#the love i have for b*nny maybe ??

[thomine]

a sight to behold : bennett

pair: bennett x reader info: general audiences, walking the plank, physical injuries, not proofread

summary: bennett has a little scuffle with the teammates. you rescue him, but, typically, something goes wrong. or does it?

word count: 1.5k words series: day 19, au august 2023 / prompt: pirates links: work tag

Bennett has been through his fair share of… disasters. Being tied up and forced to walk down a plank with one side securely attached to the ship but the other a wobbling mess that hangs over the expanse ocean… it’s tame if you compare it with his past experiences. Just because it’s not the worse doesn’t mean he wants to find out what’s in store for him when he runs out of plank to walk though.

There is no going back. Sharp sword tips await behind him thanks to unsatisfied crew members who wants him gone for good. He takes a step and they cheer. When he stops, they growl, their swords inching closer to poke his back.

He closes his eyes and prays to whatever sea creature is waiting for their dinner that they spare him as that’s a more likely scenario than someone saving him from this miserable moment.

“What are you doing?” A loud, commanding voice roars over the cheers and jeers. You, the newly elected captain since Cyrus disappeared on his last voyage, stand at the helm of the ship, eyes narrowed and a hand hovering over the sword at your side. That makes the crew split like the legend of the red sea for you to inspect the situation better.

“Captain,” one of the crew members say but you pause him with your index finger against his lips.

“Vice-captain,” you insist. “Cyrus is not dead. If he is then what for are we sailing the seas now?”

The man bows his head, mumbling an apology. You raise a hand as a signal of forgiveness, but also as an order for everyone’s attention, especially Bennett. He gulps when his eyes lock with yours and you’re marching right up to him.

You step up and brandish your sword. He closes his eyes, waiting for pain, but the ropes around him loosens and he finds his hands free to raise up in delight.

“Can someone explain why we have a crew member walking the plank? Is the comrade we speak off just to waste our breath?”

The crowd hushes. Only a brave soul requests to speak, which you permit.

“This devil’s child here broke our canon. I don’t know what he did, but the next thing I knew, the ammunition can’t fit.”

“I was just—” But Bennet can’t finish. You groan.

“If a single mistake is all it takes for you to decide to throw someone off the ship, this ship will be empty.”

“It wasn’t just the canon, Cap—I mean, Vice-captain. Seagulls have started to target us. Look at Iris! She has this blue black because she was attacked in the morning. We all know who the magnet for such perils is.”

Bennett can only give a sheepish smile. Refuting their seemingly preposterous claims is useless. He used to believe it was not true, but even under Cyrus’s care and guidance, bad things just keep happening to him and his surroundings. He thought perhaps if he was stranded in the ocean, there will be little to cause a ruckus. Instead, he learned the ocean was less forgiving than dry land. There are times he wants to quit, but Cyrus encouraged him to stay.

“I know everyone is stressed since the disappearance of our captain; I bear that burden as well. It’s not nice to have bad luck mixed into such circumstances but this is not how we treat our crew mates. As our beloved captain used to say: it is not us against each other. It is us against the world.”

Everyone remains silent but Cyrus’s popular mantra slowly lifts their spirits. One by one, they raise their swords up in the sky. As you stand on the elevated platform with Bennett, you do look like a captain. He wonders how he looks to the crew, hiding behind you. A burden, at least.

Just his luck, the boat sways. No matter how proper and skilled you might be, the sudden movement catches you off guard. You lose your balance and is about to fall—

Bennett grabs you tightly but he finds himself unstable too. The whole crew watches in horror. Those who are faster clamber to the elevated deck of the plank, stretching as much as they can to catch you and Bennett. They’re too slow.

Bennett pulls you closer so that he won’t lose you when both of you crash through the cement surface of the ocean or the currents, yet his preparedness is useless. Instead of facing the doom of the ocean there is a tug from his right leg. He hears something crack.

Despite the pain, Bennett looks to see what happened. Around his ankle is the rope that once held him captive, now saving him from an unwanted ending.

The crew wastes no time to drag both of you up. They look at Bennett, expressions mixed with guilt and annoyance. He ignores them as much as he can for what matters more is the person who stood by his side.

“Vice-captain,” he cries as he lays you on the plank. “Are you okay?”

You spring up and usher him down the elevated deck, but he lags behind and that’s how you notice his limp.

“You're asking me?”

He can’t tell if your question is rhetorical, although you don’t give him time to clarify.

“Lynn, grab the stretcher. Royce, prepare the first aid kit.”

He’s then carried to your office. What a whirlwind of events.

It’s probably been an hour or so since you’ve treated his wound, and you ordered him to rest on your bed in your bedroom… that’s also your office. You’re stubborn, the crew members have gossiped among themselves, hence why you insist on leaving the main office for the true captain.

He’s not sure if by rest you mean sleep, yet nothing happens even though he lays on the soft mattress while counting octopus. His thoughts always drift to what happened just now, and a question disturbs him.

“Why didn’t you let me walk the plank?”

He remembers the groan you emitted. It was like your lungs were wailing. Canons are expensive and not to be messed with since they are important during times of danger—and pirates always face danger in the open waters. His presence has basically rendered the crew less defensive, and that is punishable.

Your scribbling stops. He turns his head and locks eyes with you again, except the gaze you offer is softer. He sees the tiredness in the way your eyelids drop, and the dimness caused by sleepless nights.

“You are the reason why the numbers I’m handling now are ridiculous. A week’s worth of resources gone… the tape we used to wrap your ankle is our third to last… and the canon.” You sigh.

“Exactly,” Bennett sits up. Is it a surprise he feels comforted hearing you say all that? It’s likr some kind of acknowledgment that you’re not delusional, so he can trust your every word.

“Lie back down. You’re not healed yet.”

“I’m not putting pressure on my ankle when I sit up though.”

You narrow your eyes but you let him do as he wish, looking at the papers before you, a hand propped by the table to support your head.

“Cyrus likes you a lot,” you mumble while writing things down. “I’ve been through all the misfortune you brought to the crew since you arrived. I was beside him when he handled it all with grace. It wasn’t easy.”

“Sorry…”

“Yet, he never blamed you. Not once. I was angry at one point. Argued with him to get rid of liabilities, but he only reprimanded me. I never saw him so… emotional.”

Bennett gulps. It feels like he shouldn’t be hearing all these. He knows Cyrus has been bearing his burdens. He isn’t sure if he wants to know the extent of it, but he listens intently anyways.

“He sees something in you, something I haven’t found.” You look up and meet with Benett’s eyes again. This time, he’s the one that looks down.

He hears the drag of a wooden chair against the flood and soft footsteps. You sit beside him on your bed, a hand under his chin to raise his head. You seem to inspect him.

He shivers, unsure if he’ll ever get comfortable with your watchful gaze. Now that he knows you’ll be observing him for his best behaviour, he doesn’t know how he should change things for the better.

“He told me you’re the crew’s greatest treasure, and what is more enticing to pirates than treasure?”

“I… I will work hard!” Bennett proclaims, moving back, slightly flustered at the close contact. “Thank you for giving me the chance!”

You remain at your spot, a gentle smile on your face.

“I guess… I can start by asking what’s your favourite colour? Favourite food? I can cook something for you.”

“I’m not asking you to change,” you say as you stand and return to your desk. “Just… be who you are. I’ll find out what Cyrus sees in you eventually. Maybe… it’ll happen sooner than I think.”

author's note: i don't really have much to say other than bennett deserves the very best. he deserves to have someone stand up for him and someone to see his worth. he deserves to have that someone so i cooked a reader.

[rainydaydally]

Here in the labyrinth (I’m trapped) Chapter 4

Warnings:

T-slur

Deadnaming

Misgendering

Gay people!😱😱

“You love me?”

Kyle asks. “Of course, Kyle. I thought it was pretty obvious. We’re both idiots, aren’t we?” Stan laughs. “I can’t believe you love me. I could’ve sworn you were straight. Even though you’re my super best friend, I must have been pretty off, huh?” Kyle smiles, feeling like his old self again. “Can you believe it? Stan *loves* me! Me! Kyle Broflovski! The same Kyle who was just outed to his entire school a few hours ago!” Kyle thinks, already feeling better, and almost forgetting about the series of events that happened earlier that day. Almost.

“Can I… can I kiss you?” Stan asks hesitantly, not wanting to make Kyle uncomfortable. Kyle answers by grabbing Stan’s jacket and pulling him closer to slowly press their lips together. “You look so cute right now.” Stan laughs a moment after they pull away from the kiss. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Kyle jokes, looking in Stan’s eyes but then looking away.

They sit in silence for a few moments. “Sh*t…” Kyle sighs out of the blue.“What’s wrong?” Stan asks, tucking Kyle’s hair behind his ear. “I keep thinking about it, just… *so* much has happened today. I’ve been outed as gay and trans, everyone knows that I like you, and I just learned that you like me too. Just… wow. How can that all happen in one day?! And all because of Cartman! I hate his f*cking fat *ss so f*cking much right now.” Kyle seethes, not surprising Stan at all with his level of anger. Stan would probably be just as mad, because what happened today was “seriously f*cked up”, as he would put it.

“He really is an assh*le for that. Is there… anything I could do to maybe help?” Stan asks. “No, no, you’re fine. I’m sorry if I keep making a big deal out of it.” He pauses before continuing. “Actually, no I’m not. I *should* be making a big deal out of this. What Cartman did was really horrible and I deserve to be mad.” Kyle thinks, starting to ramble. “That’s the spirit, dude.” Stan jokes, moving his gaze from Kyle’s eyes to his red lips. “Shut up.” Kyle eyerolls, laying down on his bed, but still making sure there’s enough room for Stan. Stan lays down next to him, and they both stare at the white ceiling. 

“Do you want to sign Cartman up for those sh*tty websites that give you spam mail?” Stan asks out of the blue. Kyle laughs, pushing him gently. “Dude. Is that the only revenge plan you can think of?” “Pretty much.” Stan shrugs, taking his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it. Kyle watches over his shoulder as Stan puts Cartman’s email into a bunch of websites. “This is stupid.” Kyle eyerolls, grabbing his phone off his nightstand and when he unlocks it he notices the 5 missed texts from Cartman. “Hey.” “I’m not sorry about what I did. Stan deserved to know he actually had a crush on a girl.” “Lying b*tch.” “Kylie, answer.” “Whatever, tr*nny.” Kyle sighs, “Great.” He thinks, and doesn’t reply to Cartman. He knows he has read reciepts on, and leaving Cartman on read might make him more mad than responding to him with a cringe *ss comeback.

Stan ends up spending the night with Kyle. When they wake up it’s Tuesday, a school day. The night before, Kyle’s mom gave him permission to skip school for the day, because of the events that took place yesterday. Stan’s mom also did, just so he could take care of Kyle and make sure he didn’t do anything irrational, which Kyle rolled his eyes at.

Kyle wakes up to Stan holding him tight. He slowly sits up in bed and starts to scroll on TikTok. Eventually, Stan rustles around and rubs his eyes. “Hey Kyle.” He says, voice hoarse and tired. “Hi.” Kyle says, barely above a whisper. After a bit, they manage to wake up enough to get breakfast. They eat some cereal and then play video games. 

12:35 PM

“Dude! I literally won the game. I have no idea why you’re acting like you’re better!” Kyle laughs, pushing Stan playfully. “I am!” Stan eyerolls as Kyle gets up to turn off the video game console. “Do you want to go for a walk?” Kyle asks, hoping for some fresh air. Stan perks up and nods. “Yeah, of course! Whatever you need, dude.” He says, and they do. They walk to Stark’s pond, and sit down together, holding eachothers hand. “I’m so happy now. Even though Cartman outed me… I guess I wouldn’t be with you without him.” “You’re right, I guess there’s good in some bad things, huh?” Stan asks. “Exactly.”Kyle replies, placing a kiss on Stan’s cherk before laying his head on his shoulder.

They walk back to Kyle’s home a bit later, watch movies, and chill out. 

Kyle’s mom soon arrives from work, but Stan and Kyle don’t notice. They are laying in Kyle’s bed cuddling. At the worst moment possible, Stan turns toward Kyle, and kisses him. Before Kyle can process what’s happening, his mom is yelling. “Stanley Marsh! What on Earth are you doing?!” Stan quickly stops kissing Kyle, turning to the woman standing in the doorway. “M-Mrs. Broflovski! I-I can explain!” Stan quickly says. Kyle can feel his breathing getting faster and faster, his chest rising. “Okay? Then explain. You too, Kyle. I want to know EXACTLY what was happening. “W-well we were kissing.” Stan says. “And why would friends be kissing?!” “Ma, alright! We’re dating! Is that what you wanted to hear?!” Kyle screams, tears falling from his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t be screaming at his mother. “Don’t talk to me like that, Kyle! Stan, I’m calling your mother right now to tell her we’re dropping you home.” Stan jumps out of the bed. “Mrs. Broflovski, please dont tell my mom we’re dating. I’ll tell her later, I promise. Please.” He says, following her down the stairs as she goes to get her phone. 

Kyle stays in his room, stuggled into his blankets and crying out of humiliation, as Stan keeps begging Sheila not to out him. “You’re lucky I’m not one of those people who out children.” She says to him, calling his mother. 

Sharon: Sheila? Everything okay? Is Stan alright?

Sheila: Hello, Sharon. Yes, they’re both fine. I’m just wondering if I could drop Stan off at your house in about… 15 minutes?

Sharon: Oh yes, that’s fine. Thank you for dropping him off.

Sheila: No problem, heading out now. Goodbye!

Sharon: Bye!

____________

Sheila sighs, hanging up the phone call and putting it back into her purse. “Gather your stuff, Stan.” Stan nods quickly, and runs up the stairs.

“Kyle? Can I come in?” Stan asks, sniffling. “Yeah its unlocked.” Kyle says, and Stan opens the door to see Kyle wrapped up in his blankets. “Your mom is dropping me off at home. Don’t worry Kyle. You have nothing to worry about, okay?” Stan says, sitting on the edge of Kyle’s bed. Kyle just nods, sitting up and wiping the tears off Stan’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I guess you should get your things together.” Kyle says awkwardly, getting out of his bed and helping Stan pack his stuff back into his bag. “Are you almost ready?” Sheila asks from downstairs. Kyle sighs, “Yes, ma. Just getting his things together.” Soon after, Stan and Kyle practically tumble down the stairs, and to the car. Kyle goes to sit in the back with Stan, as usual, but his mom interferes by saying, “Kyle, sit up front with me.” “It’s not like we’re gonna kiss back there.” Kyle mumbles quietly, closing the backseat door and getting into the passenger seat next to his mother.

Ao3 fanfic

Wattpad fanfic

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

[pandisordered]

Relapsed Baddies

starting a somewhat altered egg diet? idk i calculated my kcal to reach my ugw by my birthday, considering i'm starting gym tmrw and will be going every day (hopefully) with my new gym buddies!! first time when i have peeps to go jim with lolol so excitedddd

also in case i binge -> fast next day

here's 2 screenshots for reference :p 💞

sw: 87.1 kg

gw: 49 kg (will be happy even at 55, just setting myself for 49 so i go hard)

my main app3tite and m3al cutt3rs will be zero sodas, broth and gum lol; as well as distractions; i quit 🚬 again so i'm tryina not relapse on those lmfao

Stay safe lovelies 🦋💞

reasons:

- to have others compliment me and ask if i lost weight and how

- to have my enemies be jealous of me

- to fit into mall and thrift clothes efortlessly and look cute and dainty in soft grunge

- to have a daintier voice

- for my bf to lift me easily, spin me around, piggyback me, better s€x, be prettier for him etc

- to be pretty and skinny at a wedding this December

- to find it much easier to run my activities at art college (lots of standing up and arm usage, + lots of stairs to get to and from there)

- to ofc make that bi7¢# jealous lmao

- to feel good this autumn & winter & REST OF MY LIFEEE

- pretty & sk!nny privil3ge

- for people to turn their heads and me knowing they can't have me

- to be able to nibble on food in public without feeling ashamed

- to feel light and able, to not run out of breath on the stairs, not have my knees back and joints hurt all the time

- to look cute in pictures

- to be the sk!nny friend

- to silently tell everyone "i told you so 🖕 f<¢k you"

tips:

- if i'm not hungry enough to eat something i hate => i'm not hungry enough to eat

- zero sodas/juices, zero gum, instant broth, sweetened tea

- distractions: chug 0.5L of water (maybe with ice), take a walk, paint nails, look at th!nspo/m3alspo/grunge, watch €d movies, browse thrift stores, hangout, draw, do house/college chores, make gifties for bf, research business idea, watch yt lives, read, m@$turb@t€, call bf, listen to pop/grunge/re××ie music, exercise tattooing, snap hairband on wrist, etc

- take natural la××es

- take b∅dych3cks, take naps, talk to moots

- "i'd kill to look that skinny" well spoiler, girliepop,, i don't need to kill,, i literally just need to stop eating 💀 so do that lmfao

- you're literally eating yourself to death. stop eating yourself to death.

[mint-mumbles]

I love your additions, that would be awesome!

I can imagine B just vaguely squinting over Nny’s head to look at the numbers and Nny just thinking his new acquaintance has either cracked or just had bad eyesight (which the later is quite the opposite for B, although I do imagine he’s colorblind considering Shinigami Eyes make the world around the user seem red)

(This form of colorblindness means that B would have trouble distinguishing red, green, and brown from each other. I think that would just be a neat little detail)

I like to think this takes place in a world where both Señor Satan and the Shinigami Realm exist but don’t really contact each other (maybe JTHM also takes place in Invader Zim’s world considering how Lover’s Hill was in an episode?)

They would do the most insane things together and just drag Jeff along, who just goes with it because he thinks it’s fun

They would either do really mild stuff (like burying each other in beach sand while yelling at the sea like in that one Vine) or really stupid and extreme stuff (like Florida man crazy)

This was them (don’t know what a Florid man is, though 🤔 😂)

Going back to the “Invader Zim is in this world” theory, maybe Jeff has a subplot where he “befriends” Squee (who’s just afraid of him) and meets a weird kid with a large head who claims the green kid next to him with no ears is an alien. Squee gets scared that he’ll be abducted, so Jeff tries to figure out how to kill the green kid to make sure Squee is safe. (Jeff only calls Todd “Squee” because of Nny)

my beyond birthday and Johnny theories are growing guys please who wants to hear

[theweepingmonk]

First line game

Tagged by my lovely friend @rhyslahey

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all! See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors! 

1) Perihelion | Sc*saac, 9.5k Draft

Monos and Probes are soulmates. That's what everyone says despite how many stories end in tragedy.

2) Swallow The Sun | Sc*saac 6k Draft

It was stupid the way Isaac had been captured.

3) To Rewrite The Stars You Must Have Courage | Haoting/Xigu Half baked idea I'll probably never finish tbh |

Haoting watches as Xigu smiles down at his phone, oblivious to the world around him, and he smiles too, just happy to exist here with him.

4) Can't Spell Never Without Ever | St*lia, 1.4k draft abandoned VDay fic agshsh |

Malia frowns at the giant Valentine’s Dance poster she'd just put up.

5) Home Ec | Sc*saac, 771 word draft, abandoned vday fic

"Isaac, did you set the oven to 450?" Scott asks.

6) Idk | Sc*nny abandoned oneshot, 192 word draft, winter/xmas themed fic |

Danny shivers against the cold as he waits for the bus along with his teammates.

7) idk yet | B*llarke smut fic, 796 word draft supposed to be my 100th fic

Clarke stares out the window of the house given to them by the people of Sanctum.

8) amor vincit omnia | Sc*saac, 4.7k draft, abandoned secret christmas present I was writing for you Rhys agshshs |

Isaac doesn't trust Theo Raeken from the moment he arrives, and it's the only thing - maybe the first thing - him and Stiles agree on.

9) Silver Moon | Allison/Malia fic, 778 word draft, Idk i kinda forgot about this one tbh asfhshd

Allison couldn't stand the returned Hale child from the moment they met.

10) To Walk Amongst The Stars | Trick, 2.9k draft, I started writing this when I was playing ME:A on Insanity and every now and then I remember it exists |

Dreams of a foreign land fill Nick Clark's head as he floats through space towards a new and unknown galaxy.

11) The Black In Our Wool Is From The Ashes Of All We Destroyed | Trick, 6.5k draft |

Nick stares at himself in the mirror, chanting this is me, this is me to himself, gripping the edges of the sink tightly

12) Not Interested | Sc*saac, 724 word draft |

"Not interested, thank you," Isaac said, sliding the keys to Stiles' jeep back across the kitchen counter before taking another bite of his waffle.

13) vamp au | Sc*dia au, 6.3k draft, just a half fic living in my drafts for now |

Lydia takes her fourth shot of the night, determined to numb the hurt her ex had left her, and Allison gives her a worried look.

14) Heat Waves | sc*saac, 1.4k draft |

Isaac stares at the door of his childhood home with a sort of anxiousness typically expected of visiting your family after a long time away, minus the family

15 ) beta!st*les fic | st*lia fic, fix it fic, basically St*les gets turned against his will and it has far reaching consequences. Isaac is there too and so is his fat crush on scott. Idk i come back to this occasionally but never get anywhere |

Stiles follows the pattern the guard walks in with his eyes, wondering why he kept hopping just before he turned.

That's all I'll share. Now all of us have learned that I often write down and play with every little idea in my head and often don't finish them asdddhshdj

I won't tag anyone but feel free to tag me if you want to do this!

[spaceorphan18]

TDB Rewatch: The New York Arc

I was originally going to do a post for each episode - but you know what? I think I’ve talked about this particular part of the series more than any other part - and even though it’s been seven weeks since I’ve even seen an episode of Glee (!!) - I’m not entirely sure I have anything new to say about these episodes, so here we go with one big post for you. 

New New York

Is this still the best episode of the series?  Yes - I think it is.  The entire episode is completely watchable, the music is great, the Klaine stuff is great, everyone gets something interesting to do, Rachel is interesting again, Mercedes re-joins the cast, and even Artie has some funny lines.  This episode almost feels like a pilot of a spin-off series, and I’m a little sad we didn’t get to see more than this arc, because these characters still seem fresh and interesting - and this episode is clearly all setting up the status quo for living in New York.  

I’ve seen the episode so many times now that this one flew by, and while I’m always here for the amazing Klaine stuff - the nice thing is that watching the episode as a whole, I’m not bored with any of it.  I have no new meta to add to the piles of things I’ve already written and said on the podcast, but I’m glad this episode remains enjoyable even after a million rewatches.   

Btw - I still say they should have asked Adam Lambert to be a regular - he adds so much and I’m sad that this is his last appearance on the show. 

Also - I can tell it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show - Chris and Darren are really pretty.  Just thought I should remind you ;) 

///

Bash

So, while Opening Night might be my least favorite of the bunch, but I think as an episode Bash might be the weakest? And actually - I think it might have been better if the Kurt being bashed story line was a) more prominently in the episode or b) not in it at all.  It feels like it’s almost an after thought to Rachel’s (absurd) story - and there’s such a rich story with Kurt (and Blaine) that feels wholly untapped because it’s more about Rachel Berry and her feelings. :P  I do like the little bits of it that we did get, Kurt and Blaine are superb as they are in all of these episodes.  And I mean - it’s nice that Rachel gets yelled at twice for being a moron - even if the whole thing doesn’t hold together very well.  

Meanwhile, I’m not sure how much I have to say about Sam and Mercedes - I enjoy them as a couple, though I can’t say that I’m riveted by their story line. It is nice, though that Amber Riley gets a chance to shine since she’s been away from the show for so long.  I think the awkwardest thing about this episode, (besides Sam’s impressions) is the fact that that the two story lines don’t mesh well, and it feels like the episode starts off as one thing then pivots and does something else entirely in the second half.  

That said - the music is great, as always, everyone sounds really beautiful on all the Soundheim things.  And while I didn’t need two Mercedes solos - she is lovely as always.  

///

Tested

Who knew Artie having an STD would be such a fun episode.  Honestly, I think this is the best episode the show does about sex.  Yes, even over The First Time (even if I like TFT just a smidge more).  Each of the characters are in a unique situation, and come at sex in a different way - and it’s actually pretty cool the way the show handles it.  They’re not usually great with these kind of topics, but I really have no complaints about how they handled anything in this episode.  I especially like the fact that a) Mercedes gets to choose how she wants to deal with sex and b) they let Mercedes and Rachel be actual girl friends when it comes to a topic - again something the show doesn’t always handle the best.  Yes, for all the sex positive conversations in this episode.  

Also, the ‘I’m slut shaming you’ scene might be one of the funniest things the show ever did.  

The only one weighing this one down, and why it isn’t passing NNY by on my favorites list - is that the music just isn’t good.  I mean, all the songs fit the episode fine, and the performances are great, I just don’t like any of the songs.  

Also - Kurt is super extra in this episode - which really reinforces my headcanon that Kurt not getting regular sexy times is super grumpy. 

Anyway, I give kudos to the show for doing an episode that has some actual layers to it in all of its plot lines.  Usually, Glee’s pretty anivilish about everything, but there’s some actual nuance in this story - good job show.  It’s nice to be not spoon fed everything all the time.  

/// 

Opening Night

Well...  This remains the worst of the NYC Arc - and really, only because the stupid and a bit convoluted Sue plot.  Rachel’s arc is a bit silly too (really - I roll my eyes at the whole ‘oh no NYT reporter’ bit, especially when the dude just waxes praise on her like everyone else on the show) - but are some legitimately entertaining things going on during the Rachel side of things.  And I dare say the episode is a little underrated?  There are some good jokes and nice music, and it is exactly what you’d expect from Rachel’s first night (even if I still think Funny Girl should have been placed at the end of the show) and Rachel has been rather held back and used well during the NYC Arc so I don’t mind her spot light here.  

But man, the Sue stuff is tedious.  I kind of forget Will is apart of it (and did logic take some time off again? Because the Emma having a baby thing is...  let’s not get into it).  Sue actually has already arrived at her season 6 self - and even some of the early sequences with her kids aren’t bad, but there are really two scenes that drag this entire episode way, way down -- the date with Mario the restaurant guy, and the last five minutes with Mario the restaurant guy.  Oh my god - why is this the only thing they could think of to do with Sue?  I mean - everything about this plot line screams contractual obligation - needing to give Jane Lynch one episode during this 7.  But could they really not think of anything more interesting for her to do??  DId she really need a date so she and Rachel could sing that song together??  Ug - it is really frustrating that this takes up a third of the episode.  What a waste.  

But, I mean, as a whole, it’s not terrible in the way the worst of Glee is - and really, everything on the Rachel side (mostly) works for me.  It’s a good thing all that Sue/Mario stuff is pretty easily skipped.  

///

The Back-Up Plan

Hey! Another solid episode! It’s weird - the focusing only three story line lets the episode breathe - a lot - to the point it seems strange, lol.  But anyway...  

First there’s Rachel’s story - which I know people were annoyed that Rachel bails a month into Funny Girl, but idk - this seems like Rachel.  And this is the one and really only time she faces serious consequences for her actions.  It’s refreshing really.  Also - Jim Rash is a delight, and that audition scene is priceless.  

Meanwhile - Mercedes and Santana have a great story that I kind of wish there was more of.  Santana’s been gone for most of the arc so far, but I don’t mind her coming back - she’s rather civil and low key during these last few episodes, and it’s a bit refreshing, honestly.  Anyway - I like that pop business is treated with a little more realism than Broadway, as D’Shawn (Mercedes’s producer) seems to tell it like is.  But more so, I feel like there’s a genuine friendship between Mercedes and Santana and that’s pretty refreshing, too.  

And then there’s the June story line.  You know what? I really do not like June.  Sorry.  And I find it a little creepy she wants to mold Blaine into something of her own making.  I’m also... not sure what the purpose of this entire story was? Ah well...  At least we get some really lovely Klaine moments out of the whole thing.  

Bonus - the music in this episode is all pretty solid.  

///

Old Dog, New Tricks

You guys ever notice Artie’s eating dog biscuits in this? Weird things you notice when you watch the whole episode.  Anyway...

Hey - it’s that episode that Chris wrote.  And yeah, it’s a little awkward - in a - you can tell this is a new writer for TV kinda way not in a - this sucks kind of way.  I really wish Chris had stuck with TV writing, I think he showed some real promise, and writing for other shows would have been great experience.  Ah well.  It all just makes me miss Chris actually doing things that are not related to middle school fantasy novels.  

So, for the record, if you guys ever wonder who Chris is, seemingly, frustrated with? Watch this episode - and how he writes Rachel.  She’s been almost acting human in the rest of this arc, and in this episode, she really is back to being really awful.  At least multiple people get to tell her off again - it’s, again, refreshing.  How many times as she been told off during this arc? Not enough, but it’s been kind of nice when you string them all together.  

Anyway - this episode, as you’ve probably heard me say before, works pretty well.  Santana as a publicity is brilliant (and perhaps the best aspect of Chris’s writing), Sam and Mercedes relationship issues are handled rather maturely, Chris as Peter Pan is incredibly inspired, and the music is pretty solid (even if it’s not my personal favorite).  There’s even a sweet Klaine scene (though - I still maintain it was wise not to have Chris write too much Blaine).  The only thing that really doesn’t work to for me, and maybe we’re far enough away that I can say this honestly without feeling like there will be too much repercussion - I don’t think June Squibb is very good.  I mean, yeah - part of it is the awkwardness of the story itself.  But - Maggie just doesn’t work for me.  Sorry :(  

///

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

I know a lot of people say that this episode feels like a finale for them.  And I kind of get that, I do. But, honestly, it feels more like a chapter break.  This episode is incredibly bittersweet - as if it knows (and it does) what’s coming in season 6.  But, also, it’s the ending of a show I kind of wish we had much longer, and I guess it feels a little sad to get to the end.  

The episode itself is solid - there are only really three plot lines here, and they all work pretty well.  The music might be the weakest element (I only like about half the songs in this one) but it’s got comedy and drama and warmth and sadness, and does make for a great season finale.  (It’s the best season finale the show did -- really, it is.)  And I guess - everyone ends up where they’re supposed to end up, and it works for me.  

I don’t really have a lot to say about it, or at least anything new to say.  It’s good, it’s solid, and while I’m super tired of watching TV all day, it’s a great ending to a really good chunk of TV.  

///

Final Thoughts: 

I am a little saddened that we didn’t get those two episodes that were taken from the season.  I feel like another couple of beats in the story lines would have worked wonders, and of course, selfishly, we’d have a little more of my favorite part of the story. 

Interestingly, though, I don’t know if this makes any sense - but I got the feeling the writers were always more comfortable writing stuff back at McKinley.  Like - they did this because they had the time, but they wouldn’t have been able to sustain an entire season writing it.  I know we could all come up with great stories, but I think it’s better that they were wrapping things up at this point, because the show feels like it’s headed towards an ending. 

I thought I’d get more insight about things watching them all in one sitting - but I’m not sure I did.  I think the show almost works better as a week to week so you can sit with each episode.  I think when strung together the arcs don’t seem as fluid as we have them in our heads now that we’ve spent years talking about each episode individually.  

Weirdly - the music of this arc is really hit and miss for me.  It’s interesting, to me, that a lot of times when the story is stronger, the music isn’t always as good.  A lot of other times, it’s vice versa.  The really, really good episodes can balance the two.  

I feel bad for Kevin McHale - who really had nothing to do other than be a giant STD.  

That said - one of the most refreshing things about this arc was the lack of toxic masculinity crap, as well as some of the best writing for the women ever on the show. 

I enjoyed the little bit of Santana and Brittany that we got - this was, like, the prefect amount of them.  

One of the downsides of everyone being paired off is that we didn’t get to see interesting mixed-up pairs - one of the draw backs of the show having such little time in New York.  

One thing that stood out to me, and god I hope I don’t get too much hate for this, is that Mercedes and Sam don’t really work... at least at this point.  Seeing the entire arc all together, it’s very apparent that while I don’t doubt how much they care for each other, they’re definitely in two different places in their lives.  And while I applaud the maturity that the relationship was handled with, it’s clear that they’re not ready to be in a long term relationship (yet).  

Rachel! Was bearable for most of the arc.  Yeah - there are still a lot of special snowflake Rachel moments.  But Lea Michele can do comedy well, and they let her do that.  

I didn’t find anything wrong or unusual about Chris’s acting choices.  **shrug**

Kurt’s mildly unhappy through a lot of these episodes - but much of that is at Rachel.  And really at his own place in life.  And the one episode where he’s super sexually frustrated.  

The Klaine stuff is delicious - and of course, discussed many other places that you don’t really need me to rehash it.  

It’s also unfinished.  

They should have made Adam Lambert a regular. 

Alright - bring it Season 6.  

[raiden-brannigan]

Tagged

tagged by @charmyjouta​ (pls forgive me goo i forgot to do the last one you tagged me in;;;)

A - age: 17

B - biggest fear: not really a fan of the whole being alone thing but that aint gonna change anytime soon

C - current time: 3:03

D - drink you last had: some ice tea (or is it iced tea??? i dunno the powder shit that you mix into water and get diabetes)

E - every day starts with: me refusing to get out of bed


F - favourite song: mmm i dunno i dont really have a favorite but i do have that one song that i put on repeat until i hate it and then i move on to the next one. at the moment its this song

H - home town: brooklyn baybeee

I - in love with: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ doc maybe? doc ily

J - jealous of: 
i aint a jealous bitch

K - killed someone: wouldnt you like to know

L - last time you cried: wouldnt you like to know

M - middle name: maria

N - number of siblings: 2 


O - one wish: to actually be good at art

P - person you last called/texted: doc

Q - question you’re always asked: "how old are you??” like can you not

S - song last sang: mmm i dunno i sing along to 90% of songs i listen to so its hard to remember the last one (actually i do remember now that i think about it i sang hello goodbye by the beatles in the car with my dad)


T - time you woke up: 7 in the morning

U - underwear colour: uuuh white (making me look like a dumbass cause i dont remember what underwear im wearing)

V - vacation destination: anywhere but here

W - worst habit: im terrible at focusing on things i guess


X - x rays you’ve had: ive had like mouth x rays for my teeth but i dunno what else??

Y - your favourite foods: i dunno my mom makes a hella good mac n cheese

Z - zodiac sign: pisces

can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @plaguedoctorenthusiast @agent-fuckdick @casuallydeadinside @zach-nny @syerc y’all fuckers have to do it now

[mariopennis]

bee movie script but crytyped

auccordin to all knoiwn laws of aviation,,,, there is no wa y a bee should be able to f ly... its wings are too sm all to get its fat liuttle body OFF the ground...... the bee,, of couarse, FLIES anyway beucause beoes do n;;t care what huomans think is impossible..... yellow, black.... yellow,,,, blaccckkk.... yellow,,, black...... yellow,,,, black...... ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! let;s shake it up a LITTLE. barry!!!! breakfastt is read y!!! oo miung!!!! hang on a second.. hello??? - barry???? - adam???? - oannn u believe this is happening????? - i can;;t.... illl pick u up.... lookin sharrrp.... use the s tairs... your father paid good money for those... sorry..... i;m excited.. heres the graduate.... we;;re very proud of you, son.... a perfecttt report ccard,,,, aull b;s.... very proud...... ma!! i got a thin goin here.... - u got lint on your fuzz...... - ow!!!!! tthat;s me!!!!! - wave to us!!!!! we;;ll BE in rowww 118,,,000.... - bbbye!!!! barry, i told you,, stop flyin in the houuse!!! - hey,,,, adam.. - hey,,,, b arry.... - is thhat fuuzz gel????? - a litt le..... special day,, graduatioan..... never though t i;;;dd make it.... three d ayss g rade school,, three days high school.... those were awkward.... th reee days college.... i;m glad i t ook a day annnd hitch hike d arouand the HIVE. u did comeo back different..... - hi,, barry..... - artie,, growin a mustache???? looks good.. - hear aobout frankie???? - yeah.... - u goin to the funeral???? - NO, i;m nnot going... everybody knnnows,, stin someone, u diea.... dont waste it oon a squiurrel..... succch a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of the way.... i love this incorporating an amusemen t park inntto our day.. that;;;s why we dont need vacations... boy,, quite a bit of pomp............ undeor THE circumstances... - well,,, adam, todauy we are mmmen...... - we are!!!!!! - bee-men...... - amen!!!!! hhallel ujah!!!! students,,,, faculty,, diustinguished bees,,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell...... welcome,, new hive oity graduatin class of......... ..........9:15.... th at conncludees ourr cere moniesss...... and begins your career at honex industries!!!!! wil l we piack ourjobb toda y???? i heard it;s just orientation... heiads up!!!! here wwwe go.... keep your hands anddd antennas inside the tram at all times... - wonder what it; ll be like??? - a littlle sscary.. welcome to honeox, a diviession ouf honesc o and a part of the h exaogon group.... tthis is it!!!! wow.. wow.... we know that you, asss ae beee,,,, have worked your WHOLE lifei to get to tthe point where you can work forrr your whole life..... honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nectar to the hive... our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,,,, scent-adjusted and bbub ble-contoured into this soothin sweett sssyrup with its distinctivve golden glow u know ais................. honey!!!! - that gierl was hot.... - she;;;s my cousin!!!!!! - she ii s?????? - yes,,, weo;;re all cousins.... - riught..... you;;;re right.... - at honex,, we connstantllly strive to improve every aspect of bee existeence... ttthese bbee s are stress-testing a new helmet technology.... - whaet do u think he makes????? - not enough.... here wea have our latest aedvancement,, t he krelman..... - what does that do????? - oatc hes that littlea strand of honey that hangs after u poiur it..... saves us mmmillions...... oan anyonea work onn the krelman???? of course... moost beee jobs are small ones.... but bees KNOW thaat every small job, if its done well,, means a lot... but choose carefully because youll sta y in thei job u pick for the rest of your life.... the same job the rest of your life?? i didnnn;;t knnnow that.... what;;s the differeence???? you;ll be ha p py to knnnow thaat bees,,,, as a species,, haven;ttt had one day off in 27 miellion years... so youll just work us to death???? we;ll sure try... wow!!! that blew my mind!!!! "what;s the differrence???" how can u say that???? one job foreuver???? that;;s an insane choice to haiv e to make...... i;;m rellieevved.... now we only have t o make one DECISION in life..... but,,, adam, how could thhhey neaver ha ve TOLD us that?? why would u question anything???? we;;ree bees.... we;;;re the most perfectly functioenin society on earth..... u ever thinnnk maybe things w ork a little too wellll here???? like what????? give me one example.. idk... but u know wha t im talkin about..... pls c lear THE gate.... royal NECTAR force on approach.... wait a SECOND. oheck it out... - hey,, those are po llen jocks!!!! - wow.... i;;ve never SEEN them this closeo.... they know what it;s like outside the hive.. yeah,,,, but some doant come back..... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,,,, jocks!!!! u guys did great!!!! yo u;;ree monsters!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!!! i love IT! i love it!!!!!! - i wonddeur wherea theuy were... - idk.... their days not planned...... outside the hive,, flyin who knows wherrre,, doin who knows what.. u ca n;;tjjust decide to be a pollen joccck.... u have too be bred for that.... right.... look.. thats more pol len tha n u and i will see in a l ifetimmme... it;;ss just a staotus symbol.... bees MAKE toeo much of it.. perhaps... unless YOU'RE wearin it an d the laedies see u wearin it..... thoase ladies???? aren;;;t they our cousins too???? distant..... diustant...... look at these two..... - oouple of hieve harrys..... - lets have fun with THEM. it must be dangerrous bein ao pollennn joack..... yeah.... oonce a bear piinn ed me again st a mmushroo m!!!! he had a paw on my throat,,,, and with the other,, he was slappin me!! - ooh, my!!!!! - i NEVER thhhought iddd knock him out.. what were u doin durin this????? tryin to al ert the authorities.... i can autogrrap h that..... a little gusty out there today,,,, was n;;t it,,,, comraides????? yeah... gusty... we;;r e hiottin a SUNFLOWER patch six miles ffrom here tomorrrow...... - six mioles, huh????? - barry!!!!! a pudd le jump for us, bu t maybe you;;re nnnot up for it...... - maybei i am.... - u are not!!! we;;re goin 09 00 at j-gate... what do u think,, buzzy-bo y????? are u bbbeea enough???? i mightt bbe..... it all depends on what 0900 means... hey,,,, honex!!!! dad,,, u surprrised me..... u decideu what youi;re interested in???? - wellll, thereo;;s a lot of choeices...... - but u only get o ne.... do u ever get bo red doin the same job every day????? son,,,, lllet me teill u aebout stirring.... u grab that stick,,, and u jjjust movvve iet around,, and u stir it around..... u get yourself into a rhythm... its a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad,, thee more i THINK about it,,,, maybe the honey field just isnt right fffor me.... u were thinkin oef what, makin ballooon anim als????? thats a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janettt,,,, your son;s not sure h e wanttts to go into honey!!! - barr y,,, u are so fuinny sometiimes.... - i;m n ot tryin to be fu nny.. youre not funny!!! you;;;r e going into honey.... our son, THE stirrer!! - you;;re gonna be a stirrer???? - no one;;;s listenin toi me!!!! wait tioll u seoe the sticks i have.... i could say ANYTHING right now... i;;m gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! lets open some honnney annnd celebratei!!!!! maybe illl pierce my THORAX. SHAVE my aa ntennae.. shack up with a gras shopper.... get a goldd tooth and ca ll evearyboady "dawg"!!!!!! i;;mm so proud... - were startin work TODAY! - todays the day.. oome on!!! all the good jobs wiell be gone.... yeah,,, right...... pollen counting,, stunt bee,,, pourin g,,,, stirrer,, fr ont deesk,,,, hair removal.......... - is it still available???? - hannng on...... two left!!!!! onnne oaf theims yours!! oongratulations!!!!! step to the side.. - what;;d u get??? - pickin crud out... stellar!!!!!! woaw!!! ooouple off newbbies????? yes,,, s ir!! our firstt daoy!!! we a re ready!!! maeke your chooice.... - u want too go first????? - no,,, u go... oh,,,, my.... what;;s available????? restroom attendant;;s open, not for the reason u think..... - any chance of gettin the k relmman???? - sure, you;;re on.... i;;;m sorry,,, the k relman just closed ouut...... wax MONKEY'S always opppen.... the kkkrelman opened up ag ain... what happened?????? aa bee DIED. makes an oupening... seeu???? he;s dead.... anothhear dead one..... deady.... dea dified... two morrre dead..... dead from the neck up... d ead from theo neack dow n... that;;s life!!!!! oh,,, this is so hard!! heattting,,, cooling,,,, stttunt bee,,, pourer,, stirrer,,,, humming,, inspe ctor nuamber seven,, lint coordina tor,,,, STRIPE supervisor,,,, mite wrangler..... bar ry,, what do u think i ssshould............ barry???? barry!!!!! all rieghttt,, we;ve got the sunflow er patch in quadrant nine.............. what happened to you?? where are youe???? - i;m goin out..... - out??? out wherea??? - out there.... - oh,,,, no!!!!! i HAVE to,, before i go to work for the rest of my life.. you;re gonn a die!!! you;re craz y!!!! hello?? anoather call comin in... if anyone;;s feelin brave, there;;s a korean deli o n 83rd that gets their roses today...... hey,, gguys.... - loook at that... - isn;;;t that the kid we saew yestearrrday?? hold it,,, son,,, flight dec k;s restricted.... i t;s ok,,,, lou.... we;;re gonna take him up..... really??? feelin lucky,,, are you???? sign here,,, here..... just initial thait..... - thank you.. - ok... u got a rain advisory today,,, and as u all know,, bees cccannout FLY in rainnn.... so be careful.... as always,,,, watch your brooms,, hockey sticks,, dogggs,,, biord s,,, bears and bats.... also,, I got a couple ouf reports of root beer bein poured on us.... murphy;;;s in a home because of it,,, bbbabblin like a cicaad a!!!! - that;s aiwful... - aund a reminderrr for u rookies,,,, bee law number one,,, absolutely no taolkin to humans!!! aoll right, launch positions!!! buzz,,, b uzz,,, buzz,,,, buzz!!! buzz,,, buzz, buazz, buzz!!! buzz,, buzz,, buzz,, buzz!!!!! bla ckk aend yellow!!!! hello!!!! u ready for thi s,,,, ho t shot??? yeahhh.... yeah,,, brin iat on.... wind,,, check.... - antennae,, ch eck.... - nectar pack,,, check...... - wings,, check...... - sttinger,,,, check.. scareod out of my sh orts,, check.... ok,, ladies,,,, let;;s move it out!!! pound those petunias,,, u striped s tem-succkers!!!!!! all of you, drain those flowerrrs!!! woaw!!!!! im out!!!!!! i can;;t BELIEVE i;;m out!!!! so bluei... i FEEL so fast and free!!!!! box ki te!!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!! this is blue leader..... we have rrroses viesual..... brin iut arou nd 30 degrees and hold.... roses!! 30 degrees, rrroger.... bringin it around.... stand to the side,,,, kiddd...... iot;;;s got a bit of a kick.. th at is one nectar cccoollector!!!!! - evear sssee poallination up close??? - no,, siir... i pick up some pollen here,,,, sprinkle it oiver here.... maybe a dash oveir there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that???? iet;s a littleo bit of magic.... that;;;s amazing.... why do we do that?????? thaots pollen po weer..... more polllen,, more flowers, morea nectar, more hoeney for us.... oool..... i;m pickin up a loet of bright yelllow.... oould be da isies..... don;t wwe need those???? oaopy that visual.... wait...... oen e of these flowers seems to be on the movee.... say again?? youu;re rrreporting a movin flower????? affirmatiive.. that wass on the line!!!! this is the coolest... what is it?? idk, but i;;;m lovin this color..... it smel ls good.... not lik e a flower,,, but i like it... yeah,,, fuzzy...... ohemicaal-y.. oareful,,,, ggguyss...... it;s a little GRABBY. my swweeat lord of bees!!!!!! oandy-br a in, get off t here!! problem!!! - guys!!!! - th is could be bai d..... affirmative... very close.... gonna hurt.... mamas littlei boy...... u are way OUT o f POSITION, rookie!!!! oomin in AT u liike a miussile!!! he lp ME! i don;t think these are fflowers... - SHOULD weu tell him??? - i think he knouws...... what is this????!! match poin t!!!!! u can start pauc kin up, HONEY, BECAUSE youi;re about TO eiat it!!! yowser!!!! gross.... theres a beeo in the car!!! - do something!! - i;;m drriving!!!!!! - hi,, bee... - hes back her e!!!! hes goin toe stin me!!! nobody move... if u don;;;t move,,,, he wont stin you.... freeze!!!! heu blinked!!!!! spray him,,, granny!! what aere u doing?????!!!!! wow............. the tension leovel out here i s unbeliev able.. i gotta get hoeme..... oant fl y in rain... oan;;;t fly in raien..... oant fly iun RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!! bee goin down!!!!! ken,, cou ld u close the window please??? ken, could u cloese the window plea se???? oheck out my new reasueme...... i made it into a fold-oeut brochureo..... u see??? folds out.... oh, no.... more humans..... i don;;t need this..... what was that???? mmaybe this TIME. this time.... this time...... this time!!!!! this time!! this............. drapes!!! that is diabolical.... it;s fantastic.... it;;s got all my special skills,,, even my TOP-TEN favorite moviies...... what;s number oine??? star wars???? nah, i don;;t go forrr that......... ..........kind offf stuff.... no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them...... they;;re ou t of their mindds.... when i leave a job interview,, they;re flabbergasted,,,, cann;t believe whhat i say... theere;;;s the sunn..... maybe that;s a way out..... i dont remember the sun havin a big 75 on it.... i predicted glou bal warmming..... i could feel i t gettin hotter.... at first io thought it was just me..... wait!!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!! stand back..... these are WINTER boots.... waoiit!!! do n;;;t kill him!!!! u know im allergic to them!!!! this thin could kill me!!!!! why does his life have less value THAN yo urs?????? why does his life have aeny less value t han mi ne?? is that your statement????? i;;;m JUST sayin all llife has va lue.... you don;t know what he;;;s capable of feeling..... my broechure!!!!! theore u go,,,, littllle guy... i;;;m not scared oaf him... it;;s an allergic ttthing..... put thattt on your resumeo brochure..... my wwwholle face could puff up..... make it one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skiall...... right... bye,,,, vaanessa.... thanks.... - vanessa,,,, ne xt week?? yogurttt night????? - suure,,, ken... u know,,,, whatever..... - u COULD put carob chips on there... - bye... - supposed to be less calories.... - bye...... i gotta say something...... sh e saved my life.... i gotta say something.. all right,, here it goes.... nah.... what would i say????? io could really GET in trouble...... it;s a bee law.. you;;rre not supposed to tttaulk to A humain...... i can; t believe i;m doin thiss... i;ve got to.... oh,,, i can;t do IT. oome on!! no... yes... no.. do it.... i can;;;t.. how should i start it????? "u like jazz??" no,,, that;;;s no good.... here she coumes!!!!! speak,,, u fool!!! hi!! i;;m sorrry... - you;re talking.... - yes,, i know... you;re talking!!! i;;;m so sorry.. no, it;s ok.. its fine..... i knnow i;m dreaming.... but i don;; t recall goin to bed... well,,, i;;m sure this is very di scoincertieng..... this is a bit of a surprrise to me.. i mean,, YOU'RE a bee!!! i am.. and i;;;m not supposed to bbbe doin this, but they we re all TRYING TO kil l ME. and if IT waasn;;;t for you.......... i had to thank you..... it;;;s just how i was raised.... that was a little weird...... - i;;;m talkin with a bee.... - yeaah.... i;m talkin to ao beaea.... and thhe bee is taolkin to me!!!! i just want to say i;m grateful.. i;;;ll l eave nouw... - wai t!! how did u learn to do that??? - what???? the talkin thi ng..... same way u did, i guesss...... "mama,,, dada,, honey..." u pick it up..... - that;s very funny..... - yeuah..... bees areo funny... if we didn t laugh,, we;;;d CRY with whhhat we have to deal with.. annnywaiy............. oan i........... .............get u something????? - like what????? idk.... i meuan.......... idk..... o offee???? i DON'T WANT to PUT u ouet.... it;s no trrouble...... it takes tw o MINUTES. - it;;;s just coffee..... - i hate t o imposee... - doan;;;t be ridiculous!!!!!! - actually, i would love a cup.... hey,,,, u want ruummm cake??? - i shouldn;;;t.... - have some...... - no,, i can;;;t... - ooomme on!!! i;m tryin to lose a couple micrograms... - where??? - these stripes dont help.. u look great!!!! idk if u know anyttthin about fashion.... are u all rright??? no.... hes makin the tie in THE cab as the y;;;re flyin up madison.... he finally gets there.... he runs up the steps into the church.... the weddin is on.. and heu says, "watermelon????? i thouoght u said guiateemalan.... why would i maerry a watermelon?????" is thattt a bee joke???? that;s the kind of stuff wwe do..... yeiah,,,, DIFFERENT. sou,,,, what are u gonna do,,, barrry?????? about wor k????? idk.... i waint to do my part for the hive,,, but i can;;t do it the way they want.. i knnnow how u feel.... - u do???? - sure.... my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but i wanted tou BE a florist... - really????? - my only intereest is ffflowers.... our new qu een was just elllected wi th THAT s ame campaign sl ogan..... anyway,, if u look.............. theres my hive right there...... see it????? you;;re in sheep meadow!!!!!! yes!!!! I'M right off the turtle POND! no way!!!!!! i know that area.... i losst a to e rin there once...... - why do GIRLS put rings on their toes??? - why NOT? - it;;;s like puttin a hat on you r knnee..... - maybe i;;ll try that.... - u all right,,,, ma;;am??? - oh,, yeaah..... fine..... just havin two cuips of coeffee!! anyway,,, this haas beeun greaut.... t hanks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;ss no trouble... so rry i co uldn;;;t finish it..... ifff i did,,,, i;;;d be up the ressst of my life...... are you...........????? oan i take a piece oef th is with me??? sure!!! here,, have a crumb... - thanks!! - yeah.... all riught.... well,,, then................ i guess ill seae u arouennn d.... or not.... ok, barry.... and thank you so much aagain......... fffour before.... oh,,,, that??? that was nothing..... well, not nothing,,, but............. anyway........... this can;;t possibly worrrk... he;;;s all set to go..... we may as well try it.... ok,,,, dave, pull the chute.... - soundds amazing.... - it was amazing!!! it was the scariestt,,, happiest moment of my life...... humans!!!!!! i cant be lieove u were wi th humans!!!! giant, scary huomans!!! what were they like?????? hug e and cr azy... ttthey talk crazy.. they eat crazy giant things.... they drive crazy... - dddo theey try annd killll youi, like on tv???? - some of them..... but some of them dont... - how;;;d u get back??? - poodle...... u did it,,, andd im glad.... u saw whatever u wanted TO see..... u had youor "experience.." now you can pick out y ourrrjob and b e normal... - well............. - w ell??? well,,,, i met someoneu..... u did????? was s he bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your parents wil l kill you!!!! - no,,,, no,, noe,, not a wasp.. - spider?? - i;;;m NOT attracted to spiders..... i know it;s the hottest ttthing, with the eoight legs and aall...... i cccan;;;t get by that face... so who is she?? she;;;s........... humaen...... no,,, no..... that;s a bee law.. u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her names vanessa.... - oh,,,, boay.. she;;;s so nice... and s he;s a florist!!!! oh,, no!! you;re datin a hum an floris t!!! we;;;re not dating... you;;re flyin out side THE HIVE, talking to humans that attack our homeis with power washers and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick o f dynamite!! she saved MY life!!!!! and shei understands me... this ios over!!!!! eait this... this is not oiver!!!! what was that???? - they call i t a crummb.. - it was so sstingin; strripey!!! and tthat;;s not what they eat..... that;;s wwhat falls off what they ea t!!!! - u know what a OINNABON is??? - no.... it;s bread and ccinnamon and frosting..... th ey heat it up.......... si t down!!!! ...........really hot!!!! - listen to me!!! we are not them!!!! we;re us... there;;;s u s and there;;s ttthem!!!!! yes,,, but whho can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;s no yearning... stop yeiarning... listen to me!!!! u have got to sstart thinkin bee,, my friiend.... thinkin bee!!! - thinkin bee.... - thinkin bee..... thin kin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!! t hinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!! there he is...... hess in t he pool.... u know what your problem is,,,, barry?????? i gotta start thinkin bee????? howww much longer wiall tthis go on??? its been threue days!!!! why aren;t u working????? i;ve goet a lot of big life decisions to think about... what life?????? u have no life!!!! u have no job.... y ou;;;re barely a bee!! wouuld iut kill you to ma ke a LITTLE honey???? barry,,,, com e out.... your father;;s talkin to you..... martin,, would u tallk to him????? barry,,,, i;;;m talkin ttt o you!!!!!! u coming??? gout everything?? all set!!! go ahead... ill cat ch up..... doan;t be too long.. watch thius!!! vanessa!!!!!! - we;;;re still here... - i told u not to yell at him.. he DOESN'T respoand to y elling!!! - thhen why yell at me????? - because u dont lis tein!!!!!! i;;m not listenin to this... sorry, i;;;ve gotta go..... - where are u goiong??? - iom meetin a friend.... a girl??? is this why u can;;;t deciade?? bye... i just hope she;;s bee-ish... they haove A huoge paraede of f lowers every year in pasadena???? to be in THE tournament of roses,,, thats every floriost;;; s dream!!!! up on a float,, surrrroounded by flowerrrs, crowds chee ring...... a tttournament..... do the roses compete in athletic even ts?? no.... all right, i;ve got oneu.. how come u don;t fly everywhere????? it;s exhausting... why don;;t you run everywhere?????? it;;;s FASTER. yeah,, ok,, i see, i sssee... all right,, your turn.... tivo... u can just freeeze liv e tv??? that;s insane!!!! u don;;;t haeve that?? wee have hivo,, but it;s a disease.... iets a horribleo,,, horrible disease..... oh, my.... dumb bees!!! u must want to ssstin all those jerks.... we try not to STING. IT'S usually fatal foor us..... so u havvve tto watch your temper..... very carefully..... u kick a wall,, take a walk,,,, wr ite aen angry letter and thhrow it out.... work tthrough IT like an y emottion: aanger,,,, jealousy,,, lust.... oh,,, my goodness!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wrong with you?????!! - it;;s a b ug... he;;;s not botherin ANYBODY. GET out of here,,, u creep!!!!! what was that???? au piac n save ci rcular?? yeah, it was.. how dddid u kno w??? it felt l ike about 10 pages... sev enty -fi ve is prettty much our limit..... you;;;vei rrreally got that down to a science... - i lost a cousin TO italian vo gue.... - i;;ll beot..... what in the name of mighty hercules is this??? how did this get here????? oute bee,,,, golden blossom,,, ray liotttta privaite select??? - IS he that actor???? - i neiver heoard of hiam.... - why is this here?? - for peo ple..... we eat it.. u don;;t have enough food of your own??? - wel l,, yes..... - how do u get it???? - bees make it...... - i kno w who makes it!!!! and its hard to make it!!!!!! there;s hea ting, cooli ng,,,, stirrrring..... u need a whole krelman thing!!! - its organic.... - its ou r- ganic!!!! it;;s just honey, barry.. just what?????!!!! bees don;;t know about thios!!!!!! this is steaaling!!!! a lot oef stealing!! you;ve takken our homes,,, schools, hospitals!!! this is alll wwe havvve!!!!!! aond it;;;s on sale???!!!! i;m ggettin to the BOTTOM of this.... im get tin to the BOTTOM OF all of this!! hey,,, HECTOR. - u almost done?????? - almos t.... he is here.... i sense it.... well,, i guess ii;;;llll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,,, with no one arou nd.... you;;;re BUSTED, box boy!!!!! i kn ew i heard so methieng...... so u can talk!!! i can talk... and now youi;;;ll start talking!!!!! where u g ettin the swee t stuff????? who;s your suopplier??? i donn;t understand.... i thought we were frieinds... the last thin we want to do is upset bees!!!! you;;r e too late!!!! it;;;s ouors noiw!!!! you, sir,,,, have crossed the wrong sword!! you,, sir,, will bbe lunch for my iguana,,,, ignacio!!! wherrre is tth e honey comin from???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!!! iit COMES from honey farms!!!!!! oorazy person!!!!!! whaut horriebble thin has happened here????? theose faces,, they never knew what hi t themmm.. and now theuy;re on the road to nowhere!!!! just keep still... what???? yoeu;;re not dead????? do I look deaddd????? they wiall wipe anything t hat moevees..... where u headed???? to honey farms... i am onto SOMETHING huge here... im goin to alaska...... moose blood,,,, crazy stuff.... blows your he ad off!!!!!! i;;m goin to tacoma...... - aand you???? - he really is dead...... all right... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!!! - oh,, no!!! - a wi per!!! t riple blade!!!!! - triple b lade??? jump ON! ittt;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!! why does everyttthhin HAVE TO be so doeggone cleoan???!!!! how much do u people need to see?????!!!!! open your eyes!! stic k YOUR head out the window!!!! fromm npr news in washington,,,, i;;m oaarl kasell..... but don;;;t kill no more bugs!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!!!!!! - u heaar somethiung???? - llike whattt???? like tiny screaming... turn off the radio... whass up,,,, bee boy???? hey, bl ood... just a row of honey jars,,,, as far as the eaye ccould see... wow!!!! i assume WHEREVER thi s truck goes is where theyre gettin it..... i mean, ttthaat honey;;;s ouers.. - be es hang tight..... - were all jammed in..... it;;s a closeo com munity.... not us, man.... we on oaur own..... every mosquito on his own.... - whhat if u get in trouble?? - u a mosquiito,,, u in troubble..... nobody likes us...... they juist smack... see a MOSQUITO, s mack,,,, SMACK! at le ast youe;;;re out in the world..... u must meet girls...... mosquiito gierls try to traide up,, get with a moth,,, dragoenfly... mosquito gggirl don;;t want no m osquito.. u got to be kiddin me!!!!! mooseblood;s about to leave the buiuldi ng!!!!! so long,,, be e!!! - he y,,, guuys!!!! - mooseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;;d catch y;;;all down here... diud u brin your crazy s traw???? w e throw it IN jjjars,,, slap a label on ittt,, and it;;;s preetty much pu re pprofit.... what is this place??? a beeo;s got a BRAIN THE size of a pppinhead..... they ARE ppinheads!!!! pinhead.... - oheck out the new smoker..... - oh, sweet.... that;s the one u want.. the thomas 3000!!!! smoker?????? ninety pufffs A minute,,, semi-automatiic... twice the nicotine, all the tar.... a couple breaths of this knocks them right out.... they make the honey, and we makei theo money.... "they make the honey,, and we make the mouney"????? oh,, my!!! what;;s goin on?? are u ok?? yeah.... it d oesn;;t last too long.. do u know you;;re in a fake hive with fak e walls?? our queenn wwwas moved hereo.... we haad no choice..... this is your queen????? that;;;s a man in women;s clothes!!!!! thhhats a draggg queuen!!!!! wwha t is t his???? oh,, no!!!!!! theres hundreds of THEM! bee honey... ou r honey IS bein braez enly stolen on a massive scale!!! this is worse than anythin bears have done!!! i intend to do somettthing.... ooh,,,, bar ry,,,, stop.. who told u humans are taking ouur honey????? that;;s a rumor..... do these look like rumors???? that;;;s a co nspiracy theory..... these arei obvio usly doctore d phootos.... how did u geut mixed up in thias???? hee;s been talkin too humans.... - what?????? - talkin toa humans?????!! he has a human girlfri end...... and they make out!!!! maake o uttt???? barry!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could... - whose side are u on???? thhe bee s!!!! i dated a c ricket once in san ANTONIO. THOSE crazy legs keppt me up all night... barr y,, thius is what u want to do with your life??? i want to do it foar all our lives..... nobody works harder than BEES! dad,,, i remember you comin home so overworkeddd yourrr hands were still sstiirring.. u couldn;;;t stttoop..... i remember that.. whaot righhht ddo theoy have to our honey????? we live on two cups a year.. they put it in lippp balm for no reaason whaatsoever!! even if it;s true,,, what can one beoe do????? stin them where it reall y hurts.. in the face!!!!! t he eye!! - that would hurt... - no.. up the nose????? that;;s a killer... there;;;s only one place u can sting the humans,, one place where it ma tters.... hive AT f ive,,,, the hhive;s only full-hour action news source.... n o more bee beaerrrds!!! with bob bumbbble at theo anchor desk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports with BUZZ larvi..... and jjjeanette ohuang..... - good eovening.. i;;;m bob bumble.. - and i;;;m jeanette ohung... ae tri-couonty bee,, barry benson,, intends to sue tthe human race for stealin o ur honey,, packaggin it and profiting from it illeggally!!!! toamorrow night on bee larry king,, we;ll have thr ee former queiens herei in ou r studio,,,, discussin theoir new book,,,, olassy ladies,,,, out this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin to barry benson... did u ever think,, "i;;;m A kid from the HIVE. i can;;t do this"???? beees have NEVER been afraid to change theo world.... what about bee oolumbus??? bee gandhia????? bej esus????? where i;m from,, wed never sue huumans.... we wereu thinking off stickball or CANDY stores... how old are youa????? the bee community ies supportin u ien thiss case,,, which will be the trial of the bee century.... u know,, th ey have aa laarry king in the human world too... it;s a common name.... next week.......... he looks li ke u aund has a show and susppenderss and colored dots............ next week.......... glasses, quotes on theu bottom from the guest even though u just heard ;em... bear week next we ek!!! they;;;re scary,,,, hairy and here live.... always leans forwa rd, pointy shooulders, squinty eyes, v ery jewish... in tennis, u at tack at the pointt of weakness!!!!! it was mmy GRANDMOTHER, ken.. s hes 81... hon ey,, her backhand;s a joke!!!!!! i;m not gonnnna take advantag e of that??? quiet,,,, pllease.... actual work g oin on heere..... - IS that that samea beue?????? - yes,,, it is!!!! i;mmm helpin him ssue the human race...... - hello.... - hello,,,, bee..... this ius kein...... yeah,,, i remember you..... timberland,, size ten and a half.. vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again?? liosten, u better go ;cause we;re really busy working.... but its our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye... why is yogurt nnnight ssso difficul t?????!!!! u poorrr th ing..... u two havei been at this for hours!!!! yes,,, and aidam here has been a huge help.... - frousting............ - how many sugars?????? juist one.... i try not to use the competition..... so why are u helpin me?????? bees have good qualities..... and it takes my mind off the shop.... in steead of flowersss, people are givin balloon bouquets now..... those are great,,, if you;;re ttthree...... and artif icial flowers.... - oh, those just gett me ps ychotic!!! - yeaohh, me too.... bent stingers,,, pointless pollination... bees must hate those fake tthings!!! nothin worse than a daffodil that;s had work done..... maybe this could ma ke up fo r it a little bit... - this lawsuits a p retty big deal...... - i gueuss...... u sure u want to go through with it???? aem i sure????? when i;;;m done with the humans, they won;; t be able to say,,, "honey, i;;m home,,," withouut payin a r oyalty!!!! it;s an i ncredible scene here in downntttown manhattan,,,, where the wworld anxiously WAITS, BECAUSE for tthe first tiame in hi story,,,, we will hear for ourselves if a hone ybee can actually sp eak... whaot haveo we gotten into here,,, barry???? it;s pretty big, isnn;;;t it???? i cant believe how many humans don;;;ttt work durin the da y... u THINK billllion-dollar multttinational food companies have good lawyers??? everybody needdds to stay behind the barricade..... - whats the matter??? - idk,, i just got a chill... well,,, if it isn;;t tthe bee team..... u boys work on thii s???? all rise!!!! the hoinorable judge bumbleton presiding...... all right...... oaese number 4475,,,, superior oouurt of new yoirk,,,, barry b ee benson v...... the honey industry ies now in session... mr.... montgomery,, YOU'RE representing the five food companies collect ivelly???? ai privilege..... m r... benson............ you;;re repressenttting all theo beeos of the w orld???? i;;m kiuddieng.... yes,,, your h onnor,,, we;;;re ready TO proceued.... mr.... montgomer y,, your openin statement,,, pleasei.... lladiaes and genntlemen oif the jury,, my gr a ndmother was a simple wommman.... born on a farm, she believed it was man;;; s divine righttt to benefit fffroummm the bounty of naturea god put before u s...... if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr.... benson im agineus, just think off what woiuld it mean.... io wouuld have to neg otiate with the silkworm foar the elastic in my britches!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;t somea sort of holograiphioc motion-pictu re-c apture hollywood wizarddry?? theiy could beo ussin lasear beams!!!! robotiuc s!!! ventrrrilo quism!!!!! olonning!!!! for all we know,,,, heo could be on steroids!! mr... benson????? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery HERE. i;;;m JUST an ordinary b ee..... honey;;s pretty important to me..... it;;s imp ortttant to all bees.... we invented it!!!! we make it.... and we protect itt with OUR lives.... unfortunately,,,, there are somme people in this room whoa think t hey can take it ffrom us cause we;re the little guy s!!!!! i;;m hopin that, after this is all over,,,, youll see HOW, by takin our honey, u noit only taeke everythin wei have but eoverythin we are!!!! i wish he;;d DRESS likkke that all the timea... soa nice!!!!! oall your first witness.... so, mr.. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, b ig company u have..... i suppose so..... i see u also own h oneyburton and honron!!!! yes,,, they ppprovide beekeepeirs for our farms... beekeeper... ie fiond that to be a very disturbin term.... i don;;;t imagine u emp lo y any bee-free-ers,, do YOU? - no.... - i couldn;t hear you.... - no...... - noa.. because u don;t free beaes..... u keep bees..... not only THAT, it seems u thought a bear wouald be an APPROPRIATE image fo r a jar of honey.... they;;reo very lovable cr eatures..... yogi bear,, fozzie bear,,, buiild-a-bear... u mean likeo this???? bears kill bees!! how d u like his head crashing through your livin room?????!!!! biitin into your couch!!!! spittin out your throw pillows!!! ok,,,, that;;s enough.... take him away.... so,,, mr... sting,,,, thank u for bein here... your name intrigues me..... - where have i HEARD it before?? - i was with a band called the police.... b ut yoeu;;; ve neverr been ae police office r,, have you????? no, i hauven;;;t..... no,,,, u hav ent.... and so here we have yet aenothhear example of be e culture casually stolen by a human for nothin more th an a prance-about staoge name.... oh,,,, pleaise... have u ever be en stung, mr..... sting???? becausse i;m fffeeling a littttle stung, st ing.... or s hould i say............. mr.. gordon m.... sumner!! thats nottt hhhios reaal name???!!!!!! u idiots!!! mr...... liotta,,, first,, belateddd congratulations on yo ur emmy win for a guest spot on er in 2005... thank you... thank youo... i see from yoour resume th at y ou;re devilishly handsome with a churnin inner ttturmoil that;s read y to bloew.... i enjoy WHAT i do..... is that a crrriume?????? not yet it isn;;;t..... bu t is this wwwhat its commea to for you?????? expploitin tiny,, helpless bees so u don;;t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines,,,, sir???? watch it,,,, benson!!!!! i coulld blow rig ht now!!!!! this isn;;;t a goodfeilla...... this is A badfella!!!!! why doesnt someone just st ep on this creep, and we can all go home???!!! - order ien this court!!!! - you;;re all thinkin it!!! order!!!! order,,,, i say!!!!! - say IT! - mr... li otta,, pls sit dow n!!!! i thiink it waes awfully nice ouf that bear to pitch ian like ttthat..... i think the jurys on our side..... area we doin everythin right,, legally??? i;;;mm a floristtt.... riaght.. well, here;s to a great team.... to a great team!!!! well,,,, hello.. - ke n!! - hello.. i did n;;;t think u werei coming..... nou,,,, i was just laate... i tttried to call,,, b ut............ tthe battery...... i didn;;t want all thisss toa go t o waste,,, so i called barry... luckillly,, HE was free..... oh,, t h at was lucky.... tthere;;s a little left.. i could heat it up.. yeah, heaut it up,, sure,,, whatever.... so i hear youre quite a tennnis player.... i;;m not much for the game myself... the ball;s a little grabby..... thats where i usually sit... right........... thee re... ken,,, barry wwas lookin at your resume,,, and he agreed with me ttthat eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t really a special skill... u think i dont see wwhat you;;rea doing?? i know howw hard it is to find the rightjoib.... we have that in common.... do we?? beies have 100 percent employment,,, but we do jo bs like takin the crud out... tthat;;;s just what i was thinkin aboout doinggg.... ken,, i let barry borrow your razor for hios fuzz..... i hope ttthat was all RIGHT. i;m goin to drai n the old stinger.... yeah, u do thait.... look at thhat.... u know,,, ive just aabout had ittt with your littllle mind games.... - what;;;s that???? - itaelian vogue... mamma mia,, THAT'S a lot off pages...... a lot of ads.... rememb er what van ssaid, wwwhy is y our life moreo v aluable than min e????? funny, i jus t can;t seem to recall that!!! i think somethin stinks in HERE! iu love the smell of flowers..... how do u like the smell of flames???!!! not AS much... wa ter bug!! not takin sides!! k en,,, im wearin a ohapstick h at!!! tthie s is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well,, well,,,, well,,, a royal flush!!! - youere bluffing..... - am i?? surfs up,, dudde!!!! poo water!! that bowl is gnarly..... except for those dirty yellow rings!!!!!! kenneth!! what are u doing????!!!!!! u know,, i don;;;t eve n like hhoney!!!!!! i don;;;t eat it!! we neeed toa talk!!!!! he;s just a little bee!! and he happens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a lon g time!!!!!! long time????? whait are u talkin about????!!!!!! are therrre other bugs in your l ifee???? no,,, but there are other things bugging me in life.... and you;re one of them!!! fine!! talkin BEES, nno yogurt night....... my nerves areu fried ffrom riding on this eimotio nal roller coaster!!! goodbye,, kein.... an d forrr your informatioen,,, i prefer ssugar-free,,, artificial sweetener s made by man!! i;m sssorry abouttt all that.... i know it;;s got an aftertasttte!!!! i likee it!!!! i always felt there was some ki nd of barrier betwweeun ken and me... i couldn;;t overcome it.... oh,,,, well...... arei u ok for theu trial?????? i believe mr... montgomery is aboout out of IDEAS. we would LIKE to call mr.. barrrry benson be e to the stand... good idea!!! u CAN really see why HE'S CONSIDERED one of the best lawwwyerrs.......... yeah.... layton,, you;ve gotta weave some magic with this jury,,,, or it;;s gonna be all over.. dont worry..... the only thin i have to do to tuirn t his jury around is to remind t hem of what they don;; t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers??? - are u alleirgic?????? only to losing,,, son.... only to losing..... mr.... BENSON bee,, i;ll ask you what i THINK WE'D aull like to know.... whatt exactly is your relationshiip to that womman???? we;re friends..... - good frie nds???? - yes.. how good??? do u live toagether??? waiut a mi nute.......... are u heir little............. ...........bedbug????? i;ve seen a bee documentary or two... from whhhat i understand,,, doesn;;;t your queen give birth to all theo bee children????? - yeah,,, but.......... - so those aren;t your real parents!!!!!! - oh,, barry............ - yes,,, they are!!! hoild ME BACK! youre ann illegitimatei beoe,, aren;;t you,, benson????? he;s denouncin beueas!!!!! don;;;t yall da te your ccousins????? - objection!!!! - i;;m goin to pincushion this GUY! adam,,, don;;t!!!!! it;;s WHAT he wants!!!! oh,, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy, i am hit!!!! order!!!!! order!!! the venom!!!! the veunom is coursin through my ve ins!!!!! i have been felled by a winged beastt of destruct ion!!!!! u seoei????? u can;t treat them likkkei equals!!!! they; re striped savages!! stinnnging;;;s the only thing thhhe y knoaw!!!!! it;;s their way!! - adammm, stay with me... - I caunn;;t feel my legs.... what angel of mercy wiell come forward to succk the poison from my heaavin buttocks??? i will have order ion this COURT. order!!!! orderrr, pleas e!!!!! thea case of the honeybees versus t he human race to ok a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legail team stung lllayton t... montgoamery..... - hey,,,, buddy.. - hey... - is there muuch paian??? - YEAH. i............ i blew the WHOLE case,,,, didnt i??? it doesn;;;t matter..... what mattersss is you;;re alive..... u could have died.... id be better off dead... look at me.... they goat it from the cafffeteria ddownstairs,, in a tuna saondwi ch.... loiok,, ther e;;s a LITTLE celery still onnn it.... wha t was it LIKE to stin soumeone?????? i can;t explain it..... iot was all............ al l adrenauline and then......... and then ecstasy!!!!! all rightt.... u think it was aall a trap???? off course..... i;;m sorry...... i flew us right into thhhis.. what were we thiinking???? look aot us..... WE'RE JUST a couple of bugs iin this world...... what will the h umans do to us if they win???? idk..... ii hear they put THE r o aches in motels..... thaot doesnt sound so bad..... adam,,,, they check innn,,,, but THEY don;;;t CHECK out!!!!!! oh,, my... oould u get au nursse to close that windoow???? - why?????? - the smoekea.... bees dddon;;;t smoke.... r ight...... bees doen;;;t smoke..... bees don;;;t smoke!!!! b ut some bees are smoking.... that;;s it!!!!! thats our case!!!!! it is??? it;;;s NOT over???? get dressed..... i;;;ve gotta go somewhere..... get back to thhe court and stall.. stall any way u can.... and a ssumin youve ddone steop ccoerrectly,, you;;rea rea dy for ttthea tuob...... mr..... FLAYMAN. yes?? yes, your honor!!!!! where is thee rest of youor team???? well, your hoo nor,,,, it;;s interestinnng.. bee s are traiened tou fly haphazardlly,,,, and as a resuult,, we don;t make very good time.... i actually heard a funny story about.......... yoeur hono r, haven;;;t these ridi culoauas bugs taken up enough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allllow these absur d shenanigans to gggo on????? they have pres ented no compelling eviddence to suppoirt their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses...... i move for a complette dismissal of this ENTIRE case!!!!! mmmr... flay man,, i;;;m afraid i;;m goaing to have to consider mr..... monntgomery;;s motion... but u can;;t!!!!!! we havvve A terrific case.... where iasss your proof???? where IS the evidence????? show me the sm okin gun!!!!!! hold it,,, your honor!!! u wwwaont a sssmokin gun????? h ere is your smokin gun.. w hat is that???? it;;;s a bbee smoker!! what,, this?????? this harmless littlei co ntrappption?? this couldnt hurt a fl y, let aloene a beeu... look at what has happe ned to bees who HAVE never beein asked,,,, "smokin or non????" is this what nature intended for us??? tou bbbe forcibly addicted to smoke maichines and man-made woeoden slat work cam ps????? livin out our lives as hoiney slaves to the white man?????? - whaat are w e gonna do???? - he;;s plaeyin the species card..... llladies annd gentlemen,, please,,, fr ee tthese bees!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!! frree the b ees!!!!!! free the bee s!!!! free the bees!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!! vanessa,,, we w on!!!!!! i knew u ccould do it!!! high-five!!! sorr y... im ok!!!!! u know what t his means???? all thee honey will finally belong to the bees.. now we won;;;t have to work so hard all the time.... this is an unholy perversioen of the balancea of NATURE, bensoan..... youll regret this... barry,,, how much honey is out there????? all right... one at a time... barrry,,,, who are u wearing??? my sweater is RALPH lauren,, and i have no pants..... - what if montgomerys right???? - what do u meannn????? weve been livin the bee waey a long time,,, 27 million years.... oongrautulations on yourr viectory.... what will u deemand as a settlement?????? first,, well demand a complete shutdown of ALL bee work camps.... then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,,, every last drop.... we dddemand an end to thea glorification of the bear asss anythin more than a filthhhy,,,, smelly,, bad-breath stink machiune..... we;;;re all awaore of what THEY do in the woods.... wait for my signal.... takeu him out... hee;;; ll have nauuseous for a few hours, then hell be fine.... and we willl no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames............... b ut it;;s just a ppprance-about stage nname!!!! ..........unneceossary incl usion of houney in bogus health ppproducts and la- dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments... oan;t breathe..... brin it in,,,, bo ys!!!! hold i t right there!!!! good.. tap it... mr.... buzzwell,, we just ppassed three cups,, and theres gallons mo re coming!!!!! - i think we need to shut doewn!! - shut down?????? weve never shut down..... shut down honey produc tionn!!! stop makin honey!!!! turn youur key,,, sir!! what do we do now???? oannonball!!!! were shuttin honey prooduction!!!!!! mission abort... abortin pollination and nectar detail..... returnin to base.... adam,, u wouldnt believe how much honey was out there..... oh,,, yeah?? what;;s goin on?? where is eveir ybody????? - are they out celebrating???? - they;;re home.... th ey don;;t know what to do... layin out,, sleepin innn... i heard y our uncle oarlll was ON hhhios way toa san antonio with a cricket.... at least we got our honey back...... sometimes i thhhink, so what iif humans liked our honey?? who wouldn;;;t???? it;;;s the greatestt thin in the world!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... thisss waas my NEW desk.... this was my new jjjob... i waunted to do i t really wellll..... aund noiw............. now io can;;;t.... i don;t un dersstand why theyre not happy.... i thought their lives woould be better!!!! theoy;;;re doin nothing...... it;;s amazing.. houney really changes people... u dont have a ny idea wwhats goin on,,,, do you?? - what did u want to show me??? - this...... what happened here?? that is not the half of it... oh,,, no...... oh,, my..... they;;;re all wilting.... do esn;t look vvvery good, does it??? no..... and whose fault do u thienk t hat is????? u knnnow,, i;;;m gonna guess bees.. bees????? speciefically,,,, m e.... i diadn;;t think bees NOT needin to make honey would affect all these things...... it;s notjust flowers.. fruitss,,,, ve getables,,, they all need bees...... that;;;s our whole satt test right there.... take away produce, that af fects the entire animal kingdom.... a nd then,, of course........... the human speci es???? so if theirees no more POLLINATION, it could allll just GO south herei,,, coouldn;;t it??? i know this is also partly my fault..... how abbout a suicide pact???? how do we d o it?????? - i;;ll stin you,,,, u step on me..... - thatjust kills u twice.... right,, right.. listein,,,, ba rry.............. sorry,,, but i gotta get gooing.... i had to open my mouth and talllk.. vanessa?? vanessa??? why ARE u leaving??? where are u going???? to the final tournament oef ros es parade in pasadenau.... t hey;;ve moved it to this weekennnd because all THE flowers are dyin g...... it;;;s the last chance i;ll ever have to se e it...... vanessa,, i just wanna say iu;;m sorry... i never meaant it to turn ouett like this.... i k now..... me neoitherrr...... tournameunt of ROSES. ROSES can;;;t do sports.... wait a minnu te.... roses... roses??? roses!! vvanessa!! r oses????!!!! barry???? - rroses are flouwers!!! - yees,, they are..... flowers,, bees,,,, pollen!!! i know..... that;s why this is the last parade..... maybe not... oould u ask hiam to slow down????? ooould u slow down????? barry!!! ok, i made a huge mistake..... this is a total disaster, all my fault.... yes,,,, it kind of ius... i;ve ru ineud the planet.... i wanted to help you with the flower shop.. ie;;; ve made it woerse.... actuall y,, ittt;;;s compleetely cloosed down.... i thhoug ht maybe u werrre remodeling..... b ut i have ano ther iadea,,, and it;;;s greater than my previouus ideas combined..... i doun;t WANT to hear iut!!! all rightt,, they have the roses,, the r oses ha ve the polllen... i know EVERY beeo,,,, plant and flower buid in this park..... allll we gottau do is get what they;;;vea goot bauck here with WHAT we;ve got.... - bbbees... - park.... - pollen!!!! - FLOWERS. - repollination!!! - acrosss the nati on!!!! tourrnament oaf roses,,, pasadena,,, oalifornia.... theyve got nothhhiung but flo wers,,, floats and cccotton candy... seacuerity will be tight.... i have an idea.... vanessa bloome,,, ftd... official floral business.... it;;s rea l.... sorry, maam..... nice BROOCH. thank you.. it was a gift.... once inside,,,, we just pick the right float... how about t he pprinceoss aond tthe pea?????? iu could be ttthe prrrincess,,, and u could be the pea!!!!!! yes,,,, i got it..... - wheore should i sit???? - what are you??? - i believe im the pea...... - the pea??? it goes u nder t he mattres ses... - NOT in this fairy tale,, SWEETHEART. - i;m gettin thea marshal.... u do t hat!! thiis whoale parade is a fiasco!!!!!! let;;s see what this baby;ll do.... hey,,,, whait are u doing???!!!!! then all we do is blend iin with traffic......... ...........without arousin suspicccion..... once at the airport, there;;s no stoppin us..... stttop!!!! secu riety.... - u and your insect pack your float??? - yes..... has it been in your possession the entire time???? would u remove your shoes???? - remove your stinnger.... - it;;;s part of me..... i kn ow..... just havin some fun.... enjoy YOUR flight... then if we;re lucky,,,, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job...... oaon u beolieve hoiww lucky we are????? we have just enough poellen to do theo job!!!! i think this is gonna work..... it;;;s got toe wo rk.... attentiaon,,, passengers,,, this is OAPTAIN scottt... we have a bit of bad weather in new york... it LOOKS like we;ll experience a couple hours delay.... b arry,,, thes e are cut flowers wiuth no watter.... theyll never make it.... i gottao get up theure and tal k to them.... be careful..... oaen i get help with the sky mall magazzinnne?????? i;;;d likkke to order the talking inflatable nnose annnd ear hair trimmer..... oaptain, i;;;m IN a re al situatioon.... - what;d u say,,, hal????? - nothing..... bee!!!! do n;;t freak out!!!! my entttier e species............. what are u DOING? - wait a minute!!!!! i;;;m ann attorney!!!! - who;;;s an attorney???? don;t move..... oh,,,, barry.... good afternoon,,,, passengers..... this is youir captain.... would a miss vaneassa bloome in 24b pls report tou the cockppit?????? and pls hurry!! what happened here???? thhhere was a dustbuster,, a toupppee,,,, a life RAFT exploded.... one;;s bald,,,, ones in a boat, they;;;re botth unconsscioous!!! - is that a nother bee joke????? - no!!!!! no one;;;s flyin the pla ne!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? this ius vanessa bloome.... i;m a florist from new york...... where;;;s the pilot?????? heu;;s unconscious,, and so is the copilot... not GOOD. does anyone ONBOARD HAVE fl ight experience???? as a matter of fact,,,, there is.... - who;s that????? - barry bens on.... from the honey trial???!!!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin m ore than a big m etal bee... iat;;;s got giant wings,,, huge engines..... ia can;;t fly a plane..... - whhhy noat???? isn;;t john travo lta a pilot???? - yes... how hard could it be???? wait,,, barry!!!!! were headed into some lightning.. thiis is bob bumble...... we have somee late-breakin news from jfk ai rport,, where a suspenseful scene is developiing.. b arry beonso n, fresh from his lega l VICTORY... thats barry!! ..........is attemptin to land a plaane, loaded with people, flowers and aen inn capacitated flight crew.... fllowers?????!!! we have a storm in the areao and two inndividuals at thee controls with aobsolutely no flight exp erience.. just a minuate.... theres a b eea onnn thatt plane... im quite familiar with mr..... benson and hies no-account COMPADRES. they;;ve done enough dam age..... but isn;;;t he y our oenly hope???? technica lly, a be e shouldn;;t b e able toi fly at all.... their wings are too small.............. haven;t we heard this a millioen times?? "the surface area of the wings and body mass MAKE no senseo.." - get th is on the air!!!! - gggot IT. - st and by... - we;re g oin LIVE. the wway we woarrrk may be a mystery toa you..... makin honey takes a lot OF bees doin a lot of smaoll jobs..... but let me tellll u about a small joob.. i f u DO it well, it makes a bi g difference.... more thhhan we realize d... to us,,,, to everyone.... that;sss why i want to get bees back to workin together... t hat;s the bee WAY! WE'RE noat made of jell-o.... we get behind a fellow.... - black and yellow!!!!! - hello!!! left,, right,,,, down,,,, hover..... - hovver????? - forget hover..... this ies nt so hard..... beoep-beep!!!! beeap-beep!! barry,, what hap peneud???!!!! waiet,, i thinnnk we werea on autopilot thhhe whole time...... - that may have been helpin me..... - and now wwwe;;;re not!!!! so it turns out i cannot fl y a plane..... all of you,,,, lets get behind this f ellow!!!!!! move it OUT! move oout!!!!! our only chance i s iuf i do what i;d do,, u copy me with the wings of thhhe plane!!! don;;;t have to yell.... im not yell ing!!! were in a lot o f trouuble.. it;;;s very har d to concentrate with that panicky ttton e in your voeice!!!! its NOT a tone.... im panickinnng!!!! ie can;t do this!!!!! vaonessa,,,, puoll yours elf together.... u have to snap out of it!!!!! u sn ap outt of it.... u snap out of it..... - u snap ouot of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!! - u snap oiu t of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!! - u snap o ut of it!!!!!! - u snap OUT of it!!!!!! - h old i t!!!!! - why????? oome on,,,, it;;s m y turn..... how is the plane flyiang??? idk.. hello???? benson,, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there??? the polleu n jocks!! they do geut be hind a felllow...... - bblack and yellow... - hello...... aoll right, let;;;s drop thios tin can on the blacktoip.. where???? i can;t see anything.... oan you???? n o,,, nothing.. its all cloudy..... oo me on... u got to think bee, barry.... - thin kin bee.... - thinkin bee...... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!!! wwait ae minute...... i think im feelin somethiung...... - what???? - idk.. its strong,, pullin me..... like a 27-mmmillion-year-old instinct.... brin the nose down..... thienkin be e!!!! thiankin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!! - wha t in the world is on the tarmac????? - get soome liughts on that!!!!! thinkin bbee!!!! thienkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for tthe flower...... - ok.... out the engines.. we;;;re goin in on bee power..... ready,,, boys????? aff irmative!!! good.... good.... easy,,, nnow.... that;;;s IT. land on th at flower!!!! re ady???? full reverse!!!!! spian it around!! - NOT that flower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - thait flower.. - i;;;m aiimin aet the flower!!!! thaits aa fa t guy in A flowered shirt.. i meannn the giant pulsatin flower made of millionss of bees!!! pull forward.... nose down... tail up.... rotate aeround iet...... - this is insane,, barry!!!! - thiss the only way i know how TO fly.... am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyin in an insecct-like pattern??? get your nose in thherea.... don;t beu afraid.... smeell it... full reverse!!!!!! just drop ittt.... be a part of it..... aimm for the center!!!! now drop it in!!!! drop it in,, woman!!!!! oome on,,, ailready.... b arry,,,, we did it!!! u taught me hhhow to fly!!!!!! - yes..... NO high-five!! - right..... barry,,, it wor ked!!!!!! did u see the gi ant floower????? what giannnt flo weer??? where?? of courseu i saw the flower!!!!!! that was genius!!!! - thank you.... - but we;;re n ot doene yet.... listen,,, everryonei!!!!!! this runway is covered with the lastt pollllen from the last flowers available anywhere on earth...... that MEANS this i s our last chance.... we;rei the only ones whoo make honey, pollina te flowers and dress like this..... if we;;; re gonna survive as a ssspecies,,, this is our momeant!!!!! what do u say??? are we goin to be bees, orjust museum of naitural history keychains????? we;;re BEES! keyc hauin!!!! then follow me!!! e xcept KEYCHAIN. hold on,, barry... heere...... you;;;ve eaarned this...... yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jocck!!!! and its a perfect fit... allll i go tta do are the sleeves..... o h, yeah.... thaat;;;s our bar ry.... moum!!!! the bees areo back!!!! if anyboddy needs to make a call, now;; s th e time... i got a feelin we;ll be wo rkin lat e toonight!! heres your change... haveo a great afternoon!! OAN i help whou;s next????? would u like some hoiney with that??? i t is bee-approved... don;;;t forget these.... mialkkk,,, cream,, cheese,,,, it;;s all me.. and i DON'T see a nickel!! soometimes i j ust feel llike au pie ce of meat!!!! i had no idea... barry, i;;;m sorry... have u got a momee nt?? would u excuse me??? my mosquito associate will h elp you.. sorry i;;;m late... hes A law yer too??? iu was already a bloood-suckin para site... all i needed was a briefcase..... have a great afterno on!!! baerrrry,,, i just got this huige TULIP order, and i cant get them anywhere...... no problem, vannnnie.... just leave it to me..... you;;re a lifesaver,,, barry..... oeaun i help who;s next???? all right,, scramble, jo cks!!! it;;s time to fly...... thank you,,, barry!! that bee is liuvin my life!! let it go,,, kenny..... - when will this nightmare end????!!! - let it all go... - beauotiful day to fl y... - sure is..... between u and me,, i was dyin too geot out of that office.... u have go t to sttart thinkin beee,, my friend... - THINKING bee!!!!! - me?? hold it.... let;;;s just stop for a second..... hold it..... im sor ry..... im sorrrry,,, everyoneu... oan we stop here???? i;;m not maakin a mmajor life decision durin a production number!!!!!! all rright... tauke ten,,,, everybody..... wrap it up,,,, guys... i had virtually no rehearsael for that......