#the guy who created the breed says it’s his life regret and i agree

[kitthew]

no one understands my hatred of doodles other than people who also work in pet care

[skzafterdusk]

han jisung + “Put My Hands On You”

This was requested from the Dean Title Track Prompt List I posted where you can pick an SKZ member and a song for a drabble fic

Word Count: 1.9k words

tags: angst, fluff, and (mentions of) smut- oh my!

Summary: That friends with benefits trope we all know and love. Even though Jisung is sure you’d end up in his bed no matter how, he wishes you guys had met on different terms. 

Jisung doesn’t have many regrets in life, but he wished you and he had met differently, not in a way that was so...typical. But he’s sure no matter how you guys did end up meeting each other, you’d both still be in this same position:

The lights off, the street lamps and vibrant nightlife of the city just outside his window enough to illuminate your bodies, enough for him to enjoy the way your naked back concaves. In the warm glow of those street lights, the muscles in your back dance to their own beat, or maybe it’s the rhythm of his hips as he pounds into you. And even with your moans muffled by his covers, there’s a silence that fills the air in a comforting way.

The chemistry had been palpable from the start with you two. Still, Jisung wishes it had been under different circumstances. Then, perhaps, you wouldn’t feel the need to leave after you’ve washed up. Maybe then, you would just lay with him, allowing him to admire the way your lashes were conditioned and soft from your own tears of pleasure, and the red tint to your swollen lips. 

But alas, your meeting Jisung was so typical it was swaying on the border of unbelievable. 

See, the thing is, Han Jisung wasn’t normally the person to go to clubs. Sweaty bodies, crowded rooms with a majority of its clients under some sort of influence...the music is too loud and never quite that good-

Yet, there he was, at a club, out of obligation because that’s the sort of thing that comes with the job description as a singer, an idol, an artist.

It’s this fun little thing called “networking”, and if he wanted to get a producer as well adored as Seo Changbin to agree to help create what would undoubtedly be a record hit for the young artist, Jisung needed to be there, that night, up at the producer’s booth in the VIP area.

But all of that had already been worked out by then. The deal had been made, numbers were exchanged, and Changbin offered Jisung to party with him the rest of the night. Again, his acquiescence was purely out of obligation.

It meant, though, that when Jisung insisted on going down to get himself and Changbin some drinks so he could move around, he would bump into you, leaning against the bar, waiting for your own drink.

It doesn’t stop Jisung from asking to buy you a drink, more out of a loss of a way to actually talk to you.

You’d looked irresistible that night, silver earrings and a matching necklace adorning your skin, your outfit of choice seemingly made just for you with how well it fit, accentuating everything that Jisung couldn’t keep his eyes away from.

You raised your glass with a warm smile, answering his idiotic question. You wanted him to know that you weren’t meaning to tease him or even turn him away. Simply, he needed to try again, and find another way to spark conversation.

“Sorry. I didn’t notice your drink. Kinda just saw you.”

You scrunched your nose, but still giggled at his words. This wasn’t your first drink of the night, but even in sobriety, he would have seemed cute.

“That was fuckin’ cheesy, dude. But thanks.” You had to lean in close so he could hear you without yelling at him. The lights weren’t that dim, but you then realized why he looked so familiar, and gasped. “Oh, woah. You’re Jisung! I listen to a lot of your music.”

Stricken with flattery, said artist had been brought to stillness, unsure of how to respond. A simple thanks seemed too lame, and too much like the end of the conversation. But he didn’t want to come off as creepy.

And you’d caught onto his inability to respond. Even if you hadn’t known this man by name or face, he still was just very...cute.

“Are you here with someone else?” you asked.

“Ah, I’m getting drinks for me and my...uh, I’m getting drinks for someone in VIP.” And, as if on cue, the drinks magically appeared in front of him. “Would you wanna...join...me?”

Your eyes grew big in shock. “You want me to come up with you to VIP?”

He shrugged. “You seem like you’re fun.”

You grinned brightly, already picking up your own drink. “I can be tons of fun.”

And, to Jisung, he’d never met a person as honest as you, ever. You introduced yourself easily, and led Jisung through conversation that he may not have been able to initiate himself. The night carried on in that way, and it had been you that offered Jisung’s moment to exit for the night.

A goddamn lifesaver.

“Not the partying type?” you inquired once you were out in the open night, the cool air of early fall sending a chill down your spine.

“Not really,” the singer confessed. “I like being with people one-on-one, y’know?”

You stood closer to him. Although there wasn’t the same need to lean in for him to hear you, you still whispered your words as if you had the biggest secret. “We’re alone now. Or we can be.”

After your first night together, he thought he could write a song about you. He could wax poetry about the way your thighs felt gripping his waist, or the way your light touches sent him into a headspace almost foreign to himself, some place he’s only been to in his dreams. He hadn’t thought much about it when you left that night, cause you turned at the ajar door, leaving the gentlest peck on his cheek. Warmth had spread through his chest, and he thought he could write about that as well.

But he held off, waited until you texted him a few days later, asking if you could see him. He offered to make dinner for you first; you obliged, but you never made it to the bedroom that night, and most of the food had to be thrown away because of its inedibility. 

Jisung doesn’t remember the night that the warm spread through his chest began to ache like his heart wanted to crawl out of his chest. You still liked to kiss him before you left, but you were still leaving.

Maybe if he’d met you at a coffee shop instead, or maybe on your way to your university campus, then you wouldn’t feel the need to leave so suddenly. Something about clubs screams fun for one night or just plain fun in general. Maybe you think the night means sin and nothing else.

But now, Jisung’s head is pounding just as his heart, blood pumping through his veins as he crashes from his release.

You rest your head on his chest even if your skin is just as damp. 

“Think you have another round in you?” your words still sound breathless, like you’re desperately chasing for air.

Jisung’s body reacts to the words, thoughts already filling his head at the hope of fucking you again. But the desire scalds him in an almost pleasant way.

“Gonna have to give me a few minutes.”

You grin, lifting your head from his chest. “I can wait.”

The silence is soothing, and the artist likes the way the air cools you both down. It makes him feel like he can say anything daring. So he does. 

“You know...you don’t have to leave after we finish. You can stay here...sleep here.”

“Really.” 

Jisung turns his head to look at you. Your eyes are on your fingers as they draw patterns on his chest. The way you asked...it hadn’t sounded like a question at all. It sounds almost...accusatory.

“(Y/N), did you think you had to leave after we were done?”

You shrug, but you finally match his gaze. “Artists are a different breed, and I understand it. I understand how you like to find the beauty in the mundane, and how it can feel life-altering when beauty gets you drunk. People that constantly think about words are always trying to find the best way to…” you sigh, finding the right words, “Always trying to find the best way to get people to feel how they feel.”

“But, what does that have to do with us?”

“I’m okay with you craving beauty in others, needing to find out who you are with me or with someone else. There’s so much emotion to be had that ironically, words and labels can put a damper on-”

The artist huffs, sitting up abruptly, running a hand through his hair. “If you don’t wanna date me, just say it. Don’t try to soften the blow because you pity me.”

“Pity? How have I ever pitied you?”

“You didn’t think I noticed the way you handled me the night we met?”

Sitting up, your brows lace together in confusion. “You were shy. I thought it was cute. I still do think it’s cute.” You remember the way you felt about him then, how the idol with adoring fans seemed to stutter over his words as if it mattered what he said. 

You place a hand on his shoulder, letting your fingers walk up his neck, massaging and petting at his skin. His head falls into your hand, chasing your touch. For as open a person you know yourself to be, it’s possible that you have been holding yourself back from this man.

“I would love to date you, Jisung.” Your words are soft and sincere. “I just didn’t want to rush anything because I was happy with just getting to see you, kiss you...touch you. And if you didn’t want to learn more about me, I was okay with that, too.”

“But I do. Probably since the moment you sat next to me in that booth. You let me be me and you didn’t ask me to be something I’m not.” He leans back, your faces suddenly so close to each other. “You don’t know how many nights I wanted to grab your arm and pull you back into the bed, just so we could talk until the sun came up, or how much I want to send you cheesy pictures when I’m in the studio. Hell, I’ve even wanted to drive you home if you absolutely couldn’t stay the night.”

He kisses the hand still holding his jaw, and whispers, “Anything to just spend more time with you.”

“Cheesy,” you reply. “But...I’d like that, too.”

You don’t really understand the warmth that spreads through your chest as he smiles at you so sincerely. It’s a barely there lift of the lips, and yet you grin happily.

“So,” you start, biting at your bottom lip. “Are you ready to go again, or…”

His low chuckle brings you back, excites your body with anticipation. “I still need some time, but we can always start with you.”

You’re not mad at the suggestion. “Do what you wish.”

Jisung still thinks he could write a song about you. The words come so naturally, feel just as right as the way you moan in his ear and whimper against his mouth. And he does. The lyrics are sprawled on napkins, parcels of paper, and behind his eyelids. He’s excited to know what else he could write about with you in his life.

Val’s Note:

I hope you enjoyed this next installment in the Dean Title Track Fic series. This one isn’t gratuitous smut, and I’m sorry if that is what you are here for. But This song sparks more than sex even though...that’s literally what the song is about. Hopefully it still is a good read. Tune in next time!

[agent-cupcake]

Imagine having a child with a guy named Jimmy. Cursed.

OTHERWISE you all pretty much echoed what I was thinking, bless you.

cw pregnancy / forced pregnancy

(As ever, this is all in the context of dark personalities. I hesitate to say yandere, although that’s kind of become synonymous with dark personality AU’s and an obvious argument can be made that a darker take on the characters could lead into a yandere scenario) 

Ferdinand von Aegir

~While I don’t think he’d go out of his way to have a baby, he definitely wouldn’t take any steps to avoid it, either. That is, he wouldn’t really stray into breeding kink territory or anything of that kind but he’s not gonna pull out either. 

~But, yeah, if you were to get pregnant, Ferdinand wouldn’t be displeased by any means. He’d legitimately think it was the best way to “fix” things and out of a misguided attempt to ignore any negative aspects of the relationship and cling to the idealism of a happy marriage. 

~Just a side note, but I def see him with a body worship kink and I can only begin to imagine how that would intensify with his weakness for the softness and so-called beauty of motherhood. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.   

~Honestly, I don’t see him overtly leveraging  as a manipulation tactic. No, he’s good enough that his genuine feelings could do the job for him. Like, it’s not just you anymore. You’re responsible for another life so don’t you think you just trust him and let him take care of you? Oh, sure, he’d humor you (on account of the hormones) and say that he understands why you’re upset, but please just calm down. Everything will be all right, he’ll take care of you. 

~I think that Ferdinand would want a family even without the whole dark personality aspect. The way he’d see it is that children are a natural result of a union and love. He’d absolutely cherish your children if for no other reason than the fact that they’d be half you, although you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have a horrible weakness for kids.  

~You’d be barely showing and he’d be picking out baby names and getting opinions on how to decorate the nursery and occasionally freaking out due to anticipation and nerves. He’d be really, disastrously, over-the-top protective, too. I just assume white magic would greatly lessen the infant and mother mortality rate but that doesn’t entirely remove the risk of complications so he’d be cloyingly careful about everything you ate, keeping tabs on any possible oddity going on with you. And, you know, I think he would enjoy emotionally taking care of you. Like if you were scared or sad or anything, I think he’d enjoy comforting you in a way that’s definitely not healthy. He’d enjoy being needed, I suppose.

~Yeah, so overall I view any sort of darker personality take on Ferdinand to be him, but with his sweet and noble and protective traits dialed up to an eleven without any sort of self awareness to make him pause and consider that maybe you don’t feel the same so having a child like this, as an intentional act of manipulation to make you stay or not, would be within the realm of possibilities.

Sylvain Jose Gautier (Bastard Man)

~Sylvain is pretty easy to imagine with a dark personality. I mean, assuming you have no pity in your heart and are willing to write him in a way that he never was able to get over his myriad issues, self hatred, severe distrust of people’s true intentions, and familial trauma.

~Assuming all that, and entertaining the idea that he could never find a good balance of repression and escapism, I think Sylvain would create an unhealthy emotional bond to a single person he believed to be exempt from his overall dismal regard for people and do this fun little thing where he’d chaotically flip flop between extreme emotions of distrust, blame, and anger and adoration, need, and a desperation to be seen as he was and still loved. 

~But it’d be a brutal cycle because he’s not the delusional type. Sometimes he could be, both with the good and the bad, but those would be kind of episodic. There’d be bad days where he’d be utterly convinced that you were just like the rest and he’d pick little fights and generally just be pretty pissy. But then sometimes he’d be blinded by love and so caught up in it that even if you told him no, he’d take it with a cheeky wink because of course you loved him and everything was so good. But, mostly, it’d just be a lot of dysfunction and Sylvain trying to lure you into a nice, good relationship with him by being mostly normal and decently charming and even, occasionally, being vulnerable (and tricking you into being vulnerable with him). 

~Anyway, back to the point. With all that context, why not bring a baby into the mix, right?    

~How many times does Sylvain bring up crest babies. Please, someone do a hard count and get back to me because damn son. So, may I just say, if anyone of these three were to have a breeding kink it’d be him. Is that controversial? Just think about it. Every girl ever wants him mystical crest cum, right? So, mentally, the whole thing would have a lot of weight and significance. Also Sylvain just strikes me as the type who’d be self aware enough of his dark and unhealthy needs that staking as intimate of a claim as that would be erotic. Unlike the other two, the act of forcing an irreversible and tangible change in your body and mind would be interesting. Not that he’d tell you any of that, or even dwell on it himself. 

~I’m torn between Sylvain saying it was an accident and him using the argument that since the two of you were in love, it was only natural that you’d start a family together. How could you not want to have his children? Better yet, how was he supposed to know that you wanted to wait. 

~But if you continued to be unreasonable, he’d go on the defensive. Like, what are you going to do? Leave him? For what? To raise his baby on your own? Or, worse, abandon your child? If you thought he’d voiced unfairly negative opinions about women before, the way he’d talk about a mother who abandoned her child and such a good, happy life with a loving husband would be infinitely worse. After all, he wanted to make a change in your relationship and be happy together. He wanted to be a good, loving father. He wanted a family with you. After everything, what kind of person would you be to throw that all away?

~So that’s... a lot. 

~But Sylvain’s the type to be awful in the moment then regret it after the heat dies down. Knowing he’d hurt you would genuinely tear him up inside. All of that adoration and desperation to keep you with him because he’d feel like he needed you to be happy would kick in and he’d break down under the guilt and tell you how much he loved you, how happy it made him to think that the two of you could have a family, that he knew you would be a great mother, that he knew he’d messed up but he would make it up to you, that you really could be a happy family. 

~Just saying, I can see him taking a perverse sort of pleasure in the physical effects of pregnancy. Also, he’d definitely be a lot softer with you. Guilty conscience, anyone?

Dimitri (Dimi) (Jimmy)

~You, dear anon, said it better than I could have myself. I agree SO HARD that Dimitri would be terrified of being a parent, but at the same time I think, if it were to happen, he’d be utterly enamored with the idea. There’s a lot more that I think about how he’d regard fatherhood, but that’s the gist. 

~Funny thing is, darker Dimitri is just like... More needy... unbearably protective... Paranoid... less stable... bad at managing his emotions when it comes to you... But, like, the same general emotions about fatherhood would apply because that’s already pretty complex. Only, this time, with an obvious emphasis on how it would effect you and your relationship. 

~I was going to say that I can’t see Dimitri purposefully impregnating you, but that’s not entirely true. In a fit where he’s feeling especially raw and paranoid, I think he would do it very purposefully and even almost-kinda-sorta relish in the idea. 

~I view his obsessive feelings to be like an itch he can’t quite scratch because he knows better than anybody how easy it would be to lose you and doesn’t know how to manage both his own instability with the unpredictable world because at any moment it could all spiral apart. 

~So, this in mind, he could believe that having a baby would make things different. More than just vows or words or rings or anything, it would be a concrete and absolute tie between the two of you. He would have an unquestionable claim over you that would go beyond the scope of just your relationship, you’d be carrying the royal heir which would give Dimitri even further valid excuses to be suffocatingly overprotective.

~It would be... So messy... On the one hand, I think the concept of fatherhood, of being given another chance, of being needed that much more by both you and the child, would really appeal to him. It could even sand off some of the rougher edges of his darker traits, now that he had this assured security in keeping you with him. Sure, the itch wouldn’t be scratched entirely, but it would be easier to ignore, there would be a solid way to reassure himself that you were his.   

~But Dimitri’s got this awful middle ground of self awareness. Anything that would come off delusion would be a result of his endless attempts at rationalizing his unhealthy feelings and trying to make sense of it all without having to actually confront the issues. But that wouldn’t mean he wouldn’t know, on some level, that what he was doing wasn’t healthy and how bad it was for you. The guilt would be intense, which would be apart of the reason he needed to keep you so close all the time because then he could pretend that you needed him just as badly, that everything was all right because he could take care of you better than anyone else. 

~Dimitri’s self aware guilt would allow a part of himself to understand that he should let you go. He could even, on the bad days, convince himself that maybe, one day, he would allow you to leave him because he loved you, because what he was doing was wrong. As long as you were near him, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, he would always hurt you. 

~But using pregnancy to force you to stay with him would, perhaps even in an intentional subconscious way, cut off that last-ditch contingency to ease his own guilt and pain of what he was doing by keeping you with him. Now that you were going to be having his child, the royal heir, would mean that you could never leave. He’d know it. You would probably know it, too. 

~After that point, Dimitri would double down with proving his affection, proving that he was capable of taking care of you and his child and that you could be a family and everything would be okay. 

[hekate1308]

Another Today, Chapter One

Drowley this time around. Witch!Crowley, Familiar!Dean. Enjoy!

“How nice of you to grace us with your presence”.

And that was exactly why Crowley had not wished to come to the Coven meeting and wouldn’t have, if his mother and her familiar Abaddon hadn’t insisted on it.

“How could I possibly miss out on seeing my Supreme?” he snarled, despite knowing better.

Lucifer, in his not at all humble opinion, was the worst Supreme he’d ever seen, despite or maybe because Rowena fawning over him.

The Supreme raised an eyebrow.

“You might see even more of me when I finally go into politics”.

The assembled witches laughed, and Crowley wondered if he was the only one who’d realized that their leader was not joking about his ambitions. In the past few years he’d suspected more and more that Lucifer didn’t just want to rule the witches in their State, but regular humans as well. And the last thing he wished was for him to have even more power.

Most of that had to do with his familiar Michael, as Crowley well knew. Now and then – not often – a witch and a familiar fit together so well that their combined power put a nuclear reactor to shame, and sadly this was the case here.

Crowley shot the dog sitting at Lucifer’s feet a glare. If he had ever been tempted to find a familiar (which he was not and had never been) he wouldn’t have wanted a snivelling, obedient creature to bow to his every whim. What a boring existence.

It was impossible to say what breed Michael was even supposed to be. Bulldog? Terrier? Shepherd’s dog? All of the above?

In his head, Crowley called Michael a hell hound.

He’d have liked to know what his familiar was supposed to be before he bonded with them, thank you very much.

But then, he didn’t want a familiar. He didn’t need anyone in his life for a longer period of time than a night, thank you very much. And if he needed power, he could always ask Abaddon or Fiona, his son’s familiar. They might not have had the best relationship, but they were still blood.

Many had reminded him that not bonding with anyone not only reduced his magic, but his life span as well, but Crowley had never seen a point in living forever. The last three hundred years had been long enough. He was content with his existence, but giving it up wouldn’t mean much to him.

He let Lucifer drown on and on, wondering how the draught he was cooking was coming along. Creating elixirs didn’t require power, only skill, and he’d long been considered their coven’s best potion maker.

He’d been experimenting on protection potions for a while now, thanks to Lucifer. As one of the few witches who didn’t scream their approval at his every word, an attack was sure to come soon, especially if he wanted to follow his dreams of world domination.

Crowley really should have known he would act sooner rather than later.

And to his everlasting shame, he was lost in thought as he walked home, having hoped the walk would clear his head, and therefore not transporting to his house immediately.

It was a fatal mistake, or it would have been, if not for –

A small squeak that sounded surprisingly furious caught his attention and he turned around to see a –

Squirrel attack Michael, who’d been sneaking up on him.

A squirrel?

Crowley could tell it was a familiar, but to choose to attack one with a huge dog form –

It was hoping up and down his back, leaving little bites that couldn’t really hurt Michael, but enraged him.

He was already bound to be furious because he couldn’t sneak up on Crowley and devour his throat anymore.

Now was exactly the time for making an elegant exit, but –

The squirrel familiar – and Crowley knew no witch who was bonded with one – had saved his life by risking their own. He couldn’t just leave them.

An attack of altruism that he would never have suspected he was capable of.

Thank God familiars didn’t have very strong magical capabilities of their own. If Lucifer had been with him, Crowley never would have dared to interfere, but the Supreme was certainly trying to establish on alibi somewhere far away.

He got read to blast Michael to Canada – the mutt would need a while to come back, and he wouldn’t be harmed so Lucifer couldn’t blame him openly – when he succeeded in throwing the Squirrel off his back. The familiar flew through the air before landing on the pavement, giving another squeak before lying still, probably dead.

A twinge of regret and guilt reared its head, to Crowley’s surprise.

Maybe he threw a bit more power into the spell than he should have – Michael normally wouldn’t have disappeared in a big pile of smoke – but it felt good.

He walked over to the fallen familiar.

It would be the proper thing to do, finding out who he was and contacting his witch, who must already know they were dead due to the bond snapping.

To his astonishment, he realized quickly that the Squirrel was still alive. It was breathing and twitching, unconscious but in pain, and Crowley leaned down and picked it up carefully before he knew what he was doing.

Then again, he did always have healing potions in reserve.

He transported them both home.

He carefully placed the Squirrel on the sofa before hurrying towards his lab.

He didn’t even spare the bubbling kettle a glance as he got the potion.

Crowley had to administer the brew with a small syringe, and he wasn’t at all sure if the familiar was able to swallows in the state he was in, but he had to try.

Half an hour later, he knew he’d been successful.

The squirrel was breathing easier, and it was moving more, the pain receding.

There was nothing to do but to wait.

Crowley returned to his potion, which was coming along just fine; but despite knowing how good his work was and that the familiar would be fine in the morning, he still checked on him regularly for some reason.

He even carefully put a blanket over him when he retired for the night.

The next morning, the squirrel was still out, but obviously asleep. It had even curled up, suggesting that whatever inner injuries it had suffered from were gone.

Crowley had meant to make breakfast, but instead he stood there, looking down at the familiar until their eyes blinked open.

Green eyes.

“Morning, Squirrel”.

It blinked, then frowned – as much as a squirrel was able to.

“If you want me to greet you by name, you should probably tell me”.

Another blink, and it changed form.

Crowley would freely admit to himself that he had in no way suspected that the small animal was one of the most gorgeous men he’d ever seen. And he’d seen a few, in his time.

“Hey. You bring me here?”

“You were injured. I poured a healing potion down your throat. You’re welcome”.

He nodded.

“Fergus Crowley, right?”

He was taken aback.

Narrowing his eyes he said, “I don’t recall meeting you before”.

And someone like this he would undoubtedly have remembered, but that thought went unspoken.

“We haven’t. But we’ve collected information about your coven, and – “

“Who is “we”? And who are you, just to begin with?”

“You could be a bit politer. I saved your life, you know”.

“And I saved yours too, so we’re even. Now who are you?”

“Dean. Dean Winchester”.

He had heard the name Winchester before; they were an old family of familiars. But he’d never known that one of them had a squirrel form.

“And where’s your witch?”

He blinked, looking remarkably like the squirrel he’d been only a short while ago.

“Dude, I’m not bonded. Can’t you tell?”

If he concentrated on it, but he’d never paid particular attention to others.

Dean snorted.

“Of course. I find the one witch who doesn’t care about familiars”.

“And why should that concern you? I carried you here, didn’t I?”

“Fair enough” Dean relented.

“Do you have food in the house? I’m starving. I’ll explain everything at breakfast”.

Crowley had no recollection of agreeing to invite him when they sat down at the kitchen table.

“You have a stove and a microwave? Your power running dry?”

He wasn’t as strong as he had been a few decades ago, but his magic hadn’t grown that weak yet.

“I prefer to use my powers in other ways, that is all”.

Dean nodded.

“I get that. This one time, a witch asked me to channel her magic so she could clean her windows. How lazy can some people be?”

It sounded like his mother, but Crowley didn’t comment on it.

“So” Dean said after they had eaten (even though Crowley remembered distinctly that he’d said they would talk at breakfast, not after breakfast) “You have a problem”.

“Do I?”

“Please. I’ve read up on you. People say you’re a bastard, but one thing you’re surely not, and that’s dumb. You know what Lucifer Pellegrino wants to do”.

“And how do you know about it?”

“Friend of ours” again that mysterious “we”; Crowley was beginning to wonder who Dean could mean, considering he didn’t have a witch “went through town a few months back. You might remember her – Charlie Bradbury?”

“Red hair?” he asked, recalling the bubbly, happy-go-lucky witch immediately. She specialised in electronics and combining them with magic, if he was right.

She and her familiar Glinda had been annoyingly cute together during the whole coven meeting.

But that had apparently not stopped her from observing them closely, as Dean nodded and said, “She said Pellegrino wants to take over the world, and that most of you guys seem into it. Mentioned you as a possible detractor. We collected information and then decided one of us should check it out”.

Check him out, Dean meant.

Interesting.

“But when I came upon you, I saw the familiar trying to attack you – “

“It was Lucifer’s”.

“I thought so. Anyway, I couldn’t do much but alert you and hope to distract him a bit”.

It was certainly distracting. I haven’t been as entertained as I was when I watched Michael jump helplessly up and down in a while”.

Dean smirked.

“Yeah, he was quite pathetic, wasn’t he? Just a bit strong in his familiar form. Their bond must be---“

“Strong as iron” Crowley interrupted him. “Believe me, enough witches have coveted Michael for themselves and have tried to break it”.

“I assume they’re no longer among us”.

Crowley nodded.

Dean sighed.

“This is bad news. We all know why it’s important humans are kept out of this. And of course I’ve never been a fan of dictators, period. I was hoping Lucifer wasn’t as powerful as Charlie thought. But his familiar alone is troubling enough. Normally I can take on anyone, no problem – “

“You’re a squirrel!”

“And from an old family. Usually I can force someone back into their human form, easy as pie, and I’m an excellent fighter. “

They were indeed ancient, then. That quality of familiars was mostly considered lost nowadays.

“Anyway, thank God you were there”.

If he hadn’t been, Dena wouldn’t have been fighting Michael in the first place, but Crowley didn’t mention it.

“So what now?” he asked.

“Now we put our heads together and ensure your Supreme doesn’t rise to higher places”.

“And what do I get in return?”

Dean shrugged.

“Aside from not being the victim of future assassination attempts? We know many familiars...”

“I don’t want one”.

“Didn’t say you did. I am just saying, if you ever need your powers channelled by someone strong, you can always count on us. Plus, you know, it’s not a bad thing to have a Winchester at your side when things go badly”.

If the stories he’d heard about the magical crisis the family had managed over the centuries were true, that was correct.

“Alright then” he said, “We have a deal”.

[offansandflames]

My favorite time of year. Employee reviews. My company, Konoha Corp, approaches the higher levels of management first and then goes downward. This is my round. I’ve been stuck in this stale room for 45 minutes.

“Sasuke, sometimes you can come off as…”

Kakashi trailed off. That only annoyed me.

“As what?”

“As challenging. Demanding.”

Of course I know how I come off. And it works.

“I get results, don’t I?”

It annoys me that he has the nerve to confront me about this. Every single product release under my management has gone off without complications. In terms of revenue and increasing market share, I’ve outperformed every single one of my contemporaries by a landslide. I’ve held this role for three years as of June and have moved mountains.

“Your results are stellar. Sasuke, you are a very brilliant scientist and a shrewd businessman. But you’re breeding a workplace culture that is afraid to fail. They’re afraid to show creativity.”

“Afraid to fail.”

That phrase just sticks between my ears and goads me, because right now I’m so clearly remembering Itachi yelling at me over huge stacks of messy papers when I showed him my plans for the AI components of one of our new virtual executive assistants December of last year.

“This has all been done before. It’s good work, but it’s by the books. Why are you so afraid to fail? You’ll never make a difference that way!”

He died three months ago. Whenever I remember him, I get upset. If I’m around people, that automatically manifests as me being pissed off.

“Can we afford to fail with our brand’s reputation and the market share at stake? Why are you complaining?”

I know I’m being difficult and missing the point. I continue regardless.

“Sasuke, people respect you, but they also fear you.”

“Yes. That’s a management style.”

Kakashi sighs, clearly frustrated. I couldn’t care less, because I’m frustrated too.

Steve Jobs pulled it off. So can I.

“You need to show them a softer, more caring side. These are brilliant people.”

Most of them are bright. I have my doubts about a few, one person in particular on my mind. But I didn’t hire him, so I consider myself absolved. Itachi must’ve been smoking crack.

“They need a supportive environment to innovate. We’re a consumer technology company, Sasuke. We need to be on the edge, or we’re obsolete by definition.”

At this point, I could go on about all of the successful product launches and ballooning profits. There’s just one inconvenient aspect of the situation: he’s right. And I know damned well that people are afraid to think outside of the box because they’re afraid of what I might do if they fail.

He’s asking me to do something I don’t know how to do, but I won’t admit to it. I’m silent, which he takes as a cue.

“It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic or unnatural. Just try to be more understanding if an employee makes a mistake. If they were using their best judgment and were being diligent, then it’s enough that they tried.”

What if they have their head in the clouds and spend all day wondering, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…?” What if they squander their potential by sitting on their ass and playing class clown with coworkers? Like a certain vapid blue-eyed employee I have. Eye color generally means nothing to me, but it’s difficult not to remember such a brilliant blue.

“I agree with you that as long as something was done responsibly and with due diligence, the employee shouldn’t be reproached. What I object to is anything less than diligence.”

Kakashi looks down at my desk, and he looks back up at me with his eyes half lidded. He looks tired.

“Look. Not everyone is going to have your work ethic, Sasuke. And sometimes people do get distracted. As their manager, you use the ruler first, not the sledgehammer.”

A pause.

“You have to show you care.”

Right. The only issue is that I don’t.

I frown. Inhale. Exhale. I remind myself of what Itachi said, which is almost entirely the reason why I speak my next sentence.

“Okay, I’ll try a softer hand.”

Kakashi smiles, because he knows how big of an accomplishment it was to get me to say that. I will let him believe it’s his victory. I don’t give a damn.

“But I’m warning you in advance that we may experience some hiccups.”

I issue that disclaimer because this means relinquishing some of my control in the interest of fostering innovation. I don’t know what will happen. My team might fail. I don’t want that to be interpreted as a failure on my part.

“We’ll consider them learning experiences.”

-   -   -

He code named it CMI. Caring Manager Initiative. Apparently, even this requires an acronym. It’s like a bad joke.

This is, without a doubt, my least favorite project that I have ever been on. Ever.

I will have to update Kakashi on my progress next quarter. He’d outlined three action items for me to fulfill by the next quarter:

1.       Conducting Employee Reviews

2.       Showing Interest in Employee Activities

3.       Acknowledging Employee Achievements

I will record everything and act diligently and rationally at every step. If there is a failure, it will not be because I failed.

 Phase I - Caring Manager Initiative Conducting Employee Reviews

I can’t even express how much I hate conducting employee reviews.

I go over every detail of the person’s value to the company. I fixate on their accomplishments for about 70% of the review. They plead their case. They almost always want more money, and I can only acquiesce about half of the time. I listen to their hackneyed excuses with a seemingly empathetic nod, which Itachi once told me was actually pretty convincing.

With practiced ease, like a surgeon, I speak about “opportunities to improve,” because no one wants to be criticized. And this go around, it seems like I have to put the kiddie gloves on. God forbid I hurt anyone’s feelings.

So it’s with mixed relief and dread that I view Naruto’s name on my calendar as my next appointment.

Naruto comes into my office with a big grin.

“Alright, Bossman. Let’s get this show on the road!”

I have told him to stop calling me Bossman so many times that I’ve lost count.

“Sit down.”

Now he has to obey me. He does so without complaint, not realizing that this was a power play on my part. With employees like Naruto, establishing boundaries is key.

As annoyed as I am with him, I know that for once today, I can be honest. I never hold back with Naruto. He takes everything I could ever dish out…and throws it back in my face.

I can’t believe I haven’t fired him yet.

“Okay, Naruto. You know that your designs have, in theory, been…interesting.”

Naruto puffs up like a toad at the compliment and stares at me like he’d just triumphed over me. It makes me regret saying it.

“But when it comes to creating the prototypes and testing them, everything falls to shit. You don’t see your ideas through. That’s fatal. If a product doesn’t work, it’s useless.”

“So you’re calling my work useless?” Naruto bristles.

It is true that he hasn’t gotten a single product off the ground. He’s a dreamer.

“I’m saying that the devil’s in the detail.”

At this point, if it were anyone else, I’d be reassuring them of how valuable they are to the company and how integral they are to the team. I’d smile and talk to them about promotions and ask them to fill out company templates with their goals for the next year. But that would sound forced, because that’s not how Naruto and I talk.

Naruto puffs out his cheeks and pouts, and I feel like I’m talking to a teenager. People have probably told him he needs to be more detail-orientated, because God knows it’s true.

“There’s that, and the fact that you keep checking your cell phone during working hours and socializing with coworkers too often.”

Naruto smiles and gives an impish laugh.

“This is not funny.”

“So… I guess I’m not getting a raise, huh?” he asks sheepishly, still trying to lighten the situation.

“Now that was funny.”

“Oh, you are such a prick,” Naruto answers, amused by my attitude. He should be used to it at this point.

“Is that really what you want to say to your boss?”

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

I dislike the fact that I have to bring this issue to his attention for him to resolve it. It demonstrates a lack of proactivity. In fact, in all aspects of the guy’s life… He’s so laid back and easygoing. Everything is always fine and well with him, and who cares what reality actually is. Such disregard for life’s priorities. I don’t get him, nor do I want to.

“You’ve been warned,” I answer. “I’m documenting it. Fix it, and we’ll have no problems.”

Naruto sighs, and again I feel like a parent. Naruto looks down and bites his lip, and I start thinking that maybe he’s more frustrated with himself than he is with me.

“Okay.”

We continue the conversation. He didn’t call me Bossman again the entire meeting.

Stage II - Caring Manager Initiative Showing Interest in Employee Activities

Konoha Corp has a club for public speaking, held every Wednesday at lunch time. As both a scientist and a businessman, I realize that scientists are not known for mixing well with the business world. Itachi always told me never to let one of my scientists talk to one of my investors.

Our employees come here for that extra polish. The moderator, Shizune, explained that today’s workshop would all be impromptu, two-minute speeches. She put everyone’s names in a bowl, and she’d draw each speaker out until the bowl emptied. Each person would have their own topic. Meanwhile, she’d videotape them on their phone.

Public speaking is one of my strengths, not that I particularly enjoy talking. I practiced for years and fancy myself an actor now.

And of course, Naruto is here. Of all the faces in the room, his was the one I expected to see the most. He thrives off of being the center of attention. Shizune now pulls a slip out of the bowl, and everyone is sweating around me. Naruto’s name is the first she pulls.

I can’t imagine how pleased he must be by this as he walks toward the lectern.

“And the topic is…”

A pause. Naruto is standing behind the lectern now.

“Your favorite food.”

No one’s looking at me, so I roll my eyes.

Clearly, he’s doing this to show off. He’s a bubbling extrovert. He’s going to crack a few jokes. People will laugh, because he’s damn good at making people laugh. I have no interest whatsoever in watching him puff up and prattle on for whatever acknowledgement his secretly insecure soul craves.

But then he starts speaking. My mind goes blank. I’m taken off guard. Shocked.

Shocked by how horrible he is at this.

“I…”

He looks down at his feet, then paces a few steps.

“Um…”

He’s choking. I did not see this coming.

“Wow, uh…”

His body is very obviously shaking. I doubt anyone could miss it.

“Um… Give me a minute. I’m…” he stammers. “I’m off to some start, huh?”

The room gives a forced and sympathetic laugh that makes me want to cringe.

He’s a wreck.

But he’s trying. I have to say that for him. He’s earnest, and raw, and vulnerable, and… In a nutshell, everything that I’m not.

His face is bright red. I don’t know why, but my chest feels tight. This is painful to watch, yet I can’t take my eyes off of him. I find myself wishing that I could plant words on his tongue, which is ironic given that he generally never shuts the hell up.

“So, ramen…” he starts, gesturing with his arms. “It’s… It’s a hot food and… So, you know…”

Everyone is looking at him. I can’t explain it, but if anyone so much as snickers at his awkwardness, I would fire them on the spot.

If I were that shitty at public speaking, you couldn’t pay me to go up there and fumble, turn five different shades of red, and shake like a leaf. But he did, because he wants to improve. He took initiative. Still, it’s certainly not like I’m impressed by his pathetic attempt at a speech.

Well… Maybe just a little bit impressed.

He’s brave.

Braver than I gave him credit for.

I again remember Itachi telling me, “You’re afraid to fail.” It burns, and I swallow tight. It’s bad enough that he was right. Even worse that he’s dead, and now I’m thinking about it. I was not prepared to feel today. I clear my mind.

“You um… I like ramen because it’s easy to make and…”

“The time is up,” Shizune informed him with a smile.

He smiles, but his shoulders slump. I can’t blame him.

“And Mr. Uchiha, it’s so wonderful to have you join us today!”

Naruto looks at me, and his eyes widen to the size of golf balls. He is a stubborn thorn in my side, and I want to deck him every time he calls me “Bossman” in that same nauseatingly upbeat tone. Usually I’d jump at the chance to one up him, but this is very different. I hold eye contact with him for just an instant before addressing Shizune again.

“Yes, thank you, everyone. Nice work.”

Without a word, Naruto runs right out of the room, abandoning any attempt at composure and leaving his phone behind with Shizune. This isn’t like him. Was he going to… Unravel? Cry or something? Just because he now realizes I was watching?

I’ve been thinking about it for a while, trying to figure it out. This banter dialogue we’ve had going… He seems like he fixates on me. He’s…

Shit. I really hope this isn’t what I think it is.

All of this churns through my head as my face betrays nothing. I think that the power to pull an impeccable stone cold poker face in light of any situation runs in my family. Or maybe it’s learned. Whatever the case, it’s a valuable gift.

Meanwhile, people start murmuring and chatting about Naruto’s rushed exit.

“Shut up,” I say to everyone, firmly and just a little more loudly than I would in normal conversation.

In a heartbeat, the room goes so quiet you could hear a piece of paper hit the ground.

Refreshing.

The meeting continues with my go ahead. I begrudgingly sit there and pretend to be interested. I pretend like I don’t want to leave that meeting right now and find Naruto. If I found him, what would I do? I don’t know. So why bother?

I see the meeting through to its dazzling completion and have accomplished my mission as Caring Manager for the day, though I admit that telling everyone to shut up was counterproductive. I should have known better, but it was worth it.

Stage III Acknowledging Employee Achievements

I didn’t see Naruto again that day until the late hours of the evening. It’s ten, at which time the office is generally a ghost town. I could hear someone typing from the opposite side of the floor. We both had our respective deadlines to meet for the next morning, though me pulling all-nighters was nothing out of the norm.

I’m trying to eat my turkey sandwich and mark up my prototypes at the same time. I hear footsteps outside of my office and look to see Naruto trying to sneak past my door. He’s all too conspicuous in his attempts to avoid eye contact with me.

“Good job,” I say loudly enough for him to hear.

I thought he deserved it.

“Very funny, jackass.”

He knows what I’m referring to, naturally. He’s stopped outside of my office now.

“I’m not joking,” I answer.

He looks up at me, and there’s indecision in his eyes. He’s trying to read me, which he’s always been horrible at.

“Is that…an actual compliment?”

Naruto grins. It looks like gloating.

“It was pity.”

“What?”

I have no idea why I just said that; it was a knee jerk reaction. I feel like I kicked a puppy in the face.

“No… It wasn’t pity.”

I’m frustrated with myself, because I can’t seem to pull this off without ruining it somehow.

“Look… If you haven’t noticed, sincerely complimenting people is not my strong suit. I thought I’d take your example and try something I suck at today.”

That was downright painful.

“You’ve got guts, Uzumaki.”

Naruto lights up like the sun and smiles at me, and if I’m going to follow that analogy, I feel like the rays have warmed me.

“Well…” Naruto pauses and then looks into my eyes again. “Good job, Bossman.”

He continues to smile at me, and the atmosphere grows stale. There’s an adage: always leave them wanting more.

“Have a good one. See you tomorrow.”

I give him a nod, and he issues that dramatic, almost frantic wave that he’s known for with a beaming grin. As he leaves my office and approaches the exit, I hear him hum under his breath. Why am I sad to hear him go?

I sigh and resist the temptation to insult him. CMI will be difficult; there’s no denying that. And of all of CMI’s challenges, Naruto will likely be the greatest. At the very least, today Naruto gave me a crash course on how to fail. As sick as it makes me to admit this, I should be learning from him.

[synergygolfsolutions]

Greg Norman: All I Know About Winning in Golf, Business and Life

The trek to Greg Norman's getaway in northwest Colorado is a roundabout one. The retreat is tucked away in a remote, evergreen-covered corner of this rugged state, an area so isolated that GPS is little help. An unmarked dirt road runs from the highway to his front door, uncoiling like the rattlesnakes that lurk in the brush. Driving for some 30 minutes, you feel lost. Definitely lost. Then his Rocky Mountain Xanadu appears: a 14,000-square-foot "cabin," two miles of fly-fishing nirvana, and wildlife at every turn. Norman's ranch is as beautiful and seemingly as vast as the snowcapped Rockies that encircle it. It's difficult to fathom how he parlayed "only" 20 PGA Tour wins into this.

Of course, the Shark was chasing much more than just trophies. Like Arnold Palmer before him, Greg Norman oozed charisma, both on and off the course. He bestrode fairways with a swashbuckling, take-no-prisoners (and look good doing it) style that made everyone notice. Prize money? That was chump change. Norman saw a worldwide brand as the ultimate reward, and he has gone on to amass a fortune that has been estimated at $400 million. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Take the well-publicized divorce from his first wife in 2006 that halved his assets (au revoir, $103 million); the heartbreaking near misses in eight majors; his clash with the PGA Tour over his World Tour brainchild, which he calls the low point of his career. But you don't become an icon by surrendering to adversity. "Failure makes you stronger," says Norman, 58, now three years into his third marriage (with interior designer Kirsten Kutner, 45). How strong? Great White Shark Enterprises operates 16 profitable ventures in areas ranging from real-estate development to turf research to prime beef sales. Like his ravenous namesake, the Great White Shark is far from satisfied. He's got big plans. Welcome to the success secrets of a man in full -- the guiding thoughts that helped a kid from Mount Isa, Australia, ascend from a $32-a-week job in a pro shop to the pinnacle of the golf world, and build his brand into a booming international business.

Do Your Homework

I became a good businessman because I was a good golfer. Golf taught me how to practice, formulate a strategy and then execute it -- a due-diligence process that also fuels good business decisions. Some people are naturals at business. I'm not, but I had a great education through golf.

Patience Is Underrated

I signed my first contract with Reebok in 1989. Paul Fireman, Reebok's CEO, had a dream for me, but eventually structured the deal so I could function as my own brand. That was huge. The more independent you can be in life, the better. But since I didn't have a lot of marketing or branding knowledge at the time, I was patient. I didn't go for the quick buck. I focused only on how big it could become. I'm lucky in that I have pretty good long-term vision. Why do I have it? I don't know. But here we are decades later -- and I've only reached 20 percent of what this company is capable of achieving.

I was a different person on the course. I wasn't as patient, because I didn't have to be. I knew everything about the game and was super-confident in my abilities. I played by the sword and died by it. Would I have changed some things about my game knowing what success in business has taught me? It's something that I'd consider. But don't get me wrong -- I have zero regrets.

Winning Is About Heart

A lot of people ask how I'd stack up against today's players if I had use of modern equipment. Listen, it's not about the gear. Winning is about what's in your heart and in your head. Equipment dictates how to play the game in an era, but the physical and mental skills are the same. And I had them. I never feared anything or anyone on the course, and I wasn't afraid to fail. So I think I'd do pretty well against Snead, Hogan, Tiger and Phil -- whoever. Tiger's a tough guy, but I was a tough guy on the course, too. I probably would have beat him.

Never Blame Your Tools

The best are always going to be the best, no matter what you chuck in their bag. Send five guys out on Augusta National with hickory-shafted clubs and gutta-percha balls, and the guy with the most talent will always win. Technology allows you to extract certain things from your equipment, but how you extract it is dependent upon your ability to swing the club. Science can only take you so far.

The Secret's in the Shaft

When I was young I read a lot of articles by Ben Hogan. He wrote pages on the stiffness and torque he used in his shafts. I remember thinking, Sh-t! I need to figure this out. I spent a lot of time trying different shafts and, when I found a good match, making sure the spine was set in the same place on every club. I got it right, so I can't figure out why today's pros can't do likewise. Take Rory [McIlory]. It's absurd to say he has gear issues. It's so easy to re-create the same specs and feel from one set to the next. Something else is going on [with him].

Play Within Your Limits

The biggest difference between weekend players and pros? Let's say we're both 100 yards from the pin -- a sand wedge for me and a gap wedge for you. I'll use my pitching wedge and swing at 70 percent. You'll hit your gap wedge at 100 percent. And you'll lose. Weekend players go for broke while pros look for a way to play the minimum.

Play with Precision

When I was playing my best, my caddie, Bruce Edwards, would give me half yardages -- as in, "Greg, you've got 147 and a half yards to the pin." Sounds extreme, but a half-yard is 18 inches, which often means the difference between "good chance" and "no chance" on the ensuing putt. Spend time getting to know your distances and how to be precise with them on the fly. You may not realize it, but the distance you hit the ball changes with the atmosphere. Those humid early-morning rounds? You're going to lose yards. Similarly, the ball will jump when it's hot or dry. Guys can drive it 300 yards today without blinking an eye, but it's still a precision game.

Keep Your Swing Simple

There are a lot of moving parts in the swing, but you can't worry about each and every one. Charlie Earp, my first coach, taught me to always keep the triangle formed by my shoulders and grip in front of my body, from start to finish. If you maintain the triangle as you rotate, everything else falls into place. I've used this tip for 35 years. Hold the triangle, get the club parallel at the top, then let 'er rip (see sequence, below).

Listen to Your Body

The last time you saw me on TV was probably during the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale, where I had the 54-hole lead before finishing third. That wasn't the swing you saw in the 1980s and '90s. My stance is wider now, and I stop my backswing short of parallel. I have to. My body can't take the stress of rotating anymore.

I used to be super-flexible -- I could even do splits. It was the source of my power, but it allowed me to overrotate. I developed so many stress fractures in my spine that I ended up needing surgery. Butch Harmon was the one to get me to widen my stance, which automatically limits rotation. I fought him at first, but then listened to what Mother Nature was telling me. And I darn near won that Open.

Golf places severe pressure on your joints, so you either have to take excellent care of your body or find a swing that isn't so taxing. We get older and more frail. That's life.

Find a Confidence Boost

Success breeds success. I started playing golf at age 16, and by the time I was 21 I was competing in professional events. I knew I was good, but I didn't know how good until the 1976 West Lakes Classic, an Australian Tour event held at the Grange G.C. in Adelaide. I was a complete nobody, and the field had Bruce Devlin, Bruce Crampton, David Graham, and a couple of guys from the PGA Tour. By the end of the third round I had a 10-shot lead. That was it for me. I knew right then and there that I could be great. Everyone needs a shot of confidence, and my victory at the Grange -- the first of 89 pro wins -- was it.

Build a Swing Foundation

I went from novice to scratch in two years. I was lucky in that the things I liked to do before I got into golf, mainly surfing, established foundations for my game. Surfing develops your core, lat muscles and shoulders -- the engines of your swing. Plus it gives you balance. When you're riding a wave your proprioceptors [sensory receptors that detect body position] are firing on all cylinders -- you learn balance very quickly. I've talked about how surfing helps your swing with [pro surfer] Kelly Slater. Kelly loves golf, and we agree that surfing makes you a better player. One moment you're perfectly calm waiting for a wave, and the next you're firing up and dropping in, just like when you're on the tee box getting ready to hit a shot. If you don't surf, try swimming. It works.

Use Strategy, Not Emotion

I was an aggressive golfer, but I always knew the stakes. I got a feel for it during the gambling games I got into while training to be a professional under Charlie Earp at Royal Queensland. I was only 20 at the time, and Charlie was paying me $32 a week, so gambling was a necessary second income. I played against a lot of members. During one match, my partner, Cyril King, and I went down $800 after 16 holes. I didn't have $8 to my name, let alone $800, but I knew No. 17 was a par 5 and 18 was a tough par 4 -- a huge advantage for Cyril and me against our older opponents. We went double or nothing, and actually took home money after I finished eagle-birdie. Had 17 been a short par 3 and 18 a manageable par 4? Who knows if we would have doubled-down? But our decision was strategy-based, not an emotional one. Aggressive for sure, but also smart.

Find Your Happy Place

In 1986 I became the first player to win $1 million in a season. Some of the guys thought it was crazy money, but now you get $1 million for winning the Shriners [the Las Vegas Tour event]. So "crazy" is relative, but the Tour has set things up to let even halfway decent players make a comfy living. That was never my style. I saw endorsements, branding and business opportunities as the real trophies, and you can only get them when you're at the very top. The downside to becoming a brand is that everything I say or do gets scrutinized, and it can either hurt or help your business. So I watch my step and watch what I say. It's tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I love being here [in Colorado]. I can do the things I like most and, well, disappear.

Broaden Your Horizons

I played professionally for seven years before taking my game to the U.S. I was anxious to play on the PGA Tour, but I felt I needed a world view before I could become dominant. So after playing in Australia, I toured in Asia and then Europe. You learn a lot when you're outside the Western world, the most important thing being how different people perceive you based on their culture, religion and ethics. It's a huge influence on the way I am today. The experience was a force that allowed me to succeed in America. It was a long road, so I consider my win at the 1984 Kemper Open as one of the highlights of my career. I had seen the world, won everywhere I went, and now I was doing it in the States. It was the moment I had officially arrived.

Be Open to New Ideas (Even If They're Not Yours)

The abyss of my professional career was my run-in with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem over the World Tour, my idea for an international series of tournaments. It was a beautiful plan and good for golf. I had the support of numerous marquee players, a lucrative TV contract in place, and most important, I had structured it so that the players owned it. I've always believed that if you help build equity in something, you should receive some of the spoils. Unfortunately, Finchem and the media ripped me to shreds. They said I was trying to ruin the game. It got so bad that a lot of PGA club pros who carried Greg Norman Collection [clothes] began canceling their contracts. I was devastated, but I was so sure of the World Tour's promise that I called each one of them to explain my side of the story, because I was never offered the chance to do so with the PGA Tour. It took weeks. I asked each one to hear me out and draw his own conclusions. Everyone kept their contract. My tour never got off the ground, yet three years later the PGA Tour launched the World Golf Championships. I guess they didn't like the fact that it wasn't their idea.

It's poor policy to slay the dreamer just because he or she came up with a better plan. It's so against how I do things. If you came to me with something great that I had never thought of, I'd say, "Are you okay, or do you want help? Should we joint-venture?" If the answer is "no," I'm still going to support you, because your idea is fantastic. It didn't happen that way with Finchem and, honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't do certain things in golf anymore. I haven't played in a PGA-sanctioned event in 18 months. I don't see a reason to support an entity that tried to destroy my dream.

Find a Family Bond

Fostering common interests makes everything easier. Our family likes to do the same things, and I think that's what keeps us strong. We're big scuba people. My daughter, Morgan, is a master diver. We've been all over the world, and having that time with my kids has been huge. You can't sit around the house and do nothing. And it's not just with your children. My wife, Kiki [Kirsten], loves coming to the ranch as much as I do. Our shared interests make us closer.

A caveat: Let your kids find themselves in sport. You can't smother them like I see a lot of parents do. It's okay to be there on the periphery, but kids should develop on their own. They'll resent you if you play too heavy a hand.

Seize the Day

I've recently launched the Great White Shark Opportunity Fund, an asset-based financing company that helps small businesses. I never imagined doing such a thing, but with some of the things going on economically throughout the world, we saw an opportunity. I could have left it alone, but opportunity may not always be there. You have to at least consider ideas when they come across your desk. At the very least, consider the potential.

My first coach, Charlie Earp, had a phrase: "DIN & DIP." It means "Do It Now and Do It Properly," and it's the best piece of advice that's ever been lent to me or that I've passed along. If you have a task, commit to it, get it done, and then move on to the next challenge.

Think Vertically

My goal is to grow my brand on a global basis. I'm a fan of what Ralph Lauren has done with Polo and the horse logo. He built a brand, then pushed it in every direction. Lauren thinks vertically, and that's what I'm trying to do.

My course-design business holds the key. When someone comes to me with millions or even tens of millions of dollars to design a course as part of a real-estate development or resort, I know I can leverage it by, say, stocking the cellars with my wine, the pro shop with Greg Norman Collection clothing, the kitchen with my Greg Norman Australian Prime steaks. They're already investing in the value of my brand, so why not add some scale to it? I think it's a great model, and with 70 designs under my belt, so far so good.

Leave the Right Legacy

I'd like to see my logo live on in perpetuity after my death. That's the greatest compliment you can have. But my real legacy? It's my kids and my family. They're what's important. What I do outside of them—stuff that I enjoy -- is for me.

Be Happy for Others

I know how hard it is to be successful, so I get elated when others experience it. Like when Adam Scott won the Masters. I was so happy for him that I cried. It comes down to, don't be the jealous guy. Remember, things will outlast you. We're only here for a certain amount of time, so it's important to make decisions that are good for everyone around you, not just you.

Be a Mentor

If somebody asks me for help, I'm going to help them. Years ago back in Australia, Adam Scott came to me with a lot of great questions. Deep questions, like, "What's it like when you get to 40?" I don't lock my door to anybody. And now Adam's off and running, but we still stay in contact. When he won at Augusta National, it felt like I had won! Helping someone achieve their own success is just about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Commit to Golf and Life

Golf teaches you about who you are -- how you deal with failure, how you deal with success, how you deal with humility, how you deal with the public. Most people fail in at least a few areas, so you've got to work at it. I certainly had to. If you truly want to succeed at golf, business, life -- any endeavor -- you have to fully commit to it. It's not enough to only want it. The competition is too heavy. And if you're lucky enough to reach the top of whatever you do, then you actually have to work harder, because everyone underneath is gunning for you. Unfortunately, there's no quit.

Brought to you by Synergy Golf Solutions

[4seasonscountryclub]

Greg Norman: All I Know About Winning in Golf, Business and Life

The trek to Greg Norman's getaway in northwest Colorado is a roundabout one. The retreat is tucked away in a remote, evergreen-covered corner of this rugged state, an area so isolated that GPS is little help. An unmarked dirt road runs from the highway to his front door, uncoiling like the rattlesnakes that lurk in the brush. Driving for some 30 minutes, you feel lost. Definitely lost. Then his Rocky Mountain Xanadu appears: a 14,000-square-foot "cabin," two miles of fly-fishing nirvana, and wildlife at every turn. Norman's ranch is as beautiful and seemingly as vast as the snowcapped Rockies that encircle it. It's difficult to fathom how he parlayed "only" 20 PGA Tour wins into this.

Of course, the Shark was chasing much more than just trophies. Like Arnold Palmer before him, Greg Norman oozed charisma, both on and off the course. He bestrode fairways with a swashbuckling, take-no-prisoners (and look good doing it) style that made everyone notice. Prize money? That was chump change. Norman saw a worldwide brand as the ultimate reward, and he has gone on to amass a fortune that has been estimated at $400 million. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Take the well-publicized divorce from his first wife in 2006 that halved his assets (au revoir, $103 million); the heartbreaking near misses in eight majors; his clash with the PGA Tour over his World Tour brainchild, which he calls the low point of his career. But you don't become an icon by surrendering to adversity. "Failure makes you stronger," says Norman, 58, now three years into his third marriage (with interior designer Kirsten Kutner, 45). How strong? Great White Shark Enterprises operates 16 profitable ventures in areas ranging from real-estate development to turf research to prime beef sales. Like his ravenous namesake, the Great White Shark is far from satisfied. He's got big plans. Welcome to the success secrets of a man in full -- the guiding thoughts that helped a kid from Mount Isa, Australia, ascend from a $32-a-week job in a pro shop to the pinnacle of the golf world, and build his brand into a booming international business.

Do Your Homework

I became a good businessman because I was a good golfer. Golf taught me how to practice, formulate a strategy and then execute it -- a due-diligence process that also fuels good business decisions. Some people are naturals at business. I'm not, but I had a great education through golf.

Patience Is Underrated

I signed my first contract with Reebok in 1989. Paul Fireman, Reebok's CEO, had a dream for me, but eventually structured the deal so I could function as my own brand. That was huge. The more independent you can be in life, the better. But since I didn't have a lot of marketing or branding knowledge at the time, I was patient. I didn't go for the quick buck. I focused only on how big it could become. I'm lucky in that I have pretty good long-term vision. Why do I have it? I don't know. But here we are decades later -- and I've only reached 20 percent of what this company is capable of achieving.

I was a different person on the course. I wasn't as patient, because I didn't have to be. I knew everything about the game and was super-confident in my abilities. I played by the sword and died by it. Would I have changed some things about my game knowing what success in business has taught me? It's something that I'd consider. But don't get me wrong -- I have zero regrets.

Winning Is About Heart

A lot of people ask how I'd stack up against today's players if I had use of modern equipment. Listen, it's not about the gear. Winning is about what's in your heart and in your head. Equipment dictates how to play the game in an era, but the physical and mental skills are the same. And I had them. I never feared anything or anyone on the course, and I wasn't afraid to fail. So I think I'd do pretty well against Snead, Hogan, Tiger and Phil -- whoever. Tiger's a tough guy, but I was a tough guy on the course, too. I probably would have beat him.

Never Blame Your Tools

The best are always going to be the best, no matter what you chuck in their bag. Send five guys out on Augusta National with hickory-shafted clubs and gutta-percha balls, and the guy with the most talent will always win. Technology allows you to extract certain things from your equipment, but how you extract it is dependent upon your ability to swing the club. Science can only take you so far.

The Secret's in the Shaft

When I was young I read a lot of articles by Ben Hogan. He wrote pages on the stiffness and torque he used in his shafts. I remember thinking, Sh-t! I need to figure this out. I spent a lot of time trying different shafts and, when I found a good match, making sure the spine was set in the same place on every club. I got it right, so I can't figure out why today's pros can't do likewise. Take Rory [McIlory]. It's absurd to say he has gear issues. It's so easy to re-create the same specs and feel from one set to the next. Something else is going on [with him].

Play Within Your Limits

The biggest difference between weekend players and pros? Let's say we're both 100 yards from the pin -- a sand wedge for me and a gap wedge for you. I'll use my pitching wedge and swing at 70 percent. You'll hit your gap wedge at 100 percent. And you'll lose. Weekend players go for broke while pros look for a way to play the minimum.

Play with Precision

When I was playing my best, my caddie, Bruce Edwards, would give me half yardages -- as in, "Greg, you've got 147 and a half yards to the pin." Sounds extreme, but a half-yard is 18 inches, which often means the difference between "good chance" and "no chance" on the ensuing putt. Spend time getting to know your distances and how to be precise with them on the fly. You may not realize it, but the distance you hit the ball changes with the atmosphere. Those humid early-morning rounds? You're going to lose yards. Similarly, the ball will jump when it's hot or dry. Guys can drive it 300 yards today without blinking an eye, but it's still a precision game.

Keep Your Swing Simple

There are a lot of moving parts in the swing, but you can't worry about each and every one. Charlie Earp, my first coach, taught me to always keep the triangle formed by my shoulders and grip in front of my body, from start to finish. If you maintain the triangle as you rotate, everything else falls into place. I've used this tip for 35 years. Hold the triangle, get the club parallel at the top, then let 'er rip (see sequence, below).

Listen to Your Body

The last time you saw me on TV was probably during the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale, where I had the 54-hole lead before finishing third. That wasn't the swing you saw in the 1980s and '90s. My stance is wider now, and I stop my backswing short of parallel. I have to. My body can't take the stress of rotating anymore.

I used to be super-flexible -- I could even do splits. It was the source of my power, but it allowed me to overrotate. I developed so many stress fractures in my spine that I ended up needing surgery. Butch Harmon was the one to get me to widen my stance, which automatically limits rotation. I fought him at first, but then listened to what Mother Nature was telling me. And I darn near won that Open.

Golf places severe pressure on your joints, so you either have to take excellent care of your body or find a swing that isn't so taxing. We get older and more frail. That's life.

Find a Confidence Boost

Success breeds success. I started playing golf at age 16, and by the time I was 21 I was competing in professional events. I knew I was good, but I didn't know how good until the 1976 West Lakes Classic, an Australian Tour event held at the Grange G.C. in Adelaide. I was a complete nobody, and the field had Bruce Devlin, Bruce Crampton, David Graham, and a couple of guys from the PGA Tour. By the end of the third round I had a 10-shot lead. That was it for me. I knew right then and there that I could be great. Everyone needs a shot of confidence, and my victory at the Grange -- the first of 89 pro wins -- was it.

Build a Swing Foundation

I went from novice to scratch in two years. I was lucky in that the things I liked to do before I got into golf, mainly surfing, established foundations for my game. Surfing develops your core, lat muscles and shoulders -- the engines of your swing. Plus it gives you balance. When you're riding a wave your proprioceptors [sensory receptors that detect body position] are firing on all cylinders -- you learn balance very quickly. I've talked about how surfing helps your swing with [pro surfer] Kelly Slater. Kelly loves golf, and we agree that surfing makes you a better player. One moment you're perfectly calm waiting for a wave, and the next you're firing up and dropping in, just like when you're on the tee box getting ready to hit a shot. If you don't surf, try swimming. It works.

Use Strategy, Not Emotion

I was an aggressive golfer, but I always knew the stakes. I got a feel for it during the gambling games I got into while training to be a professional under Charlie Earp at Royal Queensland. I was only 20 at the time, and Charlie was paying me $32 a week, so gambling was a necessary second income. I played against a lot of members. During one match, my partner, Cyril King, and I went down $800 after 16 holes. I didn't have $8 to my name, let alone $800, but I knew No. 17 was a par 5 and 18 was a tough par 4 -- a huge advantage for Cyril and me against our older opponents. We went double or nothing, and actually took home money after I finished eagle-birdie. Had 17 been a short par 3 and 18 a manageable par 4? Who knows if we would have doubled-down? But our decision was strategy-based, not an emotional one. Aggressive for sure, but also smart.

Find Your Happy Place

In 1986 I became the first player to win $1 million in a season. Some of the guys thought it was crazy money, but now you get $1 million for winning the Shriners [the Las Vegas Tour event]. So "crazy" is relative, but the Tour has set things up to let even halfway decent players make a comfy living. That was never my style. I saw endorsements, branding and business opportunities as the real trophies, and you can only get them when you're at the very top. The downside to becoming a brand is that everything I say or do gets scrutinized, and it can either hurt or help your business. So I watch my step and watch what I say. It's tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I love being here [in Colorado]. I can do the things I like most and, well, disappear.

Broaden Your Horizons

I played professionally for seven years before taking my game to the U.S. I was anxious to play on the PGA Tour, but I felt I needed a world view before I could become dominant. So after playing in Australia, I toured in Asia and then Europe. You learn a lot when you're outside the Western world, the most important thing being how different people perceive you based on their culture, religion and ethics. It's a huge influence on the way I am today. The experience was a force that allowed me to succeed in America. It was a long road, so I consider my win at the 1984 Kemper Open as one of the highlights of my career. I had seen the world, won everywhere I went, and now I was doing it in the States. It was the moment I had officially arrived.

Be Open to New Ideas (Even If They're Not Yours)

The abyss of my professional career was my run-in with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem over the World Tour, my idea for an international series of tournaments. It was a beautiful plan and good for golf. I had the support of numerous marquee players, a lucrative TV contract in place, and most important, I had structured it so that the players owned it. I've always believed that if you help build equity in something, you should receive some of the spoils. Unfortunately, Finchem and the media ripped me to shreds. They said I was trying to ruin the game. It got so bad that a lot of PGA club pros who carried Greg Norman Collection [clothes] began canceling their contracts. I was devastated, but I was so sure of the World Tour's promise that I called each one of them to explain my side of the story, because I was never offered the chance to do so with the PGA Tour. It took weeks. I asked each one to hear me out and draw his own conclusions. Everyone kept their contract. My tour never got off the ground, yet three years later the PGA Tour launched the World Golf Championships. I guess they didn't like the fact that it wasn't their idea.

It's poor policy to slay the dreamer just because he or she came up with a better plan. It's so against how I do things. If you came to me with something great that I had never thought of, I'd say, "Are you okay, or do you want help? Should we joint-venture?" If the answer is "no," I'm still going to support you, because your idea is fantastic. It didn't happen that way with Finchem and, honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't do certain things in golf anymore. I haven't played in a PGA-sanctioned event in 18 months. I don't see a reason to support an entity that tried to destroy my dream.

Find a Family Bond

Fostering common interests makes everything easier. Our family likes to do the same things, and I think that's what keeps us strong. We're big scuba people. My daughter, Morgan, is a master diver. We've been all over the world, and having that time with my kids has been huge. You can't sit around the house and do nothing. And it's not just with your children. My wife, Kiki [Kirsten], loves coming to the ranch as much as I do. Our shared interests make us closer.

A caveat: Let your kids find themselves in sport. You can't smother them like I see a lot of parents do. It's okay to be there on the periphery, but kids should develop on their own. They'll resent you if you play too heavy a hand.

Seize the Day

I've recently launched the Great White Shark Opportunity Fund, an asset-based financing company that helps small businesses. I never imagined doing such a thing, but with some of the things going on economically throughout the world, we saw an opportunity. I could have left it alone, but opportunity may not always be there. You have to at least consider ideas when they come across your desk. At the very least, consider the potential.

My first coach, Charlie Earp, had a phrase: "DIN & DIP." It means "Do It Now and Do It Properly," and it's the best piece of advice that's ever been lent to me or that I've passed along. If you have a task, commit to it, get it done, and then move on to the next challenge.

Think Vertically

My goal is to grow my brand on a global basis. I'm a fan of what Ralph Lauren has done with Polo and the horse logo. He built a brand, then pushed it in every direction. Lauren thinks vertically, and that's what I'm trying to do.

My course-design business holds the key. When someone comes to me with millions or even tens of millions of dollars to design a course as part of a real-estate development or resort, I know I can leverage it by, say, stocking the cellars with my wine, the pro shop with Greg Norman Collection clothing, the kitchen with my Greg Norman Australian Prime steaks. They're already investing in the value of my brand, so why not add some scale to it? I think it's a great model, and with 70 designs under my belt, so far so good.

Leave the Right Legacy

I'd like to see my logo live on in perpetuity after my death. That's the greatest compliment you can have. But my real legacy? It's my kids and my family. They're what's important. What I do outside of them—stuff that I enjoy -- is for me.

Be Happy for Others

I know how hard it is to be successful, so I get elated when others experience it. Like when Adam Scott won the Masters. I was so happy for him that I cried. It comes down to, don't be the jealous guy. Remember, things will outlast you. We're only here for a certain amount of time, so it's important to make decisions that are good for everyone around you, not just you.

Be a Mentor

If somebody asks me for help, I'm going to help them. Years ago back in Australia, Adam Scott came to me with a lot of great questions. Deep questions, like, "What's it like when you get to 40?" I don't lock my door to anybody. And now Adam's off and running, but we still stay in contact. When he won at Augusta National, it felt like I had won! Helping someone achieve their own success is just about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Commit to Golf and Life

Golf teaches you about who you are -- how you deal with failure, how you deal with success, how you deal with humility, how you deal with the public. Most people fail in at least a few areas, so you've got to work at it. I certainly had to. If you truly want to succeed at golf, business, life -- any endeavor -- you have to fully commit to it. It's not enough to only want it. The competition is too heavy. And if you're lucky enough to reach the top of whatever you do, then you actually have to work harder, because everyone underneath is gunning for you. Unfortunately, there's no quit.

Brought to you by4 seasons Country Club

[hamiltongolfcourses]

Greg Norman: All I Know About Winning in Golf, Business and Life

The trek to Greg Norman's getaway in northwest Colorado is a roundabout one. The retreat is tucked away in a remote, evergreen-covered corner of this rugged state, an area so isolated that GPS is little help. An unmarked dirt road runs from the highway to his front door, uncoiling like the rattlesnakes that lurk in the brush. Driving for some 30 minutes, you feel lost. Definitely lost. Then his Rocky Mountain Xanadu appears: a 14,000-square-foot "cabin," two miles of fly-fishing nirvana, and wildlife at every turn. Norman's ranch is as beautiful and seemingly as vast as the snowcapped Rockies that encircle it. It's difficult to fathom how he parlayed "only" 20 PGA Tour wins into this.

Of course, the Shark was chasing much more than just trophies. Like Arnold Palmer before him, Greg Norman oozed charisma, both on and off the course. He bestrode fairways with a swashbuckling, take-no-prisoners (and look good doing it) style that made everyone notice. Prize money? That was chump change. Norman saw a worldwide brand as the ultimate reward, and he has gone on to amass a fortune that has been estimated at $400 million. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Take the well-publicized divorce from his first wife in 2006 that halved his assets (au revoir, $103 million); the heartbreaking near misses in eight majors; his clash with the PGA Tour over his World Tour brainchild, which he calls the low point of his career. But you don't become an icon by surrendering to adversity. "Failure makes you stronger," says Norman, 58, now three years into his third marriage (with interior designer Kirsten Kutner, 45). How strong? Great White Shark Enterprises operates 16 profitable ventures in areas ranging from real-estate development to turf research to prime beef sales. Like his ravenous namesake, the Great White Shark is far from satisfied. He's got big plans. Welcome to the success secrets of a man in full -- the guiding thoughts that helped a kid from Mount Isa, Australia, ascend from a $32-a-week job in a pro shop to the pinnacle of the golf world, and build his brand into a booming international business.

Do Your Homework

I became a good businessman because I was a good golfer. Golf taught me how to practice, formulate a strategy and then execute it -- a due-diligence process that also fuels good business decisions. Some people are naturals at business. I'm not, but I had a great education through golf.

Patience Is Underrated

I signed my first contract with Reebok in 1989. Paul Fireman, Reebok's CEO, had a dream for me, but eventually structured the deal so I could function as my own brand. That was huge. The more independent you can be in life, the better. But since I didn't have a lot of marketing or branding knowledge at the time, I was patient. I didn't go for the quick buck. I focused only on how big it could become. I'm lucky in that I have pretty good long-term vision. Why do I have it? I don't know. But here we are decades later -- and I've only reached 20 percent of what this company is capable of achieving.

I was a different person on the course. I wasn't as patient, because I didn't have to be. I knew everything about the game and was super-confident in my abilities. I played by the sword and died by it. Would I have changed some things about my game knowing what success in business has taught me? It's something that I'd consider. But don't get me wrong -- I have zero regrets.

Winning Is About Heart

A lot of people ask how I'd stack up against today's players if I had use of modern equipment. Listen, it's not about the gear. Winning is about what's in your heart and in your head. Equipment dictates how to play the game in an era, but the physical and mental skills are the same. And I had them. I never feared anything or anyone on the course, and I wasn't afraid to fail. So I think I'd do pretty well against Snead, Hogan, Tiger and Phil -- whoever. Tiger's a tough guy, but I was a tough guy on the course, too. I probably would have beat him.

Never Blame Your Tools

The best are always going to be the best, no matter what you chuck in their bag. Send five guys out on Augusta National with hickory-shafted clubs and gutta-percha balls, and the guy with the most talent will always win. Technology allows you to extract certain things from your equipment, but how you extract it is dependent upon your ability to swing the club. Science can only take you so far.

The Secret's in the Shaft

When I was young I read a lot of articles by Ben Hogan. He wrote pages on the stiffness and torque he used in his shafts. I remember thinking, Sh-t! I need to figure this out. I spent a lot of time trying different shafts and, when I found a good match, making sure the spine was set in the same place on every club. I got it right, so I can't figure out why today's pros can't do likewise. Take Rory [McIlory]. It's absurd to say he has gear issues. It's so easy to re-create the same specs and feel from one set to the next. Something else is going on [with him].

Play Within Your Limits

The biggest difference between weekend players and pros? Let's say we're both 100 yards from the pin -- a sand wedge for me and a gap wedge for you. I'll use my pitching wedge and swing at 70 percent. You'll hit your gap wedge at 100 percent. And you'll lose. Weekend players go for broke while pros look for a way to play the minimum.

Play with Precision

When I was playing my best, my caddie, Bruce Edwards, would give me half yardages -- as in, "Greg, you've got 147 and a half yards to the pin." Sounds extreme, but a half-yard is 18 inches, which often means the difference between "good chance" and "no chance" on the ensuing putt. Spend time getting to know your distances and how to be precise with them on the fly. You may not realize it, but the distance you hit the ball changes with the atmosphere. Those humid early-morning rounds? You're going to lose yards. Similarly, the ball will jump when it's hot or dry. Guys can drive it 300 yards today without blinking an eye, but it's still a precision game.

Keep Your Swing Simple

There are a lot of moving parts in the swing, but you can't worry about each and every one. Charlie Earp, my first coach, taught me to always keep the triangle formed by my shoulders and grip in front of my body, from start to finish. If you maintain the triangle as you rotate, everything else falls into place. I've used this tip for 35 years. Hold the triangle, get the club parallel at the top, then let 'er rip (see sequence, below).

Listen to Your Body

The last time you saw me on TV was probably during the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale, where I had the 54-hole lead before finishing third. That wasn't the swing you saw in the 1980s and '90s. My stance is wider now, and I stop my backswing short of parallel. I have to. My body can't take the stress of rotating anymore.

I used to be super-flexible -- I could even do splits. It was the source of my power, but it allowed me to overrotate. I developed so many stress fractures in my spine that I ended up needing surgery. Butch Harmon was the one to get me to widen my stance, which automatically limits rotation. I fought him at first, but then listened to what Mother Nature was telling me. And I darn near won that Open.

Golf places severe pressure on your joints, so you either have to take excellent care of your body or find a swing that isn't so taxing. We get older and more frail. That's life.

Find a Confidence Boost

Success breeds success. I started playing golf at age 16, and by the time I was 21 I was competing in professional events. I knew I was good, but I didn't know how good until the 1976 West Lakes Classic, an Australian Tour event held at the Grange G.C. in Adelaide. I was a complete nobody, and the field had Bruce Devlin, Bruce Crampton, David Graham, and a couple of guys from the PGA Tour. By the end of the third round I had a 10-shot lead. That was it for me. I knew right then and there that I could be great. Everyone needs a shot of confidence, and my victory at the Grange -- the first of 89 pro wins -- was it.

Build a Swing Foundation

I went from novice to scratch in two years. I was lucky in that the things I liked to do before I got into golf, mainly surfing, established foundations for my game. Surfing develops your core, lat muscles and shoulders -- the engines of your swing. Plus it gives you balance. When you're riding a wave your proprioceptors [sensory receptors that detect body position] are firing on all cylinders -- you learn balance very quickly. I've talked about how surfing helps your swing with [pro surfer] Kelly Slater. Kelly loves golf, and we agree that surfing makes you a better player. One moment you're perfectly calm waiting for a wave, and the next you're firing up and dropping in, just like when you're on the tee box getting ready to hit a shot. If you don't surf, try swimming. It works.

Use Strategy, Not Emotion

I was an aggressive golfer, but I always knew the stakes. I got a feel for it during the gambling games I got into while training to be a professional under Charlie Earp at Royal Queensland. I was only 20 at the time, and Charlie was paying me $32 a week, so gambling was a necessary second income. I played against a lot of members. During one match, my partner, Cyril King, and I went down $800 after 16 holes. I didn't have $8 to my name, let alone $800, but I knew No. 17 was a par 5 and 18 was a tough par 4 -- a huge advantage for Cyril and me against our older opponents. We went double or nothing, and actually took home money after I finished eagle-birdie. Had 17 been a short par 3 and 18 a manageable par 4? Who knows if we would have doubled-down? But our decision was strategy-based, not an emotional one. Aggressive for sure, but also smart.

Find Your Happy Place

In 1986 I became the first player to win $1 million in a season. Some of the guys thought it was crazy money, but now you get $1 million for winning the Shriners [the Las Vegas Tour event]. So "crazy" is relative, but the Tour has set things up to let even halfway decent players make a comfy living. That was never my style. I saw endorsements, branding and business opportunities as the real trophies, and you can only get them when you're at the very top. The downside to becoming a brand is that everything I say or do gets scrutinized, and it can either hurt or help your business. So I watch my step and watch what I say. It's tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I love being here [in Colorado]. I can do the things I like most and, well, disappear.

Broaden Your Horizons

I played professionally for seven years before taking my game to the U.S. I was anxious to play on the PGA Tour, but I felt I needed a world view before I could become dominant. So after playing in Australia, I toured in Asia and then Europe. You learn a lot when you're outside the Western world, the most important thing being how different people perceive you based on their culture, religion and ethics. It's a huge influence on the way I am today. The experience was a force that allowed me to succeed in America. It was a long road, so I consider my win at the 1984 Kemper Open as one of the highlights of my career. I had seen the world, won everywhere I went, and now I was doing it in the States. It was the moment I had officially arrived.

Be Open to New Ideas (Even If They're Not Yours)

The abyss of my professional career was my run-in with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem over the World Tour, my idea for an international series of tournaments. It was a beautiful plan and good for golf. I had the support of numerous marquee players, a lucrative TV contract in place, and most important, I had structured it so that the players owned it. I've always believed that if you help build equity in something, you should receive some of the spoils. Unfortunately, Finchem and the media ripped me to shreds. They said I was trying to ruin the game. It got so bad that a lot of PGA club pros who carried Greg Norman Collection [clothes] began canceling their contracts. I was devastated, but I was so sure of the World Tour's promise that I called each one of them to explain my side of the story, because I was never offered the chance to do so with the PGA Tour. It took weeks. I asked each one to hear me out and draw his own conclusions. Everyone kept their contract. My tour never got off the ground, yet three years later the PGA Tour launched the World Golf Championships. I guess they didn't like the fact that it wasn't their idea.

It's poor policy to slay the dreamer just because he or she came up with a better plan. It's so against how I do things. If you came to me with something great that I had never thought of, I'd say, "Are you okay, or do you want help? Should we joint-venture?" If the answer is "no," I'm still going to support you, because your idea is fantastic. It didn't happen that way with Finchem and, honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't do certain things in golf anymore. I haven't played in a PGA-sanctioned event in 18 months. I don't see a reason to support an entity that tried to destroy my dream.

Find a Family Bond

Fostering common interests makes everything easier. Our family likes to do the same things, and I think that's what keeps us strong. We're big scuba people. My daughter, Morgan, is a master diver. We've been all over the world, and having that time with my kids has been huge. You can't sit around the house and do nothing. And it's not just with your children. My wife, Kiki [Kirsten], loves coming to the ranch as much as I do. Our shared interests make us closer.

A caveat: Let your kids find themselves in sport. You can't smother them like I see a lot of parents do. It's okay to be there on the periphery, but kids should develop on their own. They'll resent you if you play too heavy a hand.

Seize the Day

I've recently launched the Great White Shark Opportunity Fund, an asset-based financing company that helps small businesses. I never imagined doing such a thing, but with some of the things going on economically throughout the world, we saw an opportunity. I could have left it alone, but opportunity may not always be there. You have to at least consider ideas when they come across your desk. At the very least, consider the potential.

My first coach, Charlie Earp, had a phrase: "DIN & DIP." It means "Do It Now and Do It Properly," and it's the best piece of advice that's ever been lent to me or that I've passed along. If you have a task, commit to it, get it done, and then move on to the next challenge.

Think Vertically

My goal is to grow my brand on a global basis. I'm a fan of what Ralph Lauren has done with Polo and the horse logo. He built a brand, then pushed it in every direction. Lauren thinks vertically, and that's what I'm trying to do.

My course-design business holds the key. When someone comes to me with millions or even tens of millions of dollars to design a course as part of a real-estate development or resort, I know I can leverage it by, say, stocking the cellars with my wine, the pro shop with Greg Norman Collection clothing, the kitchen with my Greg Norman Australian Prime steaks. They're already investing in the value of my brand, so why not add some scale to it? I think it's a great model, and with 70 designs under my belt, so far so good.

Leave the Right Legacy

I'd like to see my logo live on in perpetuity after my death. That's the greatest compliment you can have. But my real legacy? It's my kids and my family. They're what's important. What I do outside of them—stuff that I enjoy -- is for me.

Be Happy for Others

I know how hard it is to be successful, so I get elated when others experience it. Like when Adam Scott won the Masters. I was so happy for him that I cried. It comes down to, don't be the jealous guy. Remember, things will outlast you. We're only here for a certain amount of time, so it's important to make decisions that are good for everyone around you, not just you.

Be a Mentor

If somebody asks me for help, I'm going to help them. Years ago back in Australia, Adam Scott came to me with a lot of great questions. Deep questions, like, "What's it like when you get to 40?" I don't lock my door to anybody. And now Adam's off and running, but we still stay in contact. When he won at Augusta National, it felt like I had won! Helping someone achieve their own success is just about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Commit to Golf and Life

Golf teaches you about who you are -- how you deal with failure, how you deal with success, how you deal with humility, how you deal with the public. Most people fail in at least a few areas, so you've got to work at it. I certainly had to. If you truly want to succeed at golf, business, life -- any endeavor -- you have to fully commit to it. It's not enough to only want it. The competition is too heavy. And if you're lucky enough to reach the top of whatever you do, then you actually have to work harder, because everyone underneath is gunning for you. Unfortunately, there's no quit.

Brought to you by Southern Pines Golf & CC

[elmiragc]

Greg Norman: All I Know About Winning in Golf, Business and Life

The trek to Greg Norman's getaway in northwest Colorado is a roundabout one. The retreat is tucked away in a remote, evergreen-covered corner of this rugged state, an area so isolated that GPS is little help. An unmarked dirt road runs from the highway to his front door, uncoiling like the rattlesnakes that lurk in the brush. Driving for some 30 minutes, you feel lost. Definitely lost. Then his Rocky Mountain Xanadu appears: a 14,000-square-foot "cabin," two miles of fly-fishing nirvana, and wildlife at every turn. Norman's ranch is as beautiful and seemingly as vast as the snowcapped Rockies that encircle it. It's difficult to fathom how he parlayed "only" 20 PGA Tour wins into this.

Of course, the Shark was chasing much more than just trophies. Like Arnold Palmer before him, Greg Norman oozed charisma, both on and off the course. He bestrode fairways with a swashbuckling, take-no-prisoners (and look good doing it) style that made everyone notice. Prize money? That was chump change. Norman saw a worldwide brand as the ultimate reward, and he has gone on to amass a fortune that has been estimated at $400 million. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Take the well-publicized divorce from his first wife in 2006 that halved his assets (au revoir, $103 million); the heartbreaking near misses in eight majors; his clash with the PGA Tour over his World Tour brainchild, which he calls the low point of his career. But you don't become an icon by surrendering to adversity. "Failure makes you stronger," says Norman, 58, now three years into his third marriage (with interior designer Kirsten Kutner, 45). How strong? Great White Shark Enterprises operates 16 profitable ventures in areas ranging from real-estate development to turf research to prime beef sales. Like his ravenous namesake, the Great White Shark is far from satisfied. He's got big plans. Welcome to the success secrets of a man in full -- the guiding thoughts that helped a kid from Mount Isa, Australia, ascend from a $32-a-week job in a pro shop to the pinnacle of the golf world, and build his brand into a booming international business.

Do Your Homework

I became a good businessman because I was a good golfer. Golf taught me how to practice, formulate a strategy and then execute it -- a due-diligence process that also fuels good business decisions. Some people are naturals at business. I'm not, but I had a great education through golf.

Patience Is Underrated

I signed my first contract with Reebok in 1989. Paul Fireman, Reebok's CEO, had a dream for me, but eventually structured the deal so I could function as my own brand. That was huge. The more independent you can be in life, the better. But since I didn't have a lot of marketing or branding knowledge at the time, I was patient. I didn't go for the quick buck. I focused only on how big it could become. I'm lucky in that I have pretty good long-term vision. Why do I have it? I don't know. But here we are decades later -- and I've only reached 20 percent of what this company is capable of achieving.

I was a different person on the course. I wasn't as patient, because I didn't have to be. I knew everything about the game and was super-confident in my abilities. I played by the sword and died by it. Would I have changed some things about my game knowing what success in business has taught me? It's something that I'd consider. But don't get me wrong -- I have zero regrets.

Winning Is About Heart

A lot of people ask how I'd stack up against today's players if I had use of modern equipment. Listen, it's not about the gear. Winning is about what's in your heart and in your head. Equipment dictates how to play the game in an era, but the physical and mental skills are the same. And I had them. I never feared anything or anyone on the course, and I wasn't afraid to fail. So I think I'd do pretty well against Snead, Hogan, Tiger and Phil -- whoever. Tiger's a tough guy, but I was a tough guy on the course, too. I probably would have beat him.

Never Blame Your Tools

The best are always going to be the best, no matter what you chuck in their bag. Send five guys out on Augusta National with hickory-shafted clubs and gutta-percha balls, and the guy with the most talent will always win. Technology allows you to extract certain things from your equipment, but how you extract it is dependent upon your ability to swing the club. Science can only take you so far.

The Secret's in the Shaft

When I was young I read a lot of articles by Ben Hogan. He wrote pages on the stiffness and torque he used in his shafts. I remember thinking, Sh-t! I need to figure this out. I spent a lot of time trying different shafts and, when I found a good match, making sure the spine was set in the same place on every club. I got it right, so I can't figure out why today's pros can't do likewise. Take Rory [McIlory]. It's absurd to say he has gear issues. It's so easy to re-create the same specs and feel from one set to the next. Something else is going on [with him].

Play Within Your Limits

The biggest difference between weekend players and pros? Let's say we're both 100 yards from the pin -- a sand wedge for me and a gap wedge for you. I'll use my pitching wedge and swing at 70 percent. You'll hit your gap wedge at 100 percent. And you'll lose. Weekend players go for broke while pros look for a way to play the minimum.

Play with Precision

When I was playing my best, my caddie, Bruce Edwards, would give me half yardages -- as in, "Greg, you've got 147 and a half yards to the pin." Sounds extreme, but a half-yard is 18 inches, which often means the difference between "good chance" and "no chance" on the ensuing putt. Spend time getting to know your distances and how to be precise with them on the fly. You may not realize it, but the distance you hit the ball changes with the atmosphere. Those humid early-morning rounds? You're going to lose yards. Similarly, the ball will jump when it's hot or dry. Guys can drive it 300 yards today without blinking an eye, but it's still a precision game.

Keep Your Swing Simple

There are a lot of moving parts in the swing, but you can't worry about each and every one. Charlie Earp, my first coach, taught me to always keep the triangle formed by my shoulders and grip in front of my body, from start to finish. If you maintain the triangle as you rotate, everything else falls into place. I've used this tip for 35 years. Hold the triangle, get the club parallel at the top, then let 'er rip (see sequence, below).

Listen to Your Body

The last time you saw me on TV was probably during the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale, where I had the 54-hole lead before finishing third. That wasn't the swing you saw in the 1980s and '90s. My stance is wider now, and I stop my backswing short of parallel. I have to. My body can't take the stress of rotating anymore.

I used to be super-flexible -- I could even do splits. It was the source of my power, but it allowed me to overrotate. I developed so many stress fractures in my spine that I ended up needing surgery. Butch Harmon was the one to get me to widen my stance, which automatically limits rotation. I fought him at first, but then listened to what Mother Nature was telling me. And I darn near won that Open.

Golf places severe pressure on your joints, so you either have to take excellent care of your body or find a swing that isn't so taxing. We get older and more frail. That's life.

Find a Confidence Boost

Success breeds success. I started playing golf at age 16, and by the time I was 21 I was competing in professional events. I knew I was good, but I didn't know how good until the 1976 West Lakes Classic, an Australian Tour event held at the Grange G.C. in Adelaide. I was a complete nobody, and the field had Bruce Devlin, Bruce Crampton, David Graham, and a couple of guys from the PGA Tour. By the end of the third round I had a 10-shot lead. That was it for me. I knew right then and there that I could be great. Everyone needs a shot of confidence, and my victory at the Grange -- the first of 89 pro wins -- was it.

Build a Swing Foundation

I went from novice to scratch in two years. I was lucky in that the things I liked to do before I got into golf, mainly surfing, established foundations for my game. Surfing develops your core, lat muscles and shoulders -- the engines of your swing. Plus it gives you balance. When you're riding a wave your proprioceptors [sensory receptors that detect body position] are firing on all cylinders -- you learn balance very quickly. I've talked about how surfing helps your swing with [pro surfer] Kelly Slater. Kelly loves golf, and we agree that surfing makes you a better player. One moment you're perfectly calm waiting for a wave, and the next you're firing up and dropping in, just like when you're on the tee box getting ready to hit a shot. If you don't surf, try swimming. It works.

Use Strategy, Not Emotion

I was an aggressive golfer, but I always knew the stakes. I got a feel for it during the gambling games I got into while training to be a professional under Charlie Earp at Royal Queensland. I was only 20 at the time, and Charlie was paying me $32 a week, so gambling was a necessary second income. I played against a lot of members. During one match, my partner, Cyril King, and I went down $800 after 16 holes. I didn't have $8 to my name, let alone $800, but I knew No. 17 was a par 5 and 18 was a tough par 4 -- a huge advantage for Cyril and me against our older opponents. We went double or nothing, and actually took home money after I finished eagle-birdie. Had 17 been a short par 3 and 18 a manageable par 4? Who knows if we would have doubled-down? But our decision was strategy-based, not an emotional one. Aggressive for sure, but also smart.

Find Your Happy Place

In 1986 I became the first player to win $1 million in a season. Some of the guys thought it was crazy money, but now you get $1 million for winning the Shriners [the Las Vegas Tour event]. So "crazy" is relative, but the Tour has set things up to let even halfway decent players make a comfy living. That was never my style. I saw endorsements, branding and business opportunities as the real trophies, and you can only get them when you're at the very top. The downside to becoming a brand is that everything I say or do gets scrutinized, and it can either hurt or help your business. So I watch my step and watch what I say. It's tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I love being here [in Colorado]. I can do the things I like most and, well, disappear.

Broaden Your Horizons

I played professionally for seven years before taking my game to the U.S. I was anxious to play on the PGA Tour, but I felt I needed a world view before I could become dominant. So after playing in Australia, I toured in Asia and then Europe. You learn a lot when you're outside the Western world, the most important thing being how different people perceive you based on their culture, religion and ethics. It's a huge influence on the way I am today. The experience was a force that allowed me to succeed in America. It was a long road, so I consider my win at the 1984 Kemper Open as one of the highlights of my career. I had seen the world, won everywhere I went, and now I was doing it in the States. It was the moment I had officially arrived.

Be Open to New Ideas (Even If They're Not Yours)

The abyss of my professional career was my run-in with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem over the World Tour, my idea for an international series of tournaments. It was a beautiful plan and good for golf. I had the support of numerous marquee players, a lucrative TV contract in place, and most important, I had structured it so that the players owned it. I've always believed that if you help build equity in something, you should receive some of the spoils. Unfortunately, Finchem and the media ripped me to shreds. They said I was trying to ruin the game. It got so bad that a lot of PGA club pros who carried Greg Norman Collection [clothes] began canceling their contracts. I was devastated, but I was so sure of the World Tour's promise that I called each one of them to explain my side of the story, because I was never offered the chance to do so with the PGA Tour. It took weeks. I asked each one to hear me out and draw his own conclusions. Everyone kept their contract. My tour never got off the ground, yet three years later the PGA Tour launched the World Golf Championships. I guess they didn't like the fact that it wasn't their idea.

It's poor policy to slay the dreamer just because he or she came up with a better plan. It's so against how I do things. If you came to me with something great that I had never thought of, I'd say, "Are you okay, or do you want help? Should we joint-venture?" If the answer is "no," I'm still going to support you, because your idea is fantastic. It didn't happen that way with Finchem and, honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't do certain things in golf anymore. I haven't played in a PGA-sanctioned event in 18 months. I don't see a reason to support an entity that tried to destroy my dream.

Find a Family Bond

Fostering common interests makes everything easier. Our family likes to do the same things, and I think that's what keeps us strong. We're big scuba people. My daughter, Morgan, is a master diver. We've been all over the world, and having that time with my kids has been huge. You can't sit around the house and do nothing. And it's not just with your children. My wife, Kiki [Kirsten], loves coming to the ranch as much as I do. Our shared interests make us closer.

A caveat: Let your kids find themselves in sport. You can't smother them like I see a lot of parents do. It's okay to be there on the periphery, but kids should develop on their own. They'll resent you if you play too heavy a hand.

Seize the Day

I've recently launched the Great White Shark Opportunity Fund, an asset-based financing company that helps small businesses. I never imagined doing such a thing, but with some of the things going on economically throughout the world, we saw an opportunity. I could have left it alone, but opportunity may not always be there. You have to at least consider ideas when they come across your desk. At the very least, consider the potential.

My first coach, Charlie Earp, had a phrase: "DIN & DIP." It means "Do It Now and Do It Properly," and it's the best piece of advice that's ever been lent to me or that I've passed along. If you have a task, commit to it, get it done, and then move on to the next challenge.

Think Vertically

My goal is to grow my brand on a global basis. I'm a fan of what Ralph Lauren has done with Polo and the horse logo. He built a brand, then pushed it in every direction. Lauren thinks vertically, and that's what I'm trying to do.

My course-design business holds the key. When someone comes to me with millions or even tens of millions of dollars to design a course as part of a real-estate development or resort, I know I can leverage it by, say, stocking the cellars with my wine, the pro shop with Greg Norman Collection clothing, the kitchen with my Greg Norman Australian Prime steaks. They're already investing in the value of my brand, so why not add some scale to it? I think it's a great model, and with 70 designs under my belt, so far so good.

Leave the Right Legacy

I'd like to see my logo live on in perpetuity after my death. That's the greatest compliment you can have. But my real legacy? It's my kids and my family. They're what's important. What I do outside of them—stuff that I enjoy -- is for me.

Be Happy for Others

I know how hard it is to be successful, so I get elated when others experience it. Like when Adam Scott won the Masters. I was so happy for him that I cried. It comes down to, don't be the jealous guy. Remember, things will outlast you. We're only here for a certain amount of time, so it's important to make decisions that are good for everyone around you, not just you.

Be a Mentor

If somebody asks me for help, I'm going to help them. Years ago back in Australia, Adam Scott came to me with a lot of great questions. Deep questions, like, "What's it like when you get to 40?" I don't lock my door to anybody. And now Adam's off and running, but we still stay in contact. When he won at Augusta National, it felt like I had won! Helping someone achieve their own success is just about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Commit to Golf and Life

Golf teaches you about who you are -- how you deal with failure, how you deal with success, how you deal with humility, how you deal with the public. Most people fail in at least a few areas, so you've got to work at it. I certainly had to. If you truly want to succeed at golf, business, life -- any endeavor -- you have to fully commit to it. It's not enough to only want it. The competition is too heavy. And if you're lucky enough to reach the top of whatever you do, then you actually have to work harder, because everyone underneath is gunning for you. Unfortunately, there's no quit.

Brought to you by Elmira Golf Club

[lowvillegolfclub]

Greg Norman: All I Know About Winning in Golf, Business and Life

The trek to Greg Norman's getaway in northwest Colorado is a roundabout one. The retreat is tucked away in a remote, evergreen-covered corner of this rugged state, an area so isolated that GPS is little help. An unmarked dirt road runs from the highway to his front door, uncoiling like the rattlesnakes that lurk in the brush. Driving for some 30 minutes, you feel lost. Definitely lost. Then his Rocky Mountain Xanadu appears: a 14,000-square-foot "cabin," two miles of fly-fishing nirvana, and wildlife at every turn. Norman's ranch is as beautiful and seemingly as vast as the snowcapped Rockies that encircle it. It's difficult to fathom how he parlayed "only" 20 PGA Tour wins into this.

Of course, the Shark was chasing much more than just trophies. Like Arnold Palmer before him, Greg Norman oozed charisma, both on and off the course. He bestrode fairways with a swashbuckling, take-no-prisoners (and look good doing it) style that made everyone notice. Prize money? That was chump change. Norman saw a worldwide brand as the ultimate reward, and he has gone on to amass a fortune that has been estimated at $400 million. Sure, there were bumps along the road. Take the well-publicized divorce from his first wife in 2006 that halved his assets (au revoir, $103 million); the heartbreaking near misses in eight majors; his clash with the PGA Tour over his World Tour brainchild, which he calls the low point of his career. But you don't become an icon by surrendering to adversity. "Failure makes you stronger," says Norman, 58, now three years into his third marriage (with interior designer Kirsten Kutner, 45). How strong? Great White Shark Enterprises operates 16 profitable ventures in areas ranging from real-estate development to turf research to prime beef sales. Like his ravenous namesake, the Great White Shark is far from satisfied. He's got big plans. Welcome to the success secrets of a man in full -- the guiding thoughts that helped a kid from Mount Isa, Australia, ascend from a $32-a-week job in a pro shop to the pinnacle of the golf world, and build his brand into a booming international business.

Do Your Homework

I became a good businessman because I was a good golfer. Golf taught me how to practice, formulate a strategy and then execute it -- a due-diligence process that also fuels good business decisions. Some people are naturals at business. I'm not, but I had a great education through golf.

Patience Is Underrated

I signed my first contract with Reebok in 1989. Paul Fireman, Reebok's CEO, had a dream for me, but eventually structured the deal so I could function as my own brand. That was huge. The more independent you can be in life, the better. But since I didn't have a lot of marketing or branding knowledge at the time, I was patient. I didn't go for the quick buck. I focused only on how big it could become. I'm lucky in that I have pretty good long-term vision. Why do I have it? I don't know. But here we are decades later -- and I've only reached 20 percent of what this company is capable of achieving.

I was a different person on the course. I wasn't as patient, because I didn't have to be. I knew everything about the game and was super-confident in my abilities. I played by the sword and died by it. Would I have changed some things about my game knowing what success in business has taught me? It's something that I'd consider. But don't get me wrong -- I have zero regrets.

Winning Is About Heart

A lot of people ask how I'd stack up against today's players if I had use of modern equipment. Listen, it's not about the gear. Winning is about what's in your heart and in your head. Equipment dictates how to play the game in an era, but the physical and mental skills are the same. And I had them. I never feared anything or anyone on the course, and I wasn't afraid to fail. So I think I'd do pretty well against Snead, Hogan, Tiger and Phil -- whoever. Tiger's a tough guy, but I was a tough guy on the course, too. I probably would have beat him.

Never Blame Your Tools

The best are always going to be the best, no matter what you chuck in their bag. Send five guys out on Augusta National with hickory-shafted clubs and gutta-percha balls, and the guy with the most talent will always win. Technology allows you to extract certain things from your equipment, but how you extract it is dependent upon your ability to swing the club. Science can only take you so far.

The Secret's in the Shaft

When I was young I read a lot of articles by Ben Hogan. He wrote pages on the stiffness and torque he used in his shafts. I remember thinking, Sh-t! I need to figure this out. I spent a lot of time trying different shafts and, when I found a good match, making sure the spine was set in the same place on every club. I got it right, so I can't figure out why today's pros can't do likewise. Take Rory [McIlory]. It's absurd to say he has gear issues. It's so easy to re-create the same specs and feel from one set to the next. Something else is going on [with him].

Play Within Your Limits

The biggest difference between weekend players and pros? Let's say we're both 100 yards from the pin -- a sand wedge for me and a gap wedge for you. I'll use my pitching wedge and swing at 70 percent. You'll hit your gap wedge at 100 percent. And you'll lose. Weekend players go for broke while pros look for a way to play the minimum.

Play with Precision

When I was playing my best, my caddie, Bruce Edwards, would give me half yardages -- as in, "Greg, you've got 147 and a half yards to the pin." Sounds extreme, but a half-yard is 18 inches, which often means the difference between "good chance" and "no chance" on the ensuing putt. Spend time getting to know your distances and how to be precise with them on the fly. You may not realize it, but the distance you hit the ball changes with the atmosphere. Those humid early-morning rounds? You're going to lose yards. Similarly, the ball will jump when it's hot or dry. Guys can drive it 300 yards today without blinking an eye, but it's still a precision game.

Keep Your Swing Simple

There are a lot of moving parts in the swing, but you can't worry about each and every one. Charlie Earp, my first coach, taught me to always keep the triangle formed by my shoulders and grip in front of my body, from start to finish. If you maintain the triangle as you rotate, everything else falls into place. I've used this tip for 35 years. Hold the triangle, get the club parallel at the top, then let 'er rip (see sequence, below).

Listen to Your Body

The last time you saw me on TV was probably during the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale, where I had the 54-hole lead before finishing third. That wasn't the swing you saw in the 1980s and '90s. My stance is wider now, and I stop my backswing short of parallel. I have to. My body can't take the stress of rotating anymore.

I used to be super-flexible -- I could even do splits. It was the source of my power, but it allowed me to overrotate. I developed so many stress fractures in my spine that I ended up needing surgery. Butch Harmon was the one to get me to widen my stance, which automatically limits rotation. I fought him at first, but then listened to what Mother Nature was telling me. And I darn near won that Open.

Golf places severe pressure on your joints, so you either have to take excellent care of your body or find a swing that isn't so taxing. We get older and more frail. That's life.

Find a Confidence Boost

Success breeds success. I started playing golf at age 16, and by the time I was 21 I was competing in professional events. I knew I was good, but I didn't know how good until the 1976 West Lakes Classic, an Australian Tour event held at the Grange G.C. in Adelaide. I was a complete nobody, and the field had Bruce Devlin, Bruce Crampton, David Graham, and a couple of guys from the PGA Tour. By the end of the third round I had a 10-shot lead. That was it for me. I knew right then and there that I could be great. Everyone needs a shot of confidence, and my victory at the Grange -- the first of 89 pro wins -- was it.

Build a Swing Foundation

I went from novice to scratch in two years. I was lucky in that the things I liked to do before I got into golf, mainly surfing, established foundations for my game. Surfing develops your core, lat muscles and shoulders -- the engines of your swing. Plus it gives you balance. When you're riding a wave your proprioceptors [sensory receptors that detect body position] are firing on all cylinders -- you learn balance very quickly. I've talked about how surfing helps your swing with [pro surfer] Kelly Slater. Kelly loves golf, and we agree that surfing makes you a better player. One moment you're perfectly calm waiting for a wave, and the next you're firing up and dropping in, just like when you're on the tee box getting ready to hit a shot. If you don't surf, try swimming. It works.

Use Strategy, Not Emotion

I was an aggressive golfer, but I always knew the stakes. I got a feel for it during the gambling games I got into while training to be a professional under Charlie Earp at Royal Queensland. I was only 20 at the time, and Charlie was paying me $32 a week, so gambling was a necessary second income. I played against a lot of members. During one match, my partner, Cyril King, and I went down $800 after 16 holes. I didn't have $8 to my name, let alone $800, but I knew No. 17 was a par 5 and 18 was a tough par 4 -- a huge advantage for Cyril and me against our older opponents. We went double or nothing, and actually took home money after I finished eagle-birdie. Had 17 been a short par 3 and 18 a manageable par 4? Who knows if we would have doubled-down? But our decision was strategy-based, not an emotional one. Aggressive for sure, but also smart.

Find Your Happy Place

In 1986 I became the first player to win $1 million in a season. Some of the guys thought it was crazy money, but now you get $1 million for winning the Shriners [the Las Vegas Tour event]. So "crazy" is relative, but the Tour has set things up to let even halfway decent players make a comfy living. That was never my style. I saw endorsements, branding and business opportunities as the real trophies, and you can only get them when you're at the very top. The downside to becoming a brand is that everything I say or do gets scrutinized, and it can either hurt or help your business. So I watch my step and watch what I say. It's tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I love being here [in Colorado]. I can do the things I like most and, well, disappear.

Broaden Your Horizons

I played professionally for seven years before taking my game to the U.S. I was anxious to play on the PGA Tour, but I felt I needed a world view before I could become dominant. So after playing in Australia, I toured in Asia and then Europe. You learn a lot when you're outside the Western world, the most important thing being how different people perceive you based on their culture, religion and ethics. It's a huge influence on the way I am today. The experience was a force that allowed me to succeed in America. It was a long road, so I consider my win at the 1984 Kemper Open as one of the highlights of my career. I had seen the world, won everywhere I went, and now I was doing it in the States. It was the moment I had officially arrived.

Be Open to New Ideas (Even If They're Not Yours)

The abyss of my professional career was my run-in with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem over the World Tour, my idea for an international series of tournaments. It was a beautiful plan and good for golf. I had the support of numerous marquee players, a lucrative TV contract in place, and most important, I had structured it so that the players owned it. I've always believed that if you help build equity in something, you should receive some of the spoils. Unfortunately, Finchem and the media ripped me to shreds. They said I was trying to ruin the game. It got so bad that a lot of PGA club pros who carried Greg Norman Collection [clothes] began canceling their contracts. I was devastated, but I was so sure of the World Tour's promise that I called each one of them to explain my side of the story, because I was never offered the chance to do so with the PGA Tour. It took weeks. I asked each one to hear me out and draw his own conclusions. Everyone kept their contract. My tour never got off the ground, yet three years later the PGA Tour launched the World Golf Championships. I guess they didn't like the fact that it wasn't their idea.

It's poor policy to slay the dreamer just because he or she came up with a better plan. It's so against how I do things. If you came to me with something great that I had never thought of, I'd say, "Are you okay, or do you want help? Should we joint-venture?" If the answer is "no," I'm still going to support you, because your idea is fantastic. It didn't happen that way with Finchem and, honestly, it's one of the reasons I don't do certain things in golf anymore. I haven't played in a PGA-sanctioned event in 18 months. I don't see a reason to support an entity that tried to destroy my dream.

Find a Family Bond

Fostering common interests makes everything easier. Our family likes to do the same things, and I think that's what keeps us strong. We're big scuba people. My daughter, Morgan, is a master diver. We've been all over the world, and having that time with my kids has been huge. You can't sit around the house and do nothing. And it's not just with your children. My wife, Kiki [Kirsten], loves coming to the ranch as much as I do. Our shared interests make us closer.

A caveat: Let your kids find themselves in sport. You can't smother them like I see a lot of parents do. It's okay to be there on the periphery, but kids should develop on their own. They'll resent you if you play too heavy a hand.

Seize the Day

I've recently launched the Great White Shark Opportunity Fund, an asset-based financing company that helps small businesses. I never imagined doing such a thing, but with some of the things going on economically throughout the world, we saw an opportunity. I could have left it alone, but opportunity may not always be there. You have to at least consider ideas when they come across your desk. At the very least, consider the potential.

My first coach, Charlie Earp, had a phrase: "DIN & DIP." It means "Do It Now and Do It Properly," and it's the best piece of advice that's ever been lent to me or that I've passed along. If you have a task, commit to it, get it done, and then move on to the next challenge.

Think Vertically

My goal is to grow my brand on a global basis. I'm a fan of what Ralph Lauren has done with Polo and the horse logo. He built a brand, then pushed it in every direction. Lauren thinks vertically, and that's what I'm trying to do.

My course-design business holds the key. When someone comes to me with millions or even tens of millions of dollars to design a course as part of a real-estate development or resort, I know I can leverage it by, say, stocking the cellars with my wine, the pro shop with Greg Norman Collection clothing, the kitchen with my Greg Norman Australian Prime steaks. They're already investing in the value of my brand, so why not add some scale to it? I think it's a great model, and with 70 designs under my belt, so far so good.

Leave the Right Legacy

I'd like to see my logo live on in perpetuity after my death. That's the greatest compliment you can have. But my real legacy? It's my kids and my family. They're what's important. What I do outside of them—stuff that I enjoy -- is for me.

Be Happy for Others

I know how hard it is to be successful, so I get elated when others experience it. Like when Adam Scott won the Masters. I was so happy for him that I cried. It comes down to, don't be the jealous guy. Remember, things will outlast you. We're only here for a certain amount of time, so it's important to make decisions that are good for everyone around you, not just you.

Be a Mentor

If somebody asks me for help, I'm going to help them. Years ago back in Australia, Adam Scott came to me with a lot of great questions. Deep questions, like, "What's it like when you get to 40?" I don't lock my door to anybody. And now Adam's off and running, but we still stay in contact. When he won at Augusta National, it felt like I had won! Helping someone achieve their own success is just about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Commit to Golf and Life

Golf teaches you about who you are -- how you deal with failure, how you deal with success, how you deal with humility, how you deal with the public. Most people fail in at least a few areas, so you've got to work at it. I certainly had to. If you truly want to succeed at golf, business, life -- any endeavor -- you have to fully commit to it. It's not enough to only want it. The competition is too heavy. And if you're lucky enough to reach the top of whatever you do, then you actually have to work harder, because everyone underneath is gunning for you. Unfortunately, there's no quit.

Brought to you by Lowville Golf Club

[buddyrabrahams]

Christian McCaffrey talks Call of Duty, draft, Panthers in interview with LBS

Christian McCaffrey has Panthers fans hyped. They think he’s the future.

The rookie from Stanford represents a new breed of NFL player — the hybrid athlete who can line up just about anywhere on the field. The league is unquestionably trending in this direction, favoring young players like Green Bay’s Ty Montgomery who can play multiple positions and confuse defenses. It’s essentially the NFL version of the Golden State Warriors’ ahead-of-its-time strategy to play five versatile wings who can switch every screen.

During his historic college career, McCaffrey came to be known for much more than simply being the son of former NFL wide receiver Ed McCaffrey and being a white running back.

In his three years in Palo Alto, McCaffrey amassed 3,922 rushing yards; 99 receptions for 1,206 receiving yards; and 33 total touchdowns. As a sophomore he broke the NCAA’s record for all-purpose yards with 3,864. (The man whose record he broke, Barry Sanders, was his childhood hero.)

McCaffrey decided to stop giving Pac-12 coaches nightmares and declared for the draft after his junior year. Now that he’s a pro (McCaffrey has 87 yards rushing, 51 yards receiving, and one touchdown in three preseason games), he’s lining up endorsement deals.

This interview is brought to you by Activision and its new game, Call of Duty: WWII. This game marks a Call of Duty return to the World Wars for the first time in nearly a decade (Call of Duty: World at War was released in 2008).

Activision hosted a Twitch livestream of McCaffrey playing the beta version of the game in Charlotte Friday, and he chatted with Larry Brown Sports on the phone after the event. We discussed his transition to life in the NFL, his decision to skip the Sun Bowl, the Mayweather-McGregor fight (which was set to take place the next day), Game of Thrones, Drake and much more.

About to start playing the @CallofDuty #WWIIBeta with @LEGIQN. Make sure you watch here: https://t.co/UMgYO7r7Em #ad http://pic.twitter.com/7L5XB9IwVD

— Christian McCaffrey (@run__cmc) August 25, 2017

What was the livestream like? What are your early impressions of the game?

Oh my gosh, I absolutely love it. I’ve been playing Call of Duty forever, so it felt good to get back to the World War II days, the boots on the ground, combat gameplay, it definitely was a lot of fun.

You were 7 when the first one came out, so you’ve kind of grown up with the franchise as it’s developed. Athletes obviously take endorsement decisions seriously, especially when you’re a rookie and you’re just creating your brand. So, why did you and your team choose to partner with Call of Duty?

You’re right — a lot of people, they choose wisely on endorsements and who they end up signing with. For me, I’ve always wanted it to be genuine, something that I like and stuff I’m actually into. If I never played Call of Duty before, I wouldn’t want to do something with Call of Duty, but I really love the game, so I thought it’d be cool to do something with them, and got lucky enough to them agreeing to it, so now we’re here. Had an absolute blast (Friday).

This is the second time Sledgehammer Games has led development on a Call of Duty game. The first one was Advanced Warfare, which people really liked. Is there any insight you can give to the video game aficionados about what makes this version cool?

The maps are awesome, the new maps. Depending on what maps you play, there are bunkers, so a lot of people use smoke grenades just to get through the whole maps, and it can get chaotic, but it’s a lot of fun. The turrets are a lot of fun. The turrets are stronger than they’ve ever been in any Call of Duty. And I think the sniping is elite. I think the sniping is a lot better. All in all, it’s an unbelievable game. I cannot wait for the full version to come out.

After being around the NFL for so long, how crazy is it for you that you’re in these shoes now?

It’s a lot of fun. It really is cool, you know what I mean, being an NFL player and having opportunities like this. It reminds me that I’m blessed and when these opportunities come up, I’m extremely thankful that I’m living out my dream.

"Having no limitation as limitation" -Bruce Lee #MoveInSilence #KeepPounding http://pic.twitter.com/Wz4qm1VBXz

— Christian McCaffrey (@run__cmc) August 25, 2017

I know we’re only three weeks into the preseason, but has anything surprised you so far about life in the NFL or the competition?

No, not really. I got lucky going to the Panthers — such a welcoming team. A lot of guys on the team really do a good job in giving you the rundown on what the league is like, and they treat you like family as soon as you step in the building. It’s awesome because they understand you’re a rookie but they also need you and want you to help their team win. I’m thankful for the veterans and the entire organization for accepting all of us rookies. I think we’ll have a great team and hopefully win a lot of football games this year.

When wisdom speaks, you must listen. http://pic.twitter.com/a1vrRxy0tZ

— Christian McCaffrey (@run__cmc) August 14, 2017

Who are some of those veterans that you’ve found yourself getting a lot of advice from and gravitating toward?

The whole running back room is who I spend pretty much all my time with, in meetings and on the field. Guys like Jonathan Stewart, Fozzy Whitaker, Cam Artis-Payne, Jalen Simmons, all those guys. Such solid guys. You can tell it really is like a family, and we feed off of each other’s success and we want each other to do well. They’ve kind of showed me the ropes to start, but you’ve got guys all over the organization who know how to lead, who have been there and done that. Luke Kuechly’s been great. Ryan Kalil’s been great. Greg Olsen’s been great. Cam (Newton)’s awesome. Thomas Davis is great. Shaq (Thompson)’s been there, done that. Kurt Coleman. Kawann Short. Julius Peppers. You go down the list, you’ve got guys who have experienced success. As a rookie coming in, you’re all ears.

Your stock rose quite a bit leading up to the draft. Why do you think it is that as the draft approached, teams got higher on you and your projected position kept going up?

I don’t know really. I think that’d be a question for them, but I was always confident in my abilities, and I think a lot of times it’s hard for people to actually watch the games. You hear about certain guys, but when you play in the Pac-12 a lot of your games are late, 7:30 games. A lot of people on the East Coast are asleep so they know your name but they’ve never really seen you play. That might be one of the reasons, but I’m not really sure 100 percent.

#KeepPounding http://pic.twitter.com/H9fJELReEP

— Christian McCaffrey (@run__cmc) April 28, 2017

Do you have any regrets or hesitations when you look back on the bowl game and deciding not to play?

Uh, no. I’ll always, I told my team and told my coaches, I’ll always regret not playing in it, but I’ll always understand why I did it. It’s hard for me to not play in the game but I know it was a business decision I had to make and it worked out great.

I know for a guy like you it must have been an extremely difficult decision, and I read that your teammates embraced you and they understood. One report even said they gave you a standing ovation. Were your teammates understanding of that decision?

Yeah, they were great. I had some unbelievable teammates at Stanford, and to this day I keep in touch with them. I absolutely love those guys, I’d go to bat for them, so I can’t express how lucky I was to go to a school where those will be guys that will be my friends for the rest of my life.

OK. Christian, I’m sure you have some goals in mind for your rookie season. Anything you’d be willing to share that you’re hoping to accomplish this year?

I usually keep my goals pretty private, but I do have a lot of them. A lot of new goals hopefully I can reach, but I keep those to myself.

You’re such a workout fiend that your strength coach at Stanford designed a special workout just for you. Take me through how your training is changing now that we’re heading into the season — what’s changing in your lifting and conditioning approach?

I still lift and condition all the time despite being in-season; I think it’s important to continue to gain strength and continue to be conditioned. It’s just that it creeps into recovery. But really, nothing’s changed. I still try to maintain everything. It’s not about putting a lot of weight on the bar or trying to make any gains as much as it is about maintaining everything and being able to stay healthy for the whole season.

And what about your nutrition — as you’ve come into the pros, has anything changed with the way you’re eating?

I’ve always had a pretty strict diet, so nothing’s really changed there. On off days I have to eat in order to have success and put my body in the best position it can be so on Sundays I’m ready to roll.

First one in the books felt so good. #BBTB #KeepPounding http://pic.twitter.com/2byZUCm3ZX

— Christian McCaffrey (@run__cmc) August 10, 2017

What’s the last TV show you were obsessed with?

Oh, Game of Thrones right now.

It’s the last season, right?

Yeah, so the last episode comes on Sunday.

What’s your go-to album right now?

Ooh, go-to album. Man, that’s tough. I’d probably say any Drake album. I can always rely on Drake.

Take Care. I always end up going back to Take Care.

Oh man, Take Care is one of the best albums, if not the best album ever, so that’s great.

You’re a big mixed martial arts fan. You excited for Saturday? And what’s your prediction for Mayweather-McGregor?

I train with a lot of UFC guys back in Denver. I’ve been an MMA fan pretty much my whole life, and I’m a huge McGregor fan, have been since day one. So I’m gonna go with him. I know I’ll probably get some heat for it, but I think he’s gonna shock some people.

He’s a warrior. He’s accomplished a lot of things people didn’t think he could.

He is. He’s the definition of a warrior.

The dude who was yelling “Heisman!” behind you after the Rose Bowl victory — did you ever find out who he was or how he got on the field, or was he just some random guy?

You know, I have no idea, but I’ll put that guy in my ring any day. (Laughs) I appreciate his support.

Upside from the start! Watch @CMcCaffrey5 dominate this game of Pee Wee football. http://pic.twitter.com/0z83GeLQhV

— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) July 7, 2017

I saw that Pee Wee football game you played against the NFL mascots. That was real, right — with the Sharpie in the sock?

Yeah, that actually happened.

Now that celebrations are allowed again in the NFL, do you have anything planned for this year harkening back to the Sharpie days, or are you going to be more businesslike?

No, I’ll probably keep it simple like I always do, but if something happens, something changes, you guys will know.

Aaron Mansfield is a freelance sports writer. His work has appeared in Complex, USA Today and the New York Times. You can reach him via email at aaroncmansfield@gmail.com.

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2xLQUMK

[darspeaksout]

Up close and personal: starting university, stepping down from HSB, friendships, and more

 Q: What made you decide to major in French?

        A: I immigrated to Canada from the Philippines when I was only four, and being exposed to Tagalog from my parents, and English from school at such a young age, I became bilingual easily. In Canada, you have to enrol in French starting the fourth grade and continue with it until at least grade nine, and I was always encouraged by my French teachers to keep going. I had always loved books and learning new words, and found it fascinating the way people think differently and almost put on a “new self” when they’re speaking a different language. I decided to major in French because I aspire to be fluent, and help people make themselves understood to others.

Q: What do you plan on doing with your degree after graduation?

        A: My goal is to become an interpreter specializing in English, French, and Mandarin Chinese. I’ll probably start off with doing translation, then work my way to interpreting for businesses, then eventually (Lord-willing), interpreting for government conferences. It’s a running joke between my mom and I that I’ll be so successful in my field that I’ll end up working at the Parliament! But we’ll see where God takes me.

Q: Being a very devoted student like yourself, what do you do outside of class to manage stress?

        A: I’m soooo happy you asked this question because I think that mental health is super important and often neglected, especially by many young people in this generation where everyone’s pressured to succeed, and education is seen as a necessity for a successful and happy life. But just as academics are important, so too is doing activities outside of class to keep one’s stress under control. For me, I like to read books, work out, and hang out with friends. But I most enjoy serving in my youth group, CFC-Youth.

Q: What is CFC-Youth, and what do you guys do?

        A: CFC-Youth is a Roman Catholic non-profit organization that was founded in the Philippines, and its missionaries have evangelized all throughout the world, so there is literally CFC-Youth everywhere you go. We have monthly assemblies where we bond in fellowship, followed by a faith talk led by a speaker, worship, and the best part: food! We also have an annual conference and an annual camp, the two biggest and most exciting events of the year.

Q: How did you find out about this organization?

        A: A friend of mine had invited me to their camp back in 2014, Camp Everlasting, and it changed the way I saw others around me and the way I looked at how I should be aspiring to live. Camp brought meaning, purpose, life, energy, and accountable brothers and sisters into my life in a way that I had never experienced before. From then on, I remained active in the community; it’s been almost three years since.

Q: I see. Your community seems very lively and a breeding ground for solid friendships, but have there ever been moments when things were rocky?

        A:  Oh, definitely. Don’t be fooled, most people think just ‘cause it’s church that everyone gets along, but no. We have disputes and arguments too. We’re just as messed up as any team or club or workplace or group of people; misunderstandings and fights happen more often than you think, but what separates us from other groups is that with each conflict, we keep in mind our common vision: journeying to God together. And when I remind myself of the love, the support, and the faith that this community has given me, I’m able to move past any problems with my brothers and sisters, forgive, and just keep going.

Q: Right. Now, you served for HSB for two years, is that correct?

        A: Yes. Well actually no, not the full two years.

Q: Why’s that so? And for those who don’t know, what is HSB?

        A: I was asked to bring CFC-Youth to my high school through our high school base program (abbreviated HSB) when I was in my 11th year, and the plan was for me to continue leading it ‘til I graduated. As much as I loved it, I had to step down two months before my term ended because my grades were a bigger priority, and I had to make sure I got into the school I had set my eyes on.

Q: Was that a hard decision for you to make?

        A: To be honest, yes. We saw a peak in our monthly attendance when HSB had started off, but our numbers declined when I was in my last year of high school. It came to a point where I had to weigh out my options – do I continue to serve despite low numbers and potentially let my grades suffer? Or, do I step down from my service and devote more of myself to my academics, and assure my spot at my desired university? Evidently I chose the latter, as you can tell.

Q: Now, you mentioned “we” when you talked about HSB starting off. Did you have a team of people leading it with you?

        A: In the beginning, yes. I had a sister counterpart and two close friends, all of whom joined CFC-Youth the same time that I did at Camp Everlasting. But one by one they eventually stopped serving.

Q: Really? How come?

        A: My counterpart and I had frequent misunderstandings and disputes, and we both agreed that we’re just very different people; we respected each other, for sure, but our priorities weren’t in line with each other’s, making us incompatible as leaders. So then it was down to me and my two friends. With one of them, I realized that my friendship with her just didn’t have that same level of importance to me as it did before; we also cared about different things and I was not always fond of the type of people she chose to associate herself with. And as they say, “you are who you surround yourself with”, and I knew that if I wanted to lead HSB and give it my absolute best by being a model of excellence, I could not surround myself with doubtful people like her. It was really funny that I hadn’t noticed any of these hindrances in our friendship UNTIL we decided to serve God together. It’s weird what service leads you to realize about the people in your life. Anyway, our friendship ended and HSB was down to just myself and this brother-in-Christ of mine, who, although insanely zealous to serve, could not anymore because of his academic schedule. So then it was only I who remained. I still lasted quite a while on my own but I was never really on my own, because I’d always ask for help from the non-HSB service team to come to our assemblies and help set up, lead discussion groups, do talks, etc. It became difficult, logistically and emotionally, to keep leading on my own with no established set of leaders in HSB and only the occasional help that I’d receive from service team - help that wasn’t even guaranteed. Combined with the pressure of grade twelve, after months of deliberation and prayer, I made the decision to step down.

Q: Really? You were deciding for months? How come?

         A: Yeah, months. The idea kind of started to form in my mind towards the end of first semester, but I tried to block it out and continue leading our monthly assemblies. When it was time to prepare for our February meeting, I had an idea for a talk: “Vanity Fair” (from the green household book, if you’re curious). Man, that was a challenge that I put myself up to; can you believe the audacity I had, to do a talk about being ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FREE? The entire time I’d been doing talks, I’d always avoided the 100% Free section in the manual, because I was just super intimidated by them; they usually dealt with sensitive subjects like sex, porn, drugs, alcohol (you know, all the heavy stuff most youth leaders are adamant on avoiding). I would always reject the idea of giving such talks because I was never entirely sure how to deliver them in a way that was constructive and not condemning, and I did not want to preach on matters that I myself struggled to practice, and, because I had always avoided them, I lacked knowledge in the subject matters themselves. But with this particular month’s assembly, I decided to challenge myself. And the result? “Vanity Fair”, I would say, was the talk which I gave my absolute best. It was the talk that had required the most research, the most hunting down for answers from youth leaders, the most time to create, and the most conviction and strength I had to gather within myself. It demanded a lot of care and attention; I had to get a sharer (which was difficult because remember, no established HSB counterpart nor service team), and I had a brother who came from Scarborough by bus to screen my content MINUTES before the assembly. At the time I didn’t know that this assembly would be our last, but on that day we managed to get an HSB photo for Yearbook - which would’ve never happened if I had chosen to step down earlier. I guess the timing was perfect because I stepped down after having given my best talk, and so I left HSB on a good note, not on a miserable one. Part of the reason why I’d been stuck for months whether or not to step down, was because I was ashamed of what people in the community might think of me; I know it’s superficial, but it bothered me a lot: what would they think of me as a leader? What would they say? “Darwin couldn’t do it”; “Darwin can’t commit to his service”; “Darwin failed”; “He used to love serving so much, what happened?” And if anyone ever confronted me with the question of why, what would I be able to do, other than give them a sad look and be at a loss for words? Simply put - I did not want people to talk. I didn’t want to be seen as low, or unworthy, or weak, or incapable - so that’s why it took four months for me to finally muster up the courage to tell my upper, “I cannot serve in HSB anymore; I’m stepping down.” 

Q: That certainly is a lot to go through, but do you ever regret your decision? I mean, you only had what, two months left ‘til your term ended?

        A: Yeah, two months. As much as I would’ve loved to see HSB through until the end, I don’t really regret stepping down. First of all, a huge pressure was lifted off my shoulders because I no longer had to worry about leading assemblies practically all by myself. Stepping down from my position also made me see and experience my faith working actively in my own life – which sometimes I forget happens; I was so used to expressing my love for God at assemblies, I realized I’d been neglecting Him in my personal life. Stepping away from my service meant for me, stepping into my alone time with God – and it felt great. It felt like a resting period. The other reason why I had decided to step down was because I had to maintain high marks to guarantee my spot at university, and it paid off! I set all my focus and energy into school, especially into French, and I ended up receiving a scholarship at grad. So that was a blessing, and it just goes to show that even if I stop serving in the community, it doesn’t mean I stop serving God altogether – I’ll always be serving Him, just in different ways.

Q: Sounds like the decision you made really did good to you. But you mentioned your friends who served alongside you for HSB?

        A: Mhm, yeah?

Q: Is there any bad blood between you? Do you still talk to them?

        A: The brother – I still talk to him. He and I go waaaay back; he was the one I was closest with out of all of them. It’s funny because I’ve known him since elementary school and he lives like five minutes away from me, but we never actually talked until we joined camp together. But after camp, we became like best buds; we’d hang out at my house after school, had sleepovers, and showed up at CFC-Youth assemblies together. We were always seen together, I swear, and that’s how I think we were known as in the community – an inseparable pair or something. It’s still like that today, and I have confidence in God that it will always be despite our hectic schedules with family, work, and post-secondary coming up. I’ve experienced so much with this brother, both good and bad, but our bond is still strong and he’s helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. I won’t get too into it because it’ll be too long (maybe save it for another interview), but one of the most important lessons he taught me was forgiving others and seeking forgiveness.

Q: Mhm, and what about the sisters?

        A: We don’t talk anymore, and largely because of my decision not to pursue my friendships with them. Maybe back then when I was younger and more immature, I would’ve justified my not continuing to be friends with them by picking out their shortcomings, but now after having had ample time to reflect on it, I gotta admit I was always very blunt and outspoken, especially when it came to criticism. Oh man, I’d be so ruthless and totally insensitive to how they were feeling. They taught me something important too, though: be assertive, but don’t attack. I resolved things with both of them by talking it out (or at least I’d like to think I did), but it’s very questionable. For example, one of them had a huge party for her 18th birthday, and I wasn’t invited although she’d said I would be. Not gonna lie, I was kind of hurt and angry when I didn’t receive an invitation after a much anticipated, “Hey, I know we don’t really talk as much anymore but you’re still very important to me and I want you to come celebrate my 18th” message, but it gave me a reality check that maybe I haven’t been treating people as kindly as I should have. It’s something I’m realizing now – the whole thing about being assertive and outspoken but not judgmental and harsh – and I sometimes wonder how different my friendships would be with those two if I had learned this lesson sooner. But they made me realize that as much as I may turn a blind eye to it, I too, am flawed, and I just need to practice more assertive kindness. I’m not really sure of her reason for not inviting me although we supposedly reconciled, or why the other had seen me once in public with a mutual friend and said hello to our mutual friend but not to me, and perhaps I will never get an explanation from them. But I accept it as a lesson learned; it is what it is. I can’t dwell on the past; I just have to focus on treating people better.

Q: I see. And what about now? You’re not HSB president anymore, but do you hold any other position in CFC-Youth?

        A: At the moment, no. I used to be a household head but most of my household is inactive due to their own individual reasons, and the last event I served at was RYC Journey, as a backstage runner.

Q: Do you wish you were serving?

        A: If by serving you mean like holding an official position, sometimes I do miss it because as someone with an official title, you have a lot of say in how your chapter (or HSB) is led, allowing you to build up the youth – since it’s you who’s mainly in charge of planning events. But I do not miss the stress that goes with service. Trust me, I’ve seen and lived through that, leading HSB solo. I’m glad to know I can endure something as challenging as that, but I’d prefer to never have to struggle like that again. Especially not now, because university is coming up and realistically speaking I will not have the time nor the mental energy to hold a service position AND give it my all. This attitude of mine could also explain why I stepped down – because I did not want to serve passively, without my heart totally in it, in an insincere and mediocre way.

Q: But you’ll still be part of CFC-Youth?

        A: Oh, of course. They’re my solid ground. Just because I won’t belong to a title doesn’t mean I won’t be part of the community anymore; I’ll still show up at events when I’m able, especially the big ones like camp and conference.

Q: What does the future hold for you, in the community and outside of it? What happens to Dar from this point forward?

        A: Oh… (smiles, rubs hands together excitedly), that’s a good question and I wish I could tell you with utmost confidence, but it’s something that only God knows. But what I hope will happen and what I will strive for to happen… hmm… school, you know, getting my French degree; continue to work and make money; keep my good friends and family close; and always always always nurture my relationship with God.

Q: Lastly, before we close this off, is there anything you have to say to anyone reading this?

        A: Never think you know it all; always strive to learn new things. Because when you humbly accept that you don’t know everything, you’ll always discover new things and meet new people and acquire new opportunities. I thought my service was over, but it wasn’t. It never is. God continues to bless me more and more with new pursuits, new ways of serving. So don’t ever think you know everything! Don’t think that life doesn’t have anything more to offer you; there is always more. You just have to keep your mind open and receptive to what life, God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, presents to you.

Q: Beautiful. Thank you so much.

        A: Thank you. 

And with that, may God be praised. See you next time, on #DarSpeaksOut.