#the huffliest puff ever to hufflepuff i know

[funkyfaerie]

look i know we’ve discussed every which way the sorting system is bullshit but also??? people’s values??? change??? as they get older???

give me a hufflepuff who was never taught to advocate for themselves as a kid, who was taught that their worth came from being selfless and sacrificial and making others happy, so they value loyalty and hard work and all of those amazing hufflepuff traits, but through this warped lens because they don’t have a solid foundation of self-esteem or any sense of boundaries. give me that kid getting sorted and being the huffliest puff there ever was, but who is literally driving themselves into the ground trying to help others and has quickly become the castle’s number one choice when someone needs a favor. and they think it’s good! they think they’re living up to their house and those expectations because they don’t have any other foundation for affection and love besides being praised for being useful. 

give me that kid barely scraping by and getting sick from staying up so late and having no legitimate friendships because the people they interact with just want favors all the time. give me that kid getting yanked into an empty classroom by a seventh year slytherin and her hufflepuff girlfriend (they’re in love shut up) and having a real uncomfortable conversation about where/how the kid gets validation and hey, are you happy? are you healthy? are you taking care of yourself? is anyone taking care of you?

and because the answer is obviously no, give me that kid suddenly having two seventh-year moms, one of which is a terrifying slytherin who will hex anyone who comes close asking for a favor, and whose pep talks basically boil down to aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you just wanna go ape shit?

give me six months of that kid realizing that their self worth isn’t tied to what they can provide to people and that they love their house but honestly? they have their own shit to deal with. they have goals and ambitions and dreams and nearly failing out of school because they’re trying to help everyone else is not the way to live life. i want that kid to wake up in the slytherin dorms one morning, completely bedecked in green and silver, and their slytherin mom being smug about it for fucking weeks because, i called it babe, you know i did

because people’s values change! getting older shifts your perspectives and what you value and there are so many ways that kids with shitty home lives or even just one with bad self-esteem could end up in one house and feel like a fraud when their morals and values adapt to growing up. because everyone changes as they grow up oh my god 

tl;dr @ jk rowling your binary sorting system sucks let kids change what they believe in and represent it in canon you coward 

[drarrystrugglefest]

Meet your mods!

The fest begins TOMORROW so we thought it was a good time to let you know who put this shindig together!

Appropriately, Drarry Strugglefest is brought to you by a band of weirdos who met on the Internet because they love gay wizards and none of whom have ever met IRL to the best of our knowledge, but who knows?

@milo-ren-solo (Slytherin) is daddy. That’s it, that’s all you need to know. He has an adorable child and has accidentally streamed porn to a neighbor’s TV. He also recently received a plastic bag full of soda via DoorDash.

@wynnyfryd (Slytherin) brought us all together, but she gives @serenefreakgeek all the credit. She is a musician and has a dog named for a fruit and no one knows her real name. We’re not even sure she does, tbh.

@plantboipotter (Gryffindor) is tiny and Welsh and finds American accents charming for some reason. They don’t sleep, ever. They somehow manage to keep up with discord chats while running and we’re really not sure how.

@serenefreakgeek (Hufflepuff) is the huffliest of puffs. They often apologize for saying extremely tame and inoffensive things. They should be given many hugs. They started our discord but give @wynnyfryd all the credit.

@mxmaneater (Ravenclaw) is possibly a younger version of @gallifrey1sburning. We’re honestly not sure. Their partner once wrote a Willy Wonka/house elf parody of one of their fics that I personally am terrified to read. They are The Organized One.

@gallifrey1sburning (Hufflepuff) is the old one and should probably be responsible but is mostly just high a lot. They like to eat jellybeans for dinner, and are possibly a time traveling @mxmaneater from the future. They were once a Ravenclaw but it turned out to be too much effort.

In conclusion, HOW is there no option for yellow text on tumblr mobile?! This app discriminates against Hufflepuffs.

fin.

[techmomma]

Only because Crayonmod is the favorite child, our PotterAU goes like this: setting is current era, just about twenty years after Voldy died. McGonagall is Headmistress of Hogwarts, Neville is the Herbology teacher (and probably Head of Gryffindor), Hermoine is gunning for Minister of Magic, Potter is Head Auror, Ron’s working with his bro-bro in his joke shop, Arthur is Chief Warlock of the Wizengamut, Draco’s fucked off with his collectibles.

But more importantly:

Tech: Former Auror, currently an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry of Magic, on loan from MACUSA. Most know him as the weird American who works in the Dept. of Mysteries, for some fucking reason. Smuggles Muggle fastfood in to bribe Ministry workers.

Teabiscuits: Former Death Eater, snitched on everyone in a deal with the MoM, and now currently works as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts, and proctoring Auror exams during the summer. Head of Slytherin.

Mumbles: Pro-Quidditch player, ranked nationally, plays for the Basilisks. Not sure if he wants to try out for the international team, or go into a different field. Ravenclaw alumni.

Sky: Squib. Helps Tech teach witches and wizards how to blend in with Muggles in a “crash course.” Keeps Tech up to date on Muggle affairs.

Calliope: Deputy Warlock on the Wizengamut. Slytherin alumni.

Pelagosa: Asshole, not doing anything with her life. She can ride her broom like a skateboard, so that’s cool I guess.

Littlefoot: Priest, Hufflepuff alumni. Helped hide TB and a baby Mumbles during Voldy’s takeover in the Second Wizard War.

Vati: Asshole on the Wizengamut. Ravenclaw alumni.

Other folks characters, correct me if I’m wrong or forget somebody! Bad memory!

Merriweather: Auror, pals around with Tech. Hufflepuff alumni (I think???).

Rusty: who the fuck knows, also pals around with Tech

Gilded Valor: Intelligence specialist, Auror, hands out assignments. Slytherin alumni.

Allure: Gryffindor alumni, currently in training to be an Auror like Papa Gilded.

Mystic Omen: Ravenclaw alumni, fucked off from the magical community to be a phone psychic. Not aware she is actually psychic and keeps falling into trances during calls.

Magpie: 7th year Hogwarts, Slytherin. Doesn’t know what to do with her life, terrible at magic, but doesn’t know she’s a prodigy in dark magic.

Abraxas: Asshole, dark wizard. Slytherin alumni. Former Death Eater and would like to be one again. Father of Magpie.

Neon Flight: Student, Gryffindor. Specialty in brooms and flying. Thinks she’d kind of like to be an Auror.

Lilyfeather: Student, Huffliest puff to ever puff, parseltongue. Excels in Herbology.

Cerise: Slytherin, favorite chil–er, student under TB. Would love to be a magical hairdresser.

Sandy Shores: Sells robes in Diagon Alley

Flora: School nurse, works with herbs; hots for Neville.

Fauna: School nurse, works with injuries.

First Watch: Student, Gryffindor, doING HIS BEST, tries hard but can’t stay awake in class.

Parfait Parfum: First Watch’s mommy, perfume seller. TB is her best customer. They do cheek kissies.

Dolly: Hooflepoofle, student. ALSO TRYING HER BEST.

Cannabis Incense: Potion-seller, Dolly’s mommy, Slytherin alumni.

Sealed Deal: Potionsmaster professor, Ravenclaw alumni; Dolly’s father. Kind of a jerk.

THERE’S A LOT FUCKING MORE BUT THOSE ARE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

[idiopathicsmile]

Hello, internet! Good morning or good evening, depending on where you are.

How's things? Remember that time before my whole blog fell down a fandom rabbit hole that seems to be tunneling itself deep into the center of the earth? (If you started following me back in those halcyon days and have somehow stuck around, know that I love you very, very much. Also, your patience is a mystery to me.)

From now on, I'm gonna tag any and all Les Mis related posts with "Les Mizzzz" (4 z's) so you can tumblr savior your way out of a dash filled with too many feelings about fictitious dead French people, if for some reason that is not your jam. At the same time, the tag is irritating enough that I can't imagine it's being used for anything right now, which means nobody is gonna suddenly get deluged with all my posts.

Everyone wins! High five!