#the idea of maturity being a slow transition n transformation i think allowed me to let those moments of maturity in more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rubberbandballqueen · 2 years

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just talked to my sister abt an issue i had w/smth she did just like i would w/anyone else n for some reason it felt so strange. like, being whiny and accusatory to your siblings when they do something you don't like is so normal. i did it for like twenty years, even after i stopped doing it to people outside the family.

it just feels so weird to just be like, "hey. i appreciate that you decluttered the bathroom n stuff, but i think you threw away my pen cleaning tools. can you tell me next time you declutter one of my spaces so that i can help instead?" like.

???

#i also noticed that i was clearer/more communicative with my parents when i got upset at them this year so it's like. baffling all around #n i don't think it's bad it just feels unnatural even tho this is like. what polite mature adults do #that one post was right. that maturity comes in patches and moments that get longer n more frequent as time goes on #instead of just a Thing you Are one day #i think hearing that when i was in high school was really good for me bc it meant that i no longer felt like #i was Expected to just Be Mature some day all of a sudden; that this was something i'd inevitably grow out of #bc ofc the teenager is defensive of their sense of self; it's their first time developing it wholesale!!!#the idea of maturity being a slow transition n transformation i think allowed me to let those moments of maturity in more #instead of shutting them out bc 'i don't wanna be grown up just yet'. kids can be mature; it doesn't mean they're grown #still the idea that i'm gonna be like. gentle n polite by default rather than smth conscious i have to choose to be on purpose to people #moving forward is like. mind-blowing. i'm becoming the person i want to be instead of the person everyone feared i'd become????#that wasn't just a pipe dream?????? suddenly i feel as mature as i imagine teenagers think me to be when they ask me for advice #the worm speaks

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