#the lighting in this was a nightmare let's not speak of how bad those last few gifs look

[homerjacksons]

RIPPER STREET S04E06

[luveline]

I love your writing sm!!! would you be willing to do something with Spencer where he calms reader down from a nightmare ? thank u so much!!! have a good day ❤️

thank you sm! ♡ gn!reader

cw drug use mentioned

In the dream, Spencer lives. 

Surprisingly. So many of your dreams are made of his demise. In one dream he gets killed in a cemetery, crying and alone and strapped to a chair. In another, a needle stays stuck to the crook of his arms as he slips into a too-heavy sleep. Sometimes he dies bleeding out from his leg, other times he makes it to the hospital long enough to feel the building crumble beneath him. 

You wouldn't want Spencer to stop telling you things, but every ragged chapter of his life acts as nightmare fuel. Every sentence, every line. Here he's lonely. Here he's afraid. 

Here, despite everything, he's alive, because this is the dream where you die first. 

You die like the snap of a firecracker hitting the ground and find yourself inverted, flinching up where gunpowder spilled down, your hand knocking into the soft of Spencer's stomach as you gasp for air. You're dead. You're dead, and Spencer's alone, and no one is going to look after him now. 

"Y/N?" His voice. The plastic and wood scrape as he grabs his glasses and shoves them on. "What? What's hurting?" 

You put your hand over your heart and will it to stop pounding so hard. It aches like a new bruise. 

"Baby," Spencer says softly, curling his arm behind the small of your back. He pulls your bodies together, tucking the sheets up your legs again with the other. 

"Bad dream," you say, wishing you'd woken crying. At least then you'd know what the emotion is under all your abject panic. 

"Just breathe… just breathe." He takes a slow, deliberate breath for you to follow. When he speaks, it's calm as the summer sea. "Another one. I'm sorry, you've had a lot of these lately, huh?" Spencer brings the hand furthest from you to your cheek, encouraging your cheek against his chin. "You want to tell me about it?" 

"I died." 

It must surprise him. For once, he doesn't have anything to say immediately. He turns his face in to kiss you, not fussy about where his lips fall. A slow, steadying kiss. 

"Those ones are some of the hardest," he says sympathetically. 

"I didn't… it didn't even matter. I hit my head and I woke up. But I…" How to explain it? "Spence, there was this split second where I thought I left you alone." 

"Don't worry about me," he says.

"But I do worry about you. I know you can look after yourself better, but– but people have let you down. I've let you down." 

Spencer's smile is audible, a lilt to the dulcet murmur he presses into your hair, "You're the last person I'd say let me down... You know, nightmares aren't scientifically quantifiable, there's no statistical data on what it means to have a bad dream, but. There are hundreds of thousands of books about it, and more than you'd think tend to agree that after you've had one, the fear remains. Like a bad cell. You can't remember it and it sticks around despite it." 

You wait for the silver lining. 

"So?" you ask. 

He chuckles quietly. "So, I know it sucks, but it's a good thing that you remembered it. Want me to tell you what the books say?" 

"About what it means?" you ask. 

"They say it's transitional. You're saying goodbye to something. Starting a new chapter." 

Spencer turns your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. Dead morning light floods the room like a splash of milk into tea, illuminating the small apples of his cheeks, the thick triangles of his lashes behind his glasses' lenses. He looks woefully handsome considering the hour, and, to your relief, he's completely unafraid. 

"Just don't say goodbye to me, okay?" he whispers.

You nod, fatigue pressing on your shoulders. 

Spencer gives you a quick, dotting kiss. "Thank you. Let's go back to sleep, yeah? Lay down." 

You curl up under his arm. His hand takes loop on your shoulder, drawing lazy, meandering circles until you're falling into a much quieter crop of sleep. 

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Customers

I am back! And we are still with Ccino :D @spotaus drabble required tag <3

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No edit or beta as always. we are here for a fun time!

*--------------*

Ccino snaps out of his staring as someone else stands before him impatiently. Ccino pulls up his best customer service smile and gets to work.

The line is long but it is for the better.

Keeps his mind off the damning newspaper that got delivered to him.

He makes his way throught the line easily enough though. Even if it is busier than usual. And with cross universe customers too. Which sucks for different reasons.

an Alphys and undyne walk up to the counter to return their things. Ccino takes it with a nod and a good day wish as he goes to wash them.

The Undyne speaks "hey... so... I know people have been... rude to you about the whole... letting the gang stay and stuff?"

Ccino rolls his eye lights as he cleans the glass "That are just rumours. I just said that we can't speak for reasons who gods that we don't understand."

Undyne huffs but ALphys mutters "Sorry... the news that Dream had been wrong was... shocking and well... people need time to process it adn stuff..."

Ccino puts the things away and crosses his arms "Anything else i can get you?"

Undyne glares "What the hell man? We are trying to apologise."

Ccino sighs "your apology misses the words 'I am sorry.'." and he stares at them.

Undyne glares but ALphys stops her before speaking again "We are sorry... YOu were right... most of us never understood what the gods did and why and assumed a lot... I am sorry... I am also sorry that the only way people were more open to it was... well..." she eyes hte newspaper before shooting him a smile "must be rough... never being able to at least tell him that you didn't judge him."

Ccino's grip tightens on the cup. Don't react.

the two fianlly take the clue to leave and do as much.

Ccino lets out a sigh in relieve and his sight finds the newspaper again. THe headline is clear as day.

NIGHTMARE PRONOUNCED DEAD.

Ccino glares at it before turning it over. Maybe he can use it to light the fire place later or something.

There is no way he is dead. Those idiots just gave up searching or looking out for him. Ccino can know. he actually read the whole piece instead of just the headline and figured out that they never found any clues that could prove he had died. They are just assuming he died because they hadn't seen any hints of him living anywhere.

Ccino knows this to not be truth. Mostly because Dream would at least tell him that Ngihtmare had died. they have an understanding after the last time they met.

Ccino huffs and looks at one of the cats "You would think they would learn a thing or two about assuming things." the cat just nuzzles his hand.

"Yeah people tend to keep assuming stuff."

Ccino jumps and turns around quickly. He hadn't heard the doorbell ring.

Before him stands another him. Blue hoody. pink slippers. black shorts. white eye lights. pretty much a blank slate of how most of them start.

Okay no that was rude. That is a bad way to think about it. Ccino met Classic. he is a great and helps sneak him quite a few supplies.

Ccino smiles brightly "Didn't hear you come in! sorry for that. what can i get you?"

the other, Ccino will just think of him as Sans for now, looks at the menu and hums before looking bakc at him "I don't want something off the menu."

Ccino raises a brow and keeps grinning "The adoption process can be started at any moment. mister....?"

Sans grins wider and tilts his skull "the skeleton. obviously."

Ccino can't help but snort "Why is that joke always funny?"

Sans looks rather smug "because it is. and here i was afraid customer service killed your humour."

Ccino sighs "oh trust me. it is tryin and testing me daily." he pets one of the cats that has gotten near "the cats make it worth it though."

Sans nods and leans on his fist "can't help but notice the little notice on your bullet board. the one about dream having messed up? What is the deal with that?"

Ccino frowns but figures out what this guy wants. curious dude it seemed who just wanted to learn stuff. Ccino shrugs "figured it would be good to keep the notice up for others."

Sans raises a brow "That is all?" He sounds... disappointed... maybe.

Ccino can't help but be a bit unnerved. this guy is really hard to read for some reason and he can't quite figure out why.

Ccino shrugs "I mean. It is also nice to see mister perfect mess up for once." ccino doesn't even fully mean it anymore. After Dream and him sat together and spoke?

ccino has more sympathy for him.

But Dream is also the reason Ccino isn't seeing Ngihtmare anymore and that shit still hurts and he is just worried about the other.

He really needs to get somekind of help because he is feeling protective over a god. that can't be healthy.

Sans chuckles and nods "Wiht that i can agree. Still weird that people would just think tiping the balance that badly would end well." he snorts and leans on his fist.

Ccino relaxes a bit and nods "exactly! Like. Sure i don't like being sad more than any other person and it sucks if bad things happen to you. but sometimes stuff jsut doens't go well and sometimes bad things happen! And i would honestly much prefer the ability to get pissed or sad about it over just the whole 'oh well! It could be worse!' attitude the whole time." it just sounds exhausting.

Ccino sighs and rubs his cheek "sorry for that." a glance.

Sans however doesn't seem bothered. those eye lights seem more intent for a moment and ccino feels himself freeze.

like a prey in the sight of a very very dangerous predator.

than the moment breaks and sans grins.

It is weird. he never actually did anything different with his eyes or anything. it was just the air around them. charged with danger. it is hard to explain.

Sans leans back "well it is nice to have some people agree with my unpopular opinion." he shrugs before poking the face down newspaper "what about the big news?"

Ccino huffs "i call bull. there is no way he is gone." he doesn't want to believe it. and unless he sees the dust of him himself or saw a video of him dying and actual solid proof Ccino will keep denying it.

Sans tilts his skull "you sound very secure. met him before?"

ccino almost answers honestly but pulls hismelf back. this is a stranger. and if anyone else knew that nightmare visits this place? No that is too much of a risk. Ccino wants this place to stay fully neutral and give his friend the ability to return here if he needs it.

Ccino shrugs "nope. never met him." ccino had gotten pretty good at lying.

sans just stares at him.

ccino just stares back. don't continue speaking. showing nerves can be a sign he is lying, which he very mcuh is, and he is trying to not get caught.

sans sighs "shame. i bet he would have liked the support."

ccino frowns and stares at sans "why do you say that? he had his whole gang right?"

sans looks a bit smugger and shrugs "still. he worked with those right? Must have sucked to be trying to fix soemthing for the good of the whole multiverse and yet have everyone curse you out and want you gone."

Ccino frowns and rubs his arm "yeah..." he imagined that before. there is a very good reason he was always excited to have nightmare visit. to have him take a seat and just drink and eat as the cats grew brave enough to attack the tendrils.

eventually nightmare would bring a book with him to read. and the few times ccino caught him having fallen asleep in the reading chair with multiple cats all over him.

yeah...

ccino has no doubt it was terrible for him.

sans nods and ccino shoots out of his thinking. fuck what could the other have seen on his face.

Sans stretches "anyway. i should head home. nice to meet you ccino." he waves and walks towards the door.

Ccino watches the other exit. he pulls up a hood and takes a sideways step through a portal that just opens for him.

weird.

Ccino frowns as he suddenly realises he never introduced himself. both himself and his guest. yet his guest did know his name.

Maybe he heard it from others or-

Ccino looks down as his hand suddenly touches somethign. a letter and a bunch of gold coins.

Ccino counts out the coins first and notices it is enough to cover a coffee and little pastry. yet the other never ordered anything?

next he grabs the letter. it is closed with a little seal with a crescent moon on it. He opens the letter and freezes.

Hello. there is someone who would like to talk to you and we think you would also like to talk to him. If you are open to speaking with him. Make sure your shop is closed for the public tomorrow. make sure the curtains are closed. In short? Do what you would normally do if NM visited you. Just make sure to do it over a whole day. If tomorrow this isn't done? We will assume you have no interest and move on. If anyone is there who shouldn't be or if you tell anyone about this? We will move on and assume you have no real interest. See you tomorrow Ccino.

At the end a small crescent moon image again.

Ccino feels his soul and head spin before he rushes to his printer and snatches a paper. he quickly writes down that for personaly reasons the store will be closed for the next day, and he makes sure to mark it with the actual date as well.

He puts it on the window of the door before rushing back to the counter and rereading the letter.

This could be a trap. He should contact the stars.

But honestly? He just wants to hope this is exactly as it says it is. He just really wants to see his friend again.

--

Hello Journal.

I am still getting used to writing in this but today was a good day and I had some big feelings again. And Dusty did say it helps to write those down.

The feeling didn't happen today but a few days ago. We were outside relaxing in the nice sunlight as we took our times to check the grapes. Oh I was with Ror that day.

Anyway. Suddenly Killer came running over looking very happy. Aparently the multiverse had decided that with how inactive i had become I probably died. So they declared me dead.

I didn't even know Killer went out into the multiverse still. I don't like that, I am afraid he will get in trouble but aparently that isn't something i have to worry about anymore.

When I first heard the news? I was happy. It was such a relieve. People will really leave me alone. For real this time.

The others were happy as well, I could tell! Cross cheered and picked me up to hug me while Horror sighed in pure relieve. Dust had nodded and offered we could celebrate by going to the tavern and enjoying our night there.

Then... I got sad all of the sudden. It confused me. Why would i be sad? Everyone would think i was gone. everyone would really leave me and my dads alone.

So why would I be sad? I wasn't even sure why and my dads didn't either. They thought it was about Dream and well... Dream always brings up complicated emotions but this was different.

Then I finally remembered. I remembered one of the few universes i liked to visit myself. It kinda felt like i got busted? When I told them about Ccino and his cafe. The spot i could just be for a while. Just exist without anythign important. kinda like a self imposed time out.

I hated that i told them. I sounded so ungrateful! Like i still wanted more. So i told them it was fine and i know why we are hiding. It is straight up for me after all. to keep me safe because i am weak and useless and-

No. Cross said not to let those thoughts run free. There. crossed out. much better.

Anyway... yeah.. I felt bad about it but they said they would look into it. Like they do when we plan to visit Dreamtale for the graves.

Well, that is it for now. I am still not sure how to sign these off... so... bye i guess? Until the next part. - NM

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[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

WG: hi Gunther: hi uh- sorry if i woke you up or something. i felt like calling. i don't know. WG: nah i was just… hanging. what's up? Gunther: ah uh- well. we're cutting our honeymoon short. Lilith had one of those really bad nightmares yesterday and she insists on going back with the kids. WG: seriously? it's not even been a whole week yet Gunther: it's that bad. i've never seen her this alarmed before Gunther: so uh- yeah. make sure to get Garrett from Caleb's before tomorrow night? please? she really needs the kids around. WG: yeah yeah. ahah. Bluma's gonna hate that Gunther: speaking of, i'm standing in the shore in my underwear because i want a starfish or something colorful and or shiny for said little lady. the sand feels horrible in my feet, i have to add. Gunther: how is she? WG: oh yeah. it's disgusting. WG: and she's doing excellent. Everything's excellent in fact; Bluma made a friend and Garry's first steps were right in front of me Gunther: …i'd need you to be more specific before i yell WG: i'm half joking. The house you and grandpa got includes a big freaking haunted maze, you geniuses. Gunther: what. WG: okay. I'll make a sum up. Gunther: i'd prefer all the details

WG: so are these forever or…? Caleb: oh no, nonono. well. not unless he learns or wants to control his mind controlling powers. Morgyn: if you ask me it' be fantastic to just glue those sunglasses on him WG: are you kidding? Garry's sick little powers could make us RICH Morgyn: and how exactly you plan on doing that? WG: dunno. infant robbery? i'm sure he'd love that Morgyn: my godness.

Bluma: the world has gone insane! all crazy! why'd they bring Garry back?! Bluma: not fair… and you! Jojo! Jojo why won't you sleep in the bed i made for your little body! Jojo: meow Bluma: i even gave you your own light because you've been on that basement for so long you must be scared of the dark! Jojo: mrow… Bluma: your- did your last owner let you sleep on his bed? is that why you don't like yours? Bluma: …what happened to them anyways? i saw the picture. Bluma: wish your kitty paws knew how to write… but i can't even read well either Gunther: hello my little flower Bluma: papa!!! Bluma: dad i missed you so much! so many things happened i really wanted you to see! Gunther: i know darling your uncle told me everything Bluma: all of it? Gunther: in big detail, yes. Even about your Jojo Gunther: how's he not dead? Bluma: dunno! Gunther: we need to get him checked in every way possible. The basement too, good lord. Garlic down there? Bluma: and ghosts! my kitty radio the Goth lady made spirit-y played a lot of music on it's own! Gunther: oh god Bluma: yes!! Gunther: now what are YOU so excited about Bluma: daaad!!! Gunther: …Bluma darling, there's something we need to talk about.

[enkas-illusion]

One of Your Guys

One of Your Guys - Part 2/3

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Choso x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, smut (oral, f.receiving), language, hurt/comfort, angst (kinda?), friends to lovers

Chapter Summary: Sorting out your feelings always feels like a nightmare, but it becomes a lot more bearable when your flatmate plays cupid to help you with it.

Author’s Note: This is a long ass chapter lol, could’ve split it in two but I wanted to commit to the 3-part story thing. Enjoy!

(P.S. Will probably post Part 3 this Saturday... I had a lot of fun writing it, to say the least)

Song Dedication: Those Eyes by New West / Carry Me Home by Jorja Smith & Maverick Sabre

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“Fuck… yes, right there,” you moan as you look down between your thighs. Choso’s eyes look up at you as he eats you out with a steady pace – sucking and licking at your pussy just as you like it.

Your legs shake as you chant his name on repeat. Your hands roam down to tug at his jet black hair, your back arching off the bed. The wet sound of his mouth against your core has the adrenaline rushing to your head, keeping you from thinking straight.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, almost there. Just a little bit more.

“Satoru… I’m clos-'' your words get caught in your throat as you look down with a blurry vision. The man between your legs stills his movement and sits up to move away from you.

“Satoru?” Choso lets out a chuckle in disbelief, “Is that who you belong to?” 

You open your mouth to talk but it feels like you’ve lost your voice and no matter how hard you try to speak, you simply can’t. Panic sets in and as if on cue, an incessant buzzing sound rings in your ears from your bedside table. As soon as you turn to the side to shut it off, your hand accidentally hits the edge of the table. 

Ouch.

That’s how you wake up the next day, in cold sweat and even more delirious than the night before. What the fuck was that? It’s as if your own mind is out to get you.

So much for wanting emotional clarity in the morning.

You grab the bottle from the side table, taking big gulps of water, almost emptying the entire thing before returning it back to its place. You tap on your phone to check the time – 02:54 PM – you’d slept in all through the morning.

Leaving your bed lazily, you walk towards the window to open the curtains slowly and let the light in. You’re glad the sun isn’t too harsh even though it’s late into the afternoon. You stretch a bit to release the stiffness in your body and your stomach growls. You’d barely eaten since last night, so naturally, you find yourself craving enough food to feed 10 people.

Feelings can wait, you decide, food can’t.

Just as you begin your walk to the kitchen, your doorbell rings and you reroute your steps to get the door instead. Just as you reach the door, the bell rings again.

“Patience, jezz!” you groan as you open the door. Before you’ve even opened it halfway, your flatmate barges in with her travel bags, dropping them to the floor as she gives you a bear hug.

“Miss me? It’s okay mama’s hereee.” Mia says in a sing-song tone as she squeezes and shakes you in her arms. You want to tease her and say no but this feels so comforting that you simply laugh as you nod your head and hug her back.

When she pulls away from you and observes you as you close the door, she states, “Wow, you look like shit, what happened?”

“I missed you real bad.” you say dryly. She gives you a stare down and in an effort to change the topic, you add, “Weren’t you returning in the evening?”

She places her bags near the foot of the sofa and drops to the sofa with her whole body weight. She moves to make some space when you sit next to her.

“Evening… afternoon… same thing… besides I had t-,” she pauses midway as she stares at you with wide eyes and your eyebrows knit together in confusion. Your eyes widen back at her when you see she’s not exactly staring at your face.

“Hold on, what the fuck is that???” she half yells, pointing at your hickey in sync with you slapping both your hands to your neck in a poor attempt to cover the entire area. 

Right, the hickeys. You weren’t actively aware that other people could see them, partly because, well… even you hadn’t registered everything from the previous night into your brain in a sane, rational, comprehensible manner. 

“Don’t tell me… Satoru?” she gasps as she leans forward to pull your hand away to inspect the mark near your collarbone. “To be honest, I didn’t think you had it in you to confess-”

“No… it’s not Satoru…” you say as you avoid her gaze and almost mumble the next part, “...Choso did that.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?” her eyes widen again as she squeals. Disbelief and amusement written all over her face. “Details! I want DETAILS!”

You take a deep breath and sigh as you tell her to freshen up before you get into it all. She protests but gets up quickly when she realises you’d delay giving her the gossip even further if she persisted. 

When Mia almost runs back to her room with her bags, you stare at her as you let out a chuckle in disbelief. Well, at least someone’s entertained.

You go to the kitchen and grab two packs of instant noodles. As you set the water on the stove for boiling, you go back to your room to take a shower to shake off the lethargic feeling that had taken over your body.

You wrap up your routine quicker than usual, knowing Mia would grow impatient if she had to wait longer than necessary whenever it came to ‘juicy drama’. 

When you get out of the bathroom in your room, you look at your reflection in the mirror as your fingers roam over the marks Choso had left on your skin. You feel the heat rise to your cheeks when you recall the sensation of his lips on you and then you remember the dream from less than an hour ago. You let out a sigh – you’re screwed, and it’s not the good kind.

You touch the bruise just below your left ear and move a few strands of hair over it. Your hair might do a good job at covering it, you just have to be careful not to flip it… or tie it up… or move too fast and basically freeze in place and you’ll be good.

The other hickey is much more prominent. It sits just slightly above your right clavicle. When you brush your fingers over it, it feels sensitive. This is going to be a task to cover up. You sigh again – something you’ve been doing a lot since yesterday. 

For now, you decide a round neck t-shirt would be good enough as you rummage through your closet. You get dressed quickly and walk to the kitchen. By the time you’re done serving the hot noodles in two bowls, you hear Mia’s footsteps from behind.

“Need any help?” she asks as she enters the kitchen. “Yes, can you please grab our coffee?” you say and you tilt your head in the direction of the two mugs on the counter. She takes the mugs and walks out, you follow behind with the noodle bowls.

The minute you set everything on the coffee table in front of the sofa, your roomie turns you around. You realise trying to cover up the hickeys was a futile effort as Mia yanks the neckline down to observe the mark above your collarbone.

You scrunch your face as she squeals with a series of ‘Ohmygodddddd, I can’t believe this actually happened. I CALLED IT! I told you! I told you it was gonna happen!!!’

You’ve been hearing one too many ‘I told you so’s for the last two days and so far none of them have been pleasant. 

“You done or should I take a nap while you fangirl?” you joke dryly as she gives you a side-eye and punches your shoulder playfully.

“Okay, tell me everything. That’s a deep mark, I just know he’s a freak! What was his dick like? I’m sure it’s big… It’s always the quiet ones!” She speaks so fast that any normal person would miss half of what she’d just said.

“I don’t know… because we never got to that part.” you reply sternly. She frowns at you and stares at you in confusion, waiting for you to continue.

You tell her everything from the top – about seeing the snaps from the party, calling Choso over, him comforting you, the accidental make out and his confession after. She interrupts you several times to ask for details when she catches you skimming over some parts. 

Nothing can ever get past Mia so you realise you might as well ask for her expert opinion on all of this. You’d always trusted her opinion when it came to matters of the heart since she’s always drawing from her own experiences. Mia is the type of person who has superior insight and introspective ability that you only wish to develop some day.

As you both hungrily gobble down the noodles and coffee, you also tell her that ever since Choso pointed it out, you’ve suddenly been awfully aware about how Satoru knew you had a crush on him but never cared enough to confront you about it.

“... and so I can’t help but feel that the reason I never told him I had a crush on him is because deep down I might’ve been scared of getting rejected. Because, if he knows I like him, it means that he ignored my feelings and kept me on a hook on purpose…” you trail off towards the end of your monologue, still grappling with all your half-cooked emotions.

“Hmm,” Mia ponders over your words, taking a brief pause before speaking up, “Satoru does like attention so I won’t be surprised if he gave you just enough signals to keep the crush alive but not enough to give you a clear indication of anything stronger… still, I doubt that dummy had any ill intention, maybe he thought your crush was surface level and not some deep infatuation.”

“Well, now I’m not even sure if I like him.” you almost whisper, embarrassed to admit it out loud.

“You’ve been pining over him for about 6 months.” Mia narrows her eyes at you.

“I know… but I can’t explain it. Now that I know Satoru never really considered me as a potential partner, it’s sort of making me realise how delusional I've been. I hadn’t felt anything all these years of us being friends so why did I suddenly like him just months ago? I hate liking him… it’s so frustrating!” you wonder out loud, hoping she’d have some answers.

Instead, she asks you something that you honestly have no answer to, “How do you know when you actually like someone?”

“You find them attractive and like spending time with them?” you answer as you think of Satoru. She urges you to continue, not satisfied with the surface-level shit. You think harder and add, “When tiny things remind you of them? It’s like you can find traces of them in your everyday life, even when sometimes the situation might not be related to them.” 

You’ve been picking at your nails but stop the movement as soon as you notice it. Mia stays quiet as you look up at her to continue.

“Oh! And you want to know their likes and dislikes, but not just the basics. You want to know their thoughts on something you like as well and you want to share more of you with them and get to know them more than anyone ever has.” you smile as you finish your analysis. But your smile quickly fades when you realise that Satoru wasn’t the one on your mind when you spoke the last few sentences.

“Look at you gooo,” Mia whistles, causing you to roll your eyes at her. As if it’s an intuitive thing for her, she asks, “Who was on your mind just now?”

Not Satoru.

“No one.” you know it’s not the answer she wants to hear. She’s too optimistic to believe you’d be more open about your feelings, no matter how confusing they might be. 

“You know what they say, you can lie to everyone else but yourself… all I can tell you is that if you didn’t think of Satoru then our poor blondie was just a placeholder.” she begins but you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Placeholder?” you interrupt to ask.

“Yes. You know how we’re always taught a romanticised version of love? It’s like, somewhere along the way, we mistake craving for love itself with craving for a particular person. You want to feel the feeling of being in love but you can’t possibly do that if the feeling itself has no face to it. So when I call him a placeholder, it’s in the way you channel your delusions of love through him when you may not even have any romantic feelings for him to begin with!”

You process everything that she says and as much as you dislike the way it is making you feel, deep down you know that her theory might apply to you more than you’d like to admit. 

She speaks up again after a brief pause, “You liked the feeling of crushing on someone because it signified that the romantic space in your heart wasn't empty… and who else could possibly be a better placeholder than your closest friend, Satoru?”

You stay silent. You feel exposed. As if your emotions had been bared out in the open without your permission. The kind of emotions that are too rough to be brought to the surface. Emotions that only ever seem decent when you present a polished, snipped version of them to the outside world.

Mia is aware of this. She knows this all too well because she’d been in your position way too many times. She pulls you out of your thoughts as she speaks up again.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” she squeezes your hand gently. You give her a smile despite still feeling like you’re tripping over the heavy realisation you just had. “Let’s watch something?”

She turns the TV on and sees Bridgerton under your ‘Continue Watching’ tab and lets out a tiny giggle as she wiggles her eyebrows at you. You punch her arm lightly.

“Maybe you can text Choso about continuing the show... ‘Heyyy, do you want to come over and finish where we left off.’” she says, trying to mock you with a sexy voice and it makes you laugh.

Mia ends up picking a random 2000s romcom and you both doze off on the sofa by the time the credits roll. When you wake up, it’s already quite late, so you order some food and call it a night when you’re done with dinner.

—

The whole week passes by quicker than expected since you were mostly busy with work during the day and busy pondering over what the recent reversal of your crush on Satoru means moving forward.

By the time Saturday arrives, you feel as if you have sorted out your feelings in the best way you possibly could. There was nothing to fix when it came to Satoru since you’d stopped feeling miserable over him. In your mind, he’d already gone back to being your close friend but at the same time, you were awfully aware that the only thing you really missed about crushing on him was the placeholder phenomenon Mia had described so well.

As for Choso, it was a whole different thing. You completely ignored any thoughts about him that arose in your mind for about 3 days after the kiss. Afterall, you’d accused him of thinking with his dick that night, it’d be hypocritical if you felt attracted to him just because you made out.

So after not texting him for a week, here you were, contemplating texting him as you sat in the living room. He hadn’t texted you all week either, you debate to yourself. 

Well, can you blame him? 

You take a deep breath as you text him, asking him if he had time for hot chocolate. He replies with a simple ‘yes’ after what feels like forever (15 minutes later).

Not wanting to bother him with the task when he arrives, you prepare two cups of hot chocolate and keep them at their place on the coffee table as you wait for your doorbell to ring eagerly.

You almost sprint to the door when the bell rings five minutes later. You rub your sweaty hands on the fabric of your t-shirt before opening the door with a wide smile. He returns your smile as he walks in and past you to sit on the sofa.

No hugs. Okay.

You notice his hair is pulled up in a sweaty bun with his gym bag placed near his feet.

“You were at the gym?” you inquire.

“Hmm. Texted you when I was wrapping it up.” he replies as he takes one of the cups. You sit next to him and grab the other one.

You’re almost offended at him going to the gym alone. For about 4 months now, you’d been going together on the weekends since your weekday schedules don’t align well enough to make it to the gym at the same time. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” you ask, your voice sounds dejected although you’d tried masking it well. 

“Figured you’d want some space.” he replies curtly. You want to yell at him to stop being so formal. You miss your Choso.

“Choso,” you sigh as you look at him, waiting for him to meet your gaze. When he does, you speak again, “A lot happened and I needed time to process it all. You were right about it all, about Satoru ignoring me and me doing the same to you. I’m so sorry that I made you feel as if you were only an emotional support friend. I wish I could show you how much you mean to me.”

You notice the stiffness in his shoulders ease a bit at your words. Taking it as a positive sign you continue, “I won’t lie, but I haven’t really seen you in a romantic light since I’ve been blindly crushing over Satoru… not to say that I don’t find you attractive! You’re hot- but that’s besides the point… the point is, can we be friends first? I’d really like to know you for who you are, without all of our talks being overshadowed by me ranting about some stupid crush.”

You almost believe your words did more damage than good before you see a smile break on Choso’s otherwise resting face. You smile back at him.

It’s his turn to speak now, “I think I can handle that… but I believe you’re being too harsh on yourself. While your crush has been a constant topic of conversation, you’ve been a good friend regardless. You have been there for me whenever I needed a friend to talk to and you always listen to me rant about work or whatever just as much.”

You nod at him to continue.

“I’d say we already know each other pretty well. But of course, I'll always want to know more about you… what can I say? You’ve piqued my interest and it’s been hard to let go since.” he pinches your cheek as you feel a blush creep up your face.

You push his hand away but it’s only to get closer to hug him. He wraps his arms around your waist, completely enveloping you into his space, but it's far from invasive – it’s more welcoming than ever. You bury your face into his neck, breathing in the soothing scent of oud and jasmine, mixed with a tiny hint of sweat.

“So, how are things on the Satoru front? You’re almost making it sound as if you’ve lost interest.” he jokes when you pull away, secretly hoping his intuition is right.

You briefly tell him about your talk with Mia, leaving out the part where you’d told your roomie all about the makeout sesh. He raises an eyebrow at the placeholder theory but simply nods as he thinks it over in his head.

“So you really are over him?” He asks once again. Even if he intends to seek reassurance, you can’t tell by the way his tone is almost indifferent. 

You joke about his crush on you being a similar type of thing and you bet him that he’ll soon realise he doesn’t like you like he thought he did.

“You’re a lot more than a placeholder to me, baby.” he pouts at you before swiftly getting up to take the empty cups back to the kitchen, not giving you time to react. You watch his back, baffled at how daring and straightforward Choso can get sometimes.

He returns at the same time Mia comes out of her room, yawning as she covers her mouth.

“Hey Choso, how are you?” she smiles slyly at him. There’s a sudden shift in his body language and you realise Mia’s presence has suddenly made him nervous. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

He’s aware you’ve told her about him.

And based on how well he knows you, he’s certain you’ve given Mia an unabridged version of the events of last Saturday. He greets her back with an awkward ‘sup’ and you can’t help but think of it as a boyfriend-meets-parents type of situation.

Your amusement is visible on your face and Mia catches onto it. What she says next surprises you.

“Good thing you’re here. I was just inviting people over for my birthday weekend next weekend.” she smiles at him.

“Birthday weekend?” Choso asks.

“Yup, so each year, the people whose birthdays lie on and/or closest to the weekend, they get a whole weekend where they’re the boss and everyone else in the group has to strictly follow whatever they’ve planned for the whole group.” she explains.

Choso looks at you, already loving being invited to something like this. “But don’t get your hopes up too high! Mia is a homebody so we’re all probably going to be trapped at home baking stuff or something like that.” you add, nonetheless, his excitement doesn’t fade. 

He tells Mia he’ll be looking forward to it and hugs you both like he’s about to leave. This time you ask him to stay to finish the last 2 episodes of Bridgerton. He thinks it over hesitantly but agrees. The only difference this time is that Mia has joined you on the sofa. You don’t complain though, since the last thing you needed right now was to be left alone with Choso while watching steamy sex scenes from the final episodes.

When Choso eventually leaves, you express your surprise to Mia at her inviting him for the birthday weekend, which almost always, only involves your tiny group consisting of Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, Kento, Mia and you.

“Think of it as me playing cupid babe”, she pouts as she makes kissing sounds at you and you palm her face to push her away. She giggles, “My plan is to keep everyone trapped in the house for two whole days, it’ll be so boring, it’ll ironically be so much fun. And you get to spend all your time with your loverboy.”

“He’s not my loverboy,” you protest.

“Oh yeah? Say that to his cute ass puppy eyes that always fixate on you whenever he hears you laugh. He’s so gone for you, it’s almost sickening to watch, being a third wheel.”

“Give it a rest… dear lord!” you say but you can’t help but feel another blush forming on your cheeks due to her constant teasing.

You were trying your best not to like Choso romantically, you wanted to give it time to make sure you weren’t liking him as just another placeholder.

—

The next week passes by just as quickly. The only difference is that this time you constantly find yourself taking tiny breaks from work to text Choso. You feel great relief when he texts you back with the same enthusiasm… or maybe he’s always been that way and you’re the one who’s just now noticing it.

Mia had explained her plan for the birthday weekend on your friends’ group chat. The plan was for everyone to gather at your place on Friday evening, along with whatever essentials they needed to hibernate for the next two days. You call it hibernate because Mia’s one rule for the weekend was that nobody would step outside the apartment at any cost, unless someone had an emergency only as grave as a heart attack.

Psychopath would be a harsh word, but, hypothetically speaking, if Mia were given a chance to take part in one of those human psychological experiments, she'd do it happily while dragging the rest of the group with her.

However, on the upside, Mia was a gamer girl through and through. It was kind of perfect because you, on the other hand, were a card game expert of sorts. It was a simple plan really –  games, drinks, movies – yet if you were to ask Satoru and Shoko’s opinion on the matter, they’d protest by saying something along the lines of a party isn’t a party unless you bar-hop while getting shitfaced drunk at 3am.

On Friday evening, as soon as you return from work, you and Mia clean the apartment for your friends’ welcome. You arrange the card games and snacks on the table before freshening up.

You’d informed Choso about the plan as well and he’d texted you half an hour ago that he’d be there in 30 minutes. You run to your room to check your outfit in the mirror once again. You straighten out the fabric of your skorts and pull at the hem of your sweatshirt. 

Casual but cute — you did not want to make it seem as if you dressed up to stay at home but you figured you could at least look a bit presentable. You touch up your lipgloss and convince yourself it’s strictly to protect your lips from cracking due to the cold.

When the bell rings, you feel as if the inside of your stomach does a backflip. You hurriedly walk out of your room and see Mia at the door, welcoming Choso in. He’s wearing a vivid indigo blue sweater with black sweatpants. The feeling in your stomach returns when you observe his soft hair pushed back and tucked behind his ears with a few tiny strands kissing his forehead.

He gives her a side hug as he hands her a long black box wrapped with a golden ribbon. You walk towards them and you swear you see his smile grow when he looks at you. He puts his hand out to you and you grab it. With a smooth movement, he pulls you to him while his other arm wraps around your shoulder. The hug is brief yet it makes you feel giddy.

Shit. Staying platonic with him is going to be one hell of a task.

“...hope it won’t be awkward for your other friends.” your thought breaks when you hear him talk to Mia. 

“No, not at all! Don’t worry, they’re all pretty chill!” Mia reassures him. Choso has met your group a handful of times so they are, what one would consider, mutuals, but he’s only friends with you and Mia in the real sense of the word.

“What did you get?” you ask him, looking at the wrapped box in Mia’s hands. He gestures for her to open it. Her smile grows as she pulls out the big bottle of scotch, waving it around in excitement.

“Thank you for aiding my borderline alcoholism with my drink of choice.” she jokes as she bows at him.

“Always glad to help.” he laughs as he bows his head to mimic her. You smile to yourself, happy that he’s so attentive and considerate of everyone close to him. “By the way, where do I keep my bag?” he asks, sliding his backpack off his shoulder.

“You can keep it in my room… everyone is probably going to dump everything there since Mia’s room has their precious xbox setup.” you say as he smiles and makes his way to your room. Mia goes to the kitchen to keep the bottle somewhere it’s safe and sound.

When Choso returns, he observes the decks of multiple card games, arranged on the table. There’s Dobble, Monopoly Deal, UNO, and chess as well. You had to restrain yourself from bringing out all the other games you had since you did not want to overwhelm your friends with too many options.

“Which one is your favourite?” he asks.

“Kamo… would you pick favourites if you ever had kids?” you retort.

“Yes.” he says with a straight face, “now, answer me.” His tone makes you snort but you grab the tin with the Dobble cards as you explain how it works. Mia returns from the kitchen and you offer her to join your game but she makes up some excuse to go back to her room, leaving you alone with Choso. You have a feeling she’s going to try to manufacture such moments for the two of you throughout the whole weekend.

You have three clean wins before Choso starts getting frustrated at his loss. “How on earth can you spot them so quickly!?”

You shrug, smug about your wins. When you draw the next hand, the bell rings and you turn your head to look towards the door. Mia comes out to get it and you hear Choso yell, “GOT IT!” causing you to turn back to the cards.

“Hey! It doesn’t count, I wasn’t paying attention.” you complain.

“Not my fault. We’d drawn the cards already.” he says, grinning with a pleased look on his face. You know he's not going to concede so you let it go.

“I wasn’t aware we were allowed to bring plus one this time?” you hear Satoru’s voice behind you. You turn around to roll your eyes at him. He’s leaning down to your side with a wide grin and his arms extended. You hook your arm around his waist to give him a side hug.

“I invited him, he’s replacing you since you’re so busy nowadays.” Mia speaks up and you press your lips to keep yourself from laughing. He presses his hands to his chest dramatically as if Mia’s words have physically wounded him.

You crinkle your nose to cringe at him and you sense Choso looking at you. But as soon as you look back at him, he turns his head down as he grabs all the cards to put them back in the tin.

“Quitting already?” you tease him. He looks up at you and smirks, “No, there’s enough people to play Monopoly now. You just wait and watch how I smoke you.”

“What makes you so sure? You don’t know who you’re up against.” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Hmmm… wanna bet?” He challenges you. 

You smile cockily, “Deal, what’s at stake?”

“Oh, nothing too bold… maybe just your heart and soul.” he teases you. You bite the insides of your cheeks to keep yourself from blushing at his comment and break eye contact to lean towards the table to grab the deck of Monopoly Deal.

You fail to notice that Satoru had already started drawing conclusions based on the tiny interaction he witnessed between you and Choso. As he walks to the kitchen with Mia, he half whispers, “Is it just me o-”

“Nope. you’re seeing it right.” she interrupts him.

“Since when did Choso, of all people, get so close with her?” he inquires.

“Haha, blondie… you have no idea!” Mia chuckles, amused. “Why? You jealous?” 

He snickers at her question, “No.”

“Good.”

The conversation ends there and he knows better than to push it further. As the duo returns, carrying four glasses of homemade lemonade mixed with vodka, you jump up to walk towards them to grab two of them and hand one to Choso. He thanks you with a smile and you return it.

When Mia suggests it, you all sit on the floor around the table comfortably as you distribute the cards for everyone.

When you win the first game of Monopoly, you stick your tongue out at Choso. He didn’t seem to mind losing at all, nonetheless, he feigned hurt, “Damn, do I really need to give you my heart and soul now?”

With the alcohol getting to you, you felt brave enough to flirt with him as you replied back in an instant, “I thought you’d already given your heart to me?”

His eyebrows raise up in surprise as he lets out a chuckle. He drags your name out as he speaks, “You know I consider myself to be a romantic of sorts, but that’s too cheesy even for me!” you slap his arm as both of you start laughing as if it’s the funniest thing ever, almost forgetting that Mia and Satoru are right there in the room with you two.

You only turn to look at Satoru when he clears his throat. “Oh right… When is the rest of the gang getting here?” you ask Satoru.

“Check the group chat, they’ve texted.” he replies curtly. And you can’t help but feel as if he’s acting a bit cold. Usually you’d brush it off as just overthinking, or blame it on the alcohol but you’re certain that throughout the game, he has been actively ignoring you.

The awkwardness of the situation dissipates a little when Shoko, Kento and Suguru arrive about an hour later. When the clock strikes midnight, everyone hands Mia their presents but everyone is too drunk to care what the others have gotten her.

You’d be lying if you said you remembered anything about the events of Friday night through Sunday morning. The photos and videos on your phones are the only evidence you have of a time well spent. There was a lot of gossip, cheating at card games, fighting for turns on the Xbox, laughing at shit jokes, crying at sappy hallmark movies and an incident where you and Mia almost set the kitchen on fire, trying to bake a batch of brownies for everyone. You were barred from entering the kitchen all day after that and it was followed by a long debate about how it was against your rights as owners to be banned from your own kitchen. You gave up on trying to forcefully enter the kitchen after a while, since five people against two wasn’t really a fair battle.

So Sunday morning, it was a collective decision to stay sober to avoid being hungover at work the next day. Not like you guys had a choice anyway, since all the booze had been wiped out in the last 36 hours, not even Choso’s fancy scotch had survived the night. It was all a haze, to say the least.

Although you vaguely remember Choso and you sharing a few moments alone from time to time, you also remember all of them being interrupted, mostly by Satoru. You make a mental note of wanting to confront Satoru sometime soon.

Sometime soon arrives Sunday evening when Satoru walks in on you and Choso making hot chocolate in the kitchen. You’d been talking to Choso about who had the highest tolerance among the group.

You’re pressed to his side with your head resting on his shoulder as he leans against the counter. “...far from it. You’re a lightweight!” Choso calls your bullshit.

“No, listen… I vibe easily, I don’t get drunk easily. There’s a difference.” you protest.

He pinches your cheek, teasing, “okay baby… whatever you say.”

You try to elbow him but stop your movement when you hear Satoru enter the kitchen, “Are you making hot chocolate?”

You’re slightly annoyed at his feigned innocence since you’d already asked the entire group if they wanted hot chocolate, like, 5 minutes ago. He had declined then.

“Cool, can I get one too?” he asks.

“Sure.” you leave Choso’s side as you grab another mug to prepare the drink. 

Sensing the tension, Choso excuses himself politely, “I’m outside, okay?” he squeezes your shoulder before walking out of the kitchen.

“You seem pretty close.” Satoru comments. You put the mug in the oven before you turn around to look at him.

“Satoru… what is it?” you sigh.

“Nothing… I’m just surprised you got over me so quickly.” he says playfully.

Oh, so you’re having this conversation right now.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now? What do you mean moved on? What was there to move on from… you ignoring my feelings and only keeping me on the hook whenever you wanted attention?” you sound far from playful.

“Ouch.” he says quietly. Maybe talking to you about this was a bad idea.

“Look… I’m sorry if me having a crush on you made you uncomfortable. I’d hate for things to be awkward now after being such close friends all these years. But I’m sad that you sort of led me on and toyed with my emotions for your own amusement.” you add as you look down.

There’s a moment of silence. Then Satoru moves towards you to hug you. He pats your head with one hand while the other rubs your back.

“I had no idea that having a crush on me made you so miserable. We’ve always been flirting with each other platonically, I initially thought it was the same thing. When I realised you were serious about it, I figured that maybe it would fade without us needing to address it.” he says softly.

“No, to be honest, I realised quite recently that I don’t really like you like that.” you interrupt him.

“Yeah, no shit. You’ve been flirting with him all weekend.” he laughs. You blush out of embarrassment. 

He continues, “But that’s besides the point. I’m sorry, okay? I’ve designated you as my best frien– don’t tell Suguru. I admit I did like the attention so I'm sorry for hurting you, even if it might’ve been unintentional for the most part. ”

You look up at him as you raise your eyebrows at him. Satoru isn’t the kind to apologise easily.

“Gojo Satoru is apologising to me?” you smirk at him.

“Don’t milk it. You know I really mean it, I'm truly sorry. I can also allow you one punch anywhere besides my face and crotch to prove it. I’ll always love you, you’re my homie.” he says pulling you closer into the hug. You wrap your arms around him, smacking the area near his lower back a bit too hard. You catch him by surprise as he jerks away from your touch, letting out a loud ‘ahh’.

“Jeez, what a b–,” he pauses, clearing his throat as he extends his arm out to you, “We’re even now, cool?” 

“Okay, cool.” you smile at him. “So, how’s it going with your new girl?”

“Oh it’s pretty chill. Nothing serious though. We like each other but we both agreed that it’s pretty casual.” he explains.

“Really? I was under the impression that you were falling in love and shit.” 

“How can I love someone else when I got you?” he teases as he ruffles your hair. You glare at him with a murderous intent. 

“I’m kidding!” he adds, laughing, “But no, I’m not falling in love so soon. I always thought I’d fall in love in my mid 30s. Seems like the perfect age to fall in love.” 

You shake your head, “Satoru, you dummy… love doesn’t work on your schedule. It happens when it is meant to happen! If you don’t go all the way in, deep in your feels with someone, you won’t even recognize it if love arrives in your life.”

“Okay sensei… seems like you know a lot about going all the way in deep. Is Choso also going in deep?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You cringe at his crass innuendo but nonetheless blush at the mention of Choso’s name.

“Maybe it's none of your business!” you retort. He shrugs as he puts his hands up in defeat.

“Come out soon, we’re gonna watch another romcom.” he says as he walks past you.

“Wait, your hot chocolate?” you ask as you see him walking out of the kitchen.

“Nah, on second thought, I don’t want it anymore.” he says as he leaves. You stand there as you watch him go, with equal parts amusement and equal parts disbelief.

This is the Satoru you knew, your annoying best friend and not the romanticised version of him you had in your head. You feel peaceful for a split second as you finally sense things return back to normal, before your mind wanders to thoughts of Choso. 

Can you redirect your love where it can actually be reciprocated? You’re aware that you’d been growing fond of him with every minute you spend together… but are you certain he’s not just someone you’re using to fill the vacancy in your heart?

~~~

taglist: @lik0 @hueanhdang @dellalyra @personomy

[dr5amatic]

AGAINST THE NIGHT ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel a torch against the night by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

how did they find us so fast?

if your sins were blood, you would drown in a river of your own making.

you ask what am i, but what are you?

stay out of the way. no matter how bad it looks, don't interfere, don't try to help.

when the fear takes over, use the only thing more powerful, more indestructible, to fight it: your spirit. your heart.

we have to keep going. we have to get out of the city.

if something happens to me, don't fear.

you took long enough. i’ve waited hours.

if you think i need an army to destroy you, you are mistaken.

don’t falter now, fool. you’ll regret it.

bad luck to lie to a comrade-in-arms.

do you enjoy it? the hurt you cause? the pain? i can see it. you carry it with you. why? does it bring you happiness?

i don’t mean to–i don’t want to hurt people.

you destroy all those who get close to you.

you are dead, you just don’t know it yet.

you’ve been blacked out for hours. i thought you might not wake up.

don’t you dare fade out on me again.

i can’t do this without you.

stay. don’t go back. i need you.

i’m going to hurt you. i hurt everyone. 

try to stay. you were gone for so long last time, and i need you to stay.

tell me another story. tell me another memory. something good.

if you care for [name], then do not let [name] care for you.

like the poison that rages within you, you have no antidote.

willpower alone cannot change one’s fate.

thirteen fractures is nothing.

i’m about as good with tears as i am with declarations of love.

every time i stare into your eyes, i see my nightmares.

now you seem older and harder and, perhaps most terrifyingly, wiser.

he insisted that killing you would lead to my doom.

to be honest, i’m tempted to slit your throat just to see what happens. perhaps i still will.

i’m yours to command, my lord.

i don’t have allies. i have people who owe me things and people who want things and people who use me and people whom i use.

you swore to be the sword that executes my will. now is the chance to prove your loyalty.

i need him dead and i want you to be the one who kills him. 

i want you to watch the light die in his eyes. i want him to know it’s the person he cares for most in the world who shoved a blade through his heart.

i want it to haunt you for all your days.

he’s sly enough to escape the bounty hunters quite easily, but you and i both know that he would never be able to escape you.

how do i kill the man i love?

forgive me, but how can you speak to me of obsession?

small victories have made you daring. do not let them make you stupid.

you have your orders. carry them out.

it will destroy you if you’re not careful.

would you care to hear my theory?

your injuries tell me you’ve seen battle.

the problem with greedy people is that they think everyone is as greedy as they are.

we’re surrounded.

i’ll catch you.

almost there. stay with me now.

i’m glad you’re alright and i know you’re risking so much to do this for me. thank you.

you kept me alive. you kept yourself alive. 

you’re as brave as your mother. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

i can’t help the people i’ve hurt. i can’t change what i did to them. 

if i do this, then perhaps i’ll make up for some of the evil i’ve brought into this world.

how sure are you?

as long as you want to save him, then i will help you. i made a vow. i’m not going to break it.

i swore fealty. you made me swear fealty.

i trusted you. i believed you. i did what you wanted.

do not let despair take you. hold true to your heart.

this is what it means to have faith, to believe in something greater than yourself.

the blood, it won’t come off. it’s–it’s everywhere. 

most successful missions are just a series of badly averted disasters.

either we lost them, or they’re being very clever about keeping themselves hidden. i’m thinking the latter.

you want to talk now? after weeks of not even looking at me?

i look at you even when i shouldn’t.

i am the last person who will judge you for killing in your own defense. look at what i am. look at my life.

i left you alone because i thought you might find comfort in solitude. 

so much death. it’s everywhere. what’s the point then of living? will i ever escape it?

your emotions make you human. even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. don’t lock them away. if you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.

why do you do that? you close yourself up. you shut me out because you don’t want me to get close. what about what i want? you won’t hurt me, [name].

i don’t trust you, not about this.

do not pull rank with me.

don’t take offense, but i don’t know you. so you’ll forgive me if i don’t trust you.

how long until they kill each other, d’you think? and who strikes first?

i won’t hurt you, but you can’t let fear take you.

i’m hurt, [name]. you’re not nearly as friendly as the first time we met.

if you do betray me, i will not go down without a fight.

even your ally is helping us. more reason for you to do the same.

you didn’t get to where you are by breaking promises. grant my favor. fighting it is a waste of time.

it has changed you, [name]. it does matter.

always so afraid of the darkness within. don’t you see? so long as you fight the darkness, you stand in the light.

i’ve been looking all over for you. stay with me! we have to get out of here.

i’ll distract them and meet you there.

you were my best friend. i can’t just throw that away.

don’t. don’t call me that. everybody calls me that. but not you..

i wouldn’t expect you to understand.

i have to leave, but i don’t want to hurt you. i’m so sick of hurting people.

i miss you. i’ll always miss you. even when I’m a ghost.

keep your head down and stay.

family is worth dying for, killing for. fighting for them is all that keeps us going when everything else is gone.

i know what it is to do things that you don’t want to for a greater good.

you are my temple. you are my priest. you are my prayer. you are my release.

we both know I’m not long for this world.

exhaustion makes for failed missions.

i’m the reason he’s dead.

sleep where you wish. i will not disturb you.

atop all else, are you an oathbreaker too?

keep your vow to me, and i will bring order to this empire. betray me, and watch it burn.

i hope i see you again.

forget that you did not say goodbye–you did not even give me a chance to object to your decision.

secrets are a snake’s way of doing business.

the vow I made to you, it was all for nothing.

most people are nothing but glimmers in the great darkness of time. but you, [name], are no swift-burning spark. you are a torch against the night–if you dare to let yourself burn.

you see assurances. i can offer you none.

breaking your fealty will have its cost, as will keeping it. only you can weigh those costs.

you think knowing will make it easier, but knowing makes it worse.

knowing is a curse.

stay alive. protect them. help any others you can. that’s the only payment i expect i’ll get.

what honor is there in a useless death?

how’s this for a trade: you tell me what i want, and i don’t gut you.

in the cold, you don’t realize how much you’re pushing yourself. you’ll collapse if you’re not careful.

we won’t get anywhere if we’re dead.

you’ll exhaust yourself into illness.

pain is how you know you loved her.

i wish didn’t remember. i wish i didn’t love her.

what point is there in being human if you don’t let yourself feel anything?

you’re not afraid. why aren’t you afraid?

true suffering lies in the expectation of pain as much as in the pain itself.

are we fools for finding comfort in the midst of such madness?

what is there to live for if not the moments of joy? what is there to fight for?

give me your guilt, i’ll hold it for you.

why didn’t you listen to me? look at you.

you always think everyone is your responsibility, but we’re not.

you are loved, you are not alone, and you deserve to know that.

you said i didn’t have to do it alone.

you brood and make questionable choices that put your own life at risk, but you’re a good person.

failure doesn’t define you. it’s what you do after you fail that determines whether you are a leader or a waste of perfectly good air.

what did we fight for if it was just going to end like this?

it is as if your very fate is to leave a trail of destruction.

you have repented long enough.

[plantyberry]

Cloudcuckoolander Tally Part 2: Chapter 1-2 and 1-2-2: The Polo Club, or, 'Carrots save lives, but have you tried the apples yet?'

Coming in hot with the second part of my.. Thing (I'm not sure it can be called a guide), here are the many CuckooPoint-granting options there, although with some caveats. Some fears will lock you out of some picks, and so will your relationship with Adrian (As I mentionned in the previous part)

Therefore, for the sake of maximum point granting, please take care to keep those in mind:

-Friends or more with Adrian -Gadgetry as a hobby -NOT have the following fears: Blood, Fear -Greed will help

And now, let us move on for The Points!

Adrian and your past relationship: (Already mentionned last segment, but a reminder doesn't hurt)

If friends (or more) with Adrian + Gadgetry as a hobby: -I just did what the Magic 8-Ball told me to do. +1 Cuckoo

After that, check your MAGICAL GRIMOIRE (You phone) and you will see a message from Adrian (need friends or more) about the horses being spooked. -Do you think its the werewolves? Its always the werewolves. I'll bring the wolfsbane. +1 Cuckoo

Adrian reacting to your clothes: (Already mentionned last segment, but a reminder doesn't hurt)

Red Cape + Frame = 3 or height = tall: -"Little?" I wonder if Adrian has suddenly gone blind. --"Aye, Aye, fairy godmother." +1 Cuckoo

Vampire Cape: +1 Cuckoo -Strike a stereorypical vampire pose. +1 Cuckoo --"No promises" +1 Cuckoo

Tuxedo: -"Actually, I was planning to wear these clothes during practice." --"It will totally be worth it to see everyone's reaction to me riding around in a tux." +1 Cuckoo

Spandex Tracksuit: -"It's a tracksuit, Adrian. Why would I change my clothes again?" I ask 'innocently'. -- I say nothing, I merely start dancing the Tango de la Muerte. +1 Cuckoo (and the Keikaku achievement)

And now, for the conversation topics…

I make some light chitchat to break the ice.

-"So, how has your day been?" I ask Foreshadow. +1 Cuckoo

I ask about something that's been bothering me.

None! It is woefully bereft of cloudcuckoolander points and therefore may as well not exist.

I launch right into the meat of the matter.

-"There was a murder during my last work shift…" --(if police)I begin to describe my brilliant werewolf culprit theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if reporter, paramedic)"All I have to say is… zombies." +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo --(if lab technician) In the end, this is the work of werewolves… +1 Cuckoo --(if wildlife biologist) I elucidate in great detail upon the nitty-gritty details regarding my genius mutant bear theory. +1 Cuckoo ---I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo (Whenever applicable) I'm not joking but I pretend that I am in a brilliant double-blind maneuver. +2 Cuckoo

-"So I was recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist…" -- Show your bruised arm to Adrian ---"What? I find this situation perfectly normal." ----I'm not being sarcastic. +1 Cuckoo (Note: If your cuckoo score is under 5, you gain +1 Denial instead)

-"It seems that my apartment may be a little bit haunted…" --"I don't know, man, that bedroom ghost sounded pretty sexy." ---Obviously, I'm not joking. +1 Cuckoo

I launch into a long involved story regarding my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. -(follow the 'recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist' answer line) --"I blame the poltergeist. Also the werewolves, potential zombies, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that mutant fairies may be involved," you ramble. +1 Cuckoo

I believe actions speak louder than words

-I silently whip out my thirteen-page description of my past day including all details regarding my past work shift, my nightmare and strange injury, as well as the current haunted atmosphere of my apartment. --I wave my arms around in my best impression of a haunting ghost. +1 Cuckoo ---I reenact a scene from an earlier Knights of Our Lives episode that just so happened to appear in my dreams before. +1 Cuckoo (MC needs to know who Caleb is) ----I spin in a circle while twirling my arms. Surely Adrian will understand my meaning. +1 Cuckoo

Outside / Event prompts:

For a moment you think you see something dark and hulking lumbering behind the nearby red trailer, but the image vanishes within a single blink of your eyes. -Perhaps it was the werewolf that ate Caleb Degaré? +1 Cuckoo (You need to know who Caleb is)

If you deny foreshadow some treats twice (No treats for Foreshadow, those are meant for my own horse.), he will start chewing on your duffel bag. -I chew on the duffel bag myself. +1 Cuckoo

Not to mention part owner of the entire stable of polo ponies

-But the more rodeo clowns, the better. +1 Cuckoo

Post-Adrian Greetings

Talking about Arthur: "I just want to know if he's secretly a zombie/werewolf/mutant. He is, isn't he?" +1 Cuckoo I wonder if I accidentally left my apartment on fire this morning. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if an African swallow could really carry a coconut? +1 Cuckoo I hold up my phone with a Monty Python and the Holy Grail meme about coconuts on its screen. +1 Cuckoo I wonder if one of those sword swallower people could gulp down Excalibur? It'd be handy to be your own sheath. +1 Cuckoo (Requires Arthuriana fanatic)

Asking about the Apocalypse: "Pure unfiltered meta knowledge." +1 Cuckoo (Note: This one also gives +1 Corruption, be careful if you play some specific combos)

Ask how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. +1 Cuckoo

Approaching the trailer

-"You ever wonder what the color red would taste like if you could eat things with your eyes?" +1 Cuckoo

After the trailer

-I tell everyone who'll listen about the strange sounds in the trailer. --(If vice = Greed) I wonder if I could learn to juggle the polo balls? +1 Cuckoo

The Polo Match begins

-I wonder if a polo mallet could be used to eat crabs? +1 Cuckoo

The runaway horse

Most of the options here are tied to having a good end to the incident (which relies on having a non-possessed MC), make of that what you will~

If you didn't try to rescue Pippa, but you fed a treat to Foreshadowing (Adrian does the rescue)

-"WHOOO!" I loudly cheer the arrival of the other riders. --(If cuckoo and silent > 7) At least I don't have a gaping maw. +1 Cuckoo

If you didn't try to rescue Pippa, but didn't feed a treat to Foreshadowing (Adrien gets injured)

-I hurriedly trot over to where Adrian lies prone in the middle of the polo field. --If we'd been riding Velociraptors, I bet this never would've happened. +1 Cuckoo

If you go Rescue Pippa (Need Greed or Fear level < 10, and fear must not be 'fear') -I start humming the theme song from the original Batman TV series. +1 Cuckoo

If you are unwillingly rescuing Pippa -I'm not screaming, I'm yodeling! +1 Cuckoo

To avoid faling off the saddle during the attempt if you ride Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream, after the creature attacked the trailer, wait a few times until the narration says the poney exhales.

If you slip from the saddle (Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream): -I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight? +1 Cuckoo

If you fail the second stat check to rescue Pippa: -GERONIMO! +1 Cuckoo

If you ride Knight Rider/Midsummer Knight Dream or (Queen of Knight/Fly by Knight fed at least once), and (Body>=30 / Charm + body >=50) and unlock the following option:

Once more… -"I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!" +1 Cuckoo

If you ride Queen of Knight/Fly by Knight or (Knight Rider/Midsummer Knight Dream fed at least once), and (Body>=20 / Charm + body >=40) and unlock the following option:

Whatever happens, don't let go. -Da da da da da… Batmaaaaaaan! +1 Cuckoo

If you successfully rescued Pippa: -Rodeo rider, hmm… I see the possibilities. +1 Cuckoo

Post Rescue:

(If not mindcontrolled) "Did anyone else see that strange thing on the hill?" --"…a zombie wolf?" +1 Cuckoo --"…a werewolf in wolf form." +1 Cuckoo --"…a mutant wolf-bear-shark hybrid?" +1 Cuckoo

If you slipped off the saddle with either Knight Rider or Midsummer Knight Dream: -"Come on! I believe in you, Willy! You can do it! You could be free! Come on! You can jump it!" +1 Cuckoo Negligence in equipment maintenance? Manufacturing error? Or… -Or the perfidious work of trailer gremlins? +1 Cuckoo

If helping Ash with the cleanup: -I wonder if we could train dung beetles to do this work instead? +1 Cuckoo

Going back to the trailer:

-I wonder if this horse ramp's good for skateboarding? +1 Cuckoo -If the trailer turned into gingerbread, would we still need to give hay to the horses? +1 Cuckoo (also gives you +1 Magic, the cloudcuckoolander MC does synergize well with magical shenanigans in general)

Go check with Amnay -"All I can say is…" (+Crazy theory) (You need to have thought about the same crazy theory at least 2 times) +1 Cuckoo --The proof is in the pudding! Which is wobbly and very delicious. +1 Cuckoo ---I know the truth. I know that I know the truth. And one day, I'll show them all! MuahahahahaHAHAHAâ-ahem. +1 Cuckoo

[radigalde]

Fear level counting: Fencing Club part 1

Just like with Polo club, getting to the club location will give you +1 if MC has attention phobia.

Unlike Polo, you can get -1 in the same segment by the grace of Lorelei foreshadowing looking at flyers (#I glance at the crumpled flyer tacked on to a nearby movie theater wall that's hanging on for its dear life.). This option works regardless of phobias and anything else.

Asking Adrian about the weather (#"So, nice weather we're having, right?") will give you -1 fear, and unless MC considers Adrian to be a stalker, there is another -1 in the same package.

In the same way, the following options from the light chitchat branch will give an unconditional -1:

#"So, how has your day been?" I ask Adrian.

#"So, how do you think you'll do in your match today?

And those will give -1 unless MC considers Adrian to be their stalker:

#"Adrian, your glasses are blinding me."

#"Adrian, your beauty is blinding me."

In other branches each topic about creepy stuff will give +1 fear:

#"There was a murder/mauling during my last work shift..."

#"Let me tell you about this strange dream I just had..."

#"So I was recently mauled by an invisible poltergeist..."

#"It seems that my apartment may be a little bit haunted..."

You can kind of cheat a bit and pick #I launch into a long involved story regarding my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. or its silent alternative #I silently whip out my thirteen-page description of my past day including all details regarding my past work shift, my nightmare and strange injury, as well as the current haunted atmosphere of my apartment. It will mark all creepy topics (murder, dream, wound, apartment) as discussed, but at the price of only +1 fear instead of total +4.

In murder discussion there are more options to gain/reduce fear:

Reporter MC can get -1 for suggesting the link between Midnight Mauler's victims and missing Caleb (#"I have to wonder if this is somehow connected with Caleb Degar's missing person case.")

Restraunt workers is going to get additioinal +1 simply for mentioning the murder.

Computer programmer will get +1 if in the midst of murder discussing they decide to talk about grim reaper (#Go into a long-winded diatribe over how the Grim Reaper comes for us all (but especially you with your luck).) hile having death phobia.

Security guard MC is fucked in this topic:

Mandatory +1 plus another +1 if they have blood phobia or death phobia, and another +1 if they have childhood accident (all three increases can stack).

Another mandatory L +1 after the initial set of responces ("Nooot. Enough. Leeeft.")

You can negate it a bit with -1 claiming that it's fine (#"It's nothing at all."), but that comes with denial increase and potentially corruption increase.

Telling Adrian about the crime scene will give +2 fear with #No, I'm not going to run away. I tell Adrian exactly what I saw in that parking lot. or +1 fear with #"Sure, I'm fine. And I'll give you the whole scoop. It went like this..."

During the discussion of wounded arm or haunted apartment, agreeing to go to a motel (#"Yeah, maybe a night in a motel will do me some good.") will give -1 fear.

While Adrian is freaking out about MC's mauled arm, choose #"What? I find this situation perfectly normal." and then #I'm not being sarcastic. while not being a clodcuckoolander (less that 5 cuckoo options chosen beforehand), overly sassy (sass stat is less than 45) nor nonchalant (option #I give a nonchalant shrug. after showing your wound) for getting -1 fear.

Or just choose #"It's fine." to unconditionally get the same -1 fear and once again increase your denial stat.

In the discussion about haunted apartment pretending to be okay (#"It's fine.") will give -1, but at the cost of denial increase.

After talking about nightmare or apartment MC with fear phobia is going to get +1 fear, but only if their denial stat is less than 3.

In the actions branch (#I believe actions speak louder than words.) standing closer to Adrian (#I sidle closer to a certain fencer waiting in the nearby doorway.) will give -1, but that counts as flirt.

Furthermore, taking his hand (#I reach over and take Adrian's hand.) will give another -1.

Spooking Adrian during the discussion of intrusive thoughts (#Thiiiiis iiiiis completely riiiidiculous.) is going to get you +1 fear (as well as corruption increase and probably dead Zain), but this fear increase has a lot of conditions to happen:

MC has attention phobia;

and MC is not silent and didn't choose more than 4 silent options in the previous conversation;

and Adrian learned about some of the creepy stuff before this point;

or MC is a security guard and talked about their job beforehand (murder topic).

Starting the Apocalypse topic (#Ask about the apocalypse.) for meta reasons (#"Pure unfiltered meta knowledge.") will give you +1 because fuck you, I guess.

Asking Adrian about creepy things (#Ask Adrian if he's experienced anything strange lately.) will give you +1.

You can counter it with yo mama joke (#"Yes, and it's your mother. She's disappointed that you haven't properly washed your socks lately.") for -1 and denial increase. Or enable it further (#Well, I wasn't before but now I am!) with +1 in case if MC has attention phobia. Or increase it even further (#I swear I saw something down that hallway.) with another +1 if MC already saw strange things in the corridor beforehand, and MC has fear phobia or spiders phobia.

A patter joke (# Ask how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.) will give -1 fear.

Unless you decide to end the conversation prematurely (before you go through 4 topics), there are additional stat changes during interim spooky moments:

Mandatory +1 after 4th topic, once club members begin to grumble about broken swords ("Brenda briefly reappears on the practice floor. "What's with this handle?" she complains as she holds up a new foil.").

Another mandatory +1 after 6th topic because of a creepy shadow in the hallway ("There in the dim shadows, something crouches in the middle of the hallway. A huddled lump nearly the size of a man with blind white eyes staring back at you. You startle and blink.").

This one can be negated with -1 with #Perhaps it was a shadow?, and that won't even increse you denial stat, how sweet.

Or you can just scream (#I shriek like a banshee.), attracting a crowd and getting +1 if MC has attention phobia.

This club has no horses to feed, so, the "free" option of fear reduction for MC is to feed themselves. Via vending machine (#I decide this is the perfect time to indulge in some overpriced merchandise from the nearby vending machine.). However, unlike the alternative from the polo route, this segment is not an intermission in-between various topics, but a single option in the conversation (which you can return to up to 7 times). Each option from the vending machine gives -2 fear, meaning that the max reduction would be a mind-boggling -14. It may bite you in the ass during Zain saving, because that requires less than 7 consumed snacks. But you still can pick 6 snacks, getting -12 fear and being able to save Zain (if the rest of your stats are high enough).

At the end of the conversation there is mandatory +2 due to spooky clattering sound. MC with greed vice has none of it with their immediate -2 though, while MC with fear phobia has +1.

During the search of a safe place to change into training equipment, go to the regular changing room (#I head off towards the changing rooms. That's what they're for, after all.) and then try to fix the door knob (#Try and reattach the knob back to the door.) for -1 fear.

In the same room cuckoolander MC (4 or more cuckoo options picked beforehand) can dabble in foreshadowing (#At least there isn't an obstructive barricade in our way.) for -1 fear.

[nightsadness]

Can I come with you?

Tags: fem!reader, angst

Pairing: Fyodor Dostoevsky x fem!reader

Warning: The death of a canon character, the reader longs greatly. There may be errors in the text, as I am not a native English speaker, I often had to use the help of a translator

A/n: I was inspired by the song "Ap$ent - Можно я с тобой? (Can I come with you?)" and wrote this headcanon based on the verses of that wonderful song. As I wrote above, I don't speak English, so I used a lot of translators, trying to write normally 😞. Please let me know if it's really bad.

Горят фонари Я бы до зари с тобой мог говорить

The street lights are on

I'd chat you up till dawn

Though you were no match for Dostoevsky in intellect, Fyodor thought you were an smart person with whom he could have a good conversation. In those rare moments when the man gave you time, you could talk for hours, mostly on quiet evenings, against the window, which was not covered by curtains, and thanks to this, the room was illuminated only by the bright light of the moon, giving its own special, peaceful atmosphere.

Но тебе снова пора Как всегда, какие-то дела с утра But it's high time for you to be gone

You've got work to do, as well known

You and Fyodor spent very little time together. You didn't like it, but there was nothing you could do about it. After all, Dostoevsky was obsessed only with his goal, and it was his first priority. You couldn't deny it. And you, no matter what, wanted to be with him and always waited for him.

Longing was your frequent companion when you felt the lack of a man's attention, but you didn't bother him, realizing the importance of his "purpose" realizing how much own plans meant to him. Every day you woke up and went to sleep alone. Though there were exceptions when Fyodor lay down with you, but, as a rule, in the early morning he was no longer in bed. And those moments were so rare that you could count them on your fingers.

Да, тут так себе вайб Видимо, пора. Ну что ж, бывай, родны край!

Yes, the vibes here're better be kept at bay

So, my land, bye-bye! Seams, it's time to go away...

That was the day. The day when you saw Fyodor for the last time in your life, but you hoped with all your might that it wasn't true. You couldn't even sleep for a few nights, thinking about him all the time. And you were not comforted by the thought that Fyodor was so damn cunning and clever, and he always had everything under control. Every day was a nightmare for you, because those damned thoughts were tormenting you from the inside.

По кустам ночной тропой Да, план отстой. Nocturnal trail is truly long

Yes, the plan is sucks

You heart sank into my heels, and there was a look of pure shock mixed with sadness on my face. You didn't want to believe that Fyodor was dead. How, HOW the hell could this have happened? Your breathing quickened at the news, and you fell helplessly to your knees, clutching your head with your hands. You'd always known his plan was a really sucks, and you'd even said Fyodor about it. But he didn't care what you thought of his goal.

To get your thoughts together, you decided to go for a walk. It was a blue night and a cool breeze was blowing. That's what you needed..

Всё давно позади Но зато есть вспомнить что и что обсудить

All in the past, the deeds we tried

But there are things to call to mind

It had been about six months, but you still wanted to be with Fyodor, to hold him again, to kiss him, to listen to him. You missed his attention, which he gave you, though rarely, but still gave it to you. Maybe he didn't really love you, and you were just a pawn...or maybe not? But that didn't bother you much. You wanted to be with him and only him. It's hard without him. So hard, such unbelievable pain. Every single day you remembered all the moments with him, that was your only consolation.

Если решишь уйти на покой Вдруг раньше, чем я — постой

If you decide to leave peace

before I do, hold on...

One day you were sitting on the roof of a high-rise building, looking up at the night sky, rubbing the pendant that Dostoevsky had given you. You never took it off, especially since the man was gone from your life. The longing was eating you from the inside out, but you had to be strong! Hah....You couldn't. Or just didn't want to, who knows. Your gaze was downward, the city seemed so small, and people walked around below like ants. Building was too high and you were sitting on the very edge. but it didn't scare you.

— Можно я с тобой?

nightsadness © 2024

[reds-skull]

Not Alive, Nor Dead

[PREV PART] [AO3]

We're getting close to another favorite moment of mine... I can't wait to write it lol

“Rudy, Vargas.” Ghost greets them, sitting down to eat his breakfast. 

The two Vaqueros nod, Rudy speaking with a mouthful, “Fantasma, slept well?”

He lifts his mask just enough to take a bite of the eggs, “no.”

“Oh.” Rudy swallows the food, “sorry to hear that?”

Alejandro snorts at his awkwardness, “what got you uneasy, hermano?”

Ghost sighs, scanning the room for stray Shadows. He leans in closer to quietly tell them, “caught a Shadow following me and Johnny last night.��

The men’s gaze darkens, “I’ve had a bad feeling about the Gringo for a while now…” Alejandro stabs a tomato angrily, “I’m starting to think he’s not here to support us.”

“What’s your theory?” Ghost indulges.

“He’s the Americans’ way into whatever this mess will lead us.” Rudy nods, continuing for the Colonel. It seems like this isn’t the first time they discuss this, “Shepherd wants his name on our success, and Graves is his toy soldier.” He frowns, “making his Shadows stalk you and Soap, however…”

Ghost finishes his meal, “Shepherd might want to eat the cake and leave it whole. I’d suggest watching each other’s back. Cheers.”

“Keep yourself safe, hermano. Thank you.” Alejandro gives him a sharp nod, mind undoubtedly swirling with all possible scenarios.

Ghost returns the nod, leaving mess. 

If Graves turns his back on them, the fallout will fuck up more than just taskforce 141. The Vaqueros, Commander Karim and Keller, Laswell…

He knows too much. If he betrays them… Ghost will make sure he keeps his mouth shut.

Whether it’s on earth or Limbo, Graves won’t escape him.

Johnny waits for him when he leaves for the training grounds, grinning cheerfully when he spots Ghost.

He falls into step beside him, “goin’ to let Limbo out for a spin?”

His gruff accent sands down the tension he accumulated while talking about Graves, “need to take off the edge, don’t want them too wild on the mission.”

Ghost looks down at Soap, deciding to kick a little at his boots, “you sure you want to follow me to the field? Limbo still wants to take a bite off you.”

Johnny stumbles for a second, pouting up before smirking, “I’ll follow you anywhere, LT”

Ghost gazes at his eyes, the reflection of the sky encompassed within them. He’s only half joking when he murmurs, “that’s what I’m afraid of.” 

He makes Soap stand far, perhaps a little over worrying, but Ghost rather having to shout for his Sergeant to hear than risk his life yet again.

As he lets Limbo loose, he thinks back to his Last conversation with his Reaper. How Johnny is supposed to kill him.

Ghost wishes he believed it more wholeheartedly. It could’ve helped with his constant concerns, his nightmares, the visions so real he can almost see Soap in Limbo now, vacant eyes chasing his light.

Ghost shakes the illusion away, Johnny isn’t here. No reason to torture himself with those ‘what-ifs’.

Limbo has returned to its usual state, his victims all screaming and crying, reaching for the protective light surrounding him. Things have been turbulent for the residents in these last couple of months. Ghost almost feels bad, if he ever let himself feel anything towards his eternally trapped victims.

It’s a slippery slope he rather not go down on.

When he steps out of Limbo, streams of blackened dirt point at Johnny, stopping only a few meters from the Scot.

Ghost huffs when Johnny waves over eagerly, calling out that he’s ‘faster than the creepy gits, LT!’ and that Ghost has nothing to worry about. Maybe once that was true, but the way his lips curl into a smile tells him otherwise.

They part ways when Soap has to go to yet another debrief, not before he taps his shoulder and promises to find him afterwards. Ghost’s heart practically sings when he murmurs, “you better, Sergeant.”

Garrick catches him while he’s still gliding on the high of those promises, a horrified face pulling him back to earth, “Gaz? What’s-”

“I need to talk to you.” his eyes flicker around, “privately.”

Ghost nods, instantly snapping back into business mode, “follow me.”

They silently make their way to the roof, the 4-storey building and the single access point, making for the most secluded place in the entire base.

Gaz walks over to watch the fields, avoiding eye contact with him. Ghost impatiently waits for him to spill whatever got him so frightened.

“Do you know someone called Kirill Bogomolov?” the Sergeant mutters, his back still towards Ghost.

He opens his mouth to give the negative, when he stops. Bogomolov… he has heard the name before.

Ghost inhales sharply. Konchar.

“Yes.” 

Gaz’s head snaps around to gawk at him, “where? Who is he??”

“You first, Sergeant. How do you know Bogomolov?”

Garrick’s voice is somewhat desperate when he speaks, “my Reaper. It said… fuck, Ghost. Kirill was its, strongest Revenant of the Pull ever created.”

“Konchar was Reaped by the same Reaper that got you?” Ghost exclaims in surprise.

Gaz’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and Ghost exhales, “Konchar is the callsign of Bogomolov. Why did your Reaper bring him up?”

“It said…” Garrick looks down, “it warned me about Soap. Told me I should stay away from him. That it won’t lose another revenant to ‘the Reaper of Destruction’.” Gaz’s eyes look at his, “Soap didn’t kill Konchar, right? Tell me my Reaper’s wrong, Ghost.”

Ghost narrows his eyes, “I heard about Konchar first when Soap lost his memory. He said Konchar killed his squad.”

Gaz’s face scrunches, “fuck…”

“Official reports state Konchar died from the explosion in Verdansk six years ago. Soap, allegedly, was Reaped in the same event.” Ghost’s mind races faster than he could speak, “Reapers don’t lie, Garrick. Soap must’ve…”

The Sergeant rubs his temples, exhaling a shaky breath, “killed Konchar because of that. But you said they couldn’t have met?”

Ghost goes over the timeline again, “if we assume the reports are faked, which they are since your Reaper won’t lie…” things are still so disconnected… “Konchar didn’t die in the explosion. Which means Soap was Reaped before it.”

Gaz floats a few inches of ground, “what do we know on the mission Soap and his squad were on in Verdansk?”

“Nothing. His file is fucking blacked out.”

He drops to the ground again, “couldn’t you ask Soap? You two are close-”

“Johnny won’t say shit.” Ghost almost snarls, frustrations building, “whatever happened there, it made him scream and ask his Reaper why it didn’t fucking kill him.”

“Jesus…” shock spreads on Garrick’s face, and he groans, “what do we do, Ghost? First your Reaper tells you Soap will be ‘your demise’, then mine shows up for the first time in months to warn me it will not lose another revenant.”

“Parra’s Reaper warned him about me as well.” Ghost recounts the memory, “they seem to do that when a strong revenant is around.” he sizes Gaz up, looking for any signs of fear. “We’ll bring it up to the Captain, but if it were up to me… I won’t let that change anything. Although…”

Garrick perks up, “we’ll keep a distance from Johnny when he uses his powers extensively. Don’t underestimate him.” Ghost finishes.

The Sergeant nods, “yes sir. I’ll go inform Price.”

Ghost stays behind on the roof a little longer. If Johnny and Konchar have met after his Reaping…

Is there anything on his file he could truly trust?

The revenant in question finds him while he haunts the halls around the meeting rooms, waiting for him to show up.

Johnny seemed surprised to see him there, and the expression quickly melts into a pleased sort of joy.

“Missed me that much, Ghostie?” he teases.

Ghost can’t stop his eyes from rolling, “in your dreams, MacTavish.”

Soap raises an eyebrow, saying with a lop-sided smile, “oh, you do a lot more in my dreams, LT.”

His face feels on fire under the mask, Ghost stiffens, “that so?”

“Aye” Johnny gives him a shit eating grin, “last night ye took me teh a fancy restaurant, treated me right. If only you were such a gentleman in my waking hours, LT” he puts a hand over his heart, shaking his head in disappointment.

Ghost cuffs him over the head, “don’t see you taking me anywhere nice, Sergeant. You get what you give.”

Soap rubs at the back of his head, frowning up at Ghost, “Oi! You know what, I’ll take ye somewhere real good next time we get leave. You won’t have any excuses after that!”

“I’ll hold you to it, Johnny.”

Soap smiles, the two of them gazing just a little too long at each other’s eyes (not his fault Johnny got pretty ones) when Price’s voice echos in their minds, “I’m truly sorry for interrupting you lovebirds, but we need you two here.”

A comically grief-stricken expression washes over Johnny’s features, “I just got out of debrief…” he whines.

“Won’t be long, Sergeant, just need to verify something.” Price sighs in their head.

Ghost takes hold of Soap’s drooping shoulder, “up and at ‘em, Johnny. The sooner we go, the sooner we finish.”

His Sergeant sighs loudly, “Aye sir…”

“No…” Soap takes a step back, voice shaking, “your Reaper too…? I-I don’t… I would never…”

Ghost takes a hold of his arm, stopping him from running away. He can feel the tension coiling up in Johnny. He knew his Sergeant won’t take the news well, that yet another person is now in danger of him.

Ghost wants to shout at all the Reapers in the world beyond, explain Johnny is the last person to hurt his teammates, that he’s righteous and self sacrificial to a fault.

He knows it won’t matter to them. They don’t care for such small, insignificant details of their human servants.

“We know, son.” Price attempts to calm him, “we’ll change the plan as much as we can, but you’ll have to use your powers to some extent. I’m sorry, but you’re irreplaceable.”

Soap tries to back away again, “no! I can’t- just make me do something else, I’ll be fine with exploding again, I can heal, I-”

“Johnny”, Ghost tightens his hold on him.

Soap stares at him, eyes terrified, “I can’t LT… If I kill any of ye… I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

Price looks between them, crossing his arms. Ghost thinks over the plan again, of the most recent iteration. Soap and Gaz were supposed to create a distraction, make the PMC revenant run away, only to be caught by the rest of their forces, and slowly be pushed back from all fronts.

He turns his head to glare at Price, “swap me and Garrick out, sir.”

Soap and Gaz both exclaim as one, “what?!”

“Go on.” Price squints.

“Me and Soap are the strongest revenants in our forces. If anyone could push the target, it’s us.”

“You two are not immune to each other, Lieutenant. It will be risky to send my best soldiers together.” Price comments.

Ghost feels Soap turn to stare at him, “if Soap is far enough, I can use Limbo safely.”

“And if you get caught in an explosion?”

Johnny takes the arm on him with his hand, squeezing and shaking his head lightly. Ghost ignores him.

“Limbo would stop them.”

Price’s eyebrows raise, Soap gapes at him from the corner of his vision.

The Captain's voice asks in his head, “have you done it before?”

He looks down at Johnny, “no” he whispers in his thoughts.

“Simon…”

Blue eyes shine up at him, skies that hold stars in their depth, “I trust him, John. With my life, with my death, with everything left in me.”

Price tilts his head, something sad softening his features, “...don’t make me regret this, Lieutenant.” he says out loud.

“I won’t, sir.” he doesn’t avert his eyes from Johnny’s.

Plot twist! Konchar and Gaz have the same Reaper!

[bambinella]

Day 2 - Chase

MCU - Kate x Yelena

A/N: Been a while since I wrote for them, and I got this request a while ago, so I decided to combine it! Enjoy!

What Kate had intended to be a good day had turned out to be a nightmare so far. It had been one of her free days, and she had decided on spending it in the giant mall nearby, for the biggest part at least. She wanted to go shopping and see what else was nearby. Alas, things had not gone as planned. Some of the stores she had planned to go to were closed for whatever reason, a kid had run up against her with his milkshake and had ruined her favorite pants for the day. And worst of all? When she went to get ice cream to try and forget all the above, a seagull had gone and stolen it from her hand! What was a seagull doing in the city to begin with?? Those sea pigeons should stay at the sea where they belong.

So to say the least, she was in a pretty bad mood on her way home to her apartment. The one thing she could look forward to was cuddling on the couch with Lucky. However, when she approached the front door, she could see light coming from inside. She was pretty damn sure she had turned off all the lights, and since she had gone shopping she didn’t have her bow with her. Perfect. Grabbing the small pocket knife in one hand, she carefully opened the front door to peek inside. What she saw wasn’t what she had expected, and with a groan she fully opened the door.

“Yelena! You can’t keep breaking in just like that! I could have killed you!” Kate declared as she walked inside, looking at the blonde assassin sitting on her couch while cuddling with Lucky. Traitor. Yelena let out a loud laugh at that statement, as if she had said the funniest thing in the world.

“Oh Kate Bishop, you’re still as hilarious as last time it seems, please keep it up. And relax, I made a copy of your key the last time I broke in, so technically I didn’t ‘break in’ this time. I’m far too skilled for that,” She said casually, leaving the archer stunned for a moment. How many times had she broken in so far??

“Ugh, fine whatever, why are you here?” Kate relented, putting her things away in the meantime. She knew there was no way to kick Yelena out just like that.

“Because I’m bored, duh, so you need to entertain me,” The blonde said with a shrug, giving the archer a once-over. She looked… not great.

“Yelena, I just came home from the worst day in a long time, so I don’t feel like entertaining you,” Kate said with a defeated groan, trying to clean the dark, sticky spot from her pants with a wet rag.

“Yeah you look pretty terrible, what happened to you?” She asked, failing to hide the smile in her voice. Kate glared at her.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Yelena. I’m tired and I just want to sit down for a while, so if you’re going to stay, at least scoot over,” She said, making her way over to the small couch that was being held hostage. The assassin huffed.

“That’s so rude, I claimed your couch first,” Yelena declared, her stubborn side showing up. This didn’t stop Kate from sitting down way too close next to her.

“Scoot,” She said again, giving Yelena a prod in the ribs to motivate her. What she didn’t expect was the gasp and the jerk she got from it, and judging from the reaction, neither did Yelena, who was rubbing the spot on her side.

“Kate Bishop, what in the hell did you just do to me?” Yelena asked, looking at her with slightly wider eyes. She had been taken off guard by that little poke.

“I… poked you? Wait wait, does that mean you’re ticklish??” Kate declared, the dark clouds around her dissipating slightly. Oh this could be fun.

“What’s ticklish? Kate Bishop, stop speaking in riddles,” Yelena said with an annoyed huff. She did not like the look on Kate’s face. Ignoring the danger and pursuing her curiosity, Kate poked Yelena in the ribs this time, earning another yelp and a painful slap to her wrist. Oh she was definitely ticklish.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it, this is amazing!” Kate said with a wide grin, mischief slowly taking over as she looked at the blonde, who stared back uneasily.

“Did you hit your head while I was looking away or something? You better stop bein– hey! W-what do you think you’re dohohoing?!” Said blonde cried out as Kate suddenly grabbed her sides, a weird feeling spreading through her body. It made her want to laugh.

“I’m tickling you, duh,” Kate chuckled, now actually grateful Yelena had decided to break in. She was already less tired and grumpy than five minutes ago. She gently dug into the assassin’s ribs, and relished in the girlish squeal it got her.

“Kahahahate Bishop! Stohohop! I hahahate this! Let gohohoho!” Yelena laughed, and Kate could squeal. Who knew Yelena was this cute?? However, during her struggles to push Kate’s arms away, she managed to grab hold on one of her sides, causing her to laugh and jerk her arm back to protect her side.

“Dohohohon’t!” She giggled, before freezing as she looked at Yelena. It took the blonde only a second to put two and two together, and she smirked dangerously at the archer while catching her breath.

“Well well. I should kill you for touching me in the first place, but it seems you’re ‘ticklish’ too. So I think I’m gonna torture you with that,” She said. Kate looked at her with wide eyes yet didn’t hesitate a second as she jumped up from the couch, making her way towards literally anywhere far away from Yelena. Unfortunately for her, Yelena had the same idea and dashed after her.

“You’ll never catch me alive!” Kate cried out, nearly giggling in anticipation, only to get tackled to the floor mere seconds later. Okay so that statement was a lie. Yelena cackled as she sat down on Kate’s lower back.

“Kate Bishop, you should not have done that to me. Now prepare to die,” She said, digging her fingers rather roughly into the brunette’s sides. While having no real idea how to tickle, she was still doing a pretty good job.

“YEHEHelehehenahaha! Stohohohop! I’m sohohohorry!” She giggled madly, clawing at the floor to escape from the nails.

“Oh it’s too late for sorry now, Kate Bishop,” Yelena smirked as she crawled her fingers up onto her ribs. The brunette shrieked and tried to push herself up, only to find out that her arms had turned to goo from giggling so much.

“Plehehehease!! I’ll nehehever do it agaahahahain! NO! NOHOHHOO WAHAHAHAIT!” Yelena, of course, had ignored her plea and had moved her hands into Kate’s underarms, causing her to slam her arms to her sides as she rolled around with the limited movement she had. Yelena cackled at the sight.

“Damn right you won’t. You’re not even close to sorry yet,” She warned, yet it had a playful undertone. Still, Kate was at the mercy of the assassin now, who didn’t know mercy.

Legend says Kate is still laughing.

[jeanniebug623]

🕸️🕷️ Weaving the Web 🕷️🕸️

Chapter 5: Waking Nightmare

Quaritch stood by the wall, sat on the floor, paced the room...but he did not leave Spider’s room. The boy had fallen asleep easily with two minutes of saying he was tired. Neither of them knew just how tired.

Six hours of watching the kid sleep and dismissing his men when they offered to share the watch, Quaritch heard the quietest groan come the bed he’d leveled out so Spider could sleep as comfortably as possible while still in the four-point restraints. Spider – or should he say Miles – had asked a cryptic question before falling asleep. 

“Will you be here when he wakes up…?” 

Quaritch held his breath as he approached the side of the bed. Who was waking up? 

Spider groaned again, much louder this time as he tried to roll over. Of course, he went nowhere and came to in a dazed panic. He clumsily tried to pull his limbs free and looking around in the dim room franticly. 

“What the hell is going on...?” Spider asked himself, not even aware Quaritch was standing there. 

“Spider?” Quaritch asked, sensing relief when the boy looked in his direction. His bioluminescent design caught Spider’s attention, but he didn’t look any less upset. But at least he’d responded to the name. 

“What the hell is going on?”, he repeated, this time directed at the colonel, “Why am I tied up?!” 

“Just a precaution, kid.” Quaritch said quietly as he moved over to the bedside, crouching down to be on his eye level, “How you feeling, tiger?” 

Spider stared at him like it was obvious how upset he was. But it only lasted a few seconds. He closed his eyes tightly and laid his head back flat. He let out a sigh and his breath shook on the inhale before letting it out again slowly. 

“Spider...?” Quaritch asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Even though the boy didn’t turn to look at him, he didn’t try to bite him either so the other side of him that went by Miles wasn’t who he was talking to. 

“Ma Eywa...it all fucking happened...” Spider’s managed to tighten his eyelids even more and spoke cracked voice, “...did I hurt anyone? Like...bad?” 

“Nothin’ an ice pack and a few stitches can’t fix.” Quaritch said. He could feel the tiny human frame shaking upon hearing the confirmation that Spider’d attacked someone. Quaritch kept his voice quiet and calming, maintaining contact so he felt something other than padded restraints and a starchy hospital blanket. “Spider...do you know what happened?” 

Spider shrugged awkwardly against the limited movement the wrist cuffs offered and shook his head. His next exhale came out shaky as he suppressed a lot of guilt and overwhelming emotions. He bit his lip hard. Quaritch was afraid it would split when he didn’t speak. 

“Hey...” Quaritch said as he gave the boy’s shoulder a light squeeze, “Trust me, kid, there’s nothin’ you could say that’ll make me walk away right now. But I need to know you’re ok. So I can at least get you out of those cuffs...” 

“I don’t...” Spider said with a tight throat, “I don’t know...it’s, like...?” 

The recom stared at the boy as he struggled to find the words, but he didn’t say a damn thing. He was not going to rush him. Whoever this alternate personality was clearly was NOT someone Spider was proud of. 

“Have you ever...” Spider started, as he opened his eyes narrowly at the ceiling then rolled his head towards Quaritch, “You know, like...when you have a bad dream? And you wake up but you can’t tell if you’re...um...you know, actually awake?” 

Ever since meeting this wild child in the forest, Quaritch had never seen him look anything less than strong and defiant. But now? He looked vulnerable and uncertain. And he didn’t want to insult the kid by thinking that. He nodded thoughtfully at the question. Yes...Quaritch had MANY waking nightmares over his years. 

“You feel like you’re dreaming?” Quaritch asked to clarify. 

“Kind of...?” Spider asked, not sure of himself, “It’s more like when you try to go back to sleep...and you just go right back into the dream. You don’t know if you’re awake...or if you’re in control...” 

Fucking hell... 

“Spider...” Quaritch said, realizing he’d gone rigid and stopped pulling against the restraints when the colonel confirmed he’d acted violently. Like he was too dangerous to let loose. But Quaritch was not afraid. “I’m going to undo these straps, alright?” 

Spider took in a deep breath and let it out. Internal struggle was all over his face. He didn’t want to be tied up but he’d hurt someone. Sure, he’d been fighting against the soldiers who’d dragged him from one cell to another. Jerked away from contact when one of the recoms got too close. But a doctor or nurse or whoever was trying to help him? He’d never attack someone for genuinely trying to help... 

“One at a time, ok? You’ll tell me how you feel.” Quaritch said as he leaned his long arms down to the boy’s ankle furthest from him and undid the tight cuff trapping his leg. “You good?” 

“Yea...” Spider said quietly. He felt the other ankle cuff released and pulled his stiff legs up a bit to bend his knees. 

Quaritch leaned back to his crouching position next to the bed, staring at the kid’s profile before going to remove the wrist cuffs. The boy Miles that he was dealing with earlier had very manic traits. Obsessive eye contact, unpredictable responses, antagonizing verbalizations. The colonel had seen his share of crazy and seen those symptoms before. Spider, on the other hand, looked upset and remorseful for what Miles had done. 

“It’s ok, Spider.” Quaritch said. Making sure to say his chosen name instead of a nickname. 

“It’s not ok...I-I...” Spider bit his lip again, drawing specks of blood from his teeth, “I don’t like it. I don’t like him. He doesn’t...feel right.” 

Quaritch felt a shard chip off his frozen heart. Despite his very feral behavior, this kid had a big heart that didn’t like unnecessary violence. He obviously would fight tooth and nail for those hybrid Sully kids but out of defense. Spider had a good and loyal soul; Miles had an untethered, rageful one. 

“When did you start to notice Miles?” Quaritch asked. Spider looked at him confused so he elaborated, “Seems to be what he wants to go by...” 

Spider rolled his eyes at his own inner demon on the loose but answered to the best of his knowledge, “After the third time...I think.” 

“Third time in the neuroscanner?” Quaritch said with a growl, his ears going back and tail curling. 

“Yea, I think so...” Spider said, closing his eyes again to try and block out that particular waking nightmare. 

“Spider, II was not aware you’d been subjected to that machine other than the times I was there.” the colonel said quickly, trying to temper his anger from his conversation with Ardmore. 

“Does it matter?” Spider asked, opening his eyes to him. And damn it...did the kid look hurt when he asked... 

Quaritch felt an unfamiliar form of guilt that made him shut his trap real fast. No, it probably didn’t. Spider was still a sixteen-year-old boy who just happened to have been raised by the enemy and caught by the RDA. What part of that made such extreme forms of interrogation and mental torture allowable? 

The boy didn’t wait for an answer. Maybe no answer would be good enough. He looked back at the ceiling, his eyes darting around like he was trying to figure out how to deal with his alter ego, who went by a name he tried so hard to erase. His voice was quietly and cracking again when he asked, “What’ll happen to me now...?” 

Despite the still lingering guilt, Quaritch’s ears perked up with determination as he reached across Spider’s body to undo the cuff furthest away then straight to removing the last one. 

“We get you the help you need.” Quaritch said with a determined tone. 

“We?” Spider asked as he let the recom’s strong hands help him sit up. 

“Damn straight, kid.” Quaritch said, keeping a bracing hand on the kid’s back. “Can’t ask for better resources between the medical staff and former Avatar program science pukes on how to get the brain working proper.” 

“What if I can’t be fixed?” Spider asked, nervous of failure and tempting Miles to come out. Part of him wanted to just run away into the forest like he had from day one but deep down? Now he was afraid to...High Camp technology was outdated and Na’vi medicine might not help a human like him... 

“I’m not damaged!” Miles’ tone of Spider’s voice echoed in the back of Quaritch’s mind. 

“Then we figure out how to make it so you control him.” 

[agentravensong]

hello, fellow hatchetfield fans! here are my stray nerdy prudes must die thoughts, which i'm going to try to keep brief (she said, before spending an hour writing this)

the production level of the show as a whole really blew me away. the lighting; demon!max's costume and makeup; even the way it was shot and edited felt even more electric than past shows

this is the only one of the full-length hatchetfield musicals to have one consistent antagonist throughout (black friday has linda but half the leads don't know about her at all until the climax, plus there's wilbur and wiggly). and i gotta say, max's actor really killed it. hilarious, terrifying, and even with moments of nuance. he repeatedly stole the show.

some of the songs are already stuck in my head. off the top of my head i can't think of any that stood out in a bad/unmemorable way (though i could just be forgetting them, lol). ruth's song in particular i think is gonna really stick with me once i listen to it a few more times.

and i love the way the "i'm not a loser" motif gets used throughout the show. the closest any of the songs got me to having the visceral reaction i have to "did you know that i wanted to live with you" in "not your seed" and the bridge + ending of "let it out" ("i've never been happy...") was when richie sings that line right before... well.

speaking of richie: as a paul stan, what this show proved to me more than anything is that when jon matteson plays a sympathetic lead (or side character - hi daniel/stopwatch), he will always break my heart. he's just. really good.

thinking about how in the last of the originally planned 3 hatchetfield shows, initially conceptualized as the first, jon's character is the first one to sing, whereas in the first of those shows, conceptualized as the last, the whole crux of the musical is him refusing to sing, the audience essentially waiting for the moment he breaks and does it. thinking about how the opening of npmd tells us richie is going to die, already dying, already dead, while the opening number of tgwdlm tells us paul is the target, the Doomed Hero, the "star of the show" "destined to go viral" [read: get infected], whose story is going to be told, already written.

thinking about how singing dooms paul, and how richie singing "i'm not a loser", reigniting max's ire, is the final nail in his coffin.

...i'm normal.

there's a lot of meta jokes and nods of that sort throughout the show. maybe a few too many? like, at a certain point, as a fan, i do feel like i'm being pandered to a bit.

i liked the lords in black's scene, it was a lot of fun! it's always great to see jon get to let loose with crazy characters, and the others were great too. but i do wonder how it plays for people who haven't been following nightmare time stuff. like, i get that in one world this was our introduction to these characters, but even in that world, i wonder if including all five of them with their specific names and allusions to their individual deals is a bit too much for what the plot of this show needs. there's something to be said for not showing all your cards right away.

on the other hand, i feel like the paulkins coffee scene actually fully earned its inclusion: because when pete comes in asking for his hot chocolate, it reads differently when we're coming at it from having followed his perspective up to this point versus having been following paul in tgwdlm, in a way that strengthens both scenes. it's a nice reminder that emma and paul can be... rude, i guess. assholes, even (she really didn't need to spit in it). that idea of perspectives affecting how we categorize people arguably even plays into the themes of this show! how about that.

ah, yes, Themes. there are Themes to be drawn out of this show about the experience of high school, especially in an intertextual comparison to how tom and becky talk about their time in high school in black friday. something about how the two of them see it as this idealistic time they want to go back to, whereas the teens (the nerds/outcasts) in npmd sing that they'll "still despise it when [they're] gone". something about how in ruth's solo number, the fantasy future she imagines for herself (even in the context of it being a performance for an audience of no one) is of a standard, arguably dreary, middle-aged existence. there's definitely stuff there to be dissected.

and also there's arguably a theme of continuing cycles of cruelty, brought into focus by the ending, but also implied with the way the adults failed the kids (see max referencing his dad belittling him).

...but also, i feel like they could have done more with that.

that's my one big thing with this show, and it could very easily just be that the genre of this show isn't as much my jam, but i'll say it anyway: i wanted more from the characters, and more emotional weight in regards to certain things.

like, between this and tgwdlm, i think tgwdlm is still the better written show. there's just, a subtly to the characters there, a grounded human-ness, that i didn't quite get from all of the teens here.

as much as i clearly have a soft spot for richie, that's mostly on jon; as written, there really isn't much there, beyond "anime nerd" and "generally nice kid who wants to be liked". the scene right before he dies is comedic in how obvious it's setting things up, but its obvious-ness also makes it feel kind of cheap in terms of pulling on the heartstrings. similarly, ruth is initially just a gimmick (though hers at least ties into a deeper insecurity) and only gets her real moment of depth right before she dies. neither of them feel like they have much affect / haunting presence on the surviving teens once they're dead, past the initial shock of the reveals of their deaths.

and steph and pete are good, but... idk. i wanted a bit more from each of them. if they got to have a talk like paul and emma before "join us and die" - not even for the sake of the romance, but just for the sake of giving us more on each of them outside of their basic stereotypes and the romance - that would've helped, i think.

grace was great, though, no qualms. initially there was a part of me that was disappointed that the stereotype max was pushing on her about her being secretly repressed and horny was in fact true, but the way it gets used makes up for it, and in between max's death and when that specific thing comes up again in the climax, she gets to do a lot with the two conflicting sides of her personality, wanting to be good but having a capacity and arguable instinct for scheming and ruthlessness.

(also, as i mentioned earlier, max has a surprising amount going on, especially once you get into the Implications)

it could just be that i see those depths in the tgwdlm cast because i've had more time to chew on that cast, and that in time i'll see these teens in the same light. but i don't think it's just that.

i think part of it is how there are so many jokes about the teens being nerdy prudes (really, mostly just nerds). and like, that's part of the point, obviously, that they were being forced into those boxes and that they were still people with the potential to be more. but... i don't know if the show does enough to really make that point. again, richie doesn't really get to be more (and it's not for lack of time - there's a good amount of show before max comes back as the demon and kills for the first time).

in tgwdlm, the mains are all arguably based on stock characters, but they have more depth through their relationships. look at ted, the stock asshole sleazeball, who's shown to feel genuine remorse when he loses people he loves, in a way that contextualizes his bitterness. and there's a lot less highlighting of the stockness of them in their show than there is of the teens in npmd.

and the thing is, i think the cast of npmd at their foundations are more likable than the cast of tgwdlm (see the earlier point about emma and paul being assholes at times). they had a lot of potential. but i don't think enough of it is realized for the majority of them. the edges the tgwdlm cast has are part of what makes them compelling, and it's something the teens (minus grace) are largely missing.

the thing is, i know the fandom is going to see that potential and run with it. i know that they're gonna develop the teens' characterizations and relationships. i know they'll get into the trauma and the implications from everything that happened to them in the show. i know they'll get into... pete's survivor's guilt, and steph losing her dad(!!!), and what richie and ruth could have been, and all that. i know that they'll fill in the gaps. because that's what fans do. i guess i just wish there weren't so many gaps to fill. or, that the gaps wouldn't take so much effort from them to fill.

again, i acknowledge, maybe i'm expecting too much from the genre of show this is. it doesn't need to have A Point, i guess, it can just be fun, a comedic horror slasher in musical form. and it is fun, a lot of fun! ...but, tgwdlm was also a lot of fun. not as bombastic, for sure, but i'd say just as humorous. and it was also incredibly tightly written, and satisfying, with strong character arcs for multiple leads. it had commentary on musicals, on what makes a protagonist and what it means to be one, on conformity and institutions of authority, on romance even (you could do a very interesting aromantic reading of this show, trust me). and with a show that's titled nerdy prudes must die, that is About high school, there's, similarly, a lot you can do. and there's a fair amount of seeds planted there. but i don't think it all quite coheres. and it could've, if they really wanted it to.

...i did not keep that brief. ah well. i might disagree with half of this by the time i wake up tomorrow, i just needed to get it out of me. tl;dr, in my opinion, this show is stronger than black friday, but tgwdlm is still my favorite. all the cast and crew put a lot of love into this production and it really shows. i had a great time! :D but i'm always going to overanalyze things i care about as much as i care about the hatchetfield universe, and hence, here we are.

[detectiveruebennett]

set me free | sam wilson

summary: it is said that your skin will regenerate itself approximately every 27 days. although, that may be true... it's been two years. why doesn't it feel like it?

pairing(s): sam wilson x teen!black!reader [ minor natasha romanoff x teen!black!reader as well ]

warning(s): talks of sexual assault, panic attack

genre: angst, hurt/comfort words: 2,278

authors note: IF THE TOPIC OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS TRIGGERING PLEASE DO NOT READ!!! the parts that are in italics are flashbacks to reader's nightmare. the flashback doesn't go into detail of the reader's SA, only Sam comforting them about the nightmare. this is a vent fic is based on my experience as a SA survivor. i use writing as a way of coping and stuff. it's free therapy. i've been sitting on this fic for over a year debating on if i wanted to post it and finally finished it. the ending is kinda rushed tho.

Two years ago, you died. Well, not physically. You were still breathing and everything. But that was when your innocence had retired. You never told anyone when it first happened. You were too scared of the consequences. And, by the time you hadn't, it seemed too late to speak up, in your opinion. There was nothing anyone could do now. He already ruined you. So, you just let it be.

Eventually, you learned from Sam and Natasha that your uncle was arrested for multiple charges of sexual assault. You were immediately overwhelmed with tears at the announcement, for you finally felt free. You began to laugh as well. The pair were quite confused as they watched you laugh and cry. A weight lifted off your shoulders that day as you finally could admit what he did to you. Sam suggested speaking up, but you were still very fearful of even being in the same room as him. It didn't matter that you'd be protected during the trials; the thought of it made you sick.

You still get nightmares from time to time. Sometimes, they were manageable. Other times, they were not. Last night, it seemed like luck was not on your side. You didn't get much sleep due to how bad this one was.

~~

It felt too real as if he was watching in the shadows of your room. FRIDAY alerted Sam due to the spike in your vitals. You'd awakened in a state of panic. You sat in a pool of sweat as your heart pounded in your head.

Sam busted through the door in a frenzy. He hadn't noticed his mistake until you frantically hurried out of bed toward the widow bites on the desk. You trembled in the corner of the room as you pointed the weapon toward him. Sam lifted his hands as he attempted to persuade you to put the weapon down. "It's okay. You aren't there anymore. You're safe," he assured. "You can drop it. It's okay." He stayed in that spot, repeating those phrases until you lowered the weapon.

Finally, the widow bites hit the ground. You drop down along with it. Slowly, Sam takes a couple of steps toward you. Knowing you were still startled, he squatted down to your level to make himself less of a threat. He kept some distance between you, instructing FRIDAY to turn on the lights. "You're safe. I'm here. It's okay." You quivered in fear. Although you saw Sam before you, you only heard your uncle's voice -- the monster who took advantage of you. Your mind was playing tricks on you. "Breathe with me, yeah? Ready? One, two, three, four…." You obeyed his instructions.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Soon enough, your breathing went back to normal. Your sobs shift to hiccups and periodic sniffling. Sam waited for you to settle more before questioning, "Is it okay if I move closer?" He didn't want to set you off again.

You nod.

"Are you sure?" 

You swallowed. "Yes," you whispered with a croaky voice. 

Carefully, Sam scoots to sit beside you. He makes a point of keeping some space between you. You sit in silence for a while. He wants you to take control of the situation. He doesn't want you to feel pressured to talk. You recognized the silent act and appreciated him dearly.

"I… I thought I saw him." You glanced up at Sam; your voice was low, shaky. You pointed to the corner adjacent to you. "H-He was right there." Sam doesn't speak. He held out his hand as a silent invitation of reassurance. His eyes and the expression on his face held sympathy. You clutch his hand like your lifeline.

"He can't reach you anymore." Those five words caused a loud sob to escape. Sam pulled you onto his lap and nestled you as you let it all out. He couldn't prevent the tears from falling. Sam hated that this happened to you. No one deserves to feel manipulated and violated.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

You sat there for who knows how long. Waves of grief and pain danced throughout the room as both of you cried. Sam grieved with you as you wept over the loss of who you once were. Truthfully, he felt responsible for what happened to you. The man wished that he was there to protect you that night.

He hadn't noticed that you'd fallen asleep until he heard the sound of soft snores. Guessing that you wouldn't want to sleep in your bedroom for the rest of the night, Sam slowly maneuvered himself to carry you to his room instead. Sam spotted your teddy bear in his peripheral vision as he approached the door and grabbed it before walking down the corridors. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about waking anyone else in the Compound because only You, Sam, and Natasha lived on this floor. As far as Sam knew, Natasha was still visiting her sister, Yelena, in Ohio.

Once he settled you in his bed, Sam made himself a makeshift bed on the floor at the end of the bed. Sam knew you'd end up scolding him in the morning for doing so, but he didn't care. He checked his phone for the time and noticed a message.

Message from Nat:

Hey. Friday alerted me that [Name] had a nightmare again. My flight isn't for another hour, but I'll be there before she wakes up. I know you've got them, so I'm not too worried. Update me tomorrow :)

Delivered at 2:35 a.m.

I finally got her back to bed. This one seemed much worse. I'll tell you more in the morning. Have a safe flight, Nat

Delivered at 3:56 a.m.

Sam checked up on you again before allowing himself to fall back asleep. "Sweet dreams, [Name]."

~~

As you wake up, the scent of lavender and pine trees greets you. From beneath you, you can hear Sam snoring. Usually, you'd scold him for the potential back pain he'd experience later. But you were too exhausted today to do so. Despite your body's protests, your brain determines you are better off continuing your education. Some of you believe that connecting with friends will lift your mood. So you try not to wake up Sam and sneak back to your room to prepare for the day.

You were better off staying at home. 

The school hours are a blur. You lack self-control. You are not present mentally. You've detached yourself from everything. You were tired of your peers and those who didn't know you well. You wrote your exhaustion off as pulling an all nighter, which wasn’t too much of a lie in your eyes. That was your explanation when confronted with your unusual behavior. Most people bought it. It took more sway from Peter, Ned, and Michelle. They stopped bothering you after you assured them you were okay, though you still occasionally felt some concern. When the day is done, you are overwhelmed by the amount of skin you would brush up against while walking through the hallways to your next destination. You're quick to pack your belongings and rush out of the building. You don't bother to say goodbye to your friends.

A black Corvette Stingray awaits you just outside the school's main entrance. "Hey, Solnishko," Natasha says as you enter the car. When you questioned Natasha one day during your training session, she explained that it meant "little sun." She described you as having a bright and fiery essence, similar to the sun. And you became her little sun from then on. However, her little sun isn't shining as bright as usual today.  

The term endearment makes you smile but doesn't reach your eyes. Natasha doesn't comment on your gloomy disposition.

"Hi," you reply. "How was your trip?" The upbeat tone you desire does not come through. As Natasha drives away, you concentrate on the blurry scenery outside the window. You cringe internally at your lack of enthusiasm. Even though small talk is the last thing you want to do right now, you last saw Natasha a while ago. You were missing her presence.

"It was great. Later, I'll fill you in on everything." Only a murmur is returned, so the redhead ends the conversation there. The only sound on the return trip home is the radio playing at a low volume.

Natasha knows that you're not yourself. Your body language reeks of detachment. She doesn't take offense to the lack of expression you offer her. Sam gave her the run-down of last night's events once you left for school. She sees herself in you, and it pains her. The same drained look in her eyes after the memory of the past that Natasha pleaded to any god who would listen to escape. She knows how it feels to have her body controlled in such a terrible way - Innocence that was snatched away without any consent. It upset her terribly, but the most she can do is comfort you in any way she can. 

Once you enter the Compound, she guides you to her room, knowing that you usually find solace in her bed compared to your own. "Do you want to talk about it?" You still stand at the edge of her bed, arms crossed against your chest as comfort. She sits with her back against the headboard, waiting for you to make a move yourself. She waits patiently for you as you ponder whether you want to relive the nightmare again. You crawl over to the opposite side of the bed and lie so your head rests in her lap. "You know, I was talking with Bruce the other day, and he told me our skin regenerates itself every 27 days," you say as she caresses your cheek. "It's been two years, Tasha; why can I still feel him?" Your voice cracks as the tears you've been fighting away resurface.

Natasha's throat runs dry at your words. She wants nothing more than to harm the man that hurt you. Of course, there isn't a time limit when it comes to healing from trauma, but she hates that this still affects you so profoundly to this day. "I don't know, Solnishko," she whispers. She's at a loss for words. She knows nothing she says will immediately take away the pain you experience. "I'm sorry I can't take the grief away, sweetheart. If I could, I'd do it in a heartbeat." 

"I know. But your presence is enough for me." You bask in each other's comfort for a while. "Is Sam still home?" 

"Yeah, did you want to see him?" she asks, and you nod in response. 

"Okay. Hey Friday?" she calls to the Artificial Intelligence. "Can you tell Sam to come to my room, please?"

"Of course, Ms. Romanoff," the AI replies after a beat.

After a few minutes, a knock sounds at her door. Granting the man entrance, Natasha gestures to the teen in her lap, who has their eyes closed. "Hi, honey," Sam greets them as he nears the edge of the bed. Slightly opening your eyes at the sound of his voice, you grin. "Hi, Sammy," you whisper. 

"How are you feeling now?" He asks you. Observing your face, he can see signs of exhaustion in your eyes. 

"Very drained," you admit. "But a little better now that both of you are here." As much as you love everyone on the team and have a strong connection with them, you've always been more connected to Sam and Natasha for some reason. And the two of them love you like their own. They both smile softly at that. 

"How about we all take a nap, yeah? And then we can go out for dinner later?" Natasha suggests, looking at Sam for his thoughts on the suggestion. 

He nods. "Sounds good to me. Is that okay with you?" He asks you for confirmation.

You nod in agreement. With a yawn from you, you all situate yourselves on Natasha's bed. Sam and Natasha lay on opposite ends, with you in the middle. They wait until your breath evens out before speaking quietly. "I might call the school tomorrow to excuse her. She needs a day for herself." Sam tells the redhead. 

"Yeah, she needs it. Maybe we could plan an outing with the team for her." She kisses your forehead, brushing your braids out of your face. "Or just with us, depending on how she's feeling in the morning." 

Sam nods at the idea and closes his eyes; Natasha follows suit. And for a while, it's quiet until he says, "You know, you'd make an incredible mother, Nat." The statement causes Natasha to open her eyes again and look at Sam. He knows the subject of motherhood is a touchy one, given her background, but he can't help but admit it. He honestly does believe his friend would be the best parent. "Thank you. You know, you wouldn't make too bad of a father yourself, Wilson. You already have the terrible dad jokes downpacked," she says with a light chuckle. 

He sucks his teeth. "They not that bad."

She smirked lazily as the jet lag from the mission caught up to her. "Everyone else begs to differ." 

"You think they'll be okay?" Sam asks as he stares at the sleeping teen between them. 

"They always do. They have us in their corner to guide them," she reminds him, and he nods in agreement. If you were anything like either of them, you wouldn't let this throw you off track forever. You always bounce back from whatever obstacles life throws at you. With that, they fall asleep with a heaviness in their hearts for you, but they know you'll be alright. 

[hyuge]

Pushes Him Whispering

Touya has always hated fire. The irony was not lost on him. As a fire god, humans feared him. He had set one too many villages ablaze on accident. Fire is temperamental. Even as a god, he has struggled to control it most his life. He, himself, was also temperamental. A trait he had developed from his father. He wondered if those born of fire were inherently bad. Touya lost count of how many times he had hurt himself and others. It was more than he cared to admit. Now, he lives in relative solitude. If he doesn't bother anyone then he can't hurt them. The last few centuries he's taken to idly watching the world around him, especially the birds flying free. Touya would never dare touch a bird. They were too fragile. So why did your red-tailed hawk insist on landing by him?

"I'll burn you," he warned on more than one occasion.

The hawk would cock its head to the side and stare at him with unnaturally golden eyes. It watched him and he watched it. Its nest was nearby, having made its home at the top of a very tall tree. The hawk would swoop down, snatching snatching field mice for lunch and Touya would watch. The sun's warmth settled on his skin, blanketing him in sleep. When he woke, the hawk was there, perched just above his head, watching him sleep.

"Like what you see?" He asked.

The hawk inclined its head as if in thought. It was sad to think his only friend was a wild bird.

"Should I name you?" Touya asked the hawk. Its life was fleeting and his was long. Naming the bird would only bring him sadness. "What about Keigo?"

The hawk trilled.

"Keigo it is," said Touya.

With nothing better to do with his eternal life, he continued to watch the bird daily. Sometimes Touya would talk to it as if it had any clue what he was saying. It made him feel a little less lonely and like he wasn't just speaking to himself. The hawk never shied away or attacked him. Maybe it sensed that he wasn't human but it still kept a health distance. That was for the best, lest Touya accidentally burn it. Birds weren't built to handle heat. It was a lazy, quiet life but Touya was content.

Touya hard grown too comfortable in his current environment. The other shoe always inevitably dropped and this time, it came in the form of a nightmare. He woke up to a blazing blue inferno around him and a bird pecking his head. Touya had started a fire in his sleep and Keigo had tried to wake up.

"What are you doing you dumb bird? I'm immortal! You aren't."

Touya sat up in a hurry and called the flames back to him but it was too late. The forest was scorched and the small bird of prey was injured. Keigo's wings were toasted and he struggled to breathe. His chest fluttered with each raspy breath.

"You idiot! Why would you risk your life to save me?" Asked Touya, scooping Keigo into his hands.

Keigo chirped. Shit. He couldn't let this one small creature die. Mortal lives were fleeting and Keigo was just a bird but Touya had to do something. He couldn't be the cause of yet another death. "Hang on birdy," he said.

Touya cut his hand and golden blood flowed from his veins. He let the ichor drip onto Keigo's body and carefully pried the bird's beak open. As blood dripped into Keigo's mouth, he swallowed. Golden eyes glowed in the evening light and his small, feathered body began to grow and expand. Gone was the small hawk that laid in Touya's lap. Now, a man with sharp, golden eyes and hair, and large red wings peered up at him.

"Keigo," breathed Touya.

The leaden weight that has crushed his chest finally lifted. Keigo reached up, touching Touya's hair. "You gave me a name but you've never told me yours."

Touya's eyes widened. "Oh. It's Touya."

"It's nice to meet you, Touya," said Keigo fondly.

Written for DabiHawks Week Day 2: Mythology, hosted by @dabihawksweeks.

Also on AO3

[dalek-ix-writes-stuff]

Red Ruin - INTERVAL 01: INITIATION (Part IX)

The plan worked. Largely, Blake suspected, because of the part of the plan that Ruby hadn't told them about.

The fires had been mostly underbush, and had taken two swings from the Schnee and a handful of rounds from Yang to set. Now a curtain of smoke rose up and then east, blown by the wind. They had no way of communicating with each other after splitting, but Yang had assured them (or, rather, the Schnee) that that wouldn't be a problem.

Blake could guess why.

They moved in silence (relatively speaking), Blake's mind processing what she'd heard. She'd thought that Ruby was "just" a Hunter-in-training with a telepathic semblance. Which was… Dangerous, yes, but at least something that the hidden Faunus knew where she stood with.

Now, however…

"Lien for your thoughts?"

Blake started. Her eyes shot to Yang, who was keeping pace with her.

"… It's nothing," Blake said, dismissively. Yang chuckled.

"Yeah, I don't need Ruby around to know that's bull," the blonde shoot back, a cheeky note in her voice, "And something tells me it's not because you're in awe of your temporary partner. But I could be wrong!"

Blake rolled her eyes at that. "No," she deadpanned, "You're not."

"Shame. What is it?"

They slid to a stop.

Just like that, the light atmosphere was cut. Blake wondered if creating massive mood whiplash was something learned or genetic.

Blake took a deep breath. This… Wasn't quite something she'd never done before. But still, she had to handle this carefully.

"Your sister," Blake started, "she's read my mind. Actually read my mind."

Yang nodded. There was a brief second when Blake expected the blonde to laugh off what she claimed, but instead Yang said, almost to herself:

"Yeah. She told me you found that out."

Blake kept talking, even as she began to sketch out potential escape routes; there was something about Yang that was reminding her of a mother bear with cubs.

"I thought it was a Telepathic Semblance," the hidden Faunus continued, "But I know that those can only really reach the surface and she…"

Monsters don't feel guilty.

"…She said something," Blake continued, "something that she couldn't have known about without looking deeper. Deeper than any semblance could've looked."

Yang said nothing. She just kept looking at Blake, face neutral.

"And now…" Blake swallowed. "There's no possible way that a semblance could let someone move that fast and read minds. Not even the Schnees'. It's just not how they work."

There was a long pause.

"What is it?" Blake asked at last.

"It's not a semblance."

There was a… Tightness to Yang's voice. An old, old rage. She wasn't looking at Blake anymore but past her, fists clenched hard enough to shake.

"I wish it was," Yang said, "We all wish it was. As for what it is? Doctor Wade says Ruby's a Telepath, hardwired to be sensitive to negative emotions. Ruby says she has a "condition". I say my sister has a fucking curse."

There was a crunch as her first connected with the trunk of a nearby tree. The wood exploded, everything above where she'd hit tossed up and away, landing with a resounding crash.

Instinct had pushed Blake a step away from Yang. She watched as embers flickered along the other girl's hair.

The blonde lowered her arm and, deliberately, unclenched her hands. Breathed out.

"Ever since she was little… Nightmares so bad she wouldn't sleep for weeks… So bad they'd spill out and rip everything around her apart… hallucinations… hysteria…" Yang shook her head. "She didn't get more than two hours of sleep at a time until she was eight, didn't smile until she was ten, and I didn't hear her laugh until she was thirteen. She's never even tried to make a friend outside of our family and Doctor Wade." Yang brushed her hair. "She's… Okay now. Functional. But every now and then…"

It deserves to die.

Blake nodded. Yang looked… Older. Like some of the Brothers and Sisters in the White Fang who had been there for the longest.

Then her gaze focused on Blake, and she got that "mother-bear-with-cubs" impression again.

"I won't tell," Blake told Yang preemptively, maybe a bit too hastily as she saw the blonde's eyes narrow subtly.

"Ruby promised to keep what… What she knows about me secret," Blake explained, "Even assuming anyone believed me…" Blake shook her head. "It wouldn't be fair."

Yang still looked skeptical. "Fair, huh?" She drawled, arms crossed, "What's she keeping a lid on that makes you think this is fair?"

Blake bit her lip. She'd hoped that would've been enough to satisfy Yang, but it looked like the older sister was a lot more suspicious than the younger…

There was one thing Blake could do. An older infiltrator had once told that the best way to get humans to stop looking was to make them think they'd found what they're looking for.

It was still going to be a gamble. But Blake believed she could handle the fallout if she lost.

Before Yang could say anything else, Blake reached up, and tugged. The bow came off.

Whatever Yang was about to say died in her mouth.