#the last parts of her letter too; 'everything i gave you i'm taking back. i will not sacrifice my children to your anger'

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

morality of her actions aside ayse really gave murad the biggest fuck you possible wow. the shock and dawning realization on his face was cathartic ngl

[jakeswifez]

THE COLLAR | s.jaeyun

୨୧ -› when sunghoon's little sister will meet her virtual best friend after 10 years, but everything goes wrong.

୨୧ -› brother's best friend!jake x best friend's sister!reader]

Warning -› possessive brother's best friend, lies, "enemies" for lovers, death threats, obscenity, loss of virginity, oral sex (both), horseback riding, semi!public sex, in the pool...

It was just another day at school, as I was Sunghoon's sister I had to deliver letters to him and his friends, because the girls in my class didn't have the courage.

"- y/n, could you give this letter to Jake, I can't stay around him for long." Of course, I'm not going to lie to myself, I have a crush on SimJaeyun, I've felt this since I was 8 years old when my brother took him home to play video games

"'- I'll give it to you yuna, you can leave it to me" I gave her a genuine smile because I wouldn't get mad at her because of that, because in everyone's mind Jake and I are enemies who talk out of obligation because of my brother, no I can deny it, I think Jake hates me, I don't know...he looks at me strange, so I have to pretend that I hate him, even though it's the opposite.

I got up immediately because the bell rang, I took the letter and left my room heading towards the lockers. From afar I see my brother and his friends and I go to him, immediately handing the letter to Jake.

"-wow, Park y/n handing me letters, this is new, don't be jealous, sunghoon" he said laughing ironically at my brother, I rolled my eyes at his stupid idea

"- I'm sorry jaeyun, but even dead I wouldn't write a letter to you, instead I would much rather write to Jay" I said with venom on my lips, I can't deny it, Park Jay was very attractive I had a crush on him in teaching medium, but nothing that would last.

He soon made a strange face as he turned away, saying something that I couldn't hear very well, but who cares, it won't change anything in my life. I turned to sunghoon saying that I was going to meet chaewon, leaving there heading towards the field I felt the back of my neck burning, but who cares, right?

"- y/nn, come here" I heard chaewon screaming for me so I went to the place and sat down with her

"- well, do you have any news about wonbin? I heard that he will come here to see you, I'm very excited, finally we will meet" she said, jumping excitedly, as she was always curious to know who the mysterious boy was who sent me messages all the time.

"- yes, I'm excited too, I've been waiting for this for ten years, but he's coming next week, because he has a football game at his school" I said looking at Chaewon because it seemed like she was happy for me , I always told her that he helped me in the best moments of my life, in the ups and downs, those that I never managed to talk about with my brother or my parents.

"- it won't take that long then, but did you finally hear the news?" she said excitedly, I always wonder where all this excitement comes from, but I think it's part of her personality

"- I didn't know, why?" I asked myself curiously, because nothing ever happens at this school.

"- jay is having a party at his house after the game, you're going to come with me, right? you know I don't like going alone" oh no, she looked at me with those puppy dog eyes, idiot, she knows that's my point weak

"- I wouldn't go if you weren't, but how are you going to do what" I said in defeat because those eyes always win me over

"- THANK GOD, after years you're going to a party with me" she said exaggeratedly because she knows very well that I just didn't go to the other one because I had injured my ankle.

"- I'll see you at the game then y/n, I'll meet you at 1 o'clock in the afternoon??" I wave slightly and go straight to my brother's car to wait for him, as he always talks too much with Jake.

After 5 minutes I see him and Jake coming towards us in the car, as Jake is coming along I already know he will sleep at home, as always, 1 day before the game he stays at home, I think this is useless, but what can I do?

I got in the car without saying anything because I didn't want to include myself in their conversation, but sunghoon asks me a question

"- y/n, are you going to the game tomorrow?" he asked looking in the rearview mirror with a questioning look.

"- yes I will, I will go with chaewon she asked me to go" I immediately heard some giggles

"- I thought you were going to be talking to your little friend y/n, news" Jaeyun said between nasal laughs

"- yes, I wanted to, but he also has a game to play, you're not the only one Jaeyun" I said, picking up my things as I had already arrived home, getting out of the car I heard a bit of my brother's conversation

"- jake don't do that man, you know she gets angry easily, seeing you do that doesn't even seem like it...." I only heard half-heartedly because I closed the door seconds later, entering my room and sitting on my dresser to take off my makeup, until I heard a notification coming from my cell phone.

• wonbin sent you a message.

I immediately had a smile on my face, as I hadn't spoken to him since early in the morning.

*- hi dear, how are you??

I immediately replied

*-hi wonbin, I'm fine and you? So, are you looking forward to tomorrow's game?

*-Well I can't deny it, I'm really looking forward to the game, but I know I'll do well

*- convinced, you see, but I'm going to sleep, I'm exhausted, tomorrow I'm going to my brother's game too, I'm already feeling a headache

*- you're right, I need to sleep too, my trainer wants me to be there at 10 am, honestly I'm lazy, but what can I do, good luck to your brother tomorrow, good night kitten

*- good night

After I sent my last message to wonbin I heard a knock on the door, I looked up and saw someone unexpected

Sim jaeyun

"- what are you doing here jaeyun, go to my brother's room" I said getting ready for bed, I heard laughter near me and I immediately turned back.

"- calm down kitten, don't be like that, I was just going to ask you a question" he said placing his hand on my cheek lightly running his thumb over my skin.

"- then speak quickly, I'm dying of sleep" he looked at me and then asked

"- are you going to Jay's party?" the question was unexpected, I almost couldn't pay attention because his hand on my face was giving me goosebumps

the sexual tension just building in the air, making me nervous

"- yes I will, why?" With a touch of confidence I managed to answer him, but soon I felt him approaching my face, heading towards my ear

"- good to know, I'll see you there, kitten" then he walked away and went straight to my brother's room, I was stunned by what happened seconds ago, why is he acting like this

I immediately lay down and thought [Sim jaeyun is very strange] I thought to myself before falling asleep

First thing in the morning, I was woken up by several messages from wonbin

• 9+ wonbin messages

I opened it immediately to find out what happened

*- good morning sleepyhead *- I received that necklace you sent me *- is it a star? *- you are the best girl *- does she have a pair??

I was confused because the necklace would arrive after 5 days, as I sent it yesterday morning, I thought it was strange.

*- Good Morning *- has it arrived yet?? wow that was literally quick I thought it would arrive in 3-5 days, but I'm glad you liked it *- and yes, it's a pair lol, yours is a star and mine is a moon, because you are the brightest star I've ever seen

*- eww, very cliche

*- WONBIN!!!

*- calm down, I'm joking, kitten lol, my trainer is calling me, I'm going, bye *- calm down, I'm joking, kitten lol, my trainer is calling me, I'm going, bye

I turned off my cell phone and went straight to the shower because in a little while I was going to meet chaewon

wearing a white skirt with my brother's team shirt, I put on light makeup because I would have to go back to get ready for the party together with chaewon, I put on my sneakers and went to the living room to wait for her

I soon heard a knock on the door, I grabbed my things and opened the door.

"- y/n in heaven, you look amazing as always, ready to go girl??" she said with coke in hand, then handing me one

"- of course" he said with a smile on his face before leaving

Arriving at the field, it was literally full, but there is always a corner reserved for me at the front, after asking people for permission I soon sat down to watch the game

nothing interesting happened during the game, until jaeyun scores a bicycle goal and celebrates with that beautiful smile of his that makes my knees go weak

"- wow girl, close your mouth or mosquitoes don't come in" she said mocking me, I straightened my posture looking at her

"- stop talking nonsense chaewon" she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the game

the game ended 3x1 for us I was happy for my brother, seeing him smile like that makes me feel happy for him, but soon I changed the direction of my eyes to Jake, he looked so handsome with that smile and shining eyes, but I soon diverted my attention with chaewon asking me to get ice cream before we packed up

I sat in the store chair and soon an attendant with feline eyes came to assist us

"- hello, have you already chosen your preferences??" he said with a smile on his face showing his dimples on his cheeks

"- oh, yes, I would like flaky ice cream and you y/n?" She said looking in my direction catching my attention

"- um, I would like strawberry ice cream please!" I said nervously because I thought he was really cute.

"'- ok! would you like anything else?" He looked in my direction and I immediately spoke

"- could I know your name?? sorry if you feel uncomfortable" I said embarrassed

"- oh okay, my name is jungwon, and yours, miss?"

"- my name is y/n, nice to meet you"

"- the pleasure is all mine y/n, I'll prepare your orders and be right back" he said going directly to the counter

I then looked towards chaewon seeing the mischievous smile on her face

"- shut up chaewon" I said

"- but I didn't say anything" she said between smiles

after a few minutes you saw jugwon returning to your table with your orders, he placed the orders on the table and then gave you a wink

you felt your heart skip a beat, and your face turned red

"- you fall in love very quickly y/n" you whispered shut up to her and started to enjoy your ice cream

"- oh, y/n, he left you a note" she pointed to the note next to her bowl and you immediately took it

"XX XXXXX-XXXX" call me ❤️

You got home, took a shower and went to change, I did my makeup, not too strong but not too soft, soon I heard Chaewon come back from the shower

"- hey y/n, did you send a message to jungwon??" she said

"- I'll send it now, I'm just going to apply some lip gloss" I did and then added his number to my phone

*-hii, it's me y/n!

Surprisingly he responded very quickly

*-hii y/n, how are you?

*-I'm fine, what are you doing??

*-I'm getting ready for my friend Jay's party, and you?

*- what a coincidence!! I'll be there too lol

*-that's good, I'll see you there then

*- ok, bye

*- see you soon, princess

"- chaewon from heaven, jungwon is also going to the party!!"

"- that's great!! Just don't get too excited maybe your brother won't like it very much"

"you can leave it" I told her putting on my short black dress, showing too much skin and wearing my heels

Arriving at the crowded party, we were immediately greeted by the jay

"-y/n, you came, you wonderful"He said, wrapping his arms around your waist and squeezing

"- you too park" you said putting your arms around him

"- ok ok, let's go y/n, we have to get our drinks"

"meet me later?" Jay asks in my ear, I nod slightly and he smiles sideways

I went towards the kitchen with Chaewon to get the drinks, we took them and went to look for my brother

Then I see him and I go towards him, and he looks to the side and sees me, He looked at my clothes not very happy

"why did you come with that outfit y/n" he said looking into my eyes but I didn't care and went to greet the people

After a while, I got a little drunk, but I was still conscious, I went to the dance floor and started dancing, after a while I felt someone's hand on my hip

"you look beautiful y/n" I hear a familiar voice in my ear, I look over my shoulder and see Jungwon

"so you came jungwon" I said touching his chest

"but of course, I was giving up but you said you would come" he said dancing with you

you started to dance rubbing against her, and soon you heard a moan in your ear

"holy shit y/n, you dance really well" you looked at him and looked at the bulge in his pants and then pulled him to a distant place

"the kitten was excited?? I'll help you with that" you immediately pulled him in for a kiss, asking for passage with your tongue which he accepted with open arms, he squeezed your waist pulling you closer so you could feel his bulge

You soon got on your knees and massaged him over his pants and he soon moaned slyly

pulling down his pants along with his boxer shorts his dick jumped almost hitting his face, you spat on your hand and started caressing him

"please y/n, I need you" he said slyly, as much as you want him you won't lose your virginity in the bathroom, so you decided to use your mouth

You stuck your tongue out and put him in, he soon let out a moan, accelerating his pace, his legs began to tremble with so much pleasure, he pulled the back of your head closer to his pelvis making you choke.

"I'm coming y/n...I'm coming" he said, letting out a loud and sly moan, you sped up and gave him a blowjob, which made him release his orgasm deep in his throat, moaning loudly

You took him out of your mouth, and he fixed his pants and then pulled you in for a kiss.

"you did so good for me princess, do you want me to reward you?"

"no need jungwon, I appreciate it but my brother is already going to look for me, will I see you around?"

"definitely" he left a peck on your lips and walked away

you went to the kitchen to drink some water, and soon you heard a laugh, You turned back and soon saw Jake

"what a beautiful performance you did with that boy, I didn't know you were like that, kitten "he said with a teasing smile on his face

"I hope you keep your mouth shut" you looked at him and noticed something shiny on his neck, it looked like....no..it couldn't be, before he said something you questioned

"jaeyun, what necklace is that around your neck?" you said calmly, you looked at his wide eyes and you already knew the answer.

jake was wonbin

" so does that mean you lied to me the whole time? I trusted you " you tremble

"y/n no, it's not that, it's just" you immediately interrupted him

"that's what!!! fuck jake, you literally impersonated someone I don't even know now!! you fooled me for 10 years!! do you understand that?!" You said with anger in your eyes.

"the reason is because I'm fucking in love with you!! I've been in love with you since I was a child!! I literally had to put up with you being with these useless boys for years!! now I had to witness you giving that son of a bitch a blowjob" he He came closer pinning you to the wall making you look at him scared.

“you belong to me y/n, you always belonged to me!!” He said grabbing your wrist pulling you to the guest room, entering the room he soon threw you on the bed and locked the door

"Now I'm going to show you, kitten, who you belong to" he said hovering over you, kissing you roughly

"fuck I've been waiting for this for years kitten, I love you so much, if I see you with him I'll kill him, do you understand?!" He didn't hear any response and slapped your ass, soon hearing a moan coming from you.

"with words princess"

"yes, I understand...jake, I belong only to you"

Satisfied with your answer, he takes off your shirt and then helps you take off yours, then bends down to kiss your neck, leaving several marks on it.

Ele abriu seu sutiã e começou a chupar seu mamilo, recebendo vários gemidos seus.

He kissed my breasts going to my belly, while he kissed my belly he pulled down my panties

"how beautiful you are, kitten, how did you hide this from me, hmm" he put my legs on his shoulder and I started kissing my clitoris, starting to suck it, moving his tongue down to my entrance

"so good..hm" I said between moans, as he accelerated his tongue at my entrance making me feel that knot in my belly

"are you close kitten?" sucking my clit more fiercely making me moan loudly

"I'm close jaeyun, ah" my orgasm arrived making a mess on his beautiful face, he licked everything and got up to give me a kiss

"you have amazing taste kitten, I could stay there for hours" placing me underneath him while he placed his dick at my entrance

"hm, jake...I'm a virgin" I said immediately for fear of hurting, he looked at me with wide eyes

"so I'm going to be your first time?..I'm going to make sure this is your first time with me and forever" he said with possessiveness in his voice

He wrapped my legs around his hips, and caressed my hips

"I'm going to take it easy at first, okay, just don't tense up, otherwise it won't hurt more" he placed his dick at my entrance again and started to penetrate, I felt discomfort at first and a burning sensation but I didn't want to stop

"you're so tight..." he moaned after his cock was inside me, he waited a few minutes for me to get used to it

"can you move, please" he shook his hips calmly, but then he started accelerating

"do you think that boy's dick would satisfy like mine? huh, kitten?" he spoke rudely while looking at me, speeding up even more, until he made me feel him in my womb

"no... no jake.." I said moaning slyly as the pleasure was overwhelming, he placed his hand below my navel and squeezed

"you feel that, it's my dick buried deep inside you" I looked at my belly as I saw his dick hitting my skin, I fell with my head back moaning loudly as my second orgasm was approaching

"your pussy is so good kitten, it was made for me" he moaned loudly as he accelerated his pace, making us feel enchanting pleasure "I'm close y/n, I'm coming, I'm going to bury my children deep in your pussy so you can get pregnant with me so no other man can look at you, only me" after he said that I spilled on top of him, my juices running down his my pussy to my legs, meanwhile Jake was perceiving his high, still making me moan with the overstimulation

"I'm coming...calm down...I'm coming" I felt his cock twitch inside me as he moaned slyly on top of me

He fell next to me and pulled me into his chest, stroking my hair, I felt so loved at that moment.

"you did so well for me kitten, I love you" he got up and went to the bathroom getting a wet towel to clean me up

After cleaning me, he told me to change because my brother was going to look for me, I put my dress back on and started to fix my hair.

At the moment Jake was putting on his shirt because that was the last piece of clothing he was missing, the door opened, and who was there?

park sunghoon...my brother

"oh sorry..." he looked at my face then at jake immediately his eyes went dark

"What the fuck!!" it's me and jaeyun are dead now.

part 2??

[sysmedsaresexist]

The Giant "Is RAMCOA, now OEA, antisemitic?" Debunk

Here's the last version. This one is... wow.

So here's the thing, this has taken me way too long, so here's the format:

- A summary of my point.

- A ramble about my point written forever ago.

- All the possible talking points discussed or debunked

You can just scroll to the bottom until you see "DEBUNK" if you really want to.

I'm tired. No one has time for this bullshit. This post isn't formatted the best--that's what I get for doing this on mobile. Take it as it is, the links are all included.

The ISSTD (the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation) and the OEA (Organized and Extreme Abuse) sig (special interest group) are not rooted in antisemitism. The "facts" against the ISSTD are twisted and unclear, and they aren't meant to help Jewish people or survivors. They discredit the ISSTD and the trauma basis of CDDs (complex dissociative disorders).

The Satanic Temple (TST) and Grey Faction (GF) aren't just protesting medical malpractice.

They believe that the DID diagnosis is the malpractice.

They believe that CDDs are a fad created by and from the panic of the 80s, that it's PURELY iatrogenic in nature (caused by therapists, iatrogenic is a specific arm of the fantasy theory) and therefore any proof that DID exists and is rooted in trauma is seen as some kind of direct insult to them. As if DID being real means that Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) must be real, and SRA has always been, and always will be, an attack on TST.

They believe that SRA and Ritual Abuse (RA) are one in the same (good thing the ISSTD renamed it :) ), and that SRA cannot be separated from other conspiracy theories like MKUltra.

TST be like:

Alt text: a meme photo from The Office saying "They're the same picture".

The rumors and claims that you see talked about primarily come directly from a letter by The Satanic Temple and Grey Faction, written in 2019 to try to have the ISSTD's Continuing Education certification revoked. This is where the resurgence starts and what got lights on all this.

They (that is, TST and GF) seem to believe that this letter played a part in the name change, claiming that it scared the ISSTD.

For some reason, the CE certification thing seems to really stand out to GF and TST, and they can't quite keep their story straight about what the issue is-- whether CE Learning refused to accredit any courses on "mind control" (they didn't, the ISSTD created their own system for CEs and stopped hosting on CE Learning), or whether it's just because they're attacking a therapist who gave a mother -- that would go on to kill her son -- some resources, and decided that meant she should never practice ever again (because they're angry that the ISSTD implied that they're using the tragic case for their own gain, the drama between these two groups ffs).

The letter, the name change, the rise of QANON, and finally, the resignation of GF leadership, would result in what we're seeing today.

Grey Faction and the TST are the root of every over-exaggerated rumor you hear, and this post intends to prove that.

It's not so much about debunking every claim -- because yes, bad things happened to a lot of people during the panic -- so much as an attempt to arm you with more information about the topic or situation. That way, you can make your own decision about whether the claims hold up to scrutiny and support a narrative of antisemitism and conspiracy within the ISSTD, or whether TST and GF continue to push their own agenda and the same dozen lies from over 3 decades ago during a time of societal uncertainty.

Not everything you read is accurate and true, and this entire situation highlights the need for media literacy and investigation.

So let's go.

Summary:

So, all of these talking points can be DIRECTLY linked back to GF/False Memory Syndrome Foundation (FMSF), and them alone, they're the origin.

You can't spout those points and say, "But don't trust Grey Faction."

Those are the things you can't trust about Grey Faction.

You can't say that they're right about, and the source of, all of these things, but wrong about implanted memories, because ALL of their content is a story that leads UP to the existence of false and implanted memories, in support of TST and discrediting their relationship to the panic.

There's no other conclusion.

They only care about putting the TST in a better light, even if that hurts survivors.

And we know they don't care about Jewish people, because the TST is openly antisemitic.

The below is a direct quote from Lucien Greaves, massive TW for antisemitism:

Like, I think it’s okay to hate Jews if you hate them because they’re Jewish and they wear a stupid fuckin’ frisbie on their head [correct term: yarmulke or kippah] and walk around [and] think their God’s chosen people, but it’s not okay to hate somebody [‘born of Jewish blood’] just because their parents were stupid fuckin’ Jews and wore stupid frisbies on their head and thought the Jews were God’s chosen people […] Not everybody of Jewish blood is okay with me, it depends on if they follow the Jewish, uh… […] Satanic Jews are fine.

My ramble:

You don't get to pick and choose what to believe when it comes to Grey Faction. If their claims about the ISSTD being the instigators and maintainers of the satanic panic is true, then they must ALSO be correct about false memories.

They can't be a trustworthy source for some things and not for others, because these concepts are intertwined completely.

False memories and the idea that the ISSTD is filled with conspiracy theorists that still believe in SRA go hand in hand. Iatrogenesis, implanted memories, hypnosis, and coercion. They believe all memories recovered in therapy are false. The recently dissolved FMSF focused on all forms of abuse, getting involved in murder cases (testifying on the side of perpetrators to discredit witnesses and victims by proving that memory is unreliable), rape cases, and of course, incest cases (I tried to find a good link to put here, just google Elizabeth Loftus testifies). TST and GF are solely focused on DID and the ISSTD, but the idea is the same.

According to GF, memories of abuse, especially ANY form ritual abuse, are fake and implanted, and anyone who supports recovered memories are SRA conspiracy theorists, AND THE TST DOES NOT DO THE SRA. They are very, very adamant about this.

Do you see how this works now?

They are also the source of the claim that the ISSTD and RAMCOA are antisemitic, despite being antisemitic themselves.

No, seriously.

On the Psychological Projection of Antisemitism by Satanists

Doug Mesner (Lucien Greaves, Satanic Temple) Anti-Semitic Rant

I highly suggest giving this a read if you want to know more.

I contend that GF and TST are antisemitic (see above) and trying to shift attention, and are keeping the panic alive on their own (see below)

I'm going to elaborate with a disjointed ramble

Grey Faction can't be trusted because everything they do and say has the ultimate end goal of proving therapists implant memories of abuse in their clients. See my last post about SRA and the memory wars.

Like, if Grey Faction is correct about all their assertions about the ISSTD and its members, then they must ALSO be correct about false memories, because those ideas are completely intertwined

Alt text: A gif from Ralph Breaks the Internet with Ralph saying, "One cannot exist without the other."

And yet, the same people telling you that RAMCOA, now OEA, is antisemitic will also tell you not to trust Grey Faction and that they're not a reliable source

Alt text: A screenshot from a reblog, stating, "reminder that the Grey Faction sucks." For context, Morlock has been posting that RAMCOA/OEA is antisemitic.

Which is it?

We know, for a fact, that "false memories", as presented by Grey Faction and the False Memory Syndrome Foundation, are not nearly as black and white as they would have you believe. This article is going to be a fantastic starting point to understand what exactly FMSF, TST, and GF are arguing about memories, and the ISSTD counterarguments. It's a very long read, but well worth it.

Recovered memory therapy is the hot topic here. Grey Faction would have you believe that the ISSTD still practices this therapy to this very day.

Alt text: A gif from Are You Afraid of the Dark. A teen throws powder into the fire, setting the scene for a spooky story.

They don't.

Grey Faction's proof FOR false memories is the ALLEGED and SUPPOSED behaviour and words of the ISSTD members under fire.

Despite the numerous allegations of TST and GF misquoting and twisting quotes. You'll see this later.

These are the same stories people are repeating now, in support of the relation between RAMCOA, now OEA, and the satanic panic, and therefore antisemitism.

Lucian Greaves was literally told at one point that medical malpractice can be fought without attempting to discredit DID and his response was basically, "How?"

Hopefully this link works (you'll need to be logged in to see), but if it doesn't, search Lucien Greaves' interactions with TheRingsSystem on Twitter for a truly enlightening experience on how this motherfucker interacts with the world.

DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THE PROBLEM HERE?

The Debunk

Before we start, I want to look at the type of lies and twisting that we're going to see, give you an example of what to look for. I came across this article while I was making this post.

ISSTD Exposed: A Culture of Conspiracy, Grey Faction

This is more about the ISSTD's CE credits and the name change. This line in particular caught my eye, because for once it had a link.

Numerous threads mention “Satanic ritual abuse,” usually abbreviated as “SRA.” Michael Salter, on the Board of Directors of the ISSTD, in one comment refers to “SRA” as an “insider term” that should be avoided when talking to “outsiders.”

Oh, ominous.

Given the opportunity, I'm going to look and see what really happened.

Let me paraphrase. A very awkward, potentially troll student account asks about the origin of the term mind control. She then goes on to describe how she's terrified of using this language around outsiders, as it'll destroy her credibility with its supernatural and conspiratorial background and create barriers in the conversation.

Michael Salter responds that the term originated during the Cold War along with brainwashing and is very outdated, and no, it's not received well outside of RAMC Specialist Circles. He tells her organized abuse is the better term and goes on to explain that organized abuse is a general category for sexual abuse involving multiple perpetrators, that includes practices such as ritual abuse, child exploitation material and mind control. He says, "We see a spectrum of ritualistic or controlling behaviour in organised abuse - ritual and torture is sometimes present, but often not, and it occurs in many different ways and at different levels of severity."

I speak directly with police and policy makers about the kinds of torture that we see in organised abuse, including the intentional inducement of dissociation, but I would never use the term "mind control" with non-specialists. It's associated with movies and television more than "real life". At the same time, it's a useful shorthand amongst people who specialise in RAMC and we haven't found a good substitute for it. It would be good to develop a more contemporary vocabulary I think.

This comes back.

The thread then goes on to discuss other options for terms and "soft exposure" through media being the connecting language that allows clinicians to communicate with a general audience, and bad/inaccurate representation in media and online. Another clinician responds that she agrees with Salter, explaining that she doesn't want other providers or their clients to misequate media depictions to real life.

Michael responds to her about an ongoing research project looking into the perception of the term, talks about differences around the world in the view of the terms, and discusses pedophile and other "cult-like" organized crime groups. That's about as close as we get to any mention of conspiracy theories or satanism.

They talk about whether it's better to choose terms that confront the horror of the experience, or if they try to conceal that horror with a more generalized term.

Tara Tulley, who we talk about below, makes an appearance to say that most people who contact her about RA only know SRA, and it's an incredibly inaccurate depiction of organized abuse. Tara says that she's struggling to get people to separate RA from SRA, and to change the terms they're used to.

Michael finally says:

Thanks Tara - agree that we should use the terms that people are comfortable with and understand. It's just that "insider" terms like SRA and RAMC are translating poorly to "outsiders" like law enforcement, other mental health contexts. I guess we just have to be mindful of our audience.

Remember what the complaint was. Go back. Read the actual thread from the ISSTD yourself. And then reassess.

Nothing about the ISSTD thread was inappropriate or hinted at conspiracy theories. It was actually an incredibly productive conversation for everyone involved. It really painted the picture that everyone wanted to separate old SRA ideas from the reality of organized abuse, or RA, as it was most commonly known.

In fact, it explains the exact thought process behind the usage of the terms and how they actually apply in the world. Like how its handled with police.

Because yeah, police kind of suck at handling and believing these kinds of claims.

Mostly because the TST won't let it fucking die. They won't stop equating it.

So here we are, with

Michael Salter, the conspiracy theorist.

Let's look at some of these claims directly from the horse's mouth and see where they come from.

There's now a second post, too! Exciting!

I want to start with the ONLY point I agree with.

Ritual abuse and satanic ritual abuse are inherently linked terms.

Which is why it's now called OEA.

Keep this in mind. We're arguing about something the ISSTD already addressed and fixed. RA and SRA are too closely linked for comfort. So they renamed it.

Back to that horse, though. This horse is different from other horses because this one believes that the abuse itself is real. Most don't, which is always a red flag.

This saves me from having to prove that, at least.

Starting from the top of post 1:

Alison Miller? Quack conspiracy theorist loses her license.

ISSTD Therapist Loses License Following Grey Faction Complaint

Alison Miller has turned in her license as a result of a Grey Faction complaint

Alison Miller was retired at the time of their complaint. There's no license to hand over. She hadn't practiced in years. GF claims, very boldly, that they are the reason her license is suspended, and they are the ones continuing to push this ridiculous lie.

Source: Grey Faction

George Bergen's claims against Colin Ross (and others, because Ross is not named in several of the filings).

Links to an affidavit from 1997. Bergen a member of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation. In fact, HE CREATED AND RAN THE CANADIAN MANITOBA BRANCH. And he's kind of racist against native people. Fuck that guy.

Bergen is filing the affidavits on behalf of his wife's sister, who committed suicide in 1986. There's VERY little information on his wife and the suicide, but it's important to note that his wife left him before he filed and has never retracted. He even writes about her as, "my estranged wife who has not (yet) retracted."

Just something for thought. I think there's some shit we don't know about here. Anyways, the case was tossed out. We touch on this again in the second post debunk.

The second link is... oh. Wow. Grey Faction and The Satanic Temple themselves.

Doug Mesner is one of the many names of Lucien Greaves, the antisemitic asshat mentioned above. He runs The Satanic Temple. He's also the one who posted and hosts the affidavit package. He helped Bergen write it.

It's getting kind of funny that the openly antisemitic person is accusing other people and things of being antisemitic. It's almost like a racist is attempting to divide marginalized communities into hurting each other using soulless buzzwords. How weird.

Source: FMSF

Braun and his license.

The link is to psychsearch, owned by Ken Kramer. He's wild. It's always funny to me when he comes up.

So, Braun did lose his license after the case of Patricia Burgus (not to be confused with Bergen above), but it's important to note that Burgus already claimed to have 20 personalities when she met Braun. He didn't give her MPD or implant memories.

For this, you need to use your imagination a bit. Braun and Burgus met in 86. She was his patient for 6 years, as the panic started and blew up. At the time, the purpose of the ISSTD was to quickly develop urgent treatment guidelines, which didn't yet exist. These doctors were flying by the seat of their pants. Yes, mistakes were made, but the ISSTD has always acknowledged that. These were unprecedented events, and no one knew what to do. The ISSTD members of the time took the stance that their clients, often children, were telling the truth.

It's not implanting memories if you're asking your client to elaborate.

Please remember that we don't know what happened in all of these cases. It is, unfortunately, more likely that clients came up with these stories themselves, and were encouraged by the therapists asking for more information.

Braun was not convicted of any wrongdoing, it was a settlement case paid out by the hospital's insurance company. Braun wanted to go to trial to disclose the transcripts, where SHE makes the claims. She even said in an interview, “It fit in with everything else [Braun] told me I was saying in therapy."

Braun would then go on to lose his license again for over prescribing medication in another case.

Source: Grey faction supporters twisting truth in a case that can't be disclosed due to confidentiality

Salter and the tunnels

Let's see what Salter says (PDF)

The findings of an archaeological dig at the McMartin preschool site, which uncovered recently backfilled tunnels and ritual articles in accordance with the children’s disclosures, came too late to counter the momentum of the backlash (Summit 1994a).

It's interesting that he cited something there. Hmmmm. I can't actually find the paper but I did find a FANTASTIC summary of it. Summit references an archeology report that was released in 1993 that found evidence of tunnels, which turned out to be something else unrelated. The revelation came to light in roughly 2002.

The paper by Salter was published in 2008, long before he became involved with the ISSTD. He was likely still in school when he wrote that short piece, and he doesn't typically include it on his CVs. I wonder why.

I also want to look at this.

It's really important because it talks about how believable the surveyor's report was and why so many fell for it.

Salter has never spoken of the tunnels again. We talk about Salter again in post 2.

Source: Grey Faction twisting truth for two decades

Tara Tulley?

What's linked is a consent agreement between Tulley and the board of licensing, hosted on the TST website. Much like Braun, this is a case of the board and licensee agreeing not to go to trial. Within the agreement, Tulley disputes the facts against her but understands that this is a quicker resolution for all parties.

The main issue actually seems to be her application for renewal not being filled out correctly, and Tulley explains that she didn't realize the investigation was active at that point.

But yeah, I'll admit, Tulley is a weird one. Very weird.

Source: Does Grey Faction have nothing better to do?

George Greaves?

I can't get this link to work. He was only ever a member of the ISSTD for a single year around 85 or 87. He was more involved in Ridgeview than the ISSTD. He lost his license in 94 and never really surfaced again. Why are we talking about him? Are we trying to say the ISSTD is terrible because of very short run-ins with shitty people?

Source: Grey Faction sure does like talking about him considering how long ago that was and how little he was involved.

Francois Saculla?

WAS NEVER INVOLVED IN THE ISSTD, YOU FOOLS. He attended the APA's MPD workshop in 79. Ohhhhh, scary. Get it right.

Source: the horse only

Eileen Avani?

In the linked consent order (again, like Braun), Avani doesn't admit fault, and the board actually accepts her explanation and proof that she wasn't actually offering services or treating the roommate.

It's frustrating, because this document doesn't actually talk about Avani not reporting trafficking or anything. I can't actually find any information on that. Where did the horse get those claims?

I'm genuinely asking, because even Grey Faction doesn't make that claim. I feel like people are just playing broken telephone with links.

Avani was assisting someone who had been trafficked in childhood. There was no duty to report, and she was passing the client along to and assisting another treatment provider.

And that's post 1.

I HIGHLY urge you to google each of the above names followed by ISSTD, and just take a glance at what comes up.

(Spoiler: it's ALWAYS Grey Faction, you'll be hard pressed to find anything that isn't directly GF, or citing them in their own article)

Jfc, okay, post 2, which is from the horse's friend.

This one is so much longer and annoying.

To start, again, the ISSTD came together to handle the surge in cases, seek support from other clinicians, and to develop treatment guidelines. The panic started BEFORE the ISSTD. The Chicago clinic opened to take the huge numbers of people claiming to have MPD, amid the growing satanic panic. The ISSTD didn't come into existence and then all these cases appeared. Patients from across the WORLD, already claiming to have MPD and memories of SRA, were being referred to the newly opened clinic, created to TAKE THIS SURGE IN PATIENTS.

The panic started in 1980, after Michelle Remembers was released, and the ISSTD formed in 84, not 83 as stated by the horse's bff.

But where did we get 83? From Richard Noll, star child of the FMSF. I talk more about him further down.

Spiegel, Kluft, Braun and Miller all responded to this article, calling it inaccurate, but because the article keeps getting posted and pulled, it's hard to find originals.

So did Frances, and we all hate him.

There are so many claims in this post that are uncited, and by the time you finish the articles, you forget what you were fact checking. I don't know where the claims about SRA in the DSM come from, because it's not in the article linked.

I mean, the link even goes so far as to speak positively of Braun and his changing mindset.

Many psychotherapists who have been vocal about a supposed epidemic of sexual abuse by well-organized satanic rings have grown more cautious of late. "There's clearly been a contagion, a contamination of what people say in therapy because of what they see on TV or read about satanic ritual abuse," said Dr. Bennet Braun, a psychiatrist who heads the Dissociative Disorders Unit at Rush-North Shore Medical Center in Chicago.

This would imply that Braun got better about all this over the years. If that's the case, why are we still saying he believes all that?

I'm starting to get the feeling that no one is reading their own links

But that's Braun, what about Colin Ross?

Ross was never found guilty or convicted of malpractice, as the horse's friend claims.

Ross has been named in several suits, but never convicted. Ross is the most vocal about what a confusing time this was, how hard it was to tell fact from fiction, and how hard it was to balance dis/belief with neutrality.

And of course, we link directly to Grey Faction about the eye beams. You might be surprised to learn that Ross has a sense of humor and entered a paranormal contest. It's really not that fucking deep, people.

More about Alison Miller, who says that Grey Faction is twisting the truth.

I don't know why they threw in Neil Brick without a single citation. Oh, wait, yes I do. Their only source is Grey Faction, and Brick talking about his experiences. Like fakeclaiming.

Michael Salter, this time they admit only Grey Faction is talking about it and there's no other sources. See above.

I'm not commenting a single Wikipedia link, and these people should be ashamed for including them.

Tara Tulley, see above, no she wasn't.

George Greaves, see above.

This is so repetitive, they all say the same fucking things, and it's all wrong and skewed the same way.

The way Grey Faction wants to present it.

The wording of the next paragraph is SO telling.

The ISSTD has annual conferences, each being either recorded or documented, several of these being notably controversial. In 1988 they aimed to verify cannibalistic satanic cults who participate in human, specifically child, sacrifices, this was investigated and then debunked by the FBI.

Almost like, they talked about something to get more information on it, and got that information.

How dare they.

From 1990 to 1998 ISSTD conference guest panelists had been accused of being Satanists if they portrayed any skepticism towards the connection between DID and SRA; this is documented in several instances. (No link, An Interview with Frank Putnam, Part II." ISSTD News)

Are you saying you couldn't find a link to support you? Or are you saying that you couldn't find an interview with Putnam II? There you go. I highly suggest actually reading this to see what he ACTUALLY says. This is the line that got me. "I was accused of disrespecting victims." I think these arguments are being framed way more negatively than they should be. I don't think this was about upholding SRA conspiracy theories, so much as balancing skepticism when faced with patients' claims. It ignores that Putnam HIMSELF was called a satanist.

Clearly not everyone within the ISSTD held the same beliefs, so I'm not sure what people are hoping to prove here.

The horse's friend then goes on to link to the TST, saying the only source of the claim is Grey Faction, and it's just the TST talking about a Grey Faction letter.

TST owns Grey Faction. Never forget that.

NONE OF THESE LINKS ON THE TST SITE WORK, I'M GETTING SO FRUSTRATED

We're linked to a letter by Evan Anderson, Grey Faction leadership that would resign in 2024 because of how much the TST was inserting themselves in Grey Faction and trying to control their actions. With Anderson gone, Greaves is now in charge.

Anderson said,

I ignored a lot for the sake of the campaign. I no longer can. I can recognize a witch hunt, a budding culture of paranoia and conspiracism.

Hmmmm, interesting timing.

Already we should be calling bullshit, just because of how stupidly hard it is to find ANYONE other than Grey Faction talking about it.

The horse's friend then goes on to incorrectly state that the FMSF started because of the ISSTD, which is wrong. The future members of the FMSF were pushing false memories in the 70s. Read this post. (This is where you can find more information on Noll's associations with and support of TST.) Their claims exist outside of SRA. They want to discredit ALL survivors.

Then they finally go on to say that they tried not to use only Grey Faction as their source, but did they achieve that?

FUCK NO.

Every single reason cited for why RAMCOA, now OEA, is antisemitic, and for conspiracies existing within the ISSTD comes directly from Grey Faction, and happened DECADES AGO.

But don't trust Grey Faction.

WHICH IS IT, THEY CAN'T BOTH BE TRUE

Do you have any idea how many members are part of the RAMCOA/OEA sig? And we keep talking about the same 6 or so people, and theories and thoughts from over 40 years ago that those people DON'T ACTUALLY STILL BELIEVE. I think this post by TST might put the TST's and GF's goal best.

According to The Satanic Temple’s spokesperson, Lucien Greaves, “We are very happy that the board moved to revoke the license of Tara Tulley, but Tara Tulley is only one member of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, an organization largely comprised of mental health professionals who subscribe to bizarre and harmful conspiracy theories that some of them impose onto their clients, burdening the mentally vulnerable with crippling, fearful delusions, and propagating destructive QAnon-like paranoia. It is our position that the mental health profession should do more to rid itself of this embarrassment and ensure that those licensed in the field adhere to empirically-supported clinical practices. It is our position that the ISSTD should lose all professional standing, and they should not be allowed to administer Continuing Education Units to professionals who attend their conspiracist lectures.”

The OEA sig is one of 12 that the ISSTD runs. In 2022, there were only 29 members of the OEA sig, and it by no means includes all of the members of the ISSTD that work outside of OEA. Other sigs include acute care, child and adolescent, creative art therapies, eating disorders, neurodevelopmental disabilities, EDMR, and vicarious trauma.

None of that matters, though. The TST and GF want to see the ENTIRE ISSTD burned to the ground.

The timing of this surge in RAMCOA talk coincides with the TST/Grey Faction rift, as Greaves and his chronic online-ness took over.

And what is Greaves? A racist, a man whose sole goal is to silence survivors, and an ISSTD hater.

Knowing a good deal more about the situations above, go back to that original letter and reread the complaints.

[megamindsecretlair]

WIP Tuesday

Buckle up babes, it's going to be a long post!

I come before you humble, hat in hand. I know I been wilding ya'll. I know there's a lot of fics I need to update and get back to. I haven't forgotten! And since there are...so many new people thanks to my Terry fics, what a great time to call myself out chuz ya'll too nice to do so! I saw @nerdieforpedro do this a few weeks ago? Forgive me for not tagging the person you got it from, but I am tiredt, chilleee.

Current focus: Terry got my whole heart, ya'll. Every fic I read of him, I just want to go hop in the booth myself and get to writing. Ya'll inspire me every damn day, it's magical. There is a filthy, disgusting, mean, despicable fic I wanna write with him. But alas, he is not the only one I write for.

Girl, there's how many series????? Listen, the muse wants what it wants. 11 series in total. Chillee, why I do dissssss. Some are closer to finishing than others. So let's count them out (click the links to learn more):

Be My Little Darling - Loki series | It Started With a Whisper - Sam Wilson series | Midnight Sin - Vampire Tyrone series | Blackbird - Mob Boss Fontaine | Camp Wanderlust - Franklin Saint series | What You Deserve - Homewrecker Stunna | Runaway Lover - Professor Stunna | If I Took You Home - Kevin Atwater | Kill Her Softly - Zyair Malloy | A Taste of the Divine - Yakuza Sukuna | We Are the Night - Qimir

Frenn, that's a lot, do you sleep? Are you okay? Blink twice if you need help. I'm promise I'm good ya'll, I just love writing and I love interacting with ya'll. You have NO idea how much each and every single one of ya'll mean to me. I love the support, I love the comments, I love the reblogs. I'm trying not to disappoint folks, I was on a schedule and well, life happened. I can course correct, I promise. Just gon' take me a little minute. Let me close the smaller series first!

Okay, surely that's it right, frenn? Ahh no, because there's also the asks that have been piling up. Per my pinned post, you know that I have a scatterbrain. Some asks I deleted because they're too similar to what I've done before. Some I'm still trying to picture before I start writing. But the ones I've kept? At last tally it is...33. Some are similar and I'm going to combine them, but yeahhhhh. This isn't a callout post, keep sending those requests in! Just know it's gonna take me a smoooooooth minute. Also, welcome new people, welcome! But not everything needs a part two, I promise. If I write "The End" at the bottom, that truly means the end. No part 2 planned, ain't trynna write a part two. I want to move on sometimes. I love you, but I'll be writing until I'm gray if everything got a part 2. And I wanna get paid for my writing. Which brings me tooo...

Umm, umm, what's this I hear about a book??? Yes! I am actually writing a book based on an ask I received. It was a sweet ask about what kind of story would go with "Handwritten Letter". I said it gave friends to lovers, she fell first, he fell harder type of vibes. It has morphed into dark academia about a shy girl just trying to come into her own. It's a combo of and a love letter about girls like me, girls like you, each and every person who identifies as a Soft Black Girl. And I already have *so* many ideas about other books I want to do. There will be one based on the Mr. Black series I wrote. There will also be a vampire one! I just can't decide yet which will be the second book I put out. I'm leaning towards vampire because Terry is HEAVY on the brain ya'll. And he'd make a sexy vamp. But anywhooo...

I say all this to say that I'm not a machine. I'm not that quick despite appearances. I may not seem like I have any chill, but I've been fantasizing and turning over these fics in my head for days or weeks before I sit down to write. And I'm not saying to stop. Your support is exactly why I feel good enough about my writing to sit and write an entire book! I want to be a full time author. I want to share my ideas with the world. I'm just slow lmfaoooooo.

In the mean time, I hope you're hitting up all these amazing writers on here. I hope you're commenting and reblogging and showing love on here. I will keep saying it. This site will DIE and these BLACK writers will LEAVE if people keep stealing, not commenting, not reblogging, asking for part 2s and never showing love. Fandom is a community, not a pillar. No one know it's you behind that avatar, go crazy! Go nuts. Show nuts. whatever.

Love, love, love you all. If you read this far, drop something funny in the comments. Or go unhinged in my asks about Terry. Don't get me started about that man, but go awff about him because that's my baby favaaa.

no pressure tags: @chaos-4baby @j0kers-light @umber-cinders @harmshake @planetblaque @babybratzmaraj @soft-persephone

[spidybaby]

Stressed

Summary: When he's stressed and worried about work, that's the only thing on his mind.

Warnings: angst because I'm a sucker for it 😤

A/N: So I'm inspired, and you already know I love angst, I breathe angst, I eat angst. (Okay, I'm done exaggerating), but lemme know how you are? Are you drinking water? Hope you're fine 💐❤️

Since Kylian sent that letter to the higher-ups of PSG about not wanting to stay until 2025, everything is drama.

The french tabloids, for some reason, want him to look bad, want him to look like this ungrateful man.

He's experiencing too much pressure, Sergio leaving, Lionel leaving, possibly Verrati leaving. It was a mess. The whole teams is.

Especially now that this dumb reporter, her name is Sam, she's all over him about the whole side of him about the leaving, the selling, the quitting of Galtier. He's done with her, with the other reporters, with the ultras hating him for even breathing.

"Don't worry, Kyky, everything's going to be fine." Sergio pat his back, Kylian was one of the first ones to know about his retirement of the club. "Don't let that chick got to you."

"I just want her away from me." He drinks too fast for what he's used to. "Can't she cover something else?"

"Look, hermano." Ney says, he had to deal with the same reporter a few months before. "Just tell her something completely different from what she's asking, and she'll leave."

He knows she just wants to write something before anyone else, something that comes from his own, not for speculation. "Lie to her."

He scuff, it's not that easy to be away from her when she's also part of the PSG press people. She has access to everywhere. That makes him uncomfortable.

"Mira Kylian." Leo says. He's not new to this whole press drama. "Just don't mind her, ignore her, saying you have to be somewhere." He smiles, nodding to his advice.

Leo and Sergio are the ones he trusts with this media hate. They're goats, and they come from a long road. He can't deny that even Neymar is an expert. But he's been there for his own stupid mind, even tho he denied it.

He followed the advice Leo gave him, always ignoring her, saying the usual bonjour or a revoir. Nothing else.

That made her mad. She even asked Galtier for his number, not caring about writing him. That took him to the limit. He couldn't escape her. She was everywhere and anywhere at the same time.

"Don't stress, mon amour." You say kissing his cheek. You're massaging him, wanting to help him relax. "I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. It's only you and me."

You tried everything for him to relax, you didn't know the whole story. He never told you about this reporter. So you only think it's because of the whole letter drama.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

"Bonjour, Kylian." Sam says, looking at him. She's blocking the door of the lockers. "Can we talk." She raised her eyebrows.

"I'm busy." He tries to pass her, but she's not moving, and the last thing he wants is touching her or making any type of contact. "Please move."

"Just five minutes." She says, begging him. "And I'll leave you alone forever."

"I prefer you to leave me alone now." His voice is this deep tone. He's done with her games. "Get out of the way." He ask nicely.

"Four minutes." She begged again.

"Sam, out of the way."

"Three."

He breathes deeply, and he's losing his temper. "I'll say it only one more time, and believe me, that I hate repeating myself." He grabs her arm, not hard but the right amount of pressure to move her gently. "I'm busy." He's mad. His whole day is ruined, thanks to her.

He enters his car, asking the driver to take him home. He's supposed to go to his mother's house, but he's too mad for that.

He arrived home funding. His train bag is now on the floor, you're home early, and you notice the noise, thinking maybe he fell.

"Are you okay?" You ask from your bedroom. Maybe he's hurt. "Ky? Amour?" You talk louder this time.

After a few minutes, you hear the footsteps on the stairs. A very agitated Kylian enters the room. "Hi, handsome." You say, opening your arms to him.

"Remember how you said you can take the stress out of me?" He sais breathless, you nod smiling. "Do it."

You throw the covers away from you. Ready to attack your boyfriend with kisses and attention. Your lips feel heavy on his own. He's tense. You can feel him.

There was no other reason for his mind to be elsewhere, hes uncomfortable by the fact that he has Sam on the back of his head, tunning after him, basically harrassi him.

There's no other reason for him to focus on anything other than you. The way your lips feel on his neck, the way your hands are touching the right places, the way you're making him feel good.

His hips are moving to a very fast pace. He's not one to take his frustration on you, but the way you're moaning his name and how your nails are scratching his back is making him lose control.

He doesn't know how, but it happens. He can't take her name out of his mind, now even when you're taking him so well.

When he dips his hips at a certain angle, the back of your head digs further into the pillow, and he attacks the exposed side of your neck. He's leaving red marks, marking you as his. The groan that's escaping his lips are pornographyc.

You could feel nothing but him, the weight of his body over yours, the thin layer of sweat on his back under your fingertips and on his forehead, making the hair close to your neck to stick to it.

What's making the entire situation so much worse is the fact that no matter how much he tries, he can't stop thinking about her. Not in a sexual way, but angrily wanting her to go away, to leave his mind alone.

His hand is griping your waist so hard. He knows he'll leave a mark. Moans coming out of his mouth. “Fuck, you feel so good.” he goes faster, knowing by the sounds you're making that you're close.

"Sam-" that's when he stops. His whole body stop. He doesn't know why he's saying her name. His eyes are open in a panic.

"Get off," you say out of breath. Your heart is beating as fast as if it's going off your body. "Get off of me."

You push his shoulders for him to get off of you. He pulled out and tried to explain. "Y/n, please, I didn't mean to do that."

Your mind is lost, one moment you're under him, holding him closer, kissing him and enjoying him.

And now you're pushing him away, not wanting him to touch you. You grab the covers of the bed. You wrap it around your body before running to the bathroom.

"Amour, please." He tries to grab your arms. "Amour." He almost catch you, but he's not fast enough.

The next thing he knows is you slamming the door in his face. He can hear the way you're breathing and how you sob. The sound is making his heart hurt.

"I promise I wasn't-" he can't even think of an excuse. He's fucked up, he's hearing the way you're crying and can't think of how to solve it. "Listen, she's a reporter that has been harassing me. She's always on me, and I".

You open the door, interrupting his explanation. You're standing there, tears running down your face, blanket around your body, eyes sad.

"Mon amour." He doesn't know if he can touch you. He doesn't want to make you more uncomfortable than what you already are. "I promise it's not what you think."

You pass him, walking to the room to get your clothes, dressing yourself again, hurried to get away from him.

"Please don't go." He says, hand grabbing your arm. "Please, let me explain." He feels like crying, not wanting to let go.

"Not now." You get off his hold. "I can't do this. Please get away from me." You push him lightly.

"Don't go, I'll go, but you don't have to go." He dresses himself, not wanting you to leave. "I'm fucking sorry." Your back is facing him. You can't look at him in the eyes.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

The past week, you were running away from Kylian, leaving extra early for work and returning while he was still training.

For him, it was hard not being able to speak with you. But you needed time, and he's willing to let you have it. Even if that hurt him in the process.

For you, it's been weird. You can't wrap your mind around the fact of what's going on. For you, it hurts that he didn't trust you enough to talk to you about what's happening, and the other part of you is your ego being hurt by him naming another girls name.

You were sure with a talk and being honest, you both can make up. You trusted him when he says he has never been with her, but you also needed to know the whole story.

The sound of keys jiggling is the way you know he's home. When he walks he sees you sitting on the couch.

He's tired, everyone is hating on him for the stupid tabloids, and he can't even find comfort in your arms because he hurt you without intended to.

"Can we talk?" He swears the sound of your voice is magical. He missed it. He missed you. He nods and takes a seat next to you. "Who's Sam?"

He didn't hesitate to detail the whole thing. The things his playmates advised him. "Kylian, why didn't you report her to the management?" You're mad, not with him but with her for being such a bitch and harass him about a stupid football news.

"Because I thought she was going to leave me alone." He yells, frustrated. "I can't do this anymore."

You hug him, caressing his back and him cry his frustration. His not crying about her. He's crying about the news, about the hate, about the media not leaving him alone.

"I'm here, don't cry." You kiss the top of his head. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you before."

"It's not you, I'm the one who made the mistake of letting her abuse her power." He let you dry his tears. "I'm so done."

"It's not your fault. Don't say that." You kiss his cheeks. "You're fine now, I'm not letting her or anyone hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable." You hugged him. Promising you'll never let him feel that way again.

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 5❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: You're getting closer, closer, closer and closer... and noticed. Word Count: 3,2k Taglist:@aoi-targaryen @budugu @flostvs1508 ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova’s Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 4 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 6 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Something funny?" his question pulls you out of the letter. You glance at him briefly, slowly fold the letter, and put it in your pocket, still smiling.

"Nothing special. Can we return to further discussion?" you ask as he sits down in front of you and places two glasses of kvass on the table.

You didn't talk about… that night. Or previous events. There was a consensual silence between you regarding those events. A silence that was anything but peaceful. It was more like before the storm. But you both chose to ignore it. You had more important things on your mind.

"There is no need. I've already told you. Tracker and some of our people are going to haunt the stag until we won't get the bones. End of discussion."

"But it's Christmas. Is this stag that important? You don't have to send after this poor animal almost 30 of our people." you try to convince him, but he only rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Y/N. I appreciate your opinion, but no one and nothing will change my mind. Not you, not Alina, not Zoya, not any women, do you understand?"

"Why didn't you mention Ivan or Fedyor, or any men?" you ask, crossing your arms, now as irritated as he was just a few seconds ago.

"Because they know too well to try to oppose me."

"Oppose you?" you huff, glaring at him defiantly. "With all due respect, you don't know what it's like when someone REALLY tries to oppose you. At least not in the last month." you see him take a breath to say something, but one look from him at you makes him change his mind and shake his head. He takes the glass and drinks it before deciding to answer you.

"Can we... can we just go back to read those reports and finally write the orders to units? Please." he asks. You sigh and take your pen in hand, continuing to write down on the paper, in a more logical way, notes containing some of your plans.

"If you insist." you mumble over the paper.

"No whining?" he asks in shock and you bite your lip to avoid saying something rude.

"No." you say, shaking your head and reaching for a glass of kvass.

"And you're not offended?"

"Since when do you care?" you snap at him, annoyed. Not only did he stupidly stick to his opinion, but he also made you look like an offensive brat.

"Y/N." he says it calmly, and you raise your gaze to him. He didn't seem like he was doing it maliciously, more like he was making sure everything was okay. Which only added to your irritation. You close your eyes and sigh before answering him.

"No. I'm not."

"Your tone of voice is telling me something entirely different." you narrow your eyes at him and he just shrugs his arms.

"Should I smile at you sweetly to make you sure about that?" you ask teasingly, and he nods, leaving you surprised.

"Yes, please." he says, wanting to see you smiling at him at all costs. He missed this view. You both had a lot on your minds lately, and dark circles under your eyes were starting to appear under your eyes as well as under his own. And he despised them terribly. He smiles, though, feeling a strange warmth dissipate in his chest as you giggle in amusement and give him a mischievous smile. "That's better." he mumbles, shifting his gaze to the papers.

He can't feel like this. He shouldn't want... you. Not after what he went through last time.

And after that night, where he almost gave in to his desires, he promised himself that you wouldn't be his second Luda. You'll end up better than her. He won't let anything happen to you because of him.

"You know... I got something for you." you say, snapping him from his thoughts.

"For me? On what occasion?" he asks, surprised, shifting in his chair. He dropped the papers on the desk and focused his attention on you as you nervously stroked the edges of the report, straightening the corners.

"When I was a child, we used to draw lots a few weeks before Christmas to choose a family member to give a gift to. You know, a small present before the big one. And since I spent half of December fighting for my life with a fever and swimming in frozen rivers, I didn't have time to give it to you earlier."

"Why did you..."

"We drew lots for whom we would buy a gift." you interrupt him before he has a chance to ask you a question. "Me, Fedyor, Alina, Mal, Zoya, even Ivan, and the rest. I had Mal, but since you decided to send him to hell knows where, I figured I might as well give you something."

"Whatever bribe you want to give me, tracker and others don't come back without a stag." he says, crossing his arms. You giggle softly at that.

"I'm fully aware, donkey."

"You're treading on thin ice." he says menacingly, but he can't help but tilt his lips upward slightly in kind of a small smile.

"It's good that you're close; maybe you'll save me again. Come on. Just open it. I promise, I didn't ask David to put any explosives in there." he rolls his eyes but takes the box from you that you left under his desk. He turns the small box over in his hand and shakes it gently, assessing the size and heaviness of the gift. "Are you really expecting a terrorist attack? From me?"

"You stabbed me with a letter opener."

"That was ages ago!" you shout, offended and blushing. "Besides, how was I supposed to know you'd just walk into the war room and stand behind me?!"

"Who normally throws a letter opener behind them?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. He slowly begins to unwrap the box.

"It was from my grandparents. You know how we get along. Besides, I've apologised to you a thousand times."

"And apparently my mental health has been damaged, and now I can't trust you around with any weapon or mistery presents." he teases; you whine at this, and he starts laughing. You smile at the sound and shake your head.

Suddenly, he stops laughing. He holds on to his breath as he carefully examines your gift. It's not a big thing. A simple, black pendant. What is more important is its content, which he stares at in amazement.

"I... I know you don't believe in any saints or stuff like that, but... I noticed that every time we're in the chapel for some kind of celebration, you stare at the stained glass window of Sankta Ursula of the Waves. I found it in some flea markets while we were searching for a stag. I immediately thought of you."

"I…" he has no idea what to say. He didn't know you were watching him so carefully. That you actually care. But now… you didn't even know what it meant to him. Especially since the pendant you gave him and the portrait of Sankt were an exact representation of his sister. Not like that terrible stained glass window. "Thank you." he whispers shakily, because it's all he can do.

You took away his words. More than once. He should get used to this. I want to get used to it. But he can't. He won't risk losing you for a few moments... a few moments that are a young boy's dream.

"Anytime. May I?"

He nods. You stand behind him and take the necklace from him. You roll up the collar of his kefta so you can fasten it around his neck.

Your fingers brush against the skin of his neck, and he has to bite his lip (almost to the point of bleeding) to keep from letting out any embarrassment moan at the small touch.

He despised himself. His mother would mock him so much for weakness and vulnerability like this... but all he could do was sit quietly and appreciate your every little touch.

"Do you like it?" you whisper softly, still standing behind him. Your hands on his arms burn him, despite the thick layers of clothes he's wearing.

"I love it." he answers faster than he can think. He knows you can feel his heart beating wildly. He feels himself turning even redder.

"I'm glad you like it, Aleksander."

He feels blood on his mouth as he bites his bottom lip, hearing you whisper in his ear his real name. He was alternately regretful and glad that you knew it. In moments like this... he wasn't sure which feeling prevailed. Suddenly, he realises that he is gripping the arm of the chair so tightly that his knuckles are white.

Where was the fucking control he had spent years practicing when he needed it most? Where are the walls he painstakingly built around his stupid heart?

One heartrender was enough for all his composure to go to hell. And the worst thing was that, deep in his heart, he wanted to lose himself in you.

He stands up from his chair and turns towards you, looking down at you, trying to intimidate you as his shadows dance around you. But you just came closer. He holds his breath and tries to take a step back, but realises there's no escape as he slams his hips against the desk.

"Y/N."

"Aleksander."

You exchange whispers between the two of you, staring deeply into each other's eyes.

The sudden outburst makes you both shiver. Aleksander automatically grabs your arm and pulls you behind him, covering you as he listens.

"Stay here." he whispers as he takes a step towards the window.

You grab his elbow tightly and stop him. He turns to you, raising an eyebrow questioningly. You shake your head, staring at him defiantly. He rolls his eyes and grabs your waist, tightening his grip as you both walk carefully towards the balcony.

You see smoke rising from the Durasts' workshop.

"Damn it, 5th time in this year." Aleksander curses under his breath, and he releases his grip on your waist.

"They're working on transportation through the fold, be gentle with them."

He sighs and rubs his hand over his eyes. The tiredness becomes clearer on his face as he realises that he's going to have a long night ahead of him.

"I'll try my best. Go to bed, milaya. One of us should be rested." before he knows what he's actually doing, he walks up to you and kisses your forehead.

You stand frozen, feeling his lips on your skin, your heart racing at his gesture more than from adrenaline at the sudden outburst. And then he walks away quickly, leaving you alone.

You can't help but smirk as you watch him disappear into the shadows.

Aleksander is pissed. Nor. He is furious. Mad. Not because of the outburst that happened last night, but because he found out that you were getting more and more letters.

And he managed to intercept one. It was from Mal fucking Ortsev. The tracker you so desperately wanted back at the palace for stupid Christmas.

Everything made sense. Every kind gesture you made this month. And now he was storming through the halls of the Little Palace, straight to the kitchen where the guards had told him you would be, holding an unopened letter from your lover in your hand. A lover who, he will make sure, will never see the gates of Os Alta again.

He storms into the kitchen, and you almost manage to cool his anger when he sees you in an apron, baking some cake. You were singing something under your breath, probably one of those annoying songs that were played in every corner of Ravka.

And he almost melted, fascinated by the sight of you so... calm. A strange fantasy played in his head. You and him together, cooking something for the damn Christmas, decorating the house. He never had a real Christmas. Baghra wasn't sentimental enough to celebrate it, and she taught him the same, but with you... he would do all those stupid things.

Seeing you in this homey atmosphere almost took him off his warpath. Almost.

Until he remembered the letter he was holding and imagined the tracker doing all those things with you. He slammed the door loudly and waited for your reaction.

You screamed, spilling some of the flour you were holding onto the floor. You looked at him, and you were ready to yell at him for scaring you when you saw the look on his face.

"What happened?" you ask, brushing your hair off your forehead and getting flour all over it in the process.

In any other circumstances, he would have laughed; he would have been completely enchanted by your state. But now he was seeing red, imagining every single love letter that you could have written to that damn tracker.

"All these gifts, sweet words—all of it was for your tracker, right? You don't know this boy, you don't know what he is like, and yet you try to undermine my authority and change my decision just for some orphan from Keramzin! What does he have, huh?! What has blinded you, MY SECOND-IN-COMMAND, that you so desperately want this rash fool, who only gets into trouble because of his own stupidity?! Is he really worth risking my wrath?!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"THIS!" he slams his hand with the letter on the table between you. He glares at you furiously as you look at him with an equally defiant attitude. You take the letter and look at it in disbelief and anger.

"Do you monitor my correspondence?!"

"I should have done this ages ago! At least you wouldn't make a fool of me! You can say goodbye to your lovely tacker; I'll make sure he never again sets his foot in Os Alta."

"SERIOUSLY?! Look at me carefully, because I'll only say this once: MAL AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER!"

"Of course." he laughs mockingly and is about to leave the kitchen. You run to him and grab his arm tightly, forcing the letter into his hands.

"Read it." you say it coldly and firmly as you control yourself enough not to scream at him in anger.

"What?" he asks dazedly at your command, looking between your furious eyes and the letter you're pushing into his hands with all your might.

"Do you want to blame me for something? Go right ahead. Read. Prove yourself right." he takes the letter from you.

Jealousy and rage were still present in him, as well as a hint of sadness and hurt. That's what it was. Proof that all of this, every kind gesture, smile, look, touch, kiss—well, not a real one—was intended to bring you closer to another man. A man whose insides he would feed to volcras.

"Here you go." he opens the letter and clears his throat dramatically as he begins to read. "Dear Y/N. Thank you for your help. Alina was overjoyed with her gift. I don't know how to thank you. I'd love to be there for her, but I'm glad that at least you can take care of my beloved while I look for some damn stag…" he falls silent while reading, looking for something more in the letter he has in his hands. He blushes with embarrassment, realising the mistake he has made.

"See?" you ask him and gently cup his cheek with your hand, forcing him to look at you.

"But... the other letters..." he whispers, confused.

"I exchanged them with my brother."

There is a long silence between you as he digests all the information and realises the mistake he has made. He turns even redder at the rashness of his actions. He, who boasted of his patience and the fact that he was never wrong. The slightest suspicion that your heart belonged to someone else was enough to make him want to spill some blood and commit murder. And not yours, but that damn tracker's.

"Oh... the youngest one I guess?" he asks, trying to camouflage his earlier behavior. Or at least forget about it for a moment and let his heart slow down to a normal rhythm. He already humiliated himself enough in front of you.

"Yes." you confirm, a stupid smile on your lips. He swallows, nervous.

"Umm... that's lovely."

"He asked me if I'm coming home for Christams." you tell him, and he holds his breath for a moment, looking at you in anticipation. You don't say anything further. So he clears his throat and prepares to ask the question.

"Are you?"

"No. I'm staying in the Little Palace this year." for some strange reason, these few words bring him more joy than anything else in his several hundred years of life.

"Taht's... that's good. That's good to hear." he nods, unable to look you in the eye. You lick your lips, shifting your gaze towards the kitchen for a moment.

"Do you want to join me?"

"I beg you pardon?" he asks, confused. You nodded towards the bowls and cake you were baking before he came in and… jumped to the wrong conclusions. "I haven't… I haven't cooked for a while." he admits shyly. And you smile fondly as you see him so… ordinary for the first time. Humanly.

"Well, it's the best time to do it again, don't you think?" you ask and are about to pull him towards the table and the ingredients you prepared to make a cake when you feel the urge to look up. And you see mistletoe.

He also looks up and freezes at what he sees. A shiver of excitement and anxiety runs through his body. It was late at night. No one in their right mind would come here. No one would interrupt you.

He unconsciously leans towards you. He slowly lifts his hand and brushes your hair away from your face, gently brushing the flour from your forehead with his thumb. You giggle softly.

You cup his cheeks with your hands, and Aleksander sees in slow motion how you pull him towards you. Your lips get closer... but instead of moving to his lips, you place a tender kiss on his cheek.

His beard tickles you a little, and he can't help but feel deprived and tricked when your warm lips are limited to just caressing his cheek. He almost growls, exasperated, when, as quickly as you cling to him, you pull away.

"Put an apron on. We don't want to have your black kefta covered in flour." you say and go back to the table. You smile evilly. He didn't deserve a kiss after his little act today, but next time...

You squeal as he grabs you from behind and dumps a bag of flour over your head.

"ALEKSANDER!" you shout, and he laughs loudly, not caring at all that anyone might have heard his name. He tries to get away from you when you throw eggs at him.

When you are laughing and throwing everything at each other, you don't notice that the kitchen door is slowly and silently closing. And someone's footsteps echo through the corridors of the Little Palace.

[eisdendrobium]

my first and last letter for you.

pairings : childe x reader summary : after getting your heart broken by childe you decides to move away so you wouldn't see him again, and so you wrote him your first and last letter. note : there'll be a bit of childe and reader's past relationship written so i highly recommend you to read/re-read the first part! ^v^ also this hasn't been proofread!

read part 1 here! : where’s my happily ever after?

ajax, how're you doing these past week? finally getting that girlfriend you've been searching for? lumine right? yeah i met her earlier today, and i could say that she's not what i thought she is you know?

i tried to hate her, and i did, i hated her for taking you away from me. you, someone who i found comfort in and you, who i foolishly fell in love with.

i hated every moment i spent seeing you with her, i hate how pathetic i feel watching you with her.

"why would you like her? someone who just entered your live, someone who you barely know?" that was what i thought back then

but i met her today, i saw how beautiful she is inside, and i hate it. how come she's so nice? how come she's so perfect? she's such an angel compared to me.

i understand why you love her ajax, i would too if i were you. i mean how could you not? i've treated her like a disease yet she's still so friendly, so nice, so caring towards me...

a part of me still hates her, a part of me still can't seem to let you go. you were my everything ajax.. you saved me that day when i was in the brink of death, you taught me what love is - what love could be.

and i thought we had something you know? the way you act, the way you talk, and the way you treat me as if i'll break if you did something wrong. You were my savior, you whom i fell in love with.

but i guess you need someone who could comfort you in your dark times too right? i suppose i was never the person to express my feelings.. never was the person who could comfort people..

but what i didn't expect is the fact that you turn cold so fast. how could you ajax? how could you leave me like that? maybe you finally had enough of my antiques? haha..

since you've already know about my feelings towards you before i had the courage to tell you myself i suppose i'll confess everything in this letter hehe :

ajax, the guy who saved my life when i was in the brink of freezing, the guy who warmed my cold heart and showed me what love is, everything we did i store inside of me dearly.

i still remember that day you knelt down and gave me those qixing flowers, that night you saved me- you bought me warm soup and clothes to warm me up, so many things..

perhaps i didn't thanked you enough.. thank you for everything ajax, thank you for saving my life, thank you for helping me survive, for teaching me how to love, for letting me love you.

yet i'm afraid i couldn't stand seeing you with lumine again, i'm afraid if i stayed here longer the ice you melt will freeze again, freezing me from the inside.

you're happy with her, she's perfect for you, and i've come to realize that i'll have to let you go... i can't share ajax, you know that right?

it's either you for me or not at all, and you love her so i wouldn't force you to love me

goodbye childe, may we meet again in brighter future.. please take care of yourself and her for me yeah?

i love you.

signed, your companion [name].

a/n : reblogs are greatly appreciated! and please feel free to comment what you think about this fic ^^

[shiny-kaibernyte]

If you're taking requests, I love Drayton (favorite Dragon boy) and as a Fairy trainer, I'm super curious what the romantic (and friend) dynamics would be with him. So, I guess I'm asking for Drayton x Fairy reader content? 😅🩷

This gives me opposites attract vibes. The sweet Fairy type dynamic compared to Drayton being Drayton is a vibe I can get behind!

Pixie Wings | Drayton x Reader (Fairy specialist)

Pokémon Scarlett and Violet Indigo Disk DLC Spoilers ahead!

After growing up together traveling the unnova region side by side; when Drayton moved away to blueberry academy, he felt a small part of him was left behind. But fate seemed to have other ideas when a familiar face shows up to brighten his day.

Warnings: Lots of fluff with a little bit of Lacey hate

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers for The Indigo Disk Ending

Why is Alcremie so cute? Like look at that lil guy, lil buddy so happy to be here 💗

Today was the day, the day you would travel to the blueberry academy. The school upon the sea! For the longest time, you had spent all of your time inside a stupid office building of a school. So when one of your closest friends and yourself both received letters of enrolment to the school; the stars aligned again! Though that didn’t stop the waves of nerves rushing over you. Seems you weren’t the only one feeling them, either.

Sitting on the plane, the nerves settled deeper and deeper in your gut as the mixture of excitement and dread flooded your every thought. Questions rolling around like the ocean tide below you, covering your mind like a cloud does the sun.

“What's got you so quiet?” A voice piped up from your side, “Nerves getting the better of you?”

With a deep sigh, you scrunch your noise, fingers placed on the bridge of it. “Sorry, sorry, I just keep thinking about everything that's going to happen when we arrive. I've never gone to a place like this. Sylveon was acting up all morning too, she isn’t much of a flying fan.”

“I get that, Mimikyu is the same, I can feel his ball shaking in my pocket.” A laugh escaped the both of you as the small talk wafted the clouds away from your mind. “I know you are going to be fine! You're the best damn fairy type trainer I know, and I know a lot of them! I went to a prep school for two years. You don’t get more fairy type than a blonde teen obsessed with make up.”

“That is very true.” The smile on your lips grew bigger as you leaned back into the plane seat, looking out the window to see your destination below. “I wish I could tell Drayton about this…”

“I know…”

Time went by quickly. Upon arriving at the school, a fellow Fairy type user gave you a tour of the building and the terrarium to boot. Teaching you all about the BB League and the other clubs around the school. A nice bonding session as well with your mutual feelings on fairy type Pokémon. She was nice, her outfit was cute too, though there was something you didn't quite get along with about Lacey. “And that about sums it up! To recap, the terrarium is split into four sections, the savannah biome is where the school entrance is! If you are a battler, the BB league is located inside to the right of the stairs. The elite four bases are spread out throughout the terrarium. Be careful when you go for the dragon trial, he, um, tends to get a little full of himself. Nothing new though. Just be advised to not fuel his ego any more than it already is.”

“Will do, thank you again for this. We look forward to seeing you at the trials!” You pipe up, disregarding the comment she made about her ‘friend’. With a small wave, Lacey spun on her heel and headed off for the coastal biome.

“Well, that was something.” Your friend piped up, trying not to laugh about how awkward that last part was. “Considering she calls everyone in the BB league club her friend, the way she speaks about the Dragon elite four members says otherwise. I mean she didn’t even use his name? How can we go off of toothpaste for a name?”

“I don’t know, but I'm sure we’ll meet him. Who knows, maybe it's a sibling rivalry sort of thing between them. Kinda felt like it to me.” You question, attempting to come up with any reason she may have been particularly pokey about one member and not the rest.

The sound of a poke ball stopped your conversation dead in its tracks. Your Archaludon had decided he was bored with the conversation and wanted attention now. Sylveon may have been your first Pokémon, but Archaludon held a special place in your heart; being the only reminder of Drayton you had. It was his Duraladon after all, a parting gift he gave you. It may not have been a fairy type, but that didn’t stop you from putting a fairy tera on it. Just for argument's sake.

Sitting down on a random rock, you quietly feed Archaludon a poffin, keeping him entertained whilst your friend rummages through her bag, finally zipping it back up once she was happy with whatever she did. “Well, I'm a head inside. Lacey describing the science club got me all giddy. Joltik agrees with me.” A small chirp followed your friend's voice as her tiny joltik popped out from her hood. How you didn’t notice it this whole time is beyond you. With a silent wave, you watch her walk into the distance. You weren’t alone for long though

“Two new students in one day and no one told me!?” A voice chimed up from along the beach. A boy, taller than others you had seen during the tour. His hair was spiked up at the front in one big swoop, kind of like, toothpaste. Just like Lacey had said. Though you could only see the back of him. From his outfit, he definitely fits the bill of dragon trainer. 

That's when it hit you. Something about that hair seemed so familiar to you, and it hit you like a tauros. “Do my eyes deceive me!? Drayton? Drayton!! I can’t believe it!”

His neck snapped so fast, it was a surprise he didn’t give himself whiplash. The sound of your voice being music to his ears. Seems his feet began moving on their own; he didn’t even register he was moving till he was already hugging you tighter than a mousehold. “How are you here? What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that!” You respond, wrapping your arms around him tighter, still trying to comprehend the fact he really was there with you. “You moved to the other side of Unova!”

Drayton’s laugh coated your ears, causing your already beaming smile to brighten even more. “Well I didn’t say exactly where, probably should have mentioned the ocean school part huh.”

“Yeah, I've missed you so much, Drayton. Things just haven't been the same without your lively presence.” He had no response to that, only a simple hum as he moved away from you, his hands on your shoulders, a smile on his face. 

That's when your entire team all decided to join Archaludon outside. Sylveon comes out first, running around Drayton’s legs, her blue coat fluffing up with every pass she makes. Your Archaludon was already watching the scene, if it had a tail it would be wagging. The sight of his old trainer and his current trainer looking so happy made the bridge happier than a yamper. Vanilla Alcremi came out not long after Sylveon, doing a little happy dance alongside your Hattereen. Silently your white florges admired the situation, being the newest of the team she simply watched, enjoying the reunion that was unfolding.

“Seems you were not the only one who missed me!” Drayton chuckled, running his hand along Archaludon’s side.

“Would seem that way. When Lacey described you earlier, you were not the person I pictured.” You admitted thinking back to what Lacey said.

Drayton smiled and pulled you into his side to allow the Archaludon to nuzzle into him, his arm around your shoulder. “Ah don’t pay Lacey any mind, she isn’t too fond of my fighting style, she thinks my attitude is unprofessional. Her words, not mine.”

“Well I think your fighting style is great, even if I can beat you no problem.” A cocky grin painted on your face, teasing him.

“Oh is that so!? How about we put that to the test, then?” Drayton offered his signature smirk appearing

[deuxcherise]

Collar Crimes: Red Letter

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, yandere OC, yandere male, Eris being Eris, gender neutral reader, reader has some personality in this one, comfort, fluff, angst (?), mentions violence (eye plucking), flashback scene, may include annoying use of "my" a lot, includes a picture of a simple sponge cake (because why not? You'll see~)

A/n: So I happened to come across those Chad skits from SNL (yeah, I know I'm late to the party) and I was also thinking of how Eris met the reader. So this is kind of a prequel to Weasel In, I guess? I highly suggest reading Part 1 before this, but do as you like. Enjoy~

Masterlist | Part 0 (you're here!), Part 1, Part 2

There were many times in your life when you almost regretted taking this 9-to-5 customer service job.

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~” you sing into the phone. “How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?” 

Shlick. Shlick. Shlick.

You hear a growling male voice on the line groan, “Oh god, keep talking–”

You immediately hang up.

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

Professionalism, be damned. Yeah no. You definitely regret taking this job. How did you even get this job anyway? Well, however you got it, unfortunately, it just pays too well for you to just up and quit now.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?”

Then again, being an anonymous voice on the other side of the line is far better than your last job, where you had to wait tables for the mafioso in a very, very scandalously short waitress outfit. You were quite popular because of your unintentional moe gap where you would say some of the cringiest lines in history in a cutesy voice while wearing the stiffest expression. It wasn’t on purpose, the facial muscles on your face just don’t work the way most people’s do.

There are times you think about staff, especially Remy,  the most buffest and nicest chef you have ever met. As much as you wanted to stay with them at the time, you were sure that sooner or later you'd be kidnapped by one of those criminals if you continued to work there.

…..

Well, you technically did get kidnapped, which proved your point. That’s a story for another time.

Back to the point, when you left that job, left everyone and everything behind, you made sure you left without a single trace. You had to. The slightest crumb left behind could have created a scent trail all the way back to you, and you would have been left with only one way out…

You shake your head and body, ridding yourself of those kinds of thoughts. It’s time to re-focus on maintaining your character for your next caller.

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hiiii~ Cherry, Cherry here! How are youuuu~?”

“Salutations, this is Blueberry, sweetheart~ And you?

Although your face lacks the ability to show emotion, internally you smile at the voices of your coworkers, who must endure the same cringiness of stating their work names aloud. When else would one be able to call themselves fruit names?

… Well, you suppose Cherry would, since that is her actual name. How she hasn’t been kidnapped by any of her callers in this godforsaken city is gosh darn miracle in your book.

Your company, Fruity Friends, was created by some previously closeted man, who felt people needed someone—a complete stranger—to share intimate details of their love lives with, without the fear of being outed. Apparently, it was an idea that conjured up during his break at work when he once sat in the restroom stall and spoke to a floating voice who gave him advice to confess to his long-time highschool crush turned coworker. He found out who the voice belonged to, but lo and behold, he ended up getting married to his long-time crush, and thus, with the amount of money and influence he possessed, the company was born.

A noble endeavor, no doubt, but, in your opinion, he might've failed to account for the… inappropriate individuals who you feel should’ve gone into proper therapy instead of taking advantage of a nice-sounding voice. Seriously, the lengths these hooligans go through just to harass other people… Then again, these are often the very people who pay your bills, so who are you to complain?

You hang up the phone with a satisfied sigh, having finished another long call. You had given them the advice to make a list and check it twice before going ahead with their big proposal to their lover. You interlace your fingers and stretch your arms out in front of you. Time to take a—

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?”

“A-ah… um… h-hi there… I'm… Eris… um…”

If you weren’t a professional, you would have squealed out loud. The rowdy ones are common, but the quiet and meek ones are so adorable! Some of your most loyal clientele had started out as nervous wrecks, which means you have quite a few scripted lines to choose from. Although this one chose the most basic package, according to the call line, you always bring your best.

“Hello Eris~ What a lovely name. A pleasure to meet you! How are you?”

You hear him mumbling to himself on the line before he comes back. “Um… is this… really… uh… confidential?”

Ah… Sometimes, they turn out to be one of those perverted bastards like the one earlier. This one sounds too cute, it would be such a shame…

“Why yes, of course, my dear Eris! Everything you say here is completely safe with me. And if you don't believe me, then believe in the contract that had brought us together. There is nothing you say that can be taken as evidence! Rest assured, you are safe here with me, here at Fruity Friends.”

You hear him gasp. “O-oh…okay… Um… I-I'm… your dear Eris?”

Aww, how cute! You hope this customer becomes one of your loyal clientele. Still keeping up your cutesy persona, you answer, “Why yes. And I am your Lychee~”

“O-oh… M'kay… my Lychee…”

You pause, quickly mute the phone for a moment, and squeal to your heart’s content for just a second, before unmuting the phone.

From then on, Eris would return and call for you every single day for months, except for the weekends. Calls could only last about an hour, as per the package deal, since that was the company policy to accommodate multiple customers per day— unless they were willing to pay for the package multiple times. 

On the following Mondays, he'd call in to check up on you and pout about how much he missed you and wished you could talk to you all day every day. And you, in your persona, would reply that you wished you could talk to him all day as well.

It did occur to you how Eris somehow had the funds to completely take up your entire work time. And even stranger is how so far your manager hasn’t complained at all… Well, you’re making your rent on time so it doesn’t matter, right?

Besides, you quite enjoy your conversations with Eris. Once he became more comfortable, he started asking about all kinds of topics, ranging from philosophical takes such as:

“Which is better to eat first first? Steak or salad?”

“Depeeeends! I heard Americans usually eat salads before steaks and the French eat steak before salad. So it's up to you, really, ya know?”

“I see! … Hey, do you think graham crackers are cookies or crackers? I think they are crackers, but what does my Lychee think?”

To things that happened to him recently:

“LyCheeEeeEe!” he whines on the other side of the phone, voice clearly indicating he's been crying. “My LycheEee.”

You play along. “WhaAaaAt, my dear ErIsssSss?”

“T-there…” he sniffs. “There was-was this guy…”

“Awww, noo! What did this mean guy do, my dear Eris? Tell your Lychee.”

You start noticing recently that it seems once a week, Eris would encounter some mean dude who'd insult him and then he'd come to you for comfort. How he always ends up in such situations is beyond you.

And he's always… always does something about it a week later.

“My LycheEeeE.”

“YeeSsss, my dear Erisss?

“You know that one guy… you know the one I told you last week who I keep meeting in the subway, the one who kept saying I keep looking at him funny and kept shoving me?”

“Yeaaaah?”

“I finally ripped his eyeballs out!” he says, almost shrieking from excitement. “So he can't tell who's looking at him wrong or right anymore! Isn't that great??”

Your mouth falls open in shock, only to close it and consider the next words that should come out. Due to the confidentiality clause, unfortunately, whatever a customer says is not liable to use as evidence. Even if it means allowing… crimes like these to continue.

“That's greeaaaat!“ you answer, your throat tight. “You feel better now, don't you, my dear Eris?”

“I do, I do! Hehe~”

Such a troubling life, he has. Even if there is a person you could talk to, you'd never admit that sometimes… sometimes listening to him makes you feel better about your uneventful life, only having to worry about keeping your job, keeping a roof over your head, and keeping your belly full.

Besides, what's there to worry about? Your identity is unknown and your persona is too friendly to get on anyone's nerves.

-----

[Some time later…]

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today? Or is there something on your mind today that you'd like to share with me, my dear?”

“LYchEeeeE! My LyCheeEee.”

Oh, his feelings got hurt again. What is it this time?” “YeeEeesss, my dear Eris? What's wrong? Tell your Lychee.”

You listen to him bawl his eyes, cooing and offer your sympathies, like a mother to a child.

“M-my best friend… he said…  he said…”

Oh, his best friend. Eris has never revealed his friend's name, but based on the description he gives you, sometimes you wonder why someone sweet and innocent— albeit a little violent— like Eris was friends with someone like that…

“Aww, no! Was he being a meanie again? What did he say?”

“He said… that I should get a life and stop talking to you.”

You feel your heart drop. “R-really? He said that?”

Ah… well. It isn't the first time a customer has left you, or rather left Lychee due to personal reasons.

Lychee is a cute person, someone who likes to hang out with their friends, who likes to party all day and all night, who likes to share the most scandalous gossip from their supposed life. Lychee is someone who wants everyone to like them and to help people get through difficult times…

But in the end, Lychee isn't a real person. Lychee couldn't leave their job to hang out with friends. Lychee couldn't attend parties and weddings. Lychee couldn't fall in love. Lychee was just a faceless voice who only spoke once you paid the price, and even then only for an hour or two out of the entire day.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about all of that. Who has time to party and hang out with friends and share other people's business when you have no safety net to fall back on if you were ever to go jobless? Forget about reputation, you were already used to people making assumptions based on your stoic appearance.

That being said, it wasn't like it didn't hurt when your customers got on with their lives. It was just… inevitable, and you had long since accepted that. Perhaps, this was a sign that it was time for Lychee's Eris to move on. He's spent over thousands of dollars just to speak to you over several hours per day over a span of four months already, single handedly paying your entire rent. As a fellow human who has to work their ass off in order to live, you can't bear to become the reason he goes broke.

“Yeah… but I don't want to! I love talking to you, my Lychee! And you love talking to me too, right? So I don't see why he’s telling me to have a life. I am living! Ugh, stupid…”

You mull over all kinds of lines but in the end, you whisper, “... Maybe, he's right.”

….. 

“What?”

“Listen, Eris-”

“Your Eris. I'm your dear Eris. Right? Right?”

His voice sounds sharp and metallic… you've ‘slipped’ up a few times, and he'd always softly correct you with his usual whiny voice. Not like this.

You cough, getting back into character. “Yesss, you’re absolutely right! My dear Eris. Sorry~ LiSteeEeen. As much as I love talking to you, I think that you're spending way too much money on me! I feel flattered and all, but I’m scared you're going to go bankrupt at some point!”

Silence on the phone… until you hear him cackle loudly like you had just told him the funniest joke ever. Moments later you hear him again. “Aha… ah… Is that what you were worried about, my Lychee? Aww, you're the best~ That's why I… But don't worRrrRry~ As the eldest son in my family, I inherited everything after my parents died. Enough to last me years to the point I don’t even need to work. Money isn't an issue at all, my Lychee.”

A bitter taste on your tongue. “Bas-” You clear your throat, the curse word almost slipped from under your persona. “Bestieee, even if money isn't the issue, your mental health must be taking a toll with all those troublemakers you have to deal with a lot. Other than your best friend and of course me, your Lychee, do you ever talk to anyone else?”

“... Why should I? I only need you, don't I? Also, I'm not your ‘bestieee’, I'm your Eris.”

“R-Right, my dear Eris~ I'm just saying. One day you'll want to… you know? Hug someone, hold hands, kiss, or even just… be next to someone. In person. We both know, I can’t do that for you. Don't you want a more… authentic relationship or friendship with someone? Besides your best friend. Besides me.”

A pause. “... Is this part of your character?”

You blink. “What do you mean, my dear Eris? What character?”

“... Huh… Come to think of it… I’ve never thought about it before, but Lychee’s not your real name, right?”

Your voice gets caught in your throat. “... Ehhh? But it is! I wouldn't lie to you, my dear Eris.”

Another pause. “… This line is confidential, right?”

“Mmhm! Always have been!”

“Then what’s your real name?”

Your free hand wraps around the cloth of your pants as you hold the phone against your ear. “I… My dear Eris, I told you. It’s Lychee. Your Lychee!”

You hear him sigh, before he suddenly hangs up. You look at your phone, very confused and worried. He has never hung up on you just like that before. Did he just… leave?

After several weeks of no calls from him, you figure he finally did leave. Fortunately, there are always new callers on the line along with some really loyal customers who've been patiently waiting for you to pay them some attention. While it bothers you, at the same time, it sort of relieves you. He must be finally living his life now, instead of spending it all on you.

…..

It’s a shame though… He was such a charming fellow, so open with his emotions and sweet with his words. It was… different from your other customers. Somehow.

Once you finish your 9-5 job for the day, you bid your coworkers goodbye, drag yourself out of the office to the bus stop, wait for the bus, get on the bus, wait until your stop, get off your stop, drag yourself home, enter your home, lock your door, and collapse on your couch, still in your work uniform. Same as usual. Why your company felt it was necessary to have a uniform when your job only requires your voice is beyond you.

You close your eyes and let yourself be whisked away to dreamland… 

.

.

.

.

.

Shick shick shick shick!

You wake up at 3AM, according to a glance at your clock, to the odd sound of… whisking? You slowly sit up, get off the couch, walk to the source of the noise, and find a handsome young man standing in the kitchen, whisking away at some white fluff in a bowl.

You rub your eyes and blink several times, wondering if you’re still asleep. What the heck am I looking at?

The man stops whisking and looks at you. He smiles bashfully. “My Lychee-”

WOW! Has it really happened? You’ve finally reached the point you’ve overworked your mind and body to exhaustion! And now you’re either hallucinating things at 3AM or you’re in the middle of a nightmare! There’s only one person in the world who calls you that and there is no way in hell Eris would be in your kitchen at 3AM, covered in flour, and smiling at you like this is all normal! WOW!

You slap your cheeks with both hands. Hard.

Eris gasps, dropping the bowl of whipped cream on the counter. He grabs onto your hands and inspects your face with a worried expression. “Lychee! Are you okay? Why did you slap yourself?”

His hands feel oddly very real and your cheeks oddly hurt really bad… but there's absolutely no way Eris is actually in my home, right? Wake up wake up wake up-

“Lych–No, I should say (Y/n), right? I would call you my (Y/n), but you're already mine, so–”

Oh, heck no.

You take your hands back and head out of the kitchen, take out your phone from your pocket, and quickly tap on the screen.

Briiing. Briiing. Tch!

“Local Police Department, how may we–”

Your phone is suddenly snatched from your hand. You throw your hand out towards it, only for Eris to take several steps back and hold your phone out of reach. He looks at the phone and immediately hangs it up and tosses it somewhere on the ground. Then he moves so quickly you don't have time to react until he's wrapped you in his arms. He places his head on your shoulder, his lips tickling your neck. “(Y/n)... Don’t do that. I missed you… so, so much… ”

You can only stand there, hands awkwardly hanging there at your sides, trying to absorb the bizarreness of this situation. “W-why are you here? H-how’d you get in?”

“Never mind that, your dear Eris is here now.”

You take deep breaths. “Eris…”

“That's me~ I'm your Eris~”

“Right… Uh, could you… let me go?”

“I don’t wannaaaa.”

Your eyes look all over the place, as if looking for a camera that’ll pop out and announce that this is all just some elaborate prank. Except there are none, and this is all very real.

You clear your throat, collecting yourself. “Okay… Fine… Listen. I… I think I get why you’re here. It’s because you like Lychee, right?” you try to reason. “Well, sorry, but bad news is, I'm not anything like Lychee. Lychee is just a character.”

“I know.”

You purse your lips, and then say, “Okay… so that means you don’t know me. Me. We’re strangers! You have no reason to be here! Get off me!”

He lets go of you but slides his hands down to your arms. You’re unable to pull away. What’s with this strength?

“Eh? That’s not true!” he says. You're (Y/n). You like (favorite animal), (favorite fruit), (favorite TV show), (favorite dish), (favorite pos–)”

You begin to sweat as you listen to him list of all of your favorite items, before moving on places you’ve ordered food from, to private details, such as your age, your highschool, your address, your family home address, even your Social Security number–Who the heck is this man and how did he find these things out?

“–and that’s all I have so far. What do you think, (Y/n)?”

“Get out.”

“Nooooooooo!”

He pulls you into a hug again, as if to emphasize the point that he’s not going anymore. You try to twist and turn your way out, but you find his grasp to be extremely difficult to get out of, despite how gentle he’s being with you.

“(Y/n)... You know…” he mumbles into your shoulder, making you still. “For the last few days, I finally realized what you meant the last time we talked. It’s true. One day, I will want to be with someone. In person. Hold hands with them. Hug them. Kiss them…”

He leans into your ear and whispers, “But I have also realized that I would only want that… with you. Only you. I love you, (Y/n).”

…..

“I’m… sorry,” you stutter. “I don’t…”

“Oh, that’s okay!” He releases you and steps back again, interlocking his fingers with yours this time. A blush appears across his cheeks as he bashfully looks up at you with his head tilted down shyly. “We can start over. Today can be our Day 1?”

His fingers have incredible strength, again you’re unable to escape their gentle grip. “What? Day 1 of what?”

“Oh? You don’t know?” he says, softly swinging your hands side to side. “Day 1. Dating.”

…..

“Who says we’re dating?” you screech, wanting so badly to rip your hands away from this deranged man.

“Eh?? What do you… Ohhh! I haven't asked you properly yet, huh? Sorry, love. Will you date me?”

“No! We've just met!”

“Oh.” You can see the cogs turning in his head, before he tilts his head and giggles. “But that’s exactly why we should date. People date to get to know each other more. Silly, (Y/n). But if you need further convincing: as you can see I’m handsome, and I have money! Lots of it! You’ll never have to work a day in your life. I’ll be the best boyfriend for you.”

Tempting as that sounds, the idea of placing your life into the hands of someone else just like that? Hah! No thanks. “No.”

The cogs are turning again before he reaches another answer in his head. “Ohhh, I get it! I'm so dumb! It took me so long to realize… You haven’t realized you love me too, right? That's okay. I can wait. Hehe~”

You stare at him incredulously, speechless. What the he-

Ding!

“Oh!” He drags you back into the kitchen before letting your hands go to don your oven mitts and take out a freshly baked cake to flip it over a rack. “Ta da~! Mmm, sorry. I was hoping to decorate it before you woke up but… well, who needs frosting anyway, right?”

You place a hand against your forehead “What… why?”

His eyes widen in surprise. “Eh? Did you forget? Oh, love. It’s your birthday today. Happy birthday, (Y/n)!”

-----🔔-----

[Many, many years ago…]

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday, dear (Y/n)~ Happy birthday to you~ Now, make a wish!”

You close your eyes, make your wish, and blow all the candles out in one go, ensuring your wish will come true as it always does every year.

You receive two presents to open. One from your Mom and one from your Dad. That’s how it always is on your birthday, or your Mom or Dad's birthdays. Just the three of you. No one else. Even now in your teens, your birthday party has only three members and there is nothing more that could make you happier.

After a fun-filled birthday, you went to sleep so peacefully that you didn't wake up the next day. Your parents decide to go grocery shopping without you, letting you rest in because it’s a Saturday.

It was a normal day. Just a normal day.

Sometime after you wake up, you hear heavy knocking at the door. Curious, you open it and find the police. They come bearing heavy news.

There was a drunk driver on the road.

Your parents didn’t make it.

Your wish didn't come true.

-----🔔-----

[Present…]

No matter how many candles you blew out, your wish didn’t come true. It didn’t the year after that. And the year after that. And the year after that. It would never, ever come true ever again, and at some point you just stopped celebrating your birthday altogether.

“(Y-Y/n)? Do you not like it? I’m s-sorry…”

Your vision turns blurry as memories flood into your mind. Your eyes fill with hot tears to the point it flows down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, your face twists in agony as you try to stop the dam from breaking in front of a stranger, but your knees give out instead.

Eris catches you and you both slowly sink to the ground. He holds your head gently against his shoulder, letting you cry out years worth of contained sorrows and to your heart's content as he pats you on the head, cooing at you and offering you words of comfort. He doesn’t understand, but at least you aren’t pushing him away.

Once you run out of tears to cry, you whisper with a broken voice, “Thank you… for the cake.”

“Anytime, my love, anytime.”

“... I'm not… your love.”

“Shh, shh… Take it easy… I'm here for you…”

“Idiot… Just leave me alone…”

“M’kay.”

…..

“I said leave me alone. Why are you still here?”

“Mm… because I don't think you want me to leave you alone right now?” he offers.

You sigh, giving up completely.

…..

Grumble…

“(Y/n), before I go, would you like to eat some cake?”

“... No thanks.”

“Oh… Okay. Well, I also got a present for you too.”

“Don't want it.”

“Can't return it, I'm afraid,” he sighs. “It cost so much too…”

“... Fine. I'll take your stupid gift and eat your stupid cake.”

“Yay~”

[puffein]

EPILOGUE | late spring [xii.]

summary: all you have left is hope as you board a trip back to new jersey. pairings: wanda maximoff x fem!reader warnings: none word count: 2411 a/n: its finally the eeeeend!! i hope you enjoyed this series! thank you!!!

series masterlist playlist!

Edinburgh, Scotland

Late-May 2027

The sharp chilling air of the early mornings of Edinburgh rouses your sleepy form from its slumbers. The bright sun waking its warm light to cascade through the open gaps of the windows made you forget the fading breezy air you felt a minute ago. Blinking through the sudden illuminating light of the sun, you felt the moving car come to a complete stop. 

Your eyes watch the forwarding move of each stranger, the crowds moving like waves crashing through their destination, their luggage trailing behind them with the sounds of its wheels gliding through the pavement. 

You let out a breath, pushing the door open and taking the heavy suitcase out of the car. You heard a door closing in hard and a set of rush footsteps gliding towards you. 

"Y/N, wait– this.." Kate's staggering timbre of voice made you whip your head towards her, an eyebrow raised at a box she was carrying. "This is for you." Pushing the box forward into your arms, you gave her a confused look. 

"What is this? I told you I do not need a parting gift, I'll be coming back here." you huff.

Her dark hair moves swiftly as her head shakes, "No, no, I know you're coming back. It's, um, remember like years ago you told me about the letters, just the story behind that, um, well, you see– I didn't throw her letters away, I have kept them." 

Your heart thumps, eyes flickering downwards– into the box your arms securely carried, "Kate, why.."

"I don't know, it's just, it felt weird to throw it away. If what you have said is the truth, that you are now okay and breathing then it wouldn't be so hard to read the letters she wrote years ago, right?" 

Your heart wobbles lightly, a smile taking its place right at your place, "Alright, thank you for keeping this."

Kate beams, her body giddy at taking in your gratitude, her hands moving awkwardly as she points at you, "Can I hug you or is that too weird, I mean I know we are busi–" 

You bark out a laugh, wrapping your hands in her wrist to pull her flush into your body, hugging her. "Be good here, Bishop."

"I will!" she chirps, leaning away to give you her wide smile. 

You step back, the box in your arms suddenly heavy, you give Kate one last smile, and as soon as your back faces Kate, your smile falls. You feel the weight of the letters, clutching the box tightly, and your steps wobble as you try to navigate your way through the airport. 

The distinct smell of the airport wraps you in quickly, with each stranger having its own destination, you have come into a thought of what stories each of them carries and then your story came in like a bucket of ice-cold water, splashing into you without a warning. 

You have healed. But the heavy weight of the letters doesn't settle right into your being. You are afraid opening such things would make you backtrack all the progress you have gotten, but then again, healing is not linear, it never will be.

So, when you successfully seated yourself in the window seat of the plane, you took one letter out of the box. Eyeing the familiar handwriting plastered through the piece of paper, your breath catches in sharply as your eyes scan the contents of a piece of paper that holds such delicate words. 

My dear Y/N,

      How are you? I don't know what letter this is, this might be my 10th, I don't know. I just kept on writing and writing, it's the only thing that has brought me comfort. I hope you are doing well, I kept on thinking and thinking if I have made a different choice, a different action, would this be just another alternate version of our life?

     I'm sorry, Y/N. For everything. I know the words I have said don't justify how wrong my actions were. It didn't dawn on me how my simple actions of ignoring you— the problems— my problem, would cause you such great pain. It didn't occur to me and I was being selfish and prideful. I was so blind, I was so scared of what I was feeling for you that I completely broke you. I didn't mean that, I was just scared and I wanted that feeling to vanish, so I did what I thought was the best plan. To be blind and avoid problems.

      Sorry, I'm sorry.

      I hope Edinburgh is treating you well. All I can do is hope, Y/N. I hope Edinburgh is fixing things for you that New Jersey never fixed. You don't need fixing, though, you have always been perfect and I never treasured that. 

      I love you, Y/N. I really do. I was just scared of many things, the thoughts were bad, and it did not help at all. I'm sorry. This doesn't make sense. Everything doesn't make sense. You are the only one grounding me, Y/N. 

      I hope when the time comes, you and I can talk. I will be hoping for that day.

Sincerely,

Wanda

You try to take in whatever words Wanda has written and along the lines of her painful words, your heart thumps lightly. This is a letter she wrote years ago and yet, it perfectly consummates the current emotions you are feeling. And without a single doubting thought, your heart blooms that one word she always wrote. 

You will be hoping.

༻༺

"I can't believe I have to get married for you to finally come home." Natasha greets you with a teasing voice, the ends of her tone are tender and warm as she pulls you in quickly for a tight embrace. 

You let out a surprised squeal at her tight grip, choking out a laugh, "Get off, please. I can't breathe."

"Oh shut up, you missed this." 

You smiled against her body, pulling her closer and taking in the familiar scent of her perfume. Natasha's grin widens when a familiar hand pulls her away gently. 

"Maria, finally nice to meet you." your hand reaches forward for the brunette to take. The woman with a posture so straight gave you a winning smile, pulling you in again into a tight hug.

"What is with you two and tight embraces, oh god, I feel like my lungs are crushed." 

Maria chuckles, "Okay, you are dramatic." 

Natasha swiftly moves beside you, hanging her arms around your shoulder, "So.. tell me about this Gray woman, does she make your life vibrant contrary to how monotone her name is?" 

You let out a nervous laugh, "Nat, I told you we are just friends. I don't think it's a great idea for me to date, I don't want someone to get stuck up with someone like me."

Natasha completely stops, her face is ready to fight the words you just have stated, "Like you? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I just don't think I'm ready for anything," you stated, mouthing a small thank you to Maria as she easily carries your suitcase into the car. "I wanna focus on myself, that's literally it."

Nat leans her body on the car, her arms crossing right at her chest, "And we love you for that. Apologies for my remarks." she declares, the corners of her mouth twitching in a wide grin, proud of what she's hearing from her precious best friend. "Now get in. My fiancée and I will take you for a wild ride."

Your smile widens at her silly words, playfully slapping her arms as you duck down to sit in the back seat. 

You watch them interact with each other, how Maria holds out her hand for Natasha to take, how your best friend can't seem to take her eyes off the brunette, how the brown-haired woman has a smile permanently plastered on her face. As you watch them carefully, something gnaws in the deeper ends of your chest, slowly clawing its way out to let you know that this feeling, the feeling of envy, the feeling of being wanted to be loved, is still present, alive, even after shoving in and crushing it to pieces.

It somehow mends itself and it's now clawing wildly out of your chest, making you look away and focus your sights on the moving scenery laid out of the clear window.

Westview is still the same as when you have left it, the tree-lined streets stand beautifully, the proud sun sets itself onto the blue sky, its rays peeking in between the leaves of the trees, making it look like a scene out of a postcard. 

When the moving scenery finally comes to a stop in a very familiar neighborhood, Natasha quickly hops out of the car to open the door for you, her head tilting as she gives you a cheeky grin, opening her arms as she points at a house.

"What do you think?"

You gape at her, "You brought a house?"

"Me and Maria thought it would be nice to have a house before the wedding and this, woman right here," pulling Maria closer to her, Natasha kisses her cheeks loudly, "She surprised me with a house!" 

Your eyes flicker at the brunette whose face is turning red, "That's great, Maria, wow. You are in deep."

"Oh, shut up. I'm saving you money here from checking in a hotel." Maria's stoned voice made you laugh loudly, shaking your head as you carried your suitcase with ease, letting out a silent huff at how heavy it is. 

Letting yourself breathe in the sight before you, the couple's house screams cozy and homey. You can picture them starting a family with this house, little Natasha running around, Maria's stoic face as she scolds their child, and family pictures scattered all over their house. Their future unfolds before your eyes, and you badly want to see what the future holds for you. 

Will it be just like them?

"Hey, Nat." your hand grips Natasha's wrist, "I wanna see something, is it okay if I meet you two at dinner?" 

"Sure, want me to drive you? Where are you even going?" Natasha quips, arranging your suitcase in the corner of the room she had pointed out. 

You shrug, "I just wanna walk around, it's been so long. I wanna see if something has changed." 

"Call me if you need a drive back home, yeah?" The redhead's smile was contagious, making you give her a grateful smile.

That's how you found yourself walking aimlessly on the sidewalks of the neighborhood, each house feels familiar yet different and strange. It's like watching something out of a picture you have hidden in a box that has a label of 'memories'. 

It doesn't feel real, how you are walking to the very place you have run away from. Nothing would have prepared you for what happened years ago, the final conversation you had with Wanda was eye-opening. It did help you get the closure you wanted but not the ending of what you had hoped. Despite that, you chose yourself, you chose what you needed instead of what you wanted. 

It is hard, to choose between a want and a need but you knew what weighed more. Even if it left you on a lonely journey of self-healing, it was the very first time you have chosen an option that does not revolve around her.

Life shouldn't revolve around her and yet you had caught yourself standing outside the coffeehouse, eyes gazing at the empty building, despite the day not being done, the lights were off, and dust forming inside the clear window pane.

Thank you for your patronage. This coffeehouse has permanently closed.

You blinked away the sudden bitterness pooling at the tip of your tongue, gulping the remaining dejection crawling out of your throat over a closed coffeehouse, you looked away.

Westview did change, if it's the same as what you have left, the coffeehouse would still be here, not an abandoned building sitting with its bleakness seeping out of its clear windows. 

The grimness you have felt for something that seems so insignificant to others made you feel petty, but maybe you were just holding on to something that needed to be let go of. 

Hearing the sudden whipping of the wind and the yapping of a fast little dog running right at your ankle, you look down and instantly crouch to take the dog. 

Brows furrowing, you tried to look for a collar.

"Sparky– I swear to god. I am so sorry—" a hoarse voice comes next.

Your head whips fast. 

"...Y/N," she says breathlessly, her soft tunes sounding like she's running out of breath, catching it.

Wanda. 

It shouldn't bother you.

If you had moved on, it really shouldn't.

But it did. The look on her face sits gorgeously, she gapes at you wild like a fish out of water, trying to make sense if you are real or just another delusion of hers. You blink, your heart is calm but your mind says otherwise.

"You–you're back?" 

You nod. "Yes, I– uhm, just today."

The nibbling of her bottom lip made you turn your gaze away, softly setting down the dog on the ground, the cute pup instantly ran towards the frozen woman. 

"They, they closed months ago." she suddenly declares, watching as your eyes linger on the building. A tense silence ensues, making you clench the quiver of your chest. 

"It was nice to see you, Y/N. I hope you will enjoy your stay here," she mutters, you turn at her, watching as she struggles to clasp the collar back on the puppy, her hands are visibly trembling. 

With one last final glance, she smiles at you, "Sorry again, he always likes to run away from me. Okay, I— I want to—" she struggles.

Then settle for a simple, "Goodbye, Y/N."

You let her walk away, her long chocolate brown hair sits beautifully at her shoulders, then it hits you. A memory replaying right in your eyes, watching her walk away, steps heavy on the pavement. This is so familiar. 

"Wanda!"

The turning of her head was fast, the hope pooling in her green eyes made you waver. 

"What time is it?" you asked. 

Her shoulders fall, looking down at her watch, "Eight-forty-nine," she replies. 

"Would you like a coffee at nine?" 

fin.

general masterlist ◄

—୧ taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta @sokovianbaby @vivs46 @kyaraderuwez

[darlingsfandom]

Part 2 of Stalker fanboy Cillian !

Part one !

It's been three weeks since you got the photos and nothing else. You thought it was over. You felt free. It was over.

"Are you sure you want to do the appearance ? I can get you out of it ?" Your assistant asked as you sprayed yourself with your perfume.

"It's been three weeks since I got anything! I'll be okay plus there's security!" You sighed before wrapped your arms around them. They kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back. You finished getting ready and did a double take of yourself in the mirror. "It's going to be okay!" You took a deep breath before walking out of your hotel room and made your way downstairs to the convention below.

"Oh my god oh my god!" A young man started tripping over himself as you waved at him. You walked with your assistant and security towards your table and once you were there you made yourself comfortable. Soon there was a line of people asking for your autograph, asking for advice and everything else you were used too.

"Next!" Your security yelled as the line moved forward which made you jump. You smiled up at the man who was shaking .

"Are you okay?" You asked grabbing his hand.

"Yeah I just can't believe I'm meeting you!" He was about to cry. You stood up, made your way around the table and wrapped your arms around him. He hugged you tightly. "It's okay, I'm just another person!" He pulled away with a smile and nodded as he wiped away his tear. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat back down as he walked away holding his cheek.

The line continued with all different types of people. Old, young, men and women. You got a few gifts like drawings, bracelets made with yarn and not like the gold one you got a month ago just before the Polaroids. "I have to use the bathroom!" You told your assistant. They made the announcement that you will be back soon and needed to take care of some personal business. You smiled and waved goodbye real quick.

As you made your way into the bathroom you noticed something that made you stop. The smell of the cologne from the letters, gifts and pictures. He was there. Of course he was there! You mentally slapped yourself before stepping into the bathroom and doing what you needed to do. As you walked back out the hallway seemed more empty than it was two minutes ago and the cologne smelled stronger. Your eyes darted back and forth but you couldn't find anyone or so you thought until you felt a leathered hand placed over your mouth and something hard against your leg.

"Shh shh! Like I said... I'd never hurt you... I love you." His voice was thick and heavy against your ear as you squeezed your eyes shut. He removed his hand from your mouth and before you could even turn on your heel to face him, he was gone. You stood there dry mouthed and blinking rapidly. Your heart was beating a thousand miles a minute as you made your way back to the table.

"Are you okay?" Your assistant asked you as you sat down.

"He's here!" You smiled brightly as the next fan approached you. It was a little girl with her mom and she handed you a picture she drew of you.

"This is so good! Thank you!" You gave her a small hug as she giggled.

"Mommy I got to hug the princess!" She hid in her moms comfort as her mom thanked you for being so kind. You kept up the smile and that everything was okay but you couldn't get it out of your mind that he was watching you, that he was walking amongst all the other people who were meeting all the other celebrities in the room. Why couldn't he have picked on of them ??

"Alright folks! We're wrapping up." Your assistant yelled to the line of people. You sighed softly before you finished up the last few autographs. After you finished you made your way to your hotel room and threw yourself on the mattress. There was a rapid knock on the door and you rushed over only to see no one standing there but there were flowers and a note.

"You looked so pretty today. Touching you was the best part of my day , but the night is young." You quickly shut the door and threw the note in the trash before trying to calm yourself down. You held your head in your hands for about five seconds because just as you went to lift your head you felt the same anxiety wash over you as it did earlier.

"My pretty girl!" He put his hand over your mouth and shook his head as you looked at him in the mirror. "Shh shh! No screaming now. Wouldn't want to do anything stupid !" He kissed the side of your neck gently before he finally spun you around to see him.

"Cillian?" You gasped once he removed his hand. "Why?? I don't understand ?" Your eyebrows furrowed together as you sat down on the edge of the bed.

"It's very simple darlin, you are mine!" He was face to face with you while his hands rested on your thighs. "You belong to me!" He kissed you hard and as much as you tried to push him off you were too weak to do so. "You need me!" He mumbled against your lips. "I can give you everything... you seen the gifts, the flowers , the photos... you've seen what I can provide! Not to mention I can give you all the orgasms that your stupid little boyfriends never could!" He was feverishly kissing you all over while you sat there.

"I... but me? Why? I'm young!" You tried to plead with him as he gripped your arms.

"That's part of it! So young, so fresh, so beautiful!" He stroked your hair slowly and looked into your eyes. "And mine, all mine."

[thelov3lybookworm]

You Desrve Better (part two)

Part one

Althea built her courage up as she neared Rhys's office. She knew he'd be sad and furious, knew he'd try to stop her from leaving. He was stubborn like that. But if he was stubborn, so was she. She would leave, even if it meant she'd have to leave without his consent.

These past weeks had been a shit show to say the least. Trying to avoid Azriel everywhere she went was hard, and it was taking a toll on her. She had almost locked herself in her room for the whole day countless times now due to the embarrassment of her misunderstanding. But she knew that if she did that, someone would come to get her, and she didn't have the energy to explain things to the busybodies that were the inner circle.

She was so lost in her thinking about what she would say to Rhys to convince him to let her go, she didn't realise she was standing right outside the door to his office. The noise of a glass hitting the floor and breaking pulled Althea from her thoughts about what he would think about her decision, and she finally lifted her hand to knock on the door to Rhysand's office. Everything went silent.

She waited for sometime before knocking again. "Rhysie open up. I know you're in there. If you don't, I'll let myself in, and you'll like that a lot less–"

The door swung open silently before she could finish. She walked in and surveyed the mess created on the floor by the glass that had broken. Sighing, she looked up at Rhysand, taking in his halfway unbuttoned shirt, tousled hair and wildly beating pulse. He was standing in front of his desk, looking like a boy who was caught doing something that his mother had specifically told him not to do.

"Tell whoever you are hiding in here to wait outside, I need to tell you something."

"What could be so important that it couldn't have waited until the morning?" He looked extremely pissed now. "What could be so important that–"

"If you would shut up and let me speak, maybe you'd know. Send them out."

"Tell me now. She isn't going out."

"Rhysand, its either she goes out or I do. And you will definitely not like me leaving this place without telling you."

His brows furrowed before he cleared his throat. "Please wait outside, darling. I'll call you back in.

"The closet behind him opened and out came a beautiful female, with blonde hair and blue eyes. She gave Althea a disgusted look before walking out and closing the door behind her. Althea followed her every move before turning back to Rhysand.

"This better be something good." Rhys said.

"Trust me it is." She folded her arms, taking a deep breath. She put a spell for masking anything they say to prying ears before continuing. "I'm leaving. I would like to travel the continent, then maybe go to Vallahan. I–"

"What? Why?"

"Let me finish speaking Rhys." She jabbed her finger at him. "I won't be coming back unless I wish to. I will be writing letters to you, if you want, that is. Also, I don't want you to send people after me because I can take care of myself. Get it?"

"But why Thea? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing’s wrong Rhys. I just wish to explore the world out of Velaris and Night Court. Is that so bad? Wanting to see the lives that probably are completely different from ours?"

"That is not the only reason, is it?"

She sighed. He knew her too well to accept her dumb excuse. "Rhys. I'm tired. Tired of trying to hide from Azriel and what I felt for him. I need time to process everything that's been going on. Please. I promise I will come back. Someday." She wanted to kick herself for saying the last part, knowing that he had heard it. Any chance she would have had of leaving was now gone.

"Someday? No Thea. I'm not letting you leave. Stay with us. I'm sure we'll figure something out. You just– just wait. You'll forget it. You'll forget him. I'm–"

"Please Rhysie–"

"No. I'm not letting you put your life in jeopardy just because a guy rejected you. We'll get through it together, I swear."

It was inevitable, she knew. Him trying to stop her. And because she didn't want to argue, because they'd be here all night then, and she still had some packing to do, she nodded. He raised his eyebrows and she sighed before nodding again. He held out his arms, and she stepped into them, resting her head on his shoulder. She stayed there a moment longer before stepping back. She gave him a reassuring smile, then turned to leave. Just before she exited the office, she turned back to Rhys.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do sister. I love you too." She nodded before returning to her room.

•○🌑○•

Rhys's pov

She lied.

Althea had lied to him.

And he cursed himself for not realising it before. Maybe it was the previous day's tiring events. Maybe it was his lust addled brain and the beautiful female waiting for him. Either way, it didn't excuse him not paying attention to his sister.

He'd been woken up by Nuala, asking him why Althea was standing in the garden with a bag. It took him a moment to understand, but when he did, he jumped out of bed and started pulling on his pants, not caring that Nuala was still in the room. He winnowed right to the front steps of the house, and saw Althea at the gates.

"No." It came out as a broken whisper, his throat closing up as Althea stepped out of the protective bubble surrounding the Town House. He wasn't sure anyone could have heard him, but she did. She turned to him as he tried to make his way to her, stumbling over his own feet.

She had tears streaming down her face. She shook her head, giving him a shaky smile, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'. Before...

She vanished.

•○🌑○•

She still heard his voice.

The tiny, broken no that made her turn and look at him.

She still remembered the look his face.

The look on Rhys's face as he fell to his knees, opening his mouth to say something to her, before the darkness had consumed her. The hurt. The horror. The realization that she really was leaving. The silver lining his eyes.

It had been ten years, and the memories still haunted her dreams.

She felt guilty and sad for hurting her family, but not regret. Never regret. If she hadn't left that day, she never would have become the person she was today, and she was quite proud of herself.

Althea rubbed her eyes as she got up from her desk, forcing herself to stop thinking of that morning. Finally getting up from her work and wondering what she'd make for dinner after having skipped lunch in favor of reading all the reports sent to her by Rhysand regarding the Illyrian camps, she made her way into the kitchen.

As she prepared a sandwich, the sound of something light dropping on the counter behing her made her turn. A rolled up piece of paper lay there. Rhys had either sent her a new report or a mission. That's how they had been communicating for the past decade. If they wanted to tell each other something, they'd write it down and send it.

For the past year, Althea had settled down in one of the cold mountains of night court, the type where there usually would be Illyrian camps. But this one was secluded enough that there were no camp near her that it they could become a nuisance, but near enough that if she was in danger, she could winnow there easily.

She cleaned her hands before picking the paper up. A new mission. The Skyward Camp, the camp nearest to Velaris, hadn't been sending in the monthly evaluations to the High Lord for the past couple of months. Rhys had tried contacting them by writing to them. Sending people there. But they never came back with any useful information always saying the Lord of the camp sent them away. He wanted her to go there to try and see what was going on, and if they still didn't get any answers, he'd go there himself.

Althea decided she'd leave for Skyward after she finished dinner. She wrote back to Rhys before devouring her sandwiches, packing a bag with the things she'd need and winnowed away.

•○🌑○•

lthea studied the Skyward camp from the forest near it. It was silent. Not in the eerie kind of way, but a peaceful kind of way.

A twig snapped behind her, and immediately her dagger was in her hand as she whipped around. An Illyrian male stepped from the shadows, his wings tucked behind his back.

"Who are you?" The male asked.

"Why should i answer you? Who are you?" Althea retorted.

"Because I asked you a question. And I am the one who looks after the camp when the Lord isn't here."

"Oh. Wait. Are you saying the lord of the camp isnt here?"

"Oh no my dear. I'm not saying that. In fact, he's on his way here. I'm saying that he'll be extremely pissed when he gets here. And so if you don't want to be subjected to his wrath, you should tell me who you are. So, let's do this again. Who are you?"

Before she could say anything, a voice spoke from behind her.

"Tch tch, Kieran. Is that how we speak to our ladies?"

She turned halfway, not wanting to keep her back to the other male, and saw the most beautiful male she ever laid her eyes on.

Dark hair and amber eyes. He gave her a half smile which showed the dimple in his left cheek.

"Hello, sweetheart."

•○🌑○•

(Can you guess who these guys are? Can you tell who this guy with the dimples is?)

Hint: he is from another book series not of sjm

Taglist: @bubybubsters

[nescaveckwriter]

Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 16

Dean x Fem/Reader

Part 16🥰🐞

A/N: This is heartbreaking, and beautiful, fluffy, fluffy and more fluff😋

Side Note: Thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞

Warnings: anger, raised voices, sexual content 🙈

......

Opening your eyes, tilting your head upwards, lifting a little of his chest, admiring the brown, beard fading into a slight whitish gray, he looks so peaceful, he might be a giant, but his a gentle giant.

Snuggling closer to him, the cinnamon, woody with just a touch of orange blossom scent coming from him awakens her senses. Tracing little circular movements on his chest, thoughts wandering off too last night, a smile tugging at her lips, remembering ever little detail, the way he cherished her, made her feel loved, and wanted, desirable even, sent an electric sensation through her body.

Somehow this man with his sky blue, heart melting eyes, took a hold of your heart, there was a softness in his masculinity, a protective warmth in his strong arms and a soul that whispers, I know you don't need me, but I'll always be here.

His voice sounded husky, when he said morning darling, hearing him call her that, in his tone of voice, with that deep southern accent of his, was enough to send her over the edge.

Morning, her voice sounded almost musical. Their eyes met again, and so did their lips, she knew in that very moment, if she didn't start making her way home today, she'll probably never leave his warmth.

....

Studying the room one last time, remembering the pain, healing, laughter and then finally the love and intimacy these walls came to recognize, she took out her sketch pad, not the one Benny gave her, but a new one she bought, for capturing the moments the two of them shared, the first page was a pencil sketch of the three of them sitting at the dinner table, laughing about the cat who stole the drumstick, the last two pages was filled with rough sketches about the cherry blossom tree and then the two of them all tangled up underneath the covers.

Putting it on the bed, with a note attached "saying thank you Benny for looking after me and helping me to get better and trust again, in here you'll find all the memories we made, I will cherish you in my heart forever. Much love , your ladybug darling " signing the letter with a little heart, and a lipstick stain from her pouting lips.

...

Looking at the woman with her lively eyes and short brownish hair, she could see tears shimmering, trying to keep your own voice steady, I'm going to miss you Judy, thank you for everything, I literally would not have been here if it weren't for you.

Oh honey, take care of yourself she said while pulling you into a hug, I'll always be here if you need me okay! Now I have to go before I cuff you the house so that you never leave, a little laugh escaping her lips.

Walking closer to where Benny were standing you could see his forehead furrowed and he's brows drew together, his bright blue eyes became a greyish colour, revealing the sadness, your lips parched to say something, he leaned in, tasting your lips, one last time, still holding you close, a sad smile forming on his face,

I'll be back Benny, your voice sounded breathy, his raspy, voice washed over you saying no you won't darling now go and be free but remember you'll never be unloved by me, you are too well tangled in my soul and therefore I will always be there whenever you need me.

Her eyes swam with tears, she sighed while digging her head in his chest, I love you Benny.

"I love you too Darling he said while kissing the crown of her head.

With wide eyes she said I should stay.

No! Go be brave, be free darling. I'll be here, he purred.

Getting into your car sending one last glance over your shoulder before driving through the rusty gates. You wondered if you'll ever see him again.

You just drove, you were so tempted to turn back, your heart was torn, on the one side there's Dean who you'll always love and then the other side Benny, who captured your heart. Damnit I'm confused, whispering to yourself. Making a promise to no-one really, that you were just going to focus on making amends its the final step, and for the rest, you'll figure it out as you go.

..

She drove into her old hometown first stop Bobby she inhaled, this is going to be hard isn't it!

She knocked on the door, hearing the old man's rough voice coming through the door, - what the hell, get off my property, I will shoot, door screeched open.

Noticing the shotgun and him standing upright, made her laugh.

He sounded overjoyed, babygirl, tears shown in his deep blue eyes. He grabbed ahold of her, so happy to see you, you look better than ever.

Laughter overtook her, so glad to see you too Bobby.

Inviting her in, they talked, she apologized, he did the same, telling eachother everything.

She got up promising she'll come by and drink coffee, but she had a few people she needed to see.

Before heading out the door Bobby stopped you, his voice sounded heavy, babygirl, just a heads up, Dean took your leaving hard, he can tell you everything himself, but his better now, he went back to his old ways though, different woman every week.

One of his one night stands from back in the day showed up in town, and they started to see eachother again. not sure how that's going, but I just wanted to let you know.

Oh! Thanks Bobby, her words sounded more brittle than she intended. She gave Bobby one last hug, walking towards her car, thinking about how much she hurt him, her glossy eyes revealed the throbbing pain in her chest.

Inhaling some air into her lungs she drove towards the house she grew up in.

Recalling one of the quotes Benny used to say from JK Rowling "Anything's possible if you got enough nerve" , her mouth curving into a smile. That man and his quotes.

She pulled into the driveway shaking just a bit. She just stood there making sure she looked good, knocking on the door.

Seeing her mom open the door, the emotion welling up in her eyes, Hi mom, her lower lip trembling.

Honey your home, Caroline sobbed. Pulling her daughter into a heartfelt hug.

I'm so sorry about everything mom, I..I.. was just so broken, I'm so sorry for causing all this pain.

Looking into her daughter's eyes, seeing the light in them again, is the only apology she ever needed.

The two of them spend the rest of the day, catching up, crying, holding eachother.

...

When Bill came home, he acknowledged the joy gleaming from his wife, sweetie?

"Sweetheart look in the living room, she insisted.

He just stood there, hearing his daughter's sweet voice, hello daddy. His eyes glistening, babygirl he exclaimed!

She ran towards him, Hugging him, apologising and telling him everything.

Glancing at your parents, realising you had no idea how much you missed them, that night after dinner you lend your mom's phone to video call your brother.

The shocked look on Joe's face revealing he expected his mother, not you. Sis! He expressed. They talked till the early morning hours, mocking him a bit, about the grey in his now longer beard. They laughed and cried. After making plans to go and visit him in Chicago the two of you said your goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Exhaustion over took you and you drifted off.

...

When you went to make amends with Cas, he didn't judge you, he just listened to you, expressing his gratitude towards the two people who took care off you. You also learned that day , that Dean were out of town, on some case his working on, And Sam and Eileen went on a three month cruise so you could not get in contact with them.

...

You spent the next two months working on your new novel, creating new paintings and joining a yoga class, you and the yoga instructor, just clicked, she was an amazing soft kind hearted woman with her luscious dark hair and friendly eyes. You and Lisa became good friends very quickly.

....

Breathe in, through your nose and out through your mouth, that's it, she soothed to the class. Thank you all for being here, Namaste.

While rolling up your yoga mat, you see Lisa coming closer, hey there, her voice sung.

Aren't you chipper. You betcha ya, she giggled. Why would that be Lis? My boyfriend is coming back tonight or tomorrow.

Aww really, I would love to meet this mysterious man! You exclaimed.

Lisa laughed, oh you will, but first we are spending our weekend under the covers. I've missed him so much.

You let out a giggle, you should enjoy it, we'll meet up, after your weekend of pleasure.

...

Pulling your car in the garage, walking into your house, grabbing a previously prepped green juice out of the fridge, falling to the couch.

Jikes! Feeling a little woozy after the morning yoga, and staying up till 3 , writing, thinking maybe you'll take a short nap, you snuggled into the couch a bit deeper.

Your eyes flung open when you heard the familiar sound of the impala's engine purring down the street. He's back!

....

Seeing his phone receiving a message from Lisa while driving past her house made him winch. Of course it doesn't make him exactly a good man, being with Lisa and thinking about her, but hell that's the situation his in.

After getting home and taking a shower, throwing on some joggers, headed straight for the bedroom, to sleep, falling flat on his stomach, arms stretched out wide over the mattress letting out a sigh, finally some sleep.

The knocking of the door, made him flinch uttering, what the hell, go away, the knocking silenced, but then started back up again.

I swear, I'll shoot you, he growled, the wooden floor creaking underneath his bare feet. Turning the door knob, what! he commanded!

His brows knitted, his jaw line tightened, his face seemed cold and hard but his heart was rapidly beating. She stood there, in a white sundress, her hair much longer than before, her complexion as beautiful as ever, there was a sense of lightness radiating from her.

Her voice sounded like a symphony, Hello Dean.

Hello Dean, hello Dean that's what you have to say, his words sounded tight.

I.. I didn't come to fight, I came to make amends, to say I'm sorry, about everything.

He gritted his teeth, yeah if only it was so damn easy!

Her voice sounded soft, and low, listen Dean, I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you, for anything and I'm truly sorry for what I said, and how I just left, I truly hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Noticing her shaking, her eyes glancing over with the wetness of the tears she's trying to fight back, all he wanted to do is pull her close, make her feel his love, but for some reason his words was brutal, how the hell do you expect me to just forgive and forget.

I hate you, I hate what you did, I hate what you said, I hate the way you just left, like I didn't matter to you.

Her jaw dropped, her eyes wide, brittleness in her voice, this was a mistake, she turned around, fleeing to her car.

You, us, were a mistake, he growled. Taking in the sight of her leaving again, made him realise, he didn't hate her, he loved her.

Sprinting, cathing up with her, grabbing ahold of her body, hands on her hips, throwing her over his shoulder, he hissed, want to talk, sweetheart, lets talk...

Put me down Dean she demanded. Closing the door with the back of his leg, placing her down, her back now against the door, he stood there in front of her, his voice thick, I'm sorry for what I just said , searching her eyes, she didn't make a sound, running his hand down her arms, the friction it caused made his heart rate go faster, grabbing ahold of her hands, pinning it above her head, she whimpered, he crashed his lips against her tasting the sweetness he remembered, breathy he told her you have any idea how much I craved you, her lips parted like she wanted to say something, but he didn't want words, he want their bodies to speak for them, and their hearts to listen, the two of them was starved for each other, his hands lingered over her body, removing the sundress, she's digging her nails into his back, pulling him closer, wanting him more and more. Ravishing eachother, exploring one another, he remembered all her little weak spots, making the sweetest moans escapes her lips. He groaned knowing she wanted him as much as he did. Panting and out of breath they lay in eachother's other arms, knowing their home again...

[mrsalwayswrite]

What Words Can't Say - Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome to my new series! When I watched MOTA I had no intentions to become obsessed but here we are.

Summary: When Abby joined the war effort, her only purpose was to support her cousin and fix up the B-17 Fortresses so they could continue their missions. She had no intentions of getting close to the men who piloted them. Yet when the 100th Bomb Group flew into Thorpe Abbotts, specifically a handsome blond Major, her carefully built walls began to crumble, one brick at a time.

Warnings: Brief mentions of blood and violence

Words: 1455

Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

May, 1943

The sound reminded her of a thunderstorm as she stood on the tarmac, watching one by one as the Boeing B-17 Flying Fortresses took off into the blue sky. There was beauty in the forts as they took off, these massive machines rising into the clouds and defying gravity as they dotted the sky above. A similar beauty as found in thunderstorms, in her opinion. There was a timeless awe in witnessing lightning racing across the sky. 

Yet she had lived through too many storms, the initial spark of wonder drowned out by knowing what those storms brought, the destruction that followed in their wake. 

As her hazel eyes followed the path of the forts, heading to their new target, she could not help but wonder how many men and planes would return. 

An arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close. She willingly followed the action, leaning her head against the man's shoulder, even as they both kept their eyes on the sky. 

“It'll be better this time. I've got a feeling.”

She could not help the sad smile that her cousin's comment drew forth. “You're too much of an optimist for being in a war.”

“Yeah? Well, your pessimism is annoying.” He flicked her ear with a chuckle. 

“Ouch!”

He quickly stepped away before she could retaliate. “Alright, let's get some chow and rest!” He called out to the ground crew standing nearby. “We've got six hours until the forts are expected to return.”

She glanced up at the sky one more time as the last of the bombers disappeared in the distance. She hoped her cousin's feeling was right. Maybe they would get lucky this time. 

“Come on, Abby,” her cousin called to her from a few paces away. 

After a brief sigh, she turned on her heel and quickly caught up to where he stood waiting for her. “I'll do the task list, you go lay down. I know you barely slept last night.”

“It's alright, I can–”

She not-so-gently shoved him. “Go, I've got this. I'll sleep after.”

Ken Lemmons squinted at his older cousin before conceding defeat. “Fine. Have Dog-Face help you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” She dismissively waved a hand. “Go on before I write your mother a letter about how you aren't taking care of yourself.”

“You wouldn't!”

“How quickly do you think she'd get on the next ship to England?”

Ken groaned. “I'm going! Christ. I thought we were a team!”

“We are.” She smiled innocently. “Teammates look out for each other.”

“Threatening to write my mother is not something a teammate would do.”

“Only for your own good.” She reached up to rub her hand over his curls, only to pull her hand back with a grimace. “Ugh, when was the last time you showered? Your hair is disgusting.”

Laughing, he pushed his head towards her face, made easier since she was shorter than him. “Smell me!” 

“You're gross!” She shoved him away, laughter bubbling up inside her. “Shower first, then sleep.”

He gave her a quick two finger salute before jogging to catch up to the other male ground crew, all hoping to get a couple hours of shut eye before dealing with the chaos that would arrive when the forts returned. 

Walking over to the over-glorified shed where they stored their tools and extra parts for the B-17s, she mentally started going down the checklist, making sure everything was back in its place and no idiots - dammit Simon - lost another wrench. The actions were second nature by this point, and why Ken (who was the ground crew chief and lead mechanic) trusted her to do it. 

Once completed, she headed towards the Red Cross nurses’ hut to catch up on her own sleep. Since she was the only female mechanic at Thorpe Abbotts, they had billited her with the nurses. Most of the nurses were friendly enough with her, although it took time for some of them to mentally adjust to her being in a ‘men's’ role and not a nurse, secretary or radio operator like the other women on the base. Overall, it was not a terrible arrangement, but with the amount of women coming and going from the hut due to their various shifts, it was hard to get a deep, restful sleep. 

Before stepping into the hut, she glanced up at the sky one more time and sent a silent prayer to a God that vanished with the onset of the War, praying that more men and forts would return this time. 

Please, let this mission not end in disaster…

*****

Fire, screams and sirens filled the air as what was left of the bombers returned to the airfield. 

Her eyes scanned over the few planes that returned, assessing the level of damage and repairs needed. Not enough. Not enough forts and men returned. Again. Even though she had been doing this for months now, it never got easier. Seeing the destruction of the forts, the decimation of the men and the knowledge of who and what were lost…it sapped strength from the soul. 

But she had a job to do, and she would not stop until they told her too. 

“Is it always like that?” 

Abby heard the question asked to the left of where she stood. The quiet question was at odds with the chaos around them, a juxtaposition in which she could not help but take notice, even as she continued surveying the damaged planes. She always waited until the injured were removed from the tarmac and the rest of the men were driven off to interrogation before getting close. She had learned the hard way that with her smaller stature, it was easy to get trampled. 

“You wondering what to tell your guys? My advice - don't. They'll find out once they're up there.” The veteran pilot walked away, hoisting his pack further up on his shoulder. 

The new major stared up at the plane he suffered hell through with a mix of horror and resignation. His fellow pilot's words were obviously being replayed over and over along with the horrors he witnessed in his mind. So caught up in his own memories, she doubted he even noticed her move closer. 

Abby heard about the new major and his 100th Bomb Group that were to arrive in the next two weeks. Most of the information she gleaned from the man before her was from the nurses she bunked with. Apparently, Major John Egan had quite the reputation. The nurses gossiped about his handsome features- those dark eyes, the mustache that tickled when he kissed them, and that cheeky smirk that broke hearts as easily as a bullet shattering glass. Abby witnessed firsthand how the man seemed like the sun and everyone around was unable to help the gravity pulling them towards him. He was charismatic, funny and kind, and did not mind making a fool of himself. The ladies loved flirting with him, offering dance after dance in the Officer's Club. While those that snuck away into dark corners with him gossiped about how attentive and talented he was, with more than just his mouth. 

Yet at this moment, none of those characteristics were apparent. Instead he looked like a lost, little boy that had been dared to jump off the bridge and did it; but now at the bottom, he realized the danger he survived and wondered if his friends would too. 

“Major?” She hesitantly said, trying not to startle him. 

Her voice seemed to jolt him from wherever his mind had traveled too. Those dark eyes -haunted now by what he saw- darted to her and he almost seemed to breathe a sigh of relief from being released from those memories. 

“Sir, you've got blood on your hands. You should wash it off and then get to interrogation. The Brass here are particular about that.”

“Uh…thanks.” He tried to smile but it was a faint thing. He glanced up at the forts once more then turned on his heel, heading to a nearby jeep waiting for him. 

She watched him walk away and wondered if he would tell his Bomb Group the truth or like what was suggested, let them experience it for themselves. She could never truly know what those pilots experienced, but for how often she had to patch up their forts and witnessed the dead and wounded men removed from the planes beforehand…she could take a guess. 

And there was nothing that could prepare a soldier for that level of hell. 

Straightening the red handkerchief that covered her brunette hair, she sighed before jumping into the fray. Hopefully, they had a couple days to work on the forts before another mission happened.

Hopefully. 

Tag List: @beebeechaos

[typingatlightspeed]

TF2 Fanfic - Dear Mama

The letters Heavy's written to his Mama since the start of 1970, giving her and his sisters some life updates, and responding to theirs. He's come to an important decision.

Ao3 Link! Part of Monstrous Intent!

I've been wanting to do something with Heavy and his family for a little bit, and just kind of his side of everything that's been happening. Because he's generally such a quiet guy sometimes he tends to react to things rather than drive them, and most of the time when I have him drive action it's sex, lol. Wanted to showcase some more of his internality and the poetic way he wields his native language. Giving his family life updates while artfully dancing around the fact that like 60% of his free time is sucking and fucking, lmao. Also: spot the Simpsons joke!

---------

Dear Mama,

I hope you've been well. I'm sorry I haven't gotten a letter to you in a while; it's hard to get mail down off of the frozen mountain where I'd been stationed since the start of the year. You know how it is. Thankfully, we've been reassigned back to the desert, so I'll have easier access to the postal system. So my letters should once again be more frequent.

I've been well, all things considered. The team didn't take as well to ice-rimed mountains as I did, so while it'll take some time for me to adjust to the temperature change, the team's been overjoyed. Especially Scout. He's a very thin man, so his tolerance for cold only goes so far. He's from cooler climates, but even so, the mountains had him nearly rattling apart from shivering! Ludwig, however, was unflappably enthusiastic, as always.

Speaking of Ludwig; his magical training has been progressing swimmingly, and he's developed into quite the nascent mage. It's truly impressive what he can do when he sets his focus on it. His determination is beyond dogged, and his passion boundless. I can't argue with his results!

Which brings me to interesting news: Ludwig has mastered an old spell from seiðr traditions that allows him to harness the jotun blood that runs through my veins, and give me the form of a full jotun, like Papa. When the excitement of discovery and novelty calmed down, however, I found myself struck by how strong my resemblance to Papa was. And though I haven't voiced it to him, it's made me realize how far divorced I am from that side of my ancestry, save for how it's shaped my appearance. I know Papa had a bit of ice and storm magic at his disposal, but also that he didn't use it much. He was far more invested in the movements of the world and the politics of men, I know. So that's something I might try to do some reading on in the near future. If you have any knowledge, Mama, I would love you to share it. I know Papa tried to keep us sheltered from the world of monsters, but like it or not, that world has come to me, and I feel it irresponsible not to explore that side of my own nature.

On a similar, but less somber note, Ludwig gave me a ring last week.

Don't get too excited, Mama. It ended up not being what I'm sure you hoped. I admit, I hoped the same, but I think my dear doctor isn't the type to think of such gestures of his own accord. He's a man of passion, not tradition. It'd be almost frustrating if his obliviousness weren't deeply endearing.

The ring is a magic item, a way to activate that seiðr spell on command should I choose, and he enchanted it himself. It's the culmination of quite a bit of work, and honestly I feel like that in itself is as much a statement of intent as a ring of more traditional meaning. It in itself is a promise.

It's no secret that our lifespans will differ, now. Ludwig, as a garuda, can live forever if he's careful. Scout, as a faun, can do the same. Their lifespans are functionally infinite. Ageless, timeless, and beautiful for eternity. Meanwhile, though I know my life will be longer than a human's, it does have a limit. I think that knowledge has been weighing on Ludwig a bit, and making him dig into my supernatural side as a result. Whether that will yield fruit, who knows? But it warms my heart to know that he desires to be by my side for all of eternity. Whether he realizes it or not (and knowing him so well, I deeply suspect not), that ring was a proposal, phrased in different terms.

I'm sorry, Mama. I'm sure I'm boring you with such fanciful thoughts when I should be keeping you updated on my life. But I suppose my life might have taken a turn for the fanciful.

Ludwig sends his love, and his thanks for a lovely Smissmas together. Scout hopes to meet you all someday sooner than later, but isn't sure when he'll be able to join me for a trip. He has a large, very tightly-knit family, so holiday travel is unlikely to deviate away from his mother's house. I hope to meet her someday. He speaks highly of her, and she sounds like a lovely woman. Certainly, she raised a wonderful son. Something the two of you have in common!

Give my best to Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava, and let them know I can easily receive mail again. It's been a strange kind of lonely so far this year, unable to write with you all, and I'm eager to read what my dear baby sisters have to say.

All of my love, Misha

*

Dear Mama,

Thank you for your last letter. I hadn't realized just how much variation there was in jotunkind. I'd thought all of us merely hrímþurs, the frost giants, so it is honestly eye-opening to learn of the others descended from the jötunn. I'll have to do more reading on the subject, sometime. I'm sure Ludwig would appreciate learning more as well. Perhaps that wizard he bought his first magic book from might have something.

That said, I hope this letter finds you well. Work's been stable, with a few minor transfers across the region but staying largely in the desert. We've mostly been stationed at one base and then taken transports to satellite bases as the need arises. It's been less hectic than packing up and moving bases entirely constantly, but I won't deny that the times we don't use teleporters between our home base and the satellite bases make for terribly boring mornings. The team's taken to singing on those trains and busses, seeing how long it takes the driver to yell at us.

The train conductor is surprisingly resilient.

We've been helping Scout learn to control his small bit of magic lately, which has been an interesting effort. It's definitely been building teamwork between us, however, and been very good for our cohesion overall. And Scout's been quite happy for the extra attention.

Ludwig's been working on healing magics, and trying to replicate the effects of his specialized medical equipment using magic. To what end I'm not entirely sure, but it stands to reason it'll be helpful should an emergency arise when he doesn't have his equipment ready to hand. He's very clever about never letting himself be completely caught without a way to improvise a Plan B for situations.

That's all I'll say about Ludwig this time. I promise. After Zhanna's scathing letter and Yana and Bronislava mocking me endlessly, I'll spare you all the gooey romantic musings of a smitten old man.

Aside from work, life's been quiet for me. I read that romance novel that Yana sent with her letter, and enjoyed it far more than I expected! I'll be sending it back along with a novel that had a similar description on the back cover, which I found in town recently. I haven't had the time to read it, though, so please, Yana, don't hate me if it isn't very good.

Lastly, I hope you enjoy the small box of shortbread cookies I'm also sending with this! They were baked by our team's Demoman, who sends his best. He takes care of his elderly mother, and when he heard I was sitting down to write my mama a letter, offered to make sure it came with a gift. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

All of my love,

Misha

*

Dear Mama,

I'm glad you enjoyed the cookies! I'll be sure to let Demoman know, and give him your thanks. As always, Ludwig and Scout send their love.

Things have been busy of late. We finally had a nice, week-long furlough, our first of the year and entirely too overdue. I took the opportunity to simply spend time with Ludwig, though I'll admit I've slacked on the research I said I intended to do. Following Yana's next book recommendation, I ended up visiting a local bookstore and walking out with far more novels than I'd intended. I won't lie; I used to look down on books like these, but as the years go by I realize more and more that not every word committed to page needs to be come world-changing insight. Sometimes a story can simply be fun, and that's enough.

Also, I don't need a French-to-Russian dictionary in hand for these books, which is a blessing in itself. I don't miss those long, sleepless nights working on my doctorate! And I like to think this has been helping my reading skills in English, which is its own reward. Scout isn't a particularly strong reader, so I hope to help him practice. As such, I need to improve as well. It's good motivation so that I don't get lazy about language acquisition.

After our furlough, there was a company event. A gala of sorts with all of BLU's various teams, at a rather nice venue with a frankly obscenely expansive bar. They even had cocktails I enjoyed, and you know how rare that is. The news was sprung on us quite abruptly, but thankfully our Spy was able to outfit us with custom suits, thanks to being a shapeshifter who knows an excellent tailor. Ludwig gets clothes made by the same person; they do wonderful work. I've never seen my dove so elegant. The whole team looked very handsome, dressed in such fine clothes. We almost looked like a bunch of gentlemen! Very unlike us, I know. We even managed to not make too much trouble at the event itself, which was a small mercy. (I was on my best behaviour; don't worry, Mama.)

We took a few photos before leaving for the event, so I asked our handler for some copies. I'm including a group shot of all of us, and one with Ludwig, Scout and I.

And before she writes back anything about that photo to me, please tell Bronislava, again, that our Sniper is not single, and to please stop asking me about it. He's dating our Demoman. Don't ask me about that, either. I'm not about to divulge the details of my friends' love lives.

All of my love,

Misha

*

Dear Mama,

Please tell Yana that our Spy is also taken, and to please stop asking me questions about him and his love life.

Also please tell Zhanna that I'm not hogging every handsome man on earth for myself. She's being ridiculous.

That said, I hope this letter finds you well. Thank you for your sweet words about my photos. I've passed on the compliments to Ludwig, Scout, and the rest of the team, who were all very flattered and grateful.

We recently had another week-long furlough, which we ended up spending on-base, mostly for lack of plans. It was nice to be able to relax, though. I read the next book Yana sent, and have sent a few more with this package, as well as a letter for her to discuss the books in-depth. I'll spare you and the whole family our ramblings. I'm glad the trading post there has been sourcing more books for her voracious literary appetite, though. It's been nice to read fiction in Russian again. It's more relaxing than practicing my English, to be sure. I'll be sure to return her books with the next package. I fear this one is already too large.

Scout was away for the week, off with our Sniper and Spy on an outside job in Japan. It sounded very eventful, though in the interim our Demoman, who I think I mentioned is dating our Sniper, was inconsolable most of the time. It was pathetic, yes, but also very sweet. I would like to think I would be in better spirits should Ludwig have to spend a week away, but to say I'm sure would be hubris. After all, we go together, as I like to say.

It turns out that the Japan job was to help Spy's sister with a mess that had ended up on her doorstep thanks to his own past. News of this, among a few other things, has had me thinking. Getting in and out of Russia has always been difficult, which is why I attempt the crossing so rarely. It's only by the grace of the power of Builder's League United that I'm afforded such frequent correspondence with you all. And I can't help but worry that my own larger profile on the scene of mercenary operations might find you all, remote as your hiding place may be. I still worry that your location is less secure than I think. And I worry that if something should happen to me, or to my employment here, what sort of lurch that would leave you four in.

Also, Zhanna has been most vocal on the matter of men. Where are the men? When do I get to meet any men? Why am I not meeting any men now? And so on.

As such, I've decided to begin the process of working toward bringing you all to America in the next few years, where you will be truly safe from the KGB, and able to flourish as you deserve. It's not enough anymore just to try and keep you safe at home. Not when you deserve so much more.

It's with no small amount of guilt that I make this decision. While I have been working hard, and sending you the majority of my money, I feel as though my idleness such as my last furlough is cruel when you all yet live in fear and isolation. I'm here working for you, but in doing so, I have a surprising amount of leisure, like a great predator lounging between hunts, and it worries me that I'm being unduly selfish. After all, I have two beautiful lovers, a team of close friends, food and comfort when I want it, and peace when there isn't bloodshed. We fight a war with no personal stakes by day and play by night, eating and drinking our fill and passing our free time with games and romance, far away from the civilized world, in a place so private that Ludwig can walk about on talons with his wings proudly on display, and Scout can prance on hooves and try his best not to clatter his antlers into the lower doorways. It's our own private, violent Eden in its way, and it feels cruel to enjoy this life when you still hunt bear meat for your meals.

Ludwig's tried to assuage my feelings, to explain that being with him and Scout merely expands my family, and that I shouldn't make myself miserable as some penance, but I find it hard not to hold that guilt within me regardless. Especially when I use his ring to transform and see a bald reflection of Papa staring back at me in the mirror.

You four are the most important thing in the world. Not just my world. The world. And I want to give you that world. I've already requested information from my handler regarding the steps I would need to take in this, as she would likely be the conduit through which all of this happens. The process will be slow, and delicate, but I'm hoping that within two years, you will never have to eat bear again.

Zhanna, no dirty jokes.

I know this is exciting news, and I'm sorry it's on such a long timeline, but I wanted to make you all this promise now, so that you know there is an end in sight—a light at the end of this frozen, lonely tunnel. In the meanwhile, if there's anything you'd like me to send in these packages, please don't hesitate to ask. As it is, I've included some cakes Scout brought back for me from Japan. He says they're called 'manju', and are quite tasty.

All of my love,

Misha

[keylovesstuff]

It's Coronation Day!!!! Whoo!!

Hi everyone!!! my motivation and energy have finally aligned to get this done and I cannot be happier.

Little Events: Chapter 3- The Coronation

AO3

FFN

Note: There is a line in here that implies underage drinking nothing too detailed I promise but just in case wanna give you a heads up.

What does being an effective ruler mean to you? 

Peach had been thinking about this question for the last couple of days after Toadsworth proposed that she write a speech to share with the community that raised her. Everyone on the main council who had direct involvement in her physical and diplomatic training for years now, had complete confidence that she was ready. There were a handful of toads who thought otherwise and voiced their criticisms aloud.

What does she know about life and how the world works to make the best decision for their lives?

That question was the most frequent one she's heard from the people and even now with a few days to go, she still doesn't have an answer. Toadsworth had offered to help her out with the letter but she had declined for several reasons. For as much as she valued his insight, he already had his plate full with preparing for the ceremony and he was already stressing every little detail to make it all perfect. If anything, having him fret over something that should really be in her words from start to finish would frustrate them both for wanting it worded a certain way. For the most part thankfully she didn't have to worry about that with her current companion dozing off in the sunlight.

"Think any harder Peaches and your brain just might pop out" Bowser chuckled without opening his eyes.

"Excuse me but we all can't just pop out miraculous speeches that move a crowd within hours" she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to the back of his shell. Adjusting the quill in her hand, Peach refocused her attention to the same four words that's been on the paper for the past hour and a half. 

Everything that came to mind no matter how she chose to word it didn't feel right. Should she just list her promises and present it to her people that way? She shook her head at the thought...that would be something a small child would do not someone turning sixteen. Bullet points are all fine but, elaborating those statements would definitely be expected.

"What a shame more people don't have my charismatic personality." Bowser finally opened his eyes, turning his head to face Peach who was once again pulled out of her train of thoughts by his words. "Oh  give me more credit, I can come up with something on the spot. Didn't even need a quill and paper for a brainstorm with my first speech" he added with a smirk.

"No way" Peach gasped aloud, setting her materials on the grass beside her. "You're telling me you didn't write anything beforehand or even rehearsed it several times in front of a mirror. That speech you gave when they crowned you King was way too good" she leaned towards him with each question.

"That's exactly what I'm saying and by the looks of what you have right now..." with a glance at the paper "Maybe you should give it a shot" he added as she snatched the sheet back up.

"Giving a speech with some sort or organization is one thing. Giving a speech without any preparation is another" Peach told him while looking thoughtfully at the paper. "I think if I write something down it would give me the confidence I need to face them" she finished and heard him scoff.

"It's that uncertainty there that makes your people think you're not ready to rule. If you can't even write a simple paper given days in advance what are you going to do if you're put on the spot?" He asked her seriously while examining his claws.

Peach froze as she considered his words and thought back on her interactions with people from the past week. Perhaps she could have been more confident in both her body language and word choice. Instead of inching away and shyly assuring the toads that she's ready to take on whatever challenges may come…she should have stood tall, looked them in their beady eyes, and even if it was fake confidence in that moment, they surely would have more faith in her now. A couple more quiet minutes passed of her thinking before she concluded that it would be another day of completing nothing. She folded the paper into sixths, put the quill in the pocket of her pants, placed the lid on her ink, and rolled her eyes.

"You're kind of sounding like Toadsworth, can we change the conversation?" Peach asked, crossing her legs and setting her hands in between them.

"Ugh don't compare a King as superior as myself to that old fool you call an advisor"  Bowser scrunched up his face following her lead and sitting up as well. "I'll have you banished from the darklands, the next time you say something like that" he added tone free of any amusement.

Peaches' stare matched the seriousness of his last statement that told him 'Toadsworth is far from a fool' and that he should take that back. Bowser backed down for the time being.

"Fine then don't compare how I'd say something to how your advisor would say it. I'm completely serious about that last part though." He finished.

"Joke's on you, Toadsworth would love to hear that I'm no longer allowed to step foot in your homeland" Peach giggled at the thought of The mustached toad smiling for miles if she were to tell him after four years of knowing each other that he told her to never come back again.

Toadsworth and Bowser got along well together most of the time. After all, Bowser gave him and the rest of the council decent advice on what a Kingdom being built from the ground up needed from firsthand experience. The Koopa also kept true to his word when it came to discovering unknown parts of their land for resources. Throughout the years they found a variety of consumable mushroom power ups. These served to greatly improve the toads productivity as they found the red ones greatly raised their size and strength. Yellow-orange mushrooms with red spots worked similarly to the red ones but grew its user to gigantic proportions which proved useful for taller buildings, her castle being the most recently completed project. There was a one person limit on the use of those to prevent any accidental crushings.

They found that blue mushrooms would miniaturize the user and even now, the toads weren't really sure how they felt about it. Already being three feet tall they didn't really like being that much smaller  and couldn't think of other tasks it could be useful for at this point. Then there was a Green that no one was sure of its functionality. After a couple attempts of consuming the mushroom with no effects, they decided it would be best to save what they found to study more thoroughly since they were such a rare find in the first place.That's where the positive interactions between the two ended.

Most disagreements between the Koopa King and Older Toad came from their approaches to Peach's leadership teachings. When it came to her obstacle courses, where Toadsworth opted for cardboard cutouts, Bowser commanded the minions of his army to take the places and dare them to hold back. The introduction of power ups brought on more problems as they went back and forth on whether she should or shouldn't be allowed to use them for certain exercises. Toadsworth would often tell Bowser off to his face about how sick he was for the look of pleasure in his eyes as she managed to barely avoid getting her head chopped off by a piranha plant or losing a power up after a small misstep. Majority of the time Bowser laughed in his face and told him to suck it up cause in a life or death scenario she may and may not make it as he told Peach to run the course again but in her heels.

Bowser's conceited attitude rubbed Toadsworth the wrong way and he always told Peach to not let the way he talks have any influence on her as if she didn't have her own mind. The whole month they've been going back and forth on every little detail for this coronation and other things that could probably be discussed at a later time if she was honest. 

Should the event start sometime in the late morning and run all the way into the afternoon? Or do they allow it to be an all night affair running into the next day?

The earlier it starts the better for everyone to be able to join and there are way more fun activities to do during the day. Versus Bowser's idea of celebrating all night rocking out and possibly indulging in beverages not fit for young toads.

They were not recreating his crowning as King where he had to take the trip to the darklands himself to escort the princess in training back home, catching taking a few sips of whatever was in that cup was Toadsworth's only response. 

They ended up settling for Peach's suggestion of starting around two in the afternoon and lasting into nine at night with the plus of shooting fireworks.

Fast loud rock music to keep everyone from the snooze fest that would come from soft soothing instrumental music that Toadsworth pitched.

Peach just suggested a mix of both cause everyone likes a variety of everything right? She knows she does even if her preference leaned more towards the instrumental playlist she grew up with, she's come around to the music in the Darklands.

They should do the allegiance signing at the... End of her speech it makes sense that way. Her main color should be...Pink. It's been her favorite for as long as she could remember. When can they start visiting and introducing her to other kingdoms...When everyone has free time to go together.

Fingers snapping in front of her face pulled her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head and looking up at him, she realized he was asking her a question. She hummed to let him know she was listening.

"Finally I swear you space out the most. Your King was asking what you wanted for your Birthday?" He repeated.

Rolling her eyes, she chose to ignore the first part of what he said. With all the preparations and struggling to write as of late, it was hard to remember that they chose to hold the coronation on her Birthday. Since she just appeared out of a pipe to them one day and she was too young to have any recollection herself, The toads just chose the day she came as the day they would celebrate her birth. Toadsworth chose this day as well to symbolize just how far she's come from being a tiny lost girl depending on them to this young woman who's fully capable of doing anything. Peach understood the sentimental meaning behind it all, even if she would go as far from saying she was capable. As the years have passed, even if they don't exactly see eye to eye on everything, her advisor would always be her number one fan and she would always appreciate the faith he has in her.

"I'm not sure" she told him honestly and then thought of a good idea with a gasp "how about you play something on your piano? You know that one melody you've been working on for awhile? It's so nice and I'm curious to see if you've gotten around to adding any lyrics to it" she gazed off in the distance.

"No" He simply answered as she whined out a 'c'mon' followed by a 'please' "as much as I would like to hear you beg. It's far from finished and the words haven't come to me yet." He finished.

"You asked me what I wanted and that's what I would like." She pouted. "So much for 'Mr.Words Come To Me In Seconds'" she mocked her hands mimicking air quotes.

"For that comment, now you don't get to choose. I'll get you whatever I want" he smiled proudly at her crossing her arms accompanied by her brows furrowing in anger with a 'whatever' in response. " back to the Birthday two questions. Will there be cake? If yes. Are you making it?" 

"Of course there's going to be cake and you know the answer to the secondary question. I rarely bake anything anymore." She answered and again reminisced about a hobby she was likely rusty at now.

Growing up she enjoyed watching Toadsworth and other adults prepare meals and as soon as she was tall enough to reach the countertop, Peach would be right next to them offering to add or mix ingredients together. It took awhile for Toadsworth especially but eventually, she was allowed to prepare full meals with little supervision and assistance. One year someone gave her a cookbook of recipes they wrote themselves and she immediately fell in love with the sweet treats. Once she got the hang of dishes, she grew confident to add her own twists on them. When everyone started getting serious about her training, being in the kitchen was one of the last places they let her go. It was in the early days of their friendship that she made cake one day and Bowser impatiently ate the entire thing and demanded she make another one.

"What a shame" was his only comment to that as he stood up and Peach followed his lead. "Anyway since you don't need my help with writing anymore I'm going to go and handle more important stuff. I'll see you in a few days.  Make sure there's some good stuff at that buffet table " He started in the direction of the pipe home.

"Ok I'll try. See you soon" Peach waved him off and once he was a good distance away she headed back towards the castle.

When Peach returned, she took note that Toadsworth wasn't in his office as the door was shut and locked. That was a good thing for now she supposed as she wasn't ready to have him question her about the speech. In fact maybe with the third and final change in atmosphere, she would finally string together the right words. She chose to go to her bedroom as a nice outfit change and fresh shower would probably rejuvenate her. On the way, she ran into one of the cooks, who offered to make and bring her a midday snack which she declined in favor of saving her appetite for dinner. 

Blow drying her hair halfway, she opted to let the rest of it air dry as she headed over to her dresser drawer. Peach pulled on a red pair of pajama pants and a plain pink tank top before slipping on her favorite fluffy light pink robe and some black bedroom slippers. By the window, sat her long white desk with a few dried up ink spots. There sat the paper from earlier which still had visible creases and the same four words that continued to taunt her. Ready to get started she sat down, pulled herself up to the desk, and grabbed her quill. The tip touched the next blank spot under the words and that's all she remembered before her mind went blank.

Peach kneeled before Toadsworth as he had asked her too. The audience had grown silent enough where you could hear a coin drop. Her heart was beating so fast she felt as if it would pop out of her chest at any minute. She kept her eyes on the ground and waited for her next order. The crown was placed atop of her head with only the slighted adjustments. With that she asked to stand and once more she was met with the hundreds of eyes on her.

"I give you the first...Princess Peach Toadstool. May she live a long healthy life and lead this Kingdom to many great things." Toadsworth finished and the crowd erupted in loud cheers and applause.

"All Hail Princess Peach" A lone toad somewhere amongst the others shouted. This coaxed others to join in as they repeated the phrase over and over again.

The echo grew fainter as the sound of knocking pulled her out of her dream that felt so real. Peach blinked her eyes several times as she refocused on her surroundings, glancing in the direction of her name being called from the other side of the door. Letting out a yawn she could feel drool on the left side of her cheek that she easily wiped off before looking at her hand. Stained in black she gasped loudly as she then noticed the knocked over ink cup that not only coated her hands but her paper as well. The voice on the other side was filled with panic as they called her name once more and asked if everything was okay. This time she responded.

"Uhh Yes sir I just spilled something. Please come in though." Peach stuttered out to Toadsworth now clearly registering his voice. She walked over to her vanity stand and grabbed a few wet wipes to get the ink stains off her hand and no doubt her face.

The slightly graying mustache toad opened the door and walked in and from the mirror's reflection she could see him eyeing every little corner of the room. Everything's in its place and the closets organized too she wanted to tell him reading his body language. The smell caught her attention before she noticed the serving tray in his hand.  Peach concluded she must've slept through dinner and the staff inside the castle couldn't get an answer from her, thus Toadsworth hand delivered her food himself. Cheep Cheep filet, rice, some mixed vegetables, and a cup of ice water all sat nicely on both the plate and coaster. She followed his movement as he went over to her soiled desk Noticing the mess he turned around and decided to place the tray on her bed instead.

"Peach Dear, your desk is an absolute mess. I fear that we won't be able to get a stain of that gratitude out no matter how good we wipe it" he placed his chin in between his fingers as he took in the damage. "I'll put in an order first thing in the morning and they should have a new one in here by the afternoon at the earliest." He assured her pulling out a miniature notepad and quill jotting down the reminder for himself.

Peach was about to speak up and tell him that there was no need to worry about the desk since it was still usable and the stains didn't bother her but, it seemed Toadsworth still had more to share as he continued.

"Though we're putting the final touches in your work office so there will be no need for you to bring anything extra to bed after all..."  He said as a matter of fact

"A Princess shouldn't do her work in the same space she should be getting her rest" Peach said along with him. She's heard it at least five times a day since they started working on it.

"Ah so remembered. Perfect, I'm very proud." He praised her and finally he noticed the paper on the desk. "Oh goodness was this the speech you've been working hard on?" She froze and hunched her shoulders at his question "It's simply unreadable but I trust that you finished it and took time to memorize as well. Yes?" He turned towards her and she avoided eye contact.

The long silence spoke volumes and was a dead give away of another day of procrastination. Peach figured she should at least give him something no matter how pointless it would be to him.

"I tried writing in the library and it was just too quiet. I went up to the hillside and even with Lord Bowser's company and advice, nothing came up." The scoff and 'predictable' comment at the mention of the Koopa from Toadsworth didn't go unnoticed. "I just came back home after that with the intentions of finishing it but I guess I fell asleep" she finished

Peach could feel the glare burn a hole on the side of her head as she crossed the room to get to the bathroom. From the corner of her eye she could see the disapproving shaking of his head and arms crossed. He waited for her to come out and sit down on the bed before he started talking again.

"You're cutting, finishing that speech awfully close for having two weeks on it would you not agree?" He inquired.

"I promise you I'll have it finished by tomorrow. I'll even leave it on your desk if you promise to only glance at it." She negotiated with him. 

"Have you forgotten about the last of the preparations we scheduled for the next two days? The dress rehearsal,  where the council would like to hear the speech beforehand to offer any last minute suggestion. Does all that sound familiar?" He reminded her by listing off each thing by his fingers.

All of that stuff did slip her mind but in fairness, she had 2-3 appointments everyday for the past two weeks with training sessions thrown somewhere in the mix. If Toadsworth didn't keep everything in his planner and stayed on top of her, Peach would probably be a no show at everything. He was taking his role as her royal adviser very seriously and showing that there was no one more suited for that role than he was.This stuff also reminded her of something she'd been meaning to ask him even if she already knew what he would say. There was no harm in trying though she supposed and just went for it.

"Toadsworth I was thinking, could I maybe do my own hair and makeup on the day of the coronation?" Again completely ignoring his previous inquiries. "I promise It'll look presentable." She told him. 

Toadsworth didn't answer her right away. He seemed to really be considering it and she could tell that he was mentally weighing the pros and cons of her request. The only fair reason she could see him denying her is because she's only been doing her own makeup for a couple of months. All the more reason for him to give her the opportunity to perfect the skill is what she could counter with. When Toadsworth makes up his mind about someone however, it's hard to sway him. 

"Absolutely not." He watched the hopeful expression drain from her face instantly "This is an extremely important event and it'll no doubt go down in the history books. You're still an amateur when it comes to both things and I will not have you looking any kind of way." He explained

Seemingly finished with his self rant, Peach was about to retort with a response of her own but, as soon as she opened her mouth, he did too.

"However, with it being your Birthday we'll let you have a little input in the process. Remember, everything needs to happen on time. I can't have you taking up three hours redoing your makeup or restyling your hair cause you're satisfied with it one moment and the next you're not. You do understand where I'm coming from right?" He asked her and gave himself a pat on the back when her face brightened with a wide smile. 

"That works! Thank you so much" she jumped off the bed nearly spilling the tray and knocking Toadsworth over as she wrapped her arms around him. "That's rude though I'm not that indecisive when it comes to getting ready. Give me a break" she told him half seriously.

"Would I say it if it wasn't true?" He returned the comment with a similar tone, they both shared a little laugh before. His expressions grew serious as he pulled her away from the embrace. "I do need you to get that speech done. You have till the morning of the rehearsal at the latest." She nodded eagerly.

"Pinky promise It'll be ready by then" she held out her finger waiting for him to lock together and seal the deal. He did.

"Well with that I'll be retiring to my quarters for the evening. Be sure to eat all your dinner and leave the tray in the hall for the staff to pick it up on their morning rounds." Toadsworth made his way to the doorway and Peach followed. "I'll be here at eight sharp to escort you to the first of your appointments. Do make sure you bring the paper and quill in case inspiration strikes you while we're about." He told her.

"Yes sir, Toadsworth. Goodnight and I hope you get plenty of rest." Peach wished him. Now that he mentioned eight in the morning, that reminded her how they didn't go over tomorrow's schedule. No use in saying anything about it now she figured.

"Same to you as well my dear. Please come and see me if you need anything.  I'll be up for a little while longer. " He finally said, turning to make his way down the hall.  

Peach closed the door behind him after a few moments. Not long after finishing her meal and one final trip to the bathroom for the night, she lay comfortably in bed. The only light source came from the moonlight as it shone on the desk. Even now the right words still hadn't come to her and while it was frustrating she knew thinking about it wouldn't get it done. Pushing those thoughts aside for now she faced away to stare at the door instead. Closing her eyes it took her over an hour to finally fall asleep. 

Two days came and went like a blur and Peach could not have dreaded it more with the knot in her stomach. She felt as if the moment she got out of bed, she'd puke up last night's dinner. The sunlight that greeted her, did nothing but burn her eyes and in turn hurt her head. To keep the room from spinning she laid face down and pulled both the pillow and covers over her head. Though hopeless, she wished she was maybe a week in the future already crowned and working on whatever assignment that required her attention. That same knocking on the door from two nights ago, did nothing for the way her heart was rapidly beating as she tried to curl more into herself to be as small as possible.  

"Peach My Dear, it's Toadsworth can I come in" He called out as chipper as ever. 

"Come in!" She groaned out weakly. Glad someone sounds like they're in a good mood she envied.

The knob twisted and in walked Toadsworth. Similarly to the other night, she smelled the food first but that didn't coax her one bit into removing the covers. If anything it spoiled her appetite even more.

"Happy Birthday to you my dear and here's to a wonderful coronation day." He cheered. Taking the tray over to the new desk he sat it down and finally took a better look at the bundled object on the bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked, a bit worried.

"Can we maybe...um I don't know...do this at a later date?" Peach asked him in a quiet strained voice.  She had to repeat herself a little louder as he didn't hear her the first time.

"I'm afraid not my dear, unless you're really-" he gasped aloud causing her to flinch slightly at the sound. He was at the side of her bed in an instant pulling the covers away. This made Peach finally move the pillow out the way as she stared tiredly back at him. "You're not sick are you? I should've been more observant of your health these past days." He pushed her bangs out of her face in order to feel her forehead. 

I wish Peach thought to herself miserably as Toadsworth began to mark off all the common symptoms associated with sickness. No fever, Throat feels fine, No dry cough, No stuffy or runny nose, and no red eyes. Nothing. The next thing he asked made her sit up in bed sharply, turning a bright cherry red in embarrassment.

"Oh perhaps your monthlies decided that today would be a good morning to pay you a visit. Never matter, just do what you usually do and I'll get someone to make you a herbal tea and if necessary I'll get the doctor to come over." He assured her. "My apologies for not taking this into consideration when picking a date. I should've done a better job at tracking it" he spoke aloud as he started off. He made it two steps before he felt her hand grip his turning to face her once more.

"It's not that and please don't ever track that please. I can do it on my own." She begged him.

"Well if you're not sick in any way, what seems to be troubling you this morning? We got some time to talk about it. Maybe I can help" he pulled himself up on her bed and covered her hand with both his urging to be honest and that he was listening.

"I suppose, I'm just extremely anxious about everyone's reaction to everything." She told him looking down at their hands.

Truth is all the outcomes that have come across her mind have been nothing but negative. Almost all of them ended in the same scenario: 

The toads not accepting her as their leader and banishing her to some unknown land.

Peach felt silly to think something like that would happen in a million years but, there was this nagging voice in the back of her head telling her otherwise. Other minor things included forgetting her speech and stumbling over all her words after rehearsing it repeatedly all night. There was also tripping on her feet despite being able to walk  perfectly fine in heels for years now. Finally she would rather disappear, if for some reason she just broke out in tears in front of the people that trust her to be strong regardless of what's going on. She didn't notice her breathing slightly escalate or her hands shake involuntarily until she felt Toadsworth squeeze them, bringing her back to the present.

"Words probably won't do much to ease your anxiety about this but it really is all that I can provide" He told her honestly. "I want you to take a deep breath and just take time to remember the most important thing. You know what that is right?" She followed his instruction. A deep inhale and  an exhale. Shaking her head at the question. He chuckled "I know you know it but I have no problems reminding you. Just as much as you want to succeed, we all want to see you do so as well. We'll stand by you through everything that happens. We may be bigger in numbers then when you were younger but we'll always be a community that takes care of each other, yes?" He told her confidentiality.

Toadsworth was right about both statements. While it eased her nervousness a bit, it didn't go away entirely. If it was anything she learned from growing up amongst the toads, they had unconditional love and loyalty to each other and would always be there to lift each other up no matter how bad things get. She nodded her head in agreement.

"Good. Now I'll return in an hours

 That should be enough time for you to get situated for the morning." He rubbed her hands gently before getting up to leave.

"Toadsworth" she called out to him. Pausing in the doorway he looked for her to continue. "Thank you for the wishes for earlier and I'm going to make you all proud" she promised.

"Of Course and you've already made me prouder than you'll ever know." He gave her a wide smile and with that he left.

Peach carried out her usual morning routine with a new purpose and feeling a bit better about herself. In between mouthfuls of fruits, Bowser had sent his 'gifts' to her and the staff delivered it outside her door. A potted piranha plant that she'll put on the balcony till it learns to obey or she accidentally kills it in self defense. A hefty bag of what sounded like gold coins... someone's feeling generous. Lastly a piece of paper that she at first assumed was a portrait of himself as he did that every year however, this paper was wrapped in a red ribbon. It took her a minute to realize that this was the treaty they agreed on all these years ago. Cutting it close by sending it the day off but Bowser has always done things on his time and terms.

Peach placed the document on her desk. She figured when she meets back up with Toadsworth he'll read over the details and they'll negotiate things at a later date if need be. After handing over said paper, Toadsworth took her to the hairdresser and told her that he'd see her around an hour before the event got started. They tried out multiple hairstyles yesterday to see which one she liked the most. At one point they narrowed down styles to one long single braid or just curling it and styling it in a cute updo or letting it hang down. That's when she flipped through the book and saw a variety of different hair buns so they tried them out until she found the one. Everyone loved the rose bun and they opted to brush her signature bangs in and added a small pink heart shaped hair clip. 

Peach touched up her mascara a bit, having done it earlier before coming after a couple toads applied her makeup. The toads let her put on the light pink lipstick herself. While they got outfits from other places, The toads crafted most of the clothing in her wardrobe and they went all out creating gowns just for today. She must have tried on over two dozen different custom dresses the other day. By the third hour she felt as if her legs would give out standing in one spot for so long.  Between all the yes's, no's,  try the other one on again, and if you like this one you she thought it would never end. Everyone instantly fell in love and agreed that the final dress she tried on was the one. 

A powder pink floor length spaghetti strap v-neck dress with lace on the top. For added modesty they paired it with a long cape the same color. Peach had just finished sliding on the 6-inch silver heels when one of the toads came over to her with a flat light pink gift box tied with a hot pink ribbon. It's from Toadsworth who told them to give it to her once she was dressed.  They left her alone in the room to open it and she almost broke into tears upon seeing it along with a handwritten note. A sapphire jeweled brooch and a pair of matching big sphered earrings, her favorite gemstone for as long as she could remember. 

"It's beautiful just like your eyes"  he told her when he caught her admiring the gem through the glass.

The note as simple as it was made her heart swell with happiness. It said:

" Happy Birthday my beautiful Princess,

I'm so proud of the person you're growing into. You're so confident, strong, and kind everything a good leader should be. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things you will continue to do in the future. 

Forever by your side, Toadsworth"

Peach reread it several times fully taking in all the words. With a long deep breath she folded the note and placed it inside the lid of the box. She stood in front of the mirror and put on the earrings first. She positioned the brooch in different places around her chest, before settling by pinning it in the middle. Time seemed to fly by as she admired her final appearance only pulled out of her thoughts at the toad guard asking if she was ready to be escorted to the throne room. Two of them led her in the front while two others followed behind.  The walk that seemed so short now seemed never-ending now as the nerves from earlier started making its way back up.

Too distracted to notice, the toads stopped in front of the large brown double door and she almost bumped into them. They were waiting on the green toad told her. It shouldn't be long now a yellow toad said from behind. This was it,  the real deal, her one and only chance to make a good impression as a Princess. Do it as you rehearsed and They will love it, was what she kept saying in her head. From behind the door she could barely make out the words Toadsworth was saying until he said 'I give you Peach'. 

Not wasting even a second more, both toads each took a side and pushed the door open. Peach squared her shoulders and stood tall and faced forward. The atmosphere around her went silent as they took the tread towards the steps. From the corner of her eyes she could see the orchestra of toads playing their instruments. Both sides were filled with citizens applauding and smiling at her entrance. Bowser did take his spot at the front and even he seemed to be impressed with her newfound confidence. The guards broke off to the left and right sides and pivoted facing each other as they reached the first step.

Peach continued forward as practiced. Heart beating faster with each step up. Toadsworth stood at the top holding a pillow with her golden ruby and sapphire decorated crown. The final step came quicker than she was expecting and once she was next to Toadsworth, she turned to finally face the audience. With a raise of her right arm the applause and music faded into silence. This was it she willed herself and with one final exhale she was ready to speak.

“Good afternoon my people. I want to first start off by thanking each and every one of you for being here today as I take the first step towards being someone you guys can look too for protection and to depend on to make the best choices possible for you all." She started and surprised her own self at how clear her words were coming out. "I want you all to know that you can always come to me with any concerns you have and I will hear you out through everything. I won't promise that there won't be any mistakes but I will do my best to remedy them as soon as they happen. It is with the love and kindness you've shown me all my life that has taught me what it means to grow a  community. So I promise to take all those teachings and put them into practice to keep it growing. Thank you for giving me the chance to be your leader. I won't let you down" She finished with a graceful curtsy to them all and once again the audience erupted in applause and cheers.

"You may now kneel" Toadsworth told her and the audience once again went silent as she followed his instructions. 

She felt the crown being placed on her head. It's as if with that one object all the responsibilities fell on her shoulders at once. While anxious about it, at the same time, she was ready to take on those challenges to the best of her abilities.

"You may rise." Again at his word, she did as he asked. "I give you all the first in name. Princess Peach Toadstool of the mushroom kingdom. May she do amazing things for us all" Toadsworth announced.

"All Hail Princess Peach" The entire throne room was filled with toads shouting the phrase over and over again. The Koopa King himself even joined in.

Peach was ready to show them all what she was really capable of.