#the lesbian in me is awakening | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unclewaynemunson · 1 year ago

Text

The sequel to Nancy Wheeler's lesbian awakening has arrived :D

While Robin is out on her date with Vickie, Nancy is sitting alone in her room, using the excuse of doing homework to never get out of there again. She has a history book and her notebook on the desk in front of her, but can't even bring herself to read a single letter. The only thing she's able to do is to stare at the pages blindly, while her mind is completely elsewhere. She doesn't see any of the black-and-white pictures in the book in front of her. No, all she sees is color: Robin's magenta painted lips inching closer towards her; the rosy blush on Robin's cheeks; the sapphire blue of Robin's eyes; the bronze of Robin's freckles...

She sighs and drops her head in her hands. At least she finally understands why she got so unreasonably upset every time she thought about Robin and Vickie together. Turns out it had less to do with her failing to be a good ally for Robin and way more with, well, her wanting to be the one going on that date instead of Vickie. It was jealousy. And it's only gotten worse now that she's kissed Robin and has become conscious of her own feelings in this matter.

She never even thought being kissed could feel like that. With Jonathan, and before him with Steve, it had always felt like she was playing a part. It wasn't unpleasant, she could definitely enjoy it every now and then, but she had always been hyper-aware of the steps she needed to follow, the invisible rule book that told her not to be too needy, or too boring, or too predictable, or too unpredictable. With Robin, it hadn't been like that at all – or at least not once they'd gotten past the part of Nancy's rules and properly got lost in their kiss. It had been equal parts comfort and heat, soft and passionate, sweet and hungry... It had been thrilling, and it had stopped Nancy's brain like never happened before. She wasn't playing some part or doing things because she thought she was supposed to do them. She wasn't even thinking at all. She was simply drinking in Robin's taste and enjoying herself.

And now, she can't think of anything but kissing Robin, while Robin is out with another girl, possibly kissing her this very moment.

She's driving herself crazy sitting alone in her room with her thoughts, but it's not like she's got anywhere else to go tonight. Usually, she'd go to Robin whenever she felt like she was losing her mind, but for obvious reasons, that's off the table now. So she resorts to staring at the books in front of her again, failing miserably in yet another half-hearted attempt to focus on her homework.

And then the phone on her nightstand rings, putting her out of her misery with the hopes of literally any kind of distraction.

She picks it up before it can even ring a third time.

'Nance!'

The sound of Robin's husky voice saying her name makes her heart stumble in her chest.

'Thank God you're home. Can I come over?'

***

The doorbell rings four times in rapid succession. Nancy can clearly envision her father downstairs in his armchair, rolling his eyes from behind his newspaper. It makes her chuckle to herself while she rushes down the stairs.

'What's wrong?' Nancy asks as soon as she has swung the door open: Robin is looking... distressed is probably the right word for it. She's pale and has this worrying look in her eyes. 'Did things go wrong with Vickie?'

Robin's eyes flash over Nancy's shoulder and into the hall, where the door to the living room is open.

'Not here,' she says in a low voice. 'Can we talk in your room?'

Nancy leads the way up the stairs, and as soon as her bedroom door is closed behind them, she barely has to ask what happened for Robin to start talking, fast and rushed while pacing back and forth over the floor. Nancy goes to sit cross-legged on her bed while her eyes keep following Robin's movements like a cat, never once letting her gaze wander.

'So I was really looking forward to this date, right? I've liked Vickie for ages, our first date was pretty good, Vickie is awesome and hot and cute and pretty much everything a lesbian like me could wish for... I was really excited about where this was going! But I really, utterly, spectacularly messed this one up, Nance!' She continues before Nancy can even ask what happened, words pouring out of her mouth in rapid succession like she's simply letting her whole stream of consciousness spill over Nancy's carpet.

'She's just like me, alright? She just mirrors all my nervousness and anxiety right back to me, and that makes me even more nervous and anxious, and we kinda get into this cycle where we're both going crazy, and I couldn't help but think I need someone who can stop me and set me at ease with reason and logic and preferably some calmness. But anyway, that's not even the point here. We got through the night, and it was not like it was bad, you know, we still had a good time and it was nice and she looked very pretty so it was fine, you know. And then she walked me home and, um, we kissed.'

Finally, she lets a silence fall. Those last two words were uttered softly, with a blush on her cheeks, like it's something she should feel ashamed of.

Nancy now knows that the nauseous feeling rearing its head in her stomach has nothing to do with the fact that Robin is dating a girl. But this isn't about her, so she plasters on a fake smile.

'That's good news, right, Robbie?' she says.

'No, it's not!' Robin all but screams in frustration. 'Because I was doing it right, just like we practiced, I was following all the rules, but... but... I didn't feel anything! When we practiced, I felt a million things, Nance, I felt like I could implode because of all the things I was feeling – and with Vickie, nothing! There was just her mouth and it was wet and I kept overthinking about where I should put my hands because you didn't tell me the rules about that and I – God, Nance, I basically fled inside and smashed the door in her face! I just left her on my porch without a goodbye, I feel terrible about it! But I also don't want to kiss her again and – and – I don't know what to do!' She takes a deep breath, clearly on the verge of tears. 'I don't know what to do,' she repeats, this time in a softer voice.

Nancy pats on the duvet beside her, silently telling Robin to sit down, and Robin lets herself fall on Nancy's bed without much elegance. The movement makes Nancy bounce up and down on the mattress while she thinks about what to say.

'Can I tell you a secret?' Nancy asks her.

Robin nods, looking at her with an expectant gaze.

'I found out something, after our kissing lesson,' Nancy starts to say. Her heart is beating in her throat. 'I – I thought it was all about rules, about this kind of imaginary playbook that prescribes exactly how you should do those kind of things. But I was wrong. And I only found out about that when I kissed you. I taught you the wrong lesson. It's not about build-up, or strategy, or about who should lean in in which ways. It's about...' She pauses, takes a deep breath to push herself to go on. 'I only understood when I kissed you what it's about, Robin,' she confesses. She can't bear to look Robin in her eyes anymore and adjusts her gaze to the blanket underneath her, to her own hand absentmindedly playing with a loose thread in the crocheted fabric. 'I never understood that before, because I didn't feel it when I'd kiss a boy. That's what it's about: feeling things. Enjoying things. Having your heart speed up and your brain shut off and feeling like you want to keep kissing each other forever.'

'Nance.' The way Robin says her name is barely a whisper.

Nancy slowly lifts up her head to meet Robin's eyes: there's a shocked look in them as she stares at Nancy slightly open-mouthed.

'I think that's exactly the difference between when I kissed Vickie and when I kissed you.'

A warm hand curls around Nancy's, sending sparks all the way through her body – like no touch of a boy has ever done for her before.

Nancy can't possibly suppress the smile that's spreading over her face. A warm, giddy feeling shoots up from her stomach to her chest.

'Wanna try again, just to check?' she asks while squeezing Robin's hand.

Robin frowns. 'Try again? Do you mean kissing Vickie, or kissing you?'

Nancy feels her smile widen until it might just split her face in two. She leans forward, not waiting for Robin to take her own turn leaning, but directly resting her forehead against Robin's.

'You're an idiot, Robin Buckley,' she murmurs, right before she lets her lips find Robin's again.

Robin reacts immediately in a way that's nothing like their kissing lesson. It's not following any of the rules, and it awakens something almost primal in Nancy: it's teeth awkwardly clattering against each other, it's hungrily licking into each other's mouths, it's panting and smiling and everything at once.

It all feels so completely different from what kissing used to be like. No rules, no gameplay, no thinking. The only thing left is pure, unfiltered wanting. Wanting to inhale Robin whole, wanting to swallow her sounds, wanting to have their limbs entangled in every possible way, wanting to feel more of her bare skin against her own... It's so overwhelming it would scare Nancy if the wanting wasn't so strong, simply leaving no room for any other emotion.

When they finally break apart to get some fresh air in their lungs again, they're both panting heavily. Robin's chest is heaving, her lips are swollen and her hair is completely disheveled – and she has never looked more beautiful.

A low giggle escapes Robin's lips. 'Yeah, um, I think we should check some more,' she says, her voice breathy and so goddamn sexy. 'Just – just to make sure, y'know.'

'Good idea,' Nancy says with a nod before she leaps forward to press Robin down on the bed and climb on top of her, leaning down instead of forward to find her way back to those perfect lips.

Taglist: @robins-gay-suspenders @au79burger @agathaharkness-simp @notablog4242 @defnotarobot

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #(please duffers i am begging you to give nancy a lesbian awakening in s5)#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #stranger things #fruity ficlet

214 notes · View notes