#the kid was coming from the same pride event i had went to

[blurred-cat]

i've come to realize that i'm used to being ignored at best and seen as a threat at worst. but attractive? friendly? safe?

under no circumstances do i expect a small child to run up to me in the mall and hug me, while saying that they're lost and need help finding their parents and i looked friendly because of my pretty colors

i also do not expect the 82 year old woman on the train to tell me i'm beautiful and that my smile really brightened up her day

and when someone that looks closer to my age comes to chat with me in a crowded waiting area at the airport because i looked like i was nervous and could use some company

it all just fills my heart then overflows

[ssivinee]

✧Forever Yours✧

BEBE! Bada Lee x Dancer! F Reader: You and Bada were quite a well-known duo within the dance world. You two grew up together and have been inseparable ever since, but as you drifted apart, you met again on Street Woman Fighter 2.

Word Count: 4.8k

Note: Bada has been a simp for you since you were kids. You both have the same energy and vibe. (you mainly dom Bada tho🤭)

Character Vision Board

For your entire life, dance was all you knew, and growing up with Bada helped you realize what your passion was at a young age. You two met at the age of 4 during one of Bada's first dance classes, and you two instantly became friends once the dance teacher pointed out how much you two looked alike despite not being related.

"Lee Bada, Kim Y/n, are you two cousins?" The teacher asks, looking at her clipboard, then looking back and forth between the two of you.

As the both of you shook your head no, the teacher pouts, "But you two look so much alike?"

Bada then glances at you, standing in front of the class, looking very prideful with a grin. You wore an oversized light blue graphic tee, grey joggers, white sneakers, and a white beanie. In Bada's eyes, you were the coolest in the class, AND she was compared to you?

Now that was a huge ego booster.

Your eyes meet hers, and before Bada can even try to avoid eye contact, you give a wave so she returns a shy smile.

"For the dance today, we will be working in partners, so please find someone to work with," the dance teacher says. Bada's eyes began to wander, worried that she might not even find a partner, but she felt a tap on her shoulder. She was shocked to see you, "Bada, right? I'm Y/n. Would you wanna be my partner today?"

Bada's eyes widen in excitement as she nods. It was the best choice on your end because you two were at the top of your dance class that day. During your next dance class together, you decided to stand next to Bada rather than go to your usual front spot. Throughout each class, the both of you realized you had so much in common and had similar interests.

From then on, you two did everything together. You two, ironically, went to the same schools, which encouraged the time you spent with each other. All the events in your life, like dance club, projects, homework, studying, group hangouts, and dance classes, were all spent with Bada by your side.

Things took a turn in your friendship during high school. You began to be attracted to girls, which confused Bada then. Sexuality became a prevalent talk amongst people your age. This caused you to experiment, so while Bada stuck to crushing on boys, you were already dating and got your first kiss at the end of your first year.

You then went on a vacation to the States for the entire summer that year and struggled. This was the first time you were away from your best friend for so long, making you anxious.

To cope with this, you took various dance classes with different dance genres, and making the gym apart of your stress relievers. After 3 months passed, you were finally coming home, and Bada would get to see you on your first day as a second-year student.

So, on the first day, the tall girl rushes to school to find you talking to an unfamiliar student.

"The new girl is so pretty."

"I heard she's half Japanese."

"I'm pretty sure she's rich. I saw her getting dropped off by a Rolls-Royce today."

"She's bold for talking to Y/n. By the way, didn't she get hotter? What's in the air in the US?"

Though Bada wasn't paying too much attention to the other students, she did get an answer to her thoughts, 'new girl?'

She observes the interaction, mainly you. Your hair got longer, you seemed to have grown an inch or two, and your physique was leaner, with your muscles more prominent. You changed, and Bada couldn't deny how much she liked it, even though you two FaceTimed regularly during your vacation.

Bada also can't help but admire your outfit, like she always does. Somehow, you looked ten hotter in her eyes at the moment, and she always thought you looked good. As she watched, the new girl's movements became quite flirtatious.

Her fingers would drag up and down your arms, and as she laughed, she would lean into you, trying to balance herself by pressing on your abs.

Your one-man audience began to feel irritated.

That's when Bada comes to a realization when she sees you, for the first time in months, befriending the new girl in school.

She was jealous.

After the conversation, you see Bada and immediately go up and hug her with a smile, leaning your head on top of hers and rocking your bodies back and forth.

"I missed you so much," you whispered to her, and her cheeks flushed lightly as she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"I missed you too."

During your second year, Bada's feelings grew for you, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to ruin her friendship with you, and she wasn't exactly sure if she liked girls. So, to ease her mind, Bada began finding little ways to see if what she felt was real.

Exhibit A. Bada 'confessed' to you about her slight crush on Hyunjae, aka your school's biggest jerk.

"Bada you can't be serious right now."

"What? He's sweet, always nice, and brings me coffee some mornings? What's so bad about him?"

"You know better than anyone here that the dude wants the privilege of sleeping with you and will be boasting about it to the entire school."

Bada acts hurt at your comments and once realizing how harsh it may have sounded on your end, you expressed, "Dude your one of the most wanted girls in the school, any boy would kill to be in Hyunjae's position right now. But there are so many other boys worth your heart, just not him."

She chuckles at your joking tone in the end. "Hey, if bringing you coffee occasionally makes you happy, I'll do that for you." Bada thought that was another joke, but you brought her an iced americano the next day.

"A coffee for the best girl in the world," you say as you hand her the cup. She blushes and thanks you with a hug. The following week and the week after, you kept bringing her coffee until it became a sacred thing you did for her every week of your friendship.

Exhibit B. It was Valentine's Day, and you and Bada were getting gifts from many people. Bada got letters, sweets, drinks, and stuffed animals from multiple guys. You had the same dilemma with numerous girls handing you multiple letters, confession notes, and anonymous ones in your locker.

At the end of the school day, both of you threw out all the gifts while hanging out in a dance studio near your school. Bada had something prepared for you though, she had bought you a new hoodie in your favorite color and a tulip she bought, last minute, on her way to the studio.

Once you come in, she hands you a bag, "Happy Valentine's Day." Your heart felt warm at the gift, and you began to get excited, "Wait here for a second," was all you said as you walked out.

'Did she not like my gift?' Bada worried, and as you came in, she was about to apologize if you didn't like it but was shocked to see you holding a heart-shaped balloon, a small box, and a bag. You smiled and gave her the items, "Happy Valentine's Day to my number one."

You somehow knew how to make her heart pump furiously. She opened your gift with a card, a bag of her favorite candy, snacks, and a new hat. She began to read the card but was shocked to see how short it was, somewhat feeling a bit let down.

You wrote: "Dear Bada,

We've been best friends for 12 years, and I can proudly say those were the best years of my life. You make me want to be a better person, and you will be my ride or die forever. I love you so much and hope our friendship lasts a lifetime."

She was about to finish reading, but you interrupted her as she closed the card, "Read the back." Bada looks at you confused but reads, 'Open the blue box.'

She stares at the box, then looks at you with eyes of suspicion, "Oh, come on, open it!" you say with pure excitement in your voice.

Bada opens the surprise to find a small note on top of it.

'Thank you for being the moon to my sun,' Under it was a bracelet with a moon charm and her name. She looks at you in complete shock while you raise your arm, pulling down your sleeve to show her the matching one with your name on it and the sun.

Bada feels a rush of emotions and hugs you, tearing up at the heartfelt gift.

Exhibit C. Bada wanted to test the waters, so when hanging out at your house on the last few weeks of school, she confesses what's been on her mind for a while.

"Y/n?" You were doing some studying but put your full attention on her after hearing your name, "yes?"

"How did you know you liked girls?"

You pondered her question, "I guess, when it came to many guys I had crushes on, I didn't feel a strong connection. To me, girls felt comforting, understanding, and overall beautiful. Then I met Yoonji, and it confirmed my thoughts." Bada's face goes into disgust upon hearing your ex's name, but as you laugh at her reaction, you begin to wonder.

"Why?"

"Well, I've been thinking. Every time I had a crush on a guy, yes, I've had a connection with some, but as soon as I can make it even as far as a kiss, I begin to shut down the idea."

Now that was news to you, "You're telling me the Lee Bada hasn't had her first kiss yet?" She shyly shakes her head no. "Well, no need to be embarrassed. Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet."

"I just feel like I'm lagging behind, you know?"

"I get it, but if you're saving it, that's also okay."

"I don't think I am. If anything, I wanna get it over with."

"That can also be arranged," now that statement piqued Bada's interest. "What do you mean?"

"If you wanna get it over with, you can kiss me. I mean, you trust me, right?" Of course, she did, causing her to nod and like your idea.

At first, her plan was to only find out if she liked girls, but she never thought she'd get this far. Her hands begin to sweat at the idea of the kiss.

"You do have experience, so I guess it would make my life easy," she mumbles. You sit down beside her on your bed, staring at her attentively. "You sure about this?" She nods again.

You delicately rest your hand under her chin, and Bada closes her eyes. Pulling her in slowly, she felt your lips on hers and melted. Your lips were sweet like the cherry chapstick you used. They were soft and warm. Your other hand rests on her waist, pulling her body closer to yours as you caress her face.

After kissing for about 2 minutes, you break apart and Bada looked at you with a slight shocked face.

"Was it good?" You asked concerned. 'It was more than good.'

"Yeah, of course it was." She hugs you, "Thanks for that."

While hugging you, all Bada can think of was, 'I'm so fucked...I'm so in love with you.'

Due to much anxiety, nervousness, and terrifying thoughts, Bada couldn't act on her feelings at all.

After two years, you two had developed a somewhat flirty friendship, and now you were in your first college years. You were both preparing all of your senior year to head into university and majoring in dance.

The process was definitely stressful, but you got through it together. As a celebratory 'we survived high school,' you two decided to get tattoos. Bada has a wave on her right forearm and a moon on her right wrist, while you have an orange and yellow colored sun on your left forearm and a small koi fish on your right wrist.

University was the biggest rollercoaster of your life. You didn't know if you could call it some of the best moments of your life or the most heartbreaking. You two got into the same school, and even dorming together was terrific.

The issue was the rift that was happening in your relationship. You two were doing your own things, meeting new groups of friends, and having drastically different schedules. It got to the point where it felt like you didn't have a roommate.

Well, you barely saw her anyway.

You two became part of a dance crew and garnered many opportunities in the dancing scene. This was the only time you ever saw her around.

While in school, you two auditioned for many background dancing positions, and your journey in the dance world began to sail from there.

After graduation, Bada started teaching classes, and by the end of university, she had many projects lined up for her. She then joined JustJerk, and that's when she began to flourish as a choreographer as SM reached out to her.

You, on the other hand, had begun as a freelance dancer in Korea while making several videos of your own choreography and uploading them on YouTube. As you gained massive popularity, you were getting projects from friends in the States, which caused you to go back and forth from Korea.

You and Bada spent less time together, but you two tried your hardest to hang out and chat occasionally. That was until you started making it big in the States and had offers coming your way left and right. So, you made the most difficult decision to move to the US to focus on your career.

As you worked in the West and Bada worked in the East, your connection began to fizzle until it was no longer a thing. No one was to blame. Your careers were now your priorities, which was understandable.

While Bada gained popularity for her Kpop choreography, she did many lessons and projects and learned from some big-name dancers. Then, 2018 came around, and Kpop grew a massive fan base in the States. You also began to get offers for projects in Korea, mainly from HYBE Entertainment or Bighit, at the time. That's when it hit you: You made it big into the dance scene.

The more projects you did, the more opportunities came. An example of one of your most outstanding achievements was signing with Jam Republic and working with some of the biggest stars, BTS, and the trendy New Jeans. You were on a role, to say the least.

You were working with several Jam Republic artists and got an offer. It was to join the team for their representation on Street Woman Fighter. So, after staying in the States for about 5 years, you decided to move back to Korea so you could comfortably work on Street Woman Fighter with your girls.

You had the liberty of picking them up and hanging out with them 3 weeks before the show's filming. The crew ate dinner together, drank some alcohol from time to time, and even taught dances while they stayed.

The day finally came when they filmed the first part of the episode, where Mnet introduced every team and their members. You got excited seeing big names and saw the most familiar one, Bada. "Oh, she's on the show too?"

"You know Bada?" Audrey asks you innocently, and you smile at the thought. "Of course I do, she's my best friend."

The girls looked at you with wide eyes, and you giggled, "What? After I went to the States, we barely talked, so it never came up." As you continued, all of you had to pick the worst dancers and talk more about the dance styles of each crew.

You chose someone you felt could challenge you out of respect for the dancer's skills.

The other teams had to do the same thing as Jam Republic, and as soon as Kristen popped up on their screen, almost no one could believe it.

"No way!"

"She's on the show?"

"For real?"

As they continued to introduce JR, you were the last member revealed. Everyone gasps in shock, seeing your face and resume in dance.

"A Korean on their team?"

"She's worked with HYBE? Now that's how you know she's good."

"Run BTS? She did that one? It was a sick choreography."

"Wait she looks kinda familiar."

"She kinda looks like Bada-nim."

When it was Bebe's turn to react, Bada went extremely pale but did well in hiding it. She had kept up with some of your videos and releases during your time away, being happy for you, but she didn't realize that this show was the reason for you to see each other again.

That's when the two of you were starting to become nervous about the next shoots to come.

It was time for all the crews to meet, and as you guys entered your hideout, you were met with a bright pink room.

When it was Jam Republic's turn to enter the fight zone, everyone was surprised by the scale of the show. Coming down the stairs, you found the other dancers staring either in awe or trying to intimidate you guys, which wasn't gonna work.

You were the last down, and everyone couldn't help but notice your height, plus yours and Audrey's beauty. Many girls describe Audrey as looking like a doll or a baby, while people believe you have a "cat" attractiveness.

Your height was another factor. You stood tall at 5'10 and noticeably towered over your members. Bada couldn't help but keep eye contact with your figure, which worked in her favor since that's what she was known for.

She took in your presence after 5 years and felt as if all the air was sucked out of her body.

While Bada stared, her members began to notice something. Lusher nudges her, "Unnie... do you two know each other?" Bada looks confusingly at her.

"Where did you get that?"

"You two have matching tattoos," Tatter butts in, whispering. Bada's eyes widen a little, then scan your tattoo. She forgot that they were matching couple-looking tattoos. "We were really close till she left for the States."

The two girls move back, stunned at the new information. "How close were you two?"

"We were best friends for 24 years of our lives."

"HUHHHHHH?" They announced a little too loudly that Bada had to shush them. You focused on the video and concluded that Audrey had the most votes as the worst dancer, making you scoff.

"They definitely don't know who they picked," Your arm rested on Audrey's shoulders as you whispered to her. Bada sees this, and her hands begin to squeeze into a fist.

Well, now she knew that those feelings were still there, to say the least.

Many battles went on and soon, it was your turn to head up. "Next opponent is Kim Y/n!" Kang Daniel announced and you decided to walk around the fight zone. You slow down near Bebe and give Bada a teasing stare down before walking walking away with a smirk that she gladly returns.

"Tsubakill, Yumeri-san, please come out."

Everyone cheers, and as the stage gets rowdy, you hold the mic in your hands.

"Y/n, why did you pick Yumeri as the worst dancer?"

"I honestly didn't think she was bad at all. It's quite the opposite." You turned to her. "Yumeri-san, I know you can give me a good challenge, so let's see how good we are as dancers," You bowed to her, and everyone was surprised at your statement AND that you spoke in Japanese.

Yumeri smiles before saying, "It's an honor to dance with you."

As the music began, Yumeri went first and showed off fierce movements which you couldn't help but hype up.

"She's really humble, huh?" Tatter questions Bada, and she nods. You always respected people no matter what. Bada knew exactly why you chose Yumeri.

Yumeri is a hip-hop-based dancer who knew her body, which results in powerful movements. Bada knew you picked the woman to show off an entertaining battle, not a one-sided one. When the music switched, you grooved a little until the base dropped and you pulled out some krumping and locking.

Everyone is shocked, as none of the dancers necessarily excelled in that area of dance, well, other than you. You then contorted your body and twisted as you lay on the floor, and everyone went wild.

In the corner, Bada's jaw dropped. Sure, she kept up with your videos, but she never imagined that this was how good you got over the years.

Once your battle ended, it was time for the judges to vote. All of them pulled out the Jam Republic card, and you bowed. Monika picks up her mic with much evident excitement.

"KIM Y/N! Whaaaaaaa~ You truly are a different talent. This battle was one of the best ones I've seen by far. We have many gifted dancers here, but you showed us something unique today." You and Yumeri bowed at the high remark and hugged each other to conclude your battle.

After a few matches, it was time to have a break. You had to use the bathroom and decided to freshen up there and as you were about to return to the fight zone, you see a familiar face heading out her hideout.

"Well isn't it the famous Bada lee."

She turns her neck fast due to the shock and sighs once she sees you. You hug her while rocking side to side.

"Don't you feel some deja vu?" You joked, and she smacked your arm lightly. "I missed you," Bada confesses as she holds your hand.

"I missed you too," you stared at her with caring eyes. As she looked at you, she began to tear up, and before a tear fell, you wiped it away with your thumb. "I regret not keeping in touch."

"I also didn't put in the most effort Bada, you aren't the only one to blame."

"God," Bada whines and you smile. "How about after this we hang out? If you give me my number I'll text you my address?"

"I'd be honored 'Mother of HYBE,' she teased. You chuckled and exchanged phone numbers, immediately texting her your address.

When all the groups were about to leave, you peep Bebe, getting ready to go. "Hold up a minute. I'll meet you guys at the van."

You begin to hear "ooooohhhhhh~~~" as they see you making your way over to Bada and you roll your eyes. "Bada-nim!"

Bebe looks over and begins giggling at your interaction like cute school girls watching a drama. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, of course," you give another hug that caresses her waist and wave off. Bada then gets teased by her younger members.

"Yahhhhhh~ did you see her hand movement."

"Unnie! You're literally the best. Find me a woman like that too."

"Whaaaaa~ that's our leader."

"Dude, I don't know if I wanna be her or be you."

Bada's face turns bright red and her members burst in laughter once again.

Once you made it home, you decided to shower and prepare a bit. You decided to wear some checkered pajamas and a cropped tank, then began to cook some food.

As you weren't really expecting a guest so early on, your fridge didn't have too much food due to your busy schedule, but you were able to make some shrimp alfredo pasta and took out some soju bottles you had from the JR girls.

You finished up, heard the doorbell ring, and saw Bada wearing a matching set consisting of a cropped sweater vest, a crop top underneath, a navy blue tennis skirt, and some black timberlands.

"Wow~ you look good. Now I feel underdressed," you joke but realize she was wearing the hat and bracelet you gifted her in high school. You let her enter and point it out.

"You still have these?" You asked as you lightly flicked it down then grabbed her wrist, and all she could do was smile. "I cherish them too much to throw it out."

"Don't you still have yours?"

"Yeah but I rarely wear it nowadays."

"Why?" Bada was hurt, but she pouts when you say, "I didn't wanna lose it when I moved to the States, so I kept it in the box. It's in my room right now. Hold up." After a few minutes, you go into your room and come out with the bracelet on your wrist, "See?"

Bada's move was instantly uplifted again, but her attention shifted to food because she was hungry for so long.

"Holy shit, did you make this?" She asks, settling down at your dining table. She takes off the jacket and hat, showing off her two-toned hair. "Of course, try it first before you compliment me too much."

She digs in and moans at the taste. "Good?"

"Good? This is amazing."

You two talked ate and chatted a bit about work, but after a while, you guys moved to the couch and started drinking.

"I can't help but ask, how's your love life?"

"I did some dating here and there in the States, but they never got too serious," you say as you take a shot. "What about you? No one special in your life?"

"My special person left me for the States," Bada joked with a pout, and you giggled. "In all seriousness though, I dated a bit, and my last one was a bit serious, but we didn't work out. She got a bit crazy on me nearing the end."

"Damn crazy?"

...

"Wait, did you say she?" You looked at her in dismay. "Yeah, I may have figured out I liked both guys and girls while you were gone."

"Well, definitely earlier than that, but we don't talk about it," Bada added.

"No, no, we are going to talk about it. Who was the special person that made you realize?"

Bada bit her lip and thought if she should tell you. Impulsively she thinks, 'it's now or never.'

"It was you."

You sat there with a shot of soju in hand and stared at Bada as a wave of emotions flooded you.

"Since when?" That was all you can say.

"Since high school," She mumbles, but you hear her loud and clear. Well, your first thought, you smack her arm, and she gives you an offended look. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was scared okay? We were friends for so long, and I didn't want to lose you. As long as you were happy, I was happy, and that was enough for me."

Your gazed softened, "Bada, you idiot."

"I liked you too."

Those were the words she never thought she would hear, and she felt a heaviness lift off her chest. "You think I would just suggest kissing you for shits and giggles?"

Now Bada wanted to punch herself in the face, "but you were dating other people?"

"Bada, I did that to push aside my feelings because everyone thought you were straight, and you never ever told me about crushing on a girl."

She thinks back and realizes you were right. She only ever talked about the guys she was crushing on. "Now I feel stupid. I've liked you for so long, and seeing you dating other people hurt my heart. When I saw you kissing other girls, I wanted to cry sometimes. Then I saw you again and realized that I still love you, and your relationship with Audrey often made me jealous. And-"

Before she could rant even more, you pulled her into a kiss to shut her up. Her shocked face turned soft, and she kissed you back.

To her, it felt the same as the first time you kissed her, but to you, it felt like the thing you've been missing for so long.

You wrap your arm around her waist, pulling her onto your lap, wanting to feel her warmth and touch.

She felt the kiss's intensity and couldn't help but grind on your lap. Out of breath, you two pulled away, breathing heavily. "I love you too dummy."

Bada's face grins widely, and she leans her head back as your arm balances her from falling. She goes all shy and hides her face into your neck as you lightly run your fingers up and down her waist, giving her the chills.

"You don't understand how long I've waited for that."

"Well, no need to wait anymore," You pull her into another kiss, which turns into a heated make-out session. Her fingers tangled into your hair as your tongues played around. Your kisses move to her neck, and you chuckle, "Be ready for a long night. I have a couple years to make up for."

A/n: Fun fact guys, this was the first Bada fic out of all the ones if written so far, i just pushed back posting it for so long😭

[losersiren]

Yandere! Vault Dweller

N: I just finished the Fallout show, went on YouTube and fell down a rabbit hole of lore about the game. I decided Vault 11 shall be sacrificed (hehe). Everything I put in this fic is from the videos I've watched and the fan wiki, so it's like semi-accurate… Cw: talks about suicide, suicide (not the reader), violence, yandere tendencies, gore(?), death, manipulation, coercion, talks of death, should be gn! reader safe.... if not, put me in the chamber WC: 2.2k

Quiet. It was quiet. The silence is deafening, yet the ringing in your ear grows louder and louder, each second feeling as if eons had passed. The automated computer voice repeats in your head like a catchy song you’ll hear on those dusty records, the ones Mama used to play and dance to.

“Congratulations, citizens of Vault 11! You have made the decision not to sacrifice one of your own. You can walk with your head held high, knowing that your commitment to human life is a shining example to us all. And to make that feeling of pride even sweeter, I have some exciting news. Despite what you were led to believe, the population of Vault 11 is not going to be exterminated for its disobedience. Instead, the mechanism to open the main vault door has now been enabled, and you can come and go at your leisure. But not so fast! Be sure to check with your overseer to find out if it's safe to leave. Here at Vault-Tec, your safety is our number one priority.”

You were young when your parents escaped the bombs to the vault you're situated in right now; you grew up believing that damned computer about sacrifices and watched your fellow vault mates get killed one by one. You waited for the time it would be you in that same chamber. Now, with this information surfaced…they died for what? An experiment? What would have happened if you had been voted overseer…

The lump in your throat grows heavier, and the arguments and yelling in the background become more and more apparent that you can't ignore them anymore. Your eyes drift to the man standing tall and proud beside you, Charli, his hair still somehow slick back; he still looks perfect even after the maddening chaos of events that transpired these past few days. His blue jumpsuit was as crisp as an ironed suit that the actors would wear from the moving pictures on television before the vault. His expression is as vacant as his blue eyes, his soft lips decorated with a barely visible smile. As he watches the other three vault survivors argue, Your brows furrow. 

Why isn’t he affected by the news like everyone else? This information is soul-crushing and life-changing!

Then again, you reason with yourself that maybe this is his way of coping; who are you to judge and microanalysis him like some psycho? Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or the sense of safety ripped out of your hand like candy stolen from a baby. Heavens, you might nearly flip your lid entirely if something else happens. You sigh. To believe you almost were insinuating that Charli would even be a drop suspicious, and of what, exactly? He saved and shielded you from the massacre that only left the five of you remaining; he was your childhood best friend..how could you? You reprimand yourself.

His eyes finally meet yours, and the sympathy and worry you sought appeared when the blonde saw how distressed you were. “Are you alright?” his soft voice fills your head–drowning out the talks of whether the group should commit suicide in honour of your dead vault men or venture into the outside world to educate others on how your vault was misled. You were somewhat dissociated from the whole conversation. Reasonably so.

His hands, soft yet calloused, turn your head side to side to check for any visible injuries he might’ve missed, which he shouldn’t have—knitted eyebrows and razor-sharp eyes search frantically for anything. 

Charles or… As you’ll call him later in your relationship, Charlie, has always been like this. When you met him, he was a reserved kid, a trait that would carry on from his pubescent to adolescent years. 

When other kids grew out of their shyness and worrisome attitude and eventually adapted to the vault, he was pushed aside. Well, that wouldn’t be the only reason. His father was the first overseer of Vault 11, the same overseer who thought the best course of action was not to tell the vault residents about the sacrificial system they were now to live with. That same choice he made was the reason for his death, and he was the first to test the new system. He wasn’t a good man. He was greedy, a neglectful father and husband, and so on. A family now ruined by one man’s ill-considered decision; Charles's mom wasn’t much better, the textbook definition of a hypocrite. Bad-mouthing her dead husband, the same one she defended when said husband would push his son away.

Most would fear having no one at the end of the world, but it became Charles's life; while everyone adapted to vault life, Charles adapted to the misfortune of the consequences of his old man’s actions. You decided one day to talk to him while others stood clear. It was a simple conversation; others would just brush it off…which he did initially. But after that day, you would constantly seek him out, and with that, you wore a genuine smile and interest every time you talked to him. His walls crumbled into dust for you and only you. You were like a shooting star he wished for. His reputation grew because of you and, with that, his feelings for you sored. You became his way of life. In his teen years, he decided to become the best match for you– He would participate in every extracurricular activity the vault would provide to make him an unstoppable force of a man. The perfect golden boy was made..for you.

He had the “perfect body,” perfect sperm count, unmatched intelligence, and charisma—he perfected them (even if you were the only one he talked to for long periods)—strength, agility, endurance—all of it. He will be everything you need and more. With that, he made sure no one would vote you as overseer…

He was so soft on you that it would rival feathers. Do you need help lifting that? He's already there. Do you need help with your pre-war history? He’ll just sit you down and study with you for hours. Are you bleeding from an accidental cut? Don’t worry he just finished his first aid training. He already had a plan for you both for everything that would happen.

Everything

“I’m fine…” You grab both of his hands gently. “...Well, not fine, fine, but I'm not hurt.” You smile weakly up at him. “It’s okay. You and I will get through this,” He coos, pushing strands of your hair away from your face and behind your ear. His touch is warm and tender, yet the words you hear next aren’t.

“Fuck..I..I can’t do this I’m sorry.” A man, short in stature, starts backing away, gun in hand, clearly distressed. Your eyes move away from Charli’s to your fellow survivor; unknowingly to you, Charli rolls his eyes at the man's “dramatics.”  “We don’t deserve to leave...That thing called us a shiny example..f..f.fucked! Thats fucked! I..I can’t live with that!” Another man says, “Anyone would’ve done what we did.” A woman comments, “You ask me? That's exactly the problem. Now, let’s get on with this.”

“Wait,” you say, stunned, as if he had predicted this would happen. Charles moves his hands to cover your eyes. The short man is first, putting his gun on the roof of his mouth and pulling the trigger, not sparing any more time; the woman is next, the second gunshot. Then, with a sigh and short prayer, the last man repeats the action done by the others. Each lifeless body hits the floor one by one, and then there is silence.

What the hell.

You try to understand the situation, but your brain has yet to catch up…it’s all too much. Charli whispers calming phrases while he shields your eyes with one hand and rubs patterns along your back with the other. Tears start rolling down your face…and you sob. Hard. His hand moves to pet your hair, soothing you while you let it all out of your system.

He moves his body to shield you from the gruesome events that have just taken place; he moves both of his hands and cradles your face. You try looking behind him out of curiosity, but he stops you before you can.”Hey! Look at me with those gorgeous eyes,” He mummers, and of course, you comply. “There we go. You listen to me so well,” he whispers lovingly. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll both go back to my vault room. I have enough supplies for the both of us to survive outside for a while, okay?” He asks you, and you nod, agreeing to whatever he says. 

“I need to hear you say it..” 

“…yes, of course, whatever you think is best.” He smiles at you, thumb caressing your cheek. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” He takes your hand and leads you through the halls. It's quiet… you don't like it. Your eyes are trained on his back, Charli…he’s your lifebuoy in the angry sea, the only thing keeping you afloat; if it wasn’t for him…you might’ve met your end with the others. As if sensing your inner turmoil, he squeezes your hand, comforting you…and you squeeze back. Your world just fell apart, yet…it doesn’t seem entirely gone with Charli by your side. 

It's only a short time till you reach his vault. You’ve been here so many times it's basically your room by now. The tall blonde turns to look at you. “I’m going to let you go, just for a second, okay..? I just need to get the supplies.” He holds your one hand with both of his– you reply with a soft okay, and with your permission, he starts to move. He moves towards his small desk to grab a small, flat-headed screwdriver, walks to a particular spot, and pops the floor title beneath him, revealing a hidden compartment. It's filled with two modular military backpacks, filled to the bream with necessities for outside the vault.

He was prepared for all of this…

Then he starts talking about what he has in mind for the two of you, settling on the surface of living together and everything. Charles gets lost when talking to you; he can speak his mind about almost anything, and rambling is second nature with you. The hermit turned a social butterfly in your presence.

“You know that computer may have been our downfall, but god did bless me with more information than I could handle…good thing, huh, glad I went through all that code…Vault-tec tried to make it secure, but I found a way...We could go somewhere called New Vegas…” He keeps talking. 

But you stand there, still, as a statue, looking down at him as he gathers everything…What did he just say? 

You think back to the start when killing between the blocs started..he was right there, ready to protect you, when you and the other surviving tested out if the chamber would kill all of you…he almost seemed to be too assured nothing bad would happen to any of you, almost like…no…no. You’re overthinking, right? But the more you listen…

“You knew…” you shakingly exclaim out loud, cutting him off. “Hmm?” He looks up at you as he puts the tile back…” You knew we didn’t need sacrifices…you knew it would play out like this…” you say louder and more confidently. Those once-homey blue eyes become cold and distant… analyzing you.  

You both stare at each other.

You turn and run.

 But your efforts are in vain; you don’t even leave the room before two muscular arms wrap around behind you, overtaking you, holding your arms down around your waist, dragging you back. You scream and kick with no success. You end up with his arms around you while he sits down, his back against the wall, and you in front of him with his head in your neck while you let it all out. “When?” you croak out, “When we were fifteen, I didn’t want you to become overseer…I didn’t want you to die..so I wondered if it was the computer that sent signals to kill whoever was sent in that chamber and wondered if I could stop it from killing you specifically; that's when I found out .” He answers swiftly and truthfully, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” You question, “I didn’t care, honestly, the only thing that matters is you…If everyone died in the process, it would be less work for me…I wanted it to be us from the beginning, anyway. I want you to need me as much as I need you…and now you finally do.”  

You feel weak and sick to your stomach… All your peers would’ve ended up dead either way. “I want to leave.” he hums, not mocking you but in acknowledgment. “And do what? You don’t know how to defend yourself; you have no supplies prepared, barely any survival instincts, and you don’t even know any information on the surface above. You can leave, but you’ll die…I can’t let that happen, sorry.” Charles buries himself more into you. 

“I hate you,” You whisper.

“That’s okay…all that matters is that you're here…with me and only me… I’ll keep you safe and sound.”

N: This was a long one, whew! I had to think about how I could make a Yandere fic with Fallout, and I had tons of concepts, but this one stood out the most. I hope my execution was good enough....Anyway, my next fic will most likely be a jealous fic about my Yandere lord, so stay tuned! Till then! see you soon my little guppies (´꒳`)♡ extra note: Throughout writing this, I thought "My Way of Life by Frank Sinatra" would fit Charli perfectly.

[fan-goddess]

First Week Of School

Request: By @slytherincursebreaker for me to make a written version of this artwork that I highly recommend you go look at before reading! They never cease to amaze me with their work!

Summary: Penelope it seems has been using words she doesn’t fully understand…

Authors Note: As you can see I had too much fun writing about domestic Michael. But do I care? Nope!

Taglist: @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @omgbrcat @blue-serendipity @arcielee @slytherincursebreaker @tumblin-theworldaway

Warnings: Pregnancy, hormones, smutty talk, discussions of a sexual nature (if I miss any let me know!)

Michael Gavey never thought he would ever have kids, let alone a wife, or even a girlfriend at that. Yet that all changed when in his first class of his first year at Oxford, he met you. Granted, he’d been an absolute idiotic prat, as he himself had put it. Yet somehow you kept on coming back to hang out with him with a smile on your face.

Even when Oliver Quick abandoned him in the pub at the drop of a hat just so he could get five minutes of stupid Cattons time and attention like some kind of desperate puppy, you managed to sneak away from your much more popular friends and catch up with him while he was headed back to his accommodation. And when he asked why, you’d said it was all to ask if he was okay and wanted someone to talk to.

In all honesty It was probably the first moment is sort of clocked in Michael’s head that he liked you as more than a friend.

He somehow managed to keep hanging out with you rest of the school year. Even plucking up the courage from not even he knows where to ask you for your phone number so he could talk to you during the holidays when he’d be forced to go back to his parents house.

When the next school year came around in September though, it was with great pride when he practically peacocked his way back to campus with you on his arms and his virginity long gone behind him.

And by the end of Oxford, he had a ring in his pocket just waiting to be placed on your finger, which soon was done by the end of that year.

Years went by since Oxford though, and yours and his lives changed for the better as the two of you moved in together in a nice quaint flat and eventually did manage to get married. It hadn’t been a very big event as the both of you only invited just a handful of guests, and yet it was easily the happiest days of yours and his lives.

It had been an especially emotional time when somehow both of you managed to start ugly crying at each other’s speeches.

Yet you easily managed to outcry yourself when two weeks after coming back from your honeymoon in America, or more specifically after a spontaneous trip to the airplane cubicle, you found yourself sitting on the toilet while Michael was away at work with a pregnancy test in hand, and four more sitting on the edge of the bath saying the same thing.

Pregnant.

You’d tried to surprise Michael that same day after finding out by surprising him when he came back from work, but it didn’t help as the so called ‘baby brain’ managed to somehow hit early, and somehow at the near exact time when Michael was walking through the front door about to greet you, you were frantically trying to put out the fire that had miraculously started on the now charcoal bun you’d placed in the about an hour ago in the oven.

“What on earth is going on?!” You hear Michael shout, his voice confused as he watches from the doorway you frantically try to throw the charcoal lump into the sink.

“It wasn’t my fault!” You say practically on the verge of tears as you try to blink through the sudden onslaught of tears.

“Hey hey hey none of that!” Michael says, dropping his leather satchel as he moves closer to you so he can take you in his arms and kiss the top of your head, while rubbing a comfortingly warm hand on your back. “What’s the issue love?”

“I-I-“ You begin, somehow crying even harder at Michael’s warm embrace. “I wanted to surprise you! But I ruined it!”

“We all forget things sometimes love, doesn’t make you any less smart! Now, what is it you wanted to surprise me with?”

“I…” You pause, stepping away slightly so you could grab his hand previously on your back and place it on your belly. “I’m pregnant Michael.”

You could swear you could see the exact moment his mind went numb, and you honestly don’t think you’ve seen a better state of his. Other than when he’s been fucked out of his mind of course.

“Are you serious?” He eventually says, knocking himself out of his little trance to look you dead in your eyes.

“Yeah darling,” You smile, beginning to tear up again when you see your husbands face slowly turn into his own delighted grin. “We’re having a baby!”

“We’re having a baby!” Michael repeats, his voice breaking as his own tears start falling. Scratch what you thought earlier about outcrying yourself in the bathroom earlier today, within five seconds Michaels already managed to outdo you again.

Over the next few months Michael was attentive as he could be with work and all that, and yet you honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better. Even when the baby was being born in the delivery room, Michael was standing next to you with his hand in yours, and very much ugly crying.

“Michael, you aren’t the one giving birth!” You groan, glaring up at him while you continue to groan in pain. Still, your ever sarcastic husband gave his very much expected sarcastic response while you continued to crush his hand in your own.

Though by the next day, you were holding his and yours daughter in your arms. A girl you both agreed to name Penelope.

The years went by quickly with Penelope in yours and Michaels lives, and it was with great sadness when you realised you wouldn’t get your little one to welcome you both home with a smile on her face, as Penelope’s starting date for primary school came soon approaching.

“Can’t she just start next year?” Michael asks, getting into bed with you and kissing the side of your head before grabbing the physics book on his side table.

“If she starts next year, she’ll be older than all the kids there. You don’t want people to think she got held back do you?” You smile, using your husband’s own doubts about her against him as you pretend to focus on your own book.

It takes everything in you not to burst out laughing at Michael’s little grumble he does out of the corner of your eye. You can’t see it, but you know for sure he’s got a little scrunched up glare on his face like he always does when he’s annoyed at something.

The next few days pass and Michael doesn’t bring up the idea of Penelope starting next year again. Though whether that’s fuelled by Michael’s fear of a held back daughter of something else you don’t know, as the first day of school soon approaches.

On the day however, everything starts smoothly as you make Penelope a healthy breakfast to get her through the day and make her a sufficient lunch box filled with food you’re pretty sure has the food she currently claims to like in.

Yet when you, Penelope and Michael get to the front gate of the school, that’s when the waterworks start. And it weren’t even started by Penelope nor yourself. In actuality it was Michael who began sniffling when your daughter walked into class for the first time all on her own, with her bright pink my little pony backpack strapped tight to her back paired with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh honey…” You sigh, putting your arms around him and tucking his head in the curve of your neck. It didn’t matter if his glasses were digging into your skin, or if his tears were leaving uncomfortable wet patches on your shirt. All that did matter was making sure Michael was feeling comforted and loved at that moment while other parents and children awkwardly stood around you.

“She’s not our little girl anymore…” He murmurs, his lips tickling your skin while his breath begins to slowly even out.

“She’ll always be our little girl Michael,” You say, kissing the top of his head before he moves away from you, his face a lovely shade of pink with embarrassment. “Whether she’s beginning primary school or finishing her A-levels, she will always be our little girl. Do you understand me?”

“Course I do you twit!” Michael says, rolling his eyes at not only you but at the mother he heard behind you gasp in shock at his little nickname, even when he most certainly knows he could’ve said a whole lot worse. Especially when he remembers the uni days and the whole range of vocabulary he used back then.

Still he ignores her as he grabs your hand to drag you back to the car so the two of you can go back home and get ready for work. And later that day when 3pm comes around, both you and Michael stand eagerly by the after school pick up point, with you watching with such fond eyes when you see Michael open his arms wide to give Penelope a big hug as she runs up to him, her own arms open as wide as they can go.

“Did you have a nice day sweetie?” You say, smiling as your daughter finally moves to look at you and give you your own small hug. Yet not as big of a one she gave Michael of course, as hell make sure to mention later on.

“Yeah mama!” She says, grinning loud and radiating pure joy as you and Michael lead her to the car with one of her hands in yours and the other in Michael’s. “I made lots new friends today!”

“Any boys?” Michael offhandedly asks, not really expecting an answer, but he certainly reacts like he was looking for one when your daughter actually answers with an enthusiastic yes and a handful of boy names. Totally oblivious to Michael’s genuinely horrified expression that makes you want to take out your phone and take a picture of it to make it your Home Screen picture.

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve made all these friends! Hasn’t it Michael?” You ask with a pointed stare and a harsh pinch to his leg after you’ve strapped in Penelope and got into the car together.

“Yeah yeah lots of friends I’m very proud of you sweetheart…” Michael says with gritted teeth, looking at you with his own glare telling you exactly what he thought of these new friends of your daughter. The topic of which he brought up again later that night, after eating dinner together, brushing teeth and getting into bed.

“I told you we should’ve let her wait another year…” Michael grumbles, glaring at the page of his book that he’d been on for the last ten minutes.

“And what would that simply achieve?” You ask him, turning the page of your own book. “It’s not like you’d be able to convince her cooties are real and to stay away from boys love, as the teachers would just intervene.”

“I could certainly try…” He simply says back, finally turning the page. You don’t engage with Michael anymore as you sigh while switching off your lamp and getting yourself comfortable between the sheets. Though before you shut your eyes you have to pull Michael down slightly to give him a deep loving kiss.

“Night love.” You say, shutting your eyes and acting oblivious to the flustered mess that is your husband sitting beside you. Yet when you hear his own shaky goodnight back you can’t help yourself from giggling slightly, before allowing sleep to take you.

The rest of the week though goes well, with a significantly less amount of tears from everyone while you drop Penelope off and pick her up from school. And by Friday, all three of you have managed to get yourselves in a good little routine.

“Now Michael, remember that I’ve got that meeting at work at 3 so I can’t pick up Penelope with you today!” You calmly say, focused on packing your daughter’s lunch box which according to her needs to have a cheesestring and a babybel so she can share with her friend Alex.

It’s adorable, so you allowed it almost instantly. Yet somehow it made it even better when you heard Michael two minutes after trying to interrogate your four year old daughter on whether Alex was a boy or a girl.

“Fine fine…” He groans, moving away with a roll of his eyes to kiss your forehead in a loving gesture. “And don’t worry love I’ll be fine on my own! Just as long as stupid Alex ain’t there…”

“Oh behave Michael!” You sternly say, your eyebrows furrowing in annoyance at his insistent worrying. “And besides. If you do this and behave, I’ll do that thing you like tonight with you. How about that?”

“Really?!” Michael asks, a mixture of surprise and arousal on his face. “Outfit and all?”

“Outfit and all.” You repeat, a sultry smile on your face as you kiss the corner of his mouth next to his lips and move away to grab the finished lunch box and place it in her backpack. “Penelope it’s time to go! Put your big girl shoes on please!”

“Yes mummy!” You can hear her say upstairs as she comes bolting down the stairs with an adorable smile on her face. The sound of which you assume knocks Michael from his little trance, as as soon as she comes down and starts putting her shoes on that’s when Michael comes from the direction of the kitchen with his own adorably bashful look on his face.

The rest of the day for Michael though goes great. As that morning with you he drops Penelope of at school, afterwards dropping you at your own work.

“I’ll see you later love.” He says, kissing you on the lips before you move to get out of the car.

“Oh I most certainly will baby.” You smirk back, making his stomach twist and turn in anticipation for later.

“Such a tease…” He murmurs, before starting the car and driving off to work. There weren’t many classes for the day, as by the time came for him to start driving to Penelopes school to get ready to pick her up, he’d already eaten lunch and popped into the bakery by his work to get her a little gingerbread man for an afterschool treat.

It was all going so well as he waited by the pick up area with the treat sitting in his coat pocket. That is however, before Penelope’s form teacher who he remembers meeting when originally toured around the school, came up to him and asked for a quick chat about something that happened today.

“What happened?! Did something happen to her?!” He frantically asked as soon as he walks inside the teachers empty classroom and sat in a chair opposite her desk.

“Oh no nothings happened to Penelope at all!” The teacher reassures, a comfortable smile on her face. “I do however want to discuss with you about some particular language that she used earlier today during break time on the playground.”

“Oh really?” Michael asks, curiousity on his face when he thinks about the words he and yourself try to use when around her. Though when the teacher begins to speak, pure and utter mortification is only what remains.

“From what I heard of the playground monitor on duty, Penelope was talking to one of her male classmates when she used what she herself called NFI. She explained the situation and the words involved in NFI quite graphically I must say…”

“Oh god I’m so sorry about this!” Michael groans, his head in his hands in an attempt to hide his bright red face of embarrassment.

“Oh please don’t be! I can understand that kids at this age are like sponges as they repeat whatever they hear their parents say and not know the meaning of the words at all. Myself and the teacher who’d been on duty have spoken to her about certain language and repeating what mummy and daddy have said, but I thought best to tell you as she’ll probably listen more to a parent than myself.”

“I will definitely have a discussion with her, and so will her mother too when she gets back from work.” Michael says, standing up and thanking the teacher for her time as he begins to leave the classroom. “Thank you for letting me know.”

When Michael exits the classroom Penelope is already sitting down on a chair opposite, staring at him with a smile on her face.

“Hi daddy!” She says, getting down from the chair to run up at him and give him a hug on his legs when he doesn’t reach down quick enough. “Where’s mummy?”

“Mummy’s at work sweetie, she said so this morning that she’ll see you later and is so sorry for not being here.” Michael says, now kneeling down to get to her eye level.

“It’s okay daddy! I forgive mummy!”

“Well I’m sure mummy is very grateful for that!” Michael says, pausing as he begins to help her put on her coat and continues on with what he was about to say. “Penelope your teacher told me you made a boy cry using NFI.”

“But he started it daddy! He’s a cu-“

“Loser!” Michael quickly interrupts, sternly staring at his daughter. “You can call him loser not that word... At least punch him I'll allow it since he's a loser...” He mumbles those last words, not expecting Penelope to hear him and actually listen.

Though that’s future Michaels problem when in two weeks he’s called into the headteachers office to talk about not encouraging violence…

The gingerbread man that is still in Michael’s pocket gets put in a cupboard soon as he and Penelope gets home while she’s busily distracted trying to put Bluey on the tv by herself. On a normal day he’d not allow it as a form of punishment, but even he can’t deny the enjoyment of those little Australian dogs…

There’s a reason why he sometimes calls Penelope his little muffin after all.

When you get back from work and give him a quick kiss, of course only after saying hi to Penelope who continues to sit watching tv, he can’t stop the words from spilling from his mouth.

“Penelope’s teacher talked to me after school. Apparently she’s been using NFI at break time and made a boy cry…” He says, watching about a hundred emotions go through your face. Though the one he least expects for you to settle on is amusement, as you begin laughing hard.

“She really is your daughter I suppose!” You laugh, practically crying as you wipe your eyes with the back of your hands. “Never thought she’d be showing this early!”

“Oh… bugger off!” Michael groans in mock frustration.

“Careful Mikey you know how impressionable she is!” You continue to laugh, practically red at how frustrated your husband now looks standing in front of you. Again, that little scrunched up expression evident on his face.

“There are so many words I want to call you right now…” He moans, stepping towards you with a dark look in his eyes that you can’t help but feel attracted to.

“Oh really?” You begin, smiling as you wipe the final onslaught of tears from your eyes. “Maybe you can tell me tonight? When we do that thing?”

“Oh is that still on the table?” Michael says, his mood a compete turn around as his face looks surprised and yet also thrilled. “I’d have thought-“

“Oh please baby. You really thought that since you were acting like a spoilt boy you wouldn’t be getting a reward? Well then I suppose it’s a good thing what will be happening tonight is not a reward for you then my love. But in fact a punishment. There will be no outfit anymore, no more of that thing you like for a long time. Do you understand that?”

“Yes ma’am…” Michael murmurs, his eyes dark and hooded as he bends his head down about to kiss you. That is however, before Penelope comes running round the corner with panic on her face.

“Mummy mummy mummy! Please don’t punish daddy! It was my fault!” Your daughter begs with genuine horror in her voice. “Pleeeeeeeease don’t punish him!”

“Oh no it’s okay baby!” You say, kneeling down to take her in your arms. “I’m not gonna actually punish daddy you don’t need to worry about him.”

“Do you promise?” She asks, looking at you with such an adorable pout on her face you honestly can’t think of anything cuter at that moment, even with the reasoning for it lingering in the back of your mind.

“I promise.” You say, bringing her in for a big hug while she burrows her head into your body and wraps her own smaller arms around you as tight as she can.

And as Penelope’s distracted, you make sure to wink at your still flustered husband and mouth three simple words at him that makes him somehow flush an even deeper shade of red.

Definitely a punishment.

[thepisserrrrrr]

in my household, being gay is completely normalized. ever since i came out to my mom as pansexual two years ago, it hasn't been a secret at all in my house. then two years later, my younger sibling came out as lesbian. that wasn't a secret either.

i have two younger sisters, ages 11 and 6. they both hear about me and my sibling's gay shit all the time and what sort of effect has it had on my sisters?

none.

literally no effect at all.

if anything, it has turned them into far more accepting and good people.

my 6 year old sister teases my sibling about their girlfriend all the time, she treats it and processes like any straight relationship.

my 11 year old sister keeps a straight ally pin on her backpack when she goes to school, and she wholeheartedly accepts and loves every gay and trans kid she comes across in school. pronouns don't confuse her in the least.

my 6 year old sister watches Heartstopper with my family, and her only reaction to watching Nick and Charlie kiss was a disgusted 'ewwww!' which is the same way she reacts to seeing anyone kiss, that's the reaction most little kids have when they see two people kiss.

my 11 year old sister goes to pride events with me and my sibling and she came home the exact same wonderful girl she was before she went.

my two little sisters have never once questioned who they are attracted to. i swear to God, my 6 year old sister literally comes home from 1st grade with some new little 'boyfriend' of hers every day. my 11 year old sister swoons over Chris Hemsworth.

neither have questioned their sexuality, neither have questioned their gender identity. they just love.

and if one day in the future they figure out that their identity isn't what they thought it was, they will not be afraid to tell me or my mom. they will feel safe and accepted in this house because we treat people like fucking people.

take this as a fucking sign, conservatives. we are not brainwashing children, YOU are brainwashing children. if you think that your kids are going to 'become trans' or 'become gay' just because they look at a fucking rainbow for three seconds, you are the problem. WE are not the problem.

educate your kids, don't shelter them.

[storm-angel989]

can I request Valentino x daughter reader who unalived someone? How would he deal/react? Sorry if it's too much, you don't have to do it

💣anon

There are few things in this world that sober us faster than death. 

Around me, the city continued to buzzed with the sounds of the night. Cars honking, people yelling, the hum of electricity. Two hours ago I had been in the thicket of it, laughing and drinking. The flash of smiles across the dance floor, the movement of bodies under the flashing lights, the too loud music obscuring any outside noises. After all, no one wants to be interrupted while they’re having a good time. 

The events of the night began the way all bad relationships start. A brought drink late in the night. Sweet, sloppy kisses back and forth to the beat of the music, sweating in the heat on the dance floor. My father owned the majority, if not all of,  the clubs within the pride ring, and he’d tell you himself it was simple math. The more you dance, the more you drink. 

At first I thought I downed the last drink too quickly. His arm around my shoulder, a suggestion to get some fresh air. Ducking away from my friends, and the coolness of the back alleyway. More kisses, and the same sweetness on my tongue. 

I couldn’t be sure how long I had been out there, but something shifted as suddenly as it came on. Gentle hands turned rough, the feeling of gritty concrete against the bareskin of my back turned to dirt and hard ground. A sharp pain, a tug, and the sound of fabric as it tore from my body.

Growing up Valentino’s kid, Vox and Velvette’s niece, I had been taught to defend myself. When I turned eighteen and started going out to clubs, I had been properly outfitted with firm lectures on club safety and armed with the most advanced concealed protection.  The decision was instinctual at this point.  

My brain didn’t register reaching for the gun. Nor did I stop to think before I fired. His body collapsed onto mine and I scrambled away as quickly as I could. Around me, the night moved, oblivious to the actions in the alleyway. My mind raced and for the first time in my life,  I hit the SOS button on my VoxTech watch and sank down to the ground. My mind went numb and wrapped my arms around my knees as I stared at the would-be rapist.

To be the only child in the lives of the three most powerful beings in Pentagram city, it felt like forever before I heard my father’s voice booming voice from the street.

“Reader? Reader!” Valentino yelled. “God fucking damn it, bebita where are you?”

I tried to open my mouth but the words to answer caught in my throat. To my relief, his head turned and he raced towards me. Some part of me knew he was speaking, but my brain couldn’t make sense of it. 

Behind him, my Uncle Vox and Aunt Velvette stood, surveying the scene. Neither looked particularly bothered by the fact that there was a body in the middle of the alleyway, or my gun on the ground next to it. 

“She’s in shock, Val. And probably still drunk. Or drugged,” my Aunt Velvette said as she knelt down next to me. “Come on baby, let’s get you home. Valentino, you get her home. Vox, let’s clean this shit up.” 

My father wrapped his arms under mine and pulled me to my feet. A silent limo ride home and as he stepped into the elevator, he hit the button for his studio. I glanced at him. 

“We’re going to get you cleaned up downstairs,” he said by way of explanation. “Housekeeping already brought down clean clothes. They’re in the nurses office. I want you to shower in one of the bedrooms and make your way down there, alright?”

I didn’t respond. As soon as the elevator door opened, I let him guide me into the eerily silent studio, down the dimly lit hallway to one of the countless hotel rooms. As soon as I was inside, he shut the door and locked it. 

“You’re going to strip all of your clothes, put them in the garbage. You’re going to shower with every product in that bathroom and wrap yourself in the bathrobe hanging behind the door. Do you understand me?” Valentino asked, not unkindly. “Daddy will take care of it, but I need you to do your part.” 

I nodded and stepped into the spotlessly clean bathroom. Numbly, I did exactly as he instructed. As I wrapped the robe around myself I caught my reflection in the mirror.

The eyes of a murderer stared back at me.

My stomach turned and I coughed bile and vodka into the sink. I heard the door knob turn and felt my father pull back my damp hair. 

“It’s alright honey, get it out,” he said softly. 

“Daddy, I killed someone,” I choked out as I turned to face him. “Daddy, I…”

“Shussh,bebita,” he interrupted gently. His hand cupped my chin in his hands and gently wiped my mouth. “It’s okay. Daddy took care of it.” 

“Daddy, he-”

“Your Uncle Vox caught it all on camera,” he continued. “The drugging. The almost rape. You did nothing more than defend yourself. Not that anyone will ever know that you had any involvement.”  He walked over to the garbage and tied the bag that contained the remains of my clothes. “Not that anyone will ask questions, but if they do sweetheart, you know nothing. The tapes from the surrounding areas are gone, understood? Now let’s go get you checked out, hm?” 

I let him guide me out of the bathroom and down the hall. Unlike all the other times I had been in there, the nurses office was completely empty of everyone except us. 

“Sit on the bed,” Valentino instructed. “I’m going to take a blood sample. See what’s in your system.”

I obeyed and a few seconds later, the door opened as Vox and Velvette walked in. 

“How’s our sweet girl doing?” Vox asked as he sat down on the bed next to me. He ran a hand down my back. “Honey?”

“Val, is she out of it or just in shock still?” Velvette asked as she locked the door behind her. 

“I’ll know in a moment, is it all taken care of?” Valentino asked as he walked over to me. 

Vox stood up and crossed his arms. “Of course it is, I…” his voice trailed off and he looked at me. “We can talk about it later.”

“Bebé Muñeca, give me your arm,” Valentino told me. 

I offered him both and he tugged up the sleeve of my left arm. A quick pinch later, he had a vial in his hand. He turned away and I watched as he added several droplets of my blood to a card. Instantly, a line turned bright green, purple and pink. 

“Interesting mix. Had to be in his salvia. Did you see them kissing or sharing drinks?” 

“Both,” Vox replied. “I’m sure he slipped it under the tongue. She wouldn’t have noticed anyway, it’s so sweet.”

Sweet. I thought the kisses tasted that way because of the drinks. Guess now I knew better. 

“Baby, do you want a shot or a drink?” Valentino asked as he turned to me. “I can give you the drugs to counteract it either way, but you choose.” 

I swallowed and looked at the three of them. “Daddy, I killed someone.”

I watched them exchange glances and a strange expression crossed my fathers face. Sadness? Concern? Slowly, he nodded. 

“Reader,” my Uncle Vox said softly. “Honey, look at me. Your daddy asked you a question.”

I turned my head back towards Vox and our eyes met. Warmness washed over me and my mind turned from numb to a peaceful mix of relaxation and happiness. Flashes of the night, dancing with friends, taking shots of vodka and climbing in the limo as I waved goodbye to my friends. My Aunt Velvette helping me into the shower and wrapping myself in my bathrobe. 

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” I asked.

“Babygirl, do you want a shot to help your hangover or do you want to drink it from a cup?” Vox asked. “What would feel better to your body?”

“Probably the shot? I feel tired. Auntie Vel, what time is it?” I asked. 

“It’s late,” she replied simply. “Almost bedtime. Once your Daddy gives you the shot, we’ll go up to bed.” She sat down next to me. 

“I don’t remember the car ride home,” I said as my father pulled my arm towards him. “How much did I have to drink?”

“Too much, sweetheart,” Valentino replied as he slid the needle into me. “But this will make you feel so much better.”

I felt the cool liquid slide into me and tiredness washed over my body. I leaned onto my Aunt Velvette’s shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt my fathers hands lift me up and the movement of his body as he carried me out of the room. 

“Don’t worry bebita,” I heard my father whisper.  “Daddy will always take care of you.”

[fandomfucker]

heyy, would you be able to write a fluffy rhea x reader one shot please?

one where reader and rhea have been dating for a little bit and reader has a kid (like 1 year old or something), but rhea doesn’t know yet. reader has a conversation with rhea and confesses and rhea is shocked, but asks to meet them. as soon as she meets the baby, rhea falls in love with him/her and adores the baby so much and grows to love him/her like her own. and just make it like really fluffy please?

it’s okay if no ☺️

I don't know a lot about kids so please bear with me, and apologies for taking forever. Please enjoy ❤

Words: 2,336

I was so nervous I could've thrown up.

Rhea and I had been going out for a few months now and she was coming back tomorrow after having not seen her for over two weeks.

And since we've already been going out for a couple of months, I figured it was either now or never with telling her about my daughter, Celia.

She was almost two now and my absolute pride and joy. Her father hadn't been in the picture since before she was born but I wasn't nervous telling Rhea about him. Just her. Because if she wants to have me she has to have my daughter too and if she can't deal with that then...

Let's say that my saying I'm nervous is a severe understatement. I was absolutely terrified.

Neither of us had said it yet, but I love Rhea. So much. So if my having a child is a dealbreaker then I don't even know what I'll do.

Tomorrow I'm going to be picking her up from the airport after her last match against Raquel Rodriguez. They're giving her a two-week injury-scripted break after having been in multiple WWE events each week the past few weeks.

We've both been really looking forward to it and had even started planning some stuff for us to do while she was here. Luckily we actually live only one city apart so she doesn't have to get a hotel or stay at my house, just in case anything goes wrong.

Which, I don't think it will but you never know.

I was currently bathing my daughter before bedtime, the worry must've been evident on my face.

"Mama?" Celia spoke up.

Looking down at her I saw her looking up at me, her eyes fixated on my face. There was a little crease of confusion and concern between her brows.

"Yes, my darling?" I questioned her, bending down to give her forehead a kiss as I filled the plastic cup with water again to rinse her hair out.

"Why sad?" She asked innocently, splashing her rubber duck in the water as she played. This duck was Sir Quacks a Lot, who was married to the other Sir Quacks a Lot. They had drama with the Mrs Quacks a Lot and we're currently in an argument about Baby Quacks a Lot.

"Nothing for you to worry that pretty little head over," I grinned, booping the top of her nose, sending her into a fit of giggles and splashes.

After Celia's bath, I dressed her in the fuzzy brown bear onesie I had found for her not too long ago and put her to bed.

Walking back downstairs after making sure Celia was asleep, all the nerves and doubts I had managed to push aside came back and hit me.

I went to go grab a glass of water, noticing that my hand was starting to shake. I decided to just go straight to bed. After all, Rhea was getting in pretty early so I had to be up and get to the airport also super early. At this point, all I could do was hope that she wouldn't leave me.

-Time Skip-

Waiting at the terminal Rhea would be coming out of with a bouquet of flowers was nerve-wracking as hell. She had texted me the estimated time they were supposed to land but it's never exact so I didn't actually know when she would arrive.

After a little over half an hour, I finally saw her plane land and make its way to the little hallway between the plane and the airport. Another twenty minutes later I saw her. For the first time in over two weeks, we were in the same place at the same time, together.

My breath caught in my throat as I watched her look around for me, our eyes finally meeting from across the room.

I watched as her gorgeous face lit up and she started to make a beeline for me.

Momentarily forgetting my nervousness I grinned and stepped forward to meet her in the middle as we collided into a tight hug.

"Hey, beautiful," I spoke, my voice thickening with emotion.

I felt Rhea release a deep sigh of relief against me before she responded, "Hey, baby."

"I missed you," I croaked into her neck, shoving my face into her and breathing her scent in.

"I missed you too," She replied as she stroked my hair with one hand and my lower back with the other.

Pulling myself away from her I just stood there and stared at her face for a second before speaking, "Let's go home, yeah?"

She nodded and grabbed my hand as we started to walk towards the luggage claim to pick up her suitcase.

"So, are those for me? Or..." Rhea playfully questioned me, trailing off at the end as she gestured to my hand holding her flowers.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. I had completely forgotten about them in my excitement of having her here with me again.

"Yes, they're for you, sorry," I apologized, blushing deeply. She chuckled and took them from me, smelling them before kissing my temple.

"They're beautiful, Love. Just like you," She smirked at me causing me to blush yet again.

I ducked my head down to hide the blush as I grinned widely and giggled.

We made idle talk as we walked to the luggage claim and then grabbed her luggage before making our way to my car.

Getting in the car my previous nervousness hit me again in full force. Pausing to just rest my hands on the steering wheel and take a breather I could feel Rhea turn to me in concern, "What's wrong?"

She was giving me an opening, it was now or never.

"I have something I need to tell you." Slowly I pulled my gaze from the dash of my car to her eyes. Her brows were furrowed in concern and her mouth was pulled into a frown.

"Is everything okay?" She asked sort of hesitantly.

I nodded quickly, "Yeah, it's just...something I haven't told you yet that I probably should have."

Rhea nodded in encouragement for me to continue.

I took a deep breath. "I have a kid."

Silence.

"What?"

"I have a daughter. Her name is Celia. She'll be two in October." I whispered into the quiet, too scared of her reaction to be any louder.

She looked lost in thought for the next few minutes, slumping back against the seat.

"I'm sorry for not telling you but I could never find the right time and-"

Rhea cut me off, "Hold on. Just, stop."

I shut my mouth, terrified out of my mind of what she was going to say next.

"I just need a second to process this."

"Yeah, no I understand. It's a lot to take in." I quietly replied, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. She sounded choked up and on the verge of tears which made me start crying.

"Because I thought you would leave and I was scared." I sobbed, covering my face with my hands as if to conceal the tears.

"No, no no no no no." Rhea clamored, reaching for me over the console. "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." She tried to reassure me, smiling softly. "I could never leave my best girl hangin'."

I giggled at the reference to one of my favorite movies ever and wiped my eyes and nose with the back of my sleeve.

"C-can I meet her?" Rhea asked hesitantly, "It's okay if not I completely under-" I leaned over the console and kissed her, effectively shutting her up.

"Of course, you can meet her. She's actually been asking for quite some time now when she gets to meet 'Ree-Ree'." I laughed, recounting the many times she asked for another bedtime story about "Mama's friend".

Rhea beamed and kissed my cheek, reassuring me once again that she was okay with me having a child. We'd be having a more in-depth talk about it later on but right now it was time for them to meet.

We pulled up to my house almost half an hour later, where my sister was watching Celia while I was out. 

Getting out of the car, I grabbed Rhea's luggage for her before she even had a chance to grab it and walked up to the door with my keys. Taking a deep breath I unlocked the door, pushing it open before standing aside for Rhea to walk in first.

She nodded in thanks as she walked through, looking around and taking in her surroundings. My house was a bit more on the unconventional side, being a maximalist and all. 

"Zoey?" I yelled into the house to find her after closing the door behind us. "Kitchen!"

I rolled Rhea's suitcase against the wall a little ways away from the door and motioned for her to put her backpack there as well before following me.

I made my way to the kitchen with Rhea following idly behind, still taking in my house. As soon as I laid eyes on my daughter in her booster seat I smiled and made a beeline for her, making "monster" grabby-hands.

She squealed with delight, grinning madly all the while as I unbuckled her and picked her up above my head, blowing raspberries on her exposed stomach making her squirm and giggle.

Bringing her down to rest on my hip I kissed the top of her head as she buried it into my neck. I turned around when I remembered that we weren't alone.

Zoey, my sister, and Rhea were standing next to each other, both watching the two of us with a smile on their face. I side-hugged Zeoy hello before introducing them to each other.

"It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard so many things about you and Y/n even made me get into wrestling." Zoey exclaimed excitedly, making Rhea laugh. "I've heard a lot about you as well so it's great to meet you too."

"Well, I better get going I have to run some errands before I get home to let the dogs out." Zoey excused herself, grabbing her bag before making her way back over to me.

"Bye-bye CeCe." She cooed, tickling her neck before giving her forehead a kiss. "I'll see you later, sis," She gave me another side hug.

"Rhea, it was lovely meeting you, maybe we can all get together soon while you're here? Oh! We could do a double date with you two and me and my partner!" She excitedly exclaimed.

"Totally! That sounds great, we'll definitely have to get together. I can't wait!" Rhea replied enthusiastically. Zoey gave Rhea a quick hug before bounding out the door, leaving us alone with my daughter.

Rhea slowly walked up to us, I could read the nervousness on her face.

"CeCe, this is mama's friend Rhea, remember?" I spoke gently to Celia. She lifted her head from my neck and looked at Rhea with her big beautiful eyes. I could see Rhea's initial hesitation melt away as they locked eyes.

"Hello there, little one." Rhea greeted her softly, waggling her fingers at her like how she does when she's in character. 

Celia must have recognized either her name or her picture because she then started to bounce in my arms as she giggled and held out her arms to Rhea to hold her.

"You wanna hold her?" I asked her, shifting my hold a bit on CeCe.

"Um, I-I don't know. I'm not really sure how I should hold her." Rhea stammered.

"Just like this," I replied, gesturing goofily to how she rested on my hip. 

"O-okay," She half-smiled nervously, grabbing Celia under her arms and hefting her gently onto her hip. Celia giggled and wiggled around the whole time, putting her hands on Rhea's face and patting them around.

"Sorry, she likes to do that," I apologized embarrassed.

"It's all good," Rhea laughed, gently removing Celia's hands from her face.

Grinning at my two favorite girls I made an offer they couldn't refuse. "How about y'all go and play while I go and make some breakfast yeah?" 

"Yes!" Celia squealed, squirming enough that Rhea put her down. "That sounds great, Love." Rhea chuckled.

Celia raised her arm near where Rhea's hand rested, asking for her to hold her hand. Rhea grabbed a hold of her hand and was immediately pulled away towards the direction of the living room. Rhea shot me a look of panic before disappearing from my view making me laugh.

I put on some music and began making breakfast as Rhea and Celia played in the living room.

After I finished making breakfast I set the table as well, wanting a nice fancy breakfast for Rhea's coming home and first time at my house.

I made my way to the living room to get the two of them to come eat but stopped short in the doorway when I saw them.

Rhea sat on the floor crisscrossed in front of Celia with a tiny plastic crown on her head, a pink plastic teacup in one hand, and a giant plastic dinosaur in the other.

Celia stood in front of her also wearing a tiny plastic crown on her head but I could see that Rhea had given her one of her necklaces to wear as she poured the two of them cups of tea. 

I smiled as I watched Rhea play pretend with her, not wanting to interfere with the adorableness. Just seeing Rhea wearing her scary full black outfit with dark jewelry and makeup wearing a tiny pink crown was enough to make me fall madly in love right then and there. And I think I did.

"I hate to interrupt, but breakfast is ready," I spoke up, finally announcing my presence.

Celia bounded over to me, holding out the end of Rhea's necklace she was wearing to me. "Look what 'ea gave me!"

"Wow! What a lucky girl you are! Let's go wash up for breakfast though, yeah?" I picked her up and set her on my hip as I turned to look at Rhea who was blushing furiously.

Grinning at her I playfully asked what was the matter.

"Didn't know you were there," Rhea mumbled, reaching up to pull the crown off.

"Leave it, I like it," I smirked as I turned on my heel to make my way back to the kitchen. I think this could work.

[circe69]

Hello, hello!

I was wondering if the prompt

20.) hand massages - "let me practice on you please? i just need to make sure i'm good at it." *ends massage* "well? how was it?" *takes a deep, shaky breath* "you have to promise you'll only do that for me." Was already taken.

If not, could it possibly be a Simon Riley x fem reader (or gn) ?

He deserves so much affection…

If not, then thank you for reading. I hope you have an awesome day

Stay safe 🤍

hi! yes of course! another sweet nonnie also requested this specific scenario, but i wasn't sure how to put that on here. anyways, thank you for participating in my special!

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 #𝟐𝟎 - 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 - ❤︎

You walked down the dim-lit hall with wet boots clanking on the ground, lotion in one hand, and the other being bandaged and empty. Coming home from a mission was never easy, but this one in particular really made you question your entire career.

It was storming outside, and your head was killing you from all the guns that went off right next to you ear, but you knew someone else that was having a harder time than you.

Ghost never let things get to him, it took a lot to shake him up, but after tonight, you weren't sure if he'd ever be the same. There was a little boy, probably not much older than 5, who had died due to casualties, and those very same casualties would be the cause for Ghost's guilt for the rest of his life.

People died all the time, Ghost being the reason, but kids were different.

You took a deep breath, finally nearing the Lieutenants metal door and preparing yourself to hopefully make his night a little better.

What am I even doing here? There's nothing I could do that would help, you thought, wondering if you should just turn back around. You took a minute to observe your surroundings, the loud and shaky AC harmonizing with the rain pouring on the window at the opposite end of the hall, the few lightbulbs hanging only a few inches above your head, and the thunder that shook the entire base every few minutes, leaving you restless and yearning for someone to just be with.

Raising and clenching your fist, you hesitatingly knocked on the door, 3 times, just like you always did. It was quiet, but you hoped it was enough for him to hear.

Seconds went by, and your pride was already too deep in a ditch to knock again. You started to turn around and head back to your room when the door swung open.

You stopped in your tracks, abruptly turning to face him, the man who you had once been terrified of, but now see him as someone who's just sick of everything he has to do, but does it anyway.

"Y/N." His voice was deep, like fire crackling and splitting wood. It sounded the same as it always did, except for the slight turn his words took at the end of his sentences.

"Sir."

His eyes grazed over you, they looked tired and black around the edges, most likely due to the face paint he feverishly tried to rinse off.

"Do you need something?" He eyed the lotion sticking out of your pocket, resulting in you pulling your tank top over the edge of your pants to hide it.

"I was actually just coming by to make sure," You stopped for a second to scan over his face, "make sure you were alright."

Ghost stood there, leaning against the doorway and eyebrows furrowing so deeply, you could see it through the fabric of his mask. His hands were tight, muscles still tense from events that had happened hours ago.

"I'm alright," he started to close the door right in your face, but you placed your hand against it just in time. "Lieutenant." You were known as somewhat demanding, but always gentle simultaneously. Ghost was confused by it, and how your demeanor always contradicted itself, but it intrigued him nonetheless.

His eyes were drawn to your hand, veins popping out and knuckles turning white due to the amount of strength you were pushing against the door. Due to how hard you were trying to just be with him.

"Get in." He turned around and let you into his room, turning on the singular light as he walked past the switch. He took a seat on his cot, causing the metal springs to groan under his weight, and you pulled up a chair right across from him and sat down, scooting in slightly to be closer.

You bit down on your lip to conceal the smile you so badly wanted to show, but was scared Ghost would kick you out immediately.

"Hurry up and do what you came here to do." His knees were touching yours, but neither of you moved; you felt your stomach jump just at the feeling alone.

You held your hand out, signaling to him that you wanted to see his hand. He hesitated, his eyes shifting from your hand up to your eyes than back down again. Ghost finally caved, his hand outstretching onto yours, and letting the weight of it slowly relax.

"People say I'm really good at it," you paused to watch his eyes widen at the vague statement, "Hand massages, I mean." Your mouth stretched into a smile as you saw a tiny one show through his mask but quickly disappear.

"I'll be the judge of that." His words were quiet, seductively quiet.

You slowly removed the black, leather glove from his calloused hands, and through it over on the bed behind him. Uncapping the coconut scented lotion, you squeezed out a tiny bit on your middle finger before screwing the lid back on the placing it on the carpet below you.

Spreading the cream on his hands, you slowly worked with every one of his fingers, trying to ignore the pleased noises coming from Ghost's throat but never leaving his mouth. There was a particular spot on the webbing between his thumb and finger that made his eyes close in delight, and you pressed there for a little longer to relieve any tension he was holding.

It was all the guns he held, all the triggers he had to hover above for hours at a time before moving. All the salutes and punches he had to swing, it all piled up on his shoulders and the pressure worked its way down his arms and onto his poor hands. Hands that had held his dying family, dying dogs, dying boys. Hands that wiped blood off of himself, not all of it even being his own.

As you finished massaging both of his hands, and hearing him breathe deeply in and out, relishing in the soft scent that reminded him of you, you patted his palm to tell silently tell him you were finished.

"Well? How was it, Lieutenant?"

His eyes slowly opened again, pleased to see that you really were sitting in front of him, and it wasn't another dream.

"You have to promise me something," Ghost said, sliding his fingerless gloves back on and cracking his knuckles.

"What is it?"

He stood up, hovering almost 3 feet over where you sat and crossed his arms as he looked down at you. You tried to disregard taking in his body in its entirety, but your eyes found it hard to stay in one place.

Ghost finally broke the silence that felt like hours but somehow seconds at the same time, "You'll only do that for me."

You smiled, and nodded in fast agreement, you knew from the minute his eyes locked onto yours that he would be the only one you'd ever want to do anything for.

[tmntstorycomp]

A Coming Out Story?

An old pride piece that was a discord server exclusive for our pride event lol

Massy stared at the rainbow flags that were thrown across the floor, but mixed within them? A plethora of various other identities. He pulled his legs up onto the couch, leaning against the arm with a huff as he narrowed his gaze. 

It was that time of year again. When Leo would throw his flags everywhere and declare it was Pride month again. And Massy hated it. 

Everyone had a set identity, everyone knew who they were. And in a way, Massy felt like he was supposed to know as well. 

With a huff, his face became half buried within his crossed arms. He kicked a flag off of the couch, but his gaze shifted when a large green hand caught it. 

“Hey, you watch out where you’re kicking stuff. Leo will throw a fit if you’re caught disrespecting the trans flag,” Raph laughed, carefully setting the flag down on the coffee table. 

“Who cares what Nardo believes? If he didn’t want things getting stepped on, or broken, he wouldn’t have left them laying around the floor like this. Honestly, it’s almost more disrespectful.” Donnie spoke as they walked past Raph, tapping away at their screen. Massy had half a mind to ask what Donnie was up to, to distract himself from the mess that is the living room.

But he caught sight of the two magnets attached to the metal shell that the softshell wore and he kept his mouth shut. A white, purple, and gray flag with a black triangle was mounted right above one that was purely yellow, white, purple, and black. 

“Come on, Donnie. You know Leo is just excited.” Raph elbowed his brother lightly, causing the nerdy one to scoff. 

“I would prefer his excitement-”

“What about my excitement?” 

A portal opened and Leo came through it, dumping another box of flags onto the floor with a big grin. This time, it was purely green and blue flags. Massy remembered them distinctly as the MLM flag. Leo claimed that it was the best one, Massy wasn’t so sure. 

“I think you’re making a mess of our home,” Donnie bit out. 

“And I think someone isn’t in the pride spirit.” Leo teased as he plucked up a rainbow flag from the ground and tucked it against Donnie’s goggles as the purple turtle glared at him. 

“You have thirty seconds to run before this becomes a hate crime.”

Leo’s eyes went wide, but his grin only seemed to grow as he turned on his heel and sped out of the living room. Donnie watched their phone, counting down the seconds before they chased after him. This left Massy with the largest turtle.

“.. You look sad, Mass. What’s going on?” Raph asked as he moved to sit on the couch next to the boy. 

Massy huffed, tapping against the fabric of the couch before he sat up, moving to face the large snapper. 

“Everyone has themselves figured out. They get to celebrate who they are and be happy about it. And I’m not.” Massy complained, glancing back down at the array of flags that seemed to stare at him like starter pokemon. 

“Oh! Well.. Maybe you should start with identifying what you like? I mean.. Do you like girls?” Raph asked. 

And Massy paused, because that was a loaded question. He thought girls can be pretty, and certainly he has found himself swooning over some of the female characters in cartoons he watched as a kid, but he wasn’t sure. So, he answered with a shrug. 

“Okay.. Do you like boys?”

And again, the same response. He didn’t know. He certainly wasn’t opposed to boys. He saw a lot of attractive males in the world. But he didn’t know. 

“This is.. Tougher than I thought.” Raph admitted, laughing awkwardly as Massy’s eyes narrowed in on him. 

“Maybe you’re bisexual? Or pansexual? I mean, if you kind of like both boys and girls, surely you would be in one of those categories?” Raph offered, and Massy mulled them over for a bit. 

He knew what they meant. Though he would admit, the difference between the two was still confusing in his mind. But… Maybe he was? Afterall, he didn’t have a particular interest in either gender. Just.. Interest. So.. Bi/Pan Massy. That was the answer. It had to be… But if it were, why did it still feel so off. 

“I’m not sure that’s-”

A loud crash came from the kitchen and Raph was on his feet in a moment, making his way over to the doorway to peer inside. Massy hopped up, following the large turtle. He managed to squeeze his way past Raph in order to see what had happened. 

An entire shelf had been knocked over in some kind of struggle, Leonardo was soaked from head to toe. Donnie had him pinned down to the tile with the rainbow flag stick being jabbed into the knot on Leo’s mask. 

“Stop! That one doesn’t fit my aesthetic!” Leo shouted, but Donnie just kept at it. 

“Donnie! Come on, get off him,” Raph instructed as he made his way over. He grabbed Donnie by the shell and hauled them up. But Donnie’s hands gripped Leo’s mask and pulled the slider up as well. 

“Hey! Won’t you- Oh hey, squirt,” 

Leo seemed to focus in on Massy standing in the doorway. The preteen started to laugh, watching the awkward display that the older turtles had found themselves in. Leo reached up and pinched Donnie’s hand, who released their grasp with a squawk. 

“Leo, come help me clean this up!” Donnie shouted, but Leo rolled out of Raph’s grasp and scooped Massy up into his arms. 

“Sorry, gentleman. I have favorite duties to attend to.” Leo spoke, sticking his tongue out. Massy laughed more, laying his head on Leo’s shoulder as the hero made his way to the dojo. 

Massy seemed to perk up more, he always enjoyed watching Leo train. He wanted to be a ninja too, but he was always told he was too young. It felt ridiculous, especially knowing that he was currently the same age Mikey was when he started fighting. 

But as they made it to the dojo, Leo set Massy down on one of the mats and moved to sit next to him. The slider sat cross legged, hands folded in his lap as his eyes closed and-

“Nooo, wait. Meditating is so lame, come on, slice something,” Massy complained, falling dramatically back onto the mat. 

Leo laughed, peeking one eye open to look down at Massy.

“Meditating is an excellent way to find yourself, troublemaker. It centers you, keeps you focused. I would argue that it’s actually the coolest form of training that we were taught by our father.” Leo noted, straightening his back some. 

“You’re just feeling lazy,”

“That’s irrelevant.”

Massy huffed, moving to sit cross legged next to Leo, hands folded in his own lap. He looked over Leo for just a moment before letting his eyes close as well. 

But he didn’t see anything. No, he had no idea how to find himself. He had no idea where he was. Everything still felt like a confusing whirlpool of different words and phrases that didn’t feel right at all. 

But maybe starting out with sexuality wasn’t the best way to start. Afterall, how can you determine who you like if you don’t even know who you are yet?

“.. How did you know you were trans?” Massy asked the quiet of the room. 

“Mostly clerical error,” 

“Leo..”

“Okay! Okay. It just.. Is a feeling. You feel a certain way in your heart and sometimes it matches your sex and sometimes it doesn’t. For me, it didn’t match. I do not match biology.. But I am still me. And there is nothing that is going to change me.” Leo explained. 

Massy opened his eyes to find the older turtle smiling down at him. Massy tries to examine himself in that light. 

“I.. Don’t know if I match.” Massy responded. His body wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, not in the way he knew Leo to complain sometimes. But, it did feel like he was struggling to fit into it. Pieces didn’t always line up in his puzzle. Like he was trying to fit two separate pictures together. It just.. Didn’t seem to make sense to him. 

Leo grinned, lightly smacking the kid on the shell before pulling out the all too familiar blue, pink, and white flag. Massy let the flag fall into his hands and he stared at it, eyebrows coming together. 

“Then congratulations, you’re trans,” Leo spoke definitively before pulling out his sword and swinging a circle around Massy. “Now get out of here, you’re disturbing my meditation,” 

Leo’s laugh echoed as Massy fell through the portal and the kid tucked himself into his shell. He tumbled against a hard floor, skidding against it for a moment before poking his head back out. Everything was purple and dark, leading Massy to know exactly where he had landed. 

He pushed himself up to his feet and stared at the flag still in his hands. Definition wise, Leo had to be right. If he wasn’t cis, he was trans. In some way, shape or form, because he didn’t identify fully with being a boy. Right? Right??? Massy didn’t know. And he dropped the flag to the floor as he started to walk his way to where he could hear the clacking of a keyboard and angered mumblings. 

“This is why I hate this month, there is no such thing as subtlety anymore…” Donnie muttered from their spot in their chair, lounged back and glaring at their large screen. 

Massy paused for a moment, but then glanced back at the flag that was almost consumed by darkness. He should pick it up, lest Leo get blamed for something he didn’t do. 

“Masaccio, I see you’ve been deposited in my lair,”

Massy turned back to Donnie but the purple turtle’s eyes were still glued to the screen. Massy forwent the flag and made his way over to the desk, grabbing the smaller chair that he had helped design personally for himself.

“Leo said I was ruining his focus,”

“Ha. That’s rich. I don’t believe that he’s focused ever a day in his life.” Donnie mocked before finally tearing their eyes from the screen to lock onto Massy. 

“Is there anything you need my help with?”

Massy stared at him for a long moment, rocking in the chair before he nodded his head. Donnie’s eyebrows shot up for a moment but they turned themselves to face Massy, gesturing for him to continue. 

“.. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I like, I don’t even know if I actually like people,” Massy rambled out, crossing his arms over his chest. And Donnie seemed mostly uninterested with the concept at hand. 

“Sexuality is.. Complicated. But for the most part, irrelevant. You will find someone you want to click with. I mean, look at me. I don’t find many people fascinating. But, I have had a very select number of partners. Maybe, you just want to connect with someone before you like them. There’s no shame in being demi.” Donnie instructed, holding one of their fingers up. 

“So.. I could just like people I’m attached to?” Massy asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Absolutely! After all, isn’t that what any relationship is? You don’t particularly care for anyone, but then you get to know them and they become important to you. That’s how that works.” Donnie waved their hand around, and Massy extended his legs out to rest them on Donnie’s armchair. 

“Is.. Is that your stance on gender too?” Massy asked.

“For the most part? Yeah. Obviously, every being is different and one’s gender won’t fit the mold for other people’s gender. It’s statistically impossible. But, at the end of the day, being one hundred percent masculine or feminine is.. Not possible. You can definitely lean, and most people do. That’s how you form the gender binary. But it’s a scale between the two ends and sometimes you find yourself not even on the scale. I actually made this chart that describes gender as more a plane than a spectrum if you want to see-”

“No thanks! I uh.. I think I get the picture,” Massy cut them off as he pulled his legs back and moved to stand up from his chair. The young turtle quickly pushed his chair in, starting to walk away from the genius with his head still spiraling. 

“Sure! Just leave before I can go on my detailed exploration of gender and society!” Donnie called after the younger turtle. 

Massy just picked up his pace, starting the trek back to his room to attempt to process all that he just learned in such a short timespan. His hands came up to his head as if that would stabilize anything, but it wasn’t much help. 

“Hey Massy- Massy?”

Massy kept walking to his room, not caring much that Mikey had just gotten home and was on his heel. 

“Hey, kid, what’s going on with you?” Mikey asked, but their voice was laced with far more concern than it was joy. Massy whined as he collapsed onto his bed, grabbing his blanket to wrap himself up with. 

Mikey was instantly concerned as he moved closer to sit on Massy’s bed. 

“Come here, kiddo. Tell me all about it,” Mikey offered, holding his arms out. Massy peeked out from his blanket hiding spot, tears already filling his eyes. But he moved quickly, pressing himself into Mikey’s side and letting the orange turtle’s arms wrap around him. 

“What’s wrong, hun? Did something happen?” Mikey asked.

“I.. I tried to figure myself out so I could actually participate in pride this year. You guys have so much fun and I.. I just don’t know myself. I want to know myself but I don’t. Raph says that I’m likely bisexual or pansexual because I don’t have a preference between genders. Leo says that I’m trans because I don’t feel like my sex matches me fully. Donnie says that I could be demisexual if I don’t have a preference but then he also said that gender is-”

“Gender is a plane?”

“YES! And now I don’t know! Because nothing feels right, but nothing…” Massy chokes on his tears for a moment, pressing his face into Mikey’s plastron as the older turtle rubs his shell. 

“Oh, baby.. It doesn’t matter what or who you are,” Mikey offers, pressing a light kiss to the top of Massy’s head. The darker turtle looks up at him, “How does it not?”

“Well, first of all, you’re thirteen. You aren’t supposed to know who you are yet. You haven’t lived enough yet. Sure, people figure themselves out at any age. But there is absolutely no shame in not knowing anything. You have an entire lifetime,” Mikey offered, wiping away Massy’s tears carefully with his thumb. 

“And? You may never know. You may just like what you like, feel how you feel. Labels are an easy way to describe and connect to others, but they aren’t required for you to feel prideful and proud of who you are. You are so many wonderful thing, Masaccio, you don’t have to put a label on it,” 

Massy stared up at Mikey and he nodded slowly, and finally, that felt right. 

“I don’t need a label,” Massy states, and his voice is filled with more confidence than it had been before. 

“You don’t need a label,” Mikey responds. 

Massy, filled with relief, turns to deadweight in Mikey’s arms. He huffed softly, cuddling into his side while Mikey kept rubbing his shell. 

“I would still enjoy a pride flag…” Massy muttered, which caused Mikey to laugh.

“Luckily, you have one,”

By the end of the day, Massy had his own little flag hanging in the living room with all the others. This one was lighter, but it was perfect. 

Green, white, blue, and orange. 

Massy felt it very fitting.

[deusexmachinawitch]

Satella's Manifestation Journey of 2023

It's been a long while since I posted, especially since I had to go into hiding due to work reasons. I even had to remove my Discord and everything but I continued my manifestation journey even with the silence.

Many things have changed, in fact, I am still processing how different my life is right now. It all changed in just a month and a half, right before December. But I think I should start from the beginning...

As you know, I started my manifestation journey to manifest my SP who happened to be my ex. During the journey, I revised my Mom into being the mother I never had and for other things to happen like my work career boosting and being spoiled randomly.

But my SP was resisting really badly for some reason.

One of the biggest dates related to my SP was coming, since I was about to coincide with him for 4 days and I felt awful. I really had started having everything I wanted but yeah, SP was really an issue and I began having doubts about what I really felt towards him. Then, I saw my friend group guilt tripping me into trying to get back with him by making the first steps and that's when I realized... This isn't what I want. By having these people not conforming and pushing me into doing something I didn't want (and I think it was because he wanted to come back to me but was too prideful to do so), I decided to explore my feelings more. After he misbehaved during a random encounter and mistreated one of my new friends, I suddenly realized that more than genuine feelings... There was something else.

That's when I talked to my therapist and I discovered what a "trauma bond" was. From there, the whole "him not conforming" made sense. It wasn't really love, it was just... Attached me to the memories and these feelings of pain where fruit of the trauma more than love. After realizing that, I refocused everything.

I did my usual subliminals routine and affirmed for my success and happiness. And when I was ready, I decided to do the list method for two things: For a new SP that came out of thin air and for a new friend group that wasn't like this one I currently had. I wanted to have what I truly deserved. Love and respect from a loved one and from a friend group who truly minded my feelings and didn't trample what I felt.

I also affirmed for bigger success in my career.

In just one week, no kidding you guys, just one week... I was at a party to celebrate the anniversary of something really important to me...

I met the exact guy I wrote in my list. Like, to a T.

Same ethnicity, same physical appearance, way of dressing, personality, even the smell... Like, literally the same cologne I wrote just for the laughs to test the law. Like, basically, I wrote a bunch of stupid stuff I liked to test the law and the guy had them.

Not only that, I networked with a bunch of people for work and we all clicked so well that we started talking together every day after the party.

Since then, we went to travel together and had a lot of adventures together. List!SP included.

We did a lot of work projects that were successful and when the date of the dreaded encounter with Ex!SP happened... All of them bought tickets to travel WITH ME so I wouldn't have to face him by myself and to defend me in case either him or my old friend group tried to guilt trip me.

And that's when List!SP confessed to me and said that it was weird but he really felt madly in love with me, that something was telling him that I was the right one for him and that he wanted to give a try dating.

So... I ended up going to this dreaded event with a bunch of new friends who happen to be quite successful and with a handsome man next to me who treated me like a lady. My friends took care of me and List!SP made sure I was always well, that people were not making me uncomfortable and even fixing my hair and clothes so I would look stunning.

Ex!SP was floored and so were my old friend group. I found out later that all of them thought I was just moping because I disappeared and were trying to hook me up again with Ex!SP "out of pity" until one of my new friends told them the truth which was that I was actually travelling across the country with people and working hard.

From there, I still work and travel with my new friend group and enjoy my new relationship with List!SP. He's really attached and devoted to me, makes sure I never lack everything and comes to see me when I really need him. I am also really spoiled by him and truly cared for him. I taught him a bit about manifestation and he believed me, so he tried it to make his relationship with his parents to be better and it's working.

Outside of that, I still get spoiled by everyone including my Mom and my life is becoming my dream life bit by bit. I want to make a manifestation list for 2024 but I wonder what to choose.

The only negative things I can say is that because I got so emotionally drained by my trauma bond from Ex!SP and my old friends, is that I feel sometimes really detached and dissociate a lot. Especially when I revise events and the people involved in them don't remember stuff because I jumped into another reality when what happened didn't happen. Sometimes I feel like I must be crazy and think weird stuff like List!SP not being real and such.

List!SP understands this since everything was too good to be true and too sudden and still cares for me and respects me. He gives me space and time to process things at my pace while making sure everything I know that everything is real and I'm safe, even offering to come to my therapy to know how to help me feel better.

All I know is that as soon as I just understood myself better and knew what I really wanted, everything instantly clicked and came to the 3D really fast. Especially because I wasn't attached to any results, feelings or anything. I just knew this was what I deserve and already have, so I was safe.

I don't know what more to say.

Thank you for being patient for my return and for reading all of this. You can send me stuff at my ask box to ask about this like methods and such. Anything to help anyone with their manifestation journey.

I'll try to find ways to talk to you guys as well on private messages but for now, happy manifesting.

Satella

[earth-18104]

Young super heroes

Since I already made a list of characters for the X-Kids, might as well make one for other Young super-heroes groups. In my universe, Earth-18104, things are almost the same as the original universe, this includes the heroes, but I changed some things based on their ages to fit in my universe and make more sense.

This is list main goal is just to help me keep track of everyone’s ages while I write :P Here is the list of students of the Xavier's Intitute.

• The Power Pack.

The first group of young superheroes, outside the X-Men, was the Power Pack, the siblings Alex (12), Julie (10), Jack (8) and Kate Power (6). In 2009, while their parents were trying a new efficient source of power, the Anti-Matter Engine, the siblings encountered an alien that claimed that his some planet was destroyed by the same energy source their parents had found. Before his death, the alien passed his abilities to the children. 

After that, the Power Siblings became the Power Pack and went on different adventures as superheroes, while their parents remained clueless about their powers for the next years. The original members were just Alex as Zero-G, Julie as Lightspeed, Jack as Counterweight and Kate as Energizer.

In 2016, with the opening of the Future Foundation, Reed Richards’ new group of heroes, the Power Siblings split to different teams. Alex (19), Jack (15) and Kate (12) joined Richards and his “students”, while Julie (17) went along with the Runaways. 

In 2022, since the original Power Pack were all adults at this point, a new team was formed by Valeria Richards (15) as Brainstorm, Lunella Lafayette (11) and Devil Dinosaur, Jo-Venn and N’Kalla Grimm (11); and Jack Powers (25) and Franklin Richards (18) as their mentors. 

*Franklin Richards is older than his comic counterpart. The Infinity Gaulent Arc also happened in this universe and last six years, between 2004-2006. Franklin was one of the people turned into dust by Thanos, so he is also younger than he should be. N’Kalla and Jo-Venn are Ben Grimm and Alicia Reis adopted children.

• The Runaways.

In 2012, a group of teenagers, children of a group of super villains known as The Pride, discovered their parents’ evil plans and decided to escape together and frame their parents of murder. The “team” was formed by:

•  Alex Wilder (16), the leader, a big fan of superheroes.

• Nico Minoru (16), whose parents were dark wizards. She then became the holder of the Staff of One.

• Karolina Dean (16), whose parents were aliens exiled from their home planet, so she had her powers suppressed by a special bracelet.

• Chase Stein (17), the “brawn” of the team, who later gained the telepathic link to Old Lace, Gertrude’s dinosaur.

• Gertrude Yorkes (16), a smart and cynical girl, whose parents were time travellers and had genetically engineered a dinosaur, Old Lace, to share a telepathic link to her.

• Molly Hayes (11), the youngest of the group, also a fan of superheroes, who possessed super strength.

As time passed, the team lost some members and gained new, such as: the cyborg Victor Mancha; a skurll war prince named Xavin; Klara Prast, a girl coming from the past; Rufus the Cat and others.

*I thought the X-Men were weird, but the Runaways win this one.

• Young Avengers.

While the students of Academy X were facing the events after M-Day, a new group of superheroes was born. Nathaniel Richards (16) travelled back in time and ended up stuck in 2014. With so many tragedies happening in the last years, and knowing what future was coming, Nathaniel used Vision’s plan to recruit the next generation of Avengers to create the Young Avengers, looking for members that could replace the original Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

• Kate Bishop / Hawkeye II (18), was not what he was looking for initially, but with her stubbornness, she became an important member and then later the leader.

• Jonas Vision was created by Nathaniel using Vision’s old body, to assist him in his mission.

• Eli Bradley / Patriot (16), the grandson of Isaiah Bradley, the “Black Captain America”, received the original Shield and became part of the team.

• Theodore Altman / Hulkling (16), the unknown son of the Skrull princess Anelle and Mar-Vell, had the abilities to shape-shift since a young age, and decided to join the team to use his powers to be a hero. Years later, Teddy assumed the throne of the Skrulls and Kree alongside his husband, Wiccan. 

• Billy Kaplan / Wiccan and Tommy Shepherd / Speed (16) are the reincarnations of Wanda Maximoff’s sons, that had been created using the magic of the Darkhold, before being erased from reality. Billy and Tommy reincarnated in different families, but kept the same appearances as the ‘originals”, as well the abilities they never manifested.

• Cassie Lang / Stinger (14), is the daughter of Ant-Man II. Since she was a child, Cassie wanted to be a hero like her father, so when she saw the opportunity to join a team of Avengers, she went along, even if she wasn't invited at first.

The Young Avengers were not accepted by the older heroes, but they continued their journey as crime fighters for years, facing different types of dangers together. In 2015, during the events of Kang’s Dinasty, they were among the many, many heroes that went to fight the tyrant, and Nataniel had to face his alternative self.

In 2016, during the Skrull Invasion, the Young Avengers helped defend New York and its civilians. They were invited by Henry Pym to join his new Avengers Academy in 2017, but mainly declined, but in the same year, the events of Young Avengers: Children's Crusade, not long after.

In 2019, the original team split up, Nathaniel (21) went to stay with the Richards/Storm in the Baxter Building and joined the Future Foundation with Jonas, Cassie (19) and Eli (21) went to Avengers Academy. While Kate (23) became leader of the West Coast Avengers, she was still part of the team with Billy, Teddy and Tommy (21). But they also had new members for the new team: 

• America Chavez (18), who had the abilities of teleportation, and soon became leader of this new team.

• The reincarnation of God of Mischief, Loki and his underworld “servant” Leah, a witch.

• Noh-Varr / Marvel Boy (21), a Kree Warrior that fallen on Earth and became a hero under Carol Danvers and Monica Rambeau’s tutelage. 

• David Alleyne / Prodigy (20), super genius, he was a former student at Academy X, but lost his powers after M-Day.

• Aña Corazón / Araña (15), one of the many ‘spider-people’ of New York, she joined the team on her free time. 

• Doreen Green / Squirrel Girl (21), a girl with the ability to communicate with squirrels, she has been trying to be a superhero since a very young age.

*I know that later Nate Richards / Iron Lad disappears and Jonas dies, but in this universe they stay. Nate is adopted by the FF and Jonas kinda becomes part of the family, and also Viv Vision is his sister too🙂

*Loki stays as a hero, he just grows normally like any kid, and him and Leah live together in New Asgard or somewhere else. In the comics, Aña and Doreen never joined the YA. Tommy and Billy also treat Viv, Vin and Jonas as siblings.

• Future Foundation.

Not really a team of superheroes, but more an agency to fund scientists and young genius that had potential, Reed Richards hoped that these individuals could plan a better future for the planet if he helped them and kept them in the right path. 

In 2016, the first members of the foundation were Richards himself, Susan Storm, Peter Parker, the reformed Dr. Olivia Octavius OC, Alex Powers (19) and his younger siblings Jack (15) and Kate (12), and the android Dragon Man. The younger members were: Valeria Richards / Brainstorm (9), Franklin Richards / Power House (12), the Moloids Tong, Turg, Mik and Korr, Bentley 23 (10), the Morlocks Artie Maddicks (20) and Dorian Leech (19).

Later, new members joined the Foundation, like Leech and Artie’s old friend, Takeshi Matsuya / Wiz-Kid (16), in 2017; Hunter Creed / Rescue (13) OC in 2019; Nathaniel Richards (21) and Jonas Vision in the same year;and Lunella Lafayette (10) in 2021, with Devil Dinosaur, of course.

*The Future Foundation is not a school or something like that, it is more like a program, if you show potential for science and other things related, Richards finances your project.

*Artie and Leech are older here, since the Massacre of the Morlocks happened in 1997, them and Wiz-Kid, were victims of the Snap, so they're is six years youngers than they should be, same thing to Franklin. Hunter Creed is one of my favorite OCs, he's just there :)

• Avengers Academy.

Following Norman Osborn’s plan of forming a new team of heroes, right after Dark Reign in 2016, the Avengers decided to open a place to train children with superpowers and protect them from the world, and so prevent them from losing control and becoming villains. So Henry Pym founded the Avengers Academy, a program similar to the Initiative.

Alongside Pym and other Avengers, Alex Powers (20), Julie Powers (19), Claudette and Nicolle St. Croix (27) were also instructor for the students. In 2017, the first year of the school, the students were:

• Humberto Lopez / Reptil (16), who has the ability to turn into different reptiles.

• Jeanne Foucault / Finesse (16), has the ability to master any skill. 

• Ken Mack / Mettle (17), suffered a transformation that gave him super strength and durability.

• Brandon Sharpe / Striker (17) who can manipulate and generate electricity.

• Mad Berry / Veil (17) is able to transform her body into gases.

• Jennifer Takeda / Hazmat (17), her unique biology can produce deadly substances.

The next year, the program received good results, so the school expanded and received new students: Aña Corazón / Araña (14), Jack Powers / Mass Master (17), Kate Powers / Energizer (15), Takeshi Matsuya / Wiz Kid (17), Joaquín Torres / Falcon II (14), Victor Alvarez / Power Man II (14), Ava Ayala / White Tiger (17), Kevin Masterson / Thunderstrike (16), Juston Seyfert / Sentinel (14), Michiko Musashi / Turbo (16), Jonhathon Gallo / Ricochet (18), Jimmy Santini / Batwing (14) and Emery Schaub / Butterball (15).

In 2019, Alani Ryan / Loa (18), Shela Sexton / Escapade (16) also joined the school, and after that, Brielle Brooks / Bloodline and Rebecca Marchand (18), in 2020, and in 2022, Norman Harold Osborn / Red Goblin (10) also joined.

• The Champions.

After their debut as superheroes, Kamala Khan, known as Ms. Marvel (17), the Nova Cadet  Sam Alexander, (15), and the new Spider-Man Miles Morales (16), started to accompany the Avengers on their missions, but soon became disillusioned by their behavior, believing they were not doing enough for the people. In 2021, Kamala Khan then formed a new team and became their leader. The first members, besides the original trio, were:

• Amadeus Cho (21), a young super genius that had suffered an accident with Gamma Radiation and became the new Totally Awesome Hulk, and later was called Brawn. His twin sister Maddy Cho sometimes joined the team as support.

• Hunter Creed / Rescue (15) OC, son of the villain Sabretooth, also a genius and former student at Jean Grey School, he helped with technology and equipments.

• Viv Vision, daughter of Vision, she is a sintezoide that helped the team with technology and to keep track of different events around the world in case the Champions need to help outside the country.

• Riri Williams / Iron Heart (16), a very intelligent girl who created her own equipments based on Iron Man’s armor.

The first team also had a young version of Scott Summers that travelled from another timeline, but he soon went back to the past and his actions created a different timeline. Later the team started operating globally, and new members joined:

• Nadya Pym / Wasp (19), Henry Pym’s lost daughter that has been raised in the Red Room since birth, she was brought to New York by Janet van Dyne, joined the team and took her place as the Wasp.

• Fernanda Rodriguez / The Locust (17), a young vigilante that inherited the tittle and armor of Red Locust from her family, to protect people in need.

• Victor Alvarez / Power Man II (19), student from the Avengers Academy, he gained super strength after absorbing the life force of the 107 people who were killed in a protest against Norman Osborn.

• Joaquín Torres / Falcon II (18), also a student from the Avengers Academy, he had suffered a transformation after being kidnapped by the Son of the Serpent and gained wings, becoming a hero working under Sam Wilson’s tutelage. 

• Rayshaun Lucas / Patriot II (17), Sam Wilson’s apprentice, he gained his own shield and has been training to be a hero one day.

• Qureshi Gupta / Pinpoint (14), who has the power to create portals, he became a superhero by himself back on his hometown.

• Abigail Boylen / Cloud 9 (17), a young human girl that once came in contact with an alien gas that gave her the ability to fly. At first, she was not interested in becoming a hero, but accepted being part of the team.

• Lana Baumgartner / Bombshell (19) was born with the capacity to create explosions and has been acting as a solo hero since she was young.

• Amka Aliyak / Snowguard (17), who gained the ability to turn into different animals after rescuing the Inua spirit, Sila.

At some point, Riri, the Cho twins, Nadya and Hunter helped Viv fix and reprogram her late brother Vincent Vision and bring him back, and later he became an honorary member of the team. One day, in 2023, during a mission, Viv went haywire and exploded, destroying Kamala Khan’s school and causing the authorities to pass a new Law, the Underage Superhuman Wellfire Act, that prohibited any individual under the age of 21 from acting as a superhero without supervision.

Kamala was outraged and promised that the Champions would keep fighting. Then, more members kept joining the team: Cindy Moon / Silk (23), Kareem / Red Dagger (19), Anã Corazón / Araña (18), Tiana Toomes / Starling (18), Lunella Lafayette (12) and Devil Dinosaur, Robbie Reyes / Ghost Rider (19), David Alleyne / Prodigy (24), Valeria Richards / Brainstorm (16), Jo-Venn and N’Kalla Grimm (12), Sooraya Qadir / Dust (24) and Gabby Kinney / Honey Badger (13).

• Strange Academy.

In order to train new sorcerers, Doctor Stephen Strange opened his Strange Academy with the help of other powerful individuals, like Nico Minoru and Doctor Vodoo, accepting to teach any child with the abilities for mysticism and magic.

Some of the student, all with different abilities, were: the twins Iric and Alvi Brorson (15); Doyle (15), the son of the terrific Dormammu; a frost giant called Guslag (14) sent to the school by Loki; Emily Bright (15) who was born with the ability to control magic; Zoe Laveau (16), a young lady from a long lineage of female magicians; Despair (16) or Dessy, daughter of the demon S’ym; Germán Aguilar (15), who can create animal projections; Calvin Morse (14) that was later possessed by Mister Misery; and Shaylee Moonpeddle (15), a half-fairy young girl, and others.

• The Next Avengers.

Other possible future heroes, working solo or as members of these famous teams, are: 

• Mayday Parker, who becomes Spider-Girl in 2024, she was born in 2009.

• Kaelynn Alexander, Sam Alexander’s sister and daughter of a Nova, born in 2009.

• Eleanor “Ellie” Camacho, Deadpool’s daughter, possible mutant who hadn’t activated her powers yet, born in 2009.

• Davey Maddox, Multiple Man’s son, born in 2009.

• Dylan Brock and Sleeper, sons of Eddie Brock, Anne Weying and Venom, born in 2011.

• Norman Harold Osborn / Red Goblin, Harry’s Osborn’s son, current student at Avengers Academy, born in 2012.

• Danielle Cage, daughter of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones, born in 2015.

• William Nelson, Tigra’s son, born in 2016.

• Gerald Drew, Jessica Drew’s son, future hero named Black Mamba, born in 2016.

• Shogo Lee, Jubilee’s adopted son, who has the ability to turn into a dragon, born in 2019.

• Benjamin “Benny” Parker, Mayday Parker’s younger brother, born in 2019.

[keylovesstuff]

Little Events

Omg It's a Key Post you guys know what that means...I'm sharing another story hehe.

AO3

FFN

Toadsworth had returned home from finishing the last of his errands at about nine that night, taking great care in making as little noise as possible. Slipping off his shoes, he placed them next to the other little pair by the door and then headed over to the couch to turn on the lamp. As predicted, It was left unoccupied with the exception of Peach's purple blanket and a couple of books still open. The older mushroom let out a small sigh and shook his head, first folding the blanket and laying it on the back of the couch and picking up the books to take to his bookshelf. One thing that he's learned about taking care of a child for the past two years, was that no matter how many times he would tell her to clean up after herself once finished using something or leaving an area, it never got done. He took great pride in making sure his house looked perfect, that nothing was out of place and other than a few other factors, being messy was definitely in the top five reasons why he did not want kids of his own. Peach, out of all the others, had chosen to be with him though and at such a small age and that had meant a great deal to him even if he never voiced it outloud.

Other toad parents promised him that with age, kids would be better at picking up after themselves. However, he was slightly doubtful as these same people still talked about how their older kids would leave their rooms and other areas of the house from time to time. Peach would be different though, It was his goal to raise a proper young lady in every area. For now he was more than ok with picking up after and teaching her the correct way of doing things. Toadsworth walked down the hall that held the rest of the rooms and took notice that with the exception of his bedroom, all the other doors were left ajar with the lights on. Passing by the bathroom and closet he took a quick glance inside before turning the lights off before making his way to his little girls bedroom. Instead of being met with a small figure curled in her bed, the white and pink flower covers were halfway pulled off the mattress, one of her pillows was missing, there were toys and clothing scattered around the floor, and Peach was nowhere to be found. 

If this hadn't been the third night in a row and fifth occurrence within the past week he would have frantically run out of the house and waking up the entire street to search for her, like he did the first time. This time he knew where she was, they would both clean all this up in the morning before she went off to school so for now, he turned off the light and closed the door and went to his room. The door to Toadsworth's quarters wasn't even halfway open when a few books toppled over startling the five-year old awake with a loud gasp.

"Stay away" she shouted, grabbing the nearest item and throwing it at the shadowy figure in the doorway. 

He had to admit that for how young she was she had a decent arm. If the room wasn't so dark, she might have hit him as she intended. Instead, the cheep-cheep plush landed two feet in front of where he stood. With the light now flipped on, relief instantly flushed over her face as she pulled the cover down from her mouth. 

"Papa, you're home! I was waiting for you but I got sleepy." Peach smiled telling him, suddenly wide wide awake. 

Toadsworth took in his room's altered appearance. The case that shelved his book collection was almost entirely empty save for three. Several missing books were meticulously placed domino style in front of the door, while others were lined up side by side from one end of the room to the other in front of the bed. There was a half circle of stuffed animals around his bed as if they would sprang to life and defend the girl in the bed should an intruder come close. She surrounded herself with pillows all over the bed and it seemed she had a plan B If all else failed, leaving the window a great bit open.

"I see. I do apologize for disturbing your rest. If I may ask, what all happened here?" He asked, looking to get to the heart of the matter. With the books from earlier in hand, he took them over and placed them on the bookshelf before moving to collect the others.

"Mmm, I don't know" Peach answered, taking in the state of the room better with the lights on. "I'll help" she climbed off the bed, rubbing the wrinkles out of her nightdress. Starting on the further side of the room.

"You're right about that my dear and we'll straighten up yours in the morning." He took the books as she handed it to him. "I am looking for a better answer than 'I don't know' however" he said, giving her one of his serious looks.

"After Toadina left, while I was sleeping, I thought I heard a noise and I got scared, so I came to your room where it was safe." Peach finally told him as she picked up the toys. He knew she was leaving out extra details but he could fill in the rest.

"Did you not want to go next door to Ms.Toadina after you got scared? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded you coming over.  I would've picked you up once I came home" He assured following her to her room to drop off the stuffed animals. 

"No cause they said if it sees you outside alone it'll get you and it was dark." She shivered at the thought, placing a few plushies on her bed and putting the rest along with the other toys and clothing in a pile in the corner for tomorrow morning.

Toadsworth knew it was just one of those passing phases that would have to run its course. The 'they' she was referring to was her classmates and The 'it' was some mysterious being meant to scare and take children in the dark. Mere playground rumors meant to spook out each other, he remembered participating in that chatter in his youth. Peach put on a tough front and brave it through the nights and he always offered his room for comfort if she needed. She insisted that she was a big kid who was able to sleep in her own bed.  All he could do was continue to assure and provide her with the security if she chose to come to him. 

"Can I get a snack and drink before I go back to sleep?" She asked, putting the pillow back on bed and pulling the covers back up on the bed.

"Of course. While you eat, I'll get myself ready for the night and if you stay up we can read a story before you sleep." He offered and she nodded with a smile.

It took about forty-five minutes and she sat in her bed waiting for him to exit the bathroom. After she brushed her teeth she returned and he had her pick out a book that they read together. They talked a little bit longer before she started to doze off and snore quietly. Toadsworth left the room as quietly as he could without disturbing her.  He took a few notes in preparation for tomorrow's work and then completed a chapter of the book that he was reading before shutting the lamp off and calling it in for the night. The sound of knocking slowly pulled him out of his deep slumber, flicking on the light he put on his glasses to see a bit better. Peach stood in the doorway clutching her clothing sniffing quietly, he beckoned her with a hand to come in closer.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" She asked, standing in front of him. He sat up in bed and offered her a hug. Peach happily accepted returning his embrace and giggled a little when he pulled her up on the bed beside him.

"One of these days I'm not going to be able to pick you up that easily. You're about as tall as me." He chuckled as she made herself comfortable.

"You just gotta go workout" She told him with a laugh laying her head down on the pillow facing him.

"You tell me where I have time to go for a workout" He jokingly said, taking off his glasses and turning the lamp off laying back down. Instinctively, she moved closer to Toadsworth as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder 

"We can go together during the weekend" she answered seriously and then added "I'll even workout with you" she laughed again.

"We'll see. For now it's time to quiet down and rest, we both have a busy day tomorrow."  He hushed her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Ok goodnight. I love you" she told him, closing her eyes.

"I love you too sweetheart" he said, combing his fingers through her hair. Within minutes she was fast asleep. He followed soon afterwards.

[kaythefloppa]

TLK - Brutus

“There are two kinds of pain in this world, the pain that hurts, [and] the pain that alters"

Very few people know this (myself included until earlier this year) but in the early drafts of The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, the villain of the sequel was supposed to be a rouge elephant that was given the prototype name of Brutus (because Shakespeare, I guess?) instead of Zira. He would’ve been the leader-turned second in command of his own outcasted group of animals, Kovu included, as he was the son of Scar, and plotted with the hyenas to use Kovu as a puppet king to rule the Pride Lands in Simba’s place.

As time went on, he was phased out, and in the final film, Zira and the Outsiders became the villains. Some production notes involving the elephant’s role in the story can be found here on Worthpoint (A.K.A. The fucking goldmine of TLK 2 production media).

I knew I immediately had to include this guy into my fanon, (which takes a lot of inspiration off of early drafts of the movies) bc the idea sounded pretty badass: I was already planning on having an elephant villain in my verse, but since I’m a total hack, I decided to use this semi-canon elephant villain and away I went to the writing and drawing board.

More info under the cut

With the end of Scar’s reign and the banishment of the Hyenas who had followed him came the return of Aminifu’s elephant herd. Amongst their ranks was a calf known as Butu (dull) who was the last-born before the elephants’ migration their ancestral home. The youngster hadn’t ever met Scar or his followers, but saw the kingdom’s metamorphosis from a barren wasteland to a flourished habitat.

He was incredibly curious of this new place that they would call home, and this excitement grew even more when other animal herds had followed the elephant’s migration. Being a youngster who up until that point didn’t interact with other animals, this was his calling to play. But he wasn’t always the most mindful of his endeavors, as with any kid who wasn’t properly taught to be careful when excited. Without even knowing it, he had almost inadvertently stepped on two infant lion cubs, and would have faced the gruesome sight if not for the roar of an angry lioness who swiftly took her cubs from under his hooves and slapped poor Butu on the cheek. Despite his apologies, Butu was faced with severe harassment from the lioness and a few others who stood by her side, and all in front of the watchful eyes of animals who’d been attracted by the noise. Fearing scrutiny from his herd, he refused to reveal the origin behind his injury, until the animals of the Pride Lands were called to Pride Rock for an important event; 

The same lioness was on trial for a similar attack on the king, and her family seemed to support her. Simba ordered them all out of the Pride Lands, with many animals booing and hissing at them to leave and never return. Even for a child, he felt a strange satisfaction of making fun of someone after they had hurt him, even joining in on the mockery, launching whatever childish insults he could, backed up with the rest of his angry herd. He learned a lot that day; About Scar and his hyenas, about Zira and her followers, and about who Simba was. But most of all, he learned about a little thing known as karma… and he certainly wouldn’t forget it — among many things.

Roughly a year after Aminifu’s funeral did Butu come of age to decide whether or not he would stay in his herd or live life as a rouge. Butu’s love for his herd remained strong, but he had chosen to separate himself from his herd and join a bachelor herd in another forest section of the Pride Lands. With the elephant’s maturity under the peaceful reign of Simba, life went well for him… until the day of the Crown Princess’s first hunt.

The Pride Lands were set ablaze, trapping Butu and his herd as if they were in an ambush. In all the chaos between trying to protect each other, and help other animals that were trapped in the inferno, the rouge was separated from his bachelor herd forever, and found himself engulfed in flame, seeing many feline-like figures running across the plains before blacking out.

In the aftermath, parts of his ear had been burnt off and several areas on his leg were swollen. His injuries made himself an easier target for predators, earning him even more injuries. The rest of his herd was gone, and his birth-herd was on migration as many herds were that season. For a while it looked like he was alone. Until a few days later where the King and Queen sought out survivors of the bushfire, and ensured that they’d all be treated by the Mjuzi. Seeing other animals with the same struggles as him eased his mind, and it wasn’t long until he had new faces to call friends. His empathy, sympathy, and his generosity earned him the unofficial title of the leader of their little “gang.” Things seemed to be making a slow incline upwards.

Until Kovu showed up.

News quickly spread that the savior of the Crown Princess during her botched hunt was none-other than Kovu, the hand-chosen heir to King Scar. Kovu’s integration into the Pride Lands, as per compliance with Mufasa’s law of debt repayal made several animals talk. Some guessed it was a ruse. Others believed his claims of having left Scar’s pride. Butu was curious above all else. He recognized Kovu as one of the 2 little cubs he nearly trampled on, the cubs who were carried away from the Kingdom. Now he was an adult and had saved the future queen from certain death. Both of them were survivors of the fire, so he was able to relate to them, even if they had been luckier than he was.

As Kovu’s time in the Pride Lands prolonged, Kovu interacted more and more with the subjects of the royal family, Butu included. The young lion seemed to be very sympathetic towards the survivors of the fire, always incredibly apologetic for what happened to them and for not being able to help them. His apologies were met with some understanding, it was a horrible circumstance. It wasn’t exactly his fault. It’s not like the fire was planned and that Kovu had specifically singled out only the Princess to be rescued above all else? Right?

When Simba had returned to Pride Rock, injured, and with the claims of an ambush, the kingdom went into an uproar, making sure that the backstabbing murderous Outsider was out of their home once again. But Butu and his gang weren’t satisfied with seeing him flee. They analyzed the King’s story; How Kovu supposedly lied about joining the pride, used the Princess to get close to him, and ambushed him with Zira. There was one thing missing. The fire. The fire that had threatened Kiara’s life before Kovu intervenened. Either that was a lucky variable that the rouge lion exploited… or it was planned. With how the fire came out of nowhere, it was easy to assume how it happened,

Butu, amongst his group, was none-too-pleased at this. Kovu was the source of his problems. Whether it’d be him directly or with help, hen thinking, the elephant and his crew vacated the Pride Lands, following Kovu’s trace to find him and perform vigilante justice on him. It had taken days until they found their trail doubling back home, only now, things were different. There was talks in the Pride Lands about the Outsiders, but not in the way the outcasts expected.

Kovu, the lion accused of attacking Simba, was now engaged to Princess Kiara. His sister, who was allegedly responsible for the fire that he exploited, that nearly killed him, had become leader of the new Lion Guard in Kion’s absence. This was enough for the elephant. The Outsiders had taken so much from him, were the devils in his eyes for as long as he could remember,  and yet here they were, basking in the sunlight, rewarded by the monarchy and cheered by his fellow Pride Landers. He wouldn’t stand for it. Not. One. Bit. All that mattered now was justice. Kovu had to go. Vitani and her Lion Guard had to go. All of Scar’s loyal followers had to be exterminated.

Giving up his old name, and dubbing himself Brutus in reflection of his tormented soul and his recent violent tendencies, the rouge and his gang reserved himself to the abandoned Elephant Graveyard, where no one would hurt them again. It didn’t matter that there was less food in the Graveyard, or that they had friends and family left behind. All that mattered to them now was justice. Kovu had to go. Vitani and her Lion Guard had to go. All of Scar’s loyal followers had to be exterminated. With the royal family united as one with the former exiles, they were a liability that had to be worked around carefully. But with the elephant’s brute strength, calculating mind, and a support group, he wouldn’t let anything stand in his path to level the playing field…

~~~

Character Notes:

Brutus and Mtoto are second cousins in my headcanon (i.e. Mtoto’s mom is the first cousin to Brutus’s mom or dad). I’m considering having Brutus’s branch of the family tree being OCs since I can’t really find a way to retroactively make any of the canon elephants his parents.

Since I age the characters like humans, and because I want to clear some air with both myself, and the audience about the timeline, he is 4 years old when his herd returns to the Pride Lands, 5 years old when Zira and the Outsiders are banished and Kiara is born. He’s 8 years old when Mtoto is born. When Aminifu dies he’s 17 years old. He is 18 when he leaves the herd (likely midway through Season 1). He’s 22 during Kiara’s first hunt, going closely on his 23rd year.

Voice-Canon: Denzel Washington (Robert McCall from The Equalizer trilogy)

My fanon of the events of TLK 2 are mostly canon-compliant (..mostly, I’ll try to illustrate the details in another post). So a lot of Brutus’s original story I had to alter or nix altogether for the sake of my verse. The biggest example of the change being where Simba yells at and humiliates him for almost crushing Kiara/Shani by accident. I felt like that was too out-of-character with canon!Simba (which I’m sticking true to in my AU) so I transplanted that situational archetype onto Zira, replacing Shani/Kiara with Vitani and Kovu, to make it feel more in-character, and to give a sense of irony to the later events of his story. This, I feel, also helped to expand Brutus’s hatred of the Outsiders, and why it hits hard to him when he realized the truth about what they’ve done and where they’re at.

According to a user on Deviantart who purchased the early scripts and production notes of Simba’s Pride, Brutus’s gang consisted of two twin cape buffalos (erroneously noted as water buffalos, one or both of them being voiced by comedian Paul Rubens,) a rhinoceros and a tick bird (the latter of whom would’ve been written to be Zazu’s wife in the story), and Kovu himself. I’ve recycled that ‘gang’ and that overall concept in my fanon (mainly so that the reveal of Kovu’s betrayal can be a valid motivating factor for Brutus’ downward spiral). I’m also considering having a giraffe in the gang because more herbivore villains are awesome.

This guy more than likely won’t appear in Roar Towards the Future, but will probably appear in a separate interquel story that takes place in the Pride Lands.

The background is edited by knightmare1985

I own nothing but the art. TLK belongs to Disney. 

[nerdygaymormon]

A few memories of my recent trip to Utah

I spent 4 days in Utah as part of a trip to attend the Gather Conference. 

I receive more hugs on these short trips to Utah than I get the rest of the year. I think the average queer Latter-day Saint is touch-starved and we need more opportunities to hug, to have someone put their arm around us, and so on. Touch is a way of feeling connected. 

Being with others who see me for who I am is healing. I don't have many people in my regular life with whom I can share all aspects of my life. It is such a relief to fully be myself with others and know they will accept and love me.

It's happened on previous trips to Utah, but this time more people introduced themselves and said they know me from my blog, from the chapter I wrote in a book, from the Lift+Love group I host, from podcasts I've been on, and so on. Mostly it's kind people just wanting to say "hi," and I love that, and I like to learn more about them and hear their stories. I do feel a little awkward if someone acts like I'm famous and they are fangirling. I'm just a regular dude who happened to have some opportunities to share his story.

Even though I said I don't like when others fangirl me, I found an exception where I liked it because it felt so validating. There was a moment when Ben Schilaty & I happened to be alone and I took the opportunity to introduce myself as David and thanked him for his visibility, that the work he does helps increase understanding. I've been following him since he participated on a panel of LGBT BYU students about 5 years ago. I've read his blog, his book and I listen to his podcast.

He responded by thanking me and it's nice to hear he's making an impact. He looked down at my badge with my name on it and he goes, "David Doyle! You're David Doyle! I know you!!! You had the thing in 2017 that went around! You're from Florida! You had the thing last year with Elder Renlund! You're amazing! David Doyle! I am finally meeting you! Allison Dayton says the best things about you!"

The rest of the conference, if we happened to be passing each other, he'd say "David Doyle!" as he walked by. It was cute. At the end of the conference, when the crowds had thinned, I was getting ready to gather my stuff and leave but Ben comes over and says, "I've been wanting to talk with you but I've been so busy." We had a few minutes and recognized each other as being on the same team in doing this work. He's prominent in this intersection of LDS & LGBTQ+, and it was surprising to have him know who I am.   

Friday evening a woman came running over and hugged me. 30 years ago I was a teacher at the Missionary Training Center and she was one of the missionaries I taught. This was her first time attending such a conference for LDS/LGBTQ people, she was there because two of her kids have come out, and she was so excited to see a familiar face. It was an amazing reunion. 

The RaYnbow Collective put on a Pride event on Saturday in the park behind where I used to live in the 1990's as a BYU student. 30 years ago I could never have imagined this happening in Provo. I had to go as a way to honor my younger, closeted self. The drag show was a lot of fun, very energetic!

There were no seats for the drag show, the audience sat on the ground, and my leg fell asleep. I couldn't get up. Some strong Samoan guy had to help. I was so embarrassed. I'm a very big guy and that certainly played a factor. Even after getting up, my balance was not right and I had to keep holding onto people in order to remain upright. I even needed help walking to the car.

All the feelings of shame about my body, my weight, my eating disorder, of worrying how others view me and wanting to be accepted and loved, all of that came rushing in. At the hotel I asked my friend @loveerran to take all the food from my room because of my eating disorder, but I still felt my feelings and had a good cry. I try hard not to let my social anxiety or body image or weight issues keep me from participating in life, but that night I wanted to hide away and never be seen again. The human mind sometimes is unkind to ourselves.

Despite that unfortunate episode at the park, I treasure this trip and all the people I met and friends I reconnected with. I returned to Florida with my batteries recharged, my resilience strengthened, and feeling seen & validated.

[elsiebarnes]

ABOUT — Elsie Barnes

name: elsie barnes

nickname: el, ellie, barnes

age: 35 years old

neighbourhood: briar ridge hill

career: event planner

time in briar ridge: most of her life, returned a week ago

IN-DEPTH — 

Ever since elsie was little, she could remember watching the stars and hoping for something bigger than the small town that she was born into. A small farmland that became her parents pride and joy but felt more like a prison to their only child.

They'd often share stories of their wilder nights out in town, all before her birth and the accident that had taken her mother's hearings and forced them to retreat from society.

For the most part, Elsie was a good kid in order not to create too much of a ripple effects on her parents who were hardworking and caring. But the end of high school brought out a sense of curiosity and a need to test the limits.

When the opportunity came for her to leave town, she jumped at the chance. It felt like it was fate as she'd just gotten a remote job as a personal assistant that provided her with the flexibility to live and be anywhere in the world.

The move to boston was much needed and breathed new life into her. She discovered a new town, a new relationship, and found more of herself there than she could have ever anticipated.

A few years came and went and her relationship came to an abrupt end with her ex-boyfriend returning home while she stayed in boston for the next few years.

It was time for her to discover what she wanted to do without having to put anyone else before herself. She explored herself in ways she hadn't felt like she was ever able to in briar ridge, even following a new career that opened doors she could have never imagined.

The life she built in boston felt like everything she'd dreamt of. Her work providing her with a larger circle or people and a reputable name for herself around popular circles but it all came crashing down with the news of her mothers diagnosis. The following week, she ended her lease and rushed home to help her parents cope with the news and land they adored so much.

It has now been a week of living back on the small patch of land she so desperately wanted to leave, and the feeling of being stuck has been heavier than ever before. But not as heavy as the guilt of the time she may have lost with her mother.

CONNECTIONS — 

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND: Elsie didn't do a lot of socialization outside of school and school activities so this would have either been a friend from class, school or the neighbourhood that she clung too given that she was an only child.

OLD FRIENDS: i kind of want them to have a falling out and they can run into each other, maybe realize how much they've missed each other since they're now in the same town.

RIVALS: Elsie is coming to town in the hope of making some kind of living, she's not normally the competitive type but maybe people see her as that and she isn't sure how to react. Potentially a one sided rivalry.

EXES: she dated people while she was in high school and was very much a people person so she would have probably had a few relationships during school and when she was in boston, after she broke up with her bf.

HOOK UPS / TINDER DATE: a lot of potential here because she is the type to date around and put herself out there, but this would have mainly been before she left for boston so a lot of time in between. Maybe they thought she ghosted them.

WORK / EMPLOYEES: eventually, she might want to get an assistant or work for a company so this could be someone that she works with or a vendor/photographer she works with a lot.

MORE TO COME AS WE PLOT

[luna-nigthshade-wood]

What they don´t know, will hurt them

Summary: Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.  

Chapter 40

As the memories progress, John cant help the guilt and shame that overwhelmed him at knowing all the things he had put his sons through, especially Dean. There was a time when he thought of himself as a good man, hell maybe even a hero, he saved people, goddamn it, but, as people tend to say, pride comes before the fall, and boy, has he been falling for a long time. He failed Dean in the worst way a father can fail a child whilst claiming to love him and isn’t that just neat? He pushed and pushed him until there was nothing left of that happy little boy that used to play with soldier toys and baked pies with Mary every Sunday. He molded Dean into a distorted image of what he wanted and then abandoned him to his luck, never caring if his son was okay and now, looking around there is no one to blame but himself

Sam is sure this is hell. There is no other explanation of what is happening around him. Funny how he always thought of himself as a good self-righteous person, God-fearing even. But as the memories continues, he recognizes that he was a shitty person and even more of a shitty brother to Dean, always thinking about himself first and last and always putting Dean aside. In his head, he is recounting the cases they went through and he can guess what is coming next, and he braces himself, because if there was a time where he recognized Dean was feeling terrible is what happened then and he is sure that the reality is going to be 10 times worse.

The scene lights up with the Impala pulling outside an abandoned house at night. There is a sense of urgency in the air as the brothers climb out and open the truck to pull their weapons. John is a little confused at this turn of the events, after all most memories had started with the boys working the case, but he is hopeful that at least nothing bad would happen, he would know if it had, right?

-What do got those amped up to?- “Sam” asks, and the Sam in the room feels sick knowing what he is about to see

-A hundred thousand volts- Dean responds- I want this Rawhead extra crispy. Now remember, you only get one shot with these things. So make it count- he adds, before they enter the house

The tension is high as the brothers search for the monster with apparently no success, however they do find the two young victims it took in the basement. They grab the kids and help them upstairs before “Sam” is grabbed by the creature. Dean makes a shot at it but he fails as the creature moves, the hunter tells his brother to take the children out of danger, so “Sam” lends him his weapon.

Suddenly the creature attacks Dean, pushing the hunter into an inundated part of the basement and Dean doesn’t think twice before electrocuting the monster with his weapon. The creature that was standing in a puddle. The same puddle that Dean was at, causing the electricity to travel from the gun to the creature and from the creature back at Dean.

The pain is almost unbearable as it happens on screen, and John is fairly sure that if it wasn’t for the curse, the shock alone might have killed them, which makes him go pale as he realizes the implications.

The scene turns black but doesn’t stop as the Winchesters´ watching faintly hear “Sam” calling for his brother. The scene keeps flashing one or twice half forming an image, as monitors beep and doctors talk before finally lighting up completely showing Dean waking up in a hospital room, and John feels sick just at seeing his oldest this weak, but he doesn’t have time to form any thoughts before a doctor enters the room:

-What´s up doc?- Dean says in a pitiful voice, every word leaving him breathless

-Hello, Mr…?- the doctor asks

-Dean is fine- the oldest hunter responds with a raspy tone

-Do you recall what happened to you?- the medic asks, getting a nod from Dean- You sustained really bad injuries when you were electrocuted, you got some nasty burns at the sole of your feet, but more importantly the shock did a number on your heart and nervous system, it was…

-Give it to me straight, doc- Dean interrupts- How bad is it?

-It is no good- the man says sighing

-How long?- Dean asks resigned, but not as sad as someone who was basically given a death sentence

-A month, if you are lucky, but son we have some palliative care that can…

-Can I see my brother?- Dean asks

-Yeah, of course, I will send him right in- the doctor says before escaping the room, leaving Dean alone for a couple minutes before “Sam” arrives

-Have you ever watched day time TV?- Dean asks in lieu of a greeting

-I talk to your doctor- “Sam” says with tears in his cheeks. Good, Sam thinks

-That fabric softener teddy bear. Oh. I am gonna hunt that little bitch down- Dean continues ignoring “Sam”

-Dean

-Yeah- Dean answers- Well, look like you are going to have to leave town without me- he states

-What are you talking about? I am not gonna leave you here- “Sam” responds and the reaction Dean has on screen almost breaks his family, as shock mars his face, before scolding his expression once more

-Hey, you better take care of that car, or I am going to hunt your ass- Dean deflects

-It is not funny- “Sam” says

-C´mon, it is a little bit funny- Dean claims- What can I say, Sam? It is a dangerous gig-  I drew the short straw. That´s it, end of the story- and the fact that Dean says it so callously leaves a sour taste

-We still have options- “Sam” interrupts

-Yeah, burial or cremation- Dean tells him- Look, I know it is not easy, but I am gonna die and you cant stop it

-Watch me- “Sam” challenges as he leaves the room and the scene cut

John lets out a small sob that progresses to full tears as he watches his oldest, his strong little soldier, laying on the way too big hospital bed. Guilt and shame fills him, when he remembers the message Sam has left after the fact, the voicemail he had heard maybe two weeks after Sam had left it, proceeding to ignore it as if it was just a normal call that one gets about one of your sons telling you that the other was dying. But as much as ignoring the call had been bad, what followed was even worse, because he didn’t even bother to pick up the phone to call and check on his sons, theorizing that if something bad had happened to Dean he would have known. Well, isn’t he just the parent of the year?

For Sam the most painful part of the scene is not the electric shock he got, but the casualness with the one his big brother embraces death. He feels ill, especially in lieu of recent events, that he just ignored Dean´s disregard for his health completely. That alone is powerful enough to almost make him ignore the rage he is feeling towards his dad for not showing up once again, because where the hell did the old man was when his son was dying in a hospital bed? Sam doesn’t care, and he hopes he doesn’t find out as to avoid another fight.

The scene starts again, showing Dean laying on his hospital bed, calmly watching cartoon reruns on the small TV. The peace that surrounds the hunter in the room is like a punch to the gut for his family, and it is thankfully interrupted by the ringing of a phone.

-Hello- Dean greets whoever is on the other line

-Why did my Fae´s charm connected to our deal just started to spin like crazy a few hours ago?- Faith asks on the other line, not even bothering with a greeting

-Hi, to you too Fay- Dean responds calmly- Didn’t know I have a tracker on me

-You don’t- the girl responds- It is a metaphorically speaking object that… you know what? Never mind. Now answer my question.

-I am dying- Dean says, once again too accepting for his family liking

-What?- Faith asks shocked- What do you mean you are dying?

-Got electrocuted while disposing a rawhead- Dean answers

-Where are you?- the Fae questions- Are you alone?

-I am at some random hospital in the middle of nowhere

-I will be there in a few- she responds

-Wait, F you really don’t have to…-Dean objects before he is interrupted by his friend

-Too late, I am here- Faith says entering the room, dressed in scrubs as a nurse would, and Sam can even notice a small badge attach to her “uniform”

-Visiting times are over- Dean deadpans as he closes his phone

-Well, then it is good than I am just a random nurse checking our local´s hero vitals, isn’t it?- she snaps back

-No bedside manners whatsoever- Dean says sarcastically

-If you are expecting a sponge bath, you are seriously out of luck- she responds, before asking- Now, tell me what the fuck happened to you?

-I already told you, got electrocuted. Doc said that the electricity fried my heart and I probably have only a month at most- Dean explains as simple as if they were just discussing the weather

-You will have a masive heart attack in 5 days- Faith responds after she grabs his hand, eyes glowing with power- You wont survive it- she says almost dropping his hand horrified by what she tells him and John just wants to shake his boy up as Dean remains unfazed at the proclamation

-At least it is going to be quick- Dean jokes, but it falls flat at the girl horrified expression- Hey, it is fine, it comes with the job, am I right?- the hunter tries to console her

-You are not going to die- Faith responds- Because I am not going to let you. I am going to heal you.

-Yeah, kind of guess you were going to say that- he scoffs, sounding oddly disappointed- Guess I better start thinking on a miraculous explanation for my cure, huh?- he claims jokingly, only to be met by silence- What is it?- he asks her confused

-I cant cure you- the girl admits after a minute has passed- I can heal you, but the damage it is to extensive for me to fix you

-But last time you did- the hunter asks equally confused as his family watching

-Last time you had treatable injuries with only slight damage to your vital organs- she explains- I can mend broken bones and stop internal bleeding, but damage to the heart and the brain… Well, let’s just said that things can get really bad really fast

-What does that means?

-It means I can heal some of the damage to your heart but it will never be what it once was. You will still need to take some meds and you will probably get winded easier, but you wont die- the Fae explains

-I am a hunter, that outcome will effectively kill my career- is Dean response at the proclamation

-So?- she replies

-Alright then- Dean answers with a cool face, but the feelings that fill the room are a completely different matter, there is resignation mixed with some happiness and clouded with a little disappointment and John doesn’t know what to make out of his son´s feelings- That still begs the question of what I am supposed to tell Sam- Dean adds reluctantly

-I mean, if your brother is anything like I am sensing from him, he is probably going to try to find a way to cure you, we could probably say one of those worked- she shrugs not really understanding the big deal for the sound of it

-I am not comfortable lying to my brother about me being on Death´s door for days, Fay- Dean replies a little annoyed at the thought

-You wouldn’t be lying, per se- Faith responds with a grimace- I kind of have to heal these the “traditional” way.

-Which means?

-You will have to drink a potion to heal some of the damage- she replies- Normally I would simply give it to you and be done with the whole thing, but I may or may not have used the last of it a few days ago and I haven’t restock yet, and this particular potion takes 4 days to make, maybe 3 if I speed some steps.

-That is cutting it awfully close- Dean states, before sighing- Lets do it then

-Lets- the girl replies and with that the scene cuts once more

5 days, Sam realizes, that was all the time his brother would have had without intervention. 5 days, and he wasn’t even in the hospital with him. And yes, he was searching for a way to heal Dean, but couldn’t he have looked for it in the hospital? Shivers travel through his body as he realizes that Dean could have died alone in a hospital room, while he was focused on his mission, and isn’t that an irony?

John hyperventilates at learning how close his son was of dying, while he was busy following endless leads. His son could have had died and he wouldn’t have been the wiser until a few days later and isn’t it funny how history repeats itself? Dean could have died a million times before as well, and his own damn father was never there for him, because he couldn’t be bothered to be thankful for what he had, until it was gone.

The screen lights up showing Dean discharging himself off the hospital, with a nurse helping him to order a cab so he could get to his brother. His family can feel how much of an effort Dean is making just by walking a few steps and they are horrified to realize how badly Dean´s condition really was. Dean manages to get to the motel room, with “Sam” quickly greeting him at the door

-What the hell are you doing here?- “Sam” asks horrified to see Dean´s pale form at the door

-I checked myself out- Dean says with a raspy voice

-Are you crazy?- “Sam” questions- You know, this whole “I laugh in the face of death” thing, I can see right through

-You look worse than me- Dean says worried, and that, along with the heartache that Dean is feeling, makes Sam feel even worse, how can his brother still be worried about him, when he is the one that is dying?

-I have been scouring the internet for the last three days. Calling every contact at dad´s journal. Trying to find a way to help you. This guy, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist- “Sam” says excited

-You are not going to let me die in peace, are you?- Dean deadpans disappointed

-I am not going to let you die, period. We are going- “Sam” states, not giving any chance for Dean to object

The scene speeds up as the brothers arrive to a faith´s healer´s tent, with Dean giving a pissed off vibe as they climb out of the Impala, clearly feeling annoyed at his brother for taking him there, which he doesn’t waste a moment to chide “Sam” about, with “Sam” trying to explain that the guy was the real deal and not just some scammer. As they walk towards the tent, they encounter some members who sing praises to the reverend, as well as man complaining about the guy being a scammer, with Dean siding with him. “Sam” continues trying to convince his brother as they both loudly discuss, only to being interrupted by Layla, one of the members of the congregation

-So why are you here if you don’t believe?- she questions politely

-Apparently my brother here has faith for the both of us- Dean claims only with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but finally agreeing to enter the tent

Inside the tent, “Sam” directs his brother towards the front, with Dean complaining the whole way and the Winchesters can feel Dean´s discomfort just being at the place. It doesn’t take long for the reverend to start his speech, about the corruption of the word and his “healing gift”, before Dean whispers more loudly than he thought

-Into the people wallets

-You think so, young man?- the reverend Roy asks

-Sorry- Dean apologizes, ashamed at having being caught

-No, no, don’t be- the guy says- What is your name, son?

-Dean- he answers

-I want you to come here with me- Roy says, as the people around him start clapping

-Maybe you should just pick someone else- Dean claims, uncomfortably, with guilt adding to the mix and it is only then that Sam and John realized that Dean feels guilty of taking someone else´s chance at being healed if the reverend turns out to be telling the truth

-I didn’t choose you, Dean- Lerange says- The Lord did- he claims, with Dean finally being pushed into the stage- You ready?- the pastor asks

-No disrespect, but I am not exactly a believer- Dean states

-You will be son- Roy tells him, before starting a prayer, putting his hands on Dean, and the discomfort is suddenly turn to a million, mixed with confusion and dizziness as Dean falls to the floor. “Sam” rushes at his aid, only for Dean to regain awareness, but something is still wrong and the Winchesters can see a spirit of an old man as clearly as Dean does, before the scene cuts to black

The memory continues, now showing the brothers at a doctor´s office, with “Sam” is so excited by Dean´s renew health that he doesn’t realized the vacant look in Dean´s eyes, the Sam in the room doesn’t have the same problem, and he curses himself for ignoring his brother. The doctor tells them there is nothing wrong with him, not that it should be, however she does tell them that it is never bad to check as a 27-year old and apparently healthy man died the day before of a hearth attack, before she leaves

-That is odd- Dean states with a hollow voice

-People´s heart give out all the time- “Sam” answers back, and the Sam watching cant believe his youngest self was that stupid to begin with- Do we really have to look up this? Cant we just accept something good happened?

-Because I cant shake this feeling- Dean claims with an even tone, but just by mentioning his family can feel the shift in the air compared to the last scene as they recognize the wrongness in the room- When he healed me, I felt cold and for a second I saw some old man, I am telling you, it was a spirit

-If it was there I would have seen it too- Sam rebounds 

-You will have to have some faith in this one- Dean tells him- Sam, I have been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this.

-Yeah, alright- “Sam” says, rolling his eyes- What do you want to do then?

-Check out the heart-attack guy. I am gonna visit the Reverend- Dean exclaims before he exits the room 

Dean doesn’t go too far, only getting as far as the outskirts of the clinic, before he takes out his phone and dials a number, desperately tapping his finger against the object waiting for the line to connect, the darkness in the air remain and Sam can almost swear it whispers Wrongwrongwrong

-Please pick up, pick up- Dean mutters as the call finally connects on the other side

-What?- Faith answers clearly irritated

-Faith…- Dean starts saying before getting interrupted

-Oh, its you, I was just about to call you- the Fae answers happily doing a completely 180 on her tone- I managed to pull an all-nighter and finished the potion

-Fay…

-Sorry for snapping at you, my phone has been ringing like crazy

-Fay…

-Phone books are a b….

-FAITH!- Dean finally yells exhausted

-Sorry- she apologizes- Is everything okay?

-Sam found a way to heal me- Dean tells her with a hollow laugh

-Alright?- the girl says clearly confused- I mean, we can use that excuse I guess, I don’t…

-No, you don’t understand- Dean interrupts anxiously- I mean, Sam literally found a way to heal me

-How?- the girl asks clearly still confused

-He took me to a faith healer- Dean confesses

-Faith healers?- Faith explodes angrily- More like scammers the whole bunch of them. Never met one that did any healing- she says before calming down- Dean, I don’t know what you think that happened, but I can assure you there is no way that…

-Fay, you are not listening to me- Dean says finally collapsing to his knees with desperation- I just got out of the doctor´s office, I am completely healed- the hunter says brokenly- And I feel completely wrong- Dean confesses before bursting into tears

-Don’t move- Faith orders- I am coming

It takes a few minutes before the Fae finally arrives and the Winchesters watching can notice how the girl flinches for a minute before she hugs Dean tightly, sitting herself besides him, as he keeps crying

-What is wrong with me?- Dean asks bitterly after he calms down slightly

-You are- the girl states after a few seconds of silence, Dean goes to interrupt, but Faith stops him, before adding- Whatever it was that heal you, I can assure you it wasn’t good- she claims

-I feel like Death warmed all over me- Dean tells her

-What happened?- Faith asks- Did you sign anything? Did you kissed someone?- and Sam might be confused but John feels cold knowing why the girl is asking

-What? No- Dean answers

-Good, at least it is not demonic in nature, probably- she claims- So I ask again what happened?

-I don’t know, we went to one of those tents of prayers or whatever it is called and then the preacher called my name and Sam pushed me to the stage and he put his hand on my head and for a minute I felt like I was dying, almost could have sworn I saw something and then I collapsed, so Sam took me to the hospital and they give me a clean bill of health- Dean laugh with no humor

-What did you saw?- the girl asks with a haunted look in her eyes

-I don’t think I can describe it- Dean responds equally haunted- I guess I can only describe it as a man in a suit but the face was like a million years old and its eyes look at me in a cold manner

-Le petit mort. You saw death- she tells him and they both shiver slightly- It takes one hell of a dark spell to have that power

-What is going to happen to everyone he healed?- Dean asks worriedly and maybe just for once he is also worry about himself

-It depends on what is that he is doing but I can assure you, Death doesn’t like to be cheated and Destiny is even worse- Faith states

-What does that mean exactly?- Dean asks with dread

-That if you look closely into the first people he “saved” it is likely they are dead or wishing they were- she responds with a haunted tone

-Wouldn’t people notice?- Dean asks

-People tend to ignore those kind of things. They make them feel unsettled and unsafe

-So now what am I supposed to do?- Dean asks- Wait until the grim reaper claims me?

-No, now we find out exactly what that son of a bitch did and stop him and hopefully we save whoever is left- Faith tells Dean

-We?- Dean asks some color finally returning to his face

-Yes, we. I mean last time I left you alone you messed with dark magic- the girl jokes startling a small laugh out of Dean

John wants to tear his hair out just by the feeling of wrongness in the air, he cant even begin to imagine how his son was able to walk around with that weight on his shoulders, knowing something was wrong, then again, he shouldn’t be so surprised, after all, Dean has always had to bear the pressures his family put in him, with cero to no complains.

Sam feels sick just by watching the scene. Even when he tries to help, he ends up screwing everything up. The fact that it was Faith, a non-related fairy that Dean met only a couple of years back, the one that took the time to comfort his brother makes thing ten times worse. Because he never bothered to find what was bothering Dean, more than that he even told him to ignore what he was feeling, because Dean was healthy and who cared about the rest, right?  

Inside the memory, Dean arrives at the preacher´s house and is welcome by Roy and his wife Sue Ann, with both explaining Dean that what happened to him was a miracle. Dean asks more questions, so Roy explains that he woke up blind one day and the doctors diagnosed him with cancer, giving him only a month to live, he claims both of them pray a lot for a cure, only for him to fall into a coma and waking up heal of the cancer. He adds that soon after he found out that he was able to heal people and have being doing it ever since.

Dean exits the house and finds Layla in the stairs, and Sam is not surprised anymore to see his brother greeting Layla with no flirting, almost as if they were two old friends. The girl wonders about his health and tells him, she is accompanying her mom to talk to the reverend. Still in the porch, Dean overhears Layla´s mom begging Sue Ann for a cure for her daughter, with Sue Ann politely telling her they cant do anything about it, until the Lord allows it. As soon as Sue Ann, enter the house, the woman turns to Dean, frozen in the porch and says

-Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted- she reprimands, and the self-loathing in Dean increases with every second the woman speaks

-Mom, stop- Layla interjects, trying to calm her mom down

-No, Layla, this is too much. If Roy would stop choosing these strangers over you, strangers who don’t even believe, I just cant pray harder.

-Layla, what´s wrong?- Dean asks, concern pulling through the hurt at the words previously stated

-I have this thing- Layla says

-It’s a brain tumor, its inoperable- her mom interrupts- In six months, the doctors said…

-I am sorry- Dean exclaims with a somber tone, and he is not sure what he is apologizing for

-Its okay- she says.

-No, it isn’t- her mom exclaims and before she leaves, she adds- Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?- leaving Dean speechless, and John and Sam feel Dean´s already hurt heart, break once more

Dean walks fast to the Impala and drives even faster, until he is alone in desolated path. Only then, he allows stray tears to fall, before pulling his pocket knife and making some straight shallow cuts in his wrist, to the horrified watching of his family. They are so caught in the moment, that like Dean, they missed the moment Faith appears on the screen, slowly prying the knife away from the hunter, putting a comforting hand over his, closing the wounds and stopping the blood flow

-I know you think you took something from her, but you must remember that whatever is healing people puts them at a higher risk than what they already are- she tells him, sitting inside the car, but not looking directly at Dean

-That girl is going to die- Dean screams- She is going to die and Roy could have helped her but he didn’t, no, he chose to saved me instead, and now I have to live with this and…

-So you would have preferred for her to suffer what you are suffering?- Faith asks, turning her gaze to Dean- Would you give her your fate, so you could avoid it?

-No, no I wouldn’t- Dean answers, and they both pretend they don’t hear how Dean´s voice break with that statement- But why did it had to be me? Why is it always me?

-I cant answer that- Faith responds- But I know that whatever you are thinking is wrong, you do deserve to be saved- she states

-She is going to die- Dean repeats, avoiding the words of his friend

-Death is part of living and it doesn’t discriminate between anyone- she answers patiently- Her mother, who claims to have faith, has to accept it as well

-Sometimes- Dean laughs humorless- I forget you are not human, and sometimes I am forcefully reminded about the fact

-I have lived for a long time, Dean- she answers, still with a calm tone- Sometimes I forget as well that you cant see things from my perspective. It is harsh I know, but we cant save everyone- she finishes with a sigh

-It is not fair- Dean says

-Life´s hardly is- the girl responds, and a silence fills the Impala only to be interrupted by Dean

-How did you find me so fast?- he asks- Where you following me?

-No…Okay, maybe- she answers- I was investigating some leads

-Anything you found and you feel like sharing?- Dean asks, after Faith remains quiet for a few minutes

-Nothing you want to hear- she responds but at Dean´s insisting glance, she sighs- I didn’t find anything about what might be causing this, no demonic interference, no powerful witch has moved nearby that I can find, and no random deity performing tricks, so there is that. But I did find the first “cured” victims of Roy- at this statement, she grimaces before adding- They are mostly dead, and the few that are not are either in asylums for random hallucinations or in the hospital, ill with really random diseases, so there is that.

-Fuck- Dean exclaims- So I am screwed

-If we don’t find what is causing this, yeah, most likely- the Fae tells him

-You think Roy has something to do with it?- Dean asks, mind going miles per hour

-I think it is Roy´s adjacent, but I don’t think he is involved directly- she tells him

-So, now what?- Dean asks concerned

-Now, we keep digging- she tells him, exiting the car- And Dean, stay strong- the girl states before disappearing

Dean arrives at the motel´s room in a mood to find a subdued “Sam” researching in his computer, he apologizes to Dean, telling him that the guy who suffered the heart attack died at 4:17, the exact moment that Dean was healed. “Sam” expands his findings telling Dean, he found that every time the reverend had healed someone, there was a death reported in previously healthy individuals, with the cause of death being the same thing he was healing, basically trading a life for another

-Wait, wait, wait. So Marshall Hall died to save me?- Dean asks, and all the progress he made in his short conversation with Faith, quickly evaporated

-Dean, the guy probably would have died anyway and someone else would have been healed- “Sam” says, and Sam and John want to throttle young Sam, knowing that it would do nothing to avoid Dean from spiraling

-You never should have brought me here- Dean snaps, anger barely conceal in his tone

-Dean, I was just trying to save your life- “Sam” tries to justified

-Sam, some guy is dead because of me- Dean angrily says, just as clear as if he was screaming

-I didn’t know- “Sam” claims, and Sam will never not be amaze at how quickly his brother calms down for him- I don’t understand- How´s he trading a life for a life?

-Roy is not doing it- Dean says- Something else is doing it for him. The old man I saw on stage. I didn’t want to believe it, but deep down, I knew it.

-What are you talking about?- “Sam” asks confused

-Only one thing can give and take life like that. We are dealing with a reaper- Dean explains, before the scene cuts once more

John feels dizzy just by watching the screen. He cant process everything that is happening in the screen since the moment Dean was healed. He wants to be angry with Sam, how could he be so stupid as to not figure out that something was off about that old reverend? But at the same time, he couldn’t fault his son, when he, himself, would have done the same thing had the roles being reverse, wouldn’t he? He sure wants to believe that his son´s life would have been more important than the mission.

Sam feels the guilt wash over him, once more. Just by watching the scene, he remembers what he felt at investigating that case, knowing without a doubt that he had saved Dean by condemning someone else, back then he justified his actions, thinking that either Dean or someone else would have died, and it was better that Dean was the one who was saved. But now, watching it with fresh eyes, the guilt overwhelms him, that guy was someone´s loved one, he didn’t deserve to die any more than Dean´s and that knowledge tastes bitter in his mouth.

On the screen, the brothers keep investigating the reaper lead, with Dean wondering how Roy could possibly be controlling the reaper, “Sam” points out that he noticed a cross in the tent that looked a lot like the cross used in tarot cards, and Dean theorizes that he could possibly be using black magic to bind the reaper. The hunters then discuss possible ways to stop the reverend from continuing on killing people, with “Sam” advocating to not kill Roy; after much deliberation, the brothers decide to try and undo the reaper´s binding to stop the man.

That afternoon, “Sam” and Dean attend once more to the reverend service to try and find the anchor point of the dark spell, with Dean choosing to try and distract the man while “Sam” breaks into his house. Things quickly turn sour, when “Sam” calls Dean to tell him he found how Roy was choosing people he saw as inmoral to exchange life forces with his followers, with the man protesting outside being the next on the list, the younger hunter tells his brother he will find the man but that he must stop the service from continuing which is of course when Dean´s heart break at hearing Layla´s name being called. Dean tries to stop the girl, but he is unsuccessful. The feelings of guilt and self-doubt fill the hunter at knowing what he must do, and for a minute it is unclear if Dean is going to stop the man, but duty wins at the end and Dean manages to stop the service, finding out that it is not Roy who is controlling the reaper, it is his wife, Sue Ann.

Before leaving, Dean tries to explain himself to Layla, but the words seem to fail him, and his family can feel once more how the self-loathing starts to increase in Dean

The boys return to the motel, with “Sam” telling his findings to Dean. He explains that he found an ancient book inside the reverend´s house, which details a dark spell to bind a reaper to do the will of the person casting it. Dean theorizes that the cross Sue Ann has is the thing that is anchoring the spell, while “Sam” believes that they must destroy the altar, at the end, they both agree that it is better to do both just to be safe.

They go to the site once more to stop the proceedings, but Dean hesitates before exiting the car, and this, Sam realizes, might be one of the only times his brother poured his emotions to him, as Dean expresses his guilt over stopping Layla´s healing, after all if it weren’t for him, the girl would be already healed, “Sam” tries to comfort his brother and the Sam watching cringes slightly at his younger self attempt even if it proves successful.

They peaked inside the tent but they cant see Sue Ann, so Dean decides to play bait with the officers guarding the tent, so that his brother can look for her inside the house. Dean runs and manages to avoid the cops, only to be confronted by the reaper, which Sue Ann sets on him as a “punishment”. The Winchesters´ watching feel the air being sucked out of their lungs as the reaper puts a bony hand on Dean and Sam cant believe how close his brother was of actually perishing, somehow when recounting the events that happened, Dean never mentioned any of this.

Suddenly, as quick as the reaper grab him, he lets go, leaving Dean taking big gulps of air in the floor, as the creature disappears, proving that “Sam” plan must have worked

The scene cuts to next morning, with the brothers once more in the motel discussing the events that occurred the night before. Sadness and guilt still mixing in the air, before someone knocks on the door, that someone turns out to be Layla, who comes to talk with Dean.

-Hey, how did you know we were here?- Dean asks

-Sam called- Layla says- He said you wanted to say goodbye- and at this “Sam” excuses himself to leave the two talking- You know I went back to see Roy

-What happened?- Dean asks feigning ignorance

-Nothing- she responds- I mean, he laid hands on my forehead but nothing happened.

-I am sorry- Dean apologizes with raw honesty- I am sorry it didn’t work

-And Sue Ann? Did you hear? She died, they said it was a stroke

-Yeah, I heard. You know, Roy is a good man. He doesn’t deserve what happened. It must be rough to believe in something so much and have it disappoint you like that- Dean exclaims and John thinks they are no longer talking just about the preacher

-You wanna heard something weird?- Layla asks, continuing after Dean´s nod- I am okay, really. I guess, if you are going to have faith, you cant just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it even if they don’t

-So what now?- Dean asks

-Who knows? God works in mysterious ways- the girl states- Goodbye, Dean

-Hey- Dean stops the girl before she leaves- You know, I am not much of the praying type, but I am gonna pray for you

-Well, there is a miracle right there- Layla exclaims before she walks away.    

John and Sam think the memory is finally over, but the scene continues. At first glance, it seems to only show Layla but then they see a peak of Dean hiding somewhere in the outskirts of the picture, (and Sam suddenly remembers that his brother advocated for staying a couple of days more after Layla´s visit) before an old woman appears. It takes John and Sam close to a minute to realize the woman is Faith under disguise.

-Madam, are you okay?- Layla asks worriedly as the woman approaches

-Yes, darling- the Fae answers the girl- Do you mind if I sit for a second?

-No, no, of course not, please, I insist- she responds

-It appears that I am terribly lost- Fay laments- I was just trying to take a shortcut to town. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where town is?

-Yes, of course, you will have to walk another two miles ahead in that direction and then turn left, you shall get into town really quick

-Thank you so much, dear, you are too kind- she thanks her, before adding- It is just that I am so tired

-Where are my manners?- the girl says- Would you like something to drink or eat?

-Oh no, dearie, I wouldn’t want to impose

-Please, I am offering

-Well, if it is not much of a bother perhaps a glass of milk with a few drops of honey if you have some

-Milk and honey?- the girl asks puzzled

-It is the way that I used to drink it in my youth- the Fae responds as the girl enters her house, before emerging with the glass full -Thank you so much, it is quite refreshing to meet someone as kind as you in these times- she says after drinking it

-It cost nothing to be kind- Layla responds with a smile

-Yes- Faith responds standing up, almost as if she was leaving, but as she returns the now empty glass, she takes Layla´s hand softly and says- You will be okay

-I am sorry?- the girl says taken aback

-You will be okay, sweetie- Faith repeats- Tomorrow you shall go to the doctors like you were planning and they will find out that your tumor has decreased size, so that is now small enough to operate. They will remove it and you shall recover.

-I don’t… Who are you?- Layla asks stunned

-Lets just say your kindness save you- and for a minute her eyes shine and whatever Layla sees make her believe the Fae

-Thank you- Layla tells her sincerely as she goes quickly inside her house to confirm her appointment

-Well, let´s do this again… never- Faith tells Dean as he approaches her, quickly converting into her normal self

-Will she truly be okay?- Dean asks concerned

-As I tell her, she should make a recovery, mind you, she will never be the person she was before getting sick but I don’t think she will be bothered by it- Faith says

-And about the whole reaper stuff?

-I talked to Igor and we came to an understanding- she responds- Call it a favor to us for releasing him.

-Igor? You are kidding me, right? Igor the reaper?- Dean asks smirking

-Shut up- she laughs along with Dean as the memory stops.

Sam fells conflicted as he watches the scene playing in front of him. There is something about this case that bother something deep inside him, and he can accept if maybe only to himself that he knows perfectly what it is. This case pulled at a part of him that resembles a lot to his father. In trying to save Dean, he did the kind of stunt his father is known, he is starting to resemble his father, and that is one mirror he never thought he would see himself in

John, for his part, is horrified at his neglect. He could have lost Dean a lot of times in the duration of this case, and he probably wouldn’t have been the wiser. In trying to go through his mission, he lost sight of what was important, and there is nothing he cant say to change that.

AO3

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