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#the joys of taking 2 of your biggest obsessions and smashing them together and making it everyone else's problem
numbuh424 · 3 months
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I don't know if anyone else will appreciate this but if there are any other Death Note fans out there who also enjoy the TV show Taskmaster I am making a DN on Taskmaster AU so self-indulgent and I am pleading that you make yourselves known to me cause I can't be alone in this
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floralreddie · 7 years
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Prompt au: reddie meets through richie trying to send bill a stupid meme on tumblr but accidentally sends it to eddie
Here you go, dude! And I totally might do a part 2 to this bc I loved writing it
Richie knows he’s fucking hilarious.
Like, he knows he’s hilarious.
Bill, Bev and Stan don’t see it that way, of course, but they’re fucking idiots because Richie knows he’s a God damn riot. He knows he’s sixteen and, yes, perhaps his humour is just a tad childish sometimes, but he’s got something that’s going to make Bill fucking die.
Because Richie has a new obsession.
And it’s memes.
(And Stan can literally fuck himself, because that fucking Kermit meme he sent him yesterday was hilarious. What does Stan know, anyway? His fucking username on Tumblr is Stan-The-Man and he runs a fucking nature blog, the dork).
(Richie’s is Trashmouth-Tozier69, because what the fuck else would it be?)
So, that evening he’s sitting at his computer and munching away on a tube of Pringles when he comes across a particularly funny meme that has him coughing up his food and kicking his legs onto his table as he drags his keyboard onto his lap.
Bill’s gonna fucking love this one, he thinks.
He clicks off his blog (it’s filled with bands like Led Zepplin and AC/DC and memes, and his Header is a picture of him and Bev at a Pride that was held twenty miles from Derry, because Bev and Richie like to refer to themselves as the Bi Brigade) and clicks on the jokes as fuck meme and presses the @ button to tag Bill in it.
That’s not before he sees that Bev (redhair-don’tcare) has posted a particularly pretty picture of that Mike dude (Richie has never spoken to him, but Bev thinks he’s cool as shit since they were partnered up in Chem a few weeks ago) who hangs around with chubby kid and the little pretty kid. He’s sitting on that graffiti covered brick wall near the Aladdin, and the sun is setting behind him and it’s a pretty lit picture, to be fair.
Richie throws it a like. He’s nice like that.
He types in Bill’s username (D-D-Denbrough), which is an all-together witty name because Bill has a fucking stutter and the dude has just stopped giving a shit and started owning it, of which Richie is just all about.
Then he taps reblog and cackles as loud as he wants, because his mom is passed out downstairs and his dad is probably off banging that woman Sharon that he works with, who Richie has seen him driving around town with more than once.
He glances at his smashed-up iPhone and pushes up his glasses, just waiting for the moment that Bill messages him, because that shit was funny and even Bill can’t deny that.
A minute passes.
The another.
And now Richie is kinda pissed because that meme was fucking funny, and he doesn’t give a fuck if memes are cringe as shit nowadays.
Then suddenly, both his iPhone and computer are making that annoying beeping sound that nearly gives him a heart attack, and he peers at his battered monitor and frowns through his thick lens glasses when he sees he has a message on Tumblr.
Why the fuck would Bill message him through there when he could just fucking text him? The only people who messaged him on there were people who complimented the guitar shit he posted when he could be bothered to record himself.
He blinks in surprise, though, when he sees that the message isn’t from Bill.It’s from someone with an icon depicting them sitting against a very pink sunset in a pastel pink jumper, their dark hair half blowing in the wind and their face hidden.
Their username, Richie finds, is doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s.
And he thinks he recognises this blog, because it pops up on his dash sometimes an it’s mostly reblogs of 80’s pop music that, whilst Richie prefers rock and punk, he can’t help but not-so-guiltily enjoy. He clicks on the message, dark eyebrows shooting up when he reads what the person has said.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: why the fuck did you just tag me one of those weird mr. krabz memes about asking your crush out and them saying yes?
Richie squints, realises what the fuck he’s done, and lets out a bark of laughter. He must have just clicked on the first thing that came up after he typed in D. Damn, and Bill would have found that shit funny…or gotten super pissed off that Richie was once again taking the piss out him and Stan basically being a fucking couple since Bill stuttered out a confession of his feelings to the curly headed boy.
He’s about to type out a short apology when his computer and phone beep again, drowning out the low sound of his Spotify playing Like A Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Wait, what the fuck? You’re Richie Tozier.
Richie blinks and kicks his socked feet onto the floor and bangs out a reply in a few seconds flat.
Trashmouth-Tozier69: do i no you dude?
He waits only a few seconds.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You don’t really seem to pay attention to anything but making a dick out of yourself at school or annoying your friends, so probably not.
Richie laughs in surprise. So, it was someone he went to school with? Not uncommon, really, for those who had public blogs. Richie knew Bill would never admit it, but he was 100% sure the idiot had a fucking Lord of the Rings blog hidden away somewhere.
He hastily clicks on the blog and sees no sign of a name written in the bio, along with a pale pink background and a few dozen links to various music pages and a Spotify account. It’s a pretty blog, Richie has to admit, and the content is cute and funky and it’s definitely ran by a gay dude.
Trashmouth-Tozier69: ah. so u do no me
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: I shouldn’t have said anything. You’ve got the biggest mouth ever and only my friends know I have a fucking blog dedicated to 80’s music. I take it that dumb meme wasn’t supposed to go to me?
Trashmouth-Tozier69: nope. but now i wanna keep talkin. u in my grade?
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Would it literally fucking kill you to type properly?
Trashmouth-Tozier96: ye
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’re hilarious. Truly.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: u don’t need to tell me that
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Since when do you follow me? What the hell are the chances of that?
Richie goes about exploring the blog some more. Maybe he can pinpoint who the hell this kid is. The guys list of people he follows is small, and within a few minutes of scrolling through he finds a blog he recognises. It was the one Bev had tagged in that picture of Mike. smoothcriminal. After only one click, he finds that it is, indeed, Mike.
Hm.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: idk dude. i was probably high listening to weather girls or some shit and found ur blog. plus my friend bev likes that shit too
The dudes reply has Richie snorting into his closed fist.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: …You like the Weather Girls?
Trashmouth-Tozier96: i like a lot of stuff.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: hey do u no mike hanlon?
The pause is longer this time.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Are you stalking my fucking blog to find out who I am? Not cool, dickweed.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: dickweed? nice
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’d know about weedy dicks.
Richie gapes and giggles. He fucking giggles, because this guy is hilarious.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur insults are getting better. i gotta no who u are amigo.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: u no mike
Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur obviously gay or bi or some shit judging from ur blog and the fact u r totally a dude
Trashmouth-Tozier96: shit was that shitty to say
Trashmouth-Tozier96: i totally did not mean to like gender u or whatever
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: No. Whilst I’m not exactly out to the whole school, most people pretty much assume I’m gay (a gay guy, thanks) from looking at me. Which is, yeah, pretty shitty of them.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Now you’re going to fucking know who I am.
And then Richie blinks and grins a smile that stretches his whole face, because he fucking knows who this kid is. He knows the dark hair from the dude’s icon, and the pastel jumper he was wearing. Hell, the kid who he was talking to had been one Richie’s very short list of the guys he would actually hit in Derry.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: holy shit
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Here we go.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur eddie kaspbrak
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: There we go.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: i always knew u were cute but wtf since when were u this funny dude
Richie leans back in his chair and smirks, because it’s a full two minutes before Eddie even replies. Suddenly, Richie is so aware of who he is talking to that his stomach twists and his eyes brighten. Eddie Kaspbrak. He had spoken to him only a handful of times. He hung around with Ben and Mike, but Bill insisted that the kid was okay and that they used to hang out a little when they were super young. It was well known in Derry that his mom was a fucking weirdo after his dad died.
Richie had only paid attention to the fact that Eddie was pretty as fuck and always wore oversized jumpers and shorts that showed off his legs, but other than that he was quiet as fuck.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’re a dick.
Richie grins.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: for sayin ur cute? thats me being nice!
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: I know what you’re like, Tozier. And don’t go spreading that I run a fucking blog that has shit like the Weather Girls and Madonna on it, because Bowers already takes great joy in pointing out what a fucking girly-boy I am.
Richie narrows his gaze at that. Fucking Bowers.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: nothin wrong with being pretty as shit, eds. and fuck bowers. hey, u wanna come and sit with me and my friends tomorrow? we’re all pretty fuckin gay so u will fit right in, amigo
Trashmouth-Tozier96: mike and bev are pretty buddy lately so it won’t be awkward
He blinks in surprise at his own words. Why the fuck is he so desperate to have the quiet Eddie Kaspbrak sit with him, Stan, Bill and Bev? Maybe, he wonders, it was because he was starting to realise he’d judged the kid a little too quickly, because with the way Eddie was firing back comments, Richie half thinks he might have found his witty ol’ match.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You serious?
Trashmouth-Tozier96: yh. why the fuck wouldn’t i be?
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Oh, my God. Literally why do you have to type like that? I know for a fact that you’re actually pretty fucking smart, Tozier.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: And don’t call me Ed’s.
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: And yeah, okay. I’ll sit with you guys. Ben and Mike, too.
Trashmouth-Tozier96: sick dude. now can you level with me for a second
Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: What?
Trashmouth-Tozier96: did u honestly not find that meme funny at all
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Review Game Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
Smash Bros. has always been a showcase for Nintendo’s other work. Since introducing the 12 core stars of the N64 original - each representing Nintendo’s biggest franchises and most beloved cult hits - the series has consistently ballooned to include characters old, new, forgotten and tangential. Items, Assist Trophies, stages and soundtracks have become part of the firmament, with almost every one a reference to something someone out there will remember; an unnatural history museum, if you will.
But Super Smash Bros. Ultimate feels different. Suddenly this feels more like a museum built to celebrate Smash Bros. itself.That’s most obvious in its key hook - the game comprises every character the series has ever included in its playable roster, plus a couple more for good measure. That’s 65 all told, not including the newly-coined “Echo” characters like Dark Pit, Lucina and new addition Daisy, each too complex to be a palette swap, but too similar to be counted as a whole new roster pick.
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It’s an almost absurd number of characters for a fighting game - Nintendo Treehouse’s Nate Bihldorff jokingly says balancing that many characters is exactly the kind of task that puts him off becoming a developer - but it’s necessary to get the point across. For the first time, Smash Bros. isn’t trying to impress by including the characters you know from other Nintendo games - it’s impressing by including characters you know from Smash Bros.
By this point, I’d wager most people know the Ice Climbers better as Smash characters than NES platforming heroes - the fact they’re back feels strangely special. The series’ fixation on Link comes to a head by including three entirely separate versions of the character in a single game for the first time - Toon Link, Ocarina’s Young Link, and regular ol’ Link (available in Green Tunic and Champion Tunic guise). Somehow, series mastermind Masahiro Sakurai even convinced Konami to let him re-include Solid Snake, complete with a performance from original voice actor David Hayter (although Nintendo won’t tell us if it comes from existing recordings or a new session).
Hell, even one of Ultimate’s brand new roster picks, Metroid’s Ridley, is a Smash Bros. in-joke - fans have been clamouring for him to be playable for over a decade by this point. It was all worth it for the hilariously strange sight of him clapping for the victor with his horrible pterosaur hands when he loses a match.
Amazingly, after going hands-on with the game I can say that nostalgia for the series itself actually benefits the gameplay. I laughed out loud when I realised that I remembered how to play Ice Climbers because my Melee muscle memory had kicked in. That’s not to say these are just uprezzed models from the old games - I equally know I’m going to have to relearn my beloved Little Mac, who feels a little less clumsy, but loses the sheer, brutal efficacy of the Giga-Mac transformation Final Smash I had access to in Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS. Like returning to a childhood home years later, everything feels the same, but different.
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Ultimate doesn’t quite repeat its roster trick with the rest of Smash Bros.’ key components. The game definitely won’t include every previous stage, and it’s still not clear - even to Nintendo Treehouse - if every past item and Assist Trophy will make it in. That’s not to say there isn’t a pleasure to getting to play overhauled versions of previously 3DS-only stages like Tortimer Island, and there will absolutely be returning arenas from the older entries, rejigged with modern looks and in-play tweaks. Again, it’s about making the series’ hallmarks feel new again.
It’s not all backward-looking, however. There are brand new treats in store for Nintendo obsessives. Sakurai and co. have continued their amazingly nerdy work by reflecting the old and the new of the Kyoto gaming institution.
Take Sukapon, the Rayman-like robot from Japan-only Famicom fighter, Joy Mecha Fight. Before now, its only appearance in a modern Nintendo game was in, well, Super Smash Bros. Brawl (as a humble sticker). Now, it’s an Assist Trophy, using its floating limbs to pummel fighters across multiple levels of a single stage.
On the more modern side, Inklings are studiously implemented to feel familiar to players of Splatoon, even while in a completely different genre of game. Coating other players or the stage itself in ink offers an advantage, and their range of borrowed weaponry makes them feel versatile at range or up close. It’s not a slavish implementation, though - you don’t have to have painted the floor to drop down and refill your ink in squid form, for instance.
That careful implementation comes straight from the top of development: “It's because Mr. Sakurai loves video games,” says Bihldorff. “Obviously, he's a great appreciator of Nintendo and our franchises, but he just loves video games in general. I guarantee you [the new Bomberman Assist Trophy] is treated the same way as any normal fighter in terms of accuracy, making sure all his moves are true, and all his design is the way it's supposed to be. He really values that.”
That extends to the game’s stages too, and I played two new additions in the form of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’s Great Plateau Tower and the Splatoon-inspired Moray Towers. The former is pretty simple, a Battlefield-like condensed bottom level with an upper platform revealed by dealing damage to the tower’s spire itself. I did find myself a little distracted (in the best way) by the game’s Old Man character repeatedly landing on and jumping off the tower with his own glider.
Moray Towers is more interesting, reflecting a portion of the brilliant Splatoon 2 map with a series of switchback ramps, potentially splitting players across multiple levels but always enticing them into ridiculously tight brawls on a single section of the map. In a gorgeous little touch, the whole stage is splattered with paint just before you begin - more proof of Sakurai’s own Nintendo fandom.
Since Melee, it’s been clear that the backward-looking “museum” element is only a part of Sakurai’s ambition, however. The Nintendo Direct made a few high-level tweaks very clear - perfect shields, a formalised ‘short hop’ ability (achieved by just pressing jump and attack together) and the return of directional air dodges - but, on a wider scale, Ultimate is undoubtedly aiming to be a more robust competitive experience.
“There is a very, very strong and healthy competitive scene,” says Nintendo’s Bill Trinen. “[The developers are] definitely looking at the way that those [professional] players play and, just like the way they look at the way casual players play, they take an amalgam of information and blend that together to make the uniqueness that is Smash Bros.”
Even after 20 minutes with the game, it’s obviously a faster, more technical game than before. Characters buzz around stages, both moving and reacting faster, and a four-player match becomes a hive of activity - it will take some getting used to for less skilled players (and, to be totally clear, I mean me here). In a neat touch, 1v1 matches will now see fighters do more damage to each other, to keep up a more frantic pace of K.O.s, even across larger stages. Nintendo won’t say it outwardly, but it feels extremely clear that the dominance of Melee on the competitive scene is something it wants to end after December.
Incidentally, Nintendo also won’t say a word about a single player mode right now - we only got to play a cut-down version of local multiplayer (and, guess what, Nintendo won’t talk about online yet, besides saying it’ll be included).
What they will tell us, repeatedly, is that Ultimate is a brand new game, created specifically for Switch, but there’s no denying its similarity to the series’ last incarnation. From menus to visuals, this is an iteration on the Wii U version in particular. It’s not a huge problem - as ever, Switch’s versatility adds value by itself - but those looking for something truly different won’t find it here.
But that’s probably not the point. Since Melee, Masahiro Sakurai has said that the next Smash Bros. game will probably be his last. Each entry has been the biggest, arguably the best and, probably, the most exhausting to make. Each one has felt like a rundown of Nintendo’s history, a successful advance on the series’ weirdo mix of fighting and pinball and, yes, a slap in the face for those who want a playable Waluigi. All of that remains true.
But ‘Ultimate’ is a subtitle that definitely suggests we’re reaching an endpoint - if that’s any indication, then the next Smash Bros. will be a museum not only to celebrate Nintendo, or Smash Bros., but Sakurai himself. It’s already beginning to feel like a fitting tribute.
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