#the hatake especially tho were among the more “who really gives a shit” clans

[oh-no-its-bird]

When Ichigo was born, multiple people lost bets about her gender— including one Hatake Haruka, who'd been positive she'd be a girl (and placed good money on it)

When Ichigo came out as trans, Haruka was among those really fucking excited about it SOLEY because this now meant people owed her hella money, and she aimed to collect

[oh-no-its-bird]

OH MY GOD NO BC I LOVE THIS???

Secretly just wolf summons Hatake... what did Tobirama do that made them like him so much? He somehow managed to tempted them into playing human for at least 3 generations (before presumably they got bored of it and fucked off)

There must have been any adjustment period for them to learn how to be human, and it must have been so fucking funny to see actually

I am picturing. Office scene.

Ok so picture this with me please:

Early Kohona. You are working in the newly established hokage tower. One of your new co workers is this Hatake guy.

Hes kind of weird, but it's whatever— a lot of clans, especially the animal ones have some quirks. You've heard the Hatake especially were a wild clan living the middle of nowhere Iron Country, super shit education, super isolated, super poor social skills. Apparently some of them can't even read.

You try to tell yourself it's whatever, and he really is nice— but he's also really fucking weird.

You've walked in on him eating out of a bowl by shoving his entire face into it and licking it clean like 10 times. Almost every single time he gives you a sort of deer in the headlights look and immediatley scrambles to use a spoon, holding it like he doesn't know how to use it.

You're pretty sure he keeps summoning his giant ass wolf summons in the office for some reason ??? You keep seeing flickers of fur, a tail flicking around the corner, that sort of thing.

(Your desk chair is apparently its favorite place to sleep because it's constantly covered in heavy grey fur. He denies it but looks guilty every time you bring it up. Once he even mumbled, "I dunno maybe you just smell nice to him." under his breath when you tried to shake an answer out of him. This did not endear him to you.)

He's an absolutely shit liar, especially for a shinobi. Whatever he thinks is usually written across his face in big, bold letters. It's almost like he has no control over his face at all, doesn't know how to still his expressions.

He keeps bringing you dead things, and at first you thought it was some sort of hazing ritual but now you're pretty sure it's supposed to be some sort of olive branch...? He once dumped an entire rabbit carcass on your desk. Your summons are rabbits. Obviously, you took this to be a threat.

After a week of nonstop stress, when you finally explained the misunderstanding to him, he looked only a little crushed.

Sorry I got a little carried away but like u get the picture. Early Kohona Hatake's being absoloutley awful at playing human but trying their best.

(Even tho that kind of ended up turning into a failed office romance au. Poor unnamed Hatake, u will never get the guy for they know what you are ((a freaky little weirdo))

ANYWAYS UMMM.

Sakumo being raised by Hatake who've already learned to play human (and being raised among actual humans) and being so much better at it

Then Kakashi doing the same but past another generation so he's even more distanced from being a real wolf

Actually funniest option: Sakumo dies like in canon and Kakashi, left alone, does actually believe he's a human boy. No one is here to tell him otherwise anymore.

Maybe it's a way to cope with his father's death, who knows

I think for this specific bit it'd be funny if the human disguise was a henge (that for some reason just can't be seen through, don't think ab it too hard)

Kakashi is LITERALLY a whole ass dog, the henge doesn't work on his own eyes, when he looks in the mirror he sees a dog. But he's just. Convinced he's a human boy. He is a human boy.

Kannabi bridge happens and Obito and him swap eyes but somehow because Dog(tm) Obito survived and goes back to Kohona with them.

But now because he and Kakashi exchanged eyes, he can see through the fucking henge. And he is losing his GODDAMN MIND !!!!

He thinks he's going insane at first.

Rin puts Kakashi's eye into his skull, and hes like, still under rocks or whatever. Rin is like "is it... working?"

And Obito coughs weakly and squints and looks up at her like "y-yeah, yeah I think—"

And theres just this record scratch as he suddenly notices the fluffy dog that's. Right there. Wearing Kakashi's uniform. With Obito's eye in his skull.

And Obito just cuts off abruptly, staring at Kakashi as he let's out a really high pitched "UM."

And then the dog speaks in Kakashi's voice and goes, "Obito, what's wrong?"

And Obito let's put an even louder, more high pitched, "U M ."

And now Rin is asking if he's ok too, looking super worried, but all Obito can blurt is,

"KAKASHI ??? WHY ARE YOU A DOG ?????"

Both Rin and Kakashi go silent, and then Kakashi, sounding genuinley distressed, is like, "Rin you were supposed to switch our eyes, not give him a lobotomy!!!"

Rin is putting her head in her hands starting to cry and going "ITS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS OK"

Anyways, they somehow get Obito knocked loose and return to Kohona and the entire fucking time Obito feels like he's going INSANE, but he's trying so hard not to comment on it bc Rin started crying ab how she'd made him crazy with her medical malpractice girlboss moment as Kakashi (dogkashi???) Looked as close to 'about to throw up' as a canine can look.

Anyways just. Obito losing his mind about Kakashi secretly being a fucking dog and Kakashi insisting he is a Normal Human Boy, he promises.

Every time someone has a crush on Kakashi or smthn Obito loses his mind even more bc theyre like "ohh he's so handsome...he's so mysterious..."

And Obito is like, head in his hands "he's a DOG he's an actual literal DOG"

He's given up trying to tell people this bc they either think he's crazy, trying to insult Kakashi somehow, or are like "ahaha yeah that dog lmao, what a man" (which is somehow the most upsetting result for Obito)

Obito confronts Kakashi multiple times and usually comes out of the conversation w Kakashi going some flavor of "do u hate me bc I'm different :(" and Obito going "am I... dog racist? Dogist...?"

Anyways, final thoughts: They made a dog the Hokage. (And he was somehow one of the most effective Hokage's in decades)

Hodogke....

Saw this art on twitter by @1iemak and it got me thinking ab silly things

Naruto au where everything is exactly the same in every way, but Kakashi is inexplicably a wolf. This changes literally nothing; he's just a wolf now. Not anthro or anything just. A wolf.

No one ever comments on it but its implied that he's been using genjutsu to make everyone think he's human.

The only one who has ever been able to see through this was Obito (possibly due to sharing eyes with him) and if he ever mentions it to anyone, they think he's crazy. (Crazier)