#the inherent guilt of being catholic lmao i wasnt even raised to believe or prayer but i guess i still get to have the worst bits
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today's late night revelation is that the reason no one can ever tell that I'm falling apart is that I was punished by my abuser for crying and asking for help from ashe 6-7 🙃🙃🙃🙃
#how do you fix this?????#how was this allowed to happen to me????#how did nod nobody!!?? Notice!?!?!#god isn't real bc any would he have let this happen to a child what could i have done#the inherent guilt of being catholic lmao i wasnt even raised to believe or prayer but i guess i still get to have the worst bits#intergenerational catholic trauma????? it's a mystery#disappointing but not a surprise: i am#unlovable#idek how to meet people how would i ever find someone kind enough to love me lmao#i just sabotage anything good that could possibly happen to me so that#so that nothing bad ca n happen#i dont wanna get my hopes up over something that matters bc chances are i lose#I've had a headache for 2 hours but now im too upset to sleep#what's left of the someone i could have become isn't even a person anymore#i wanna choke till i die#choke me choke me choke me
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