#the meeting where Decepticon high command realized that Optimus always comes back had to be chilling

[transingthoseformers]

It's secretly super interesting and fucked up how Optimus in the tfp au is functionally immortal

Ratchet clearly knows about this, but do the Decepticons know. Does Megatron know Optimus alwats comes back? We know there's a bunch of reasons why Megatron doesn't try to like actually kill Oppy, but in addition could this be one of them?

I can see him early in the war not expecting a shot/blow to kill Optimus, then panic like pits thinking "oh frag oh frag oh frag have I actually offlined him? Dear Primus no I didn't want this please wake up no no no—" then Optimus just onlines and gets right back up again. Now it'd be kinda funny if Megan's first feeling upon seeing that is relief, then logic kicks in and he's hit with this wave of shock. Like Holy Fuck his nemesis ex just came back to life and that's not supposed to happen.

I'm betting Megatron would call for a retreat, and the entire trip back and medical check over he's in this state of denial. He's probably making excuses like perhaps Optimus wasn't that badly injured and he missed something, maybe the entire thing is a recharge flux, ohhh Megatron would seek out information and confirm that yes Oppy is currently alive. That's gotta be a fucked up scenario.

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis Part Three, Scene Three: The Eighties Weren’t All That Great, Actually

Nightbeat, Sunstreaker, Hoist and Grapple come out on the other side of the wormhole in 1984, on the Ark, just as according to plan. Nightbeat reminds everyone to not touch anything, lest they alter their present, only for that rule to be broken literally immediately.

Luckily, we seem to be working on Elegant Chaos time-travel rules, so things are working out okay.

But how do we know that? We haven’t been in the past for two minutes, surely the current state of the present is still up in the air.

Turns out Optimus never actually intended for any of the robots aboard the Ark to ever wake up or be found. He made sure that would happen by activating the Sidestep Drive- a molecule wiggler that renders the ship completely invisible.

So, Hoist just turned off the Sidestep Drive. He was always intended to, since Optimus had no intention of letting anyone out of the Ark crash alive.

That’s some dark shit, Optimus. I can’t believe this is the same guy who tells dad jokes and shoots hoops with the kids.

The gang splits up to look for clues, leaving Nightbeat all on his lonesome, as he reflects on when the Ark had gone missing. There’d been a lot of propaganda, some of it getting outright bizarre- think along the lines of cannibalism- but at the end of the day, all they’d known at the time was that Optimus Prime and a majority of the Autobot’s finest warriors just weren’t around anymore. He remembers how he’d not been picked for the fated mission, and retroactively feels incredibly grateful for it, despite having been incredibly disappointed at the time.

On a lower level of the ship, Grapple and Hoist are poking around looking for Optimus. Hoist wanders off to make sure his mind crystal didn’t get broken in the crash- Hoist was one of a group of Autobots who had their minds copied and placed onto the Ark in secret, just in case extra troops were needed after launch. It’s fine. Which is good, because it keeps the time-stream from getting too terribly convoluted.

Sunstreaker, on the other hand, is having a horrible time. He’s just found his own mangled body, his face having been more or less erased by an acid pellet that had been fired at him millions of years prior. Nightbeat apologizes, having not considered the fact that Sunstreaker had actually been on the Ark when he’d picked him for this mission. Yeah, that’s kind of a massive oversight, my guy. I can’t believe nobody said anything.

They find Optimus in the same room.

I guess it’s just physically impossible for anyone to write these two bastards without any Undertones™ bleeding into it at some point. “Journeys end in lovers meeting”, indeed.

Nightbeat, he’s a FUCKING SEMI-TRUCK.

While Nightbeat’s busy fat-shaming the robo-messiah, everyone else is busy trying to get him unstuck from Megatron. He makes the call to bring Optimus back online in the future, so he doesn’t have to see how thoroughly wrecked the Ark crew is.

The team carries Optimus back to the future, pall-bearer style. There’s a brief moment of panic when Grapple realizes that they haven’t found Optimus’ trailer, which is also a part of him and shares space in his mind? Weird to think that Optimus’ detachable butt shares his consciousness. Luckily, the reformatting hasn’t taken place yet, so his trailer doesn’t currently exist.

It’s not everyday you gotta kidnap your dead leader from the past to fight a bunch of tentacle monsters. I think I can forgive Nightbeat for being a little short here.

Meanwhile, Sixshot is watching the cleanup of his fellow Decepticons’ corpses via Laserbeak’s surveillance footage. It’s looking grim for the ‘Cons; at least sixty percent of their forces are now dead or imprisoned by the Quintessons. Soundwave’s definitely dead.

Still got my doubts about that, but will see if those doubts bear any fruit.

Sixshot sends everyone away, so he can focus on how scared shitless he is about what’s currently transpiring.

The birth and pregnancy theming is ratcheting up in this Part to an alarming degree. Roberts, you’re obsessed.

Sixshot recalls the last time the Quintessons had invaded, where all of his friends- very powerful, nigh-indestructible friends- had been reduced to crumpled cadavers. He himself had hidden under their bodies, shellshocked to the point of considering self-terminating to save himself from a similar fate. He’s still shaken by the experience, hiding two miles underground in a steel silo, with no intention of ever coming out. He can still hear their screams.

That’s some pretty severe PTSD, Sixshot. Maybe you should make an appointment with Rung to work through all that trauma.

Up on the Conquest, General Quantax orders for his troops to get ready to bring the heat to the Autobots.

Roberts is really over here using the nonsense time units from the comics. This was before they had the Wiki, so he probably had some unofficial guidebook, or his own notes, to work off of. Good on him; that’s dedication to the craft right there.

A breem isn’t even ten minutes. Nightbeat better hurry on home.

Speaking of home, Prowl’s running in the halls like a hooligan, getting everything set up for the impending attack.

This just in, local jackass would rather have all of his friends murdered than face any sort of criticism. More at 11.

Quark comes up to him and asks if they can walk together to the munitions room. Prowl says yes, except no, because he’s already where he needs to be. Prowl, I think he asked because he’s scared, so maybe do the guy a solid.

It seems even the OCs know that Prowl sucks.

You want to be a good leader, but don’t want to put forth any actual effort in making people want to follow you. Maybe you should get a WWOPD? bracelet.

Prowl closes the door on Quark. He goes over to the desk and takes a look at the message First Aid’s left him.

That’s right, I’d nearly forgotten that Rodimus was possessed by the robot devil. Prowl’s pretty irritated by the pronoun game, seeing as Rodimus banned the name ‘Unicron’ from the Autobase lexicon in fear of it rousing the embodiment of evil living inside the Matrix.

If the climax of this book is Rodimus Goddamn Prime giving birth to the Antichrist, I am going to lose my fucking mind.

First Aid goes on to state that they still can’t get Unicron out of the Matrix, so whoever gets it next is going to also be subjected to this unwanted demon pregnancy Roberts what the fuck with this parallel. I know that Unicron basically haunting the Matrix was established in the comics, but come on.

That message ends, and Prowl, like any sane person, thinks long and hard on whether he’s ready for that sort of responsibility. Bold of you to assume that the Matrix would even be interested in your slimy ass.

The next message brings more great news- First Aid informs him that Rodimus had a massive seizure, and more than half of his brain’s been effectively turned to mush. He’s calling for High Command to pull the plug, before they pour all of what’s left of their energon into someone with a eight-percent chance of survival.

You’re really doing this, aren’t you Roberts? You’re going to kill Rodimus Prime. Astounding.

Chromedome calls. The Quintessons are on their way. Lots of them.