#the idea of ford wandering around in stans dreamscape expexting bill yo be just around the corner at every single moment.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Fic idea that I cannot get out of my mind: Ford traveling in the stan o war 2, adventuring with Stan, and trying to come to terms with the fact that Bill is gone. Until one day, Stan tells Ford that he had a dream with Bill in it. Ford is equal parts concerned and... he can't admit it to himself, but also hopeful.

He finds himself more and more obsessed with the idea of Bill somehow still being alive in the back of Stan's mind. He asks probing questions about Stan's dreams, over and over again. He asks Stan if he has any memories that don't feel like his own. He tells himself it's just out of an abundance of caution about a dangerous creature possibly being back from the dead. He tells himself he just wants to make sure Stanley is safe. But when he ventures inside Stan's dreamscape through that one spell and finds no traces of Bill, he can't help but venture into Stan's dreams again and again, until even Stan can tell that Ford's obsession with finding Bill Cipher doesn't make any sense anymore. He tries to tell Ford that he doesnt have to worry anymore, that if he still can't find him then he must be gone for good. And in response to this, Ford breaks down crying.

It just comes spilling out of Ford. Things like "he *can't* be gone, he just *can't* be," and "how could he be *gone?*" and "I *killed* him! How could I have killed him?!"

And at first Stan is incredibly taken aback. He's angry, even. "You *wanted* him back? All this goddamn time, you *wanted him back?* The guy who tried to kill us and destroy the universe??" and Ford has nothing to say to that. What *can* he say? Stanley's right, and Ford doesn't know if he can ever forgive himself for missing Bill.

But after the initial shock, Stan sees the look on Ford's face, and can't find it in him to be angry anymore. He's just confused. What's Ford not telling him, here? What piece of this puzzle is he missing?

The next day, after a very quiet and tense night, Stan is ready to listen. And Ford is ready to share. He asks Stan if he remembers all the artifacts they burned. He asks Stan if he remembers what Ford wrote about Bill on some of those journal pages. And then Stan's eyebrows shoot up, and it all clicks into place. He would mock Ford to hell and back in any other situation, but something about the harrowed look on Ford's face stops him. Bill didn't just trick him. He had him wrapped around his little finger in ways that Stan hadn't even considered.

So this time, when Stan reminds Ford that Bill's gone, he says it gently. And when Ford looks like his heart's been torn out of his chest when he replies "I know," Stan doesn't fault him for it.