#the guitarspear goes hard in this one tho

[mistystarshine]

attack on titan au is a chaggie fic.

i want to write it primary for the three flashbacks chapters showing how lute went from a fanatically loyal marleyan to the survey corps' strongest soldier and lucifer's right hand.

i am nowhere close to figuring out how the overarching plot is resolved.

i am also writing the vile and blasphemous climax and outlining the first part of buffy au tonight.

you cannot B E G I N to fathom the state my head is in right now

[nutal]

time to witness part 2 of my school long paragraph essay about my imaginary scenarios that may age as bad as milk bc my blood flows with red bull and xanax (guitarspear and Adam), so here we GOO-

*ahem*

Pretty much, I have no idea how Adam and Lute's relationship started out, but judging by the fact that Adam keeps pushing others away, I'm pretty sure they were rivals before they turned into lovers (enemies to lovers thing, inspiration for this headcanon : "Thanks for the Venom" by @deadgirlwalking91 , it may not be necessary to also show the inspiration but imma show it anyway cause yes uvu)

Basically, I think that before they became lovers and stuff, Lute was like: "U STOOPID NI-" and Adam was just like: "lol get L + ratio'd loser", u get the idea XD

Tho, as time went on, when the two started to get to know each other more personally, Lute realizes she actually really likes Adam, and she's pretty much like: "WOT, I GOT FEELINGS FOR THAT DUMBASS?? THERS NO WAY UnU" cause she isn't used to relationships like Adam + she thinks she hates him with all her heart so she kinda tries to deny it (burning passion lol)

Adam also realizes that he really likes Lute (he's still a love-wanting little dummy), and he also tries to deny it, at first, but then he starts to realize that he actually fell HARD for Lute (bc he a lovey lovey dummy, tho I can't blame him for being like this, he was basically made to reproduce when u think about it, so it explains why he's so lustful). When he realizes this, he kinda starts to panic since denying wasn't really effective anymore, he kinda just has a panic attack, bc he basically vowed to himself to NEVER fall in love again (Lilith and Eve trauma) + he's just like: "DUDE, I HAVE SO MANY FUCKIN HOT MEGA BABES, AND I FELL FOR LUTE OUT OF ALL PEOPLE??? RRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH" + deep inside, he thinks he's worthless, so he basically thinks she's just gonna reject him

Because he realizes that he has hard feeling for Lute, but also thinks that she is automatically gonna reject him, he starts to push her away even more, being more obnoxious and annoying, even being straight up mean to her, like, straight UP mean.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, it somehow didn't work, and Lute just grew more closer to him (if yk one thing about Lute, Lute is a crazy bitch, so she'll just take this all the fricking way), then at one point, he just emotionally breaks down cause his feelings for her were getting too strong (for he also grew closer to Lute somehow), he goes home, takes off his mask and just destroys everything in his room, then ending up just.. crying

Now, here's what I think on how the two confessed to each other:

One day, Lute and Adam would be having an argument, going back and forth and things (context: Lute wanted to have a serious talk with Adam, but then she sees his real face for the first time while he was having another panic attack... and Adam is mortified by it..), it goes like this:

Lute: "I know what's going on, Adam. Don't try to hide it."

Adam: "Pfft, please! YOU don't know S H I T . "

Lute: "You're literally just proving my point, you didn't even ask what it was even about."

Adam: "I- OH GO FUCK OFF MY DICK, YOU FUCKING C*NT! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ANNOYING ME, YOU KNOW THAT?"

Lute: "WHY DO YOU KEEP PRETENDING THAT THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON WITH YOU?"

Adam: "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!!" (reference: Yuno and Yuki - because I love you, you crazy bitch! meme)

Lute, remains stunned for a moment... did he just.. confess..?

Adam becomes petrified, immediately realizing that he confessed, he wanted to just.. run away from her as far away as possible. But, instead, he just remained still, he couldn't even do anything at that moment, he was on the verge of tears. Then, Adam saw her face go completely golden with blush, he gets confused... why was she blushing?... wasn't she supposed to say something.. or just tell him she doesn't feel the same...? This didn't make any sense for him, but he just stood there.

Lute: "I... love you, too, Adam.."

Now that, THAT was just... he didn't even know how to describe it in words. Sure, he could have chosen to not believe her at all, but because the two grew closer.. he kinda just.. believed her.... just like that. His face becomes golden with blush as well, though he was slightly smiling.

Ever since that day, the two decided to have some kind of an open relationship (not committed, since Adam is still traumatized as hell after what happened with Lilith, ESPECIALLY Eve, who he basically committed to even more, only for her to leave him suddenly without a trace, confessing his love to Lute obviously didn't automatically make his fears go away), and Adam and Lute just enjoyed each other's company xd

sooooo uh ye, this is kinda what I think happened (those r just imaginary scenarios tho), im gonna take another breath now *intensly inhales the oxygen tank*

OKOK YES YES SO TRUE i agree with the idea of them being rivals/being annoyed with each other at first but again I wouldn’t necessarily call that ENEMY territory since it’s not like they’re out to kill each other or something LMFAOAOA also i love Thank You For The Venom so much @deadgirlwalking91 is so damn talented it’s crazy! That fic has definitely shaped a lot of my headcanons for them as well haha

And YES the part of him vowing to never fall in love again but……. then there was Lute and whoops here we go again LMFAO!! And yes, again, this man is so damn insecure and has a fear of rejection n shit so ofc he thinks she’s not gonna reciprocate. And meanwhile Lute is very much in denial, but she loves him just as much.

ALSO THE ARGUMENT CONFESSION? NEEDED. SO SO REAL. And I am a huge believer in Adam having commitment/trust issues but as time goes on Lute pretty much proves her loyalty to him and mends his deep-seated abandonment issues 😭

God, i LOVE guitarspear.

[nutal]

whats a adam x lute fic u rly like?

Oh this is hard because there are SEVERAL.

But, I’ll choose one I found like recently just for the sake of it. Also I wish I saw more people talk about this one because it’s SO GOOD.

So I’m probably gonna say the fic “Hold Me Close” by Tealous on Ao3

I LOVED READING THIS SO MUCH. I swear the amount of times I’ve reread it is insane. Like this is the exact type of writing I’m into it’s just so beautifully done I can’t get enough of it.

It is rated M tho so just a warning for anyone who goes looking for it. BUT ARGH I LOVED THAT ONE def one of my fav guitarspear fics of all time