attitude was instantly replaced with worry and confusion, and it had her momentarily thrown. She watched your body tremble with every labored breath you exhaled and after the third inhale, she was on her feet and sitting by your side on the edge of the bed. She took your hand and ran her thumb across your knuckles reassuringly.

“I could never hate you, and I would never make fun of you about what’s bothering you so terribly.” insisted Donna, taking your hand into both of hers now to softly caress it with her fingertips.

“I...” You whispered breathlessly, your wide eyes glued to your joined hands and it made it easier to not look at her. “I love you,”

The hands surrounding yours squeezed tightly before bringing it up, up, up, and slipping your hand behind her veil to bring it to her smiling lips.

“I know,” she whispered back, and you felt the heat of her breath against your hand. “I’ve known for some time, and I love you, too.”

Your mouth fell open in shock and you stared into the blackness that was her veil, your eyes darting back and forth where you thought her eyes to be. She was still smiling as she pressed kisses to your hand.

“W-Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” You pressed, unsure of what emotion you were going to land on. “If you knew?”

“There is something else you’re still holding back... why is that?” countered Donna, and she didn’t give you time to even think of a response before she was answering herself. “Because you aren’t ready, and I wasn’t... until now.”

“What changed?” You couldn’t help but ask, and you sorta felt selfish that you didn’t hesitate to press for answers while Donna simply let you come to terms with your own struggle at your own time.

“Me,” said Donna, her sudden chuckle sounded more of a dry sob she couldn’t hold back. “I changed over time and it was because of you... You used to be so lively around here that it made me come back to life as well... and then you suddenly disappeared.”

“I...” You trailed off, and how could you defend yourself when you knew her words to be true... you were here, but it was also very noticeable that you weren’t.

“Are you ever going to come back to me?” questioned Donna, your joined hands falling into her lap.

You watched in awe as it seemed like everything was almost falling into place right before your eyes in the form of Donna playing with your fingers with her own. She managed to seem so small and unsure, and yet she held this power and grace to her that you both were aware of. She dipped her head, but you could somehow feel the heat of her gaze probing. The fluttering of everything inside of you had it all too easy to bring your free hand underneath her veil to cup her cheek and pull her full attention towards you.

“A lot of the times I don’t feel like a woman.” You said and by the time you realized you were saying it, your voice only had time to tremble on the last word. “I... sometimes I don’t feel comfortable in my own body... Sometimes I look at myself and wish things were different.”

“What can I do for you?” Donna questioned intensely, one of her hands releasing yours in favor of covering the one on her cheek. “I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable with yourself.”

You sat there staring dumbly at her, your mouth working but no words were coming forth. You weren’t exactly prepared for any sort of response much less a positive one, and here she was, asking what she could do to help you, and it had you laughing incredulously, your brow furrowing as you looked at nothing. But then you were sobbing and you couldn’t stop it no matter how hard you tried to reign it back in. Arms were surrounding you in less than a second.

“Is this what you were so scared of, honey?” whispered Donna, tucking you into the crook of her neck, and you nodded wildly.

“I-I thought you wouldn’t l-love me if I told you.” You hiccuped, feeling frayed and ragged in her embrace.

“Impossible,” said Donna, her tone leaving no room for argument. “There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel right in your own skin.”

“What now?” You croaked, most of the weight gone from your shoulders, but there was still some residual tension lingering, and she must have felt it because she was soon running her soft hand over your shoulder.

“Well...” started Donna, pulling away from you but grabbing both your hands to keep you close enough. “I love you, and you love me, and if you ever chose to commit to becoming a man, then I’m quite certain that Mother Miranda has connections that I will indeed look into about helping you change into who you are meant to be.”

Was it really that easy? Did you really just come out as smoothly as you did? And she just... accepted it? You were so scatterbrained that it left you spent and unable to do more than fall back into her ready embrace. You figured she must have read your string of thoughts because soon she cupped the back of your neck, and pulled back.

Just enough so she could use her unoccupied hand to lift her veil just enough to expose her lips. You didn’t have time to marvel before she surged forward, also using her hand to pull you in closer to connect your lips in a searing kiss that had you gasping into it. Your eyes slammed shut without your consent, but the softness of her mouth had you lacking the care of anything else. She gently scratched at the base of your neck and then she was pulling back, leaving you dazed.

“Thank you for sharing your secret with me.” said Donna, and the raw honesty had you blinking away more tears.

“Thank you for deserving it,” you whispered back, almost hunching from how bone-tired and light you felt from finally letting go of the weight that was holding you down for so long.

After a moment of comfortable silence passed of the two of you just basking in the afterglow of requited confession, Donna smirked, prompting a grin of your own. Before you could even ask, she already beat you to it.

“I think Angie will be ecstatic about having something of a father figure around here.”

You paled when you heard maniac giggling outside the door.

[randynova]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐎𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ♡ 𝐆𝐍! 𝐒/𝐎

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A.N.: I hope you enjoy these and this is what I feel would apply to Shirou. At the moment, I am not taking requests but when I do, I will announce it! 

Also thank you, dear people, for liking my last NSFW headcanons! It really motivated to write this and made me feel better about my writing. I’m still gonna be inactive due to school but hey! My health is much better and I’m focusing on school at the moment.

Enjoy!

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Shiro is a 1,000 year old virgin and has no experience, but he knows a basic amount of knowledge about the world of sex and its wonders. Sort of.

But it’s only because he was so focused on the peace and happiness of his fellow beastmen that he neglected this aspect of himself. Plus, it never really came up and if it did, he got distracted with something else. 

So imagine when he meets his S/O, who may or may not be experienced or know more about sex than him. If you do have experience, cool! You can show and lead him steadily into the unknown. If you don’t, that’s okay! This will be a learning experience for both of you and you’ll both be at roughly the same pace.

Shirou is mainly vanilla for a majority of the time, being interested mainly in love-making at first rather than just ‘fucking’. It takes time for him to move into having sex for other reasons; such as stress-relieving, for fun, to experiment, etc. Be patient.

At first, Shirou’s natural instincts do kick in and he’ll automatically resort to the traditional doggy-style position. But don’t worry, he does start going into other positions as more time passes.

His favorites are missionary, modified doggy-style/leapfrog, cowgirl/cowboy, and the chairman. 

As time goes on, it’s discovered that Shirou is a bottom; please don’t argue with me on this. He’s between a power bottom and pillow prince. A perfect mix of wanting to show his S/O some pleasure and teasing them but also just sitting back and letting his S/O take the lead.

On the rare times that he tops, he has two preferences. Most times, he is still gentle but shows a possessive side and gets a bit rough. So prepare to be more sore than usual. I'll go more into detail in a bit. Very rarely does he get rough.

Shirou isn’t that kinky, I’m saying it now. As much as I love other fandoms, I just can’t see Shirou Ogami as being extremely kinky. He’ll have a few kinks that seem a bit extreme (no, not BDSM)  but that is once he gets really comfortable with his S/O.

But keep in mind, people change and I might write him indulging in certain kinks if you guys want me to. Like, I’m pretty open-minded but for certain things.

There is a safe word and all sexual activity must stop once it’s used. Shirou decided it to be “Beast Peace” as it kind of goes with the situation; you want peace, he wants peace, we all want peace. There is also a safe word for outside use and it’s mainly used when someone is upset, the occasional arguing/fighting has gotten to be too much, or when one of them is in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. It’s “Spring on Jupiter.” 

Random SFW HC: He likes the song “Fly me to the Moon.”

Moving on, he has a praise kink. Tell him how good he’s doing, how handsome he is, how much you love him, how amazing it feels, and more. Hearing his S/O’s beautiful voice praising him in his most vulnerable state makes him feel euphoric and quite relaxed; it makes him feel loved.

He doesn’t really like dirty talk, but it’s mainly the degrading kind. His S/O can dirty talk to him only if they praise him while doing it. Once, his S/O tried the really dirty talk and he couldn’t take it, it actually hurt him a bit and he immediately stopped, using the safe-word.

If his S/O apologizes right away, he’ll forgive them. But if they don’t, he’ll be a bit cold and hurt for a while - he needs some alone time as being emotionally attacked while vulnerable made him feel threatened and attacked. He doesn’t wanna be hurt that way again.

Please, apologize right away if any slip ups do occur or else he’ll be emotionally distant for a bit.

He likes the occasional rough sex, as mentioned before. Maybe after a stressful day working to keep the peace in Beast City or just to let his pent-up emotions out somehow. This is the rare times he’ll top, like I mentioned before. He’ll ask before he does so though and if his S/O agrees, he takes them then and there. He likes doing it quick for a majority of the occasional times as he doesn't really like being rough with you. 

Let’s say you’re in the library.

Shirou pulls his pants and underwear down hastily, doing the same to you as he bends you over the couch’s arm. He quickly plunges himself into you, drilling his hips at an inhuman speed and relishing in the way your walls wrapped so snugly against his pulsing cock. One hand brushes against your hips, digging his nails into your skin while the other trailed over to your nether regions. The beastman quickly began to stimulate your sacred parts, his nimble fingers working wonders and pulling sweet and sinful sounds from your mouth . God, how lucky he is to have such an amazing person as you? Very lucky he was.

His hands leave their respectful places, one of his hands moving to your head and grabbing a fistful of hair, his finger clutching locks at their root. He yanked it back with one quick move and he threw his head back in bliss. 

Low growls rip from his throat, melting into soft whimpers as he picks up the pace, if it’s even possible. The quick , small moans he hears invigorates him and he releases your hair, his hands going back to their previous spots. He leans over, his hands never leaving their place as he bites your shoulder harshly. You yelp, groaning at the sensation of his teeth pricking your skin, sucking hungrily as if you were his last meal, surely leaving a dark welt.  

You shiver as you feel Shirou’s hot tongue run over the area, only to repeat the process on your neck. The hand on your hip left and soon Shirou’s arm wrapped itself around your waist, pulling your bodies closer. “So beautiful,” he whispers, his thrusts beginning to get messy and erratic. “You’re so good to me, [N/N]... Ah! Ngh..” He harshly thrusted into you. Shirou’s fingers, sensational love bites, and numbing thrusts soon became too much and you felt yourself unwind. You squeeze around him and release over his hand, releasing a loud and broken moan.

Shirou whimpered, his eyebrows knitting together and his jaw tightening at the pure ecstasy he was experiencing. With a few final quick and deep thrusts, Shirou releases his seed in you and lets out a low moan. Both of you stayed in that position for a few minutes, panting and indulging in the moment. You peered over your shoulder and smiled at your lover.

“That was… something, huh?”

I feel like some people wonder if he’ll go down on his S/O in his beastman form. The answer is yes. There are occasions where he gets so into it that he transforms subconsciously/involuntarily, but there are also occasions where he does it willingly.

The high chances of him turning into a beastman is when he’s stressed, gets overwhelmed, or if his S/O asks. 

Shirou’s moans are like a beautiful note being played by Apollo’s harp - absolute music to the ears. They’re soft, mellow moans that stimulate something within and they’re beautiful. Sometimes he whimpers, whines, or groans but his moans are the best.

He likes to try and stay quiet but soon the pleasure gets too much and he starts moaning a bit louder, whimpering his S/O’s name and muttering incoherent words of how he feels.

Let me get this out of the way - Shirou has howled in the bedroom before. He has howled many times in fact. But our wolfman can’t help it, I mean, you treat him like absolute royalty as you focus on his pleasure, making sure he’s satisfied no matter what. For example:

He feels himself being pushed over the edge as your velvet walls squeeze around his throbbing member, milking him for all he’s got as you bounce on his cock. Shirou’s hips wildly buck upwards, throwing his head back into the pillow whilst he shuts his eyes at the overwhelming pleasure that was enveloping his whole being.  He squeezes your hips tightly, digging his nails into your delicate skin. The beastman could hear the sweet sound of your voice, purring praises of how good he was and how well he was receiving you.

Small whimpers leave him, strained moans and pants roll off his tongue, and he’s muttering your name like a mantra. The euphoric ecstasy soon gets to be too much, feeling a familiar coil start to tighten and threaten to unwind. Shirou feels your walls tighten even more around him, noticing how you bounce faster on his cock and more erratically. You lean over and bury your face into his chest, your own climax fast approaching. 

Shirou growls, running his hands to your bottom and firmly grasping it, ramming his hips up at a godly speed. “Shirou, so.. Ah! So good!” You moan, everything becoming too much for you. You release a high-pitch moan, spilling your juices over your lover’s skin. 

Shirou soon followed, suddenly spilling his hot seed deep into you and releasing a deep, broken and raw howl; the sound of his howl was surely heard throughout the city.

Hopefully you enjoyed that little excerpt of one of the times Shirou howled in the bedroom.

Now let’s get into the kinks.

He likes mirror sex

He absolutely loves the way your face scrunches up in pleasure, how your eyes roll back as he bucks his hips into you, bouncing as both of you chase your own climaxes.

Seeing how he can make you crumble under his touch, moan and whimper his name, making eye contact as the knot in your stomach snaps.

*mwuah* Beautiful.

He likes having sex in different locations, but rarely.

Occasionally, he likes taking you on the kitchen counter, the couch, or the floor. His top three favorite places, right next to the bedroom of course.

You look like a whole meal in the kitchen? He’ll gently take you then and there on the counter, missionary or doggy-style, your choice.

Both of you happen to get a little handsy in the living room or get bored watching a movie, both of you will get a lil’ freaky. He takes you from behind, lifting your leg a bit as he inserts you slowly.

If you want to cockwarm, he’ll absolutely go along and just lie down with you like that. His member held firmly by your velvet walls.

Listen, the only reason you guys fuck on the floor is because on some instance, both of you will fall off the bed or couch and just continue your business without moving.

He sorta likes semi-public sex. 

You know how wolves have ruts and heats? Yeah, Shirou has that period of his testosterone levels rising and he goes f e r a l. 

He wants to fuck you here, he wants to fuck you there, he wants to fuck you everywhere. This man needs some sort of relief, alright? However, usually his self-control is pretty good and he can hold back from pouncing you in public - most of the time. 

If he can’t take it anymore and you happen to be out with him at the time, he will take you then and there. He drags you to a nearby closet or bathroom and fucks you raw, having your legs wrap around his waist as you bounce on his cock or he drills his length into you as he pushes you against the wall, thrusting and rutting until both of you reach that sweet release.

Luckily, he carries some tissues with him and cleans both of you up. He kisses your forehead and attempts to fix both of you up, trying to get rid of the fresh-sex look before either one of you step back out.

Shirou does not like to be called daddy/sir/master/etc. It makes him feel weird and uncomfortable. If his S/O tries to, he immediately shuts them down with a look, explaining how it makes him feel. He sees no point in it and rather be called by his name or a sweet nickname - he wants to keep this simple. I believe it's because he's had bad experiences with most authority figures so he feels a bit powerless and in some sort of danger.

If you want to call him that, then good luck because Shirou won’t accept it and only wants to be called by his name/nickname(s). If you don’t like it and keep pushing for it, Shirou will eventually suggest his S/O to find someone else if they can’t respect and accept the boundaries he has set.

And if you're thinking just because he's a bottom, he'll like it, you're wrong. Period.

That being said, Shirou won’t really indulge in the daddy/mommy kink, he feels uncomfortable. 

He has a biting kink. Shirou Ogami loves biting his S/O and leaving marks on their skin; it gives him a primal sense of intimacy. He won't do it right away though, he'll reveal it later in the relationship. 

Shiro loves grazing his teeth against your skin, nibbling it before sinking his teeth in, and sucking the soft flesh until he leaves a noticeable red welt behind.

The moans you make as he makes one feels him with pride and love.

Oh but hey! He loves them too! When his S/O gives him his own markings, he can't help but whimper and hold them close, feeling so happy that you, his mate, has decided to grace him with.

Now you may be wondering, "hey, does shirou have a breeding kink since he's a wolf??" 

Oh yeah, definitely. He has a breeding kink and wishes nothing more than to fill you to the brim with his cum if it means there's a chance you'll carry his pups. Even if his S/O can't have children, he still enjoys the thought of filling them up.

However, he is pretty shy about it and usually pulls out. If you two are using protection, he'll unload and just toss the condom in the trash.

Shirou is still gentle, he’ll only turn it up a notch if you beg him to reorganize your guts and milk him for all you got.

Oh, aftercare? Don’t worry! Shirou has already got that covered.  He’s already carrying you to the bathroom, running a nice hot bath for you and rummaging through the fridge for your favorite snacks. He returns and gently helps you bathe yourself. Once both of you are done, he carries you to your shared bed and pulls out your fav snacks, letting you happily eat them as he goes to take a quick shower. He joins you in bed soon afterwards and starts to softly rub all the places he hurt, muttering small apologies and praises.

He turns into his beastman form as he knows you love cuddling into his fluff, especially after sex. 

Remember how I said he likes “Fly Me to The Moon”? You two hum the song after sex, especially after a rough, draining session.

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©𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚊 || 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍 || 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚜, 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚎𝚝𝚌. 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜.

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[jangmi-latte]

May i request headcanons for all dorm leaders reacting to a drunk s/o. Thank you!

❞ 𝐓𝐢𝐩𝐬𝐲? 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤? 𝐎𝐫 𝐒𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝?  ❝

➻ content: four doughnuts!

➻ warnings: slightly nsfw on leona’s part!! mentions of alcohol!

➻ comments: since i haven’t tweaked my rules *wink* just yet, i’ve made coco use the cafe’s wheel to pick four dorm leaders for this request! hope you don’t mind! also, i don’t and haven’t drunk alcohol — ma'am this is a cafe —, therefore i did as much research (also known as making my waiters drunk) as i can when it comes to being drunk. cough also from seeing my relatives and friends go drunk cough.

Ⅰ.

༄ kalim is from a wealthy family so it’s no surprise he’s exposed to alcohol, mostly wine but kalim – being as he is still under age – doesn’t really like drinking.

༄ what he didn’t expect was for someone to sneak alcohol into one of his banquets unnoticed. even jamil didn’t notice due to his hectic schedule.

༄ sam, what have you been selling in your shop–

༄ it was a clear liquid. having nearly the same viscosity as water, you were unaware of how much you were drinking. let’s say you’re unaware of what alcohol tastes like. sure, it tastes weird but oh boy, the heat that spread out through your neck and body was quite addictive. the way it tickles your tongue makes you giggle at times.

༄ this is some odd kind of water huh, just what else does the land of hot sands have?

༄ as it was your first time drinking, it wasn’t a surprise to see you get drunk after three glasses. apparently, it was white wine. is kalim familiar with this kind of alcohol? yes. but he doesn’t know it was being served.

༄  kalim started to notice your sudden change in demeanour when you started to giggle a lot. you would suddenly cling on his arm or nuzzle your nose against his neck. 

༄  kalim's delighted by your affection, oblivious to the fact you're drunk as fuck and will continue to giggle out of nowhere.

༄ if jamil pointed out your sudden change of attitude, kalim would go “oooohhh” and just laugh along with you.

༄ now jamil would question if kalim’s drunk too.

༄ if your laughing would go out of control, ah, our little sunshine would try to stop you and drag you away. you’re light and you’re not struggling so he could easily drag you away from the banquet and into a spare room that’s next to his.

༄ if you woke up with a hangover the next day, kalim is immediately by your side while also asking help from jamil to tend to you. 

༄ you can not get away from his stories and it would make you extremely embarrassed that you suddenly turned into a maniac during one of his parties. did anyone take a video? who knows. 

༄ you now hereby made a mental note not to drink alcohol ever again. just wait till you go to kalim’s hometown where there’s A LOT of alcohol to drink. you can’t avoid it but hey at least you know how you act when you’re drunk.

༄ kalim won’t be talkative about what happened but can you guarantee it won’t slip from his lips every now and then every time a banquet is brought up to a conversation?

Ⅱ.

༄ okay, let’s give more attention to leona’s homeland, yeah?

༄ so there’s a party. it’s not dedicated to anyone, perhaps it’s an event or an occasion for the land. the royal household mostly consists of adults, it’s pretty self-explanatory that there will be alcohol.

༄ leona is used to the taste of alcohol. he isn’t exactly an active drinker but his tolerance is high. it would take him how many glasses before he’s drunk. there are different types of alcohols on the table. ranging from beer to whiskey. heck, there’s even absinthe.

༄ he chose to drink the safest alcohol served and that was a martini. since leona doesn’t want to interact with anyone – his brother is loud and catching most of the attention anyways – he just sat at the sides. he couldn’t really sleep with how loud his home was.

༄ what caught his emerald eyes was you. Oh man, was he surprised. you were easily drinking shots and shots of vodka without any trouble. sure he has seen you drink before but seeing you be this energetic and even rather frisky was….quite a turn on.

༄ though he is quite worried, he would love to see what happens when you get drunk. he thought you would just drop and fall asleep on the table.

༄ hell no.

༄ the moment you spotted him with half-lidded eyes, you sauntered over to him with a shot in had and sat on his lap. was he bothered? not in the slightest but he would glare at some men who would stare at you being all wanton on him.

༄ his first instinct? protect you. sure, you’re tipsy or drunk but that doesn’t mean leona would take this as an advantage and just have sex with you despite your seductive advances. he doesn’t mind you being all sexy on him but you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s his turn to pull the responsible card in the relationship.

༄ your consent is very important to him and drunk isn’t consenting.

༄ another thing, he wants you to just put a show for him ONLY, not in public. he’s possessive but your body is for his eyes only. 

༄, when you pressed your lips against his, leona would kiss you back for a brief second before pulling away once he noticed your sultry touches. you’re whining but this is leona’s chance to carry you to his room. both your drinks left downstairs while he just cuddles you to bed. 

༄ he’ll stop any of your persuasive actions since he could see you’re eyes drooping. he can make love to you some other time. sober you is better. if you won’t stop, ah leona would just passionately kiss you ‘til you eventually passed out.

༄ but that wouldn’t stop any future teasing from him. he’s not gonna lie, it was sexy to see you try and dominate him but again, be sober. 

Ⅲ.

༄ like leona, vil is not an exception to the haven’t-encountered-or-drank-alcohol-ever gang. being a  popular influencer/model/artist means being invited to gatherings or after production dinners.

༄ he had a couple drinks here and there but vil doesn’t like getting drunk or even intoxicating himself too much. he knows what a drunk mind can do and he has an image to hold to even let something as getting drunk slip his mind. 

༄ in short, vil hasn’t experienced getting drunk and avoids doing so.

༄ he’s also picky with what alcohol he consumes. he prefers those that have a small alcohol percentage, those that don’t leave a smell, and those that aren’t strong to taste. he’s strict with his beauty regimen.

༄ so, let’s say you were invited to one of vil’s productions and had an after-production dinner. it wasn’t exactly a formal dinner, just a casual one held by the director in a private restaurant.

༄ there was wine and brandy. our dear model picked wine, of course, and you somehow got curious with the taste of brandy. he wouldn’t stop you, he simply warned you to keep the amount stable and not drink too much. he’ll keep an eye on you just in case you might get carried away. better safe than sorry.

༄ vil took only one glass and was drinking it slowly while you looked like you were going to puke. but it was somehow addicting so you took another shot. he was occupied by conversing with other artists/staff that he would simply look at you from the corner of his eye at all times.

༄ up until he noticed you leaning on your hand propped up by your elbow and just staring at the glass did he finally approach you and immediately asked how many shots did you take.

༄ “four....?” you slurred before pulling him to sit next to you and leaning on his shoulder while hugging his arm. 

༄ you were quiet, thank goodness you weren’t really that drunk, but you’re intoxicated alright.

༄ “vil…?” “yes?” “what is rook doing over there?”

༄ okay, now you’re hallucinating. you were pointing at a staff member who nearly had the same haircut as rook. it was his cue to bring you back to pomefiore. Once he was able to excuse himself, he helped you stand up.

༄ sadly, you couldn’t really walk properly without tripping and all that so let’s be thankful that vil does weights. he isn’t keen to the idea of carrying you back and calling a cab to head back since it isn’t really a sight to see.

༄ so, he called rook and made him open the mirror while he carried you bridal-style back to the dorm.

༄ epel is jealous after he found out you were able to have alcohol.

Ⅳ.

༄ we’re going to add our king of hearts to the haven’t-encountered-or-drank-alcohol-ever gang.

༄ okay, maybe just the never-drank-alcohol-gang.

༄ riddle has a strict regimen on himself too. he considers alcohol as a junk food so it’s a big no to him. it’s also going to be a taboo for his mother. 

༄ along with kalim, he’s still a minor. alcohol is not that really discussed with anything involved in a conversation with him. academics and schools are top priority, alcohol has no space in his brain nor diet.

༄ he’s not dumb with what alcohol looks like though, so when he saw you drinking beer when he visited ramshackle, he was beyond confused and surprised. his antennas shot up too.

༄  he would scold and question on why you’re drinking something that can harm your liver and you just calmed him down by saying you barely even drink these and that you needed relief from school requirements. you also reassured it was only one bottle and you would drink it slowly. you won’t get drunk.

༄ our king of hearts is confused. since when was alcohol a mood reliever?

༄ he would huff and keep an eye on you despite being all cranky. you would just giggle it off and begin doing your homework again while he tutors you. both of you wouldn’t even notice the increasing bottles of beer that’s popping up beside you as you subconsciously drank more.

༄ don’t ask where the beers are coming from.

༄ when you started to huff and get irritated at riddle did he notice your sudden mood change. 

༄ his eyes grew wide when he saw four bottles of beer beside you. poor boy doesn’t know what to do. should he bring you to bed? feed you something? wait, are you even drunk?

༄ you were getting all cranky, you were ‘tsk’ing and growling at certain things. you would rant and pull on your hair when you would get a mistake. it was so unlike you that riddle doesn’t know if he’s getting mad himself or concerned.

༄ he eventually needed to call trey for help. when the vice dorm leader arrived, trey quickly calmed you down and sent you to bed where you quickly passed out. 

༄ poor riddle received a thorough explanation from trey about what happened and that, as your boyfriend, he should be more aware.

༄ riddle just removed all alcohols of any kind from your existence the end.

[robinsnest2111]

The band comforting their bassist in a vulnerable moment? It's more likely than you think!

I expanded on a random vision I had, enjoy these 1k words of the scenario from Murderface's POV :P

Warning for:

Lots of swearing and self deprecating language, because Murderface. Not beta'd, so there may be mistakes.

It had been building up within him for some time now. Every little thing just added onto the pile of all the shit that happened to him. Deep down, subconsciously, he knew that it was only a matter of time before something would set him off again. Would make all the bottled up emotions break free again. But hell, if he could tell before it got to that point. It only ever occurred to him afterwards, making him hate himself even more for exploding. A vicious cycle, really.

Right now, though? He was in the process of losing it. Some remark or other must've done it; didn't really matter. But instead of the usual anger resulting in a quick outburst, he felt flooded with frustration and... sadness? 

He could feel the tears slowly clouding his vision, felt his throat constrict, the pit in his stomach. 

Huh, that was new. It took a bit for the panic to set in. This was new, this had never happened to him before? Crying in front of the others? No, no way! That would make him a weak and pathetic loser! He had to keep it together long enough to come up with an excuse to leave and leg it out of there to repress all of this in peace. Didn't matter if he cried if no one was around to see it!

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice Pickles talking to him at first. He was... asking him a question? 

"Dood. Why are ya so quiet? Something wrong?" Oh shit.

At least one person was catching onto him not acting his usual self. Fuck. This was bad. Quick! Think of something, you dumbass! Say something! Do something! Anything!!!

Apparently, the only thing his body was capable of at the moment was betraying him. By making him look up in Pickles' direction and fucking whimpering instead of talking! Way to go asshole. Fuck!

"...Murderface, what the- are you… crying?" The expression on his bandmate's face turned from confusion to ...concern? That couldn't be, it was just a matter of seconds before he would make fun of him for being such a sensitive crybaby, the others probably gearing up to join in on the usual bullying.

Once again too caught up in his own mind, he didn't notice Pickles reaching for his hands until they were carefully held in the drummer's. A quiet "Hey" made him look up, Pickles' face a little closer than before, the concern and care now unmistakable. 

This was it, the last straw. The tears were flowing, as was the snot, and he let out a pathetic and pained wail. It was all so strange and too much, too much, TOO MUCH!

His hands were maneuvered into one of Pickles' while he reached out to cradle his face with the other. "Dood..."

Between his loud sobs, he noticed the absence of any kind of comment from the others. Usually he would have some choice words for them and promptly leave, the sound of his bandmates joking and laughing about his reaction drifting out of the room after him.

Not this time though. He was still there. Everything was quiet apart from the embarrassing amount of crying and wailing he was doing. Fuck!

Pickles was stroking his cheek now. Weird, but strangely soothing? What kinda magic trick was that?! Then he felt a big warm hand settle on his trembling shoulder. Could it be? No, Nathan would never! A quick glance revealed that it was indeed the singer's hand trying to give a reassuring squeeze, black nail polish and all. What the hell was going on and why the fuck couldn't he stop crying?

Eventually, he felt the hand on his cheek guide his face to rest on the drummer's shoulder. He was probably ruining Pickles' shirt with his leaking eyes and nose. How disgusting. Nathan's hand wandered to his back, going for gentle rubs which helped the ache due to the unrelenting sobs jostling his body, messing up his breathing. In the time it took for Pickles to wrap his arms around his trembling body and him to mirror the drummer, clinging to him for dear life, he felt another hand settle on his head. It's owner seemed hesitant at first, long slender fingers then burying themselves in his hair. Short well-kept nails giving him light pats and scritches. Skwisgaar. Shit, what was happening?

Only one other person missing now. Ah, there he was. Toki. Through the haze, he felt the last of his bandmates press up to his side, putting his head on his shaking shoulder, nuzzling his face into his neck. He could feel the Scandinavian's long hair settling over part of his back, slowly warming up the covered area. Damn, Toki was a furnace! He had never noticed before. And what was that? A low rumble. Was he... was Toki having a go at purring? What a nerd. It seemed to work though. On top of all of them basically forming a brutally awkward cuddle pile around him, it was indeed helping to calm him down. Slowing his racing heart, soothing the ache and evening out his breathing.

After a while, the tears stopped. He had finally calmed down. His head felt empty and full at the same time. Void of any volatile, explosive emotion while feeling like it was stuffed with a million dirty dish towels. Probably from crying so hard. Urgh, what a mental image. Then he realised that he was still surrounded by the others and that they all would have to let go eventually. His bandmates witnessed his embarrassing display of weakness and would never let him live it down! Fuck! He cringed and slowly one after the other gave him some space, removing their hands from his body. 

"Well uhh... that was-" "Now dats dat ams overs-" 

"Guysch, I-" 

Before anyone could finish their sentence, Pickles took hold of one of his hands once again, apparently the only one not quite as embarrassed by the entire situation.

"You okey now?"

He took a moment to think. Was he? He still felt strange for wailing and sobbing like a damn baby. But, he did feel... lighter somehow. Relieved? At least for the time being. He cleared his throat, gingerly wiping the tears from his cheeks and the snot from under his nose, cleaning it all off on his shorts.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think scho."

It actually felt kind of nice to have some tangible proof the others cared about him in some way, despite their official No Caring Rule. He would never admit that to anyone though, he wasn't weak like that.

[bunni-bino]

Hiii! I have returned HAHAH may I request prompt no. 10 from your holiday list for (of course, the one and only) Zoro? Hehe thank you so much 💖

Holiday Prompt #10 With Zoro

A/N : look at this gorgeous, sexy swordsman. I love him. 💚 thank you for requesting again!! :D I was wondering where you’ve been, haha.

note : suggestive themes ahead! bit of NSFW. also a bit cliché.

H.P. #10 : Hot Springs

Summary : exploring a new island, you and Zoro both agree to hit the hot springs first. However..

-

“God, Zoro..”

The soft pants was heard throughout the hot spring’s walls, Zoro’s grunts following after as he pulls your head towards his.

He then connected your lips together and captured them in a lustful and passionate kiss, effectively keeping you quiet.

“Shut up..” He growls out quietly, thrusting upwards into you even harder, the quiet sounds of splashing from the water in the hot springs being heard.

Wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your breasts against him, your hot breath hit his ear and soft whimpers of pleasures slipped from your throat.

Trying your best to keep quiet so the people outside the walls couldn’t hear, it was proving difficult with how hard Zoro was thrusting into you.

How did you even get to this point?

-

“You wanna join us, [Name]?”

Hearing Nami’s offer, you gave a gentle shake of your head. “You and Robin can shop together. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Yeah? What are you going to do then?” Usopp asks, getting his things together to explore the island with Chopper and Luffy.

You glance around and shrug a bit. “I might hit the hot springs first and stay there for a while. It’ll be pretty relaxing and a nice stress relief.”

Sanji and Brook can feel their noses leaking blood as Sanji swoons. “MY DEAR [NAME]-CHAN IN THE HOT SPRINGS?!”

You sweat drop a bit as Sanji seemed to be lost in a fantasy and clear your throat. “Right, so I’ll get going then..”

“Hot springs huh? I’ll join you with that.” Zoro grins a bit, seeming to enjoy the idea of relaxing in the steam.

Snapping out of his dream, Sanji scowls at Zoro. “You damn marimo, you better not try anything that will hurt and damage my [Name]-chan’s innocence, you hear me?!”

Zoro scoffs at the cook, rolling his eyes. “As if I’ll try anything, and not like I could anyways, you stupid cook. Hot springs are always separated!”

Luffy could only laugh at the two bickering as Nami just exhales and shakes her head, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Ignore them. We’ll come and join you in the hot springs if we finish early. And if you happen to be out before then, we’ll be at the mall.”

You return the navigator’s smile and nod, waving to them as they began to take off, Usopp dragging Sanji away with the help of Franky.

You turn to Zoro, who was still holding a scowl towards the blonde chef and you pat his arm. “Come on, just ignore him. Let’s get going.”

Zoro’s scowl slowly fades as he nods at you and began walking, heading in the opposite direction.

You giggle lightly and point in the correct direction and call out to him. “Hot springs’ this way.”

Quickly stopping in his tracks, Zoro clears his throat and began following after you, shutting his eye and avoided eye contact with you, turning his face to hide his flushed cheeks.

You playfully roll your eyes at him and continued to walk towards the hot springs.

-

Once you arrived at the building that led to the hot springs, feel a grin forming. “Time for relaxation!”

Noticing a sign, you walk up to it and read it aloud.

“An outdoor hot springs, wooden walls cover the area and genders are separated.. a door is placed between the wall that separates genders for safety reasons...”

“An outdoor hot springs, huh?” Zoro questions, listening to you read that. “..seems so.” You nod slowly, eyes still skimming the sign.

However, your mind was more focused on the door that led to the other gender’s bathhouse.

Looking away, you notice the two doors that separated genders and smile slightly.

“Looks like I’ll be parting ways with you.”

Zoro nods, a small curl of his lips could be seen as he began heading to the males’ bathroom. “Yeah. See you.”

You hum and made way to the females’ restroom, closing the door and look around. There were lockers and cubbies for personal items, and neatly stacked towels for use.

Stripping yourself of your clothes, you grab one of the larger towels and wrap it around your torso and began heading out, moving the glass door to exit.

Making your way over to the water, you subconsciously glance over towards the wall that divided you from Zoro and wondered how thin the walls were.

You then saw the door and deadpan at it. It wasn’t even by the end or the corner of the wall, it was directly in the center.

The height of the wall was pretty high though, so that was nice for some privacy.

Exhaling softly and trying to relieve any nerves or worries, you just pull off the towel slowly as you began lowering yourself down into the water.

The warmth enveloped your body and a satisfied sigh escaped your lips.

“Ah..”

-

“Ah..”

Zoro leans back against the rock as he made himself comfortable in the water, a relaxed smile spreading across his face as his eyes shut closed.

Feeling content at the steam the water brought, Zoro was at peace and tranquility.

“Nothing can disturb my peace..” he mutters out calmly, feeling all weight and stress lift off his shoulders.

That is, until he heard something.

“Hm, hm, hm~”

Furrowing his brows, Zoro opens his eye and listens intently to the hum just now. “Hm~”

Glancing over in the direction of the hum, he noticed the wall and door before hearing an all too familiar voice singing.

“..is that [Name]?..” he tilts his head a bit, wondering why he was able to hear you but figuring out the wall must be the only thing separating the two of you.

He didn’t say anything and just closed his eye again, relaxing in the bath and just let himself enjoy your melodic voice.

Though, he didn’t expect to hear a scream from you in the middle of the singing.

Snapping up, Zoro quickly stands up, having the thought to grab a towel and wrap around himself before rushing through the door, slamming it open.

He looks into the female’s bathhouse and expected to see some pervert or enemy on the verge of attacking you..

But instead sees your naked form standing across the water, towards the wall and staring at the surface ground.

Where a spider was crawling.

“Z-Zoro!”

Zoro was just in shock, not expecting to see a mere spider to be the cause of your fear and much less to see your naked body, only thing covering you was your arms but even then it barely did much.

Immediately, the heat began rising to his cheeks and it wasn’t from the steam.

“I-I, I heard you scream and I thought it was..” He stuttered at first, flustered and unsure of what to say.

Warm cheeks washed over your own as you glanced down at him and notice he was just in a towel and blushed deeper, as the realization sinked in.

“Ah-!” Widening your eyes, you shriek and jump down into your water, crossing your arms tightly around your body and hugged yourself.

Zoro jumped at your scream again and his blush deepens as he takes a step back before turning away instantly. “S-Sorry! I-l”

He just shut his mouth before he said anything as you tried to hide yourself more, which didn’t help since the water was rather clear.

“I-It’s fine, but just, leave, please!” You utter out, turning away from him but only heard him grunt a bit and the sound of jiggling can be heard.

“Er..”

Slowing turning back to face the green-haired swordsman, you furrow your brows slightly. “What’s wrong?..”

“The door is stuck.”

“Huh? What do you mean the door is stuck?!”

Instinctively, you stood up and began running towards the door where he stood and began roughly handling the doorknob.

Zoro widens his eyes at your body as he sputters and coughs. “O-Oi, aren’t you going to cover up?!” He scowls a bit, ignoring the red blush of his cheeks.

“Damn it, how can it be stuck?” You mutter a scoff and a string of curses, ignoring Zoro’s words as Zoro exhales and rolls his eyes.

“Hey, calm down, it’s fine.” Zoro says, trying to get you to relax as he focused his eyes on your face more than anywhere else.

“I’ll just go out from the door that leads to the baths, so don’t get so worked up.” He sighs, bringing a hand to touch and place itself on your shoulder.

Still focusing on the door, your hand suddenly slipped from the handle and you knocked Zoro’s arm back, just enough to cause him to start falling backwards.

Shocked, you rushed to grab his arm to help him up, but Zoro’s strength only caused you to fall down with him, with you on top.

“Ouch..”

Zoro grunts at the newfound weight on his body, slowly lifting his head and opening his eye to see if you’re alright, just to get a face full of your bare breasts.

“Hnngh-!”

“Aish.. Zoro, are you alright?” Pressing your hands onto his chest, you lifted your upper body up a bit, groaning out slightly at the pain in your side and ankle.

Hearing no reply from him, you sat up and widen your eyes to see his red face and him doing his best to look anywhere but you.

“Zoro, are you okay?! Are you hurt?” You question franticallg, unnoticed of the situation that was occurring.

Straddling his hips, you try to pull his hands away from his face. “Oi, why aren’t you answering me?! Are you okay?!”

“..Damn it, j-just get off of me already! I’m fine!” Zoro shifted uncomfortably beneath you, and with his shifting, was it only then did you realize what was happening.

You were straddling Zoro.

And what you felt beneath you, wasn’t just his thighs. It was something a little bigger, and right under you bottom. You were sitting on the hot seat.

A bulge was forming below you, making you shift side to side a bit to get comfortable but Zoro was quick to stop you with his hands, placed at the sides of your arms.

“Stop that, before it gets worse.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as you tried to get up, only to wince and fall back down, much fo his dismay.

“S-Sorry, I’m just a little sprained..” you mumble, trying to slide off but with the movements you made and the thin towel that kept your skin from touching each other,

You were causing some friction to rub against him, and Zoro was not comfortable.

“O-Oi, stop moving for a second.”

It didn’t take a genius to tell that you were basically grinding against his crotch but it wasn’t your fault. You were hurt and stuck on top of him.

“I’m sorry but-“

Biting your lip, you stayed still for him as Zoro took a moment to relax and just breathe and think this over.

It was going to be awkward as hell, considering that you two were crewmates and just happened to end up in such a situation like this. If the others found out.. Zoro didn’t even want to imagine it.

Zoro’s hands made their way to your waist as he grins it tightly and he pondered what to do.

He couldn’t lift you up directly because you could end up hurting yourself further if he wasn’t careful, and he could also slip off his own towel but if you closed your eyes, maybe it would be okay.

“Hey, would you-“

“Zoro..”

Interrupting him, you chewed on your lower lip as you leaned down to face the swordsman, breasts pressed against his chest and your ass positioned directly over his covered, semi-hardened member.

“Do.. do you mind if we..” you trailed off a bit, a bit too embarrassed to ask him yourself.

You had small feelings for the man, and with all that shifting from him and you, you couldn’t deny that your lower heat was starting to get wet, and it wasn’t from the water either.

“Just for today, if you don’t mind. Please? I need you, right now.” You whispered out, slowly moving your hips so you can form some sort of friction against him, eliciting a low groan from him as Zoro narrows his eyes.

He was quiet for a moment, staring directly at you for any sign of hesitation or lie. Deeming that you were genuine and serious, he clicks his tongue.

“Fuck it..”

And with that, he moves his hand up to cup your cheeks and pulls your face down so he can press your lips together with his into a kiss.

-

Which soon led to you and Zoro fucking right in the hot springs, going several rounds all over the place.

It wasn’t until you heard the crew’s voices outside the walls, that you two eventually stopped.

“..do you think they heard us?” You breathed out heavily, glancing at the walls before at Zoro.

Zoro was mid-thrust, still thrusting in and out of you, though it was slower but still just as deep and rough.

Zoro licked his lips lustfully, eyeing the walls carefully before leaning down to capture your lips in his once more.

“Who cares? Right now, all my attention is on you.”

a/n: hiii, I hope you guys liked this!! Thanks so much for requesting againnnn! 💚 I love Zoroooo.

Does it seemed rushed? I’m too worried about my writings being rushed now.

[prettyyyboyluke]

Umm I was wondering if you could maybe do an imagine where cal is like her brothers bad boy friend and the reader is innocent ... or that's what everyone thinks...umm idk if you're taking requests but if you could do this I would really appreciate it🥺

~

y/n’s brother’s a sophomore in college, and once he graduated high school, he had moved out and gotten his own apartment. one with two bedrooms so she could have a place to stay when going to visit him. granted, he was only two hours away, but it was still nice since she didn’t have her parents helicoptering her. y/n was lucky to have a brother like tyler, the two were very close and were open about lots of things. so of course, he didn’t mind her and a few of her friends joining him and his friends for movie nights or small kickbacks.

that’s exactly what tonight was, a kickback. y/n was more than excited because tyler invites his best friend over each time, and he’s the hottest guy y/n’s ever seen, at least that’s what she thinks. curly black hair with blonde streaks, tall and muscular, tattoos dispersed all over his body, she practically drools every time she sees him. she thinks there are no flaws for him, except he’s that “i don’t date,” type of guy, which leaves lots of girls heartbroken.

y/n always arrives early to help tyler set up since he’s very unorganized and needs help setting out snacks for their friends. of course, y/n is on aux because she swears by her spotify being better than her brothers, but no one has ever complained about the music.

“god tyler, how did you ever survive your semesters without me here.” she laughs.

“oh, shut up. i’m perfectly fine, just not as organized as you.” he jabs back.

their friends pile into the apartment, chatting amongst themselves about their last week of school. y/n’s about to pour herself a drink when calum walks through the front door. she stares longingly, her eyes following up his body and his movements as he says hello to everyone there. her friend nova gives her a hard jab in her side, emphasizing the fact that she is practically drooling over the new quarter zip-up sweatshirt she just purchased. she straightens up, pushing out her chest. calum looks her way, smiling at her and making his way over.

“didn’t know tyler suddenly had a bad girl of a sister.” he smiles at her smugly, and if y/n didn’t know any better, she’d say he was speaking in a malicious tone, but she knows him better than that.

she rolls her eyes at him, “shut up!” she swats at his bicep. “tyler told you about my car, huh?”

“yeah,” he laughs, “said that your whole bumper came off. i’m surprised they let you out of the house tonight, you know since you’re a little girl.”

y/n’s cheeks start to heat up, her body temperature rising as their conversation continues. “i am not a little girl, calum. just because you’re a few years older than me doesn’t mean anything!” she crosses her arms, looking playfully furious and calum wants to run his thumb across the pout on her lips.

“sure, pretty girl.” he takes her drink and takes a sip. he hums at the liquor that hits his taste buds, “i’ll be taking this,” he says, shaking her drink in front of her eyes.

when he’s a few feet away, her friends chime in. “god, he’s so hot.”

“you just know he’s packing.”

“hey!” y/n screeches softly, “he’s mine! find your own college boy to drool over.”

she makes her self another drink, thanks to calum, and joins everyone by the couch. she walks around to the end of the couch where calum is sat at, ready to sit on the love seat next to nova, but calum catches her wrist and pulls her into his lap. her cheeks heat up, again, relieved when tyler is preoccupied with the game they’re about to play.

“what’re you doing?” she hisses into his ear. “my brother’s right there.”

“and? amaya is practically sitting on top of him.” he points to the two in the small chair. she shivers and shakes her head. “see? so it’s perfectly fine if we sit together.” he moves over a bit, giving her room to sit next to him but still somewhat on his thigh, and she looks at him while she positions herself. “everything alright here, pretty girl?”

“yup! yup, everything’s fine.” she looks at the way their legs are tangled together. she cracks her knuckles, trying to calm some of her nerves. calum slings an arm around her side of the couch, making her lean subconsciously into him. she knows what he’s doing... and she loves it.

~

they’re about two and a half rounds into picolo, their favorite drinking game. and everyone has a very nice buzz going on. they’re on the caliente version now, so this round should be spicy.

“alright, alright!” tyler laughs, “if calum and y/n kiss, each of you can give out 2 sips. if not, you each have to drink 2 times.” tyler finishes.

her eyes widen. she had no idea what tyler was thinking at this point, the alcohol in his system streaming through everything. nova gives her that look of well! get on with it! she turns to calum, “we don’t have to, we can just drink.” she says, reaching for her cup, but calum stops her.

calum doesn’t say anything but puts his hand on y/n’s cheek, bringing her closer in. her chest is heaving, eyes flickering between his lips and his eyes. he finally closes the gap between the two, lips connecting and light smacking happening.

“it’s about damn time!” luke exclaims. the rest of the group also cheers and laughs. the kiss definitely lasts longer than it’s supposed to, but neither her nor calum mind. calum pulls away but returns for one more peck.

y/n takes her bottom lip between her teeth, racking her brain at the fact that that just happened. calum then gives her temple a kiss and returns his attention back to the game. the game continues giving everyone dares like y/n’s and calum’s, some a little riskier than others, but no one seemed to mind.

“alright alright, how about we change the game to ‘never have i ever’?” ashton suggests. the group agrees. y/n gets up to go grab a bottle of hard liquor and the small shot glasses she bought. she thinks they’re cute, they’re not the red ones like the solo cups, they’re the neon-colored ones. calum follows her to the kitchen.

he wraps one hand around one side of her waist, pulling her close to his front side. she jumps the slightest bit when his hand goes under her sweatshirt and rests for a moment before giving it a squeeze. “how was that kiss?” he whispered in her ear.

she swallowed before answering, “i-i liked it.” she said, her voice very small.

calum turns her around, “i knew you would. you think i don’t notice how you look at me?” lord, y/n thinks she’s about to fucking pass out when he traces the outline of her running shorts.

they walk back, calum’s hand low on her back. as always, she sets everything up, being a little soberer than everyone else. this time, calum sets her right on top of his thigh. she lets a small gasp leave her lips when he moves his lap up for a second. calum sits up, wrapping an arm around her stomach, making her move yet again. the material of her shorts is very thin and with calum knowingly moving his thigh against her core, he could feel what he’s doing to her.

“okay, never have i ever been so crossed i threw up in the basement of the Alpha Phi house,” michael says, clearly taking a hit at someone. y/n sees calum reach for one of the neon cups and takes a shot.

“that was dirty, i’ll get you back.” calum snarls. y/n turns around to calum, raising her brow. “it was freshman year, and those girls have still never let me back in.”

“i’ll go!” nova shouts, “never have i ever had a crush on my brother’s best friend,” she says, looking right at y/n. y/n doesn’t want to reach for a shot and take it, but she also knows that if she doesn’t nova will call her bluff. despite fighting her conscience, she sucks it up and takes a shot. she gives nova daggers while she racks her brain to think of something to get her back.

~

the kickback ended around an hour ago, most of y/n and tyler’s friends had left, and calum had asked tyler if he could sleep on the couch. y/n was still awake, cleaning up everything so her brother wouldn’t have to deal with such a mess in the morning. calum’s been helping y/n clean up, mostly just so he can flirt with her more.

“you know, i never really got a proper kiss from you tonight.” calum says, taking a pile of trash into the bag. y/n stands up, looking at calum.

“what do you mean? we kissed during picolo, how was that not a proper kiss?” she asks, clearly not getting what he’s hinting at.

calum takes her wrist, bringing her over to the kitchen, and sets her on top of the counter. “a proper kiss doesn’t involve all of our friends staring at us and cheering. it’s more like this,” he stops his sentence and goes in for the kiss he’s been talking about.

y/n’s caught off guard for a moment before she relaxes into calum. their lips move rhythmically against each other, their tongues going to explore the mouth of the other. calum places a hand on her thigh while the other is holding her cheek. both of y/n’s arms are around calum’s shoulders, moving closer and making his hand move up higher on her thigh.

they both pull away for a second, calum looks down at where his hand is and looks back up at y/n. she nods her head and brings his lips back down to hers. calum’s fingers make their way into her shorts, just petting over her clit while y/n rotates her hips against his fingers.

“i think we should move to your room, just in case someone decides to come out.” calum whispers.

and y/n can’t wait to see where this takes her.

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia Ch 19

Your bags were jumping and sliding around in the back of Madeline's rusty pickup truck. She had been kind enough to offer you a ride up to the lodge when she stopped by the shop earlier.

Madeline had seen the sour look Nate kept sending you and how you were intentionally not looking over towards the soon to be graying young man. Not one to beat around the bush she asked what was up, mam bear mode peeking through.

Nate was just being a dick to you and saying you had to stay with the Cowells longer than what had originally been agreed to. Big Jo seemed fine about letting you go back home now, even with your resolve set to continue hanging out with Toby. But Nate was trying to put a tight leash on you since you “wouldn't listen to reason” - so he said.

Even with security at the cottage updated Nate still thought it best to keep you with them if you were planning to still interact with Toby. More than likely he was trying to make that harder for you to do since staying with them would definitely make it easier for him to keep track of you.

The thought alone set shivers down your spine. Like a constrictor slithering up your back to rest around your neck and do what it does best.

It had been really hard to breathe these last few days.

But all Madeline needed to hear was “Nate” and “being a dick” before she said she'd take you herself. Thereby ending the conversation and silent argument in the shop, as she spun on her heel stating when she'd pick you up later.

Nate hadn't been too happy about the exchange but he could suck your dick. He's been annoying you with all this Toby bullshit and doesn't get to tell you what he thinks right now.

The drive up is silent, but that comfortable kind of silence between two old friends who don't ever really have a need to talk to hang out. It's nice because it gives you tons of time to think about just what you're about to do.

Going over several scripts all at once in your head.

You want to talk to Toby. You still haven't read that file but it just doesn't sit right with you that it was ever even given to you in the first place. Toby being completely unaware of the total breech of privacy makes your stomach flip just like your bags in the back right now. It's not like you ever asked for the detailed life file but at the same time it feels wrong not to let Toby know tht something like that even exists for him. His past being dug back up all without his knowledge or consent. And now here you were about to lay it right down in front of him.

Was this the right move? You're the one bringing it to his attention, if it's something that will mess him up it'll be your fault that he's upset. Jo and Nate may have gotten the information but you still count yourself as being a complacent party to all of this.

Your stomach feels like it's on a drop tower as it sinks further into a pit of guilt.

You feel like the scum of the Earth right now. Hopefully he isn't too upset.

Seeing your downcast eyes, you were a lot more expressive than you ever really realized, Madeline pipes up, “You gon' be ok there sport?”

A small smile bit at your lips. There's a reason Madeline Cobb was known in Kepler as Mama. She took care of those she saw as her own and that was damn near half the town at this point. Hell you'd heard a rumor she raised most this town. The lodge had been her orphanage  before all the kids grew up and turned it into a resort once new arrivals stopped coming. That's probably the reason it's always been so warm and welcoming, it was a home first.

“Yea...just nervous.”

She lets out a small chuckle at you.

“Don' be, 'm sure that Toby boy will say 'yes'. And if he don' well you just come find me. I'll set him right.”

Ok now you were just confused.

“Huh?”

“Don' worry about it, he likes you jus' like you like 'im. It'll work out for you two.” she reaches over and ruffles your hair before jumping out of the pickup. You hadn't realized you were already at your destination.

And it was too late to correct Mama, she'd already made it inside the lodge, about why you were so nervous. The warmth in your face makes you even more grateful for your mask. Barclay was getting bit by the end of the night, the man really needed to get a boyfriend and stop trying to manifest one for you.

The door to the lodge opens again, you hardly paid it any mind. So lost in your own musing you didn't even notice the man walking towards you. Your goat plush had fallen beneath your seat and you were attempting to grab it but it was too far out of your reach.

“You good there?” Toby's amused voice calls, startling you.

Popping your head out of the opened car door. Heart racing faster at the sight of your friend standing there with a small smirk on his bandaged face. You weren't ready for this.

His eye looks better, well like a normal black eye and not a swollen lump that threatened to over take his socket. Now his eye looked like it could still function out of the slight opening. Fuck this was hard enough when you'd pictured only one eye looking at you but now you had to calculate for both!?

Is it weird that this is what worries you? Are you derailing from the actual situation? Distracting yourself so the conversation is easier on you. So you don't have to think about the possibility that Toby won't want to be friends after this. That he'll end up hating you for something you hadn't done.

God you really want to cry.

“Hey, space cadet.” Toby's made his way over to your side and puts a gentle hand on you knee, “You ok? Did something happen?”

He's really sweet, you're going to miss him.

No, stop. You need to get a grip and stop thinking like this. Toby will understand and you guys can continue being friends, a bit awkwardly but still friends. You'd get to hang out and maybe wander through the Monongahela together.

“I...I dropped my goat.”

He cocks his head to the side, brows slowly smoothing out and he gives a gentle squeeze to your legs as he reaches under you, hand searching for your lost plush.

The warmth that was once collecting in your cheeks shoots down past the void sitting in your stomach. Just another thing to add to your list you suppose. After a week of nearly no privacy or comfort you are thoroughly pent up. You don't necessarily want Toby, just need someone or something to help relieve the fire between your thighs. He just happens to be in proxcimity of that fire, poking the flame that hasn't been snuffed during your stay with the Cowells, making it dance and writhe reminding you of the need.

But you can't focus on that yet, you'd give yourself a hand when you finally got back home. Right now you needed to focus on Toby. And having that uncomfortable conversation.

“Here he is.” placing the goat in your lap he looks into your eyes, a slight glint in his.

He's in a really good mood tonight. You have to ignor the whispers in your head, telling you you're about to ruin this for him.

Luckily a tic to the right shoos those thoughts away for you.

“YN?” his hand is back on your knee, it's such a small gesture maybe even completely subconscious but it helps ground you.

You haven't read that file but you can't see Toby ever doing something awful enough to warrant Nate's barrage of paranoia and fear. Even if he did....he couldn't still be bad right? You're such a good judge of character and you called Brian on his masking there's no way you'd miss Toby lying to your face.

“I...” he's looking into your eyes searching as you take a steadying breath, “I just really need a slushie right now.” your eyes drop to the goat in your hands.

You fucking coward.

It's silent for a moment as you chastise yourself for not just coming out and telling Toby you wanted to talk. Toby's hand falls easily from your knee and to his side.

“A'right then, you good to drive?” you really missed your chance here, “'cuz Brian's got Connor tonight.”

Wait what?

You look at Toby who simply raises the right side of his mouth in a lopsided grin. A subtle raise of his right brow tells you he understood what you'd asked for. When was the last time anyone was ever able to read you so well?

“Yes!” you push the goat into Toby's chest and practically dive into the back seat for your bags. “I can drive. Franklin?”

“Don't work tomorrow, so sure.”

His good mood seems to pick back up a bit. He's chuckling as you rush to gather everything and head over to your car, barely shutting Mama's door as you do. Toby gives it a good bump with his hip to make sure it shut properly. He unlocks your car for you and slides into the passenger's seat while you arrange your shit in the trunk.

You catch sight of the skull still in your trunk and figure you'll just leave it as is for now. Since it seems that literally every time you close this trunk you forget it exists. Bye weirdly placed deer skull maybe one day you'll have a wall mount worthy of your beauty.

Before closing the trunk you do rab the file. Maybe having it up front with you will help you actually tell Toby about it.

When you open the driver's side Toby's hand is already outstretched and waiting for your phone, this isn't his first rodeo after all. You can't help but smile as you hand it right over to him. He notices, because of course he does, and beams back at you. Sending more warmth throughout your body. After collecting your emotions the guilt comes back around.

You need to stop being horny on main. And in front of Toby no less. It's weird, like you're riled up for him and not because you're attention starved and haven't known solitude for over a week.

By the time you're driving off the lot Toby had picked you 'Let's drive to nowhere' playlist. A perfect choice for tonight, seeing as these are all either songs to dissociate to or have mental break downs with. And with you obnoxious emotions either is up for grabs. Aside from the music the car was silent as you drove out of town.

You were so wrapped up in what to say to Toby, how to say it, when – that you ended up not saying anything at all. Toby on the other hand couldn't wait for you any longer and broke the silence himself.

A habit he seems to have, must not like silences.

“Normally you don't shut up,” the words were harsh but his tone wasn't for once.

He watches as the scenery changes from quaint country road to interstate. “Did something happen?”

An awkward anxious smile makes its way on to your face. You've never been good at schooling your features and smiling was unfortunately your default in the even of confrontation. It was probably just your brain's way of protecting you from emotional trauma.

“Sorta.”

To his credit Toby waits for three full songs before prying for more information.

“Another attack?” he's on edge.

To be fair you are too.

“No, like hell Jo and Nate wo-would let me leave if that were it.” your head jerks twice to the right. You miss Toby's wince.

Nate barely let you leave the shop today, you had to get outside assistance aka Mama.

“Ok, so what happened then?” as you bit your lip trying to find your words Toby is running through his own list of possibilities. “Dis Ma- Tim do something to you?”

Huh?

Why would Tim have anything to do with this? Are they still fighting? But Brian has Connor tonight...that doesn't seem likely but you've really only hung out with Toby thus far. You don't know enough about their group dynamic.

You also didn't miss the beginning syllable Toby said. Was he trying to say 'Matt', 'Mark', 'Manny'? There were so many names that Tim's alter could have but at the least you've more or less been told there is an alter to begin with.

But why would Toby be concerned about Tim's alter? Was he the one that punched Toby? Were they actually the two fighting and not Tim and Toby? This is confusing just being on the outside, you have no idea how the trio copes with this situation.

“Oh no, Tim and Not Tim have been nice to me.” if you're coming clean about the file might as well come clean about knowing Tim has an alter. This way Toby could pass along the message to Tim and Not Tim.

“Back up, not liter-mrrow – literally. 'Not Tim'? You've met Mas-Ma-Masky?!”

Masky? That's a strange name, but who were you to judge the name someone gave themself. Maybe he's a He/Him enby.

“Not like formally or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was the one that helped me and Ronnie out the other week.” you switch lanes to drive off of the interstate, hoping to find a secluded road to have this conversation on.

God knows it's going to take all of your concentration.

Toby was seething in his seat and you know the tension is only going to get worse going forward.

You can hear him muttering to himself, 'of course' or 'he didn't remember', over and over. Finding a good place to park the car you take it and turn to Toby, who's still lost in his own head.

“Tobias.” you call trying to jostle him and it works a little too well in a sense. As he blurts out, “Don't! Masky's dangerous stay away from him!”

He immediately freeze like he hadn't meant to say that. And while it wasn't a tic it was probably an impulse brought on by his anxious frame of mind. He's popping his knuckles again too.

You don't know why you said it, looking at Toby's wide blown pupils – riddled with fear and nerves, you should've kept you mouth shut.

“Dangerous like you?”

Or at least phrased that a bit more eloquently.

Toby's eyes grow dark and his good eye cuts low nearly matching it's swollen twin. A shiver runs down your spine even though you know the malice is not for you.

“What.” he hisses out.

It's not a question, it's an order. He wants to know what you know and maybe even who told you. Maybe he thinks Masky told you something, since that was the topic of the previous conversation.

Dark eyes watch you like a hawk as you pull the file from the map holder in your door. His chest is nearly heaving with every breath at this point, can he hyperventilate? That's a dumb question he most certainly can. And he's either on his way to that or a panic attack. You hope you don't send him into a panic attack, Connor's not here to help. Connor know pressure though, Toby's had him preform it on you during your spells. Would it work the same if you laid on top of Toby? You're getting too distracted right now.

Not trusting yourself to not just back down now, you hold the folder out to Toby to take.

He's just staring at it like it'll attack him at any moment, and honestly it might...just not physically. He glances up at you. There's a funny flash of deja vu likening back to the first time you met. Cold indifferent and confused eyes looking at you as though you were some strange alien they'd never seen before. This time however there's a spark of something else in them. Something dark that festers beneath the surface. Was that hatred, betrayal, or was that the wall he was building back up. The wall that would sever this friendship.

Stop projecting. He hasn't even taken the file, he can't possibly know what's going on right now.

“What's that?” see.

“Nate got super protective after the attack, I guess the other day you just like rubbed him the wrong way. So, he had someone look into you. That file is everything they found...pretty sure it's your whole life, I swear I haven't read anything. Not even a peek. But Jo and Nate tried to tell me the-”

He snatched the file from you before you'd even said you hadn't looked. He opened it and a second later it was closed and he took a shaky breath before looking at you.

It was your turn to look like a deer in headlights tonight, you knew that breath was one of barely concealed rage. This was it, this was where everything ended, all because Nate had “a bad feeling” about Toby.

But you trusted Toby, he wouldn't hurt you. He was your friend.

“So” he lets out a harsh sigh, “you didn't...you haven't read anything?”

You hastily shake your head, “What did they tell you.” he looks off to the side and his mouth is all screwed up, and not in it's normal mangled sense.

“That I shouldn't see you anymore, you did something bad, awful, terrifying; Nate's list goes on but I sort of...fo the fingers in the ear 'lalala' thing” you say sheepishly, “anytime he tries to tell me something. Jo stops when I ask him to. He's not too worried about you...I think.”

Or he's working behind the scene to keep you and Toby separated for the long run but that's speculation and not the point of this conversation so you don't mention it.

Toby's flipping through the file skimming it, no doubt looking for his checkered past, he finds what he's looking for and nods once continuing on like he was reading a grocery list. Which he may as well have been, a grocery list of all his transgressions. With the way his fingers gripped the edges of the folder you could tell he was putting on a front about the contents.

They did bother him.

“Why didn't you look, why didn't you listen YN?” was he seriously angry at you for that?

“It was an invasion of your privacy. Whatever's in there I wanted you to have the ability to tell me on your own terms – if you ever even wanted to. Not because you were forced into it because I found out from some third party that doesn't even know you.”

“Then why the fuck did you -wrong- practically jump into a car with me and then hand me a file on my shitty life!?!” He slammed the file down into his lap with a lot of force, more than he should have used for sure. “They think I'm a menace and they're right you shouldn't have...you need to...” he trails off looking like he's trying to disintegrate the file in front of him with latent laser eye abilities.

His arms are shaking.

No – he's trembling. The way he's biting his lip tips you off. He's trying to hold himself together, trying to stop himself from breaking. This can't be the same person Nate's so worried about.

“You're biting your lip, that's not good for you.”

“Fuck off.” it's half hearted at best, no real weight behind the words. And he does let his abused lip go.

“It's a breech of trust if I didn't tell you this...I wanted to give you the file because you should know it's been read by two people, to my knowledge.” you place a hand on his forearm, “Toby, I don't know what you've done in the past but...you know you aren't that person now, right?”

He's out of the car in an instant, slamming the door behind him. You follow, as dumb as you understand it is, getting out of your car in the middle of no where with a very unstable person.

“Get back in the car. I mrrow I can't...I need a minute.” his shaking is so much worse now that he's standing, It's even put a tremble in his voice.

“You're stupid if you think I'm leaving you alone in the middle of no where.” you stand your ground, he may need space but this is not the place to have it. You're only a few miles from town, you can get him back to the lodge where he doesn't have to see or be near you.

Hell you won't say a word on the way back.

“Like you're not stupid for ignoring the warnings that I'm dangerous! I've killed people! Did you know that?! Did you even think that's what was so bad!?” he's giving you the same glare he had on when he talked about the fight with Tim.

“I could literally kill you right now, you've driven us out to who knows where but still remained in walking distance back to town. You live on the outskirts of it and it'd be so easy for me to make you disappear and everyone would believe your stalkers got to you.” his chest heaves at a vicious rate.

Despite the venom and truth of his words, you can't find it in you to be scared of him. If anything his rant proves Toby must not have been mentally well during his crimes, he's acting like a cornered alley cat not a serial killer. There's a vice grip on you heart at the thought.

“Ok...are you?”

It's like a switch has been flipped in him and he calms instantly.

“What?” he knows what you're asking.

“Are you going to kill me?” you asked like you'd been asking what time it was.

He stares at you looking you up and down, “No...I wouldn't.” his neck jerks triggering your own tic.

“Then I'm safe.” you slowly approach him, much like you would a feral alley cat. “I trust you Tobias.” you reach out to tough his arm again.

It hadn't worked in the car but Toby does seem to calm down faster when he's being touched. Like the sensation brings him back to reality and locks him there.

“Y-you shouldn'n'n't.”

He doesn't pull away this time as you place your hands gently on his forearms. His eyes raise to meet yours.

“...I've killed.”

He sounds so helpless.

The only thing you find shocking about this is that he actually did it. You know people are capable of all sorts of vile things. But the way Toby's voice breaks, the tremors that run through his body. You can't see any similarity with the horror show you once imagined, a Toby covered head to toe in blood and a vicious grin.

The fact that Toby killed doesn't really phase you much more than the ever present 'how' that rings out. He must have had a reason. Jo wasn't too worried so maybe it was circumstantial. Not to mention Toby's among the general public. Could it have just been an accident? A misunderstanding?

“I don't – no I'm not going to say 'I don't care', because this is something that really effects you but I...I guess what I'm trying to get at is..it doesn't bother me. I know it should but, Tobias I just can't picture you as a murderer.” that blood stained Toby flashes before you singing 'liar', “I got to know you before finding out any of this. So, I know there must've been a reason behind it. And that's...and you don't have to tell me anything.”

Nothing more is said, after all you've said everything you could think of to deescalate the situation. And Toby is frozen as he stares at you. You'd have thought he was dissociating had it not been for the way his eyes still held that tiny reflection of light. He was still present, just unsure how to proceed.

Honestly you were stumped too, you had no idea how to begin this conversation let alone end it.

“My – there was...” you rub his arm in a small circular motion. You don't need to hear anything more, it already feels like too much information that he'd lost the agency for.

But your gentle shushing did nothing because he continued, “Clairse says I had a psychotic break and...just went after the biggest stressor at the time.” he pauses with a deep breath and closes his eyes in the process. “She says it wasn't really my fault, I was under...a lot of – I wasn't there, where I should've been mentally. My dad was abusive...anyone in my situation would've broken at some point.”

His words are hollow and robotic. A mantra he's learned to say although he doesn't believe it.

You'd normally give someone the choice but this time you just slip you arms over his shoulders and pull him into a hug. There's no resistance from him either, if anything he leans into the embrace and grips onto your back. His trembling doesn't stop but it's softened by the pressure.

“You don't have to tell me anything Tobes. I don't want you to...not if it's this painful.”

“I want – want to tell you about Lyra.” his voice cracks in tandem with his neck as he says her name.

And he does tell you, against all your protests to take his time. He tells you everything laid out his whole life right in front of you. From being home schooled early on – isolated within his own home for years, to his older sister and her untimely accident that he's still clearly wracked with guilt about, and then the spiral that ended in patricide and a fire that ate his entire neighborhood.

By the end of his recounting he'd stopped trembling and letting out the occasional sniffle – and now the two of you were leaning on the hood of your car. Looking at the stars that just started coming out for the night, you occasionally whispered affirmations to Toby as he tells more stories from his childhood. The good ones this time.

His spirits aren't as high as they were when you'd started your evening but they're much better than they were two hours ago.

You chuckle as he finishes telling you about the time he and Lyra managed to sneak out of the house for a concert only to realize they had no way of getting back into the house when they returned. Their mom just opened the door letting them inside with a small crease in her brow but the smile that played at her lips told them everything they'd needed to know. They weren't in trouble, she'd sent them off to bed and in the morning asked how the show was. From the way Toby talked about his mom you can tell he really loves her. The feeling must've been mutual, if she sent them off to bed instead of dishing out a punishment all because Toby had smiled for the first time in weeks that night.

“Ah, favorite child Toby strikes again.” you joke.

This time Toby didn't say anything, you had been throwing small jokes in to help keep the mood light, but he just looked at you with his head tilted. A grim expression barely crossed his features before being replaced with a lopsided smile and warm but sad eyes.

“Y'kn – Kyra used to say that all the time.”

“Must be true then.”

He looks at his hands with the softest expression you've ever seen. It's an expression normally given to Connor, just sadder this time.

You nudge him getting his attention back to the present.

“You still want that slushie?”

He takes a moment to look around you and finally rests his gaze on the stars. “Not Franlin, not tonight.” he says focusing back on to you.

“Think we're two exits from Riverton if that helps. They have Wawas.”

“Wawas?” he chuckles.

You nod, “Yea they have smoothies and milkshakes.”

“Ooh la la.”

You both snort and head back into the car. It's surreal to be buckling back in, joking around with Toby when just hours prior you thought you'd be ending your friendship the moment you opened your mouth.

You can't help but ask, “Are we cool?”

“Yea...we're good. 's not like you fucking asked for the information.” he leans his head against the window and crosses his arms into himself.

“I'm still sorry about it though.”

“Know you are. But it's over now.” the finality of that statement takes the weight off of your shoulders. For the first time in days you can breathe again.

“Thanks for telling me everything...you didn't have to. But I appreciate you sharing it with me.”

His nails dig into his arms, or they would have if they weren't chopped down to the bit.

“I mrrow I-I didn't tell you everything...”

Nope this was over and done with, no more sad and scared Toby. You couldn't handle anymore, guilt had found a friend in discomfrot and the two had set out to eat you alive with every tremor that tore through Toby's body.

“What are you like a child murderer or something?” Giving a laugh to soften the joke.

….

You missed the way Toby tenses and sucks in a breath. His heart is beating wildly in his chest, so hard he's certain you hear it. Is that where you draw the line? Child murder. Of course you had to have some boundaries he couldn't just expect you to be cool with everything he's done. You were sure to figure it out sooner or later no thanks to your boss. But Toby couldn't loose you now. Not when you've been an anchor he hasn't had in such a long time. He feels almost human again when he's with you.

He's been quiet too long, at least he thinks he has. He needs to say something, joke around back and dismiss the notion. You can't know not now – maybe not ever.

“I'm trans!” he hadn't meant to blurt that out.

He stared at you with wide eyes. Why had he said that, that hadn't even crossed his mind. Just as he was about to laugh it off you reached over and lightly punched him in the arm. That small gesture sent a tickle down Toby's spine. It was such an innocent touch, but he was touched starved and knew it.

“I am too goof. Thanks for telling me but why the wait?”

Fuck now he had to think of something. Talking to you always made him so brain dead.

“Mrrow...mrr-you saw me as a man first...I wanted to keep it that way.” maybe he didn't have to make something up, just tell you the half truth.

Brian had questioned him when they got ready for the picnic why he hadn't worn his trans tie dye shirt and he's said he misplaced it. A bold lie to tell someone like Brian, especially since it'd been a gift from his mom. She had sent it in a care package last June. He'd never loose something his mom gave him, at least not so quickly. If he'd been being honest with himself at the time, he was worried about your reaction. Of course he knew you were trans too so not like you'd be one to be a transphobe, but he didn't want you to stop seeing him as a man and only see him as trans.

“Toby, you are a man. Nothing short of you telling me otherwise will change that for me.”

Toby isn't sure when you grabbed his hand but he's aware of your hold when you start to rub along his knuckles. He watches your thumb circle jis joints and pressing a bit into the divots as he takes another deep breath.

He gives his best smile, a lopsided uncomfortable looking thing, “I don't think I like when you call me Toby.”

[sugoi-writes]

Ahhhh imagine FG in his skinny form and he’s self conscious but MC reassures him that he’s still adorable and handsome. Stretch marks and all and of course helps him as he recovers to his normal size

*TOO CUTE TOO CUTE*  implied n/sfw ahead!

You hear a heavy sigh from the bathroom, rousing from your sleepy state. 

“Taishiro...?” you question quietly, your grogginess evident in your tone. You hear Fatgum shifting around, before he responds. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s me!! Sorry... ‘just can’t sleep,” your boyfriend admits, glancing back at his reflection. He reaches up and pinches his cheek, giving it a good frisk before letting go. It was clear why he was so restless and uneasy. 

Day Nine of Slimgum, and he was unable to keep anything on, let alone start gaining weight. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He was even pacing himself as usual! No stress eating, and he was currently not under-eating! ...So why was he still stuck like this?

Taishiro shudders when he feels you come up behind, snaking your arms loosely around his middle. He wasn’t used to the feeling, but it made his heart warm and flutter nonetheless. 

He places his hands on top of yours as you strain to rest your head on his shoulder (even now: your boyfriend was STILL an absolute unit). “Baby... this has been going on for a while...” you say gently, nuzzling into the crook of his neck,” Is there something bothering you?”

Taishiro glances away from your shared reflection, laughing nervously,” W-Well... you know me, a little too well,” Taishiro says with a grin, earning a tired giggle from you,” But... this... y’know, this... physique. This isn’t me... and I haven’t been like this-- for this long-- ...in a long time.”

You seem to understand, your fingers weaving into Fatgum’s. Your sleepy acts of affection make his smile soften,” I guess... this is just... driving me a little nuts. Usually, people think that me looking like this is a good thing, or even healthier for me. But: I think you know better than anyone else that I’m... incredibly vulnerable in this state.” 

“Mentally?” you pipe up gently, before Fatgum hums in approval. 

“Yeah... and physically. So, I guess I’m just a little paranoid. This body... isn’t ideal. And the fact that I’m not back to tip-top shape concerns me. And beyond that, I...” Fatgum hesitates, biting his lip as he closes his eyes,” I honestly... well, I hate the way I feel when I look at myself. Especially when I look like this.” 

You feel Taishiro tense up, his fists clamping down onto your hands as you look to his reflection. Your heart could shatter at the wavering tone in his voice.

“Baby...” you whine, spinning him around to face you,” I... I understand why you’re uncomfortable, but...” You glance away, a flush rising in your cheeks,” P-Please don’t take this the wrong way, but... I think you’re just as beautiful now as you are when you’re... normal. And in some ways, you’re more beautiful like this.”

Fatgum blinks, appalled,” Beautiful?” he echoes, leaving you to nod sheepishly. 

“Y-Yeah... Tai... you are gorgeous,” you assure softly, cupping Fatgum’s cheek tenderly. He smiles genuinely, squeezing your hand.

“M-Maybe to you... but... I really don’t think so. I just... never liked this body image, y’know? It almost feels... gross, to me.” Taishiro subconsciously reaches for his other arm, clutching it as he glances away from you. You can see the beginnings of deep, purple stretch marks poking out from under his sleeve. You take his hand before he can dig his nails into his arms, and take his chin in your other hand.

“Toyomitsu Taishiro,” you say firmly, making him look to you. ” You are not gross. You are beautiful,” you press, before lifting the sleeve of his shirt,” ...look at your arms... how wonderful they are. Even while they’re shredded, I can still see some of you here...”

You playfully pinch his underarm, making Fatgum yelp in surprise. You wiggle some of the loose skin, smiling,” See? Here’s some of the chub~” you gently coo, making Fatgum smile sheepishly. 

“G-Gummy bear...” he stammers, before your hands settle on his shoulders. “And look at these traps,” you say smoothly, gently rubbing happy circles into his tense shoulders,” Even though you’re much slimmer here... I can feel a bit of give right... here~” 

You poke at the junction between his neck and shoulder, making Taishiro yelp and laugh nervously. Clearly, Slimgum was ticklish.

“Y-Y/N...! St-Stop, I get it! It tickles, Gum--!” 

You give him no reprieve as your hands suddenly dash towards his ribs, tickling him through his nightshirt. Taishiro starts bellowing with laughter, trying to swat your hands away. You don’t back down from the fight, staying on the offense. When he manages to grab your wrists, you put yourself flush against his chest, making him fluster. 

“And this stomach, wow... I can feel how solid your core is right now...” you say, tone like velvet as you press your abdomen against his,” ...but, even surrounding this muscle, these abs... you’re still ticklish... and you still have a liiiiittle tum~” you purr, making Taishiro’s chest swell with festering heat. 

“G-Gummy bear...!” Taishiro protests, but you free your wrists, your hands going under his shirt. You smile up to him, your eyes half lidded as your fingers linger against the waistband of his athletic shorts.

“...and... here... right were your core dips,” you whisper, your words practically dripping passion,” ...we both know... that you're definitely packing some serious stuff downstairs... here...” you tense, as you run a finger along his inner thigh.

A warm smile blooms on your face as you lean up to kiss his cheek,” Honeybear~” you coo, making Fatgum shudder. Your tone has dipped an octave, your tone gravely and intoxicating. 

“...and... of course, here~” you say cheekily, before giving Fatgum a harty slap on his ass. Taishiro nearly yelps, grabbing your shoulders and shoving you back slightly. 

“Y-Y/N...” Fatgum practically groans, before making firm eye contact with you,” Do you... Do you really like this form? Do you... still--y’know... feel attracted to me.. despite my different my body is?”

“Trust me when I say... I fell in love with you, multiple times... When I first saw you... when I first saw you with your students... How gentle and sweet and hilarious you are... And even when I see you struggling like this... You are the most breathtaking person in the world, Taishiro... and I’m more than willing to show you... with words or actions... your pick~” 

Taishiro can only stand their flabbergasted, before your lips collide passionately. He can’t help but push you against the wall, his knees and arms trapping you beneath him. You grin mischievously, looping your arms around your neck as your mind wonders what exactly you were gonna do to him... 

When you part, Taishiro huffs hoarsely, practically tearing off his shorts. 

” This... kinda defeats the purpose-- but...” Fatgum looks down to you, as you feel his arousal bumping against your stomach,” but... you better sweat me out of my skin, sugar.”

.

.

.

Days of glorious cuddles, passion, and movie nights have gone by, and FINALLY, after stumbling into the bathroom... Fatgum erupts into a happy barrage of laughter. You jolt upright, your heart pounding as you wake up from your intense nap. 

“H-Huh, whu-- Tai?” you whine, before you see your absolute unit of a boyfriend burst through the bathroom door. 

“GUESS WHO’S BACK!!!”

You could only spring out of bed and shriek with glee, nearly pouncing on your boyfriend as he welcomes you with open arms. He spins you around happily, peppering your face with kisses. 

“I couldn’t have done it without you, babe! We finally did it! I finally feel like myself again! I’m a whole new me!!!” Fatgum cheers, squeezing you tightly as you do your best to hug him back. 

“I told you that you’d get back into shape soon!” you jab, squeezing him back as he continues to adore you. You pull back from him, hands splaying out over his wide chest.

You flick his nose with your index finger, chuckling,” That’s what I like to hear~”

“But don’t forget what we talked about... you were still beautiful then... and you’re just as beautiful now, especially since you’re safe and happy~” Taishiro grins down at you, kissing you sweetly as he nods. 

“Yeah, I know... If it’s a part of who I am... I should try to adapt and appreciate it. And if you already love it... then maybe I can too~” 

The two of you continue to celebrate, basking in the particularly warm and divine moment. Taishiro was more than relieved, but you were just content with the fact that you finally got through to him. And hopefully, he will understand and see himself the way that you do. 

[voids-colourful-creations]

Ships Passing in the Night and Sailing Together Until Morning - Chapter 2

On the Subject of Caring

Summary: Goh isn't as accustomed to caring about another person as perhaps he should be, so he's not quite ready for some of the pitfalls of it. Pikachu tries to communicate. Koharu will support her childhood friend whether he wants it or not.

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Goh’s heart dropped to his stomach the same moment Satoshi’s entire body dropped into Gengar’s arms. He almost appeared to fold in on himself, legs swaying back and forth as he fell forward nauseatingly.

“Satoshi.”

He called, just hoping to know what was happening at all. Satoshi didn’t respond. Eyes— when had those dark patches under them grown so large?— threatened to shut and Goh begged them not to.

“Satoshi!”

Goh leaned forward, calling harder, more desperate. Satoshi blinked for a moment, eyes widening as Goh’s voice rose. Just as quickly, as though being weighed down, his eyelids began to shut again.

“Satoshi!”

Over and over he called his name, but Satoshi had long since gone slack in Gengar’s arms, unresponsive. Regardless, Goh’s lips seemed to move on their own, meaningless syllables being pushed out near mechanically. Dimly, he registered Pikachu scampering over to Satoshi’s side, licking his cheek to no response.

Dozens of disconnected thoughts and ideas popped into Goh’s mind and disappeared just as quickly, fireworks of memories and concepts, fueled by fear and adrenaline.

“Satoshi.”

His voice cracked and finally fell silent, though his lips still traced the shapes. Replacing the sound of his name was Goh’s heartbeat in his ears.

He was beginning to feel numb, and then-

A sharp jolt of electricity coursed through his body.

“Pika! Pikapi pi-pika!”

Small paws reached around Goh’s leg, holding him tightly. Goh looked down in a daze, perhaps from the electricity, perhaps from the fear, meeting Pikachu’s worried gaze.

“Pikapi pikachu pi-pika! Chu? Chu pika pika pikapi, chuka?” Pikachu squeaked out.

And this was complete nonsense, Goh knew, a mix of fear and adrenaline and sheer stupidity, but somehow… he felt as though Pikachu was talking to him. Asking him, no- begging him for help. Maybe it was something in Pikachu’s eyes or his grip on Goh’s leg tightening. Maybe he was just projecting his own feelings onto the pokemon, maybe he had finally lost it-

But he could have sworn that in that moment he heard what Pikachu was saying. That somehow, someway, Pikachu was asking him, “Please, take care of my Satoshi.”

Was that what Satoshi had meant then, about Lugia?

Goh shook his head. There was no time for panic or pokemon human communication right now. He had to help Satoshi, and he had to do it now.

“Don’t worry, Pikachu.” Goh replied, though more for his sake than Pikachu’s. “I- I can do this. I promise… I’ll take care of him.”

Or at least he hoped he could. A few stray memories of emergency preparedness lessons and ‘what to do’s’ from his parents drifted through his mind, just out of reach.

“Pulse, I need to check for a pulse, " w as the first solid thought Goh could come up with. Which of course made the whole situation feel so much scarier, but then the idea of not checking and not knowing felt so much worse.

Goh reached for Satoshi’s wrist, holding it firmly in his hand. His thumb pressed lightly against Satoshi’s skin.

Goh felt his entire body relax as he registered the steady pounding of Satoshi’s pulse.

“Good, that’s good.”

Hesitantly, Goh leaned in closer, straining his ear.

“He’s still breathing.” He said aloud, which merited a few relieved pokemon noises.

As Gengar shifted its weight in order to get a better grip on the boy, Satoshi’s bangs fell in front of his closed eyes. Goh reached up subconsciously, brushing them aside. As his fingers brushed against uncomfortably warm skin, a natural conclusion snapped together in his mind.

“You’re sick, aren’t you Satoshi?”

Satoshi, obviously, did not respond, though Goh seemed satisfied with his conclusion.

On one hand, having any sort of idea of the situation was relieving. On the other, Goh’s heart was still racing and the anxiety of not knowing what to do was only gaining stronger by the moment.

The last thing he wanted was to do something wrong and risk-

No. He refused to finish the thought.

“Bun? Nybuny?” It was Hibunny’s turn to pull at Goh’s leg.

Goh bent down to the worried pokemon, Pikachu standing by its side.

“It’s alright, Hibunny. Pikachu too. Satoshi’s gonna be fine… he- he’s gonna be fine.” His voice wavered slightly as he spoke. Hibunny shook its head, reaching a paw up to swipe at Goh’s cheek.

Goh mirrored the action, finding his own fingers damp with tears.

Of course he was crying.

Goh reached forward, scooping up Hibunny in one arm, finding Pikachu crawling up the other to rest on his shoulder.

Hibunny rubbed it’s head against Goh’s gently, it’s soft fur drying Goh’s still slowly flowing tears.

“Come on, crying won’t help anything…” Goh muttered to himself. “Help… right.”

Help. Of course. He had to call for help.

“Rotom!” Goh called out, rubbing at his eyes with the back of one hand as he fished his phone out of his sweater pocket with the other. “Call someone from the lab!”

“Okay!” The slightly static voice called out with energy, but there was a hint more emotion than there usually was. Fear? “Who would you like me to call?”

“I- I don’t- Please, just call someone- anyone from the labs!”

“Okay!”

Goh cleared his throat, dragging his palm against his cheeks in an effort to disguise the tear tracks. Not that anyone was around to see, beyond the pokemon of course.

“…calling-! …calling-! …call-“

Someone picked up.

“Hello, Goh. What’s going on?”

Kikuna’s voice came through the line, curious and soft.

“I need help,” Was all Goh could manage to choke out at first.

Kikuna’s voice grew stronger, more attentive.

“What’s wrong? What do you need help with?”

And Goh hated how weak and childish he sounded, but for the sake of Satoshi he knew he had to cast those feelings away.

“I-It’s Satoshi. He- he passed out and I can’t get him to wake up and I think he’s sick and I can’t get us back to the lab and-“ Hibunny pressed its face against Goh’s again, and he fell silent for a moment. Calm down, it seemed to be saying. Take a breath, it silently encouraged.

So Goh did, a slow inhale followed by a shaky exhale.

“Please, come help,” He managed to say.

“Alright,” Kikuna’s voice was solid, something for Goh to hold on to. “Don’t worry, I’m coming to pick you up right now. Have your rotom send me your location, alright?”

Goh nodded.

“A-alright. Thank you.”

“Good job.” Kikuna said. Her voice grew quieter as she turned away from the phone to say something to someone else in the room. Her voice grew loud enough for Goh to hear as she yelled something that sounded suspiciously like, “Renji, I’m borrowing your car!”

Goh took another deep breath before speaking again.

“Rotom, send our location to Kikuna, please.”

“Okay!” It replied.

“Got it!” Kikuna’s voice called out, sounding a bit further away now. “Goh, I’m heading out the door right now, okay? I’m heading down the steps, I’m going to get in Renji’s car and drive right to pick you up. Do you want me to stay on the line with you?”

Goh shook his head.

“No, no it’s fine. I-I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Goh could hear the slam of a car door as Kikuna climbed inside.

“Yeah… Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”

“Alright. If anything happens, call.”

And with that, Kikuna hung up.

So now it was time to wait.

Pikachu’s cheeks crackled with small bursts of electricity, sending tiny, harmless sparks at Goh. It would’ve been a lot more interesting to study the why and how had Goh not been so worried. Instead he placed a hand gently on Pikachu’s head, stroking him with light moments.

A car drove by in the distance, and Gengar pulled Satoshi in closer.

Goh sighed, a weary smile forming on his face.

“You really care about Satoshi now, huh?”

Gengar nodded, taking care so as not to disturb the sleeping Satoshi, though both knew he was out cold.

Goh nodded as well, soon turning into a quick bow.

“Sorry. For what I said about you cursing him and all. It wasn’t your fault. None of it, not what’s happening now or before or what your trainer did- none of it was your fault.”

Gengar stood silent for a moment, then nodded, it’s frown rotating to a smile for a brief moment.

Pikachu whined a bit, reaching towards Satoshi.

“Do you wanna get down, Pikachu?”

Pikachu shook his head.

“Pikaaa. Pikapi pika pika pi. Chu pikapa, pikapika pikapi?”

Goh bit his lip, trying to figure a response that would somehow console Pikachu despite not fully understanding what he was saying. He reached forward, almost on instinct, to hold Satoshi’s hand in his own. It was limp and warm and wholly uncomfortable and Goh held it tight. This seemed to calm Pikachu, though Goh couldn’t be sure.

Before he could stress too much about it, the honk of a car horn rang out, startling everyone in the area.

To Goh’s relief, Kikuna had arrived.

Kikuna pushed the car door open forcefully, hard enough for it to swing as far as it could and bounce back to where it had been. It would’ve hit her as she exited had she not run out so quickly.

She was taking this seriously, Goh immediately realized, and wasn’t sure if that fact was meant to be terrifying or comforting.

She presented an air of something resembling confidence, yet so much sharper, almost daring anyone to stop her before she reached her goal. Despite this, her voice and expression softened when she bent down to talk to Goh, still frozen so neatly in place.

“Come on, Goh, let’s take Satoshi back to the labs.”

Goh hesitated for a moment.

“S-shouldn’t we take him to a doctor or something first?” He asked, voice having lost its spark.

Kindly, far too kindly for Goh’s liking, Kikuna replied.

“Luckily for us, there was a Nurse Joy visiting the labs when you called me, and since she has experience with Satoshi in particular, she’s waiting for us there. It’ll be a lot faster this way.”

Goh’s stomach turned at the idea that any part of this situation could be referred to as lucky.

“Let’s get going, alright?”

Goh felt himself tense. He wanted to agree, he knew that was best and that they had to go, but part of him just wanted to stay frozen here forever.

“Goh,” Kikuna’s voice was gentle, holding him as though he was about to shatter, and Goh thought he might be sick, “I need you to let go of Satoshi for me, okay? I need to pick him up and put him in the car, and I can’t do that if you’re holding him.”

Weakly, Goh nodded, and painfully let his hand go, as lifeless as Satoshi’s.

“Good, good. Thank you.”

Kikuna turned to Gengar, thanking it as well as it passed off Satoshi to her. She handled the weight well, yet the sight wasn’t comforting to Goh in the slightest.

“I don’t think I can fit all the people and pokemon in my car.” Kikuna noted idly, merely thinking to herself.

“I could walk-“ Goh heard himself offer without believing it. Thankfully, Kikuna shot that idea down immediately.

“No, you’re riding with me, alright?”

The words were said forcefully, but with such a gentle air. It was a contradiction, yet one that Goh felt compelled to comply with. He nodded.

Gengar looked back and forth between the humans, then promptly melted into darkness, merging with Goh’s shadow.

Kikuna stood blankly for a moment.

“Well, that solves that problem. Come on, we don’t want to leave Joy waiting, right?”

With Hibunny in his arms and Pikachu still clinging to his shoulder, Goh ducked into the backseat of a car that decidedly wasn’t Kikuna’s, but that she had driven here regardless.

The car sputtered to life, and Kikuna took off down the road.

Each turn tossed Goh around, the ride going too fast and yet not getting there quickly enough.

Satoshi sat strapped into the seat next to him, Hibunny sitting between them with Pikachu clinging on to Goh’s shoulder. Goh tried not to think about how Pikachu would probably prefer to be on Satoshi’s shoulder right now. He tried not to think of anything at all, letting the street signs and sidewalks they passed become the meaningless blurs they should’ve been.

Kikuna said nothing, and neither did Goh.

The car’s steady hum was the only sound for Goh to listen to, interrupted occasionally by a soft ‘pika’ in his ear.

“Pipikachu, chu.”

It almost felt like Pikachu was whispering to him, trying to reassure him, but Goh dismissed the thought.

“Quit projecting onto the pokemon, Goh.” He thought to himself, half mouthing them without a sound escaping.

Pikachu squeaked some more, and Goh let the likely meaningless sounds run through his mind until they arrived back at the labs.

Everything became a blur once Goh opened the car door.

Adults talking above his head, Satoshi getting passed around until he wasn’t sure where he had gone. Someone was pushing him into one room or another, someone was speaking to him, but his senses seemed to have died. It was a scribble of sounds and sights he refused to process, until everything had finally died down, and the world had gone much too silent and still.

He sat on the couch in the lab’s centre room, both alone and lonely. The ever present electric hum of the computers accompanied him as best they could, yet Goh felt open, exposed.

He was looking at nothing. To the outside observer it may have appeared as though he was focused in on the floorboards, but Goh was decidedly looking at nothing. The nothing that sat between his eyes and the wooden floor. The type that turned everything twisty and not quite right when he looked at it for too long. That strange sort of always present nothing.

It wasn’t an interesting sight, but nothing always has the added benefit of being such. There was nothing associated with nothing, only the absence of things.

So for Goh right then, that sounded about right.

He was decidedly not thinking about Satoshi. He was not worrying if Satoshi was okay, on account of knowing full well that Satoshi’s welfare was completely independent of how much he worried, and doing so would only be counterproductive.

So he was not worrying. Not in the slightest.

He told himself internally that he could stand up and leave, but his legs made no effort to do so. It was for the best anyway. If he had gone to the park, Satoshi’s pokemon would ask him where Satoshi was, and then he would have started worrying. He was not sitting outside the dorm room’s door, because the unintelligible whispering of the adults within would only put him on edge. He was not looking around the empty room, he was not letting the absence of one person make him feel lonely, he was not worrying, he was fine .

He was looking at nothing.

He was looking at nothing so hard that he had completely missed the second person entering the room.

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

Goh flinched, a voice breaking the silence in tandem with a hand breaking his personal space as it came to rest on his shoulder.

He turned abruptly to meet Koharu’s concerned eye.

“Uh…”

She shook her head.

“Can you please just tell me what’s going on? Kikuna only explained half as she was running out the door, completely dropping everything.”

Goh felt his mouth dry up at Koharu’s clear exasperation.

“I… sorry.”

Koharu sighed.

“Of course.”

He hated how resigned she sounded, annoyed yet complicit with the situation. Hoping his voice wouldn’t break, he replied.

“Satoshi… got sick. I-I don’t know why.”

Koharu nodded, relaxing slightly with the added information, though not by much.

“How sick?” She asked, though he got the feeling she already knew as much, and simply wanted to hear from him.

Goh simply stared miserably at the floor, which Koharu decided to take as an answer.

“And what about you?”

Her voice dropped to that gentler tone, one she hadn’t used with him in years.

“Fine,” Goh replied, because it would be true if he believed so for long enough.

Koharu rolled her eyes.

“You’re not fooling anyone. What’s even the point of lying like that?”

Goh’s throat felt strained as he replied.

“It’s easier. It’s stupid and complicated and hard to explain, I don’t even understand it, so why even try.”

He jammed his lips shut, waiting for Koharu’s scathing response.

Koharu paused, expression unreadable.

“Then tell me what you do understand. And we can start from there.”

It wasn’t the response Goh was expecting. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, Goh spoke again, facing the empty space ahead of him instead of his friend.

“I’m scared.” He admitted, “This all feels weird and bad and scary and I hate it.”

His voice was quiet yet resonant through the too still air.

Koharu shook her head, sending her braid bouncing.

“You watched a person you care about pass out right in front of you with no warning, then couldn’t wake him up and had to call someone to bring him back here. Sounds scary to me. Nothing weird about it.”

“It’s not just that!” Goh added. “I just... I don’t know when it happened. When Satoshi stopped being an annoyance and turned into a person I would get this upset over. I wouldn’t have done that before...”

Koharu nodded, “Well yeah. Satoshi changed you, as a person and all. Though I can’t tell if that’s because he’s like… the second friend you ever made for more than twenty-four hours or because he’s Satoshi. ”

Goh tilted his head.

“He… changed me?”

Koharu rolled her eyes.

“If you can’t see it, that's your problem, but the Goh I knew wouldn’t be sitting with me and having this conversation if he hadn't met Satoshi.”

Goh leaned forward, eyebrows knitting together.

“D- do you think it’s a good change? Am I better now? Do you like me better changed than-“

Koharu raised a hand to give Goh a light chop on the head.

“Don’t go thinking about it too much. I was your friend before, I’m still your friend now. People change Goh. That’s just how they are. But you’re the one who’s gotta figure out how and why. More importantly, you’ve gotta figure out what you’re gonna do with that change.”

Goh didn’t move.

“If I’m better now then what part of me wasn’t good enough before... but then, If I’m not better, what didn’t I do enough of to change for the better?”

Koharu groaned.

“You’re not listening!”

Reaching to the side, she took Goh by the shoulders and turned him to face her.

“I like you for who you are, Goh, because we’re friends and I knew what I signed up for. You’re still you when you change, and I’m still gonna be your friend unless you change into an axe murderer or something. What I’m trying to get at is that you didn’t change for like four years. You just stayed inside all the time and didn’t talk to people. Now you’re doing that stuff again because of Satoshi. And making connections and being more open to new things, because of Satoshi. That’s a change. Only you can decide if it’s good or bad.”

Goh blinked.

“Well scientifically, the amount of time I’ve spent outside is better for vitamin d intake, though-“

Koharu cut him off, “Nerd.”

Goh rolled his eyes at her, appreciating the light air for a moment before it settled down into his lungs, turning heavy as he breathed out a melancholy sigh.

“You’re right. You have a habit of being right. It’s a bit annoying.”

Koharu grinned, though Goh continued without smiling.

“It’s just... change is scary. What if I don’t like the person I become?”

He looked up, turning to meet Koharu’s eyes, hoping his own didn’t look as watery as they felt.

Koharu nodded.

“I may not get half the things you say about pokemon, but that I can understand. Although, if you’re ever unhappy about how you’ve changed, you can always go back to the way you were.”

Goh paused for a moment in consideration. His life before had been busy, but felt hollow and lonely, even with Koharu to help fill the holes in his life, it still felt like the time he had spent was in some way, not enough. It was dark, cozy even, but small. Now his days were open and full of light. He couldn’t say that empty feeling was never there, but the warm complete feeling was certainly more present. He felt more complete, like with each passing day spent exploring with Satoshi, he understood him better, understood himself better. It felt wonderful.

Goh made a face.

“I wouldn’t like that at all.”

Koharu smiled, a laugh slipping out of her lips.

“Well, I think you’ve answered your own question.”

And there it was again. That nice warm complete feeling.

“Yeah. I guess I have.”

The near silence settled over them again, still not comforting but not as malicious or empty as it had been.

Koharu reached a hand out towards Goh, a softer expression on her face.

Goh shook his head.

“I’m not a little kid, Koharu. I don’t need you to hold my hand just cause I’m a little worried.”

“Geez, Goh.” Koharu chastised, shaking her head. “I know you love to act like you’re an adult and all, but you really can be quite childish.”

Keeping her hand outstretched, she continued.

“Being a kid isn’t such a bad thing, you know? You get to explore and experiment, you don’t have to know what all you’re doing with your life. It’s not a death sentence to just let yourself be a child sometimes Goh, from one kid to another.”

Goh remained silent. Without saying a word, he nodded ever so slightly, reaching up to hold Koharu’s hand.

She too stayed silent, not saying a word when something in the buildings would shift, or footsteps would echo down the now quiet halls, and Goh’s grip would tighten for a moment.

They stayed like that for a while.

When Goh went to bed that night, he found himself staring at the ceiling. There was no need to worry anymore, not with the steady snores of Satoshi below him, yet the residual anxiety remained. It was an odd sense of guilt that followed him. Despite knowing this wasn’t his fault, no one’s fault really, sometimes people just got sick, he couldn’t help but feel responsible.

His mind drifted back to the sidewalk, to Satoshi’s lifeless body, to Pikachu’s desperate squeaks.

Not for the first time, Goh fell asleep, dreaming intangibly of a warm light, encased in icy glass to protect it.

[End of Chapter 2]

[marueonmain]

Sun Would Be Good ~ ImAllexx (1/2)

Summary: Y/N tries to help Alex out during a difficult time. 

Pairing: imallexx x reader

Warning: Language. Themes of Self-Deprecation. Depression Talk.

Word Count: 1.5k

Y/N unlocked the front door to her boyfriend’s apartment using the one copy of the key Alex was ever given. He said he would not need it for himself as George was always in.

“Hello? Alex?” Y/N called out. She looked to the undisturbed sofa and glanced into the empty kitchen as she walked through the familiar space. Closing in on Alex’s bedroom, she thought she would have heard something like his presentation voice as he spoke to a camera or the electronic fanfare of a video game or dialogue from a Harry Potter film like he had her watch with him a hundred times before.

There was no such sound – none at all.

KNOCK. KNOCK. Y/N opened the door to Alex’s bedroom. It was about the same as it always was: trashed: wrinkled clothes sat in heaps on the floor and on his desk were plastic cups half-full with flat drinks and frappuccinos with just a few centimeters of whipped topping left at the bottom. His bed bore crumpled sheets and a balled-up duvet hiding every part of the young man save a socked foot dangling off the edge and his button nose poking out for fresh air.

Yes. It was about the same as it always was; still, there was one small yet stark difference. It was dark. Alex was never one to rise in the morning, and yank open his curtains to the bright sun outside. But he did usually have his ceiling light on during the day – however dim and horribly yellow-tinted it was.

Y/N crossed to Alex’s bed. On the low and narrow table near his headboard was his phone plugged into a short charger. Y/N turned it over in her hand. It read: 15:20. And under the time were all the notifications of her messages to him – unnoticed and unread. He had switched his phone to silent.

Y/N considered that maybe Alex had slept in that long because he needed to; he stayed up so late, so consistently. She debated the idea for another minute until she found she simply could not convince herself that it was just a normal lie in. Alex was not even asleep – or he was not anymore – as he retracted his foot, tucking it back under the duvet, and released a not-so-quiet groan of discontent.

Besides the rustling of sheets and their collective breathing, there was another sound – running water. Y/N put the phone back face-down on the table and left for the ensuite. It, too, was trashed. Y/N flicked on the light. All the stuff Alex kept out of sight – toothbrush, nail cutter, polish, unopened tin of hair balm – were strewn about. A thin line of water fell from the tap. Y/N turned it off, and when she did, she noticed a razor without its disposable blade lying in the sink. She took a step back. Looking around, her eyes landed first on the empty towel rail, then the disposable blade sat on the floor in a splat of shaving foam.

Y/N picked up the blade, ran it under water, reattached it, and left the razor on the counter round the sink. She returned to the bedroom and to Alex, who was still hiding under his duvet in the middle of an unkempt bed in a dark room.  

Y/N spoke for the first time since seeing him. “Alex, love. Are you awake?” She knew the answer already.

The lump in the middle of the bed did not move; a voice came from within it. It was faint as if carried on a breath rather than pushed out with intent, “Yeah.”

“What’s happened in there?” She tipped her head in the direction of the ensuite despite knowing Alex could not see the gesture before sitting gingerly on the end of his bed.

“All I wanted, yeah?” Alex interrupted himself with an exasperated sigh then started again, this time sounding like he was speaking through clenched teeth, “All I wanted was to shave. I couldn’t— I thought I could shave, but no. I didn’t leave the shaving foam where I always leave it, and it took me forever to find it. Then the razor breaks the second it touches my skin. And I couldn’t find the blade to put it back together. And then it’s like, who cares at that point? I’m not going out anyway, nobody cares if I shave, nobody cares to see me. And now I’m saying it all out loud, and I sound so stupid, but I just wanted to be able to do one thing – that’s it – one fucking thing!”

Y/N made a closed fist and tapped it against where she figured her boyfriend’s legs were hidden under the duvet. She cleared her throat. “How about you get up, huh? We can go out for breakfast.”

“I can’t go out right now.”

“You don’t even have to brush your hair or anything,” she said as her eyes scanned the floor; she spotted his black TikTok bucket hat. “You can just throw on a hat. I look a mess anyway.”

Alex waited, then whispered a gentle plea, “Go away, Y/N.”

“I know, ok? I know it’s difficult.” Y/N’s throat tightened. “It’s difficult, but it isn’t helping you to sit in the dark with whatever is going on in your head right now.”

“Nothing.”

“Maybe breakfast is a lot to ask. I don’t mean to be pushy; I just—”

Underneath the lump, Alex shifted from lying on his side to his stomach, as evident when his voice became muffled like it was being filtered through a pillow. “Leave me alone.”

“I want to be able to help. Could you help me to understand what I can do?”

“I want to sleep.”

“Do you think you could sit up? Nothing else, no going anywhere, just sitting up.”

Alex ripped the duvet off himself, throwing his arm out with a hard and quick movement like he was trying to rid himself of the appendage; it was a wonder he did not dislocate his elbow. Y/N got her first good look at his face: messy hair weighed down with grease and eyes so bloodshot that she subconsciously scratched at her own to relieve some phantom irritation.  

“Fuck off! Alright, Y/N? Is that clear enough for you?” As the last accusatory word left his mouth, the regret was already plain on his face. His features softened, and he pulled into himself.

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t mean that.” Y/N tried to keep her composure because she still understood despite how blindsided she was at the outburst. She understood the potholes in the road to recovery and management; she understood a depressive episode. And how Alex might not have recognized he was in one.

It must have been just as difficult for him as it was for her to realize when she had slipped. Her descent was always slow, gradual enough that she could normalize everything. Instead of thinking it odd she had not brushed her hair in three days, she would simply wake up on the fourth and ask herself: Why do it today? I haven’t the last three. Instead of reflecting on the unreasonableness of how one small thing going wrong caused her to scream out in unjust anger or caused tears to spring to her eyes, she reasoned with herself: I’m just sensitive, I know that.

Y/N empathized with how Alex’s episode was causing him to be disproportionately irritable and to respond inappropriately to not being able to shave, a little annoyance that he would otherwise brush off easily or not care about at all.

“Sorry.” Alex untangled himself from his sheets. It was slow going as he moved like it was not him controlling his body, like he was on strings. He dragged himself up into a seated position and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Not meeting Y/N’s gaze, he said, with hesitation, “Sun would be good. I think. Would you want to go for a walk with me?”

Y/N smiled genuinely for the first time that afternoon. “Absolutely.”

“I need to change; would you mind grabbing my shoes? I kicked ‘em off last night near the sofa.”

Y/N nodded. She crossed the room and took two steps out of his bedroom – SLAM – she jumped at the sound of Alex throwing his door closed behind her. Y/N turned around and tried the handle – locked.

“You’re not serious,” Y/N muttered. She pulled harder on the handle as if her strength were the issue; she raised her voice, “Are you serious?! Alex!”

Surely not. Y/N let her hand drop limp from the door handle. Not Alex. Not my sweet boyfriend, the clingiest and softest man I’ve ever met. He hadn’t slammed a door in my face. No. Surely not. And if he had…? She stood there – at the door – not because she was waiting for Alex to open it. To laugh and call it a joke even though it was far from funny. No. She stood there because she just did not think to go anywhere else. Y/N was consumed in all her worst thoughts. It was just what she had tried to stop Alex from doing. And now I’ve failed twice.