#the main love story broke my fucking heart😭 but they got their happy ending i wish they’ll be happy together forever man
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god i just read the most devestatinf manhwa in my life OWNDWHDJDBDJ
#i thought it was gonna be a slightly angsty but pretty cliche story but#the author went INNNN on discussing trauma omfg and how it affects the ppl around you#the main love story broke my fucking heart😭 but they got their happy ending i wish they’ll be happy together forever man#they love eachother sm 😭 made for eachother 😭#i can’t get over the trauma the main characters faced man😭#something abt characters that get abandoned by their own parents will always strike my heart so bad i just wanna cry 😭😭#the art style was so gorgeous tooo aaaghdhdhdjdh#also i love that the characters were allowed time to heal themselves so that they were able to stay together again#it took so long and it was so worth it#they’ve really loved eachother since they were children huh😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
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Finished my first BG3 playthrough the other day and man I LOVE this game!!!
I love how how there are so many different ways to handle certain situations and fights. It's probably the first time I played a game like this and it was so much fun!!!
I was actually really worried about all the different options and stuff but after spending 110 hours on this game, it wasn't really that bad, on the contrary, it was amazing!
I'm going to start my 2nd playthrough tonight, this time with a Drow Paladin/Warlock (my first was a High Elf Archfey Warlock and I have to say, Eldritch Blast is busted lol)
Here's my elf girl who looks more like a lotr elf than I wanted to lol
And my Drow boy for my 2nd run whom I've already fallen madly in love with
Spoilers under the cut, mostly for the companions' stories.
First of all, the main story. It honestly wasn't THAT great. Like it's not bad or anything, just nothing too special imo. Just goes from finds a cure, fight the 3 bad guys then fight the big gross thing. The 3 chosen were a bit interesting (ok, maybe just Gortash, mainly because he's so pretty lol) like I honestly considered allying with him but 1. I couldn't do this to my girl Karlach 2. I really wanted his robe and I doubt I could've gotten it without killing him XD (I ended up not using it at all but still).
As for the companions' stories, they were GREAT. Astarion, Shadowheart and Wyll were the best imo, Lae'zel has actually really grown, Gale's was good but not as good as the others tbh (and somehow he still managed to grow on me so much that I considered going for him instead of Astarion. I obviously didn't but damn Gale, go easy on me, my poor heart can't take it). Karlach and Halsin's stories were the weakest imo but maybe that's just me being salty about their endings...
For romance, I went with Astarion and Halsin and they're just so sweet 😭😭😭 Halsin has that gentle giant energy and he's just so easygoing. Definitely the kind of guy I'd go for irl lol. And Astarion. Man, he's AMAZING!!! I'm really happy with how his story turned out, a bit disappointed with his good ending, especially when there seems to be a way in d&d to cure his condition, but I'm happy with his story all the same. Like, he's kinda still his "magnificent basterd" self but he also grows so much throughout the story, he becomes softer, more sincere and most importantly, he's actually free and learning to be himself again, to genuinely love and care and to open up and show vulnerability and just ughhhhhh I love him so much and I honestly wish Cazador's death was even worse. He deserved much worse for what he did (and because his fight was soooooooo annoying).
Gale is another one that really broke my heart at one point and I was so ready to fist fight Mystra for him 😭😭😭 like at the end of act 2, he was actually ready to die and it was pure torture to see him like that and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Shadowheart was another one that I really enjoyed, I went from just liking her to wanting to punch her to absolutely loving her. Like in act1 it was fine, funny at times but she really got on my nerves in act2, especially in the gauntlet of shar, like I get that this is where she's supposed to achieve her goal and become a dark justiciar but going Lady Shar this and Lady Shar that at everything started to really annoy me at a certain point but all that annoyance got thrown out of the window when she freed the Nightsong and turned her back on Shar. Like, that must've taken a lot of courage and honestly I was impressed. And then the whole thing with her parents... Damn, Shar really is evil. I chose to free them even though it meant she would live with the pain of Shar's curse for the rest of her life. Like, this was one of the few times that I broke the rp and chose as myself. Overall, her story was amazing (fuck that fight with the mother superior though. All that darkness was pure hell for my party of casters).
Wyll's story really surprised me ngl. I was expecting the boring heroic guy but he turned out to be so much more. The whole thing with Karlach and then his father. This time I chose to sell his soul to Zariel for help to rescue his father but I wonder if I can still rescue his father even after I break his contract. And he gets free bonus points for the fact that his story ended in fighting a dragon. Dragons are always a good addition to any story lol.
Karlach's story had so much potential but it felt like it was cut short. There were a couple of ways to solve her engine's problem, like the gnomes in the steel watch foundry who were working with infernal iron and maybe Dammon. Idk, it was all a bit disappointing honestly. Like she died in my playthrough and no one noticed until she was gone and damn I feel like I'm going to cry again just thinking about it 😭😭😭 overall, best girl deserved so much better.
Speaking of Dammon, him, Rolan and Alfira are my children, my babies, I reloaded the fight with Marcus like 9 times just to save Isobel, not for her though I didn't care about her at the time, but for them. I'd defend them with my life. Like I can't describe the fear I felt when I learned that Rolan left the inn, like my reckless son better be safe or I'm quitting the game. And then the rage I felt when I found him in the wizard's tower but his face looked bruised, like whoever did this to him, their days were numbered. No one hurts my baby like that. And then I saw Dammon and Alfira around the city and I was so happy they were safe and building good lives for themselves.
Back to the companions, I was surprised that you couldn't talk to the tiefling refugees as Halsin. I don't understand why tbh. He took them in and let them stay at the grove, sure he left for a while and left Kagha in charge which led to the whole problem but it's not like he was to blame for that, he wasn't there and he stopped the ritual as soon as he got back. Unless I missed something, I really don't understand. Also, he's another character that suffered from a short story, one that felt more like a side quest even and after that, he was just there... But I'm glad I had a chance to have my big cuddly bear elf man who loves ducks and honey around (also his lines after the romance are just perfect. I love him so much).
And lastly, Lae'zel. I don't really have that much to say about her since I've only used her a couple of times for her personal quest. Although, I admit I didn't expect her to make such little fuss about opposing Vlaakith. Although that was probably all for nothing since I accidentally doomed her people to following a false queen by siding with the Emperor. In my defense, the Emperor was protecting me the entire time, I barely knew anything about Orpheus and the Emperor, despite the concealed truths here and there, wasn't entirely bad. He didn't stab me in the back in the end or force me to do anything bad AND if it weren't for the Emperor someone from the party would've had to become a mind flayer so idk... I wish there was a way to keep the Emperor and rescue Orpheus but oh well... Also, the idea that Balduran was fighting to protect the city even though no one really knew that was cool. (also, I made the mistake of making my Guardian really pretty so I couldn't bring myself to betray him even after he showed his true colors. I blame the option to hug him for this. I only wish he could've kept that look around me...)
All in all, I really enjoyed the game. Act 2 was probably my favorite. Will start my 2nd run tonight, excited to see the Drow reactivity they talked about since the elf was just there, just some person lol
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i watched the new episode of the owl house . i am not okay (spoilers under the cut)
-opening scene broke me just as much as it did at the end of season 2
-CAMILA SOBBING WHILE HOLIDING LUZ WAHHHH
-gus using magic to help with chores slay
-luz and hunter my traumatized babies :(
-“who knows if we will ever figure that out” luz ur such a bad liar
-camila just taking them all in and saying they’re safe 😭😭😭
-GUS FREAKING OUT OVER HUMAN STUFF AS WE DESERVE
-AMITY AND WILLOW BREAKING THE ALARM CLOCK LMAO PLS
-this intro is so cute that has to be noted
-i’m excited for willow’s photographer era i need her to be a vsco girl
-THEYRE PRACTICING SPANISH 🥺
-camila is a milf idc she has style
-making fun of duolingo pls
-“i never expected to be a mother of six”
-their new fits SLAYYYY
-amity being worried that “camila can’t take care of them forever” makes me so :(((
-they’re all besties they’re found family i’m crying
-luz’s main character moment in class is kinda making me giggle ngl why is she standing on a desk <- it’s because she’s traumatized
-camila wishing she could make them “demon food” wahhhh
-the deer that wasn’t a deer…
-hunter sewing and loving wolves and being happy and having a real smile and gus saying it’s good to see you happy and “one of us might as well be” and i’m gonna die
-“humans like spreading their junk everywhere” LMAO SO TRUE GUS
-gus’ nerd shrine <3
-the fact they basically added two beds to luz’s room for the girls 😭 wahhhh 😭
-camila dreaming about all the times she had to defend luz and the reality check camp…… :(
-mom why aren’t you mad at me” 🥺
-luz sleeping in camila’s bed and the bi “love” bracelet and also camila in pajamas makes her more of a milf idc
-okay once again their outfits slay
-hunter being a nerd with gus pls
-“hunter i don’t think the world is ready for the brave fashion choices of the year 2008” “DON’T listen to her”
-hunter’s blush when willow winks 😭
-HUNTER IS SOOO 🥺🥺🥺🥺
-aw the way they all cover their ears
-LMAO WILLOW SWEETIE THAT ISNT HUMAN MONEY
-i love how they hate giraffes so much
-vee has a crushhhhh… hehe
-masha’s pronouns on their name tag <333
-SLAY WILLOW WITH YOUR SCRAPBOOK
-the hooty and king masks i luv them
-luz and hunter why would you go down there ALONEEEEE
-let it all out hunter my special lil baby i love you :(
-AW IT WAS CAMILA’S NERD SHRINE LOL
-luz’s video diary is breaking my heart
-omg their costumes are so good wtf i wish i was that good at costumes 🙄✋🏼
-not that crazy middle aged asshole again
-BELOS WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE WBAT DO YOU MEAN HES PART OF THE HISTORY IN THIS TOWN
-the way masha definitely thinks this is a fake silly story and all the kids are ready to shit themselves bc none of it is fake
-hunter yelling at flapjack nooooo :(
-camila finding luz’s video diary
-OHHHH LUZ’S DAD LEFT HER GOOD WITCH AZURA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
-okay luz slay that magic
-this isn’t hunter i can tell this isn’t hunter this isn’t him oh my god it’s belos it’s belos i can TELL
-FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS SCENE
-these poor kids :((((((
-HE HURT FLAPJACK WHAT THE FUCK BELOS
-hunter is coming out to fight omg omg omg
-CAMILA JUMPING IN AFTER HUNTER JESUS CHRIST IM LOSING MY SHIT RN
-SHE GOT BELOS OUT OF HIM BLESS
-flapjack sacrificed himself for hunter i’m cwying :(
-camila calling hunter baby :(
-OH MY GOD WHEN LUZ WAS ABOUT TO SAY SHE HAD TO STAY AND CAMILA JUMPED IN AND SAID “TAKE YOUR MAMA TO THE DEMON REALM” I LOVE HER WORLDS BEST MOM AND I MEAN THAT
-THEYRE GOING INTO THE PORTAL SCREAM
-willow: thanks for the memories
me: fall out boy reference 😩
-vee’s gonna cover for camila that’s so cute to me
-i literally wanna sob camila is the best parent ever i love this show so much im CRYING
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Just some thoughs bc It's a love Story fucking broke me in so little time:
Fist, I would like to start with WTF??????
Now that the main point was established, we can start🙂
Max being so fucking in love with David in every fucking universe just melts my dead heart🥺
I need answers!!! I need to know what happened??? What is Rafael talking about??? What happened to mavid??? I NEED IT😭
Rafael did act like an asshole...
No one loved you like your own family.
No one got mad at you like your own family.
Shit hits
Not the "I love you. I love you. I love you" part. You really want me to go to therapy that bad???
Elyaas continues to be superior 😎
Arthur and Lance>>>>>>>>>
Rafael and Max as parents holy shit I might die right here ok bye
In the early days, Max had just stood there.
Arthur had been much younger. He would cry louder and scream bigger.
Max had stood and watched and let the boy throw his tantrums.
He had wanted David to watch.
He had wanted David to hurt.
But somewhere along the way, he had stopped.
Because it felt pointless and petty.
Having tlnd flashbacks😭😭
Fuck Jaden tbh. I feel violent impulses rn🔪🙂
“It's not a rom-com. It’s a love story,” David’s voice said. “And while rom-coms have happy endings, most love stories do not.”
Look, shooting me would be faster and it wouldn't hurt this much
At this rate I won't be alive for much longer jshsjdhdj jk, jk. I love this. I love you💙
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What an unexpected update, lol. I saw that you updated in AO3 and I had to come here to say some shit, you must hate me l always have something to say :(. Anyway, I'm thrilled realy I didn't think you're gonna continue Haven soooo, I'm gonna say that I knew from the start the baby wasnt Minho's, I was hopefully wishing he was but this a story, and what's the fun without a little drama, and plus It doesn't strain from reality for some people.
If I was her and I knew l'm carrying my toxic ex's baby I would combust myself on the spot, I think her friends and Minho contributed a lot to her not getting rid of the baby but like the end of the chapter implies it is a way for her to still be connected to Hyunjin somehow (in a shitty way, really), and I get this is fanfiction and even tho, it is like that, this's close to the real world, like how some people even knowing their exes were shit and they continue to do so, they don't get to cut ties with that kind of relationships as easily as I would Iike, and that's what MC is experiencing, the aftermath of her toxic relationship with Hyun, and a big one, a baby.
Talking about Hyunjin, I hate to see that he continues to have a relationship with Felix, it’s like a reminder that, although he’s a shitty person he still gets to be with someone, however we don’t know how their dynamic is, is Hyunjin still a bad boyfriend? He continues to cheat on his partners? Is he remorseful? Does Felix have some shame, like you’re piece of shit too, after all that happen between Hyunjin and MC does he not see the kind of person Hyun is? But that’s something that you haven’t explored yet if you continue with this series.
Continue with the main couple, I feel bad for Minho, I can see clear as a day how whipped he has been with her since the start, like he has given her all the perfect conditions in a relationship. Likeeee, if I knew my girlfriend cheated on me (technically it didn’t happen like that and he was really understanding of her, he accepted that although they get sort of together at first, they weren’t really together and that it was easy for her to run to Hyunjin at some point, obviously it happened before things get serious between Min and her but it was a shitty thing nevertheless), and got to see his partner have this baby that’s identical to his biological father I’d run and never come back (lies) I know he’s not like that. If it someone in this story that mature and loving is him, Minho, even tho, the baby is a reminder that something as an some type of infidelity happened he accepted it, he even embraced the baby as his, no one that doesn’t love his partner as much as he would do. What does make me feel bad, about the turn that the story had is she realizing that albeit she’s with him, she’s not worthy of him 😭 that broke my heart a lot, like it make question a lot of things, does she love Min? well she obviously does but she hasn’t come to terms with the fact that she has to put to an end to whatever Hyunjin grip has on her for her to be able to move on and be happy with Minho.
And then I asked myself is Minho a second option to her? like that would be really fucked up, he’s completely perfect in this series, he puts her feelings into account and works well with her, does not ask for extra things from her, except for her to love him (even tho you cannot force anyone to love you but you know what I mean) he doesn’t do it in a toxic way 😭😭😭 like I want them to be happy and if you continue with this I have to accept whatever ending you give this couple but I really think she has to work some, a lot (actually) of things and cut ties with Hyun but clearly he still is the baby’s father so she has to do it in a way that’s beneficial for her and her relationship with Minho to be able to thrive).
Obviously I’m conflicted with a lot todo things happening in here but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love this story ❣️❣️ have a great day/night and week and know that I love your writing 🥺
HAVEN. (3) -> Lee Know x Fem!Reader ( she/her pronouns )
summary: Welcome to your future, one you never could have imagined for yourself. Ever. It was only two years ago you and Minho renounced your Haven days, only to get swallowed by diapers and sleepless nights. For once, you think you're finally happy, but nonetheless, he finds you again.
words: 6k
warnings: infidelity themes, babies, no smut (sorry lol), hyunlix, violent themes (one punch is thrown), everyone is just still so toxic will they ever have any peace, if I forgot anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
a/n: Not sure how many people will like the turn this took. I don't know why this came out of me, and I don't know why I did such a huge time jump. I love this, however. This feels like an ending, but also like a stepping stone. Not sure this is over yet. ENJOY! xo
“Dada! Dada! Dada!” Is screamed from the high chair beside where you sit pulling apart pieces of banana, tossing them onto the tray for the little boy to eat.
“Baby! Baby! Baby!” Gets shouted back from the dark haired, sweater wearing figure with his back to you. Glancing over his shoulder, Minho smiles at your son, reassuring him he was still there, he was only cooking at the stove.
The house smelled of a mix of sweet and savory breakfast foods Minho had started preparing after you popped your baby in the bathtub. It was Saturday morning, which meant he had the day off- the entire weekend off, actually- leaving him with forty-eight hours to do his favorite thing. Take care of his little family.
When life shifted for the two of you, Minho wasted no time. In a week you were officially moved into his house with some help from Han and Chan, and for a year and a nine months or so, you’ve been living somewhat peacefully in your unexpected happily ever after.
Finding out you were pregnant didn’t come as much of a shock, if anything it became a nuisance. Almost like a reality check, or some type of wake up call, those two pink lines you discovered in Han’s bathroom put everything into perspective.
For nearly the entirety of the pregnancy, you were riding an unpredictable whirlwind of a rollercoaster. It was truly an unforgiving trip, one you never hope to experience ever again.
The chubby cheeks and cheesy smile that was being flashed at you this morning made it all worthwhile, however. Bringing your son into this world after debating whether or not you wanted to was the best decision you had ever made for yourself.
“Dada!” He shouts once again, with more persistence since Minho was focused on the pans in front of him. Turning back with a silly glare for the baby, your son erupts into a fit of giggles, throwing a chunk of banana onto the tiled kitchen floor to which Minho gasps.
“Not on the floor that hasn’t been washed in… forever,” Minho groans, then starts to laugh as he looks at you. Breaking off a piece of the fruit, you pop it in your own mouth and shake your head, wearing a smile.
“Someone should do something about that,” You say.
“If he’s gonna make more messes, why clean it in the first place?” Minho snickers, then focuses back on his work.
Slapping a hand on the tray, your son grabs a fistful of banana and holds it up in the air, turning you.
“Don’t even think about it,” You say gently, smizing at your son. He cracks a smile, one that squishes his cheeks and almost closes his eyes as he showed off his few tiny teeth. He was a carbon copy of his father with his round face, soft jaw, and button nose.
Every time he smiled you were reminded of where he came from, his little grin had the ability to take over his expression just like his fathers, his eyes scrunched into little half moons just the same.
“Eat your banana,” You say, watching him relax as you continue to speak kindly to him, “It is so tasty, trust me, I’ve eaten more of it.” Rolling your eyes, you take another bite and hear Minho laugh from the stove.
“There’s two more over here, want another?” He asks, peering over toward you. Outside there’s a sound of a car pulling up into the driveway.
“No thank you,” You answer vaguely, leaning forward in your chair to try to see out the kitchen window. This neighborhood was typically a quiet one, and to get to your driveway one would have to take a detour down an alleyway not many people knew about. It was extremely rare to have surprise visitors.
“Is Han coming over?” You ask, standing up, “Ah!” You raise your voice in defeat as your son jackhammers the banana to the floor, laughing with glee.
“No, he’s away this weekend,” Minho mumbles, half in the zone as he glances around to find the source of your stress. Clicking his tongue when he caught sight of the squished fruit, he sighs and chuckles. He says some cute things to the baby as you fold your arms over your chest and step over to the back door to get a good look out the window.
A dark, sapphire blue four door model of an expensive sports car was parked beside Minho’s Range Rover, a car you haven’t seen a day in your life. The windows were tinted black, shielding whoever was inside from the outside world.
“Who is it?” Minho asks from behind you. He took matters into his own hands and was now feeding the banana directly to your son, who didn’t seem to want to put up a fight. If he had Minho’s attention, he was happy as ever.
“Probably some lost jackass,” You mutter, squinting at the vehicle.
This has happened before, random people pulling into your’s, or your neighbors driveways, looking for their way across town. It wasn’t a bougie way of live where you were living, in fact it was pretty run down, but it’s perfect for your family.
“Baba, baba,” Your son babbles with a mouthful of banana, “Baaaba!”
“Shit, I didn’t make one,” You sigh, turning to the boys for a second. Minho pops another piece of fruit between the baby’s lips and nods.
“I got it,” He smiles, checking you out head to toe as he walks towards the cabinets to prepare a bottle for your son.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Your cheeks flush after he winks at you.
“Can’t help it,” He playfully rolls his eyes, scooping formula from a tin, “You’re gorgeous.”
Giggling to yourself, you bite onto your bottom lip and glance down at your pajamas that were overdue for a wash. Your hair was pulled back messily and there wasn’t a trace of makeup on your morning face, you haven’t even showered yet, the baby was clean before you. Mom life wasn’t glamorous in the slightest, yet Minho had a way of making you feel like you were a million bucks every single day.
Giving him one more happy smile, your attention is turned back outside at the sound of a car door slamming shut. Long, sleek blonde hair pulled back halfway in a tie with angry brows and eyes glaring at you in the window are walking toward the back porch steps.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Your tone falls disgustingly bitter. The smile you once wore is smacked off your expression by the grimace moving closer to your door.
At the counter, Minho tries asking you what was going on, and who had shown up, though judging by your tone he could take a wild guess and hit a bullseye.
Snatching the handle of the door, you storm out onto the porch before the dominatrix has a chance to walk up the stairs. He walked with a purpose, his shoulders slightly raised in anger.
“What the fuck do you want, Hyunjin?” You spat, your stance wide at the top of the stairs so he couldn’t get past you. Looking up at you from the ground, he drags his tongue across his bottom lip, smirking, taking in the sight before him.
It’d been three months since the last time either of you were around one another.
If it were two years ago, you’d be sweating under pressure standing here dressed like this in front of him. The person you were before Minho and your son was weak for Hyunjin, you’d be insanely flustered and would rather drop dead than let this heartthrob see you without a shower.
More than one blessing came from having your son, you were gifted the ability to no longer care what other people thought of you, especially this asshole. Your priorities were to raise and protect your son, and nurture your relationship with Minho.
Hyunjin tucks a piece of his lightened hair behind his ear and places his hands on the railings of the stairs, lifting a foot to rest it on the bottom one. You copy his stance, asserting dominance, telling him with body language that he wasn’t getting inside your home.
“Answer the question,” You mutter, sharpening your eyes.
“Not even a hello,” Hyunjin sighs, the angsty smirk still playing on his lips, “You’ve changed.”
“I haven’t heard from you in three months, you don’t deserve a hello,” You say, “What the fuck do you want, before I call the cops.”
Narrowing his glare, he cocks his head to the side and quietly says, “I want my son.”
A loud, humorless cackle of disbelief escapes you. Tossing your head backward, you sigh heavily and can’t hide the fury that manifests as a maniacal grin.
“You’re unbelievable,” You say. Hyunjin doesn’t find it as funny as you.
“I want my son,” He says a bit louder, tightening his grip on the posts.
“Then you should’ve called the judge,” You throw in his face, “Three months, Hyunjin. Thats a looot of visits to miss, you broke the fucking agreement, and now you show up without permission, which is also against the agreement, and demand me to give you my son.”
The main reason you were unsure whether or not to become a mother was staring you in the face. In fact, it had to do with both men, the one taking care of the baby inside the house as well. That night at Han’s, after feeling sick for almost an entire month, the moment those lines appeared you were distraught, your heart ripping directly in half.
Coming out of a fresh break up, the two men you were romantically tangled up with had overlapped, leaving you unsure of who the child belonged to.
Twenty minutes were spent on the bathroom floor in silent tears, but the boys in the house were too good, and knew you too well. Minho sat outside the door, waiting patiently, asking you every now and again if you were alright and if you’d open the door for him when you were ready.
Around the fifth time he asked, once you’d exhausted yourself with sobs, you pulled the doorknob and popped the door open a crack. Minho stepped inside carefully, pouting at the sight of you curled up in a ball on the floor. He sat down next to you, held out his hand for you to hold and let you tell him what was going on at your own pace. From the very first moment, Minho was nothing but supportive, respectful and loving. He stepped up and took on the role Hyunjin didn’t want even though there was a chance the child wasn’t his.
A couple of months into your pregnancy you were able to find out who was responsible for the little one, and Minho was on board straight away. He accompanied you to all of your appointments anyway, and you were living in his house, there wasn’t a second thought whether he’d want to help you or not.
Hyunjin was the one you had to chase. One would think if there was a fifty fifty shot that he’d be able to avoid this for the rest of his life that he’d want to take it, but it took Minho going through Han, going through Chan, going through Changbin, going through Felix to get to the bastard.
You prayed to a God you never believed in that the child was Minho’s.
You wanted to be rid of Hyunjin.
Unfortunately that wasn’t your fate, and now you were stuck dealing with him whenever he decided he wanted to be a father.
Part of you wonders if the ring Minho put on your finger after your son was born had anything to do with Hyunjin’s need to still care.
“Our lawyers alway said that if we could work it out on our own we wouldn’t need to go to court,” Hyunjin’s tone mimics a taunt, like he’s talking down to a child. It boils your blood further.
“I’m dealing with you, I have to go to court,” You grill, “My son is a year and three months old. He’s going to start recognizing who is and isn’t around.”
“That’s why I’m here,” Hyunjin shrugs, finding nothing wrong with his unannounced visit. Groaning audibly, you laugh again in sheer frustration.
“It’s damaging, Hyunjin,” You shake your head, “You coming around every few months like he’s a dog who’ll be excited to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone. He’s a baby, this shit is psychologically damaging and I won’t let it happen to my son.”
“Our son,” Hyunjin smizes, knowing those words always got under your skin. Maintaining face, you harden your glare and clench your jaw. You said what needed to be said, he wasn’t getting his hands on that baby.
From inside the house you hear your little one belly laughing, which means Hyunjin can hear him too. The smirk he wore on his lips falters at the sound. If there was anything he loathed most about this situation, it was that you ended up with Minho.
“Oh, wow, he’s actually home?” He scoffs theatrically, “Thought he took any chance he could get to go to work. I heard flirting with customers for tips doesn’t make you much.”
“You should really get your facts straight before you try to piss me off,” You say raising your brows, “Where do you get your information from? Minho hasn’t worked at the bar for like six months.” Prodding his cheek with his tongue, Hyunjin shakes his head and glances away. It was a tiny victory, stumping him when he tried to play his mind games that no longer affected you. Every time he came back, you only got stronger.
“Let me have him, I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” He says, shifting only his eyes over to you.
Grinning, you nod towards the car and say, “You even have a carseat? A crib? Bottles? Formula? Maybe a stroller?” He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him right off, “What do you even need him for? You didn’t want him!” Hyunjin slams his fists into the posts on the stairs, startling you.
“What if I want him now, dammit?!” He shouts.
You hear the door behind you open with a creak of the hinges. Keeping your glare fixed on Hyunjin, you watch with glee as his changes when he catches a glimpse of Minho over your shoulder.
“What’s going on?” Minho asks, looking down to Hyunjin with disgust.
The man at the bottom of the stairs can’t seem to put together an answer, in fact it doesn’t seem like he’s heard what Minho’s said at all.
Turning your head, you find Minho close to the door with your son in his arms. The baby was content, laying back in the nook of Minho’s elbow sucking down the bottle that he made. The sight was enough to make anyone melt.
“I don’t appreciate the noise,” Minho, though coddling a baby, appeared defensive, “Especially while there’s children present.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, knowing Minho chose those words on purpose.
“It’s ten in the fucking morning,” He says.
“Language?” Minho furrows his brows.
“Please, you live with this one,” He points to you, “She’s no fucking Mary Poppins. When did you get so soft, Min?” Titling his head to the side, Hyunjin smirks infamously, again.
“A lot changes when you become a father,” Minho narrows his eyes, “But I don’t need to explain, you already get it, don’t you?” If looks could kill, Minho would be dead on the floor.
Stepping up onto the bottom stair, Hyunjin leans forward, ready to unload his meaningless bullshit, but the passenger door of his sports car is slammed shut, gathering everyone's attention from the porch.
“Hyunjin,” Felix’s deep voice shouts, “Let’s go.” Another boy you haven’t seen in three months. Though you’ve heard from him, you text almost every other day. Not much had changed, except his hair that was now black as night. He was still tall, lanky, baby-faced Felix.
He gives you a look, a sympathetic one, as if he’s apologizing to you.
“Really?” You frown, and Felix shrugs.
“I’m sorry,” He says, giving his head a small shake, “I tried to stop this.”
“Always,” Hyunjin groans dramatically, rolling his head backward, “You always have to take her side.” Felix takes three steps closer, folding his arms.
“I do,” His tone is stern. Looking back at you, his eyes flicker to the baby for a second, then back to you. “Y’okay?” He asks, his intention meaning something deeper.
“Be a lot better if I had a warning,” You say. Closing his eyes, Felix shrugs and shakes his head again. He knows better, he should’ve called, but then again you know how Hyunjin can be when he gets something in his head. It’s inevitable.
“We weren’t coming here,” Felix mutters, sending a glare toward Hyunjin who’s grilling his boyfriend right back, “Let’s go. I told you how to go about this, this isn’t it. I’m driving us home.”
Behind you the baby coo’s, shifting himself around in Minho’s arms to look where Felix’s voice was coming from. The bottle falls from his lips, Minho catching it quick before it rolls onto the ground.
Your son lifts a finger and points toward Felix, uttering a quiet, “Who?”
Sharing a look with Minho, you take a breath and say, “That’s Felix.”
“Vee-liss,” The baby tries to repeat, making Minho chuckle. His inquisitive little eyes scan his surroundings, and once they find you he reaches out his arms. “Mama,” He coo’s.
Scooping him up you prop him on your hip and smile as he gazes around the backyard happily, taking in every sight and every sound. Watching him experience life for the first time is something unimaginable, you almost forget that there’s trash on your doorstep.
Swapping your smile for a stone cold glare, you look down at Hyunjin who’s completely enamored by your son.
Eyes as big as the moon, Hyunjin watches the little one intently, slightly smiling at every tiny move he’d make. All four of you stood in silence, letting the child have a moment.
That was a thing parents did with others- sit around and watch their babies do things. Many evenings have been spent with Chan and Han on the living room floor while your son tore apart his toy box. Nights at Haven were a thing of the past.
You keep your eyes on Hyunjin while he watches your son, keeping an indestructible barrier around your heart. A master of charisma, you wouldn’t allow him to ‘puppy dog eye’s’ his way into getting what he wants today.
Shit, that’s what gave you the very thing you hold in your arms.
“He’s beautiful,” Hyunjin whispers, not wanting to disturb the child’s admiration of nature. Sighing, you nod.
Three months ago he saw him through a car window. It was a measly glance, nothing of grandeur, happening just before Hyunjin snatched the child support agreement out of your hands to rip it in half. The day before his first birthday.
“He looks like you,” Hyunjin says, pulling his eyes away from the baby for half a second to look at you.
You scoff and pull a silly face, “Not in the slightest.”
Hyunjin makes a soft sound that warms the edges of the cold front you were projecting, a small laugh that tumbles you backward a couple of years. It was genuine, and you knew it was genuine because Felix gets him to make that sound often. At least, he used to when you’d be around them before the rapture.
Your son looks down at where the sound came from, finally acknowledging the human being a few feet in front of him, a moment you hoped wouldn’t happen.
Hyunjin gives him a smile.
Your son lifts a finger to point at him, saying, “Who?” And Hyunjins smile falters.
The light that started to pool in his eyes the second your son came out onto the porch was wiped away, like the only word your son knew how to properly say in the right context had physically hurt him.
Swallowing hard, you honestly aren’t sure what to say. Hyunjin hasn’t been a constant in his life, he didn’t have a name.
Hannie, was his Uncle Han. Channie, was his Uncle Chan. The other boys, when they came around, got silly nicknames too, but these two weren’t around ever. You never expected them to need introductions.
“Who?” Your son asks again, looking to you for instruction. Meeting his eyes, you try to take a deep breath but feel like someone has wrapped a rope around your lungs.
Hyunjin is watching with a broken heart and a longing gaze, and Minho stands behind you with his arms folded, a protective foot away. One was his father, and the other was actually his father.
Hyunjin, though he put up a believable act today, you weren’t sure if he was going to split again.
So, through your teeth, you mutter a painful, “Jinnie,” just as your son was about to ask you who this man was for the third time.
Placing one hand on your shoulder and the other over your heart, your baby looks at Hyunjin and gives him a once over. A sassy habit of his when he was around anyone unfamiliar, something he inherited from none other than Hyunjin himself.
“Chi-nny,” The baby says.
“That’s me,” Hyunjin says gently.
Breaking your gaze off of your son, you look down to him in shock that he didn’t protest the name.
“Chi-nny, well, Mama,” Your son says, his tone sad, laying his head down on your shoulder. Biting your bottom lip you avert your eyes from Hyunjin and take a grounding breath.
He remembers him.
“Time to go inside,” Minho suggests, smoothing a hand over both of your backs. Hyunjin furrows his brows.
“Why?” He asks.
Thinning your lips for a second you bob your head, “Jinnie, yell, Mama,” You repeat clearly for Hyunjin to hear.
“What!” He screws his face up in confusion, beginning to raise his voice already, proving to the toddler that Jinnie, does in fact, yell at Mama.
“He remembers you,” You shrug, pulling yourself out of the baby daddy fantasy that was minutes away from ensuing.
Hyunjin nearly gasps, “Remembers… me?”
Rolling your eyes you say, “We were in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was picking up his birthday cake, you were visiting the liquor store next door,” Hyunjin glances to the stairs, “It was the first time in a long time I’d caught you, so I tried to give you the paperwork.”
“You took it from her, ripped it to pieces and screamed in her face,” Minho adds, giving your waist a soothing squeeze, “While this one watched from the window.”
The baby in your arms turns around to look at Minho, a grin breaking out onto his chubby cheeks, “Dada,” He coo’s, holding out a hand toward him.
Hyunjin whips his head up in a flash, eyes burning into Minho’s.
“Really? Kid calls you Dada?” He spats, “I’m half of him, and I get Jinnie?”
“Hyunjin,” Felix states, taking three more steps toward the stairs, “Let’s… go.”
The blonde takes a step, getting closer as he rises on the stairs. Behind you, Minho pulls you aside, taking your place at the top of the staircase. His arms fan out to hold onto the railings in case Hyunjin tried to slip through.
“You don’t deserve that title,” Minho grills, narrowing his eyes, “And last time I checked, you aren’t listed on the birth certificate, did you forget about that?”
Hyunjin shoots you a chilling glare that’s broken in more ways than one.
Your son watches his father with caution, observing his behavior while cuddling up on your shoulder. Cradling the back of his head, you look over to Felix and plead him with your eyes to take Hyunjin away.
If anyone could remember what happened the last time these two went nose to nose, they’d want to end this as fast as possible.
Felix nods, dropping his arms to his side.
“Did you forget the kid’s a product of her cheating on you?” Hyunjin’s expression breaks out into a grin, making him seem proud, “Remember that?” He takes another step up the porch, and just before he’s eye level with Minho, who’s temper was rising by the millisecond, Felix is grabbing onto Hyunjin’s wrist.
Minho’s grip on the railings relaxes, color returning to his knuckles as he says, “You’ve gone soft, Jinnie,” Teasing him with his own words, letting the nickname hit him where it hurts, “Felix wear the pants now?” He says while Felix pulls Hyunjin down to the grass, giving Minho a look in the process.
“Minho,” You whisper harshly. Felix has done plenty for you since your son came into the picture, there was no need to talk down to him.
“Sorry, Lix,” Minho says softly, shaking his head.
The lanky boy locking Hyunjin under his arm is about to open his mouth until a car whizzing down your street takes the scene. It comes to a screeching stop at your curb.
“Oh, wonderful,” Hyunjin chuckles.
The car door slams shut behind an angry Chan walking up your lawn. Felix sighs in exhaustion, or frustration. Probably both.
“We’re leaving,” He raises his voice, holding a hand up to Chan, waving a white flag.
“You called Chan?” You whisper to Minho who gives you a smirk.
“Damn right you’re leaving,” Chan says, puffing his chest, stopping beside Hyunjin and Felix’s car.
Your son squirms in your arms, sitting up tall to shout, “ANNIE!”
He catches Hyunjin’s attention once more. Submissive in Felix’s grip while his boyfriend defends him, his gaze softens immensely, sending a shattering crack through the walls you’ve put up around you and your family.
Stumbling over his own feet as Felix guides him to the car, he’s acting like it’s going to be the last time he sees his son. Chan and Minho’s voices are ineffective, he can’t hear a thing they’re saying and neither can you.
Your little one digs his fingers into your arm, agitated by the scene ensuing around him.
“Let me get the door for ya,” Chan snickers, yanking the passenger door of the sports car open. Felix avoids eye contact, letting the bullets in the form of words rain down over them both.
Hyunjin grips onto the edge of the door, resisting Felix’s attempt to sit him down. He frowns, his lips pulling downward in a way they would before he’d cry.
Your son would make the same face.
Felix mutters something to him only the two can hear, and Chan, probably begging him to get in the car so he could avoid a physical end to this story.
“Need some help?” Chan questions sarcastically, rounding the door to grab onto Hyunjin’s arms, yanking them off of the door.
Hyunjin retaliates, tearing his eyes off of the baby, pushing Chan away on the chest. Then the Hyunjin you’ve come to know makes an appearance. Throwing a hand backward in form of a fist, he launches it at Chan, aiming for his jaw, but the Aussie catches it instead, jutting backward the slightest.
Flinching, Felix groans audibly and shoves Chan backward himself with his hip.
“Fuck off!” He shouts at him, “Chan, fuck off!”
Holding his hands up, Chan smirks and takes two steps back.
“I like this Felix,” He says, “Control your man, yeah? You leave my family alone.”
Shaking his head, Felix finally gets Hyunjin into the car, slamming the door shut. He doesn’t say anything to Chan, nor to Minho. Instead, as he rounds the car he gives you a wave and gets inside.
“Bye!” Chan shouts happily, slapping the top of the car twice as it starts to back down the driveway.
The three and a half of you are quiet as you watch the shiny blue car disappear down the street.
A lump manifests in your throat, one that threatens to bring tears to your eyes. Your son, the very being who you swore to protect was experiencing his first moment of grief. And it was for you, of all people, because of his estranged biological father.
There’s a soft babble from your hip, the little one humming a few noises without care, happy the world around him was quiet once more. Taking a look at him he’s focused on you, gazing up with a look that resembles admiration.
He sits himself up properly, holding onto your shoulder with both hands, and smiles.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper to him, giving a smile in return.
Down on the lawn Chan was starting his way up the stairs, brushing his hands together, muttering, “He didn’t touch you did he?” to whoever was listening. Minho, shaking his head, extends a hand to shake one of Chan’s, and begins to explain the situation to him, gesturing toward you a couple of times.
“Maaama,” Your son says softly, bouncing twice, kicking his feet.
“Baaaby,” You sing, dipping your chin down to kiss his squishy cheek. He giggles, shying away for half of a second before he throws himself onto your chest, nuzzling his head against you with the cutest coo.
This is when the tears spill, overwhelming you to the point of a sudden, sharp breath.
Minho whips his head in your direction, eyes wide, Chan glancing your way as well.
“I’m okay,” You mumble, nodding your head a couple of times as the boys hurry to your side. Minho slides an arm over your shoulder, placing his hand on the back of your neck.
Massaging his fingers into your skin, he watches you calm yourself down, then says, “We can do something about this,” He sends a glance to Chan, “We can call our lawyer, see what we can do, or we can call the cops.”
“Yeah, he can’t get away with this,” Chan’s brows are furrowed deep into his eyes, “Disrupting your life unannounced is wrong in the first place, but he broke a contract. You guys could sue, probably.”
Minho swipes his thumb beneath your eyes, brushing away your tears. Falling quiet, he studies you, taking you in, not saying another word until you made up your mind.
You parented your son together, you made decisions together, you were raising him together, you loved him together, however, when it came down to the court, the agreements, the paperwork, the lawyers, the judges… Minho left a majority of that up to you. He shared his opinions and his feelings of course, to which you listened at full attention, taking them into consideration always, making sure he felt as involved as possible.
Minho was your son's father, he was your son's caregiver, he was the one who stayed, the one who stepped up when you could’ve been left with absolutely nothing.
But, one day your son is going to ask why he doesn’t look like him. He’s going to go to school and learn about families and wonder why his friends have simpler family tree’s than him. When he meets new doctors, new people, and has to go over family history he can’t tell them about Minho’s, he doesn’t share an ounce of his DNA.
He’s going to ask questions. He's going to be curious. Knowing yourself, and Hyunjin, the son you shared was going to be a nosey little jerk at some point in time, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to cut off the source or not.
Looking at Minho now, shifting over to Chan momentarily, you can tell the two of them are ready to take action. They want to ruin him, finally put an end to the reign of terror, snuff out the darkness before your little one gains enough consciousness to know it’s even there.
“I can call whoever you want me to call,” Minho says quietly.
Parting your lips, hesitating for a moment, Minho perks a brow, on alert, until your voice paralyzes him.
“No,” You whisper. Your fiancé and best friend are stumped.
Your son has gone quiet, his chest rising and falling heavily against yours, being lulled to sleep by the sound of the birds chirping around you.
“No?” Chan says when he realizes neither of you were going to say much else, looking between you both in disbelief. Minho’s defeated eyes drop down the top of the baby's head. “You’re crying,” He gestures to you, then to Minho, “You’re furious,” He scoffs, “I’m pissed as fuck ‘cause I had to see his face, and now you’re not gonna do a thing about it?”
Taking a deep breath, focused on Minho, you give your head a slight shake, “No.”
“Honestly, what the…” Chan steps backward, dragging his fingers through his dark curls, “You could make money here, you could be done with him, like done with him for real this time, and you’re not gonna do anything-”
“Chan,” Minho snaps. Dropping his hands at his sides Chan turns and sighs. A thousand different things he could say flash through his expression before he even opens his mouth.
“Are you really not going to do anything?” He asks Minho, pausing between statements, emphasizing his frustration, “You’re going to move past this like it never happened? So that it can happen again? And again?”
Swallowing hard, the lump in your throat is back.
“I know you, and I know why you won’t open your mouth,” Chan grills, shooting you a look before he focuses back on Minho, “You’ve got everything you’ve always wanted and more. But, he’s still got his claws in deep.”
“Oh my god,” You groan, rolling your eyes. Tipping your chin up a bit so you don’t have to look at either of them, you let a few tears slip down your cheeks. “Chan, shut up.”
“I’m just saying,” The Aussie shrugs, “To both of you even, it’s been well over a year, longer than that, and he is still messing with you guys.”
“I had his baby,” You sneer, glaring at him, eyes stinging. Sucking in a deep breath you continue, “Maybe it was a stupid decision, maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly because he still has his claws in deep, maybe I was worried this would be my only chance to be a mom, maybe I was pushing a boundary to see if the people who say they love me would stay-“
“You do a lot of that,” Chan nods, clenching his jaw, his own tears welling in his eyes. Minho points his eyes to the baby on your chest again, allowing you and Chan to hash this out yourselves.
Minho wouldn’t be here if he didn’t already know how you were. That was one thing none of your friends could get through their heads.
The realization that you and Hyunjin were one of the same.
Unable to let go of one another, unable to cut the cord, like a couple of sadistic addicts that fed on the drama, that needed it to live.
It appeared in both of your lives differently, Hyunjin’s lying on the forefront for the world to see, while yours lied beneath the surface, a trauma in your subconscious fueling this desire you unknowingly led your life with.
Seemingly enough, you both ended up with someone willing to set your issues aside and put up with them… Or, ignore them, and accept them because they loved you so deeply.
From the day Felix fell into Hyunjin’s trap you couldn’t begin to ever wonder why someone so innocent, someone so sweet with so much going for them would settle for a monster that would bring them nothing but stress.
After what’s just occurred today, and what has happened in the past, you meet Minho’s eyes here on the porch, holding onto a baby that wasn’t his, while wearing a ring he slipped onto your finger, and you wonder the same thing.
How did someone so sweet, with so much understanding, with so much talent, and so much going for them… How did he end up here with you?
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