#the meds are wearing off for today tho so we'll see how the next six hours go

[wolpatinga]

you know that feeling you get when you've been doing something the hard way for fucking ages and then suddenly someone comes up and in five minutes says "oh. here's your problem" and then you do it their way and. and its the right way to do it. and its not hard anymore

guys i had *volition* today. like. actual volition. i wanted to do shit. i could say "no, what, i don't want to hurt" and actually *mean* it. guys i feel good. like, not 100%, but my old 100% was 30% so now me at 80% is a 260% increase. this good day was better than the best day of the past eight months, and it took. fucking. twenty five itty bitty milligrams of fucking nothing. ive eaten rocks bigger than that

im pissed. im pissed i didnt get this sooner. holy fuck