#the irony is that every person I know who actual had/has a feederism thing HATES when I cook for them lmao

[redheadedfailgirl]

Heaven help us, my hyperfixation on cooking and baking and doing things that go in mouths n make people go mmmmmm is back. Anyone dating me is going to think I have a feederism kink but I swear making tasty food for beautiful women just makes my brain go zoom

[razzstrid]

Lil Peep: Everybody’s Everything

As those of you know my OCD w music runs deep and I go through intense periods obsessing over one artist at time. I am like years behind my fellow gen Z pals and so I am just now discovering Lil peep. And so for the past month I think I have gone through every piece of music lil peep has produced from start to finish. I am just as surprised as you are. That being said I was so psyched to watch this doc. I saw that it premiered at SXSW and Terrence Malik was an executive producer which is just *chefs kiss*. It got a fucking 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and averaged 73% on IMBd and Metacritic .. but Jesus Christ was that misleading. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Lil Peep — I think he is deeply talented and creative and the doc did a good job highlighting that .. but maybe a lil too much. I will actually start of by saying that a lot of things in this doc touched me — how they destigmatized those who take a less traditional path after high school; how they really emphasized the unwaveringly loving and supportive relationship between Lil Peep and his grandpa; lil peep’s genuine good-heartedness and commitment to his friends and family; his rigor and tenacity in transcending the capitalist hierarchy of the music industry with his DIY approach to music coming from a less privileged family... like I really really admire him. Im rambling but in all seriousness the doc was fucked up. Fucked up. His avid drug addiction was glorified to a stupidly obvious extent: he was always “going hard” and “pushing the limits” in efforts of always “out-drugging” his friends — like what, you want to give him a fucking award? His lousy manager, Bryant Ortega, spoke so fondly about Peep throughout the doc but was pictured multiple times as more of a paparazzi than a fucking manager — taking pictures of Lil peep and his squad railing numerous lines of coke while sipping on lean. At one point in the doc there was footage of Lil Peep performing a show in LA when he had taken too much of something. He tells his managers he might not be able to go on yet he does ... a fucking lawyer says on camera that he was “worried whether or not Lil Peep would be able to find the stage” yet they do nothing and encourage him to go on. There he is shown on the stage, barely mumbling the words to “Hellboy” and taking sporadic breaks to put him head in his elbow ... meanwhile instead of grabbing this kid off the stage and putting him in a fucking ambulance his management team is huddled in the the wings of the stage, egging him on and debating whether or not they should call in a fake fire alarm to cancel the show. This is happening as Lil Peep sings his songs of depression, anxiety, and loneliness — everyone hates me but nobody knows me; looking for a reason to live but I can’t find shit; everything hurts, everything gets worse. That’s some really dark irony and it doesn’t stop there... These fucking bottom feeders of a management team flood the stage with fog to hide Lil peep as he become increasingly despondent and dissociative ... it was so fucking hard to watch this. But alas, Peep snaps out of his drug-induced daze and finishes the show seamlessly... and afterwards goes up to a talent lawyer at the show and says “see I told you I could do it.” The next clip features the lawyer astounded by Lil Peep’s performance along with the constellation of talent agents and scouts who attended that show ... oh great, another lost, vulnerable artist who was never taught how to handle fame... I kept on waiting for a comment from someone, anyone proclaiming their worry for lil peep’s drug abuse and mental health but not a single one ever came. Multiple clips in the same vein followed the lawyers comment — different management team members commending Lil Peep for basically not dying. Haza, another successful show manipulating and capitalizing off a deeply depressed, troubled young artist. These people are fucking sick — acting like role models and fostering a “trustworthy” relationship with lil peep built on the basis of manipulation disguised as devotion — they didn’t care about Lil peep but they sure did fool him by providing the tools and substances notorious for self destruction while entirely ignoring his well-being and denying his paralyzing misery which were the main theme of his lyrics. ISNT YOUR JOB TO LISTEN TO HIS SONGS? OH AND MAYBE THE LYRICS? Get a fucking grip. I utterly believe these people knew what they were doing to lil peep and chose their deranged careers over someone’s life. I hope to fuckijg god these people don’t have children but I’m pretty sure some of them do. Six months later Lil Peep was announced dead after taking a lethal amount of fentanyl laced. Snapchat and instagram videos are shown in the doc of Lil Peep passed out, unconscious in the background — his head entirely arched back and his body limp. Over the span of what was said to be 4-5 hours,  not one person even thought to check on him. The interviews that follow these heartbreaking clips are just an amalgamation of lies, denial, ignorance, and palpable inauthenticity— his fake friends and scum of the earth management team either deny the “conspiracy” behind his death, lie through their teeth in their “oblivion” to peep’s drug problem and depression, or project falsified grief. Dude like all these idiots interviewed for the doc talk ab how Peep never expressed his grief or depression... COULD HAVE JUST ONE OF YOU FOUND YOUR DAMN VOICE ??? I mean you sure did to ask Peep for drugs and money you fucking leeches. If someone would have just expressed the tiniest hint of grief, the tiniest bit of remorse in not speaking up or expressing their concern maybe Lil Peep would still b here today and this god awful, tone deaf documentary wouldn’t exist. What’s even worse is that these people are still profiting off Lil Peep — through this doc, through all of the demos and songs that were released after his death. It’s so funny (really actually not funny at all in the slightest) that Peep’s manager Bryant Ortega rambles about how as a celebrity you can snap your fingers and get anything you want: “girls, blow, booze”... (Thank u Sam for stating how girls were put on the same level as cocaine and alcohol) .. anyways yeah that statement seems to be limited to self destructive substances and empty material items. How bout some therapy? Ever heard of in-patient or out-patient? Psychiatry? This doc Obviously really upset me. Watching Lil peep self-sabotage through his inability to say no, over-generosity with his time and money, and emotional labor in maintaining falsified companionships was so heartbreaking. Really seemed like such a genuinely sweet kid who deserved a longer, much more fruitful and a much better support system instead of a fleet of clout chasers. Agh this all just really didn’t sit well with me. Rip lil peep