#the kids in my class really like sing so I finally watched the two of them

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve grows up playing piano, absolutely hates it, but is so good at it. His parents aren’t around enough by the time he’s a teen to force him to his practices, so he slowly stops going.

His music teacher happens to be Robin’s mom, who studied at Juilliard, and traveled for nearly a decade with various orchestras and bands before settling down with her husband in Hawkins.

She can see what’s going on with Steve from day one, but knows better than to interfere.

Until he quits.

She can’t stand by and let someone so musically gifted give it up.

She shows up at his house with a violin, her own violin that she hadn’t used in years.

He’s hesitant at first, but decides to give it a try as long as she doesn’t tell his parents. The last thing he wants is for them to find out he picked up a new instrument.

She can’t give him official lessons, so she shows up to his house twice a week and hopes that he practices in his own time.

He’s a natural.

He takes to it like a duck to water.

She encourages him to perform in a local talent show, all kids under 18, most of them not half as talented as he is.

He only agrees when she says she’ll be front row.

And sure enough, for once in his life, someone shows up when they say they will. She’s sitting front row with her husband on one side and her daughter on the other. She smiles as he takes the stage, nervous about people who know him seeing him and reporting back to his parents.

He performs with heart, something he lacked with the piano. He performs with talent, something he may have with any instrument he picks up.

But most importantly, he plays with a smile. He’s having fun.

He sticks around to watch some of the other people performing: Tammy Thompson singing a very out of tune rendition of America The Beautiful, some kid from one of his classes playing piano miserably, and some band performing very loud, very angry music.

Steve wins, and for once, it feels better than when he wins at a swim meet or basketball game.

He spends the next three years secretly practicing, only performing in shows out of town, never saying anything to his parents.

He doesn’t want them to ruin this for him.

He applies to Juilliard, not thinking he has a chance in hell, not with his academic grades.

Luckily, they see that he’s “exceptional with the strings” and “plays with emotion that can’t be trained.”

He gets in.

He goes.

He thinks he may actually be able to do this, use a gift he has to make his life better.

His parents even find it acceptable, mostly because he got into the best school he could have. They still don’t bother showing up for his shows, but Mrs. Buckley always finds a way.

In his sophomore year, Robin gets in, and they both move into a small apartment off campus together. He promised to look out for her.

She tells him that music wasn’t really her passion, she was just good with a trumpet. She really wanted to be an engineer.

In his junior year, Robin transfers to Columbia, starts doing what she really wanted to do from the start. He’s proud of her, but misses having someone on campus during the day to have lunch with.

Until he stumbles, literally, into someone vaguely familiar.

“Sorry, man. Running late.”

Steve pats the man on the shoulder and turns to get to his class when the man stops him.

“Harrington? You’re a student here?”

He turns back and finally recognizes the man in front of him.

“Munson? When did you get here?”

“I got in this year. Kinda fucked up my first audition last year and they were kind enough to give me another shot.” Eddie smiled. “What on earth are you here for?”

“Violin. You?”

“Guitar and songwriting.”

“That’s great, man. I’m just really running late. Catch up soon?”

Soon was two weeks later, when Steve ran into Eddie again while leaving class.

“We should probably stop running into each other like this,” Eddie smirked. “The universe is trying to tell us something.”

“What’s it trying to tell us?”

“Not sure. Maybe we should go grab dinner and find out.”

“Now?”

“Why not? Got better plans?”

Steve thought about how Robin was barely at the apartment due to studying for midterms. He thought about how his only other friend from here was busy rehearsing for their senior showcase.

“Nah. Let me bring this home first,” he held up his violin case. “Actually.”

Steve was on a budget. His parents gave him money, sure, but they thought he was living on campus so the money they sent covered rent and groceries and nothing else.

“I could make dinner. If you want?”

“Steve Harrington cooks? And plays violin?” Eddie fake swooned. “Be still my beating heart. How will I not be seduced?”

Steve rolled his eyes. He remembered Eddie’s dramatics from school and knew better than to feed into them.

“I can make some spaghetti. Nothing fancy.”

“Spaghetti sounds great,” Eddie’s fake swoon turned to a soft smile. “You want some help?”

Steve didn’t need help, usually didn’t even want any.

But something about the way his stomach dipped when Eddie stepped closer, and the way he thought about having Eddie in his apartment, made him agree.

“Sure.”

They walked to Steve’s apartment in a comfortable silence, though Eddie kept tapping the back of his fingers against Steve’s hand.

Eddie fit next to Steve. They cooked together, they ate together, they even managed to clean up together. It was easy to find something to talk about. He’d never clicked with anyone like this, not even Robin.

By the time Robin came home, Steve and Eddie were both passed out on the couch, fingers laced together as if they hadn’t been brave enough to do anything more before they fell asleep.

By morning, Steve’s head was on Eddie’s shoulder, Eddie’s arm wrapped around him loosely.

Waking up to a soft kiss on his lips was something Steve couldn’t have imagined when he first ran into Eddie, but he was pretty glad it was how he started his day.

And almost every day after that, whether he woke up to a kiss, or met up with Eddie on campus for a kiss, he started his day with love on his lips.

[yeonzzzn]

🏹 not your boyfriend, not your girlfriend: soobin x fem!reader | college au!, friends to lovers | warnings: some smut ♡

you ain’t my boyfriend and I ain’t your girlfriend but you don’t want me to see nobody else and I don’t want you to see nobody…

[4.0k words] ☆ [pls do not repost]

He’s not your boyfriend. You’re not his girlfriend. But the thought of someone else touching you angers him. The thought of another female even looking at him throws you into a spiral. 

Yet there’s nothing either of you can do about it. You two aren’t together after all. 

You lean against the wall twirling the red solo cup in your hand, glancing around the room at the sea of drunk college kids. Watching as they play party games and sing so off-key to the music blasting out of the speakers. 

You take a sip from your drink, debating whether or not to leave right after this cup was empty. Parties weren’t really your thing after all. You only come with your best friend, who ended up ditching you the moment you walked in the door. 

You finished the drink, turning to leave when someone bumps into you. 

“There you were babe!” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, planting a kiss on your forehead, “been looking everywhere for you.” 

You sign, knowing now that you’re trapped. 

“Come on, babe don’t look so disappointed to see me.” 

“I was fixing to leave, Soobin.” you scoffed, finally breaking free from his arms. 

His dimple smile melts your heart, sending tingles down your spine, “I noticed you seemed like you wanted to leave,” he said looking down at your empty cup, “but the guy standing by the window was giving you a look and decided to step in to protect you.” 

You raised your brow at him, “Protect me? Soobin?”

He nodded, “Of course. Mans looks like a whole dick and a half.” 

You chuckle, dropping your head into your palm, “Probably because he HAS a dick, Choi Soobin.” 

Soobin tucks his bottom lip between his teeth. He wants to shout at you his feelings so you could finally understand why he’s so protective over you. 

Soobin grabs your empty cup and sets it against the counter then places his hands on your shoulders, softly pressing you against the wall. 

You look up at him, seeing the want in his eyes. Your whole body heats up. 

“Just spend some extra time with me, ya? Before you decide to head out?” He whispered. 

How quickly you nodded your head in agreement should scare you, you didn’t want him to know how badly you wanted him. He’s not your boyfriend, after all. 

Soobin smirks, sliding his hands down to your hands. Pulling you away from the wall and leading you up the stairs in this dance you’ve both done many times before. 

It started out like this. 

Two lonely people at a party were ditched by their friends and had nothing else better to do than each other. 

You knew who he was. He sat two rows behind you in class. He was quiet, and only spoke to his friends he had in class. Was five minutes early every day and for the most part kept to himself unless spoken to by the professor or another classmate. 

It surprised you when he first walked into the party. Barely even recognized him. He went from this innocent boy who hid his face with his hair, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie to class, into this sexy man in tight light blue skinny jeans with holes in them, Nike air forces, and a long sleeve black shirt with his hair parted. 

If you didn’t know him from before, you would assume he was one of the popular party boys all the girls drool over. 

And damn, he was catching looks from the girls at the party. 

Your best friend looped her arm with yours, “Earth to Y/N!! Did you hear me?”

You snapped your eyes away from Choi Soobin, giving your best friend your full attention, “I’m sorry I was daydreaming, what did you say?” 

She side-eyes the area you were just staring at, “were you looking at Soobin?” 

You blink at her, “You know him? And calling him by his first name?” 

She smiles brightly, “Yep! we have chem lab together and I’m SOOOO into one of his friends.”

You nodded at her, “I should’ve known,” You looked back over in Soobin’s direction, noticing his dog pack behind him, “which one are you here for?” you asked her. 

She giggles and squeezes your arm tighter, “Taehyun! We met at the campus coffee shop and totally hit it off right away!” 

You nodded again, “I’m sure you did.” 

“We did! And he told me about this party tonight.” 

“Is that why you canceled our stay indoors and watch horror movies best friend date and dragged me to this party instead? To hook up with Kang Taehyun?” you raised a brow at her. 

“When you put it that way you make me seem like a bad guy,” she pouted at you, “plus he told me his friends would be coming with him, sooooo I figured you could ya know.” she nudged your arm. 

You scoff at her, “Nope! absolutely not. I’m going home!” 

“Y/N! Please, you need to get out there!”

Before you could protest, Soobin and his four friends were right beside you guys. 

“Wow you made it Hanna,” Taehyun says basically stealing my best friend from me, “who’s this?” he asked giving me a small smile. 

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” 

Taehyung nodded, “Nice to put a face to the name. Hanna talks about you all the time.” 

You glance over at her. She gives you her normal apologetic smile. 

“Anyways how rude, these are my best friends, Choi Yeonjun, Huening kai, Choi Beomgyu and that’s—“

“Choi Soobin.” you said, giving all five of them a small smile. 

The boys all looked at Soobin, waiting for an explanation.

“W-we have a class together.” Soobin says, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

After that awkward conversation, you slowly walked away to grab yourself a drink, because god knows you need it now. 

“Grab me a drink too please!” Hanna calls after you.

When you returned to the same spot the six of them were, only Soobin remained. 

You shook your head, “where did they go?” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “Your guess is as good as mine.” He folded his arms against his chest and leaned against the wall. 

You stood beside him, “well you can have this I guess.” you said, handing him the cup. 

“I didn’t picture you as a partygoer, Y/N.” Soobin softly smiles while taking a sip of the drink. 

“You neither, you completely look different than you do in class.” 

He chuckles, “Yeah I don’t really try for college. No need to impress anyone. Go in, get your education, get out, and go back home.” 

“Then why are you here tonight?” you asked. 

He glances at you, “Everyone else was coming, and Yeonjun Hyung basically pulled me by my ear out of the dorm.” 

You nodded with a sigh, “Hanna basically did the same to me.” 

“Guess we’re in this together then.” Soobin held out his cup towards you in a way of cheers. 

You mimicked the action, then you both chugged down the drinks. 

You don’t remember much of the conversations after that. Just that you both continued to drink and drink. 

“Okay okay, truth time.” Soobin drunkenly giggles. 

“What is this? Truth or dare? Are we five?” you giggle back at him. 

“Never too old for it,” he defends, “anyways truth.”

“Okay, I’m listening.” You smile, taking another sip of your drink.

Soobin tucks his lip between his teeth, glancing across the room, “Have you met Yeonjun hyung before?” 

Your smile drops, “Choi Yeonjun? I mean we have a couple of other classes together and I pass him in the halls sometimes,” you look in the same direction as Soobin, noticing Yeonjun is looking back, “why? Is something wrong?” 

Soobin sighs and looks back at you, “I am very observant and noticed the moment we walked in and he looked at you that…well.” 

You look into Soobin’s eyes, “are you implying he’s interested in me?” 

Soobin shrugged, “he could be. Either that or like I asked if the two of you knew each other beforehand. But he’s been looking at you the entire night.”

You laughed, “Soobin, you’re acting jealous right now.” 

He rolls his eyes, “I barely know you, how could I be jealous?” he shakes his head chuckling, “I just know hyung, and wanted to just give ya a heads up is all.” 

You tilted your head, “That’s really sweet, but you’re not my boyfriend so you don’t need to look after me like that.” 

Soobin rolled his eyes again, “noted.” 

“How about you then? Hmm?” 

He takes a sip, “What about me?” 

“With how you walked in here you must have girls begging for your attention. Do you dress like this outside of school too?” 

He nodded, “I do. That doesn’t mean girls are making passes at me.” 

You glanced around the room and noticed at least two girls blushing over him. 

“There are two girls right over there who would love your attention right now.” 

Soobin looks in the direction you pointed at, then shook his head, then looked back at you, “Not interested.”

“What? Are you nervous or something?” you teased him.

He gives you a confused look, “what would I have to be nervous about?”

“I dunno, maybe you’ve never hooked up with a girl at a party before.” you continued to tease him. 

Soobin raised his brow at you, “You’re making these assumptions as if you know me personally.” 

“Well truth time then, have you ever hooked up with someone before?” 

Soobin’s face turned a shade of pink, looking away from you he answered, “I have.” 

You slapped your hands on your cheeks, “Omg really!? the shy Choi Soobin from class actually pulled girls!?”

He glances at you, “Of course I have. you act like sex is such an uncommon thing for shy people like me.” He finished his cup and tossed it onto the counter, then made direct eye contact with you, “do you not believe me?” 

You shook your head, “Nope.” 

Soobin smirked, chewing on his bottom lips.

You could see the gears in his head turning, “what are you thinking about?” 

“I could prove it to you.” 

You weren’t expecting his response. Your whole body started to tingle, “prove it to me?” you nervously giggled, looking away from him. 

You weren’t expecting the next turn of events to happen either, Soobin had you against the wall, one hand above your head, the other was on your hip, and his body was pressed against yours. 

“I didn’t stutter.” he whispered, connecting his forehead against yours. 

You stared up at him, “where did this confidence come from?” you whispered back. 

“Always been here, I just don’t show it.” 

You could feel the heat radiating from his body. Your knees started to feel weak and your hands trembled at your sides. 

Soobin pressed himself even closer to you, his arm completely wrapping around behind your back, “I’ve honestly been wanting to hook up with you since the moment I met you in class.” 

You bit your lip, his confession turned you on more than you wanted to attempt to yourself. It was so hot seeing this once-shy boy you normally see in class act this sexy. Was it the alcohol? or is he really this confident? Either way, it was killing you.  

“Are you going to kiss me or continue to just look at me?” you asked, testing your own confidence. 

His lips connected with yours, the taste of cherry and alcohol filled your senses from his chapstick and the drink he just finished. You had a better smell of his cologne and oh man it was sending you into a frenzy. 

You were melting against his touch with the way his hands were on your body. His tongue sent chills down your spine every time it brushed against your own. 

You didn’t care that you two were making out in the middle of the kitchen at some random party with many people around. 

All you cared about was him. 

He led you up the stairs and into an empty room, quickly closing and locking the door behind him. 

His hands and lips were back on you in an instant as if those short couple minutes were too long. 

He pulled his shirt over his head, his body leaving you even more breathless. 

You tossed your tank top over your head and somewhere in the room. 

His body was back against yours, the skin-to-skin contact made your head spin. 

Soobin played with the button of your jeans, silently asking for permission. 

You let him, your hands going to the button of his jeans immediately after. 

It’s been so long since you’ve been naked in front of someone and you figured the first time having sex again would make you nervous and hide like a child, but it was different with Soobin. He brought out this confidence in you that you never knew you had. The rest of your clothes came off quickly, and the same did his. 

You could have sworn Soobin’s body was crafted by the gods. He’s so beautiful. 

His hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs slowly gliding over your nipples. You moaned against his mouth. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling you to straddle him. 

Soobin looked you up and down, “You’re so beautiful, every inch of you.” his hands squeezed your hips. 

Your fingers played in his hair, “is this something you want?” you asked. 

Soobin tucks his lip between his teeth, slowly nodding, positioning his member for you, “I will literally lose it if you don’t slide down onto me right now.” he whispered. 

Sex with Soobin was pure bliss. You felt that bliss with every inch of your body as you rode him. His lips and hands never left your body and your hands never left his hair until you both finished. 

You two returned to the party like nothing ever happened. The two girls who were drooling over Soobin earlier seemed to only be even more interested in him now that sex was literally written all over his face. 

You scoff, “Those two still want you.” 

Soobin wrapped his arm around your waist, “Hmm jealous are we?” 

You chuckled, “Of course not. You’re not my boyfriend.”

Soobin laughed with you, “And you’re not my girlfriend.” 

It’s been almost a year since then. 

You and Soobin have had sex multiple times since then, and he still made you lose your breath every single time. 

The two of you grew to even become friends in a way. Or even best friends some would say. The two of you started hanging out outside of the classroom and at parties. He got to know you so well and the same with you towards him. He became someone you didn’t want to have a life without. 

But the feelings you started to build up for him over that year were growing too strong for you to contain. 

Little did you know the feeling was mutual for Soobin. 

He hated it when he knew you were going to parties or anywhere alone. He hated the thought of another man putting his hands on you. The thought of another man kissing you, touching you, making you feel the way only he wants you to feel. And the thought of you dating another man…

Soobin understood how your relationship was: two classmates that had sex and turned into friends who have sex. That’s all it was supposed to be until the night he realized he had feelings and realized he hated any man that looked in your direction. 

You also secretly felt that way about any woman who looked at Soobin. 

The two of you had this secret unspoken thing that you both didn’t want the other to see anyone else. You both just didn’t know it. 

Soobin was running late and was never late. It wasn’t him to be late. 

Tonight’s party was being held on campus for the school winning some kinda sports event. Soobin walked into the courtyard, immediately being met by Huening Kai and Beomgyu. 

“you’re late!” Kai said looking at his watch. 

“Yeah yeah I know,” Soobin sighed, “where are Taehyun and Yeonjun?” 

“Taehyun is with Hanna…” Beomgyu shrugged. 

“Should have known, and Yeonjun?” Soobin asked. 

Kai and Beomgyu went quiet. 

Soobin looked between the both of them, confusion showing on his face. 

“Where is Yeonjun?” Soobin asked again. 

“He’s well…he’s with someone.” Kai said, trying to smile. 

“Okay…?” Soobin raised a brow.

“He’s with—“ Beomgyu started, but Kai quickly covered his mouth. 

“He’s not with anyone! hahaha.” Kai nervously laughed. 

Soobin continued to look between his juniors, still confused about what was even going on between the two of them. 

Until it clicked in his head. 

Soobin quickly moved past them, “where is he?” 

“Soobin Hyung, wait!” They called out for him. 

Soobin knew Yeonjun secretly had a thing for you, it was written all over his face from the beginning. 

Soobin made his way inside the campus and asked people left and right if they’d seen both of you, none knew until someone pointed him in the direction of the gymnasium where they were handing out food, punch, and alcohol. 

He found the both of you standing on the far side of the gym. Yeonjun was standing too close to you for his liking. 

Soobin quickly walked up, wrapping his arm around Yeonjun, “There you guys are! I was looking for you!” 

“You’re late!” You said checking the time on your phone, “Yeonjun and I almost started drinking without you. Where’s everyone else?” 

Soobin shrugged his shoulders, “Huening Kai and Beomgyu were in the courtyard. Apparently Taehyun—“

“Is with Hanna, of course.” you sigh, “I’m happy for them so I’ll let it slide.” You started to walk away, “I’m going to the courtyard and I’ll call Hanna to meet us there.” 

Soobin nodded, “grab me a drink on the way out okay?” he asked you.  

You gave him a thumbs up, walking away. You could tell something was bothering Soobin but didn’t want to press the conversation in front of Yeonjun. 

Once you were out of the gym, Soobin let go of Yeonjun facing him. 

“What is that look for?” Yeonjun asked. 

“It’s nothing. Ready to meet with the others?” Soobin asked, starting to walk away. 

“Hey, is Y/N talking to anyone by chance?” Yeonjun asked. 

Soobin stops walking, “Uhh not that I know of…why?” 

“Because I’m interested in her. She’s your best friend besides me of course, and I think she’s funny and I want to get to know her a little more than I already do.” 

Soobin looked at his hyung, trying everything in him to not shout at him to leave you alone. But he knows he can’t. He’s not your boyfriend. 

“Soobin say something,” Yeonjun said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I uhh…I can ask if she’s talking to someone.” 

“That’s now why I meant.” Yeonjun tried to make eye contact with Soobin, wanting him to tell the truth. 

“What do you mean then?” 

Yeonjun sighs, “What I’m trying to say is, if you’re not going to make a pass at her, I’m going to.” 

Soobin’s heart dropped, and his body filled up with heat, it took everything in him to say what he did next, “I’m not her boyfriend, do whatever you want.” 

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, “I can’t man!” Soobin looked at his hyung confused, “You’re having sex with her and it’s so obvious that the two of you are pining for each other and just won’t say anything. I’m tired of hearing the “She’s not my girlfriend, I’m not her boyfriend” bullshit. I would feel terrible if I went after Y/N, knowing you damn well want her for yourself.” 

Soobin looked away, “We made it clear to each other the first time we hooked up that we weren’t together, it was all about the sex and that’s it.”

“Yeah, and it’s been a year since then man,” Yeonjun walked closer to Soobin, putting his hands on his friends’ shoulders, “I can see it in the way you look at her dude, it’s not just about the sex anymore and with the way you dart across the room when another man looks at her? or how when she notices any other girl looks at you? have you not noticed how jealous she gets? how will she stand closer to you?” 

Soobin shook his head, “She doesn’t want me in that way.” 

Yeonjun nodded, “I still think you need to tell her, and I’m giving you until tomorrow night to say something, or else I’ll try and make a pass to her.” 

Yeonjun patted his back and then finally walked away. 

Soobin knew he was right, it’s time to say something. 

You stood outside their dorm building, the summer breeze felt warm against your skin. 

You checked the time on your phone, Soobin said to meet him here before returning back to the party but he’s once again running late. This isn’t like him. 

You finally catch Soobin walking over towards you but with another girl hooked up on his arm. 

Jealousy filled you. You looked away, shoving your hands into your jeans pockets, trying to shove down the feeling. “he’s not your boyfriend…Y/N…” You repeated the words in your head over and over again. You don’t have a right to be jealous. You’re not his girlfriend.��

“Soobinnie!” oh god you wanted to throw up, “my dorm is across the street there!” 

You glanced over at them, this girl was drunk and clearly trying to get Soobin in her bed. 

Soobin looked at you, and you quickly looked away. 

“Can you make it back there on your own?” He asked. 

You rolled your eyes. You knew how good Soobin was in bed, it shouldn’t surprise you he probably has been in other beds besides yours. 

“I may need some help…” you wanted to barf. 

“Hey,” you shouted, “you clearly aren’t drunk enough to try and get him in your room so you can obviously walk up there alone, okay?” 

Soobin’s eyes widen, he’s never seen you act like that before. 

“Is that your girlfriend or something?” the girl asked, “I knew you were too gorgeous to be single.” 

“He’s single all right,” you mumbled to yourself. 

Soobin sighed, “I can’t go any further with you, I apologize.” 

The girl scoffs but eventually walks away. 

“What was with that attitude?” Soobin asked, giving you a sassy look. 

“She clearly was trying way too hard.” you softly snap, “it was way too obvious.” 

“Are you jealous?” Soobin teased, standing in front of you. 

You rolled your eyes, “no reason to be jealous, you’re not my—“

“Boyfriend, I know,” he said. You looked up at him and noticed the hurt in your eyes, “but maybe I should be.” 

“Wait, what?” you asked. 

Soobin looked away, “I want to be your boyfriend, Y/N. It’s not just about the sex anymore, I want all of you. My heart can’t take it anymore. If I see one more man try to make a pass at you, I’m going to lose it.” 

“Soobin…” you softly said his name. 

“God, I love the way you say my name…but I already know your response to this, that our relationship is strictly sex. We made that agreement a year ago and—“

“Soobin shut up and kiss me right now.” 

He looks deeply into your eyes and all you can see is the spark that lights up his entire being. 

His hands are on the sides of your face in an instant and his lips connected to yours. 

You’ve kissed him millions of times, but never like this. The last kisses have always been filled with lust, want, desire, temptation, and need. But this one was filled with…well, love. 

It was filled with so much love. 

“I’m in love with you, Soobin.” you whispered in between kisses, “and if one more damn woman looks at you with the desire that I have for you, I’ll commit murder.” 

He giggles against your lips, “You’re so cute when you’re jealous.” 

“As your girlfriend, I have a right to be.” 

“And as your boyfriend, I’ll allow you to be.”

You smiled against his lips, “I love you.” 

“I’ve loved you since the moment you let me lead you up those stairs, my heart has been yours since the beginning.”

[lightyagamiis]

not your boyfriend, not your girlfriend

Pairing: reader x soobin Genre: college au!, friends to lovers Warnings: some smut <3 Word Count: 4.1k

you ain't my boyfriend and I ain't your girlfriend but you don't want me to see nobody else and I don't want you to see nobody...

He’s not your boyfriend. You’re not his girlfriend. But the thought of someone else touching you angers him. The thought of another female even looking at him throws you into a spiral. 

Yet there’s nothing either of you can do about it. You two aren’t together after all. 

You lean against the wall twirling the red solo cup in your hand, glancing around the room at the sea of drunk college kids. Watching as they play party games and sing so off-key to the music blasting out of the speakers. 

You take a sip from your drink, debating whether or not to leave right after this cup was empty. Parties weren’t really your thing after all. You only come with your best friend, who ended up ditching you the moment you walked in the door. 

You finished the drink, turning to leave when someone bumps into you. 

“There you were babe!” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, planting a kiss on your forehead, “been looking everywhere for you.” 

You sign, knowing now that you’re trapped. 

“Come on, babe don’t look so disappointed to see me.” 

“I was fixing to leave, Soobin.” you scoffed, finally breaking free from his arms. 

His dimple smile melts your heart, sending tingles down your spine, “I noticed you seemed like you wanted to leave,” he said looking down at your empty cup, “but the guy standing by the window was giving you a look and decided to step in to protect you.” 

You raised your brow at him, “Protect me? Soobin?”

He nodded, “Of course. Mans looks like a whole dick and a half.” 

You chuckle, dropping your head into your palm, “Probably because he HAS a dick, Choi Soobin.” 

Soobin tucks his bottom lip between his teeth. He wants to shout at you his feelings so you could finally understand why he’s so protective over you. 

Soobin grabs your empty cup and sets it against the counter then places his hands on your shoulders, softly pressing you against the wall. 

You look up at him, seeing the want in his eyes. Your whole body heats up. 

“Just spend some extra time with me, ya? Before you decide to head out?” He whispered. 

How quickly you nodded your head in agreement should scare you, you didn’t want him to know how badly you wanted him. He’s not your boyfriend, after all. 

Soobin smirks, sliding his hands down to your hands. Pulling you away from the wall and leading you up the stairs in this dance you’ve both done many times before. 

It started out like this. 

Two lonely people at a party were ditched by their friends and had nothing else better to do than each other. 

You knew who he was. He sat two rows behind you in class. He was quiet, and only spoke to his friends he had in class. Was five minutes early every day and for the most part kept to himself unless spoken to by the professor or another classmate. 

It surprised you when he first walked into the party. Barely even recognized him. He went from this innocent boy who hid his face with his hair, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie to class, into this sexy man in tight light blue skinny jeans with holes in them, Nike air forces, and a long sleeve black shirt with his hair parted. 

If you didn’t know him from before, you would assume he was one of the popular party boys all the girls drool over. 

And damn, he was catching looks from the girls at the party. 

Your best friend looped her arm with yours, “Earth to Y/N!! Did you hear me?”

You snapped your eyes away from Choi Soobin, giving your best friend your full attention, “I’m sorry I was daydreaming, what did you say?” 

She side-eyes the area you were just staring at, “were you looking at Soobin?” 

You blink at her, “You know him? And calling him by his first name?” 

She smiles brightly, “Yep! we have chem lab together and I’m SOOOO into one of his friends.”

You nodded at her, “I should’ve known,” You looked back over in Soobin’s direction, noticing his dog pack behind him, “which one are you here for?” you asked her. 

She giggles and squeezes your arm tighter, “Taehyun! We met at the campus coffee shop and totally hit it off right away!” 

You nodded again, “I’m sure you did.” 

“We did! And he told me about this party tonight.” 

“Is that why you canceled our stay indoors and watch horror movies best friend date and dragged me to this party instead? To hook up with Kang Taehyun?” you raised a brow at her. 

“When you put it that way you make me seem like a bad guy,” she pouted at you, “plus he told me his friends would be coming with him, sooooo I figured you could ya know.” she nudged your arm. 

You scoff at her, “Nope! absolutely not. I’m going home!” 

“Y/N! Please, you need to get out there!”

Before you could protest, Soobin and his four friends were right beside you guys. 

“Wow you made it Hanna,” Taehyun says basically stealing my best friend from me, “who's this?” he asked giving me a small smile. 

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” 

Taehyung nodded, “Nice to put a face to the name. Hanna talks about you all the time.” 

You glance over at her. She gives you her normal apologetic smile. 

“Anyways how rude, these are my best friends, Choi Yeonjun, Huening kai, Choi Beomgyu and that’s—“

“Choi Soobin.” you said, giving all five of them a small smile. 

The boys all looked at Soobin, waiting for an explanation.

“W-we have a class together.” Soobin says, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

After that awkward conversation, you slowly walked away to grab yourself a drink, because god knows you need it now. 

“Grab me a drink too please!” Hanna calls after you.

When you returned to the same spot the six of them were, only Soobin remained. 

You shook your head, “where did they go?” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “Your guess is as good as mine.” He folded his arms against his chest and leaned against the wall. 

You stood beside him, “well you can have this I guess.” you said, handing him the cup. 

“I didn’t picture you as a partygoer, Y/N.” Soobin softly smiles while taking a sip of the drink. 

“You neither, you completely look different than you do in class.” 

He chuckles, “Yeah I don’t really try for college. No need to impress anyone. Go in, get your education, get out, and go back home.” 

“Then why are you here tonight?” you asked. 

He glances at you, “Everyone else was coming, and Yeonjun Hyung basically pulled me by my ear out of the dorm.” 

You nodded with a sigh, “Hanna basically did the same to me.” 

“Guess we’re in this together then.” Soobin held out his cup towards you in a way of cheers. 

You mimicked the action, then you both chugged down the drinks. 

You don’t remember much of the conversations after that. Just that you both continued to drink and drink. 

“Okay okay, truth time.” Soobin drunkenly giggles. 

“What is this? Truth or dare? Are we five?” you giggle back at him. 

“Never too old for it,” he defends, “anyways truth.”

“Okay, I’m listening.” You smile, taking another sip of your drink.

Soobin tucks his lip between his teeth, glancing across the room, “Have you met Yeonjun hyung before?” 

Your smile drops, “Choi Yeonjun? I mean we have a couple of other classes together and I pass him in the halls sometimes,” you look in the same direction as Soobin, noticing Yeonjun is looking back, “why? Is something wrong?” 

Soobin sighs and looks back at you, “I am very observant and noticed the moment we walked in and he looked at you that…well.” 

You look into Soobin’s eyes, “are you implying he’s interested in me?” 

Soobin shrugged, “he could be. Either that or like I asked if the two of you knew each other beforehand. But he’s been looking at you the entire night.”

You laughed, “Soobin, you’re acting jealous right now.” 

He rolls his eyes, “I barely know you, how could I be jealous?” he shakes his head chuckling, “I just know hyung, and wanted to just give ya a heads up is all.” 

You tilted your head, “That’s really sweet, but you’re not my boyfriend so you don’t need to look after me like that.” 

Soobin rolled his eyes again, “noted.” 

“How about you then? Hmm?” 

He takes a sip, “What about me?” 

“With how you walked in here you must have girls begging for your attention. Do you dress like this outside of school too?” 

He nodded, “I do. That doesn’t mean girls are making passes at me.” 

You glanced around the room and noticed at least two girls blushing over him. 

“There are two girls right over there who would love your attention right now.” 

Soobin looks in the direction you pointed at, then shook his head, then looked back at you, “Not interested.”

“What? Are you nervous or something?” you teased him.

He gives you a confused look, “what would I have to be nervous about?”

“I dunno, maybe you’ve never hooked up with a girl at a party before.” you continued to tease him. 

Soobin raised his brow at you, “You’re making these assumptions as if you know me personally.” 

“Well truth time then, have you ever hooked up with someone before?” 

Soobin’s face turned a shade of pink, looking away from you he answered, “I have.” 

You slapped your hands on your cheeks, “Omg really!? the shy Choi Soobin from class actually pulled girls!?”

He glances at you, “Of course I have. you act like sex is such an uncommon thing for shy people like me.” He finished his cup and tossed it onto the counter, then made direct eye contact with you, “do you not believe me?” 

You shook your head, “Nope.” 

Soobin smirked, chewing on his bottom lips.

You could see the gears in his head turning, “what are you thinking about?” 

“I could prove it to you.” 

You weren’t expecting his response. Your whole body started to tingle, “prove it to me?” you nervously giggled, looking away from him. 

You weren’t expecting the next turn of events to happen either, Soobin had you against the wall, one hand above your head, the other was on your hip, and his body was pressed against yours. 

“I didn’t stutter.” he whispered, connecting his forehead against yours. 

You stared up at him, “where did this confidence come from?” you whispered back. 

“Always been here, I just don’t show it.” 

You could feel the heat radiating from his body. Your knees started to feel weak and your hands trembled at your sides. 

Soobin pressed himself even closer to you, his arm completely wrapping around behind your back, “I’ve honestly been wanting to hook up with you since the moment I met you in class.” 

You bit your lip, his confession turned you on more than you wanted to attempt to yourself. It was so hot seeing this once-shy boy you normally see in class act this sexy. Was it the alcohol? or is he really this confident? Either way, it was killing you.  

“Are you going to kiss me or continue to just look at me?” you asked, testing your own confidence. 

His lips connected with yours, the taste of cherry and alcohol filled your senses from his chapstick and the drink he just finished. You had a better smell of his cologne and oh man it was sending you into a frenzy. 

You were melting against his touch with the way his hands were on your body. His tongue sent chills down your spine every time it brushed against your own. 

You didn’t care that you two were making out in the middle of the kitchen at some random party with many people around. 

All you cared about was him. 

He led you up the stairs and into an empty room, quickly closing and locking the door behind him. 

His hands and lips were back on you in an instant as if those short couple minutes were too long. 

He pulled his shirt over his head, his body leaving you even more breathless. 

You tossed your tank top over your head and somewhere in the room. 

His body was back against yours, the skin-to-skin contact made your head spin. 

Soobin played with the button of your jeans, silently asking for permission. 

You let him, your hands going to the button of his jeans immediately after. 

It’s been so long since you’ve been naked in front of someone and you figured the first time having sex again would make you nervous and hide like a child, but it was different with Soobin. He brought out this confidence in you that you never knew you had. The rest of your clothes came off quickly, and the same did his. 

You could have sworn Soobin’s body was crafted by the gods. He’s so beautiful. 

His hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs slowly gliding over your nipples. You moaned against his mouth. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling you to straddle him. 

Soobin looked you up and down, “You’re so beautiful, every inch of you.” his hands squeezed your hips. 

Your fingers played in his hair, “is this something you want?” you asked. 

Soobin tucks his lip between his teeth, slowly nodding, positioning his member for you, “I will literally lose it if you don’t slide down onto me right now.” he whispered. 

Sex with Soobin was pure bliss. You felt that bliss with every inch of your body as you rode him. His lips and hands never left your body and your hands never left his hair until you both finished. 

You two returned to the party like nothing ever happened. The two girls who were drooling over Soobin earlier seemed to only be even more interested in him now that sex was literally written all over his face. 

You scoff, “Those two still want you.” 

Soobin wrapped his arm around your waist, “Hmm jealous are we?” 

You chuckled, “Of course not. You're not my boyfriend.”

Soobin laughed with you, “And you’re not my girlfriend.” 

It’s been almost a year since then. 

You and Soobin have had sex multiple times since then, and he still made you lose your breath every single time. 

The two of you grew to even become friends in a way. Or even best friends some would say. The two of you started hanging out outside of the classroom and at parties. He got to know you so well and the same with you towards him. He became someone you didn’t want to have a life without. 

But the feelings you started to build up for him over that year were growing too strong for you to contain. 

Little did you know the feeling was mutual for Soobin. 

He hated it when he knew you were going to parties or anywhere alone. He hated the thought of another man putting his hands on you. The thought of another man kissing you, touching you, making you feel the way only he wants you to feel. And the thought of you dating another man…

Soobin understood how your relationship was: two classmates that had sex and turned into friends who have sex. That’s all it was supposed to be until the night he realized he had feelings and realized he hated any man that looked in your direction. 

You also secretly felt that way about any woman who looked at Soobin. 

The two of you had this secret unspoken thing that you both didn’t want the other to see anyone else. You both just didn’t know it. 

Soobin was running late and was never late. It wasn’t him to be late. 

Tonight’s party was being held on campus for the school winning some kinda sports event. Soobin walked into the courtyard, immediately being met by Huening Kai and Beomgyu. 

“you’re late!” Kai said looking at his watch. 

“Yeah yeah I know,” Soobin sighed, “where are Taehyun and Yeonjun?” 

“Taehyun is with Hanna…” Beomgyu shrugged. 

“Should have known, and Yeonjun?” Soobin asked. 

Kai and Beomgyu went quiet. 

Soobin looked between the both of them, confusion showing on his face. 

“Where is Yeonjun?” Soobin asked again. 

“He’s well…he’s with someone.” Kai said, trying to smile. 

“Okay…?” Soobin raised a brow.

“He’s with—“ Beomgyu started, but Kai quickly covered his mouth. 

“He’s not with anyone! hahaha.” Kai nervously laughed. 

Soobin continued to look between his juniors, still confused about what was even going on between the two of them. 

Until it clicked in his head. 

Soobin quickly moved past them, “where is he?” 

“Soobin Hyung, wait!” They called out for him. 

Soobin knew Yeonjun secretly had a thing for you, it was written all over his face from the beginning. 

Soobin made his way inside the campus and asked people left and right if they’d seen both of you, none knew until someone pointed him in the direction of the gymnasium where they were handing out food, punch, and alcohol. 

He found the both of you standing on the far side of the gym. Yeonjun was standing too close to you for his liking. 

Soobin quickly walked up, wrapping his arm around Yeonjun, “There you guys are! I was looking for you!” 

“You’re late!” You said checking the time on your phone, “Yeonjun and I almost started drinking without you. Where’s everyone else?” 

Soobin shrugged his shoulders, “Huening Kai and Beomgyu were in the courtyard. Apparently Taehyun—“

“Is with Hanna, of course.” you sigh, “I’m happy for them so I’ll let it slide.” You started to walk away, “I’m going to the courtyard and I’ll call Hanna to meet us there.” 

Soobin nodded, “grab me a drink on the way out okay?” he asked you.  

You gave him a thumbs up, walking away. You could tell something was bothering Soobin but didn’t want to press the conversation in front of Yeonjun. 

Once you were out of the gym, Soobin let go of Yeonjun facing him. 

“What is that look for?” Yeonjun asked. 

“It’s nothing. Ready to meet with the others?” Soobin asked, starting to walk away. 

“Hey, is Y/N talking to anyone by chance?” Yeonjun asked. 

Soobin stops walking, “Uhh not that I know of…why?” 

“Because I'm interested in her. She’s your best friend besides me of course, and I think she’s funny and I want to get to know her a little more than I already do.” 

Soobin looked at his hyung, trying everything in him to not shout at him to leave you alone. But he knows he can’t. He’s not your boyfriend. 

“Soobin say something,” Yeonjun said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I uhh…I can ask if she’s talking to someone.” 

“That’s now why I meant.” Yeonjun tried to make eye contact with Soobin, wanting him to tell the truth. 

“What do you mean then?” 

Yeonjun sighs, “What I'm trying to say is, if you’re not going to make a pass at her, I'm going to.” 

Soobin’s heart dropped, and his body filled up with heat, it took everything in him to say what he did next, “I’m not her boyfriend, do whatever you want.” 

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, “I can’t man!” Soobin looked at his hyung confused, “You’re having sex with her and it’s so obvious that the two of you are pining for each other and just won’t say anything. I’m tired of hearing the “She’s not my girlfriend, I’m not her boyfriend” bullshit. I would feel terrible if I went after Y/N, knowing you damn well want her for yourself.” 

Soobin looked away, “We made it clear to each other the first time we hooked up that we weren’t together, it was all about the sex and that’s it.”

“Yeah, and it’s been a year since then man,” Yeonjun walked closer to Soobin, putting his hands on his friends' shoulders, “I can see it in the way you look at her dude, it’s not just about the sex anymore and with the way you dart across the room when another man looks at her? or how when she notices any other girl looks at you? have you not noticed how jealous she gets? how will she stand closer to you?” 

Soobin shook his head, “She doesn’t want me in that way.” 

Yeonjun nodded, “I still think you need to tell her, and I’m giving you until tomorrow night to say something, or else I’ll try and make a pass to her.” 

Yeonjun patted his back and then finally walked away. 

Soobin knew he was right, it’s time to say something. 

You stood outside their dorm building, the summer breeze felt warm against your skin. 

You checked the time on your phone, Soobin said to meet him here before returning back to the party but he’s once again running late. This isn’t like him. 

You finally catch Soobin walking over towards you but with another girl hooked up on his arm. 

Jealousy filled you. You looked away, shoving your hands into your jeans pockets, trying to shove down the feeling. “he’s not your boyfriend…Y/N…” You repeated the words in your head over and over again. You don’t have a right to be jealous. You’re not his girlfriend. 

“Soobinnie!” oh god you wanted to throw up, “my dorm is across the street there!” 

You glanced over at them, this girl was drunk and clearly trying to get Soobin in her bed. 

Soobin looked at you, and you quickly looked away. 

“Can you make it back there on your own?” He asked. 

You rolled your eyes. You knew how good Soobin was in bed, it shouldn’t surprise you he probably has been in other beds besides yours. 

“I may need some help…” you wanted to barf. 

“Hey,” you shouted, “you clearly aren’t drunk enough to try and get him in your room so you can obviously walk up there alone, okay?” 

Soobin’s eyes widen, he’s never seen you act like that before. 

“Is that your girlfriend or something?” the girl asked, “I knew you were too gorgeous to be single.” 

“He's single all right,” you mumbled to yourself. 

Soobin sighed, “I can’t go any further with you, I apologize.” 

The girl scoffs but eventually walks away. 

“What was with that attitude?” Soobin asked, giving you a sassy look. 

“She clearly was trying way too hard.” you softly snap, “it was way too obvious.” 

“Are you jealous?” Soobin teased, standing in front of you. 

You rolled your eyes, “no reason to be jealous, you’re not my—“

“Boyfriend, I know,” he said. You looked up at him and noticed the hurt in your eyes, “but maybe I should be.” 

“Wait, what?” you asked. 

Soobin looked away, “I want to be your boyfriend, Y/N. It’s not just about the sex anymore, I want all of you. My heart can’t take it anymore. If I see one more man try to make a pass at you, I'm going to lose it.” 

“Soobin…” you softly said his name. 

“God, I love the way you say my name…but I already know your response to this, that our relationship is strictly sex. We made that agreement a year ago and—“

“Soobin shut up and kiss me right now.” 

He looks deeply into your eyes and all you can see is the spark that lights up his entire being. 

His hands are on the sides of your face in an instant and his lips connected to yours. 

You’ve kissed him millions of times, but never like this. The last kisses have always been filled with lust, want, desire, temptation, and need. But this one was filled with…well, love. 

It was filled with so much love. 

“I’m in love with you, Soobin.” you whispered in between kisses, “and if one more damn woman looks at you with the desire that I have for you, I’ll commit murder.” 

He giggles against your lips, “You’re so cute when you’re jealous.” 

“As your girlfriend, I have a right to be.” 

“And as your boyfriend, I’ll allow you to be.”

You smiled against his lips, “I love you.” 

“I’ve loved you since the moment you let me lead you up those stairs, my heart has been yours since the beginning.”

[mjoffic]

red velvet cake - bf!eddie munson x fem!reader x brother!steve harrington

Summary: Your relationship continues to blossom with Eddie, however your older brother Steve isn’t the biggest fan and lines are tested

Warnings: swearing, smoking, tense situations, angst, fight fight fight, let me know if I miss anything!

Word count: 5.3k

a/n: Hey, all! Welcome to my first official post! If you enjoy, please like, reblog, etc! This was just a lil blurb, but I have other things in the works, so I’m hoping this goes well and I can continue to share with you all!

               “I need you and your big hair to calm down.”

           Your brother looked to you quickly from the bathroom mirror, his face scrunched up at your comment.  “My hair is not big.”

           “You say that and yet you’ve gone through your second can of hair spray this month,” you retorted, grabbing the can quickly in your hand.

           Steve snatched for it but you held it behind you, ceasing any attempt of him grabbing it.  He sighed with a comb still lodged in his brown tuffs and leaned back against the counter.  Another disagreement between the two of you.  Nothing was new seeing as that was the typical way a brother and sister relationship stemmed.  From the time you were born, only a short year after Steve, you were at each other’s throats constantly and could never come to an agreement on anything.  Steve would steal your favorite toy that day from the toybox, so you’d steal the TV remote and sit on it to his disdain when your parents allowed you both to pick the nightly movie after dinner.  You’d spread gossip in the middle school of your older brothers crush on Tammy Thompson (before the singing career), and somehow most girls still believed in cooties, so he’d steal your clothes from your locker before gym class was over.  Today’s topic of conversation once again revisited your current dating life and now you were stealing his most prized possession.  This was the never ending, vicious, and annoying cycle only those who had a sibling could understand at the end of the day.

           “I really don’t see what the big deal is,” you said, crossing your arms.  “Eddie and I have been seeing each other for almost a year now and you still refuse to hang out with him.”

           “Yeah, it’s Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson.  He runs that club Dustin and Mike are in, huge nerd, and he’s in a band that plays at the Hideout” he grumbled.  “Also, he’s way older than you.”

           “He’s twenty, Steve.  It’s not like I’m a kid anymore,” you replied.  “Also, he’s a senior.  I’m a senior.  And Hellfire is actually really cool if you’d take up the invites I’ve extended.”

           Steve shook his head, wagging his finger.  “No, no, you’re a senior.  This is his third time being a senior.”

           “And he’s gonna graduate!  He finally has a C in Mrs. O’Donnell’s!”

           “It’s still weird.  And just because you date him doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

           A groan escaped you and your arms dropped from their defensive position.  “But the least you could do is be civil with him.  I can’t bring him over because you make everything so uncomfortable, and now with Nancy’s party coming I’d just like the two of you to get along for once!”

           Steve looked to you after your minor outburst and his eyes traveled your face.  He couldn’t help but be a little annoyed by you but he hated that in a sense, you were right.  He’d only based his opinions on Eddie off of what he knew from when he went to Hawkins High and what he heard around town.  You’d always dealt with his on and off again flings that never worked out and continued to accept each one as they came through the door so why couldn’t he do the same for you?  It might be the older sibling in him screaming at him to watch out for his baby sister but you were getting older and dating was just naturally right behind.  The thought ran a chill down Steve’s spine.

           “Fine,” he sighed, standing straight.  “I’ll…  I’ll try. Just this once.  But I’m not going to the board game nights, though.”

           You squealed and the jump that came with it shocked your brother.  You could get past his comments this once.  “Thank you, thank you!  Oh, Steve, I could hug you!”  You made a face realizing what just came out of your mouth and you shook your head.  “But I won’t.  Gross.  Here’s your even grosser hairspray, I have to go call Eddie!”

           You shoved the can back in his hand and spun on your heels, now ready to face your boyfriend and his dislike for Steve.  Steve, however, felt a small smile creep up on his face at your antics.  His head snapped up at ‘hairspray’ and he groaned.

           “It’s not just hair spray!” he yelled after you, before looking to himself in the mirror.  “It’s Farrah Fawcett spray.”

                                            ●          ●          ●          ●

             Eddie had come to pick you up for your nightly drive together as soon as you had called, and you couldn’t help the excitement that buzzed in you.  He took note of this and turned down the head pounding sounds of Motley to focus in as soon as you had climbed in the passenger seat.  “What’s got you riled up, sweetheart?  Missed me that much?”

           You smirked, looking to the doe eyed boy. “You’re so full of it, Eds.”

           He tossed his hand to his heart, making those big eyes of his twinkle in the light of the dashboard.  “Only full of my love for you.”

           You couldn’t help the laugh that bustled out and Eddie soon joined in, his hand now grabbing yours in his.  He squeezed gently and you squeezed back, the cold of his rings sending goosebumps up your arm.  “Now come on, spill.  You sounded way too excited on the phone.”

You nodded.  “While yes, I definitely missed you, I talked to Steve today about Nancy’s party.”

           His hand lost a little grip to yours and you looked to him quickly, the smile on his face slowly disappearing and you frowned in response.  “Eddie, it was a good conversation.  He didn’t even say much in the negative category.”

           “Much?” Eddie scoffed.  “So I’m guessing we’re gonna talk about it.”

           “Well, yeah.  I mean, I would just really like you both to get along,” you shrugged.  

           Eddie made a face.

           “For one night.”

           An eyebrow raised as he looked at you.            “For me.”

           That was it.  Right there.  Eddie was caught.  How could he say no to you?  Your relationship had been nothing but perfect, and there was a happy balance of entertaining each others interests.  You’d attend Hellfire meetings with him and watch Corroded Coffin practice, he’d come to your piano recitals and help you finish your notes for book club.  You’d share musical interests with each other and watch every movie under the sun, and you’d both agree Sixteen Candles would never been an option.  His Uncle Wayne had taken an immense liking to you as soon as you and Eddie became friends, he’d even tag along to your piano recitals sometimes when work didn’t have him in a chokehold.  

           “I know you two have never really liked each other, but you’re my boyfriend, he’s my brother.  At the end of the day I don’t want to have to pick between the two of you, and Steve has agreed to set aside all of it for the party.  I just want you to be in the same boat.”

           “Is it just one night?” Eddie questioned, his eyes searching yours.

           “If I can get one night of civil between you two, I can die happy,” you smiled softly.  “And besides, it’ll be fun.  Everyone will be there, the kids, Nancy, Robin, Jonathon, and I’m making your favorite.”

           “Stop,” he gasped, the twinkle coming back and he grinned. “Please tell me it’s your red velvet cake.”

           “With the homemade icing,” you nodded, watching him throw the theatrics back on and he fanned himself.  “Mrs. Wheeler has been asking for the recipe since I made it at Holly’s birthday last year, figured the party would be a good time to make it.”

           “It’s always a good time for anything you cook,” Eddie praised, making you shift in your seat.  “Now I’m really looking forward to this party.”

           “Well,” you sighed, adjusting yourself in your seat and turning your full body towards him.  “I know something that might help the wait.”

           He noticed the change in your tone and his eyes didn’t lose the glimmer, just a different glimmer now displayed and he double checked the gear and threw it in park, having turned into the high school parking lot. “Oh?  Did you make something else for me?”

           “I brought only the best for you,” you smiled, leaning up and across the console separating you.  

           Eddie bit his lower lip and his hand grabbed lightly at your face.  “Show me, princess.”

           Immediately obliging, you pressed your lips to his and he quickly pulled you over the console, resting in his lap.  He seemed to take all of this better than Steve. Maybe the party would work out in your favor, hell, maybe they could even be friends by the end of it? Maybe?  Right?

                                           ●          ●          ●          ●

             “I think it’s nice you’re setting aside your differences for your sister,” Nancy said, pouring a bag of chips into a large serving bowl.  Robin and Steve were helping her with last minute food prep as they awaited everyone to arrive.  Pizza was already there, sodas were in the cooler, Robin even brought movies from Family Video and Steve dug out the old board games your parents had stored away.

           “It’s just for tonight,” Steve retorted, grabbing a Coke and quickly opening it.  He could feel his usual nerves heightened with the agreement between you and him. He’d never admit it, but having his little sister genuinely involved with someone was a huge thing for him (but also it being Eddie didn’t exactly please him either).  “I told her I’d try for tonight.”

           “Why don’t you, I dunno, try everyday?” Robin said, raising an eyebrow.  “You’re missing out on future brother in law bonding time.”

           Steve winced, groaning out and waved his hands. “No, no, no, don’t say that.  You don’t know that.”

           “Ah, but you don’t know either,” the short haired fiend quipped and shrugged.  “Also it wouldn’t kill you to maybe get to know Eddie and form your own opinion. He’s sat with us at lunch a few times, he’s not so bad.”

           Steve looked to Nancy, his face stressed.  “Can you believe this?”

           Nancy pursed her lips, finishing up last touches. “I don’t think it’s honestly a big deal.”

           “What?  You agree?” Steve said.  “You’ve seen Munson and-“

           “And,” Nancy interrupted.  “-nothing.  I don’t have an opinion on Eddie because I don’t know him that well.”

           Robin gestured in support, throwing her arms out in front of her.  “See?”

           “Well he doesn’t make the effort either,” Steve defended.  “So why should I?”

           “One of you has to, or you both have the chance of losing y/n,” Nancy responded, raising her eyebrow at him.  “It takes effort from both of you.”

           “But-“

           The sound of shouting and laughing came from the front room and Nancy looked at him once more.  “Behave.”

           Steve sighed as the kids piled in the kitchen, scurrying over each other and grabbing what their hands could before Nancy shooed them.  “We have more people coming, guys, come on!”

           Jonathon followed in, shouting after Will and Dustin as they brushed past him into the living room.  He smiled kindly to Steve and soon took to the tension that radiated from the older boy.  “You alright?”

           Steve nodded, taking a quick drink of his Coke. “Yeah, just being scolded by women. Again.”

           Jonathon laughed briefly before Steve spoke up once more.  “Is my sister here yet?”

           “Uh, I think her and Eddie weren’t too far down the road,” he replied.  “I passed them on the way here.”

“Good, good,” he nodded. “Great, wonderful, terrific.”

           Steve continued on a tangent of positive words and Jonathon glanced between the two girls, pointing to Steve with an eyebrow raised.  Nancy rolled her eyes and shook her head.  Robin shrugged, sipping exceptionally loud on her drink.  Jonathon made a face at both of them and could only anticipate what to expect going into tonights events.

           The same thought had been crossing Eddie’s mind all day. He knew that despite how he felt, he needed to try his best for you.  That meant setting aside how he felt about your brother, how Steve made him feel all those years in school, every single time Steve laid the ‘freak’ bit on thick – Eddie was preparing himself to leave it all at the door as soon as you arrived to the party.  He could only hope Steve was on the same page and tonight would move rather seamlessly.  If all went according to plan, maybe they could continue hating each other again bright and early tomorrow morning.

           “Whoa!” you yelped, almost bumping into Eddie who had stopped in front of you.  The cake in your hands was fragile cargo and you swerved, saving it from meeting it’s demise with the pavement.  “Jeez, Eds, if you want any of this cake I would appreciate if you kept both feet moving or a heads up would be greatly appreciated.”

           He turned abruptly and made a face, scratching the back of his head.  “Um, yeah, sorry, sweetheart.  Just lost in thought."

           You couldn’t help but smile softly at him.  His nerves were on full display and you knew Steve was most likely in the same boat.  You’d do whatever you could to ease both of the boys tensions, to prevent anything from escalating, and you hoped they both knew you were on their sides and not against them.  It would be beneficial not just for you but the group, too, if there was common ground and structure and not the constant state of tension so thick, of awkward conversations, of debating if it should be both Steve and Eddie invited or one or the other.  Not only was it hard for you, but your friends who were also in the same predicament you were with two of the group members holding it out for one another.

           “It’s gonna be fine, Eds,” you said as you stepped up the small step to the door.  “Deep breaths, like I taught you.”

           He snorted, pushing the door open for you.  “Aye, aye, captain.”

           The eye roll that followed had Eddie pinching at your hips, causing you to yelp and laugh, trying to escape the attack.  “Eddie, stop!  I have a cake in-“

           Your back met with a firm surface and you gasped, hands gripping the dish even tighter.  You wobbled slightly, your feet finding an uneven surface and hands gripped your arms to keep you from tripping even further.  The eyes of Steve looked back at yours when you glanced back and you sighed, standing straighter after regaining your footing.  “I almost dropped the cake, Steve.”

           “Maybe Eddie shouldn’t goof off as much, then,” he stated plainly, removing his hands and making eye contact with Eddie who had set his lips in a fine, tight line at the statement.

           “Come on, Steve,” Nancy quipped, stepping in the room. “He was just being a little silly, that’s all.  Y/n, Eddie, there’s food and drinks in the kitchen!  Come on, I’ll help you get that cake in a safer spot.”

           You smiled to Nancy, looking back at Eddie and raised an eyebrow.  He shook his head and held up his pack of cigarettes, slipping past the three of you and towards the back doors.  A frown soon replaced the former smile and you slipped pass Steve into the kitchen. Nancy gave him a stern look and hustled behind you.  This would be a long night.

                                         ●          ●          ●          ●

             Eddie had rejoined the festivities shortly after his two cigarettes, his nerves only escalating at Steve and his comment.  Right off the bat, he had thought, he just had to jump into an accusatory stance.  He bit his tongue in your defense, but how long could he keep that up?  Jonathon and him had gotten into conversation you had overheard, and watched quietly from a distance.  Nancy and Robin chitchatted next to you, and the kids were already causing Steve’s inner mother to kick in.  Lucas and Mike were tossing a ball back and forth in the living room, Dustin and Will had turned on their favorite radio station and were singing much off tune to Madonna (much to everyone’s surprised enjoyment, even Eddie who only ever consumed that of every heavy 80’s metal or hairband), and Max and El were currently in a contest of who could crush a soda can the fastest: Max against her forehead, or El with her actually head?  Steve was in the current stages of trying to prevent possible brain damage, to both.  Erica was continuously bugging you for a slice of cake, to which you turned her down everytime.

           “Nerd,” she’d grumble.

           “Don’t you agree?” Robin asked, bumping her hip into yours and you quickly looked to her, eyebrows raised.  You waited and she glanced to Nancy, then back.  “Have you really not been listening?  Babes, this is the impending doom of the possibility of not getting new band uniforms.”

           “Oh, no,” you breathed, the end of ‘no’ hitching slightly in question and you couldn’t help the giggle that followed when Robin groaned.  Nancy joined in the laughter and Robin threw her hands up in exasperation.  

           “Fine!  I’ll go complain to Steve!”

           “That might be good, actually,” you suggested, watching Steve stumble by with Dustin on his back and attempting to smack his hands away. “Looks like he could use the help.”

           “Dustin!  Dustin, Steve is not a piñata!” Robin hollered, following after them as you and Nancy watched in amusement.

           “So,” Nancy started in, refilling your cups and returning her gaze to the events taking place in the room next to you.  “They haven’t fought.”

           “Ssh!” you snapped quickly, looking to her.  “Nance, you’ll jinx it!  This is the most I’ve seen them not go at each other, even if they are just keeping to themselves.  It’s a start and I’d like to keep it that way.”

           “How long do you think it’ll keep up, though?” she asked honestly.  When you frowned at her question she set a hand on your arm.  “I want you happy, you’re my friend.  Knowing those two bone heads, though, I just worry they’ll drop the façade when you aren’t looking.”

           Your frown creased even further into your face.  “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Nance.  It’s my brother and my boyfriend.  I love them both, but I don’t wanna lose either of them.”

           “I know,” Nancy sighed, before perking up.  “What if-“

           “Watch it!” Steve shouted, and all eyes directed into the living room.  

           Eddie dusted Dustin’s shoulders off, before looking to Steve.  “You almost crashed the kid into the bookshelf, man, you should be the one watchin’ it.”

           Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes.  “Like earlier when you nearly pummeled my sister into the ground?”

           “Goddammit, Nancy,” you mumbled before stepping up a ways. “Steve, it was-“

           His eyes cast to you and he scoffed.  “An accident?  Like anytime y’all horse around?”

           “Hey,” Eddie snapped, stepping up to your side. “I’ve never laid a hand on her like that.”

           “Like what?” Steve retorted.

           “You know exactly what you mean,” Eddie said.

           Jonathon stepped up now, followed by Dustin.  “Come on, guys, everyone just caught up in the moment.  Everyone’s good.”

           Steve shook his head.  “I’ll be good when he’s gone.”

           “Steve!” Nancy said, shaking her head.

           “Like hell!” Eddie laughed.  “I was invited!”

           You sat a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, looking to him. “Eddie, calm down.”

           “Fine!  Then I’ll go!” Steve said, and he looked to you.  “Come on, Y/N, we’re leaving.”

           Everyone stared, Robin trying to talk quietly to Steve who was having none of it.  Nancy looked to Jonathon with a worried expression and the kids clamored to the other side of the room, just watching.  You stared at your brother in disbelief and shook your head.  “Steve, we just all need a break, please!  Let’s just all breathe a second!”

           “We can breathe at home.”

           Steve stepped up and grabbed your arm, causing Eddie to grab the other.  You squeaked at the force of the two boys, looking to Nancy with wide eyes.  They had never escalated to protectiveness with you involving each other in the same moment, it had never gotten this heated before and the worry crept in the pit of your stomach, causing bile to slowly rise in the back of your throat.  You swallowed it down, the panic on your face evident and Nancy immediately jumped in.

           “Boys!” Nancy yelled, grabbing onto Steve and Jonathon grabbing Eddie.

           “Come on, guys, this is stupid,” Jonathon added and patted Eddie on his back.

           “She doesn’t wanna go,” Eddie snarled, staring Steve right in the face.

           “I’m her brother, older might I add, so what I say goes,” Steve responded, Nancy tugging on his belt loop.

           “Guys, please stop!” you cried, wiggling in their grips.  “You said you’d try!  Just break it up!”

           Dustin and Max came up, prying the older boys grips and Robin stepped up to pull you aside, her arm slipping around your shoulders. Eddie shook his head, chuckling to himself and turned away from Steve which caused Jonathon to loosen his grip. Nancy kept a petite finger interloped in Steve’s belt loop for safe keeping.  

           “Steve, why don’t we go outside for a minute?”  Nancy mumbled, tugging lightly.

           Steve broke his gaze on Eddie, wiping a hand down his face. He nodded slowly and turned towards her. “Yeah… yeah anything to get away from that freak.”

           The words slipped out without a second thought. Steve froze, as did everyone else, and eyes landed on Eddie.  The panic that set in was worse than the first time and you pulled away from Robin, going to Eddie immediately.  As soon as the words were out, Eddie’s shoulders tightened and his back went straight. Jonathon could see his face and he watched every emotion cross over it – shock, realization, anger, guilt, sadness, absolute rage.  Eddie couldn’t register who was near him and his hearing went into a high frequency pitch.  His eyes darkened and the only thing you felt was the shove, a rush of air, and your back hitting the counter of the island.  “Eddie, no!”

           Eddie swung first.  His fist connected quickly with Steve’s jaw and the elder boy stared stone cold at him as Steve stumbled to the ground.  

           “Shit,” Dustin muttered and everyone was quick in action.

           Steve jumped up from the ground, Will and Mike trying to hold him back while Jonathon and Dustin grabbed for Eddie.  Lucas moved Max and Erica out of the way and Robin and Nancy stepped up to your side.

           “Let me go!” Steve yelled.  “Let me go!”

           “Knock it off!” Mike snapped, stumbling at the tug Steve attempted away from the younger boys.

           “Come on!” Eddie cackled.  “Let pretty boy get a nice swing in!”

           “Don’t push it!” Jonathon snapped.

           “I’m slipping!” Dustin yelled, his palms clammy and his upper arm strength nonexistent in the pull Eddie had.

           “Eddie, Steve, stop!” you shouted.  “Stop right now!”

           “I’ll never understand what my sister sees in you!” Steve shouted, glaring.  “She could do so much better!”

           Eddie scoffed and licked his lips.  “Like I haven’t heard that before!  At least I can land a gal, you strike out on every chance you get!  So much for being the Hawkins King!”

           “Shut up!” you again yelled.  

           “Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend!  She’s clearly got the brains in this relationship!” Steve smirked.  “Third times a charm right?”

           “It’s no wonder she hates being at home!” Eddie started, and you froze.  “I wouldn’t want to be around someone as idiotic, full of themselves, and a kiss ass like you!”

           “Bullshit she doesn’t want to be at home!  It’s better than that trailer trash park you’re in! I’m surprised she hasn’t brought home bed bugs or lice!”

           “Ask her then!  You don’t even try to get to know her anyway, so what does it matter!”

           “I know my sister!”

           “Like hell!”

           Tears began to well in your eyes and you tried your best to swallow them down.  The adrenaline was suffocating, everyone getting their own taste of it.  Dustin’s grip slowly lost and Eddie pulled free the rest of the way, Steve finding his way out from Will and Mike.  Everyone started yelling all at once when the two got ahold of each other, causing mass chaos to ensue.  Fists flying, Eddie landed another blow to Steve’s eye – it would definitely be swollen in the next hour and shut completely by the end of the night.  Steve tumbled around with Eddie, landing two good blows into his ribs causing the metalhead to yell out – they weren’t broken but there would definitely be major bruising and tender for a while.  You attempted your own chance at pulling them apart, but the force of the two sent you stumbling and Nancy shouted, anger setting in for her at the two acting this way in her home.  “Knuckleheads, break it up or I’ll call Hopper!”

           The two continued their dance, nearly tumbling into the three of you and Steve slammed Eddie against the counter top.  Eddie flailed beneath him and Steve sent a blow to his jaw, causing Eddie to yelp in pain.  He glared up at Steve and reached around him for anything that would help him gain some traction.

           His hand landed in something mushy, his fingers feeling a heavy, thick, consistency on them but he went with it.  Eddie grabbed a fist full and landed a blow into Steve’s face, causing him to gasp and lose his hold.  Steve wiped his face, red crumbs and white icing coating his hand. He stared at it before looking up and it was on before you could stop them.  Steve grabbed his own fist full and the two went back to it, cake and icing flying in every which direction.  Food and drinks came with it and everyone yelled as soon, the entire party was coated in carbonation, crumbs of chips, and icing being flung every which direction.  Nancy tried to block herself, screaming out in anger.  Oh, how much trouble she was going to be in for this later.

           You felt the tears brimming, pushing, and soon tumbling over your waterline.  They were heavy, hot, and quickly cascading down your face.  Your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath and everything moved in slow motion in front of you.  The cake was destroyed, demolished, gone, as were any chances of your two favorite people reconciling and putting any differences behind them.  There went any chances of family dinners, trips, any chances of enjoying a Corroded Coffin show, any chances of a future that was healthy with either one.  You watched as they continued their antics, neither one of them sparing any glance to check on you, to see your reaction, for any sign or confirmation that you were okay.  In this moment, it was about Steve and Eddie.  It was always about Steve and Eddie.  Reflecting and looking back, even when it was you and only one of them, it turned around to discuss the other.

           Steve always wanted to know what Eddie was doing, who he was hanging out with, where you were going with him, if Eddie was trying to sell you weed, if you two were drinking.  Anything he could get dirt on for your parents.  Eddie always wanted to know what Steve was doing, if he was working, when he was working, and when he’d be home so he could plan exactly to come get you at the worst time just to annoy him.  It was little things, it was spiteful, and the two couldn’t leave high school behind.  Where did you even fit in to the equation?  At that point it’d be better for them to just date each other.

           Making your way to the now empty cake platter, a splash of Coke greeting you in the face on your trek, you grabbed the glass dish firmly in your hands.  The porcelain was completely clean, smooth, no crumbs of what had been.  This is what your life would be now; clean, smooth, no crumbs of what had been.  The surface, slipping back and forth in your hands, would not survive this fight either. Arms raising above your head, you could hear your pulse in your ears, not even the shout from Robin when she saw what you were doing, it was so loud.  Even when you screamed out in frustration, you couldn’t hear how actually loud you were, how it was almost deafening as the realization set over the situation in front of you.  Most everyone covered their ears with their hands, wide eyed and cowering back from what was to come.  With your screaming, you quickly brought the plate crashing down to the kitchen tile and shards of glass went flying.  The small pieces grazed your bare calves, probably not the best time to be wearing shorts.  Steve and Eddie were the two closest to the line of fire, both of them turning away and blocking their faces.  When the glass had calmed, that’s when your screaming did, and the deafening silence that followed felt louder.

           Everyone looked around, food and drink covering every surface in the kitchen and half of the living room.  The glass had spread from the bottom of your feet into the line of the living room, down the tile of the kitchen, and even some had managed to bounce to the countertop.  All eyes slowly landed on you, Eddie and Steve both finally taking in the mass destruction of what they had caused.  Tears continued to stream down your face, mixed with the icing slabbed on your cheek and the stain of Coke all along the collar and upper shoulders of your shirt. Eddie looked to your legs and saw the thin lines of blood from the shards, before meeting your face again.  Steve watched as your shoulders shook from the sobs held in, your face as red as the cake you had made.  

           Oh shit, the cake.

           “Oh, baby,” Eddie started.

           “Kiddo, I-“ Steve added at the same time.

           “No!” you sobbed.  The room grew quiet again.  All eyes were on you.  This was your time.

           “I-“ you started, taking a deep breath to try and align yourself.  “I didn’t want to lose- to lose either of you.  I wanted th-this to work.  Just once!”

           Guilt began creeping over the boys, disappointment settled in Steve’s bones as he knew he let you down, Eddie feeling his own tears start to grow at the state you were in.  They didn’t want this.

           “But now,” you chuckled, causing both boys to go rigid in fear.  “Now I realize you’re losing me.”

           You looked to each of them, a sob tight in your chest and you choked it back.  With shaking hands, you wiped the remaining food from your face, and brushed past the two of them and everyone else.  The sobs finally racked your chest as you quickly made your way out the door, slamming it shut behind you.  

           Steve and Eddie looked around before looking at each other.  They both were fucked up.  And they had fucked up.  Big time.

[osgoss]

My BKDK Band AU (part 1)

Aka my self-indulgent Drummer Bakugou x Bassist Izuku

First things first, Izuku probably learned how to sing first and became part of a choir before he learned to pick up an instrument. He always wanted to play in a band as a kid, and he'd join katsuki's rehearsals just to watch him play.

He only takes interest sometime in his graduating year of high school, when his music teacher (toshinori cough cough) points out how interested he looks while watching katsuki and his band rehearse for a class project. Izuku pretty much throws around excuses as to why he never really learned how to try, from choosing choir first or finding the guitar too complicated, and 'ahh the drums were always kacchan's thing not me' or just not having the talent to play an instrument. Intrigued, Toshinori points out the bass guitar, which isn't as flashy as a guitar or drums or even piano, but certainly just as important as the other instruments, and how learning it would be easier ("what with less strings and less complicated chords, you know?"). For a moment Izuku thinks, a bit hopeful, but then immediately shuts down because he 'wouldn't really have the time to practice it now, and assuming bass guitars are about the same price as an electric guitar, I don't really have that kind of money right now haha'. And then Izuku's final reason would be that he would never dare to outshine or much less step on the same stage as Katsuki Bakugou, the famed drummer.

Toshinori then goes on a tangent of how drums and bass most often than not go hand in hand. While pianos and guitars and singing take care of the melody and tones, drums and bass are important for both the tempo and rythm of a song.

The next time they meet, Toshinori is giving Izuku his old bass guitar, and thats the start of Izuku's journey to learning the bass!!! Personally I like to think Izuku is on the higher notes when it comes to singing, and so bass would also be a refreshing start for him!

As for Katsuki, he's always adored the sound of Izuku's singing voice despite never admitting it. Yet I like to think he has a core memory of them when they were kids, and Izuku sang to him to cheer him up. He never really visited the other's choir practices or rehearsals, but whenever there was a school event or Izuku was asked to sing, Bakugou would always listen intently. In fact, he might've even developed a certain hate for his own voice, with how loud and gruff his voice is, ever since he was a kid. This was the main reason he chose to pick up an instrument, too. He wanted to shine just as much as Izuku in his eyes anyway.

Oh and the reason why Bakugou got a head start on learning the drums was because he had a gameboy as a kid and liked to play rhythm tengoku ALL the time. He got so competitive over it, too.

When Toshinori announces that Izuku will be a part of the band for the project, Katsuki freaks the fuck out. They have this fight for a while, a few weeks before the presentation of their class project, ykno classic bkdk misunderstanding yowza <33 what with Bakugou feeling intimidated by how much Izuku is growing, while also having the slight fear of never hearing Izuku sing again (he feels stupid for it, but never admits it out loud). He does his best to make him give up or discourage him and tell him "you're better off using your ugly nerd voice", which of course Izuku takes the wrong way (can you blame him tbh), and yet Izuku finds himself challenged but hopeful. He doesn't want to throw away the chance (and the guitar) that his teacher gave him. The chance to finally be on the same stage as his childhood friend, to shine just as brightly and beautifully.

They still do rehearse together despite this, and through all the struggle, there are times when their practices turn out better than expected, and in these times, Izuku isn't sworn off at as much.

And then a big fight goes down between the two of them, and they're both angry and arguing because they're running out of time, and Izuku still can't get one part correctly. Bakugou has always been a perfectionist at heart, and Izuku has always respected him for it. But for the first time, Izuku feels just how far apart they are in skill, and he hates it. For now, all he can do is appologize and say "I'll do better" in any semblance to reassure the blonde, but they both know there's just too much at stake amd too much missing. Izuku spends the rest of the night practising until his fingers get blisters.

In the end, Izuku couldn't back out because the other bassist wasn't any better at the bass than Izuku was because he'd thought the greenette wouldn't be replaced at all. In the end, he couldn't perfect the segment he'd wanted to in time, not even on the night before the presentation, no matter how many band aids he used to wrap his blistered up fingers.

On the day of the presentation, Bakugou was driven to a boiling point, repeatedly starting the song over and over until Izuku got it right. Not having a single care about the audience of parents and teachers bellow. Only when they'd finally asked his mother to coerce him to play the song one more time, in full, and in a way Bakugou didn't want to, had Izuku realised just how much their relationship had deteriorated. Playing a song as a band had never felt so restricting, feeling as if your bandmate was your enemy. Feeling as if the people you were playing with didn't want you there at all. For Izuku's first experience on the stage, he was crushed to bits. Turned into a no one. A deku.

When he goes back to the music room to retrieve his(toshinori's-) bass, he finds the strings purposefully cut and left on display, and it doesn't take him a second to know who's behind it (most likely one of bakugou's 'friends' to send him a message). "We can always replace them," Toshinori reassures, "it would've been a real problem if they messed with the back." But the damage had been done, and the message was received.

(To Be Continued...)

"Toshinori-san, do you think I have what it takes to be a bass player?" The question catches him off guard. He takes a moment and then moves to sit beside the younger boy. "Hm. Well, you do have a bass in hand, don't you?" He makes eye contact with the other. "Doesn't that make you a bass player already?" And the boy bursts into tears.

They all pass and graduate despite the kerfuffle of their last project, and Izuku decides to go into a deep dive into learning the bass over his summer break.

Phew!! Wow, this took a lot longer to edit and write ngl, but it's my first written AU!!! YIPPEEEE!! This was actually meant to be a crack AU, due to an ongoing meme in the bands communities where bass players and drummers often get a long well and end up being 'shipped'. So i thought it'd be funny if bkdk was like that, and surprisingly, my brain just decided to brainworm the HELL out of it. So here we are! I'm definitely already working my way into making part 2 so u don't have to worry about that! Hope yall enjoyed reading!!!

[haerinari]

Second chance to love — Yang Jeongin

sypnosis. falling in love with your ex-boyfriend is not something that people usually do. Yang Jeongin was your first love, a sweet boy that you met on high school, on your senior year. Your relationship with him was almost perfect, until he entered JYP company to became a trainee. The time wasn't enough, it was hard to see each other, and finally your relationship with him came to an end. But was it really the end? Or would both of you could finally make it?

genre. fluff, exes to friends to lovers, idol au, both are trainees under JYP, here both ITZY and SKZ are in their trainee era, SKZ debut first, ITZY’s debut don’t appear on the story.

wordcount. super long (sorry)

warnings. cursing, lots of time skips, kissing, not a make up session but almost (they got caught by hyunjin), maybe everything happens very fast.

Following your dreams and finding love at the same time was something that Yang Jeongin, at a very young age, found very complicated.

Since he was a kid, he knew that his dream was to become a performer, a singer. He dreamed about being on stage dancing and singing with all he had. Jeongin had his plan to become an idol very clear, finishing school with good grades and then making an audition to reach his dreams..

Or at least that was his plan until you came into his life.

You were a pretty young girl that caught Jeongin's attention the moment you entered his class. Pretty eyes, black hair, and that beautifull smile Jeongin loved so much. You started talking to him because your teacher made you sit exactly next to him, everyone was sitting in pairs and that was the only space left. Jeongin through your eyes was a very beautiful boy that had an extremely funny and cute personality. Hi foxy eyes that had an special sparkle every time he looked at you and that smile with braces that made him look ten times more adorable tan he was.

You got along with him pretty good, always working together on the assignments and helping each other when it was needed. He felt for you first, clearly. His heart beating faster every single day he saw you entering the class, the way his body felt when you gave him a hug, or maybe how your smile made his day happier.

Of course you also fell in love with Jeongin, it was almost impossible not to. He was always checking on you, offering you his help with the homework or sharing his food with you. You started noticing his feelings due to he was always watching you in class, sometimes he even put his elbow closer to yours to make some type of contact between you two. He was very bad at hiding it, but you didn't mind to show it. So one day, you decided that it was time to tell the boy about how you felt about him, and so you did.

Jeongin and you dated for a few months, everything was perfect, or that was what you thought.

Jeongin had a very hard and busy life. He had tell you about his dream of becoming an idol, and of course that you decided to support him on everything you could. Jeongin passed the audition to become a trainee under JYP entertainment, and that took all the time he had left.

You knew that you wouldn’t be allowed to see him that much, and that was something Jeongin didn’t like. With all the pain on his heart, one day he told you to see him on the park, and that was the day that you broke up.

—Is not that i don’t love you any more— he said. —I don’t want to make you wait for me, i love you, but i really want this, and i wish i had more time to go out with you, but i don’t. I don’t want to lose you, i want to be with you for the rest of my life, but i don’t have enough time—

—It’s okay— you said with tears in your eyes. —I understand, and i really want you to complete this dream of yours. I love you too Jeongin, you are my first and only love. I’ll be watching for you, and i’ll be your number 1 fan when you make your debut— you giggled.

—Thanks for everything y/n, i really appreciate that you understand. But still, i’ll be wattinng for you always, and if life gives me the chance, i promise i will make you fall in love with me again if it’s necessary.— he said, making you smile.

—Good luck, Jeongin. I hope i can see you later—you hugged him.

And that was the last time that you saw your one true love.

—fuck! i’m going late!— you exclaimed.

it was actually really funny how you ended up in this situation that you never imagined you would be. everything started when you were on the supermarket two weeks ago, with both of your airpods plugged in your ears while “I can’t stop me” from twice was playing. you were singing quietly (or that’s what you thought) and doing some moves of the choreo while you were searching for meat to eat at dinner.

when suddenly, a young woman around 34 years old tapped your back calling your attention. she said that she has being hearing you sing all this time and that you had a very powerful voice.

—is this a joke?— you said to her.

she told you that she work on an idol company and that they would had auditions soon. the woman gave you a piece of paper with the location, date, and hour of the audition, and that’s when you realized that it wasn’t a joke.

“JYP ENTERTAINMENT” why was the name so familiar to you?

and today was finally the day. you had prepared yourself for the past weeks to this moment. the song you decided to perform on the audition was “I can’t stop me” the same song that the woman heard you sing. that was the song that called her attention, so maybe it would also call the attention of the judges. actually, you didn’t know why you were putting this much effort in something like this. you never thought of becoming an idol or being a trainee, but maybe it would be fun, so… why not?

the building was very big, glass doors and poster of groups like twice, wonder girls and 2PM decorating all the inside of the building, it was amazing. there was around 20 boys and girls making the line that you supposed that it was to make the audition, all of them warming up their voices or dancing softly trying to remember every single step.

—hello!— said a girl.

—hi!— you replied with a smile. —my name is yuna, what’s yours?—

—i’m y/n, nice to meet you— you said. —nice to meet you too. what category are you auditioning for?— she asked. —singing—

—wow, that’s cool, i’m doing dancing. my dream is to be an idol and i think today would bring a great opportunity for me— yuna said. —i hope that you pass the audition, you look very confident, yuna— you replied.

—thanks y/n, i hope that you pass the audition too—

time passed and the line became shorter every single time, girls coming in with a smile and coming out crying, boys with sad faces, and people that could make it. yuna had left you a few minutes before, but she never came back. you were nervous as fuck. it was almost you time, and you were starting to panic.

—come in please— a woman told you.

you entered the room, a white room with a microphone on the center and three people sitting one a desk in front of you.

—choi y/n?— a man asked. —yes sir, hello— you said doing a reverence.

—my name is Park Jinyoung, this is Kang Minjin and this is Seo Jaerin, and we will be de judges today. okay?— he said. —yes—

—perfect! so now, you can start—

you took the microphone on your hands, and with that, the music began to sound. you sang with all you had, feeling the rhythm of the music and doing every note perfect. you saw park jinyoung face while you were singing, jaw open almost hitting the floor. that’s a good sign, you thought.

—you did it amazing— he said when the song ended. —you have an amazing and powerful voice that we will appreciate a lot. welcome to JYP entertainment, y/n—

—oh my god, thank you so much— you replied with a big smile on your face. —go and sit with the other girls that are on the next room, i’ll be with you on a second.—

—yes sir, and thank you again— you bowed.

you walked to the other room, seeing yuna sitting on a couch with other five girls around her.

—y/n!— she exclaimed. —you did it! i’m so happy for you—

—i’m so happy for you too, yuna. i knew that you would pass the audition— you replied.

—let me introduce you our new friends… this is yeji, this is ryujin, here is chaeryeong, and this is lia—

—nice to meet you all— you said with a smile.

—i’m glad we are all going to be friends— yeji said.

—yeah, me too— chae expressed. —i was scared that you girls would be rude or something like that—

—of course not. i knew that we would all be pretty and kind— lia said.

—i like this group— ryujin said smiling.

—i like it too— you said.

—hello again, girls— park jinyoung said entering the room once again. —i hope that you already had time to meet each other. but well, let’s start! all of you had been selected thanks to your incredible abilities in the categories of dancing, singing, and rapping. the six of you would form a group called ITZY, and your trainee period would started tomorrow. for now, i would have another group of trainees that would show you the building. tomorrow, all of you would have a room assigned and your dancing classes would start at 8:00 am. and now, i would leave you with our oldest group of trainees, stray kids.—

just after he said that a group of eight boys came through the door. all of them were wearing black clothes and they all had a smile on their faces.

they boys formed on line, allowing you and you friends to looked at heir faces. and…

oh for the love of god.

your eyes got wide open, jaw almost hitting the floor, and a gesture of surprise on your face. you couldn’t believe it. you were seeing Jeongin, the Jeongin that you broke up with three years ago. except that this time he was taller and his features were a little different.

—hi girls! my name is Bang Chan and i’m the leader of the group— he said with a smile. —This are Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmim, and this is our maknae Je-

—Jeongin…— you said finishing his sentence.

his name escaped from your lips, the smile the boy had disappeared and a expression of surprise and confusion invaded his face. he took a second to analyze if it was really you, the girl he had love so much in the past. he saw your face, your eyes that he loved so much, it was really you.

—Uhmm, excuse me, i have to go to the bathroom!— Jeongin said quickly while leaving the room.

—do you know him?— chaeryeong whispered in your ear.

—i will tell you later— you answered.

—Excuse him, but any ways, we’re going to show you the building— chan said.

yeji, ryujin, chaeryeong, lia, yuna, and you followed the 8 boys through all the building. it was vey big, it had a lot of rooms that they said were to practice dance, some of them were con singing, and they were also “classes” for the foreigners trainees to study korean.

jeongin never came back, you wonder why. you haven’t see him in a long time, of course you were over him already, but watching him again made you feel some kind of nostalgic feeling.

the next day you arrived half and hour early to the JYP building, you wanted to have some time to prepare yourself before the practices started, so you did.

you were walking in the hallway when suddenly someone bumped into you.

—oh, i’m so sorry! are you okay?— you asked.

—Yeah, yeah, i’m fi- y/n?— oh, it was jeongin.

—jeongin?—

—yes, uhmm i’m sorry, i wasn’t looking were i was going— he said awkwardly.

—it’s okay—

actually, all this situation is awkward.

—and… how have you been?— you said.

—really good actually, you? i never imagine seeing you here— jeongin answered.

—pretty good— you smiled. —i never thought of myself being here either—

—well, if you are here is for a reason. why do you audition for?—

—i did singing—

—oh wow, i did singing to get here too—

—ahh yes, yes—

the atmosphere was awkward, both of you just staring at each other without saying something. jeongin’s eyes looking directly at yours, and that familiar feeling that you felt long time ago coming one again into your body.

—i have to go practice so…—Jeongin said with putting his hands in the back of his neck.

—oh yeah, me too— you told him.

—see you around, y/n—

—bye jeongin—

you turned your back and started walking on the hall again, jeongin watching you from behind. he shake his head, what was he thinking? he was going to keep walking when suddenly Minho and Hyunjin appear in front of him.

—If you were trying to flirt with her, you have to try better— hyunjin joked.

—shut up— jeongin said.

—how didn’t you notice hyunjin?— minho asked the other boy. —that’s y/n, the girl that jeongin wouldn’t stop talking when we meet him—

—holy crap, are you trying to flirt with your ex-girlfriend?—

—okey stop, we have to go to practice or Bang Chan hyung is going to kill us— jeongin said in annoyance.

—whatever— minho answer.

of course that jeongin was over you too, but seeing your pretty face again made him question all his feelings.

this is stupid, he thought.

seeing his ex-girlfriend from three years ago and re-thinking if he was really over you was stupid, but the way his heart beat faster the second you looked at him was making him insane.

jeongin walked with his other team member to the practice room, watching how the others were memorizing the new dance moves that they learned yesterday.

—guys, guess what! jeongin was talking to y/n on the hall a few minutes ago!— hyunjin exclaimed loudly.

—hyunjin!? why are you so–

—y/n? the girl that we met yesterday?—changbin asked.

—the one that had pretty eyes— felix said.

—You saw her for 2 minutes and now you are in love with her?— han joked.

—god, save me— jeongin said quietly.

—guys, guys— chan started talking. —y/n is jeongin’s ex-girlfriend, he used to tell us about her all the time, remember? now stop bordering out poor maknae—

—ohh so that’s y/n— seungin commented. —she looks like a nice girl—

—she is— the younger affirmed. —or she was, i don’t know, i haven’t talk to her in a while…—

—let’s talk about this later and start practicing, okay?— chan said.

—yes— they all responded.

on your side, everything was going perfectly. practice had started a while ago and know you were on a break.

—i’m so tired!— lia said sitting on the floor.

—i knew that this was going to be har, but not that hard— yuna said.

—my legs hurt—

—mines too—

—let’s do something fun to know each other better— chae suggested, sitting in the floor. —yesterday, when the boys were showing us the building, y/n recognized one of them—

—oh yeah, i remember— yeji said.

—who was him y/n?— ryujin asked.

—oh girls— you said resting in the floor. —his name is Yang Jeongin, and he was más first and only love—

—awww really?—

—that is so cute—

—yeah, we broke up three years ago because he wanted to chase his dream of becoming an idol, but i didn’t have in mind that i would become one too— you explained.

—and how has being seeing him again after three years?— yuna asked.

—well, i don’t know. he has changed a lot, he got a lot taller, and he is more…—

—handsome?— yeji suggested.

—okey, i think is time to go back to practice— you said standing up.

—but i want to hear the story!— chae protested.

—uh-uh, time to dance!—

next day after practice, you went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. you decided to buy the half of sandwich and a bottle bottle of water. the sandwich was actually really good, even though you could not eat it constantly due to your diet, one time would not affect that much.

you were eating peacefully when suddenly someone sat next to you. it was jeongin.

—hi y/n— he said with a little smile.

—hey jeongin, how are you?— you answered softly.

—i brought you this— the boy said giving you two slices of pizza.

—thank you innie, but i can’t eat them. i’m on diet you know— you told him with lame.

—you haven’t call me innie in a long time…— he said giggling.

you only called jeongin “innie” when he was your boyfriend. it was a cute nickname that you decide to put him, and since then, you only called him that.

—i only called you that when, you know…— you said.

—when what?—he asked with a smirk. —when i was you boyfriend— he said getting closer to you.

this jeongin was very different that the one that you met days ago, the jeongin who literally went running to the bathroom when he saw you.

—yes, that. when you were my boyfriend— you told him a little embarrassed.

—remember that day, when we had to broke up because i wanted to follow my dream?—

—mhm—

—i told him that if life gave me the opportunity, i would make you fall in love with me again—

—jeongin, that happen a lot tim—

—no, i made you a promise. and i’m going to keep it— he interrupted.

a message from the group chat of ITZY appeared on your phone, it was yeji saying that lunch time was over and that practice was going to begin in 5 minutes. thanks god, because you were about to go running from this situation.

—innie, i have to go, lunch time is over and yeji is calling us to go back— you said standing up from the table.

—take the pizza with you, i will eat the sandwich. don’t do hard diets, i don’t want you to feel bad, you look perfect like this— he said.

you felt butterflies on your stomach, the jeongin whom you fall in love with was making you feel this familiar sensation again.

—y-yeah, i’ll se you later jeongin— you took the slices of pizza and the water bottle and started walking away.

—see you later y/n. and remember! i will make you fall for me again no matter what!— he said loudly with a clear smile on his face.

you almost got out of the cafeteria running, this mixed feeling of joy and confusion hitting hard on your body. you started walking faster to the practice room, you had to tell the girls. you opened the door, seeing yeji stretching with chaeryeong and lia, and ryujin chasing yuna all over the room.

—oh. my. god girls, i have to tell y’all something!!— you said with excitement in your voice.

—what is it!?— yuna said and paused running.

—it’s about jeongin…—

—oh hell yes!!— chaeryeong exclaimed loudly.

—tell us y/n, what is it?— lia asked with curiosity.

—okey so, i’m gonna tell y’all the story from the beginning. so, when i was on my senior year i met jeongin at my school. he was the sweetest boy ever, i sat with him every single day, he was always helping me and we also did the assignments together. until one day i started noticing that he was behaving a little more… different, he was always trying to keep physical contact with me and he also keep looking at me always. until one day i heard one of our classmates, beomgyu, literally saying out loud that he liked me. after that i discovered that i also liked him, so i decided to confess. everything went great and we started dating, we were very happy, but he wanted to become a trainee here and he didn’t had a lot of time for me, so we decide that it was best for both of us to broke up… that day, he made me a promise, he said that if life put me on his path again, he would made me fall in love with him again. and here we are…

—awww that’s so cute— yeji said in awe.

—and what are you feeling no?— ryujin asked you.

—i don’t know girls… i loved jeongin on the past with all my heart, he was my first love. but, i haven’t see him in three years, three years.—

—do you think you could give him another opportunity?— lia said.

—y/n, literally since the day you saw him your face changed completely. your eyes sparkle every single time you see him.— chae told you.

—y/n and jeongin forever!– yuna screamed.

—shhh yuna!— you said laughing—should i give him another opportunity?— you asked them.

—if your heart tell you to give him another opportunity, then do it—

—you said that he was your first love, he will always have an especial part of your heart— lia said.

—just make sure pd-nim doesn’t notice it, remember we are not allowed to date here—

—oh shit, i almost forgot that— you said hitting your face with the palm of your hand. —should i tell him to see each other after practice ends?—

—yesss!— they answered.

the four girls sat behind your back, poking out their faces over your shoulders to read the conversation you were about to have with jeongin.

“Innie 💞” you read the name, after your broke up you never changed his name.

you entered the chat and started typing.

Innie 💞

–hey innie

-do you want to meet me out of the building after practice?

literally two seconds after you pressed the “send” button, he was typing his answer.

Innie 💞

-sure, of course! i was going to tell you but i’m glad you did first, does this mean my plan is working?

-hahaha, see you later! 🫶🏼

—i can’t believe i just did that— you told the girls.

—okey, y/n and jeongin going back mode, is activated— ryujin said.

—you will have to look stunning later, we will help you to get ready— said chaeryeong.

—aww thank you girlies—

—for now let’s keep practicing— the leader, yeji said. —when we finish, we can help y/n get ready for her date with jeongin—

—okey—

you and the girls keep practicing this new choreography that you had learned. the song name was “DALLA DALLA” and this was supposed to be the song for your debut. after four long hours of dancing and singing, the time to meet with jeongin had arrived. you took a shower and washed your face, you had sweat a lot due to dancing so you wanted to make sure that you smelled good. after you got out of the shower you dried your hair and straightened it a bit.

the other five girls were searching for your clothes, they choose a cargo pant with a pretty top and the shoes. chae and lia helped you to get your make up done, just putting some mascara, highlighter on the corner of your eyes, and blush while yeji and ryujin were doing your hair. meanwhile, yuna was searching for some perfume to put on.

—your hair is ready— yeji said proudly. her and ryujin had make a pretty braid that made your hair look amazing.

—is actually really good— ryujin said giving it the final touches.

—your make up is also done!— chae told you.

—you look gorgeous, y/n—

—thanks lia— you said with a smile. —thanks for helping me girls, you are all the best—

—no problem y/n, any time— the leader said.

—i find this perfume— yuna said with a small bottle on her hands. —it’s smells reeeeaaaally good—

—thanks yuna!—

when everything was ready, you thanked the girls once again and then got out of the building. it was around 6:30pm, and the weather was starting to get really, really cold. how could i forget my sweater? you thought to yourself. minutes later of waiting there, you saw jeongin figure coming out of the building. he had a grey and blue sweater and some jeans, his hair was messy and he was also wearing black glasses.

—sorry if i made you wait for too long— the boy apologized. —i had to make an excuse so bang chan hyung let me skip practice—

—you haven’t finish practice?— you asked him.

—we will be making our debut soon, so we have to practice harder.— jeongin explained.

—right, if you want we can meet another da-

—no! no, don’t worry. i can’t miss this— he answered with a smile. —do you want to walk?—

—sure— you replied.

—so… how have you been?—

—really good, actually. i’m still adapting to all of this you know, sometimes is hard to train all the time. i feel exhausted sometimes— you told him.

—yeah, i get it. it happened to me too, but you will adapt soon or later, is just matter of time—

—i hope so… but i also like being here, i met my teammates and they are amazing. they are like my new sisters, they are so sweet—

—in my case they are also like my brothers— he laughed. —they said i’m their baby bread, so they’re always bothering me—

—that’s cute— you laughed at the nickname.

—and what, do you have a new boyfriend?—he asked.

—damm, you have no filter Yang Jeongin. always going straight to the point—

—you know how i am. so…?—

—i don’t have a boyfriend, yang. i don’t have time for that—

—you haven’t been with anyone since, you know… we broke up?—

—noup, no one. how about you?—

—nah, before you came here i always expected you to send me a text or something—

—i didn’t because i really wanted you to be here, to make your dream true. and if you really wanted me to text you, why didn’t you text me neither?— you asked with curiosity.

—i was really shy at that moment, y/n. i couldn’t even hold your hand without getting all red— he giggled.

—i remember that— you said laughing. —every time i gave you a kiss you would get all shy and flustered—

—but i’ve grown up, and now i don’t get shy—

—really?— you said stopping walking.

—really. do you wanna try?—

he also stopped walking, looking deep into your eyes and then your lips. you got closer to him, faces inches from each other, lips almost touching. you saw how he closed his eyes, waiting to feel your lips against his, but in never happened.

—good luck next time, innie— you said in a whisper and continued walking.

—oh come on!— jeongin exclaimed.

—if you want to get back with me, you will have to try harder— you laughed.

—does this mean there is possibility for us getting back?—

—i never said that—

—i told you that i would make you fall in love with me again no matter what.— he said and you turned to look at him. —i never stopped loving you, y/n, you were my first love. and you have no idea of how hard it was for me to leave you. i don’t care how much time it takes, i’ll get back with you. and do you know how do i know it? because if you didn’t have the same intention, we wouldn’t be here right now—

you had to admit it, you never stopped loving jeongin. the way he made you fell all the time was a feeling that nobody else could make you feel. how his arms around your body made you feel save, how his eyes always looked at you with love and admiration.

you stand there for a few seconds, analyzing what he just said. you walked in front of him, he was still the pretty boy that you met in your senior year. the pretty boy whom you fall in love with all your heart, the boy that made you feel butterflies in your stomach every time he looked at you.

you took his face between your hands, finally getting closer and pressing your lips against his. the new sensation but the unforgettable feeling of his lips pressed against yours made you fell like heaven. his hands went to your waist, pulling you closer to his body, trying to feel every inch of you.

you were the one that broke the kiss, his eyes sparkling like stars, and a big smile present on his face.

—i never stopped loving you either— you whispered on his lips. —you don’t have to make me fall for you again, because my heart has been always your Yang Jeongin—

—you don’t have any idea of how long i’ve been waiting for this— he said smiling. —i promise that this time is going to be different, we practically live on the same building right now. and i swear that this time, nothing is going to make me leave you again—

his lips met yours one again, forming another kiss that was full of love and reliving sensations from the past. jeongin was your first love, how can you resist to him?

—it’s getting cold right now— he said with his hands still on your waist.

—i know, i’ve been freezing all this time— you confessed.

—why didn’t you tell me?— jeongin asked with a worried voice. —i could have give you my sweater—

—it’s okay innie, we should probably go back to the building—

—do you want to drink hot chocolate at the cafeteria? i know is your favorite, is it?—

—of course it is, i love it!—

—let’s go then—

You and Jeongin walked towards the building once again. hands touching occasionally until jeongin finally decided to take yours. It was like his hand was made perfectly to hold yours, his fingers intertwined with yours, making the situation even more adorable.

ITZY 🫀✨

—…and that’s what happen…

Chae 💘— OMGGG!!!

Yeji 🌷— i knew it!

Lía 💋— i was sure

that you guys were going to kiss

Ryujin 😍— yuna you owe me

5000 wons

Yuna 🩵— NOOO 😭😭

—do you guys made a bet? hahaha

Ryujin 😍— yep, and yuna just lost.

Yeji 🌷— btw girls, practice

is cancelled today. rest well!

you locked your phone, thanks god practice got cancelled today. today the weather was very cold, but you decided to get up from bed and go to the JYP building. even tho you didn’t had practice, you wanted to see Jeongin.

you took a shower and changed into a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. the building was near your dorm, so it was actually very easy to get there. you got in, saying hello in a polite way to every worker in the building. what you didn’t expect was to see JYP-nim on the hall.

—y/n, what are you doing here? practice for you was cancelled today— he said with a little smile.

—oh uhmm… i thought it would be great if i came here and practice a little more to be ready when we make our debute— you lied.

—what a wonderful girl! that’s the attitude i’m looking for, good luck with your practice— he said and then leaved.

whoosh, you almost got caught.

you went up in the elevator, going to the 6 floor and walking to the stray kids practice room. you could hear the music from the room, they were playing “Hellevator” one of their pre-debut releases.

you opened the door, hoping to see the entire group dancing, but instead of that, you only saw jeongin.

a big smile appeared on his face, he was dressed on a white t-shirt and some grey pants similar to yours. he had his hair all messy, small drops of sweat coming down his face due to the effort he was making.

—hi innie— you said with a smile. —can i come in?—

—of course baby, what are you doing here?—

baby… did he just called you baby?

—practice was cancelled for me today— you said closing the door behind you. —and i wanted to see you…—

—aww you miss me— jeongin said hugging you by the waist. —you know you’re always welcome here—

—and where are the others?— you asked.

—they’re gone for some minutes…—

—i se-

you couldn’t finish the sentence, jeongin’s lips were already over yours. his soft lips making you remember the kiss from yesterday. one of his hands was on the back of your neck while the other one was on your waist. the kiss was getting a little more intense, and the atmosphere was starting to get hotter.

jeongin’s body was pressed against yours, the pressure making you walk backwards. you knew that he was making this on purpose when you felt the cold wall hit your back. your hands travelled from his chest you his abdomen, his tongue licking softly your lower lip through the kiss.

your hands lifted up his shirt a bit, allowing you to fell his abs and chest muscles. both of jeongin’s hands were now on your hips, making circles and trying to pull you closer to the lower part of his body. you were the one that broke the kiss, trying to calm yourself down because the heat on your body was growing faster and faster.

—why’d you stop?— he asked, his lips all shiny and red because of the previous actions.

—your friends can come in any second— you said, voice all shaky and trying to catch air.

—i told you, they won’t come in a while— he explained.

this time you didn’t even had time to answer, his lips were devouring yours once again. he kissed your lips, then your jaw, and going down your neck. at this point you weren’t giving a shit if the other members came in. jeongin’s hands went under your black hoodie, the contact of his cold fingers over your soft and warm skin making you shiver.

—jeongin were ba- HOLY SHIT, JEONGIN IS HAVING SEX ON THE PRACTICE ROOM!—

oh shit, it was hyunjin.

—shit, shit, fuck!— jeongin said pulling your hoodie down again.

—oh god, this can’t be happening— you said in panic.

—what’s going on here?— the leader of stray kids said opening the door.

—and why does hyunjin look traumatized?— seungmin asked.

—y/n? what are you doing here?— felix said in confusion.

—uh-uhmm i was…—

—THEY WERE HAVING SEX!— hyunjin exclaimed once again.

—shut your mouth up— jeongin told him. —we were just talking about something…—

—i bet that our little innie isn’t hungry anymore— changbin joked and jeongin gave him a bad look.

—stooop, please— he replied to him.

—well, let’s forget about this, okay?— lee know said. —we should probably eat—

—yeah, the food is getting cold— han spoke.

—of you want to stay, you can y/n, you are always welcome— felix said with a smile.

—thanks felix—

—we brought pizza, jeongin told us that it was your favorite—

—i really like it, but i’m on a diet—

—it’s okay to eat pizza some times, y/n— chan said. —it’s okay, don’t worry—

—okey but, eat the pizza, not our little jeongin— hyunjin finally spoke.

—al right, al right— you laughed.

you ate with them and spend the rest of the afternoon there. after eating you and jeongin told the boys about the what was happening between you two, you told them about how he was your boyfriend on your senior year and how you guys went back together.

after that they teach you some dance moves of the song of their debut and then jeongin took you home, saying goodbye with a soft kiss and a long tight hug. after leaving you on your dorm he went back to the building, the day was over for you but not for him. the stray kids debut was less than a month so everything had to be perfect.

jeongin went back to the room, seeing lee know helping the others with the final touches of the choreo.

—jeongin can i talk to you for a sec?— chan asked the maknae of the group.

—sure hyung, is something wrong?— jeongin asked worried.

—it’s about y/n–

—oh…—

—i know that you really like her, and i also know that she is very important and special to you. but i need you to remember that you are going to become an idol in less than a month, i need you to be really focus at this point of your career. does JYP-nim knows about you and her?—

—no— the boy answered.

—okey, make sure you don’t get caught, because if you do, you’ll get in a lot of trouble— chan said palming his shoulder.

—yes, thank hyung— jeongin smiled.

—your welcome, kid—

—oh, i almost forget it! i need your help with something, it’s about y/n—

—what is it?—

—i need your help to make a plan to ask her to be my girlfriend…—

a month has passed and the debut of Stray Kids couldn’t be more successful. talking about your relationship with jeongin, this last month has been totally amazing. even tho JYP-nim still knew nothing, always at the end of the day jeongin took you to little dates. when he couldn’t wait to see you at noon, he escaped from his practice to go to yours, giving you and the other five girls a bottle of water and some chocolates to keep your levels of sugar high.

the girls liked jeongin (mostly because he gave them snacks all the time) but also because they always see how happy you were with him. jeongin loved you, and a lot.

talking about all this thing of the debate, yours was also very close (let’s pretend that they trained for more than three months idk) your debut album was called “IT’z Different” and the title track was “DALLA DALLA” a song that was mostly about loving yourself. all of your group liked a lot the song, the choreography was fun and energetic, and all of you had enough time to show your vocal and rap skills.

today was saturday, and was your free day. about 2 weeks ago you and the girls started living together, and it was the most fun thing ever. at the beginning everything was an absolutely mess, but now the rooms were clean and everyone had their own room. yesterday jeongin told you to go out on a date and 1pm, and luckily you had enough time to get ready.

after eating breakfast with the girls, yeji and lia went to the store to buy some things while ryujin, yuna, and you stayed as the dorm. you washed the dishes and then went to take a shower, you washed all your body and hair to be perfectly clean for the date. you choose a white dress with small flowers in it, you dried and curled you hair a little bit and finally the makeup. now was 12:30, wow, times flies so fast.

yo took a taxi to go to the park, that was like your special place with jeongin, and you loved to go there and spend time with him. the day was sunny, and when you arrived the sun was hitting softly the grass of the park. you saw jeongin on one side, you got out of the taxi and almost run into him. he was looking so cute.

—hi innie— you said with a bright smile.

—hi pretty, you look gorgeous today—

—thanks— you blushed. —you look pretty cute too—

—let’s go, okey?— jeongin smiled

—sure!—

jeongin took your hand kindly and started walking to green area of the park.

—now, i need you to close your eyes— he said standing behind you, putting his arms in your shoulders.

—why?—you laughed.

—just to it, you’ll see— he repeated.

—okey—

he placed both of his hands on your eyes, his voice guiding you so you didn’t fall with anything, then he stopped.

—can i open my eyes now—you asked him.

—yep— jeongin said getting of his hands from your eyes.

there was a pretty red and white blanket, with food and drinks in it, something that looked like a present, a cake, more snacks, and heart shaped balloons.

—oh my god jeongin, did you did all that?— you asked with surprise, it was absolutely beautiful.

—yes, with a little bit of help of the guys, do you like it?— he giggled.

—of course i like it! i love it!— you exclaimed, then, giving him a kiss.

—sit, i brought all your favorite snacks. and oh! the cake is red velvet, you favorite—

—aww you’re so sweet innie— you sat on the blanket, admiring one more thine how beautiful all this looked.

jeongin sat besides you, ha gave you food and drinks while you guys joked around. he told you about how nervous he was on his debut, but that now he was very confident because he had all the support of STAY. you told him about how you were feeling recently with all this situation of the ITZY debut, you were actually very nervous, and you were scared that the people didn’t like you, or worst, didn’t like the song. you guys also talked about how happy you felt with each other, jeongin told you the story about how it was living without your presence when he started with JYP, but how also he talked with the boys about you all the time. you also told him how you ended here, the story of you singing on the store. jeongin couldn’t stop laughing, how can you even be recruited this way?

you spent all the afternoon doing one of your favorite things in the world, talking and eating with jeongin. just having him around could make you fell things no one could make you feel ever, and the way he looked at you with those eyes yes and his dimples showing every time he laughed, were almost making you melt.

—i have something to give you— jeongin said giving you the present that you saw before.

—what is it?— you asked in curiosity.

—open it—

you opened the box, seeing the inside decorated with a lot of photos of you and him and also some chocolates. there was also a white bracelet with a heart in it, very similar to the one he was wearing, except his was black. at the bottom of the box was a letter, you were just about to read it when jeongin spoke quickly.

—no! don’t open it here— he said trying to get the letter from your hands.

—why?— you smiled.

—because i’m gonna get all shy and then i won’t be able to talk properly, and i have things left to say— he said blushing.

—fine, but the second by feet hit my dorm, i will read it— you said.

—okey, okey—

—thank you very much innie— you said giving him a tight hug, smiling his cologne. —you didn’t have to all this for me, you’re the best—

—i love with all my heart, that’s why i did it— he said kissing your forehead. —i have also something to tell you…—

—what it is?—

—uhmm i don’t know if i should say it— jeongin told you hiding his face on the crook of your neck.

—just say it, innie. what happened to the “i’m not shy anymore” jeongin, huh?— you laughed.

—okey fine— he said finally looking at you eyes. —okey, uhmm… so, i just wanted to tell you that this last months with you had probably been the most happiest months of my life. i really, really like you y/n, and having the chance to be with you again is absolutely incredible. in my eyes you are the most beautiful, amazing, and kind girl of the world, and of course that you already have my entire heart. when we were on our senior year i always used to say that you were my first love and that if it wasn’t with you, it wasn’t with nobody else, and i was right. my eyes and heart only have space for you, you are my first love and hopefully the last one, and i hope that i have a lot time left with you. y/n, you were the one that showed me how was to feel loved, how was to have someone that felt the same things towards you. the words “i love you” don’t mean nothing compared to how i feel about you. i never stopped loving you, and i promise you that i won’t stop never, you have no idea of how perfect and beautiful you are through my eyes…—

you felt the heat growing up your cheeks, you heart was beating like crazy due to jeongin’s words. you were going to melt right there, his eyes watching you softly while his hand was holding yours. It was only a matter of time before you started crying.

—innie, i-

—y/n…— he cut you off. —can you give me a second chance? can i be your boyfriend?—

oh god, it was happening.

you stare at him for a few seconds, analyzing his expression with fear in his eyes. reality hit you in that moment, of course you wanted to be his girlfriend.

—of course that i want to be with you— you said with the biggest smile you ever had. —you are my first love jeongin, and i’m in love with you again, i love you too—

—really!?— the boy exclaimed with happiness, sitting in front of you.

—of course, silly— your hands cupped his cheeks, watching carefully the expression of joy in his eyes.

—oh my god, i got so scared for a moment because you didn’t say anything! i love you so, so, so much—

jeongin took you by the waist, pulling your bodies closer and finally connecting them with a kiss. this time kissing him felt different, it felt more special, more beautiful. his lips felt so soft into yours, the red velvet flavor hitting your mouth every time your tongs touch each other.

—I— kiss —LOVE— kiss —YOU— kiss, he said in your lips.

—believe me innie…—you giggled. —i love you more— you kissed him again.

[danvillecheese]

the general audience versus the rest of us

this analysis is not to degrade anyone outside of or in the fandom, it’s simply to showcase how differently people remember phineas and ferb. there are a number of topics I will delve into, all of which are lovingly put into sections under the cut. so, with no further ado… enjoy!

how normal people watch it

so if you’re like me and watched pnf occasionally on tv growing up you’ll remember bits of the show. you’ll remember it’s repetitive and episodic nature, the way everything goes back to how it was at the start of the day. phineas and ferb think of something to do, candace attempts to bust them, perry fights doofenshmirtz, and doofs machine makes phineas and ferb’s invention disappear, sticking to the status quo of what linda typically sees. it’s predictable, but not in the sense that you necessarily know what’s going to happen. maybe you do, or something happens that subverts your expectations. the “typical phineas and ferb episode structure” (or TPNFES, I’m calling it that now) is how a lot of people who haven’t seen the show in a while will remember it. or maybe not. maybe they remember doof making an inator that does x. or they remember the aglet song (never forget ze aglet!). it’s typically something you’d have seen at least a couple of times during its original run.

and no, of course there’s no problem with only remembering one or two things about a show from your youth. I personally watched a lot of shows as a kid that I don’t remember a thing about. yeah I watched LazyTown when I was like four but if you asked me the plot of any episode I would NOT be able to tell you. and it’s because it wasn’t something I was really interested in. and of course, kids can be interested in shows and know a lot about them and then hit their teen years and not remember much about them later. but if they go back and absorb that content again? they see stuff they missed the first time, or stuff they definitly remember. hell, they might even sing along to A.G.L.E.T. because as everyone knows, pnf lyrics stay with you forever. (even if you haven’t heard the theme song in a decade you won’t forget the lyrics. that shit is hardwired into you from the moment you first see it.)

my point is, a casual viewer doesn’t do anything more than just… watch the show. hell, sometimes they don’t even watch it, they’ll have it on in the background while they’re on their phone or doing something else (couldn’t be me!!). watching the canon content just once gives them the satisfaction of starting and ending the show. they don’t go into detail about it. they probably won’t open an ao3 tab the moment the last episode finishes. they won’t make a tumblr sideblog dedicated to understanding the intricacies of character arcs, their goals and ideals and how they interact with others. they don’t care enough to do that bc it doesn’t make their brain go insane for more knowledge about the show. and as strange as it sounds, they don’t have it on their minds for that long. yeah, maybe theyll think about how nice the songs were in that s4 finale but after that, that’s it. they’ll move onto something else.

how I watched it

I watched phineas and ferb as a kid. I’m pretty sure I watched it when it first aired, too. perhaps not in 2007, it might have been the year after when it actually started premiering (nz airing is so far behind it’s not even funny). I watched it as it aired, and then grew out of it around the middle of s3. I got a little older, started watching different shows, and I was just generally doing other stuff. I have a vivid memory from 2012 when a kid from my class told me that pnf wasn’t worth watching bc the same thing happens every episode and my socially inept ass went “omg ur so right” and I stopped watching it. fast forward a couple of years and I hear that the show is like, actually finally ending. idk why but I remember it being in 2014, not 2015 when it actually did air (the pnf wiki doesn’t have the date for the nz airing of last day of summer so I guess we'll never know if it aired early or not) but I watched it and kinda just carried on with my other interests at the time.

around 2017, I start talking to an internet friend from the same country as me. we talked about our upbringings and stuff we used to watch on tv, and she brings up phineas and ferb. aha! I know that one! it encourages me to rewatch the show and before I know it, I’m shoulder deep. i mention facts about it to real life friends and family (“there’s a pnf episode where…”) and I go hunting for interviews and comic-con panels with the whole cast on youtube. you know how it is. I start going through the posts on tumblr and I find a sibling show of sorts – one that also has a crossover planned for 2018. I watch that show. I lurk in the shadows of the tumblr tag for a while. I start writing fic. I draw the characters on any piece of paper I can get my hands on.

it all comes to a head in october 2018, when I wrote a phinjeet fic called cappuccino, and one of my favourite artists EVER made fanart of it. and obviously, I had to put it somewhere. I’d thought about making a dwampy sideblog for ages and had no idea what to call it or anything, but this was all the encouragement I needed. I made the sideblog. I reblog the art. then I went through my likes and got some of the pnf/mml posts out. fast forward almost five years, and here we are. still just as insane, just with a new username.

in short — no, my experience watching pnf is not one of those typical of a general audience member. I mean, it would have been, if not for that fateful conversation with my internet friend that basically rebooted me and quite literally rewired my brain to be insane about this cartoon universe. I’m not by any means a casual viewer of this show. I know more than an average person would about it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adore this little community of ours. and being able to crack out of context jokes that come from the shows to older people who I know have never seen it, well, it’s a cherry on top.

both the GA and the fandom contribute to the culture staying alive

there’s certainly a way that the general audience keeps pnf alive, even if they have no idea they’re doing it. they’ll make very generic memes about it (you know the ones I’m talking about) and they’ll circulate the internet for a bit, reminding everyone about the show they watched casually as a kid. us, on the other hand, make very very niche memes about it. like hieroglyphics. and combovers. (see what I did there?) ours tend to stay in our little circulation, minus the ones that break containment. you get it in any fandom though, it’s certainly not limited to us.

as many times as you’ll see the posts that attempt to explain the ‘doof is phineas dad theory’, you’ll see just as many responses debunking it. or seeing dan and swampy debunk it, as they should. (honestly I think we need like crystal fucking clear evidence in the reboot to explain it otherwise it’s just gonna keep happening.)

the circulation of phineas and ferb itself through any means, be it memes or actual conversation that prompts a rewatch or even just a memory of the show, keeps the show relevant. I think one of the more notable ways this has happened is dan povenmire getting tiktok famous and basically reminding every older gen z kid about the show. to quote jeff swampy marsh – “plus there’s always reruns so the show will never die” – sure, disney channel itself barely exists anymore but reruns can also kinda be translated into disney+ rewatches or even just the passage of a meme on the internet.

phineas and ferb has stayed, somewhat, consistently relevant. I mean, think about it. since pnf started airing, there hasn’t been a year (except for 2021) where nothing has happened. pnf aired from 2007-2015, milo murphy’s law aired from 2016-2019 (which includes phineas and ferb characters so I count it as pnf content) and catu came out in 2020. dan’s own show hamster and gretel started airing in 2022, and based on the poster, I don’t think we’ll be missing any phineas and ferb characters at all. dan basically confirmed it. and truly, it’s what keeps the show alive, even when it’s not really there.

things in the show that the ga have very different opinions on, re:

candace and jeremy’s relationship

something the general audience haven’t caught up with yet is the way that candace and jeremy interact within the show. sure, if you haven’t watched it since you were 10 then you probably remember candace being like insane and loud about the boy she’s obsessed with. if you watch it again, you’ll see that jeremy is almost just as bad. it’s just downplayed because he’s not a main character. we don’t see his perspective NEARLY as much as we see candace’s, which might make it seem a bit more one sided or unrequited than it actually is.

in the episode “backyard aquarium” from early s2, we’re shown a montage of both candace and jeremy trying to ring each other for a whole day, until candace goes to bust her brothers and forgets about her phone for a little moment. this gives jeremy time to leave eleven messages for her. obsessed much? (it’s actually kinda sweet) and yeah, they’re teenagers. every feeling seems way more amplified than it actually is so both of them getting upset that they cant contact each other is pretty realistic, even if it is just played for laughs.

there’s a lot of really thorough characterisation when it comes to both of them. mostly with candace, obviously, she is THEE main character of the show so clearly she’s deep and very fleshed out. we don’t see it as much with jeremy but we get pretty good glimpses of it when it’s shown. he’s got the picture of her from “the bully code” in his guitar case. he likes her so much! he put her picture in the place he keeps one of his favourite things!! he’s down so bad for her! but of course, if you don’t actually pay attention or care especially about any of that stuff, you’re going to miss it and generalise about it. and it unfortunately applies to quite a few things in the show. sigh.

doof’s relationship with his parents

for real, fuck those guys. I think the ga are pretty aware of this part, and if you asked anyone to say what one of doofs backstories are they’d probably say “his parents didn’t show up for his birth!” or “he was a lawn gnome!”. both of which are specifically tied to his abhorrent relationship with his parents. but what they potentially don’t remember is how he still tries to gain their affections anyways. it’s the classic trope of not being able to cut off your abusers simply because you just can’t, morally. you still want to prove yourself to them and make them see you’re worth having around even if they never liked you in the first place. heinz tries very hard both in his youth and in the show itself to gain affection from both his mother and father. these include:

the teddy bear and trying to be good at kickball (thaddeus and thor)

the original gnome (fathers day)

even the fucking clip show episode from the end of season 3 (this is your backstory) where his mother comes back and he goes in for a hug and is instead greeted with a smack. hmm.

even just those examples are enough evidence that yes, heinz did actually really try with his parents even if they didn’t care. and again, it’s unfortunately played for laughs that heinz is constantly beaten down by almost everything around him but as we know, he gets a real family at the end of the show and things seem to work out well for him. does he get closure with both of his parents by the end of s4? maybe not his mother, but sort of with his dad. and yeah, maybe they’ll get into that in the reboot. but it’s definitely something the ga never noticed. it’s always about laughing at his tragic backstories, even if that is the point of them, not necessarily feeling bad for him and wanting to see him come full circle with everything that’s happened to him. and it does!

isabella and her one (1) personality trait

according to the ga, isabella garcia-shapiro is a one dimensional character who’s only personality trait is having tunnel vision heart eyes for the boy across the street. is your blood boiling yet? mine is! isabella is one of the most fleshed out characters in the show, with a large family and interests outside of phineas. hell, she’s the leader of her fireside girls troop which is a huge part of her personality. she’s brave and strong and gives ominous patch related threats to a man almost five times her age. but no, the general audience will only ever see isabella as the girl obsessed with phineas. I’m not discrediting this at all because yes, she’s obsessed with him. she’s a simp. definitely nothing wrong with that at all! but the ga claiming that it’s her only personality trait? get fucking REAL this girl is deep and gets upset and anxious and emotional about things that have nothing to do with the boy she’s in love with. even if it does have something to do with that, she carries on anyway because she’s strong as hell. it’s not the first time a character has been like that on disney channel — I mean, kim possible was pretty boy crazy but her crime fighting always came first, right? (really showing my age with that reference. wow) and I hate to reference act your age bc it’s vile but she doesn’t only ever spend her time moping over phineas as a teenager, she keeps herself busy and helps her mom at the restaurant and is an RA at her college and does a whole heap of other things! she’s multifaceted and it’s what makes her a really compelling character to watch. and watering her down into just the girl who likes phineas is a huge discredit to her character.

so, where am I going with this?

I’m not saying ever general audience member has to rewatch phineas and ferb a million times to understand every single character arc. hell, I’m not even saying that they have to rewatch it at all. there’s such a huge divide when it comes to it, and obviously not everyone is going to experience everything the same way. a lot of people simply don’t care enough to crack open the psyche of every phineas and ferb character to understand their motivations. that’s just the freaks (affectionate) who roam on tumblr, eager for media analysis of a childrens cartoon that ended almost a decade ago.

for a lot of us, it’s very satisfying to be able to analyse specific media. there’s writers and storyboard artists that put all that stuff in the show for a reason, right? it makes us want to see parallels and understand where a characters moral alignment sits and why exactly buford speaks latin. and for others, they’ll simply watch a show and move on. there’s no need for them for it to be on their brain 24/7.

overall, there’s a stark difference in the way people watch a show as iconic and culturally significant as phineas and ferb. the general audience watches it very differently to us, and that’s okay! it happens with any piece of media. there’s casual fans that watch something once and then the very not casual fans who have it on the brain constantly. and then there’s fans that have been very absorbed in the fandom and move on, which again, you’ll get anywhere. nothing about the dwampyverse fandom is limited to us, in terms of the way things go (not the source media itself. name one other show that has anything REMOTELY similar to pnf happen in it.) most people know the show, and most people don’t know about the insane and obscure facts about it, and I think it’s fantastic.

goodnight tri-state area. thank you.

[geminisecrets]

Soul Meets Body

Warnings:  18+ ONLY! NSFW! Explicit sexual content, coarse language, oral sex, smut, unprotected sex, alcohol, I think that's it???

Word Count: 6.8K

Summary: Just a smutty, wintery, friends to lovers, college Sam AU!

Authors Note: Surprise!!!!! It's Sam instead! We absolutely cannot write the Jake one anymore without hating it all and cringing, but we managed to crank this bad boy out in like 3 days instead so... we hope you like it!

Y’all are super duper fuckin' rad for telling us what you think about our stuff. ☯️

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“You’re such a drag,” Sam slurred, finally letting go of my hand, before shuffling back into the mass of dancing bodies. ‘I don’t dance’ is the understatement of the century. The idea of moving my body like that in front of a mirror, alone, in my room, is enough to make me cringe, let alone on a dance floor at a crowded bar. 

There was no bite in his tone, but I rolled my eyes at him nonetheless. He’s known me long enough to know that it doesn’t matter how many G&Ts I’ve had, I will not be joining him on the dance floor. I stay perched at the high top table we’d been drinking at for hours, now. As I shift my hips, I feel the indent I’ve molded into the velvet cushion. 

What I lack in confidence and a carefree social presence, Sam more than makes up for. It’s been that way since we first became friends. I met him a little over a year ago through our mutual friend, Danny. Dan and I were in the same chem lab during our freshman year and Sam was his roommate. The three of us became fast, easy friends and our individual friends melded effortlessly into our dynamic. 

We find ourselves, now, without those friends for the first time on a Saturday night, maybe ever. Sam and I had hung out alone before, sure. We’d studied together, ran to grab coffee between classes, helped the other stumble back to residence after a night out, but we’d never planned something like this. I don’t know if we ever would, had this opportunity not fallen into our laps. 

“A bar promotion, Sam? Seriously?” I’d asked.

“Come on, I know it’s not really your scene, but it’s December twenty-seventh. Everyone else will be home for Christmas.” He whined, puppy dog eyes in full effect, as he kneeled in front of my chair. 

“Sam–” I started, ready to beg him to stand back up and not make a scene in the middle of the library.”

“Just go with him so he’ll shut up, please,” Danny whispered, nose shoved deep in his textbook. 

“The tickets are free,” Sam continued, folding his hands and placing them neatly on my knees. “That old guy at the radio station gave them to me.” I stayed quiet, eyes searching his as I considered the plea. 

Sam and I would be the only two out of all of our friends to be on campus for Christmas. I hadn’t been on speaking terms with my parents for years and his internship at the local radio station prevented him from taking any time off this season. ‘The newbies get the holiday shifts, sorry, kid,’ they said.  

I knew he was going to win me over eventually. I had absolutely no reason not to say yes. No plans, no family to see, no other friends around. 

“I’ll buy you as many gin and tonics as you can handle,” he finally said, wagging his eyebrows, “maybe more than you can handle, if you’re lucky.” A grin slowly spread across my lips as my eyes squinted at him, really testing the waters to see if he was serious.

“Fine, deal.” I caved. 

“Yes!” He exclaimed a little too loudly for our current setting. Danny shoved his shoulder, nearly toppling him over, as I slapped a hand over his mouth, giggling quietly in the crowded library. 

The more I watch him, now, the more I really do, for once, wish I was the dancing type. He looks so genuinely happy singing along and swaying his hips. Uncoordinated and awkward as he may be, he’s having fun. It isn't until one of the girls next to him turns around to back herself into him that I felt a different feeling entirely. As she swivels her ass back against him, his eyes shoot to mine immediately. 

I wasn’t expecting that. I barely have time to change the look on my face, let alone wrestle with the feeling in my gut before his eyes meet mine. My knee-jerk reaction is to raise my eyebrows at him and smile, giving him a weak thumbs up to show I’m impressed. He laughs, tossing his head back and mocking me with a returned thumbs up. 

I look back down at my phone on the table and contemplate faking an emergency to get some fresh air. When I chance a glance back up at the couple, I regret it immediately. The knot of regret in my belly comes from two distinct places. First, I was seeing something I really didn’t want to see: Sam’s hands wandering low on her hips, his middle finger tugging on her belt loop, pulling her closer to him with the rhythm of the music. Second, I was face to face with exactly the feeling I’d been pushing down since the moment I saw Sam walking toward me with Danny a year and a half ago. 

I’d been trying incredibly hard for months to compartmentalize my feelings for Sam. I knew he was off limits the second Danny had introduced him to me, but as cheesy as it sounds, the heart wants what it wants. I’d forced myself to look the other way when he’d smile at me. I’d told myself the way he touched my side was nothing more than a gesture. I’d pushed down all the butterflies I’d feel when he told me a secret or brushed his hair behind his ear. 

But tonight? There’s no stopping it. It hits me like a brick wall. I’m face to face with the reality that I’ve been falling for him all this time. It’s as I feel my heart rate begin to speed up and my breath come a little less evenly that I know I have to do something. Leaving isn’t an option. Way too obvious and I don't want to ditch him. I go with option two and order myself two more shots and a double gin and tonic. 

With a deep breath and a quick prayer that it wouldn't all come back up, I down the shots and the drink in the span of sixty seconds. After a few deep breaths, I decided to stop ‘being a drag’ as Sam had so eloquently put it. I brush my hair behind my ears and make my way to the dance floor. I keep my phone and glass of, now just ice, in my hand like some sort of security blanket as I weave through the crowd. At first, I was sure I didn’t want Sam to see me; I didn't want him to notice that I had ventured out into the sea of bodies. Of course I don't really know how this kind of thing works. I’m relying completely on the liquid courage to move me. When I assume I’ve made it to the middle of the crowd, I close my eyes and think back to all the cliched instructions I’d heard before. Things like: don’t move to the music, let the music move you. And, pretend no one’s watching. 

The more I feel the alcohol in my bloodstream, the more those cliches start to make sense. I sway there for a few moments, hips feeling the beat, before I feel a body press up against my back. 

“Sorry–” I start, turning around to see who I’d bumped into. 

“You’re good,” a pair of bright blue eyes replies, smiling. “This okay?” he asks, hands moving to my hips as he swayed us along to the song. I nod, a blush rising to my cheeks as he brings my hands up to place them around his neck. He hugs me closer as the song changes to something a little slower, the bass thumping so loudly, I feel it in my tummy. The song is something I’d heard before. A classic, but some modern, bastardized version of it. I smile thinking about how much Sam must be hating it. 

I continue thinking about Sam. As Blue Eyes’ hands creep a little lower on my back, I imagine they’re his. As the bassline in the song begins to build, I run my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and wish it was longer, softer, lighter. When I touch the tip of my nose to his neck, I imagine this is how Sam smells, warm, soft, and a little sweaty, but I press my lips against it anyway. I feel the groan vibrate out of his throat as his hands dare to dip into the back pockets of my jeans. 

My heart begins to race. Muted, thumping, and heavy, I feel it deep in my chest. Longing. Desire. Carnal and raw. I’m starting to understand the appeal of not being a wallflower on nights like tonight. 

“Sam,” I murmur. 

“It’s Ben,” he laughs. I pull back to look at him, humiliation painting my features. “It’s okay,” he says, lips at my ear.

And that’s when I see Sam walking toward me with a surprised smile on his face. He winks at me and backs away, but as soon as he does, I want him closer again. I want him to feel how I felt watching someone else’s hands all over him. The logical side of my brain tells me he won’t care. He doesn’t have feelings for you like that, why would he give a fuck? But, the very drunk, much louder, side of my brain is yelling at me to try anyway. 

With a smile, I look up at Ben and shake my head, “I’m fine!” I assure him. With my hands on his cheeks, I press my lips to his. In the back of my mind, I’m willing Sam to still be standing there. Ben gives into me, holding me tighter as his lips slot into mine. Getting brave, I lick into his mouth. 

“Mmph,” he grimaces, pulling back, “gin.” 

“Do I taste like a pine tree?” I ask, trying to taste my own breath. He chuckles and nods.   

“I hot pine tree, but a very drunk one,” he states. “Where are your friends?” he asks. I look over his shoulder to see Sam standing by the bar, fiddling with his straw, trying to make it look like he’s not watching me. I’m sure he’s imagining this is what it would be like to see a unicorn or, more likely a train wreck. Ben’s line of vision follows mine and when he and Sam make eye contact, Ben nods, signaling Sam to come over. 

What was supposed to be a sexy attempt to make him jealous now makes my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I feel like a kid getting in trouble. Sam sucks the rest of his drink down and abandons it on the bar to stalk toward us, a smug look on his face. 

“Hey,” he says loudly, over the music, “you good?” he asks. I nod. 

“I hope I see you again,” Ben says, kissing me on the cheek before meandering away from us. 

“What was that?” Sam asks. I bury my face in my hands and lean my forehead against Sam’s chest, groaning. 

“I’m so embarrassed,” I mumble. 

“What?” He calls, clearly unable to hear me.

“Can you just dance with me?” I look up at him, asking pathetically. 

He feigns shock and delight, gesturing to himself dramatically. “Moi?” 

I roll my eyes and make an attempt to escape to the bathroom, but he grabs my wrist and stops me. 

“Hey, hey hey,” he chuckles. “I’m teasing. Of course I’ll dance with you.” 

I let him pull me closer. The song changes again to something with a little more soul. Another classic, but this time with much less autotune and unnecessary techno- drum tracks. 

“Finally, someone in this hellhole has taste,” he yells. 

“Enough,” I laugh, hugging my arms around his neck. He reciprocates, holding me closer to him and moving to the beat of the music. I still feel a little stiff, despite the fact that I can barely feel my feet due to the amount of alcohol in my system. 

“You’ve gotta loosen up,” he says into my ear. His hands travel to my hips and he sways them for me. He’s joking at first, dramatically rocking them right to left, but when I pull back to look at him, his eyes are burning holes through mine. “Like this,” he says. He nods his head to the beat, lip caught between his teeth and hands at my hips again, this time taking another step impossibly closer, chest pressing against mine. 

I feel it again. The butterflies, fluttering so rapidly I fear I might vomit them all up. Instead, I close my eyes and focus on the way his hands feel on me. They’re warm and big and they’re slowly digging harder and harder into the skin at my waist. 

He’s signing along now and he takes a big step back, grabbing my hands in his and spins me around so that his chest is pressed to my back. Immediately I feel a shift in the energy between us. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the way I practically feel his heart hammering against my back, but whatever it is gives me the courage to test the waters and press my ass back against him.  

He seems to approve and shows me just that by bringing one hand around to rest over my belly button and the other to brush the hair over my shoulder so he can press his lips to the shell of my ear. 

“There you go,” he coaxes. 

That really is all the encouragement I need to let my hips move on their own accord, grinding against him slowly and as coordinated as I can. It takes all my focus to get the rhythm down, but the way he moves behind me helps me keep time. 

My right hand moves to cover his on my stomach and the left grips his thigh as I brace myself, letting him keep both of us upright. The hand on my stomach bravely slips under the hem of my top, resting just above my belly button. My heart is beating so forcefully that I’m sure he can hear it. I let my head loll back against his shoulder and as I look up at the bright flashy lights in the bar, I begin to feel dizzy. 

“Fuck, Sam,” I say, holding on to his arm a little tighter to keep my balance. I try to communicate that I need to sit down or go home or really be anywhere but here in this hot, crowded, flashy bar. 

“I know,” he says, squeezing at my waist again, misreading my signals entirely, “I’ve wanted this for so long.” My eyes dart open and at this point I’m sure it’s the gin messing with my perception. 

“Yeah?” I ask, standing up a little straighter, turning back around slowly in his arms to face him. 

“Shit, is it okay that I said that?” He asks, eyes searching mine, but his are just as glossy and gazed over. 

“Sam, I think we should go,” I say, convinced that he’s completely delusional and possibly even more fucked up than I am. He cringes visibly and runs his hand through his hair. “Come on.” I take his hand in mine and lead him through the crowd, past the bar and to the coat check. I rummage through my pockets, but realize Sam has our tickets. He reaches past me silently and hands them to the girl behind the counter. In turn, she hands us our coats. We shuffle past the group of people at the door and step out onto the street. 

The second we’re outside, the better I can breathe. The urge to vomit subsides and I can think a little more clearly. 

“Fuck, it’s freezing,” he winces, walking briskly down the sidewalk. It’s clear that denial and avoidance is the route he’s choosing and, truly, I can't blame him, considering that was the game I played with my feelings for him for as long as I’d known him. 

“Let’s Uber, please, my fingers are going to fall off,” I whine. “There’s no chance I’m making it all ten blocks back to my place.” 

“Just stay at mine, it’s only three blocks if you cut through the park,” he slows down slightly, allowing me to catch up. “Plus, nothing sobers you up like the brisk walk back home,” he explains.

“Fine,” I relent, not in the mood to argue, “but if my fingers freeze off from frostbite, you’re going to have to type all my papers next semester.”  

The walk back to his residence is, in fact, brisk. It’s also relatively quiet. Other than a few remarks from both of us about how cold it is and how much we wish we were already inside, it’s silent between us. 

I shiver underneath the awning of his building as he fumbles with this keycard. Finally, he swipes it and we’re inside. I follow him up the familiar path to room three hundred and fifteen. When he unlocks the door, I find Danny’s side of the room completely spotless. Bed made, desk chair pushed in, even his nightstand is tidy and clean. 

Sam’s side, on the other hand, as usual, looks like a bomb went off. There’s laundry littering the desk and unmade bed and open books and vinyl records covering every other surface. 

“Do you want the bathroom first?” He asks, gesturing to the tiny ensuite to the left. 

“No, you can go,” I offer. He doesn't seem to put up much of a fuss and grabs change of clothes before shutting the bathroom door behind him. 

I suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable. The room is dark except for the light from the street lamps shining in between the slats of the large blinds and the small salt lamp on Sam’s nightstand. I hug my coat tighter against me and sit on the edge of Danny’s bed. I do my best not to get lost in my thoughts as I hear the toilet flush and the water run from the sink. 

I hear it over and over as I stare at the mess of sheets and pillows on Sam’s bed. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” 

Surely he was just wasted and horny. He would have said that to anything with a pulse at that point. The more I thought about it, the more I could practically feel him, warm and hard against me as he moved his hips against my ass. The click of the bathroom door opening shocks me out of my own head. 

“All yours,” he offers, stepping into the bedroom in nothing but a pair of old boxers. Slut. 

Two could play this game. I hadn’t planned on sleeping over, of course, so I brought nothing with me. I rummaged through Danny’s drawers until I found a baggy t-shirt and take it with me into the tiny bathroom. I haphazardly rub at my face with what I beg, is a clean washcloth and some warm water in a very lame attempt to take my makeup off. Part of me knows I’ll regret even trying in the morning, but two AM me could not care less. I swish a capful of mouthwash around in my mouth and pray that does the trick for the time being. I look around for a brush after I change into the t-shirt, but can’t find one.

When I open the door to the bedroom, it’s a little brighter. Sam had turned on the small lamp on Danny’s nightstand. 

“Brush?” I ask, assuming that between the two of them there had to be one kicking around. 

“Top drawer,” he offers, gesturing to his dresser as he scrolls on his phone from under the covers. I try to ignore the way his eyes peek over the top of the screen and land on my bare thighs. 

I follow his direction and fish out a paddle brush from the drawer. Mindlessly, I brush through my hair and mosey back into the bathroom to drink as much water from the sink as I can before turning off the light and crawling into Danny’s bed. I reach over and click the light off, realizing that, thanks to the walk home and the bastardized nighttime routine, I’m feeling incredibly sober at this point. I thank God that I’m going to bed drunk, but wish I was fucked up enough to be able to pass out easily. I know that’s not going to be the case tonight. 

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Sam finally says. 

“Thanks for asking me,” I reply, stretching my legs in an attempt to get comfortable in the foreign bed. 

It’s quiet. Really quiet. I can’t hear cars or people outside the window. I can’t even hear Sam shuffling in the twin bed next to mine. All I can hear is the faint ringing in my ears and the sound of my own breathing. 

I don’t know what time I eventually fall asleep, but when I wake up, it's the first thing on my mind. Before I even open my eyes, I hear him say, “I’ve wanted this for so long.”  It’s still dark out. I lie still for a few moments in the eerie quietness of the early morning before I can’t take it anymore. 

As quietly as I can, I slip out from underneath the covers, grab my bra and top off the floor and zip my coat up over Danny’s t-shirt. It’s as I’m slipping my shoes on, that I look up to see Sam rolling over. I freeze like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar and hear the low, evenness of his breathing again, insinuating he’s fallen back asleep. 

I allow myself a good ten seconds to take in the sight before me. The only light in the room is emanating from the dim salt lamp on his nightstand. God damn him for looking so soft and perfect in the low, warm, pink light. His hair delicately falls onto his cheek as though it was placed there for a photograph. His bare back rises and falls slowly as he hugs the pillow underneath him. His lips are plump as his cheek, pressed against the pillow, squishes them into a pursed kiss. 

He looks so beautiful, I’m afraid that if I stand there looking at him any longer, I’ll cry. So, instead I click the door open. I think I’m in the clear until I hear him sleepily call my name. Fuck.

“Yeah?” I whisper, turning back to look at him as he squints up at me, the harsh fluorescents from the hallway tarnishing the picture painted by the warm light of the lamp. 

“Where are you going?” He whispers. 

“Um–” I start. 

“You don't have to go,” he grumbles, sitting up. 

“No, Sam it’s okay, go back to–” 

“I can’t go back to sleep thinking you’re leaving because of what I said,” he confesses. He looks so gentle and genuine and docile sitting in the mess and tangle of blankets. I sigh and close the door behind me, accepting that I won’t be escaping easily tonight. 

As I drop my bag back on Danny’s desk chair, Sam turns the other lamp on, illuminating the room further. I can see him more clearly now. I can see the sleep in his eyes, but there’s an urgency behind them, like his mind is far more attentive than his body is at this hour of the night. 

He leans back against the wall, facing Danny’s bed, sheets covering him from the waist down. I can feel his eyes track me as I shrug my coat off, left once again in only Danny’s oversized t-shirt. I crawl into Danny’s bed and mirror his position. Facing him with the covers pulled up around my hips. It’s quiet for a moment, but the silence is saying so much. 

“I thought you were just wasted,” I grin, unable to make eye contact. He breathes a laugh out of his nostrils. 

“I was,” he confesses, “but…I stand by it. I’ve thought about pretty much that exact scenario quite a few times.” I can feel the blush rise to my cheeks as I pull my knees up to my chest and cross my arms over them. I rest my chin on my forearms and look directly at him, hoping that by making myself smaller, I can hide away from the very real panic bustling up my chest. “Please say something, you’re killing me, here,” he laughs uncomfortably. 

“I have too,” I finally admit. His face lights up at that and I feel my heart start to pound. I imagine it keeping time with his, the beats in sync with one another. 

“Yeah?” He smiles. I nod. “Cool.”

“Cool.” I echo. It’s quiet again and I can't help but notice the way he’s shifted in his bed, the blankets falling lower on his torso. 

“I really want to kiss you,” he admits, boldly. “Can I kiss you?” 

I nod again. “Yeah, you can kiss me.” When he doesn't move, I begin to feel dread rise in my throat before he says:

“I wanted to make a move but… you’re gonna have to come to me,” he says. “Don’t think I could, in good conscience, make out with you in Danny’s bed.” I laugh and throw the cover off of my legs, sliding off of the bed and taking the three steps over to Sam’s. He welcomes me by lifting his duvet, making room for me to join him under the covers. 

“Better,” he says, once we’re side by side. His hand reaches out to cup my cheek and he shakes his head and chuckles in disbelief as he leans in to press his lips against mine. 

Everyone always describes magical first kisses with someone as fireworks, but this doesn't feel explosive at all. It’s hot, yes, I’m warm all over, but I’d describe the heat more like lava. It’s slow, languid, all consuming. His hand moves from my cheek, around to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer, guiding me. 

Our kiss breaks with a smacking sound. “Sam?” I murmur. He hums in reply. “What about Danny?” 

“You’re thinking about Danny right now?” He pulls away to look at me, hand still in my hair. I can’t help but laugh, lips hovering over his. 

“I just– I don't want to fuck things up with our friends.” I admit. “Like will things be weird when everyone’s back?” 

A sly smile grows on his lips. “They already know.”

“They– how?” I ask, pulling back to see his face clearly. 

“No, not about– this–” he gestures between us, “but Danny definitely knows how I feel about you.” 

“Oh,” I smile. “Okay, and he wasn’t weird about it?” 

“Who do you think gave me the idea to beg you to go with me tonight?” He asks. That’s all the validation I need before climbing into his lap and kissing him again. The sound that comes from the back of his throat as I straddle his hips is enough to bring me to my knees. His hands grab at my waist as mine tangle in his hair. I can’t help but smile to myself as he sucks my lower lip into his mouth. It was starting to get pathetic, the amount of times I’d dreamt of this moment with Sam. 

The kiss gets heavy fast as I test the waters by ever so slightly swiveling my hips in his lap. His lips move to my neck as his hands on my waist replicate the motion by moving them himself. I can’t contain the huffs of air coming from my open mouth as he controls my hips just like he had when we were dancing at the bar.  

“Oh my God, Sam,” I whisper. He responds by biting into the flesh at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. 

“Lay down for me?” He asks quietly. I obey, climbing off his lap and resting my head on his pillow. 

“This okay?” I ask, lifting the baggy t-shirt up above my belly button, implying that I’m ready to take it off. Sam kneels above me, straddling my hips, looking down at the exposed skin and reaching out to touch. 

“What if I wanna do that part?” he asks. 

“You wanna take my shirt off, Sam?” I tease, returning the smile. He nods, reaching for the hem. 

“Um–” I take his hand in mine, stopping his actions. “Where are your manners?” His lips part like he’s about to speak, but then shut into a sly grin. 

“Well, excuse me.” He puts his hand on his chest, sinking down to sit on my thighs that are spread slightly below him. “Not very polite of me, was it?” He takes my hands in his and lifts them above my head until they’re pinned against the pillow. His lips hover centimeters from mine when he says, “May I, pretty please–”

“–with a cherry on top–” 

“–with a cherry on top, see your beautiful body?” 

“‘Course you can.” I smile, pursing my lips out to reach his. He kisses me back with fervor, hands trailing down my arms and down to my sides, sliding under my shirt. His hands are warm and calloused, but not rough like I’d expect a musician’s to be. He keeps kissing me as his hands explore my torso, finally cupping my breasts. I break the kiss with a gasp as he kneads them roughly, lips moving back to my neck. I hum out my satisfaction as he contrasts the firm grasp he has on me with gentle, wet, sucking kisses to my neck.  

His hands begin their path south as do his lips. I arch my back to accommodate him pulling the t-shirt over my head to toss onto the floor. 

“Perfect,” he mumbles, looking me over and leaning back down to press kisses to my sternum and down to my belly button. The fingers of his left hand move to hook into the waistband of my underwear and I feel panic rise up in me. 

“Wait, wait,” I gasp, grabbing his hand. Sam pulls away to look at me, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “I just… I’ve never…” 

“Oh, shit I’m sorry,” he tries to understand. “Oh, that’s okay, we don’t have to–” He sits up immediately, wiping the spit from his chin and running a hand through his hair. 

“No, no, I’m not, like– I’m not a virgin, I just,” I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for the words that are about to come out of my mouth. “No one’s ever–”

“No one’s ever gone down on you before?” He asks. I shake my head. “Ever?” He clarifies. 

“I mean I guess I don’t blame my boyfriend in highschool and the guy I was seeing last year just said he wasn’t into it,” I shrug. 

“But he probably expected you to blow him, right?” Sam asks, leaning back in toward me, his elbow resting on the bed between my hip and the wall. 

“Yeah, I guess. We didn’t date for that long, though, and–”

Sam interrupts me with a call of my name and then proceeds, “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do, but,” his eyes wander up and down my body and his hand sneaks below the fabric of my shirt, toying with the elastic of my underwear. “I really want to go down on you.” I feel the heat in my cheeks and I know I must be bright red. 

“You want to?” I question, finding it hard to believe. “I thought guys just put up with doing it. Like it was a chore or something.” The smirk that slowly rises to Sam’s lips will be permanently etched into the fabric of my mind. 

Sam clicks his tongue disappointedly, sitting up to hover over me once again. “You were wasted on such selfish lovers,” he says, lowering his body down on top of mine and kissing the skin just above my breast, his lips trail higher and higher, sucking a line of kisses up to my ear before whispering, “can I show you?” he asks, “can I show you how good it can be? For both of us?”

“Okay.” I breathe, tilting my hips up to grind against his, showing him how much I want just that. He groans into my neck as he grinds his hips down to meet mine. I can feel how hard he is and it makes me dizzy with desire. “Okay I want you to.”

“Promise me,” he confirms. 

“I promise,” I nearly laugh. “Believe me, I want you to.” 

“Okay,” he whispers, kissing my cheek. “Thank you,” another kiss to my jaw, “thank you,” kiss, “thank you,” kiss, until he’s pressing the most gentle pecks to the skin above my belly button. He looks up at me beneath his eyelashes and I can’t quite see him over the swell of my breasts, so I shift up onto my elbows, gaining confidence. 

“You look good between my legs, Kiszka,” I smirk as he, once again, hooks his fingers into the waistband of my underwear and pulls them down my thighs. Gently, he spreads my knees apart and gets down on his stomach between them. The confidence I had built from Sam practically begging to eat me out shrivels and dies the second he’s face to face with the most intimate part of me, but once again dissipates as he presses kisses to the insides of my thighs and pubic bone. 

“You look pretty good from this angle, too.” He says before finally licking one slow stripe up my center. He closes his eyes and I thank God because I’m sure the way I’m practically drooling and sweating watching him do this is the farthest from sexy I could get. Slowly and methodically, he licks up and down my center, getting me used to the feeling of his tongue on the sensitive skin. 

Just when I’ve started to collect my breath, he flattens his tongue and adds more pressure to his licks, flicking his tongue up at the end as he reaches my clit. 

“Oh, fuck,” my hips jump away from the mattress at the feeling of the tip of his tongue teasing me. His right hand moves from where it was at my side to flatten over the skin below my belly button, attempting to hold me still against the bed. 

He surprises me by alternating licks with gentle sucking my clit between his lips. I squirm underneath him, releasing my elbows from underneath me, no longer strong enough to hold myself up when I feel his finger slip between my folds. 

His lips and tongue focus on drawing firm, wet circles around my clit as his finger slowly slides into me. 

“I need you, Sam,” I moan with my face turned to the side, voice muffled into the pillow. “Fuck me. Please.”

“Gonna make you cum first, gorgeous,” he says, “can you do that for me?’ I nod. “Tell me,” he pleads, “tell me you’ll cum for me.”

“I will,” I promise as he adds another finger.

“You will what?” he taunts. 

“I’ll cum, I’ll cum,” I huff as his fingers pick up speed. 

“Cum for who?” He continues his interrogation. 

As I’m about to answer, he curls his fingers upward inside me, causing me to gasp and yell, “you! Fuck, I’m gonna cum for you.”

“Alright, alright, no need to shout,” he grins, using his lips to return to the work he’d started on my clit. 

“Fuck you,” I groan with absolutely no malice, gripping the sheets in my hands as he licks and sucks at me.

I know he can tell I’m close by the way he keeps his pace with his fingers and tongue and I cum around his fingers moments later. 

“Thank you,” I breathe as he kisses my thighs while I come down. “Come here,” I reach out for him. He crawls up beside me and kisses my cheek. I turn my face to the side and catch his lips in a kiss. I move to sit up and he makes room for me to press him back against the foot of the bed, straddling his hips. 

“I don’t think we’re very fairly matched here,” I say looking down at the layer of fabric between us.  

“Allow me,” he says, reaching down to pull his boxer briefs off. 

“Ah, ah, ah–” I stop him. “What if I wanna do that part?” I parrot his sentiment from earlier. He crosses his arms behind his head, fully relaxing into the mess of sheets and pillows underneath him. 

“By all means,” he smiles up at me. I lean down to kiss his lips as my hands palm the hard bulge between his legs. He moans into my mouth as I squeeze and pump his cock over his underwear before sliding them down his legs. 

My lips press against his cheek, down his neck and back up to his ear. “Are you gonna fuck me, Sam?” I ask, hand reaching back down to palm at his now bare cock. 

“Jesus,” he sighs as I lick the shell of his ear, gaining momentum with my strokes. 

“Hmm?” I press. 

“Yeah,” he says, “yeah I’m gonna fuck you.” I hum approval in his ear as I line myself up over him. 

“Gonna let me ride you?” I ask, teasing the tip against my center. 

“Yeah,” he breathes, “you think you’re ready to go again? Not too sensitive?” he asks, reaching down to brush his finger over my clit. 

“Fuck you,” I flinch at his touch, breath huffing out of me in a laugh. He leans up to kiss me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and his hand into my hair as I lower down onto him. I stay still for a moment, adjusting to the size of him before lifting up and back down experimentally. 

“Yeah, that’s so good,” he praises. I find a rhythm, bouncing up and down, feeling him slide almost all the way out before going back in again. I brace myself with my hands flat on his chest as he holds my ass in his hands and pumps up into me harder and faster. 

“Oh my God, Sam,” I huff, trying to catch my breath as he hits my g-spot over and over. I reach down between us to circle my clit, chasing the orgasm I can feel building again. When Sam notices, he sits up, causing me to fall onto my back on the bed as he repositions himself and before I have time to think, he’s moving behind me so that we’re both on our sides. 

“C’mere,” he says, taking my knee and lifting it under his forearm, spreading me open once again. “Can you hold your leg open for me?” he asks, pressing kisses to my neck as he repositions himself at my entrance. I agree, taking my leg, as he did, hooking in the crook of my arm. “Perfect, you’re doing so good. You’re perfect.” 

I rest my head down on the pillow as he slips back inside of me, finding that same rhythm, but this time, snaking his hand down under my arm to touch me. I feel his lips at my ear as he rocks his hips against me, dragging his cock in and out and this new angle feels even better. I know I’m not far from another orgasm, and that’s confirmed when Sam’s fingers trace down my stomach and start to circle my clit. 

Our breaths become more and more ragged and desperate as we climb toward release together. 

“I’m gonna cum again, Sam.” I whine, clenching around him and before I know it, that warm, tingly euphoric feeling is washing over me. Sam moans and curses, face buried into my hair as he pulls out and finishes in his hand. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, and it’s quiet for a few moments before he brushes my hair to out of my face and presses soft kisses to the back of my neck. 

“I don’t think I have the energy to change these sheets,” I admit. 

“Oh absolutely not,” he agrees. 

“Don’t tell Danny?” I suggest, motioning to Danny’s bed, implying that it’s a more suitable option for us tonight. 

“Don’t tell Danny.” Sam laughs in agreement. 

Masterlist

Taglist:

@doodle417 @gvfrry @spicedandicedtea @yeehawbesties @samkiszkalover @gretavansteph @saoirsemaeve @mannick @theweightofjake @basiccortez @lallisonl @sammiejane22 @loofypoofy @sammyslappers @gretavanfleas @jakeyboiiiiiii @angelqueen99 @keighoe @myownparadise96 @gretavanbitches @kittykiszka @s0livagant @hallecat17 @aconfusedhippie @katie-gvf @UnfortunatelyKristin @ageoferin @gretavanbestie @jordierama @writingcold @erin-rose-hackl @fuzzybatpersonafan @buttrry @mamalikesgvf

[astra-galaxie]

🧸👽💝💔🎭🖕😭 for fili savage please, i'll remember to send reese's as a thank you(just keep it away from fili, trust me, we don't want our favorite giant going down)

I know I’ve said this before (at least I think I have), but I always find it funny how a last-minute OC becomes one of my most beloved ones! And I love Fili, too, so I’ll always expect him to be a request when I do one of these prompts!😊

(Don’t worry, Fili will be safe from the chocolate since those Reese’s will go straight into my stomach!😉)

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

As a child, Fili didn’t have many friends, at least not many friends who weren't also his cousins. Due to being larger than the other kids in his classes, his obsession with plants, and being hospitalized on and off, no one tried being his friend. He did have one really good friend, a best friend, as he loved calling them. Sadly, they didn’t live in Ireland, but the two met when Fili’s friend was visiting Ireland with their family, and they became pen pals. Fili always looked forward to getting their letters and replying to them. The two are still friends to this day, and after Fili moved to the US, they were able to meet again.

👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of there

He loves singing Irish folk songs. Sometimes, it's just humming, but if he really gets into it, he’ll start singing softly. Fili usually does it when he gets lost in his work, but also to fill the silence around him. Occasionally, he’ll forget the full lyrics, so he’ll just repeat the same line over and over. But it makes him happy so others don’t mind listening to repeats.

💝 A headcanon about their love language

Fili’s love language is acts of affection. He loves doing little things that make people happy and vice versa, even if it's simply cleaning the dish. However, his other way of showing love is through gift-giving, specifically flowers. He loves growing people’s favourite flower(s) and watching people’s happiness when they receive them. He always gives his Starlight new flowers for the special vase in their kitchen, and it's never without a beautiful bouquet.

💔 An angsty headcanon

Fili never thought he would find love. One of his biggest dreams was to find someone to spend the rest of his life with and to start a family with them. And while he did have some good relationships during his early twenties, none ever lasted. Something always brought the relationships to an end, and Fili began to believe he was destined to be alone… But then he met his Starlight, and it was as if the (pun intended) stars had finally aligned, and fate decided it was time for him to meet his soulmate. Eventually, his family would grow, and Fili couldn't be happier. He wishes he could tell his past self not to worry and that everything would work out when the time was right.

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

Fili is a very honest man and doesn’t lie much (except about being a Mage, but that’s for obvious reasons). However, one secret he will NEVER admit is that he lied to his parents in high school to attend a party. While they were out of town for the weekend, Fili lied and said he stayed home and studied for exams when they asked him what he did while they were gone. Fili vowed never to tell them that he went to the party since they didn’t like the classmate who hosted it, and besides, he didn’t have fun and left early anyway. Hopefully, they never find out the truth…

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

While very much a “gentle giant,” Fili can get angry when the situation warrants it or if someone pushes him to anger. His anger is often represented as cold and intimidating as he tries not to yell or get violent. He knows his size is already threatening to others, and even if he’s angry, he doesn’t want to traumatize anyone. But that doesn't mean he won't use it to his advantage when he wants to. If you anger him enough and try to threaten him, Fili WILL put you in your place and make sure you know never to mess with him, his family, or his friends again.

(And he doesn't even need to use magic to do that, but it does help get his point across easier!)

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

When he was captured by SOMBRA and put under the control of the inhibitor chip, Fili was almost always aware of what was happening around him and what his body was being forced to do. Watching SOMBRA experiment on him, force him to fight their recruits, and being in constant pain caused Fili to start dissociating as a way to try and cope with everything. Even after being rescued, he still dissociates due to his trauma, but thankfully, not as often or for as long.

And that’s a wrap on this batch of Fili headcanons! I know many of my readers are excited for his return in The Conspiracy, so hopefully, this will help with the waiting!

[inklessletter]

I can't get out of my head this steddie fic prompt, but I don't think I'm going to have time to turn this into a proper fic, so I'll put what's been bugging me in here.

Modern AU, singledad!eddie is being convinced by his hyperactive, seven year old daughter Max to join this dancing class downtown because all his friends are there and apparently they're having a blast a couple times a week (not that she cares about silly dances, of course). And Eddie is mesmerized because he's tried for her to take up anything that helps her channeling all her energy but she never agrees to do anything, and what she's tried out before, it didn't do much for her. But Eddie thinks that it might be a good sign, (mainly because it's Max who's asking for it) and when he takes her to the studio, enter danceteacher!steve, high five-ing every kid coming in, and has this killer smile to every parent dropping their kids there.

So Eddie goes to talk to hot teacher Steve and sign Max up for a trial class, Eddie still being a little bit skeptical about if this is going to work for her daughter, so Steve invites Eddie to stay behind the glass, to take a coffee and judge for himself. And it's then and there that Eddie realizes that Steve is incredibly good with kids, he makes them engage, they are having fun, and they are all monkey-ing around, jumping, spinning, singing songs, focusing (at times), laughing out loud.

But Max, poor thing, has two left feet, and she seems so lost. Eddie can almost feel the anger building up in her because she's not really able to follow up the class. His friends and Steve try to help her, going slow, doing it easy and fun, but Max is short tempered and she ends the class almost in tears.

With a sigh, Eddie figures that's the first and only class Max is taking, reading after her mood, so he thanks Steve, and Steve tells him to come back anytime. But Eddie is shocked to the core when he sees the following day that Max is practicing the routine in her bedroom. She doesn't want to quit.

So she finally joins the class officially and Eddie gets used to staying and watching for a bit when the classes start. Both Eddie and Steve would be dirty liars if they denied that they developed a dynamic by engaging through the glass, sharing funny faces, eye rolls, secretive smiles and winks that has Eddie's ears blushing, when after a few weeks coworker Robin (who doesn't teach because she can't dance for shit but manages the place) tells Eddie, out of the blue, that Steve also give dancing lessons for adults, of almost any kind of dance, in case he's interested.

But Max is doing so well now, and Eddie doesn't want to jeopardize this in favor of giving in to his attraction for Steve, so, for Eddie, longing looks and this sweet dynamic is all he's going to get.

And the thing is, it is not even that secretive anymore. All moms there are invested in this story now, because they've seen too.

So after a few months, it's Lucas' birthday and the whole bunch are celebrating after class in the next door mall, in laser tag, and the angel that is Mrs Henderson promises to take care of Max, that he can have a couple free hours if he's up to it.

That's how Eddie decides to stay in the dancing studio, because even if he can't date Steve, he can talk to him, right? Or have a coffee together, or—

—or he can stand and gawk at the door of the class, watching Steve dancing on his own a smooth latin rhythm, like it's nobody's business and Eddie has never had felt so hypnotized by anyone since he witnessed the cheerleading routine back in highschool and fell in love with Max's mom right that instant.

And it's happening again, but he's not in highschool anymore.

He has a kid now.

A kid who is happy there, and nothing should change that.

Nothing, until Steve notices Eddie standing and wordlessly invites him to the dance floor. It's not until he's corrected Eddie's stance that he explains that this is a dance for two.

Hands in his hips, he teaches Eddie the basics, and fuck if leading in a dance whose partner doesn't know anything about isn't Steve's hidden talent. After a while, Eddie feels like an extension of Steve's body, and the lines that he shouldn't be thinking of crossing start getting blurry, especially when Steve pulls him closer with a hand in the small of his back, over and over again, or the heat of their bodies mixing, or the sound of embarrassed cackles coming from Eddie from time to time after Steve's praises, or the sweet scent of Steve's breathing colliding against Eddie's chin because they're this close while dancing in the dim lights of the lonely studio.

There's nowhere to hide now, the attraction is almost tangible, but Steve's a professional and Eddie is willing to sacrifice this schrodinger relationship if that makes Max happy.

But he can take up dancing classes with Steve, especially when he tells him, once the steam is off, that Eddie definitely has dancing skills.

So Eddie talks to Max if it's okay, and he's so surprised when she immediately agrees because she can be doing homework, or playing with Lucas and Dustin while he's in his classes, so, Eddie decides to torture himself a little bit more and joins in.

It's in the dancing lessons where they speak, where they get to know each other. It's where Eddie learns about Steve's idiotic sense of humor, or his dreams of having a big family because he loves kids, but it's hard for him because he can't really have them. It's where Eddie tells Steve about Chrissy's sickness, and her passing when Max was four and the little one became his whole world. It's when Steve invites Eddie and Max to have dinner at home someday, and Eddie agrees.

And it's there, at Robin and Steve's house that he learns that Steve really cares about Max, cooking her favorite meal, when she only mentioned once like three months ago. It's when he learns that Max is so comfortable with Steve's presence that she's not cranky a single minute of the evening, and Steve complies to play rummy because it's Max's favorite game after dinner. And she's laughing, and happy, and carefree whenever she's with Robin and Steve. 

And then, Eddie knows that he's fucking fucked, because he's in love with Steve.

So he has to make a decision and on their way home, he tells Max that he's thinking about dropping dancing lessons with Steve, and he's stunned when she asks why, horrified, telling him that she thought he liked Steve. And Eddie, honest to god, tells her that he does like Steve, a lot. And maybe he shouldn't be telling his seven year old all of this, but Max is his best friend, and he has been feeling lonely and heartbroken for so long, he has no desire to keep anything from her, even if she's too young to understand the magnitude of the problem here. So when Max simplifies everything by saying "if you like Steve, why don't you date him? He's nice, I like him, too. And Robin," Eddie can do no more but to ask her if she would be okay with letting Steve come into their lives, and Max is kind of weirded out by the question. It's when Eddie has to explain, in the middle of the street, kneeling before her, that he would never do anything, or let anyone come in their lives if she isn't comfortable with it, because they're a team and Max is his most favoritest person and she always will be, so of course he's going to ask her if any changes in their lives would be okay with her. And Eddie doesn't want to cry, and he manages, but his eyes are definitely glassy when he grabs Max's cheeks and tells her with a smile that he just wants her to be happy. But he can't control a tear falling down, when Max replies with a simple, yet hammering "but I want you to be happy, too, dad."

And it's with Max's approval and a heart full of love for her kid when in the next class, Eddie invites Steve to dinner at home, and Steve asks him if it's really okay. Eddie tells him with a full smile that it's okay for everyone. And Steve is excited because he's been hopeful for so long for it to be.

So they finally, finally kiss, and it’s absolutely magical.

It’s magical for them, and it’s magical for Robin, who is watching from outside, next to the seven or eight moms with their respective kids with their faces smashed against the glass pulling a mix of disgusted and excited and surprised faces.

Max is rolling her eyes. With a smile, though.

They are oblivious to this until wonderful Mrs Henderson yells “yay, finally!” and they are startled by the applause and whistling coming from them.

[tjsgreenteamints]

so fun fact for my public speaking class this year I had to give a speech on something I'm passionate about and why it's important to my entire class so I did mine on falsettos (slideshow attached)

"When most people think of a musical, they think of big jazz hands and kicklines and cheesy plots. What they are unaware of is how a musical can be much more than that. While big dance numbers are entertaining, music can be used to convey deep emotions and stories that just can’t be translated through regular words. Because of this, Falsettos is one of the most important musicals of our decade. It touched on topics most people in its time wouldn’t even talk about, let alone make a musical on. William Finn and James Lapine, its writers, were able to remind us that families can be much more complicated and deep than a husband, wife, and 2.5 kids. A lot of people don’t live inside that norm, yet it’s the primary one that is represented. Then you get a show like this, which explores conceited parents, difficult love stories, coming to terms with things that are hard, and coming of age. All of these are relatable topics. In this speech, we’ll get into the history, the characters, and the representation in Falsettos. “Love can tell a million stories.” This is the main idea of the show. Because there really are countless different ways a family can be. The show has some trigger warnings: AIDS, death, abuse, somewhat sexual scenes, and cursing. Also, spoilers ahead!

First, we’ll get into the history. The creation of Falsettos is rather unique compared to other musicals. It was originally a trilogy of three one-act, off-broadway musicals, all created by William Finn. All the shows take place in New York City, in the late 70s to early 80s. They center around Marvin, and him exploring his sexual identity. This is mostly what In Trousers (1978) focuses on, and how the women in his life helped him accept that. It was critically acclaimed as a flop, largely based on the topic it portrayed in its era. In the second installment, March of the Falsettos (1981), Marvin’s partner Whizzer gets more involved, and this act focuses on how their relationship affects Marvin’s ex-wife Trina and child Jason. Finally, in Falsettoland (1990), the dynamics of the family are shown much more, especially with Trina and Marvin planning Jason’s bar mitzvah. In 1992, the last two one-acts were combined into one full length show, simply titled Falsettos. (This was nominated for seven Tony awards that year!) The show had a broadway revival in 2016, which spread its popularity (and also what I’ll be referencing here). Also, the history behind the name of the musical is fascinating as well; According to a 2019 interview with SFist, Finn says he was “inspired by the idea of the falsetto — a man singing in his head voice outside his range — as a metaphor for people who exist ‘outside the normal range.’”

Next, the characters. Almost every character is a primary one, but the main character is arguably Marvin. He’s a possessive and insensitive man. He left his wife and child after realizing he wants to be with a man named Whizzer. He’s not exactly a good father and wasn’t a loving husband, but over the course of the play, his character development is prevalent and interesting to watch. Second, Whizzer is Marvin’s live-in boyfriend. According to Marvin, Whizzer is “delightful, stylish, and romantic,” but also “spiteful, sorta-kinda mean, and evil.” Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship is pretty toxic, but improves. Alternatively, there’s also Trina, Marvin’s ex-wife. She’s often described as insecure. A lot of her conflict is her coming to terms with Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship. Trina and Marvin’s son, Jason, is 10 years old, and thinks he is “too smart for his own good, and too good for his sorry little life.” Friendless, he plays chess all day, and has anger management problems. Finally, there is Mendel, the family psychiatrist. He was Marvin’s long-term therapist, but after Marvin insists Trina sees him too, Mendel immediately falls in love with her. Mendel honestly is kind of manipulative, but also a fun character to watch onstage. There’s also Charlotte and Cordelia, the “lesbians from next door.” They’re close family friends, and godparents to Jason. A large part of it is showing how real people behave, including the good and the ugly.

Now into how they’re all important as representation. The main theme is the various family dynamics and relationships- most of us can see aspects of our own families within the characters and plot. For example, in my own family my parents divorced then found new partners or remarried later and I have good friendships with them. First, there are three different types of gendered relationships as shown: a straight relationship, a gay relationship, and a lesbian relationship. Oftentimes in the media, the only kinds of relationships that are shown are straight ones. And for them to all be parents in some sort of way to Jason is even more important- it’s showing queer parents can be good ones too, which is a misconception many people hold (this is, that lgbtq+ parents are inadequate). Second, Falsettos touches on the AIDS crisis, which Whizzer contracts and later dies from. During the ‘80s it was a very big problem but now next to no one talks about it. How it’s portrayed in the show represents how it affected real families and people. Third, Jewish households. This year we all were able to read Night, which showed what Jewish people went through during the holocaust, but not what regular cultural home life is like. One of the main plot points is about Jason’s bar mitzvah, and how he’s not sure if he wants one or not. Jewish expectations and customs are brought up throughout the whole show.

To conclude, Falsettos is a fantastic installment to musical theater. It has original history, complex characters, and overall is an amazing testament to different types of American families. Not only that, its music and book are award winning, according to Broadwayworld.com. And this speech is really only the tip of the iceberg–there’s much, much more to it. Falsettos is definitely the musical you’ve been looking for!"

[immabethehero]

Bruno Definitely Has Friends

Guess who got inspirations like two effing hours before the deadline of @wdtajn! This brat!

I am once again forcing you to learn about my niche taste in musicals. This song, “I Have Friends”, is from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, probably one of the funniest and smartest musical dramedies I’ve ever seen. A lot of the songs are up on Youtube, go check it out!

Here’s the song this story is based off of:

Dinner at the Madrigal Casita means 14-year-old Bruno hopes his mother does not ask any questions regarding how his day went, or how his social life is going, or anything involving him, honestly.

Julieta prattles on about her grades in class, how she’s the top of her class, and how the other girls want her to bake cakes for their birthdays. Bruno glances at Pepa a few times, hoping to feel a sense of connection, but his sister simply continues reading her novel, ignoring everything.

“And what about you, Bruno?” Bruno nearly drops his fork when he hears his name. He nervously looks up.

“What?”

“How is school going?” Alma asks.

“Fine.”

“Have you made any new friends?”

Bruno hesitates. He could be honest and say no one has bothered to even acknowledge him at all this semester, and get lectured for it, or…

“Yes! I have friends! I definitely have friends!” he says. “No one can say I don’t have friends! They’re all coming over to a lil’ hangout session this Saturday.” He hopes his mother does not hear Pepa’s scoff, or notice Julieta raising an eyebrow.

Alma raises an eyebrow. “Really? I’ve never seen them come over. Who are they?”

Bruno racks his head for people that come to mind.

“Friends, friends, friendly friends, time to find some friends…” he mumbles/sings to himself…

“There’s Félix! Agustín! Consuela, she’s super into trompo and soccer!” Pepa snickers to herself behind her novel. Julieta shakes her head in shame.

“There’s a girl with a moustache, a boy with a port wine stain, and the janitor who lives in a donkey cart behind the school,” Bruno finishes.

Alma nods, disturbed by Bruno’s taste in friends. “Very well. I hope you… kids have fun.”

As Alma begins to talk to Pepa, Bruno drops his head on the table, relieved. He’s so tired from the interaction, he doesn’t even feel the roll of bread Julieta discreetly throws at him. Now all he has to do is find a way to bribe all six people to come to his house tomorrow.

*

“Bruno, one of these days you need to come out and socialize with the townsfolk,” Julieta advises. “You’re never going to find friends if you don’t.”

50-year-old Bruno buries himself deeper into his hammock. “I’m fine with that, I have all the friends I need.”

“Family members don’t count. Neither do your rats.”

Bruno swings out of the hammock and confronts his sister. “I have friends! I definitely have friends! Objectively, I can say that I have all the friends! Human friends at that! They’re coming over to my house tomorrow night!”

“Oh yeah? Like who?”

Bruno snaps his fingers in thought. “Friends, friends, friendly friends, time to get some friends…” he mumbles/sings to himself. Julieta watches him apprehensively.

Bruno quickly resorts to all the people he “interacted” with yesterday. “There’s Matias, Vincent, Señora Hernandez, she really likes to raise the roof. The lady who trampled me with her wheelbarrow, Agustín’s friend from the music shop, and the grocery clerk with half an eyelid!”

Julieta narrows her eyes suspiciously. Bruno hides his shaking hands under his ruana, smiling strained.

Finally, she sighs and walks away. “OK then. I hope you guys have fun.”

The minute she’s gone Bruno pumps his arms in the air, singing and dancing to himself. He doesn’t even acknowledge the cheese Julieta throws at him. “Yes! I have friends, I definitely have friends! Friends, friends, friendly friends, I have all the friends! Whoo!”

All he has to do is bribe all six people to come over tomorrow night.

[dearestones]

Muscle Memory Part Three (Azul Ashengrotto and Reader)

Warnings: Exploration of merfolk culture, elaboration on certain aspects of canon lore, bullying, mentions of blood and gore, etc. 

@lottieinlimbo Request: Hi Devin!!! Congratulations on the 750 followers :D!! Your writing is incredible, you have more than earned your success!!!! I’m here to steal the final request slot! There were a lot of cool prompts that would have been fascinating with multiple characters, it was hard to choose! But I’m thinking “why did you help me?” With Azul could be really fun, maybe something platonic? I’m really excited to see what you do with this, congrats again on 750 followers!!

.

.

.

To be clear and frank, you were a physical therapist interning at a government facility on a small island not many people knew about. You were not a teacher. You were not meant to be someone others sought out for counseling. That said, you did attend a workshop about empathy and you completed a semester on the principles and strategies of health education. If pushed to it, you could teach a class on how to prevent injury during exercise and what to do after recovering from hospitalization, but you wouldn’t say that you were qualified to settle petty squabbles between teenagers. 

The day started out like any other. You woke up, went into the cafeteria after grooming yourself and had enjoyed a meal that was savory and warm. After a cup of coffee, you retreated into the labs to take stock of the recently delivered potions and reviewed your notes from yesterday. The session with your batch of merfolk wasn’t until the early afternoon (mornings usually consisted of lectures on land culture, reviews of previous lessons, and perhaps a few quizzes if their instructors were so inclined), but you wanted to be at the top of your game. You were one semester away from graduating and that meant that you couldn’t tolerate any mistakes. 

Soren, an early riser like you, teased you for studiousness until you reminded him that he was the same. 

“I always wake up early.” He defended himself. “Unlike you, though, I happen to be spending most of my time playing games.”

He then shoved his phone in front of your face until you were assaulted with images of famous idols dancing and singing to the most popular music. Try as you might, you ended up spending a half hour watching memes and making crude jokes before the both of you finally settled down. 

At some point, your supervisor had bustled in, face shiny with sweat and her eyes preoccupied with important matters that you and your fellow intern had refrained from making a smart comment or a joke. It was clear from the beginning of your internship that while your supervisor was nicer than most, there were still limits to her mercy and that if she showed signs of taking her job seriously (not that she ever fully let her guard down since there was always a risk of lawsuits), so should you. 

Upon seeing the both of you, she charged forward and set a sheaf of documents upon the lab table. As one, both you and Soren took in the contents and then—

“Damn,” Soren whistled. “You seriously weren’t kidding when you thought one of yours would end up quitting. I thought the second day quitters were a myth.”

Your eyes traced over the letter that she had submitted. It was well written, if a bit hastily scrawled, but there was a hidden strength in your classic mer’s words. It was brief, but Adria conveyed how happy she was to have received this rare opportunity to attend land boot camp, but she realized how much commitment and sacrifice it took to live between two seemingly different, uncrossable worlds. After explaining that she was not strong enough to continue with the rest of the training, she ended up thanking you personally by name. 

After confirming that you were done scanning the letter, Soren turned it over to find that there was a signed NDA. 

Of course, there was no need for bad press considering nothing bad happened yesterday. 

Just a scared little girl who needed more time to process. 

“You get used to it, Soren.” You put Adria’s file into a cabinet for future safekeeping. Knowing the bureaucracy and red tape that governments were so fond of, you didn’t doubt that they had already scanned and uploaded the letters and pertinent documents into a virtual archive. “Some merfolk love the idea of getting legs, but don’t understand how much pain and willpower it takes to achieve it for full time use.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved you off. “I saw you eyeing the other groups yesterday. What do you think? Other quitters in our midst?”

You shrugged, not wanting to contribute to such negative talk about the merfolk. It wasn’t their fault that accessibility to the transformation was fraught with complications and pain that had not yet been fully circumvented. 

“I think all three of mine are staying… and if I’m not mistaken, I think your twins are staying too.”

Soren rubbed the bridge of his nose before shooting you a dark look. “If you say it, you’re manifesting it. Shut up.”

“Isn’t it our job to convince them to stay?”

“Shut up!”

After a brief lunch, Soren, your supervisor, and yourself made your way back to the boardwalk. Today, the three of you were early, which meant that you and Soren were busy splashing each other in the water while your supervisor studied the beach for any misplaced trash or pretty shells. She wasn’t strict, relatively speaking, but it shocked you sometimes to see that she could look so approachable when she wasn’t busy delivering live demonstrations or lectures. 

Pretty soon, though, your brief fun was cut short when your students began swimming in from their underwater dormitories. You had only been down there once during orientation: it was a series of grottos and underwater caves that could be lit or kept dark depending on the type of mer’s preferences. The bioluminescence was controlled by magic that could be invoked by a simple incantation. For those who were magicless, they simply needed someone to aid them. 

Once again, you stationed yourself upon the far end of the boardwalk, your three mers either floating or trying to wriggle up the boardwalk to paw at the cooler. You gently nudged the interloper away (the angler fish was a tad more mischievous than you thought she would be) as you stated that no one should be messing around with equipment especially provided by the government. Rules were supposed to be enforced, you reminded all three of them. Even if they meant no harm, it was still best to err on the side of caution. 

Potions could be volatile if not handled correctly and the risk of drowning was still high even if they were born to swim. 

“With that out of the way,” you took a peek at your roster and pulled out the second name on your list, which happened to belong to the angler fish, “since Azul was so kind to volunteer himself to be first yesterday, we’ll have Pacifica as the next volunteer.” 

The teenagers snickered amongst themselves as the angler fish mer steadily drew herself up to the boardwalk and held out a clawed hand. Carefully, you gave her the vial and watched as she neatly uncorked it and tipped the contents into her gaping maw. 

Like yesterday, it was apparent that she was in great pain. However, while your assigned spotters had to make sure that she remained upright and above water from the previous session, she had enough presence of mind to grasp onto the boardwalk and breathe steadily through the pain. As expected, she had become a little more tolerant of the pain. 

“Excellent,” you praised her. She beamed up at you, sharp teeth still on display, but you were confident that you were not in harm’s way. You turned towards the rest of your students and waved them away. “I’ll focus on her for now just to make sure she remembers the basics. Keep to yourselves and don’t bother the other groups.” 

At their nods of assent, you retraced your teachings of treading water, which would hopefully lead into learning how to float and swim in the water. 

For a while, it seemed that all was going according to plan. It had been almost five minutes and she was already showing considerable growth in both her speed and reaction time when it came to her human body. The angler fish mer was resilient and keen on trying out how to swim and had been excitedly clicking her jaws in delight when she began to sniff the air experimentally. 

Most animalistic mers, particularly the predators, had a keener sense of smells than most humans and were on par with both beastman and several species of fae. Of course, with the addition of the transformation potion, you would think some senses were muddled, but every mer that had taken the potion had mixed results concerning what was lost and what was retained. 

Even the mermaid princess had lost her voice before her father had given her enough magic to return it to her. 

That said, you wondered what had caught her attention. Was it a prospective meal? Or—

She snapped her face towards you and for once, you felt yourself gulp at the serrated teeth jutting out of her mouth in an overbite that could only spell trouble. 

“Someone’s bleeding.” 

You felt the chill of reality envelope your entire being as you surveyed the area. Every worker at this facility, especially the ones who worked closely with the merfolk, were aware of the risks. Prey could be just as dangerous as predators if pushed, which meant that even the most affable of mers needed to be taken seriously. 

You helped the angler fish mer into the boardwalk to keep her out of trouble and so she could start splashing the water to keep her active before you scanned the water for any anomalies. So far, nothing, but you could tell that the other two groups were becoming antsy. 

Hurriedly, you approached your supervisor, her aged face wrinkling in dismay. 

“One of my students smelled blood.” 

She nodded to you, immediately understanding the situation. Her batch of merfolk consisted of the older generation with one other who was closer to you in age. Under hushed tones, she gestured for them to keep themselves and to continue treading water. One of the older male merfolk spread his arms wide, treading the water without holding onto the boardwalk for support.

Your supervisor hurried over to your fellow intern, who was busy trying to stop two—two?—eel merfolk from dashing away to your side. You wanted to check out why they were so agitated, but your own batch of merfolk required your utmost attention. You only saw the brilliant flash of dark green tails diving underwater before Soren began barking out orders to resurface.

Three predators to one prey.

That would make at least nine predators in the entire group and if the eel merfolk were any indication, that would mean at least seven others were going to be just as restless.

Thankfully, your angler fish mer was sitting rigidly on the boardwalk, her feet submerged but motionless under the water. You couldn't blame her for not training her muscles. Her face, while expressionless, was stone cold with concentration and you saw that every time she flexed her fingers upon the wood of the boardwalk, bits and pieces would flake off into the water. It was apparent that she was doing everything she could to not move from this position.

The scent of blood must be close.

As much as her restraint filled you with relief that she wasn't moving anywhere, you were still very much aware that you had three students because one of the classic mers quit. Where was the other classic mer and the cecaelia?

Your mind immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. Had the cecaelia finally decided to bite back at the classic mer? Strange, you could have sworn that there wasn’t any animosity in the group yesterday, except for the wary tension between the cecaelia and the angler fish mer. The fright from Adria yesterday shouldn’t be an impetus for today’s mishap, right? She was gone and as far as you knew, the other classic mer hadn’t itneracted with the cecaelia at all. 

Despite your racing thoughts, you didn’t want to waste time. 

Diving into the lowermost portion of the cooler, you picked up a vial that was to be used only in emergencies. It was a potion that helped surface dwellers breathe underwater. This single vial was horribly expensive, but the effects were immediate and could last up to an hour if used correctly. You had no time to recall your training; you took off the stopper, threw back the potion, and then dove into the water once your mouth began to close and gills carved themselves into your neck. 

Another thing that was great about the water breathing potion was that it mimicked what it would be like to have heightened senses like a mer. Humans or any land dweller wouldn’t gain fins (not unless they had a true transformation potion), but they could hear, speak, and breathe underwater. Eyesight was also heightened and there were some people who thought that their sense of smell was also strengthened, but there was still research done into this topic. 

Because these potions (alongside the transformation potions) were highly regulated, you had only used this potion at least five times before. The first three times were due to practice and to acclimate you to its effects should you need to dive (literally) into an emergency but the last two were because… 

Sometimes, the screening for the merfolk was not stringent enough. 

It was rare, but sometimes a few bad eggs happened to slip through the cracks. Speaking ill of other land boot camp operations wasn’t a hobby of yours, but during those two emergencies, you knew for certain that sometimes, the stress of adapting to new things combined with basically competing with other merfolk facilitated an environment that could potentially lead to infighting. Most operations made sure to group merfolk based on the zones they came from, but it was most apparent between the pelagic and benthic zones (although, it was rare for mers to come from the deepest parts of the ocean). 

Most predator and prey mers had long since learned how to coexist in an uneasy truce (quite like how the different species of beastfolk learned how to live under one rule), but it wasn’t uncommon for fights to become deadly. 

Equipped with that knowledge, you allowed yourself only a few seconds to get used to the sudden physiological changes in your body, before opening your eyes and heading towards the source of the merfolks’ discontent. 

What you saw shocked you. 

Underneath the waves, you had expected to see a trail of red blood drifting like spilled ink throughout the underwater environment. However, what you didn’t expect to see was thin, whispery swathes of royal blue wisps dancing in the water and spreading like wildfire. You gasped, shocked, as you traced the royal blue liquid to the source…

What was even worse than the sight that you held before you, was the shouts and keening whimpers from the two merfolk who were currently locked in battle.

Actually, that was a mistake of perception on your part. 

It wasn’t a battle or even a struggle for that matter. 

At the bottom of the sea floor, the cecaelia was curled into himself, his limbs protecting his torso and his head. Two of his octopus arms were loosely curled around the tail and torso of his attacker. At first glance, one would think that Azul was squeezing tightly, but it was quite apparent that even if he were doing that, it was out of self defense.

The remaining classic mer, a male, was biting and punching at Azul's arms, his nails somehow piercing through the thick skin that was slick with slime. Azul, was trying to curl into himself while simultaneously extending the arms that held the classic mer far away from himself. Due to his efforts, it seemed that most of the damage was concentrated around those two main appendages, but you saw the same tendrils of blue blood lazily stream from scratches upon Azul’s pale chest and upon his cheek. 

You were horrified. 

For a moment, your body refused to move, your eyes wide with horror. However, just as you were stuck floundering with what you had to do (your inexperience as an intern inevitably rearing its head for the first time in a long time), your eyes were caught by a pair of bright blue pupils. 

Azul, who was trying to curl into a ball and stem the blood flow from his wounds, seemed to shy away from your gaze. Despite the helpless situation that he was in, you couldn’t detect a cry for help or even the same sort of determination that you often associated with him considering how much work he put into kicking and treading yesterday. No, instead, you were stunned into silence at the resignation that lay heavy in his eyes.

All too soon, Azul's gaze drifted back to his attacker, the grip that his arms had on the classic mer gradually slipping from the effort that the other mer was using in order to both escape and attack.

"Stop!"

Without so much thinking of the consequences, you uttered a short incantation meant to incapacitate and another to separate the two mers. Although you didn't often advertise your adeptness with magic, magical proficiency was one of the few skills that was guaranteed to get you far. Technically speaking, you didn't need to know magic to become a physical therapist (be it for the merfolk initiative or not), but it was a boon to have. In fact, with the way you raved about merfolk culture and how much you wanted to help out your dear friend Shelley, your parents and other close friends thought that you would participate in the science of transformation potionology with your ample supply of magic that coursed through your veins.

That was simply not the case.

Potions were one thing, but they were notoriously complicated and it often took years of experimentation and trials before change could be enacted. For someone like yourself, you wanted to be an inherent part of a mer's experience when it came to helping them adjust upon land. You had your eyes set upon physical therapy long before you knew what it meant. 

Helping Shelley was the step in the right direction and you had kept walking that same path all these years.

In a way, aiding merfolk this way had become nothing short of muscle memory: unconscious and immediate instinct honed from practice.

The invocation of a third level spell was more than enough to tear the merfolk apart while also simultaneously pinning the male classic mer to the ocean floor. Satisfied that your magic would hold, you furiously swam to the cecaelia, fully intent on scanning him for injuries.

Amidst the shouted obscenities, threats, and slurs against the cecaelia, you heard baseless accusations of Azul driving the other classic mer away from the boot camp. In helpless resignation, you could only watch as the young wounded mer curled into an even tighter ball now that all ten of his limbs were free to protect himself. Had you not been paying attention to him the entire time, you would have thought that he was melting into the ocean floor with the way his skin effortlessly blended in with the environment.

One of the masters of camouflage, you remembered reading from your mother's textbooks. Second only to cuttlefish.

"Azul," you whispered. You tried to speak louder, to overcome the angered yells from behind you. Normally, you would cast another minor curse amid the other spells to shut the classic mer up, but your mind was too frazzled and you were more focused on Azul's comfort than on the other mer's anger. Furthermore, you hadn't seen a reason to bring your magestone with you, often opting to leave it in your dorm room because you rarely used magic. Because of your lack of foresight, though, the sting of blot was only barely noticeable against the backdrop of anxiety and stress.

Breathe, you had to remind yourself as you had so often reminded your students.

In through your nose.

Out through the mouth.

"Azul," you said again, but you were not surprised to note that your attempts yielded no reward.

Before you could beat yourself up, you instead focused on the blue blood steadily drifting from his wounds. Despite the fact that his limbs were tightly around himself to make his body look smaller, you were able to separate some of his octopus arms so that you could assess the damage by gently rubbing and patting his skin, careful not to apply too much pressure or to move erratically.

Of the arms that he decided to loosen around his body, he only obliged with six. For the rest of his appendages, he continued to hide his face away or to wrap his torso and tighter and tighter... almost as if he were hoping that he could become a rock to accompany the rest of the landscape.

As you continued to clinically catalog all of the scars that would have to be noted in his file later, you heard your supervisor speaking to the classic mer while Soren swam up to you, his face lined with worry and in his hands, a medkit.

"That bad?" You muttered.

Soren sighed.

"The paperwork is going to be worse."

Together, the two of you tended to Azul while your supervisor called for security and the immediate removal of the classic mer from the land boot camp program.

.

.

.

Tagging: @missam

[PART ONE] [PART TWO] [PART THREE HERE] [PART FOUR]

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

[ode2cheol]

big deep breath OK SO . ive been so excited for this comeback like idk with every new cb i feel like i get even more excited than with the precious one yk so i was really waiting for it to come out!! they released the mv while i was in class (they hate me) but during a little break not long after i managed to watch it and i was bobbing my head and swinging my feet at the sound LJKE U DONT GET IT I WAS GENUINELY SO HAPPY

honestly this is one of my fav svt albums and idk it just makes me so happy all the songs are so perfect and good there's not a single one i don't enjoy and the aesthetic is so cute and im so excited and impatient to FINALLY HAVE MY ALBUM IN MY HANDS ARGHHHH but yes this was such a success im so happy they broke so many records and they just continue to prove how talented they are wooooo

for the songs there isn't one i dislike at all but i really like SOS idk the beat js so nice and the lyrics are really good and this may be also due to me loving marshmello when i was younger but STILL !!! Diamond days makes me SOOOOO NOSTALGIC i love it so much im so glad they used kind off the same sound/sample as Shining Diamond im in love 💔💔 i think back 2 back is my fav song of the album!! i love minghaos highnote and the beat and just the overal vibe idk it stood out to me sm their voices fit the song so well im obsessed with the part around 1.30 where dino and hao sing in like a low voice? YGM BUT ITS SOOOOO GOOD just the entire song is so good i think tbh i have a soft spot for pu songs 😭😭😭😭 i haven't had much the time to really analyze yawn but the soft voices and vocals are heavenly i genuinely passed away BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BREATH 💔💔💔💔 LIKE WDYM UR MY BREATH WHY IS THIS SONG MAKING ME TEAR UP DONT EVEN LIE RNNN monster is such a fun song i just know I'll play it on repeat like fire while im walking to uni to wake me up and get me in study mode 💥💥💥 it's giving Halloween vibes and im here for it!!!! it's also just fun to me because my roommate/bsf and i bet on who sang the first line and she swore it was gyu and i swore it was vernon and today we didn't see each other much so like 1h ago she told me she saw in a lyric vid that gyu sang that line and i was like ??? girl i have weverse and i follow it religiously so ik it's both of them AND WE COULDNT AGREE BECAUSE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY PROOF so i ended up showing her weverse and it was so fun we were both right in the end and we did a silly dance LMAOOAOOOO IT WAS SO FUNNY 😻😻😻😻 but lemme tell u about headliner. FUCK THAT SONG BRO WHY AM I CRYING ??????? no it's actually my fav song along back 2 back like are u actually kidding me ???? this song makes me wanna study even more for my Korean classes like FUCK HEADLINER SO BAD 💔😭😭😭😭😭 I CRY AND LAUGH WITH YOU THIS NIGHT💔💔💔💔💔 WHERE WE OFFER ALL OUR LOVE💔💔💔💔 HOW BEAUTIFUL💔💔💔💔💔 BEVAHSE YOURE MY HEADLINER 💔💔💔💔💔 this moment when we shine together don't lie rn I'll actually kms and take a bath with my toaster like wow jumping of the 9th floor of the apartment building next door seems like such a fun activity today 😻😻😻😻😻😻

RIGHT OMG I WAS LITERALLY TUNING IN EVERYDAY AT 12 AM KST TO SEE IF THEY DROPPED FHE ANNOUNCEMENT AND WHEN THEY DID I WAS SOOOOO HYPED ‼️ like fml was SO huge i couldn’t wait for this one ALSO THE MV LITERALLY RELEASED DURING A PRACTICE FIRE DRILL FOR ME 😭😭

it genuinely is one of my faves too, like although the songs aren’t necessarily my fave of each unit (i still LOVE each one) the album was just so well put together ?? everything flowed perfectly and like usually it’ll take me like two or three listens to like some songs but i listened to the album start to finish ONCE and fell in love w EVERYTHING i’m not even kidding ❤️‍🔥 I CANR WAIT FOR MY ALBUMD TO GET HERE AYSHSHAHDJHS

right like there wasn’t a bad song at all !!! my fave has to be headliner bc it’s just so fucking emotional like woozi why u got me crying on the train home 😐😐😐 it gives me MAJOR our dawn is hotter than day vibes which i love sm !! the whole album vibes reminded me a little of you make my day a little i think it’s just me but yeah ‼️ i LOVED back 2 back too omg perf unit ALWAYS hits and YAWN OMG 😓 every track was amazing 😓😓😓 STOP THE DEBATES ON THE MONSTER FIRST LINE LMFAAOAOAO 😭😭 speaking of monster, cheol’s part.. changed me . i loved SOS too omg it gave such like band vibes ??

ALSO HELPPPPP HEADLINER’S LYRICS OMG 😓😓 my mom heard me listen to it and said “girl why are u listening to such sad lyrics..”

[axailslink]

Just throwing out an idea but like maybe an imagine/series (your choice) where the reader is a dancer who wants to dance to one of Jamie’s original songs 🤭

Runaway Hearts

Jamie Harrison x FEM reader

Summary: you're a dancer who attends the same school as Jamie and you want to partner up with Jamie for a song but you realize Jamie might be more interested in you than just your dancing. Of course this isn't a problem.

Your day usually ends with a bit of stretching and a dress change before you head home to your shared apartment but today there's another task on the list it's to talk to Jamie Harrison about a project. You're pretty sure she's going to have plenty of dancers wanting to do one of her original songs because her voice is beautiful but you want that spot and you'll do whatever is required to get that spot. So here you are standing outside of the class watching as she grabs her things and you're planning the interaction as you stand at the end of the hallway. You watch the others start to leave the room and when you see her you walk forward looking at your phone when her shoulder bumps yours to you immediately apologize "I'm so sorry oh Jamie well I needed to run into you anyways" she nods "it's fine I'm sorry too and what about?" You smile as you've finally gotten the chance to see her up close to talk to her "there's a project I have to do and I would like you to be a part of it" she's curious now her eyebrows are furrowing as she holds her bag. "What's the project?" You smile "the dancers are supposed to find a song and express it through dance and I wanted to do one of yours." She blinks a couple of times before smiling widely "you're kidding me...one of mine?" You nod and she smacks her hands to her face before smiling "I'm sorry that's just so unexpected what song?" You shrug "any of them I love your voice there's so much emotion in it." You realize you're staring and turn your gaze to your hands "and I was hoping this would somehow let me get closer to you." She smiles and nods but misses the whole point "sure I'm still on campus until the bus comes down here I could show you now?" You nod "or I could give you a ride home and you could show me there?" She smiles nervously and nods "yeah."

You two share these nervous stares you're never nervous but with her it's all you can be. "Uhm yeah I'll give you a ride home come on my car is outside" of course it's outside where else would it possibly be? In the air perhaps? You interlock your arm with hers simply because you have a faster stride than she does but it doesn't feel like that to her she just stares at you the admiration in her eyes very noticeable but you aren't paying any attention. This woman shorter than her just guiding her through the hall she's whipped immediately as you confidently guide her she watches everything about you in the moment the way your walk has a bounce to it and the way you confidently keep your head high. She's in love just like that she's in love.

You lead her to her car and only then do you let her arm go "sorry didn't want to lose you" she just smiles when you unlock the car, turn on the heat and turn towards her "are you good? Are you warm enough? I got a cover in the back" Jamie shakes her head "no I'm alright anyone ever tell you you're really sweet?" You smile and shrug "that's just the way I was raised mama did good on her own. Jamie smiles at that comment even though deep down it hurts her because her mother wasn't around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The whole ride was just silent pining you want the music and maybe her she's sure that she wants you... She's just so sweet and quiet though she'd never just hook-up with someone she attends school with. Welp you're assuming that you don't really know Jamie you've only ever seen her sing and that's why you fell in love. Okay it's sad but that's the truth her voice just does everything for you. You could live off of it, procreate with it, and bury yourself with it... Okay that's going a bit far but it's true. Hey voice is truly that amazing to you and that's why you've got to dance to her song. When you stop in front of the apartment neither of you move you just turn the car off and sit in silence for a moment. It's a comfortable silence.

You turn towards her a gentle smile playing on your face as you look at her without much of a warning she kisses you but quickly pulls away as if she's been shocked by her own actions. "Shit I'm sorry I just really wanted to do that you were staring at me and I thought that that's what that meant..." You start laughing so much you put your head down on the console and just laugh until tears form in your eyes. "I'm sorry I truly am but you shouldn't panic when you kiss someone it means you want to do it." She nods "but do you want to do it?" You smile and nod "yeah I was thinking about kissing you. You just took the shot before me" she laughs and nods "I probably shouldn't kiss strangers but you just keep looking at me like that it makes me want to kiss you." You smile "uhm about the song I didn't really need to come here to hear it I kind of already have one in mind... "Broken hearted mess" you shared it with your class one day I was just in to borrow something and I heard it that's the one I want to dance to." She smiles although it was a sad song it was the complete opposite of both your feelings right now neither of you are broken hearted it actually feels as if being around each other makes your hearts tighten enough that they'd like to run off on their own. "That one doesn't really express you are you sure?" You smile and nod "yes I'm sure but doesn't express me?" She nods "it doesn't at all it's sad and broken and I think you'd like "Runaway Hearts" more it's talking about a couple who wants to be together but are too scared to tell each other and they don't actually ever say it it just happens..." You stare at her admiring her as she speaks and pronounces her words clearly. "You think that that fits me?" She smiles "I know it fits you I've watched you dance you're great at it you can do so many things with your body and express so many situations it's challenging but I believe only you could do it." She doesn't have to beg you she's convinced you enough and you nod "of course on one condition" she nods "you invite me in and we listen to the song together" she smiles and nods "absolutely."

A/n: unedited but hey who gives a damn? Enjoy this it's really soft and fluffy feels I'm not sure if I should make this a series though.

[thestarsarecool]

@fujoshi-simone-weil tagged me in a "things to get to know me" game! Fun, thank you! You have the best url on tumblr. Also, someone else tagged me in this game, like, a month ago and I kept meaning to do it (it was on my to-do list and everything!) but I forgot and now it has disappeared from my notifications. Also, I don't 100% remember who it was. But still, I wholeheartedly apologize to that person for neglecting their tag. I don't love you any less. Anyway, on with the show!

Last song I listened to: Answer Me from The Band's Visit. You can take the theater kid out of the theater but you can't take the theater out of the kid. Or maybe you can. I don't know. I am taking a class on songwriting for musical theater right now so I am listening to more musical theater than I have in a while, though not as much as I did in like 2019.

Favorite color: Purple!

Currently watching: Nothing really? I'm not much of a TV or movie person. I just finished watching the Fionna and Cake TV show which was surprisingly good. My siblings and I watched all of Adventure Time together a while back (we like to rewatch cartoons together), so we all facetimed to watch the finale, which was really nice. I'd missed them :)

Last movie I watched: Hmm. I don't remember. Let's think...nope, still don't remember. Sorry film nerds of tumblr.com. I wish I was as cool as you.

Currently reading: Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession by Janet Malcolm! It's a really fascinating look into the underlying contradictions of psychoanalysis and also a great overview of the history, but it's all done through an actually engaging character study! I think it was originally a lengthy piece in The New Yorker, published around 1980. Also, I just started The Tale of Two Cities, which is very fun because the only Dickens I have ever read before is Oliver Twist!

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I want to say savory, but the answer is actually sweet. I put wayyyyyy too much sugar in my tea for me to be picking anything but sweet.

Last thing I googled: The last thing I googled was "Ray Donovan Music" and I will explain why because, yes, I know that that doesn't make any sense. So, I am finishing up work on this song I am writing and whenever I get to that "almost done" stage, I post to r/Songwriting to get feedback because it's fun and occasionally helpful. And someone in the comments said that my song sounds like if "the little girl from Moneyball and Ray Donovan had a brainchild with Regina Spector [sic]." Which, like, ok. Let's unpack that. The comparison to Regina Spektor is very kind. I have gotten that a few times, though I think Reddit just doesn't know any other women who write songs on the piano. The little girl from Moneyball is such a funny comparison to me. Like, she's not a songwriter? She's just Brad Pitt's fictional child. But like, sure, I get what they mean. I sing kind of light and talky sometimes which makes it sound childlike, I guess, like a Moe Tucker sort of thing. But Ray Donovan??? I literally do not know what this commenter is talking about. All I can find for who Ray Donovan is the guy from the TV show. Like, does TV criminal Ray Donovan write songs or something? Is my song particularly evocative of the Ray Donovan soundtrack? Did this commenter mash together Ray Davies and Donovan's names? I asked him who he is talking about, but received no reply. Someone save me from this hell. Who is Ray Donovan and why did he birth my song?

Current Obsession: Still The Beatles, I guess, though it's not nearly as debilitating as it was a year ago. Which is quite nice, actually! I can actually be productive now.

Current Thing I'm Working On: Well, I've just about finished up the aforementioned song! All it needs is a title. Also, I'm writing a paper on The Epic of Gilgamesh, which is fun. The guy who wrote my translation is a professor at my uni so I may go to his office hours to ask him about it!

Ok, I tag @torchlitinthedesert, @idontwanttospoiltheparty, @veidelon, @theallenklein, and @mydaroga. I know this one already made the rounds though (I think) so no need to do it if you already did it. Or, really, no need to do it at all.

Cheers, everyone!