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blouisparadise · 8 months

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Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics that feature badass Louis. If you enjoy our rec lists and want them to continue, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Bite | Mature | 10,980 words

Louis is a vampire hunter, and Harry is too happy being his prey.

2) Don't Call Me Angel | Mature | 16,648 words

Manhattan is a dangerous playground for the rich and entitled Alphas of New York. Those same wealthy Alphas are robbed after spending one night in the presence of a blue-eyed Omega and Officer Styles is assigned to the case.

3) Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool | Explicit | 18,705 words

“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to Harry's innuendo fire. “You know I only fuck you, not with you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.

4) Death Wish | Explicit | 22,067 words

Louis hates vampires, he lives his life trying to kill as many as he can, night after night, year after year. He hates them. Then why the fuck is he kissing one? Again. “I mean it, Harry.” Louis says, into his mouth this time. “You need to get the fuck away from me.”

5) The Games We Play | Explicit | 23,488 words

Louis is a political lobbyist who chose his career over his personal life a long time ago and has never regretted it. Then he met Harry.

6) The Voice Of Range And Ruin | Explicit | 25,470 words

It seemed as if the freshly formed Omega Uprising had always been a step or two ahead of the Commandant and the rest of the reigning Alphanian officials. The idea had been floated that there must be someone working with them from the inside, reporting back to them on the government’s plans so that they could be prepared. That person had yet to be discovered, and the Commandant and his surrounding forces had finally had enough of this game of cat and mouse. Harry understood. He agreed. It needed to come to an end, one way or another. “Your job is to navigate their landscape and gain entry into their forces. You will pretend to be one of them and gain reliable intel for us. It’s clear that no one else has been capable of doing it, and you at least have some semblance of experience in this field. This has gone on for too long, Harry. Enough is enough.” He made direct eye contact with his son, holding it. “I’m counting on you.”

7) Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent | Explicit | 28,832 words

Where Harry is leading an army to overthrow the king of Cheshire and Louis is one of the volunteers who joins them along the way.

8) You Fill My Lungs With Sweetness (Can I Be Close to You?) | Explicit | 29,884 words

Busy picturing Harry’s stupid face on the stupid dummy, Louis goes through a series of kicks before returning to a low guard and cycling through punches. Harry’s still talking, gesturing with his hands as he rounds Louis, standing to his back. “You do a few butt-shaping exercises, tighten this up a little bit,” he smacks Louis’ arse and the omega freezes while Harry cheerfully continues, “you could pull this off.” “You know what?” Louis snaps, lifting on his tiptoes to get the leverage so he can wrap his arm around the alpha’s neck, forcing him to bend in half while Louis locks him in a chokehold. “Pull this off,” he snarls. They stagger over a few steps, Louis gritting his teeth as Harry tries to break free. “Is it because Payne hates me?” he complains, voice edging on an annoyed whine, “Or is it, like, an omega thing?” Too late, Louis realizes that Harry has got a grip on his leg and this time as he pulls against Louis’ hold, it loosens, the alpha lifting him in the air before slamming his back into the mat, breaking Louis’ grip completely. Harry kneels on the mat, hovering over him with a sneer, “Don’t kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way.”

9) Just Let Me Adore You | Not Rated | 34,913 words

The one where Louis and Harry shouldn't make sense. Where Louis' past and Harry's present intermingle and no one is thinking straight.

10) Not Everything is So Primitive (Oh, but I’m Giving In) | Explicit | 35,809 words

“Okay, hold your bloody horses, I’m coming,” Niall rips open the door, freezing at the sight of Harry, bloody and disgruntled, standing on his doorstep, “What the hell happened to you?” “My husband,” Harry grumbles, pushing past Niall and walking into his entryway, “He tried to kill me,” Harry pauses, turning to Niall and grabbing his shoulders, “He tried to kill me with his fucking car.”

11) Burning Soul | Explicit | 39,513 words

Louis is a rogue Omega wolf, all he wants is a new start. Will he allow himself to fully embrace what awaits him, or will he run again, too damaged by past hurt?

12) Soaked In The Blood Of Angels | Explicit | 40,867 words

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape. Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago. This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

13) No Easy Choice, But You're Mine | Explicit | 45,603 words

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

14) Falling Without Caution | Explicit | 50,350 words

Louis Tomlinson, a wanted criminal, was captured by the FBI after years of chasing. Instead of being locked up in a high-security prison, he was offered a deal. What was supposed to be the end of a decade long chase turned into a morally grey circumstance for Agent Styles.

15) Let Your Damage, Damage Me | Explicit | 57077 words

A low and dangerous growl was ripped from the future King’s chest. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” the alpha snarled, eyes dark and nostrils flared. Even as anger rushed through him at the alpha’s brutish display, Louis felt breathless at the intense gaze of the man that was going to be his future mate. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to be under all that. He will be inside me, all muscles and rage.’ Louis felt his cheeks heat again, but refused to be cowed. So he put his best smirk on display, the one alphas despised to see, the one that assured them all he had the upper hand. “Thought you were expecting me, dear husband. I’m your future mate.”

16) Men of Steel, Men of Power | Explicit | 58,849 words

“You’ve been watching me,” Styles said. Louis swallowed around nothing. He tried for light. “You’re the newest addition, people are bound to be curious,” he said. “Sure,” said Styles, in a somewhat condescending tone. “I’m not that daft, I do notice the curiosity regarding my clothes. That’s not what you’re doing though, hm?” Styles’ gaze was intense, and Louis could feel it burn on the side of his face, but kept his eyes stubbornly on the coffee cup. “I,” he said, licked his lips. Took a deep breath, tried to look open, confident, dominant. Alpha.

17) Somethin' Bout You | Explicit | 59,855 words

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

18) The Face Of Love's Rage | Explicit | 67,421 words

“What if I tell you,” the princess said slowly, “I can get you five kingdoms and a lover?” Harry’s brows rose. “Only five?” he said mockingly. “And a lover. Don’t forget the lover.” “I have a lover.” “Do you?” the omega tilted her head, smiling, “I think right now, you have a consort, two friends, and a hostage. If you marry Julien, you will lose a friend and gain another hostage. Do you want him as a hostage or as a friend?” Harry’s temper was about to snap and break all hell loose. His hands itched to do something with the wild creature in front of him, with her untamed spirit that seemed to mock his authority and challenge his very presence. Abigail Tomlinson, with all her secrets and sins, defied not only his status, but everyone who dared to get in her way. Always making everyone aware that the only reason she was still there wasn’t because Harry let her, but because she wanted to be. Seven kingdoms, two sinners and one big secret.

19) Through Struggles, To The Stars | Explicit | 80,582 words

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what's right.

20) The Rose Of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,182 words

Jack the Ripper au - Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended... A darkness is brewing, and it's finally come to collect on the promise it was made.

21) Gloria Regali | Not Rated | 100,985 words

"I am very proud of you," Louis admitted, his eyes displaying his conviction, "you are very brave and ridiculously determined." Harry looked at him, as he shook his head, reaching out to his hand, he held it, "Trust me, it is not enough." "What makes you say that?" "Because if it was, you would have been married to me."

22) The Galaxy's Edge | Explicit | 113,921 words

In which Louis is a bounty hunter with a messed up past. Harry is a prince who just wants to prove himself. Niall and Zayn have too many things to figure out together. And Liam just wants to take care of his family. Things never quite go as they are planned during a simple rescue job.

23) Run Like the Devil | Explicit | 139,152 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

Harry stops pouting, but his frown is still fixed in place. “Are you sure?” he asks. “You know it’s your soul you’re signing away.” He sounds…sad? No, that’s not right, but there’s something. Christ. This is the most incompetent demon Louis’ ever met. If he hadn’t seen the red of his eyes he wouldn’t believe he was a demon at all. How’d he get this job if he isn’t trying to convince Louis to deal? Or is it just another trick? A ploy for sympathy? “I’m sure,” Louis says. “Come over here and kiss me.”

24) Only You Can Be My Alpha | Mature | 212,387 words

In a world where one was either an Alpha or an Omega wolf, Louis found himself in a body that could be neither. Born an Omega without the expected characteristics of one, he felt broken, choosing to live as Alpha a lifestyle as he could. Harboring a serious lack of respect for Alphas and their authority complexes, Louis managed to get himself banished from his home, forced to wander the unforgiving woods for years, facing the elements and fighting enemy rogues each time they arose. Unbeknownst to Louis, in a tribe to the southwest of his home, there lived a dysfunctional Alpha, the orphaned pack leader Harry, who had never felt satisfied enough with anyone to settle down and continue his royal line. Living their lives apart thus far, the both of them assumed that they might be alone forever, making the best of things despite this even though it hurt. Chance, luck, or maybe fate brings Louis to this tribe when he’d least expected to receive kindness and shelter from a stranger, and when he arrives, something in his soul pulls him to Harry like a raging river current. The two don’t get off to a good start, but everyone around them can sense the chemistry—and in time they do too.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#bottom louis #top harry #larry #fic recs #blp #blp fic recs #badass louis

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bluesylveon2 · 1 year

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Love at First....Fight?

Summary: Retrieving some flowers should be easy for Yuu, right? It would be if it weren't for the annoying guy.

Word Count: 1067

Note: royal au, fluff, a one-sided fight between Yuu and Leona, inspired by a scene in Gnomeo and Juliet. Let's pretend I know things about cacao trees

Warning: not beta read (I wrote this at 12 am), possible ooc characters, and a badly written fight scene

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

Masterlist: here, Series Masterlist: here

"Stupid excuse of a father. Why does he make me do his work for him?" a girl grumbled her bag and dress bouncing with every step.

As your kind father, you must get me a branch of cacao flowers. Not just any cacao flowers. It is called the floral cacao, typically found in the Sunset Savanna. They are identifiable by their reddish tint and floral smell.

And now, here Yuu was, in the quiet night, walking through her father's botanical garden where the supposed tree grew. Yuu has been inside it before and has seen the variety of plants her father tended to. She had never seen this cacao plant before, but it should not be hard to find. Right?

Yuu walked down the cobblestones path. It was quiet and peaceful. Yet, the girl was unaware of the pair of eyes watching her every move.

The girl continued walking until she saw it. A few feet away stood a small cacao tree filled with cacao beans. There was one branch of red flowers illuminated by the moonlight.

"Found you," Yuu smiled and stepped towards the tree. She pulled a pruner out of her bag and cut out a small branch. She was about to place it in her bag when a gust of wind blew past her.

Suddenly, the branch that was once in her hand was gone.

"What the?"

"Thanks for the branch, herbivore." A deep voice called out from above her. Yuu looked up to find a dark figure standing on a tree. The shadows covered his features, but she saw only a tan hand holding her branch. "But I'm gonna take this from here." The figure began to move towards the exit.

"Hey!" Yuu yelled and ran after him. She had worked hard to get the flowers, only for a stranger to steal them. Not on her watch! Yuu ran after the figure with adrenaline coursing through her body. She was thankful to her friend, Vil Schoenheit, for forcing her to train with him back in their teenage years.

The figure continued jumping through the trees. It reminded Yuu of Grim, the stray grey cat monster she saved from a rainstorm. The figure leaped until there were no more trees. He jumped down to the path, and Yuu sped up.

She was only a short distance away from him when she made her move. "Caught you!" Yuu jumped on the figure's back.

"Argh!" He yelled and fell to the ground. Yuu reached for the flowers, but the man was faster. He rolled away from her, but Yuu maintained a tight grip on him. It was a game of cat and mouse, where the male would evade Yuu whenever she tried to grab the branch. Yuu was too determined to notice that the male didn't attempt to hurt her. The most he did was pushed her away.

Growing tired of everything, Yuu threw punches and rolled with the man on the ground. She did not care that her dress was getting dirty, but she was not leaving without the flowers.

Yuu and the man continued their brawl (it was one-sided) until Yuu saw a window of opportunity. The girl managed to grab the branch and threw it aside. She used her body to sit on the man and clasped his hands, bringing them up over his head. The moonlight shined upon him, revealing a handsome face, striking emerald green eyes with a scar over one, light red blush on his cheeks, and lion ears on top of his head. Yuu was too distracted to admire his features. Had this been a regular meeting, she would spend hours appreciating his handsomeness. She leaned down until her lips were near his ear.

"Pinned ya," she said in a sing-song voice. That was when reality set, and she realized she was in a very compromising position. Yuu immediately scrambled to get up. "Uhh, sorry about that. I should go." She said hurriedly, grabbed the flowers, and ran off before she could embarrass herself further.

As Yuu ran away, the man could not hide his smirk.

"She seems interesting."

---

"Father? I'm back." Yuu knocked on Crowley's office door and entered. "I brought the" Her eyes landed on a tall make with long dark red hair. He had tan skin, a kind smile, wore golden high-quality-looking clothes, and a gold ring with a lion emblem on his left ring finger. "Uhh, hello?"

The man smiled even wider. "Hello. You must be Yuu." He stood up and walked towards the girl and extended a hand. "I'm Falena Kingscholar. King of Sunset Savanna."

Yuu bowed slightly and shook Falenas hand. "It's nice to meet you, Your Majesty."

Falena chuckled. "No need to call me that. You can call me Falena. After all, we might be family soon."

Yuu raised an eyebrow and looked at Crowley. "Family?"

Crowley smiled, stood up, and brought Yuu into a big hug, "Remember how you were no marriage proposals?"

"I declined them because they were all rude, snotty, and not worth it," Yuu muttered.

"Well, it seems like someone else has shown an interest in you! A prince! I am so proud to be your father, Yuu!"

Yuu pulled away from Crowley's hug. "Who?" she looked at him bewilderedly.

Falena smiled proudly, "My little brother, Leona."

Right on cue, the door opened, and a tall, very familiar-looking male appeared. He had long, dark hair with two sections that were braided. He wore similar clothes to Falena, except it was red and brown. Yuu could not take her eyes off his emerald green ones. She recognized those eyes and the scar anywhere. Her mouth opened from shock, but the other inhabitants did not notice it except for the newcomer.

Oh, she knew she made the worst first impression in Twisted Wonderland.

"Ah, there you are, Leona. I wanted to introduce you to Princess Yuu of the Nocte Corvus Kingdom." Falena walked over to Leona and gave him a pat on his back. His eyes looked over Leona's clothes, and his hand remained on his brother's shoulder. "What happened to you? Did you get in a fight with a female beastman?"

Leona brushed his brother off. "No, but the herbivore was strong-willed like one. If not, better." His eyes landed on Yuu's again, and he smirked at her shocked look. "I'm sure that we will get along just fine."

©: These stories belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

Additional Notes:

Leona purposely did not fight back because he did not want to hurt Yuu. He could beat her, but he didn't want to hurt her. He respected her. (I think he would've fought back if it got very serious)

Leona heard about Yuu prior to their first meeting and wanted to meet her

I might make this a series with other characters (similar to others villainess au series) like one story focuses on the Duke Vil or another person. The love interest would be a different version of "Yuu." Still goes by the same name, but it would not be the same Yuu as the one in this story.

Twisted Wonderland is the name of the world. There are 8 kingdoms (with Nocte Corvus aka Night Raven, plus the other countries). There are others like Gladius Regis (RSA) and City of Flowers that exist but are not the main focus

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingsholar x reader #leona x reader #leona x yuu #twst x reader #leona kingscholar

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tr0p1cal · 10 months

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cats got your tongue smau

eleven - always get what I want🖍️

word count: 1.2k+

➤ finding a cat in the alley beside the Star was not how you expected to end the worst day of your life, but maybe it’s just what you need to bring a little light back in on a gloomy day.

general warnings: sexual themes and language, cussing, mentions and consumption of alcohol, mentions of cheating and toxic relationships, kys/kms jokes

series master

master | prev | next

Parties were never your favorite thing. The loud music, sweaty dance floors, couples making out everywhere, drunk people doing stupid things left and right. Not your thing. While you could find ways to enjoy yourself, the whole college party atmosphere just wasn’t something you found to be fun. You preferred to find a quiet corner or be outside with the fresh air.

When you agreed to go to the party, you knew your friends would eventually ditch you to enjoy the actual party life, but it happened a lot faster than usual this time around. You couldn’t be mad at them for it, but it did make you wonder why you even agreed in the first place.

The kitchen was one of you favorite places to hang out in during parties. It was usually on the quieter side and people didn’t stay long, usually only there to grab a new drink. While some small groups might linger for a quick conversation, it wasn’t typically a hot spot for people to stay.

You weren’t the most outgoing person, but you were known for your warm personality that everyone seemed to love. Everyone knew you, but not personally. Outside of Jeongin and Seungmin, you didn’t have any genuine friends until Minho bulldozed his way into your life. Yeah, someone from a class might stop by and strike up a conversation, but nothing more than meaningless small talk or gossip.

A sigh escaped passed your lips as you grabbed a can of beer from a cooler on the kitchen counter. “Can’t believe they dragged me here just to ditch me,” you said quietly to yourself.

“Oh yeah, I know how that goes,” an unfamiliar voice startled you as you realized their presence next to you. A tall guy with adorable little dimples shined you a soft smile.

“Your friends ditched you too, huh?” You asked, returning a smile back to him.

He nodded and chuckled, presumably at the thought of the mentioned friends. “Always do.” He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “They party too hard for my liking, but still insist on dragging me along. I’d honestly rather be back home watching tv, but then they wouldn’t have someone to make sure they don’t die and get home safely.”

You laughed at the last comment, understanding where he’s coming from. “Thankfully only one of my friends is a big partier, but the other one is the reason behind all the dumb decisions. He wants to see the world burn, I swear.”

He laughed too. “Seems like we both have our fair share of headaches when it comes to our friends then.”

“Seems like it,” you agreed as you sipped your drink. “I’m Rain, by the way.”

He smiled, showing off his dimples once again. You couldn’t help but want to poke them. “Very nice to meet you, Rain. I’m Soobin.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus, what’s your major?” You asked curiously.

Before he got the chance to answer, a group of people came in, one going straight for Soobin.

“Yo bro, long time no see. How has everyone been? Is Yeonjun around?” You recognized him and knew you had to get out of there. Wooyoung, one of Mingi’s close friends, quickly took over the conversation with Soobin, leading him out of the kitchen.

You didn’t even have a chance to think before an arm was tossed over your shoulders. The familiar sensation throwing you back to all the times you longed for such a show of affection from the man you now despised. The only thing you could think about was a way to escape, but as you tried to pull away, his grip only tightened.

“Aww, come on, don’t be like that. I’ve missed you, pretty.” The use of your old nickname made you feel gross. Mingi had always been good with his words and knew just what to say to drag you back to him, but you finally escaped his charms. You didn’t see him with rose colored glasses anymore.

“Don’t call me that,” you hissed. “I have no obligation to stay and talk to you. Let go.” You glared at him and all he did was laugh.

“You really think anyone else would want something as damaged and worthless as you?” He held your arm tightly and moved to make you look at him. “You think Minho really cares about you?” He asked with a raised brow.

You knew he was just trying to rile you up. You knew he didn’t have any real insight into your life anymore. You knew, but his words still somehow effected you. Did you even care if Minho cared about you? The thought of him not being around you made your stomach feel weird. The thought of him not wanting you around terrified you in a way you never felt before. What did that feeling mean?

“You really think he likes you?” Mingi kept nagging in your ear as a million thoughts raced through your head.

“Get the fuck off of me, Mingi,” you almost yelled, trying your best to escape his grasp.

“I don’t think so.” He clicked his tongue as he smoothed down your messy hair. “You see, I actually need you to help me out with something.”

“Why do you think I’d want to do anything to help you?” The rage you felt was slowly taking over.

“Don’t you remember who my parents are, pretty?” The mention of his parents made you freeze.

“Oh, so you’re threatening me now?” You looked at him with disgust. You knew all too well what his parents and their people were capable of.

“You know I always get what I want,” he said with a grin, gently tapping your cheek. “Let’s just say if you don’t help me out, I can’t guarantee your friends’ safety.” He pointed through a doorway leading out to the living room. Following the gesture, you see Jeongin surrounded by some of Mingi’s friends.

You knew Mingi was crazy, but never imagined he’d go to these lengths. He knew he had all the control over you as long as you thought he would hurt your loved ones. He knew all too well just how much your friends meant to you.

“What’s it going to be, pretty?” Grabbing your chin to force your attention back to him, he already knew your answer.

“Do whatever you want with me, but don’t you fucking dare lay a finger on any of them.” You glared at him with all the energy you had left.

“Unblock me and I’ll give you all the details.” He winked, finally releasing you from his hold.

He disappeared along with all of his friends. You were mad. Madder than you’d been even after finding him sleeping with your old roommate. He helped you escape that world, but now he’s dragging you back in like it was all just some sick joke. You needed to get away from that party before you lost the remaining strings of composure loosely holding you together.

a/n: sorry not sorry for what’s happening in the story, but I am sorry for the random break! It really wasn’t intentional, I was just struggling a bit mental health wise and couldn’t bring myself to work on it🤡 hopefully should be back to the regular schedule tho!

tag list🏷

@thisrandombitch @lakeeeee @hanniemylovelyquokka @minniepoo143 @puppy-minnie @jiisungllvr @samhomo @clumsy-writing-rdb @skzhoes @gaysontheprince @miniature-tragedy

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gasolinerainbowpuddles · 1 year

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Fly Me To the Moon║ ⒸⓄⓁⓁⒺⒸⓉⒾⓄⓃⓈ

| FLY ME TO THE MOON | part of the A Weight Off Your Shoulders collection ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x plus sized!fem!neighbor

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 5.5k | CONTENT: age gap (Joel mid 40s, neighbor late 20s), struggles of body image and self-worth, Joel gives off some himbo and “he’s so babygirl” vibes (an absolute chef’s kiss of a combo), these two dorks are so down bad for each other it’s stupid

| SYNOPSIS: Joel convinces you to take a weekend trip together.

✧this is the fourth installment of a oneshot collection but can (probably? sort of?) be read as a standalone✧

✧◦◦║ Part 1 ║ Part 2 ║ Part 3 ║ Part 5 ║ Part 6 ║◦◦✧

“Damn, I can’t even remember, darlin’,” Joel drawls, thumbing circles against your leg absentmindedly as he looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Ppfftt. Years. Years.”

“And you were the one telling me that I needed a vacation?” you huff in a laugh.

“Time ain’t got nothin’ to do with it. I’m still right. You need a damn break,” he shoots back with firm but loving kindness.

The airport intercom buzzed with static overhead before an announcement by way of a way too chipper, absolutely-cannot-be-her-actual-voice informed you that your flight would begin boarding in 10 minutes.

“How’d you hear about this again? This deal package thing?” you ask.

“Buddy a’mine from work.” He’s studying the ticket in his hand and glancing at yours. He’d made you print yours out instead of just using the digital ones he’d been issued. Because of course he had. And in the same middle aged man fashion, he’d hauled you to the airport way too many hours before you actually needed to be there. You didn’t really mind, though. It just meant the two of you could sit and talk and relax for longer. A nice start to the quick 3 day vacation to Cabo San Lucas that Joel had all but insisted you take with him.

“Your work friends take cute little weekend trips to Cabo?” you snort.

Joel smirks at the tickets as he reads over them for the 5 millionth time to ensure all the details haven’t magically changed since the last time he checked them. He pushes his glasses up his nose from where they had steadily crept down.

That’s one of the things you’d learned about Joel early on. He wore contacts almost exclusively when he was working on major projects or during the busier time of year for contracting - “safer’n tryna stack safety goggles on top of some glasses” - but opted for some seriously unfairly adorable glasses the rest of the time. He looked good either way, of course.

You follow the line of his nose to where the bridge of it now correctly supports his frames. There was numerous things about Joel’s appearance that you loved, but his nose had snuck into the lineup at some point. Probably something to do with how much you loved when he’d drag it into you when he was lapping you up, the tip of it bumping and stimulating your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore and–

The announcement overhead informs you that the First Class flyers could “ready themselves for boarding at this time.”

“So do they? Bunch of manly, manly man men taking beach getaways?” you taunt.

He lifts an eyebrow and tears his gaze away from the tickets.

“No, just my dumbass buddy who’s on his third wife ‘n has managed to learn enough that a romantic gesture here ‘n there is a helluva lot cheaper than a divorce lawyer,” he chortles.

“Pretty good motivator, I guess,” you admit with amusement. “So what’s your excuse?”

“My excuse? For what? Bookin’ this trip?” he asks. You nod, and he shrugs.

“I’ll be honest with ya, I’m tryna get into this girl’s pants, and I think a coupla beachside margaritas’ll do the trick. She seems like a bit of a slut, to tell ya the truth, but that works out just fine ‘cause I’m a slut, too.” He wiggles his eyebrows theatrically and grins at you when you playfully swat his arm. He leans in closer and grips the inside of your thigh.

“Truth be told, I’m hopin’ to catch sight’a her in this lil pink stringy bikini I’m rather fond of,” he rasps into your ear. You erupt in goosebumps and half-heartedly nudge him away with a bad impression of a chiding look.

“Yeah, well, let’s hope there’s not any turbulence or else the only thing you’ll catch sight of is that girl with her head down the toilet for the rest of the night,” you deadpan.

Joel makes a dissenting noise and trades his grasp on your leg for your hand. “Baby, it’s alright. It’s not a long flight. Promise. I checked the weather and all that. Sunny. Not even a cloud out there. It’ll be alright,” he soothes.

You’d let him know ahead of time that you did not like flying. You wouldn’t go so far as deeming it a phobia, but flying in general made you anxious enough that any amount of turbulence was enough to set you off entirely. You were too embarrassed to share the other reasons of why you hated flying. Joel wouldn’t have made you feel bad about it if you had, but you hated that it was even a thing in the first place.

It was a commonly shared experience that flying was little more than “sardines packed into a tin can” that commoners just had to deal with. Then of course there was the lost luggage or the crying babies or the seating disagreements. Common ground for just about anybody who traveled enough. There was a reason why so many comedians had made airline and flying jokes their bread and butter.

Then there were the additional drawbacks for “passengers of size,” as they were so lovingly called by airlines. Those who carried “more than their share” of poundage being seated beside - or worse, in between - smaller passengers meant you ended up a source of annoyance. An easy, uniting point of focus for disgruntled flyers to project all their grievances onto. How dare you squash into the seat like the rest of us, except you’re bigger so it’s somehow a personal insult to them that you’d make an unpleasant experience even more so.

Because it was so preventable, right? Just be smaller. Eat less. Control yourself every once in a while. Put down the cheeseburger and go for a run every now and then. If you would just stop being so selfishly huge, the rest of us wouldn’t have to put up with your body spilling over into our seat. We wouldn’t have to deal with you shoving and squeezing past everybody because you don’t fit. You aren’t meant to be so big, that’s why you don’t fit. Take the hint and drop a few pounds. For our sake. For your sake.

Or at least have the decency to buy yourself two seats and spare us all the unpleasantries of being made to deal with your bad decisions, your lack of control, your lazy life that has made you too big. We shouldn’t have to pay for the consequences of your bad choices.

Yeah. You dreaded flying.

But how could you possibly put such a damper on this nice gesture from Joel? He’d been so eager and sweet to suggest it. He’d even bought the tickets before even talking to you so that he could guilt trip you into treating yourself to a vacation if you turned him down.

It didn’t take much convincing, though. The thought of Joel half naked and all to yourself for multiple days in a row clouded your judgment. Now that you were about to board, reality was sinking in fast. You tried your best to not let your anxiety get the better of you, but your leg was jumping up and down already.

Joel’s hand cupped the side of your face and turned you to look at him. “Hey, c’mon. I’m right here. I’ll stay beside you the whole time, alright? Get myself permanently banned from the airline when I pee into a water bottle instead’a gettin’ up to use the bathroom. Promise.” His playful attempt at distracting and comforting you works.

“That’s so gross, Joel,” you groan with a scrunched face.

“Just sayin. I’ll do whatever I hafta if it means you’re comfortable, baby,” he says in all sincerity. He brings your hand to his lips and trails a few kisses along your knuckles.

“Let’s go before I gotta chase you down and drag you onto this metal tube myself.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, feeling slightly more relaxed. You just hope nothing embarrassing happens in front of Joel. You don’t think you could stand that level of humiliation.

You hand your ticket to the woman, and she scans it wordlessly with a bored look. You walk ahead of Joel who calls for you to go ahead as he doubles back to the terminal seating where he’d dropped something from his pocket.

You move along the small boarding bridge until you reach a curve in it where you can step aside and allow others to pass. You notice the lingering looks from a few people. The tell tale “god, I hope I’m not seated next to her” expressions flashing before being politely buried and exchanged for a forced, tight-lipped smile.

Joel finally meanders along and gives you a quick peck before you both board. Joel is walking in first and puts both of your overhead luggage away in the bin. His bicep flexes with the movement, and you think to yourself you might just be able to distract yourself enough with certain things to make this flight go faster.

You glance around the plane as Joel finishes loading up the suitcases and closes the cover. The flight is packed. You don’t spot more than 7 empty seats, and there are people behind you. Great. You should’ve looked at your tickets closer like Joel had because maybe then you’d know if either of you had the aisle seat. At least that way you could shove some of yourself into the aisle and give everyone else more room.

“You first, honey,” he prompts, placing a gentle hand on your lower back.

“Um, I’ll just- I’d actually just rather sit in the aisle seat,” you say. “I don’t know if either one of our tickets–”

“I got the aisle seat on my ticket. You take it, baby.” He slides into the middle and pats the aisle seat beside him for you to sit down. You shimmy as gracefully as you can, praying that the armrests won’t dig into your sides too noticeably. You breathe a sigh of relief when you settle into the seat without having to fight the vice grip of metal bars on either side of you.

Joel lifts the armrests that divide the three seats. He wiggles with approval at the less confining arrangement and scoots closer to you.

“Mmmm thas’better,” he hums as he leans a kiss into the crook of your neck and grabs at the inside of your thigh again. His hand is working its way across your lower belly roll when you warn him under your breath to not get you worked up right now when you’re just gonna have to wait hours until he can do something about it. He doesn’t bother to hide the smug expression he’s wearing, all too proud of himself for getting you turned on so easily.

You anxiously await the arrival of the third person bound to put an end to the pretend private party you and Joel are having. You look around confused with a growing thrill when it appears that everyone has boarded the flight. The seat next to Joel’s is empty. You turn your neck to see if there are more open spots in the otherwise packed flight, but you can’t see any from where you’re sitting unless you stand to get a better view.

“I can’t believe we get the whole row to ourselves,” you whisper excitedly to Joel.

He smiles softly at you, taking a moment to soak up the shift in your mood where delight has taken the place of anxiety. “You must be a lucky charm, baby,” he coos before giving you a quick kiss.

It’s the usual spiel: exits are this way, put your own oxygen mask on first, don’t get up until the seatbelt sign goes off. Your last bit of nerves over securing the belt around yourself slip like grains of sand through open fingers when Joel leans over and buckles you in himself. As always, he plants a quick kiss on you before getting himself buckled.

He also unbuckles you once takeoff is done and everyone is “free to move about the cabin.” He cups your face, reminding you gently that he “told you it wasn’t gonna be too bad.” You grin at him. A small heat simmers from your chest to your cheeks at all the comfort and attention he’s showering on you, unaware of just how many things he’s helping you through.

When you repeatedly crane your head to look out the window, Joel asks if you still want the aisle seat.

“Oh. Sorry. I was just-No, I was just curious is all. The aisle seat is good,” you lie.

Of course you want to have the window seat. Everybody loves the window seat. It’s the best seat.

But you never get the window seat because that would mean you would be stuck in the corner, nowhere to lean your body to give others room, having to hold your pee because you can’t scoot past the other two seats and don’t want to be the spectacle of the fat girl making everyone else in your row get up so you can get out.

So, yeah. Aisle seat is fine.

Joel rolls his eyes at you and pokes your thigh. “You’re in my seat,” he says pointedly. You start to argue with him that no, seriously, it’s fine! you want the stupid aisle seat and not the much obviously better window seat, but then he decides to play dirty.

“I’mma call a stewardess over here and have her remove the unruly passenger that’s refusin’ to give me my seat,” he challenges with a playful jut of his chin towards you.

“OHMYGOD,” you huff. “FINE.”

Joel squeezes over and past you, and you shimmy over to the window.

“There is seriously something wrong with you, Joel,” you try to say as sternly as possible, but the wavering giggle in your tone gives you away.

“Shutup, baby, you love it,” he murmurs with a chuckle as he presses himself flush against the side of your back and rests his head on your shoulder. You both sit like that for a bit, looking out the window together with his hand holding yours in your lap.

The rest of the flight is over in record time after you amuse yourselves with the product catalogs in the seat pockets. You and Joel marvel at the dumbest shit that has ever been “invented,” and it somehow gets worse with each page. Joel mercilessly teased you at one point when you tried to hide your genuine interest at the lawn gnome that was fashioned like an accountant. Well, a banker. But still. Close enough in looks and all. And it was only $47.99 plus shipping and handling. Okay, that was an awful price for such a tacky, cheap garden decor item, but it was cute.

He still wouldn’t let it go after you landed and made your way towards the exit. “So lemme get this straight,” he starts with a devilish edge in his voice. “You give me grief for my ‘middle age man bullshit’ like, I dunno, gettin’ to the airport early enough so you’re on time for a flight, but I’m not supposed’ta say anythin’ about you tryna order from a damn airplane catalog?”

“Joel, you told me one time The Eagles made better music than Nirvana,” you scoff in defense of your position.

“That’s not what I said!” he huffs right back.

You only have yourself to blame for the 6 minute Now That’s What I Call Dad Rock! explanation that followed with all the “complex layers” that “determine good bands from bad bands.” Joel was quick to drop the subject entirely when you casually mention that you knew he had Black Eyed Peas in his iTunes library.

“Sarah must’a added that. Don’t even know what that is.” The nervous neck scratch and patchy pink on his cheeks suggested otherwise.

When you finally made it to your hotel, you can’t believe you’d ever considered not coming. Joel confesses that he upgraded the existing package for a “villa suite.” You considered lecturing him over “wasting his money on you,” but you settled for a “thank you” and a kiss when you correctly reminded yourself that this was for both of you.

You feel the hot burn of overwhelming contentment in your gut as you watch Joel list off all the activities included in the package. The snorkeling, sunset yacht cruise, and jet skiing all sound fun. The horseback riding, parasailing, and kayaking stand out as the biggest NOPEs for fat girls.

Joel calls down to the front desk to arrange the sunset yacht cruise for the two of you a few hours from now. He wants to shower - “fuckin’ airplane oxygen makes my skin crawl” - and you wave him off as you help yourself to some fruit the staff has left for you on a decadent looking platter arrangement. You hear the water cut on in the shower. You open the sliding panoramic glass doors to listen to the water from the beach that makes up most of your view.

You feel cliche the moment you think it, but you really do feel like you’re in paradise. Not just the location, either. Here, with Joel. Who pushed you to do something spontaneous and fun and spendy. Who comforted you the entire plane ride. Who made you feel special. Who still hadn’t pressured you to put a label on your relationship and seemed content that you were mutually exclusive and just needed more time to adjust to the idea of getting into another serious relationship so soon after you broke off your engagement with your shitbag ex Michael.

Another side of you was nervous for this trip because it was a very undeniable “couple in a serious, longterm, committed relationship” move. Not that Joel had ever mentioned it as such or even made you feel that way. It was all in your own head, like most of the things that held you back from doing what made you truly happy.

You shake your head and decide you’re going to focus on the amazing time ahead of you. Just as soon as you can get the price of your plane ticket from Joel so you could balance your digital register and pay him back. You’d talked him into letting you split the cost of the hotel package, but then he’d gone and upgraded it to this villa. You felt antsy about your airline ticket still being outstanding when you know Joel must’ve spent a good chunk of change for this nicer, more secluded lodging option.

“Hey, babe?” you call into the bathroom. He answers back with a watery yeah?

“Hey, how much did you say the ticket was? For the flight?”

A beat or two of silence. “Uhhh, I dunno off the top’a my head, baby. I can tell ya when I get out of the shower, though. Be just about 10 minutes, okay?”

“Alright,” you call back.

You turn and walk back into the bedroom portion of the villa. You see Joel’s clothes discarded on the floor. His phone, belt, and wallet littered on the neatly made king size bed. A thought crosses your mind that makes you smile. You pick up Joel’s phone and stare at the lockscreen. You didn’t know his password, but you didn’t have to. He’d unlock it for you if you ever asked to borrow it for a second. He wasn’t anything like the “suspiciously protective of their things” guys you’d been with before who didn’t want you to go through anything of theirs, especially electronics.

You hum to yourself and take a bite of pineapple. You’ve just come up with a little game, a test for yourself, to see if you can guess Joel’s password without any help from him. Worst case scenario it’d lock you out for a little bit and you’d have to wait to get your ticket price. Best case scenario you prove to yourself and to him that you know him like the back of your hand. That, and you can check his email for the flight receipt.

Hhmmmmm. Seven numbers. Must be Sarah’s doing. Joel wouldn’t go out of his way to add more digits to a passcode just to make it harder to get into. Path of least resistance was Joel’s general approach to technology. You take a bite of a strawberry. Then a mango. Oh my god, this shit is delicious. Fresh fruit had to be one of the best things on earth.

Seven. Seven. Seven. Hhhmmmmmmmm.

Your face lights up. You know it. You know his passcode. It HAS to be this. You’d wager a good amount of money that you’re correct. You start to punch in the numbers.

8 0 0 8 1 3 5

It unlocks the second you hit the 5. You let out a victorious cackle. This DORK. Of course his password is “boobies” in numerical form. Of fucking course it is. Just when you think you can’t fall for this man any more than you already have, he goes and has that for his phone passcode.

“Fuckin’ perv,” you giggle to yourself with immense delight.

You are giggling and smiling to yourself as you click open his email. You scroll down until you see the airline name and then tap it open. Your brow furrows. The giggle that had been bubbling up your throat goes away in an instant. You don’t notice the sound of the shower being turned off or the rustling of Joel toweling himself off.

Joel’s words from earlier echo in your mind. “I’ll do whatever I hafta if it means you’re comfortable, baby.”

You stare at the screen, scrolling up and down and back again to make sure you’re reading it correctly.

“Everything okay? You aren’t answerin’ me,” Joel asks from the bathroom doorway.

You turn towards him, and he can now see you clutching his unlocked phone in your hand. The glow of it reflects off your glossed eyes where tears are prickling at the brim. A look of realization from Joel.

“Baby, I– Please just let me–” he starts in a hurry.

“You bought three plane seats? You bought the whole row?” you squeak out.

“I’m– I did, but it wasn’t–”

“Why’d you do that?” you demand. You already know why.

“Baby, listen. It’s not like that! I knew you’d be annoyed at me putting up the money for first class, so I just did it this way instead. You weren’t supposed’ta find out,” he implores.

He slowly approaches you, sensing the teetering mood that’s been set. His eyes are searching yours and begging for forgiveness all at once.

“First class? Because of, because they’re bigger seats? And-And a whole row so a third person didn’t have to squeeze in? So just me and you could sit together in the row?” you mumble.

You make a frustrated noise when you start replaying the day.

“Oh my god. The pocket. Your thing you said you dropped from your pocket? That you went back into the terminal to get? You didn’t even drop anything! Did you? You just needed to make sure I couldn’t see the lady scan two tickets!”

Joel swallows thickly and looks like he has no idea what to do or say.

Something akin to embarrassment threatens to take hold of you, but instead an overwhelming sense of love and security takes its place. Joel wanted to buy you First Class seats for a more comfortable flight, but he knew you’d get stuck on him spending that sort of money. So instead he bought an extra seat in economy class just so you could have enough room to move around comfortably. So you’d have a good flight. So you’d have a good start to the amazing weekend trip he’d planned.

“I-I did it because I-I just wanted you to have a good flight and be comfortable. Please, it’s not what you’re thinking. I know you get anxiety flyin’, and nobody fits good in those stupid seats anyway.” He’s a bit more frantic in his explanation now that you’re just staring at him, blinking slowly. He grabs your hands in his.

“Please. Please. Don’t be mad at me. Please,” he begs.

“Mad? At you?” You’re confused. Joel thinks you’re mad at him. For doing one of the most considerate things anyone has ever done for you and without any prompting. Somebody who’d probably never been more than 10 pounds “overweight” their entire life. Somebody who had no lived experience occupying a fat body. Somebody who because of those things would have to care deeply for someone to think of them in such an intimate, personal context. To even consider what their experiences were like. To imagine how they might be able to do something to make those experiences safer, nicer, more palatable for them. Joel had come up with this idea because he cared about you that much.

His head shifts sideways, sharing in the confusion. “Aren’t you?” he wonders.

“That is… the nicest thing… that anyone has ever–,” you break off when your voice cracks with emotion.

Joel’s expression softens when he gathers you aren’t furious with him. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before opening them again and wrapping your arms around Joel’s middle.

“No. I’m not mad. At all. You… You’re … Just.. I just….” You shake your head as you look up to him. Trying to collect yourself and your thoughts feels like the hardest thing that’s ever been done in the history of doing hard things.

He shakes his head back at you. “You can– You’re allowed to be upset with me. I shoulda told you. I shoulda just told you the truth. I just didn’t want for you to, I dunno. Didn’t want you to feel embarrassed or somethin’. Not that you should feel embarrassed. Just that I thought you might feel embarrassed ‘bout it. ‘Cause of nerves or how you’d fit in the seats. Didn’t want you feelin’ self-conscious about any of it. Jus’ wanted you to be comfortable. Thought it was the best way to go about it, s’all. I know it was dumb. Shouldn’t’a kept it from you.”

“Take this stupid towel off,” you order.

“I-what?”

The quick turn in the conversation stuns Joel for a moment. You don’t wait for him to catch up. You shove the towel off his hips and let it drop to the floor. You walk him backwards until the backs of his knees hit the bed. A hard shove lands him onto his back against the soft mattress.

“The hell?” he mutters. There’s confusion in his tone but zero resistance to the surprising but welcome turn of events.

He’s sprawled out against the large bed, and you take the opportunity of his wide spread to start licking anywhere and everywhere. His hips buck at the first pass of your flat tongue against his balls.

“Gahh-Goddamn. Fuck. The fuck is goin’ on?” he rasps.

You laugh at his suspended disbelief and bewilderment as you slurp both of his balls into your mouth and start a pull of light suction on them. A whiny moan grumbles in his throat at the sensation.

You release him and let the slobber drip down your chin. “M’showin’ you how not mad I am at you.”

His eyes roll back when you take his entire length into your mouth with one motion. His hips jerk when you bottom out.

“Ooohhh-hngggg jesusfuckinchrist,” his voice crackles and strains. You work his length with such fervor that your drool is running down his shaft, dripping onto the curly brown hairs at his base, sliding in hot streaks down his ass on either side of his ballsack. You so rarely got to please him like this. He always preferred you riding his face or letting him titty fuck you. You hadn’t really ever shown him your particular skillset in this department, but you were sure as hell gonna clear that up today.

“Ba-Baby. Agh fuck. Lemme tast–” Joel is sputtering through his sentence, but it drops off entirely when you start to jerk him off and bury your tongue into his asshole. His legs snap up into a loose bend at the knee. His hand flies to the top of your head.

“OH FUCK,” he blurts out, raising his hips off the bed slightly for you to have better access.

You trade off between rolling your tongue with firm presses against his hole and darting as much of your tongue as you can inside of it, and he sounds borderline hysterical. You move up to his balls again and suck them into the vacuum of your mouth more urgently than before. By the time you make it back up to his dick, he is blabbering absolute nonsense.

“Gah-jus’ wanna— hhhngggg, oh fuck haahhhhhh, christ— if I wanna – but wanna fuck your–”

A strangled moan cuts his incoherent musings off. The fact that this man thinks he can last long enough to fuck you? In the state you’ve whipped him into? Actually hilarious. He’s about to spiral, and you’re almost done showing him how not mad you are. You know what will get him there, and quick.

“Joel, shut the fuck up already and turn my throat into a daycare,” you growl.

“JESUS CHRIST, YOU’RE GONNA FUCKIN’ END ME,” he practically sobs when you take him into your mouth again.

You bob the tip of his head in your throat and massage his balls. His entire body stiffens as he grabs for your hair. He makes a sort of pained noise just before you feel him twitching inside your mouth. The loud, distress-adjacent moans ripping from his chest are almost enough to make you get off, too.

You work him through his release, swallowing and bobbing as his spend shoots into your throat. You don’t stop until he gently pulls you off of him.

You are a complete mess. Slobber and cum dripping and sliding every which way. You couldn’t give less of a shit. Joel’s astonished, blissed out look right now makes your day. You wished your phone was closer to you could snap a picture of him, looking like he’d just seen a sleep paralysis demon do a long division math problem before running off to play hopscotch with some Keebler Elves.

“You okay?” you laugh as you crawl up next to him and wrap your arms around his neck. He turns to look at you with wide-eyed awe. You can’t help but crack up at his astonishment.

“You’re acting like nobody’s ever sucked your dick before, Joel,” you gibe.

“NOT LIKE THAT THEY HAVEN'T.” His voice perfectly compliments his expression. Bewildered. Satisfied. Reverent.

You laugh again. You made mental notes of your performance. Save that routine in your back pocket and bust it out when you need it. A real “BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY” type blowjob. Always a good thing to have.

“Told you I wasn’t mad,” you titter. You place wet kisses against his neck and snuggle closer. He relaxes against the bed and slowly comes back to his senses. You feel his chest shake with a laugh.

“What? What’s so funny?” you demand.

“Turn my throat into a daycare?” he echoes your words back to you. He sniffs an impressed, incredulous laugh through his nose. “Absolutely foul, Roxanne.”

You bark a laugh at his use of your full name. You could probably count on one hand the times he’d used it, and it was always when he was being very serious about something. The fact that he’d used it in this context felt like the funniest thing you’d ever heard in your life. When your rolls of laughter subsided, you took him to task on his declaration of you being “foul.”

“Uuuhhhhh, that’s real rich coming from the guy who has BOOBIES for his passcode! If I’m a pervert, then you’re a pervert,” you assert.

“Damn, guess you’re right,” he tuts. “Sounds like we really deserve each other.”

Your breath catches, and you lock eyes with one another. You don’t think he meant for it to sound as meaningful as it did. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times before settling for silence. His face is so open yet impossible to read.

“Yeah. I think you’re right. I think we do deserve each other,” you agree in a low voice and a shy smile.

Joel wordlessly brings your mouth to his and captures you in a slow, deep kiss. It feels like he’s saying whatever it was that he couldn’t just a few moments ago. For now you greedily take what he’s able to communicate, but you know eventually you’ll both have to work up the nerve to talk about it and say all the things you’ve been saying through touches and gifts and looks and gestures and acts of service.

But for right now, you’re just going to take the time to enjoy what’s right in front of you.

me, to the characters I am writing and putting into the very specific situations I'm reading: OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU TWO JUST KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY AND ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER

me, before anyone can ask why this is being posted before the sub!Joel fic that was supposed to come out next:

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

#fic: a weight off your shoulders #joel miller #joel miller x plus size reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller hbo #tlou fic #the last of us fanfiction #oneshots

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godofclosure · 20 days

Text

TOA Anniversary Munday!!

I, too, have stolen this from Neffi. I’m sorry you keep getting robbed crime has truly become such an epidemic in TOA it’s a shame really. Will no one keep our streets safe 😔 (if it wasn’t obvious that was a joke ty neffi)

Name: Metal

Pronouns: She/Her

Birthday (no year): 10/6

Where are you from? What is your time zone? PST! (So like 3 hours ahead of TOA time), AMERICA RAAAAHHHHHHH‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🦅🦅💥💥

How long is your roleplay experience? That. Is complicated. Not entirely sure but let’s just go with 3 years i think.

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? Okay so like looking back I was totally roleplaying with friends in elementary school via text but like we didn’t call it that so that didnt even register until I’d already been in TOA for a year so idk if that counts

How were you introduced to TOA? Mindlessly scrolling the Fire Emblem Three Houses tag and for some reason some random acceptance post caught my attention and then I couldn’t stop thinking about it

Do you have any pets? One dog, two cats!! Do not ask for pictures you will never stop receiving them this is for your own good

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) Winter because the bugs are dead and I can live without fear!!! (+ I live in some weird climate vortex where the temperature never gets lower than 60 or higher than 80 so I don’t have to deal with whatever temperature nonsense is going on everywhere else)

What is your IRL occupation? Student x2 😔

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? Hatsune Miku has me in a death grip. My world is a shrine to her being. So is yours. So is everyone. Hatsune Miku is all. The world is hers. SEKAAAIIIII DE—

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Genshin, pjsk, pokemon, sometimes I stare longingly at persona 3 but I haven’t had time to actually play it yet, whatever random farming game has decided to trap me in my room for the next month straight

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Fire and Torchic :)

How did you get into Fire Emblem? I’m ashamed to say I’m one of the smash players who was confused by the random anime men 😔 at some point mentioned it to a friend while playing and he was like “oh the mobile game is a good starting point” and forced me to download it which started the spiral (my disappointment when I learned Sakura is not actually a cat and it was just a Halloween alt was immeasurable)

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Three Houses, Heroes, Fates (all three), Awakening, Engage (+I own Shadows of Valentia but I haven’t opened it I’m sorry I’m a fake fan)

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: First: Heroes 😔 but if that doesn’t count then Birthright, Favorite: Three Houses

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! No particular order: Edelgard, Plumeria, Líf, Yuri, Kagetsu

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! Ashe. I have no idea why. I do not feel this way now I forget he exists frequently sorry buddy

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: First: Chrom (accident, wanted Henry), Now: Chrom (on purpose)- Fates: First: Jakob, Now: Kaden- Three Houses: First: Ashe, Now: Yuri- Engage: Kagetsu. And I’d do it again. Love that guy.

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Dark Flier

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? I want to say “random village npc that lives a peaceful life and doesn’t get involved in the war” but every school I’ve ever been to has had the stupid house system so I cannot deny the truth. I am random academy phase npc that dies on the first mission.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Realistically Golden Deer but my heart lies with you beagles

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Boons: Reason & Riding, Banes: Faith & Gauntlets, Budding Talent: Heavy Armor

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? Probably Firene if only because I would die in any other climate

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 letters. It took me months to understand why everyone kept talking about toasters

Current TOA muses: Elise and Embla!!

Past TOA muses? Constance, Sothis, Kaden, Kagetsu

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Constance, but I don’t see that happening. The more I looked into her character the more I made connections to stuff irl that I felt like I didn’t have the right to talk about and that fear of accidentally offending someone slowly killed her off

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? I have three moods: “blonde girl that dyes her hair purple sometimes”, “hyperactive man”, and “what”

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? Plumeria my beloved writing you would make me so uncomfortable which is technically IC but I can’t put myself through that I’m sorry girl I’m not strong enough

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I like the silly. I do very much enjoy the drama of course also though. Haha emotional pain :)

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? TOAAAAA!!!! DROP AN ASKR MUSE, AND MY LIFE, IS YOURS. (No pressure to anyone though of course!)

Favorite TOA-related memories? So many. Too many. Cannot list them all here this is long enough as is. I love you TOA :)

Normal size text, small text, no preference? Small text is too much effort for me but I don’t ever notice the difference unless it’s right next to normal text tbh

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 He lurks. Every day he grows stronger. I don’t know how long I can fight off his return. He has a sword and he is strong and he knows it. Also Metodey for some reason??

#˖°. ࣪𖤐 — Metal has something to report! {OOC}#//not to be sappy or whatever but happy anniversary toa i love you i just needed an outlet to say that okay bye back to the draft trenches

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celestialseph · 2 years

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september fic recs!

hi hi hi! this is my first fic rec list, and i am so excited to share it with you all! here's my little collection of my favorite fics/imagines/things that won't leave my head at the moment, enjoy!

*my blog is 18+, and so are most of these stories, minors, shoo*

eddie munson

worlds apart by @munsons-maiden - a heartbreaking, yet still fluffy au where you're a victim of the mind flayer, and it's sole survivor during starcourt. eddie's path crosses with yours, and you fall head over heels, but vecna has other plans. you have to put your fears aside to save eddie from jason and his crew, all while trying to fight vecna's grip on you. (i cannot recommend this series enough. it had me crying, laughing, and kicking my feet like a kid in love. a must-read eddie fic!)

days of the week by @munson-trashcan - a series where you and eddie are enemies.... who like to take to take your hate out on each other.... by fucking each other. (this series is phenomenal! the twists may have broken me, but i would pay anything to be able to read it all again for the first time.)

pile of polaroids by @creme-bruhlee - series summary: eddie gets a great idea to take pictures while he fucks you, and you can't say no to an offer like that. (i've read this upwards of ten times and i am not ashamed, it's that good.)

encore, ring, and star by @mypoisonedvine - a trilogy where you're a rockstar, eddie's a groupie, and (sexual) chaos ensues. (this is one of my favorites aus of all time, and i ate this shit up like i hadn't eaten in ten years. highly, highly recommend.)

love letters by @creme-bruhlee - series summary: after you receive a series of anonymous love letters, eddie has a confession to make that might make or break your whole friendship. (SO cute. i want to squeeze eddie's cheeks in this and kiss him until he can't breathe.)

you made me hate this city by @marvelsswansong - series summary: It was just a stupid bet. A way to prove Jason and his asshole friends wrong, to finally get under the blonde’s skin. It was never supposed to end with Eddie falling in love, nor with him laying on your doorstep with bruised knees, begging for your forgiveness. (adorable, heartbreaking, funny, everything you could want. it'll break your heart, but put it right back together in the end.)

the price of a kiss by @spiderrrling - summary: You start trading Eddie little nick knacks for kisses. (the definition of tooth-rotting fluff if i've ever seen it. seriously the cutest thing ever.)

dealer's choice and double down by @ohcaptains - your dealer’s always been a bit sweet on you – giving you deals and letting you try out new shit. he even lets you make house calls! and pick the music, and sit on his lap…and…

angel face by @sunflowergirl522 - summary: Eddie takes Dustin to pick up his sister from the airport and is surprised with seeing his long ago best friend.Eddie takes Dustin to pick up his sister from the airport and is surprised with seeing his long ago best friend. (i cried over how fucking precious this story is. i also now call my cat "angel face" because of it.)

what are friends for by @munson-trashcan - summary: Eddie has always come to you, his best friend, with all of his problems, but his latest one might just wreck your friendship

can i borrow your bed? 1 and 2 by @hard-candy-writing - you just got your first vibrator and are eager to try it out, but your house has thin walls and no privacy. luckily, your best friend eddie has graciously offered his room to you.

made for lovin' you by @xechowritesx - summary: after years of silently pining for your best friend, you finally accept a date at your favorite dive bar. but things never go as planned, do they? alternatively, jealous eddie, too many whiskey shots, and a friendship shattering, almost confession that leads to some delicious smut.

masterlist from @peterthepark - this one's a masterlist link because i don't want to make this post a decade long by listing all of the eddie fics from them! so damn into you and little witch are my top two, but i cannot express enough how good everything is.

masterlist by @indouloureux - same as the last! everything is brilliant and you should read it all.

catholic!reader x eddie munson by @prettyboyeddiemunson - another masterlist link because i can't get enough of these ideas.

steve harrington

sweet peach by @s-brant - summary: An inside joke started by Eddie turns into torment for Steve when his girlfriend, Y/N, joins in on it. On a night out with their friends, his long-buried frustration comes to a head.

curiosity is killing me by @thefreak-thebanished - summary: When sleepovers with your best friend become a ruse for her sneaking her own boyfriends in, it's not your fault that the only other distraction is her brother...

steddie

meddle about by @peterthepark - summary: back home from school, you recount about your time away in college with steve and eddie, leading to a sexual proposition that you never would’ve expected.

no i in threesome 1, 2, 3, and 4 by @corrodedhawkins - a game of truth or dare leads to a secret about you wanting steve too to come out.

wild parts 1, 2, and 3 by @xdirtyx - summary: You and Steve dated before Eddie asked you out and Eddie couldn't help but feel like there was potential for some fun on the horizon. Shenanigans ensue.

perfect penmanship by @carol-munson - prompt: 'What if reader accidentally found eddies book and saw all of the things he wants to do to her and planned for her when steve was gone for that weekend. She would be on edge every time he was near her and she would get a funny feeling in her tummy anytime he so much looked at her. Eddie probably takes notice and does little things to get her reaction.'

imagines/blurbs

steve and eddie fucking you at steve's summer house on spring break 1 and 2 by @sunflowersteves

eddie x chrissy x reader by @poppy-metal

nancy having a pretty pussy by @poppy-metal

love will tear us apart by @unfortunate-brat

scream au by @poppy-metal

chrissy x reader experimenting, perv eddie by @indouloureux

chrissy being a curious best friend by @lovewheeler

perv eddie 1 and 2 by @mypoisonedvine

steve having a massive cock by @eddiebaghetti

eddie x inexperienced reader by @indouloureux

eddie and anal by @mysticmunson

steve being rough for the first time by @indouloureux

dom nancy by @indouloureux

squirting with eddie by @corrodedhawkins

#stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steddie x reader #steddie #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler #chrissy cunningham x reader #chrissy cunninham #fic recs

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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 2 years

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So...

Do you guys know that thing about creative writers with ideas (plot bunnies) and how they always seem to multiply one after the other? That's me with Twisted Wonderland AUs. I can't help it! The series just reminds me of all the stories I loved as a kid, with characters that had depth and / or developed or we got to learn more about--even if it was stupid little things they do in their everyday life! I've grown to appreciate it in ways I never imagined I could any form of media. ;;v;;

To be honest...this game has given me the creativity to consistently create and build upon ideas, and the support you all have given me has meant so much. I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me for so long, and for sending me all the ideas or scenarios you all have been daydreaming of. ;;v;;

So I wanted to give a bit of an update on a few things I'm going to do with the blog:

1) Create a rules page. I've gone far too long without updating my original set, and I feel it's long overdue 😂 Plus, it'll help me keep track of certain things!

2) Go back through and update the links on the Masterlists with posts I may have missed. I didn't realize that some things I was referencing in some of my latest posts (aka the grape incident in the monster!AU) were missing, so I'm gonna comb through my posts and make sure I label and organize them easier for you guys to find (and for me to refresh myself on what I write)!

3) Answering asks (of course). Things are a little slow going and my muse has been getting finicky with me, but I will make sure I get to everyone's asks! Some I may answer because they're quick and easy, others...I may end up getting an idea for something more expansive, so that'll take a bit longer. 😅

And finally, 4) Introducing a(nother) AU:

Twisted Wonderland!Mermaid AU!!!

Honestly, this started because I got inspired by the artwork by this artist here where they drew the characters based on Floyd's nicknames for them, and it started as a Marine Biologist AU where Yuu is a marine biologist and taking care of the mermaid bois (all 22 boys + one fire-breathing cat) buuuuuut...at the moment, Yuu getting shipwrecked and living on the island with the mermaid boys wouldn't leave me alone. 😂

As well as an idea where Yuu is a full-blooded Kaiju/born a Kaiju and has Land Before Time like adventures because I got emotional at baby Littlefoot hatching, but who's counting the ideas? Certainly not me!

Anyway, I wanted to share a snippet of the prologue I have written that's currently under construction, so the final product may differ. I'm honestly really excited about this AU too, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do~ ;;v;;

Snippet under a read-more because this post is going to be long anyway 😂 Enjoy!

Oh, and if I need to tag it a certain way for future posts, please let me know and I'll be sure to add them!

//////------------//////

If anyone were to ask Yuu what they were going to be doing over the summer, they likely would have told them: catch up on their reading, or playing video games, or any number of different things they had planned. Even just relaxing at home or on the beach would have been an enticing offer.

A scuba diving trip was not something they expected to get dragged into.

“First time diving?”

“Was it that obvious?” Yuu asked, one hand gripping the bar on the seat next to them until their knuckles were white while the other kept hold of the oxygen tank sitting in front of their flippered feet.

“Yeah…kinda obvious for a first timer,” the instructor said with a chuckle, the man giving them a reassuring pat. “It can be a bit nerve-wracking for new divers, but you’ll be fine. You’re one of the contest winners, right?”

“I put my name in as a joke, I didn’t think I’d actually win!” Peering over the edge of the railings, Yuu couldn’t make out anything in the dark water. “I…thought we were going to dive near the shallows closer to land. What are we doing so far out?” they asked, swearing they saw a big shadow pass by…only to realize it was the ship’s frame reflecting on the water.

“I know we’re a lot further out than we normally would for first time divers, but we had problems with our normal ship and the only one that was available was this ship a couple of marine biologists were using.”

“…why didn’t you just cancel and set it for another day?”

“Try telling that to my bosses,” the man muttered under his breath before the smile was back on his face. “Anyway, I think this will be a fun change to the program! These biologists are actually working to explore the reactions of marine life to musical instruments, and we’ll get to see it firsthand ourselves!”

Before Yuu could respond, the ship came to a stop and the driver said, “We’re here! You folks ready to go diving while we get set up? There’s a coral reef not far below us, so you’ll have plenty of time to sightsee.”

“Yup! Okay, so let’s go over the basics again, and I’ll make sure your gear is on properly.”

Yuu listened nervously as the instructor walked through each procedure and rule of diving, the wetsuit sticking tightly to their body as the tank weighed heavily on their back. This was not how they imagined their first time scuba diving would be—they could barely even make out the shore from a wave in the distance. Finally—with mask secured and breathing apparatus in—the instructor gave them a reassuring nod…before falling backwards into the water with a ‘sploosh!’. For a brief moment they froze, but the motion of the ship and the weight on their back knocked them off balance and forced them backwards.

Fwoosh!!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland mermaid au #twst mermaid au #Faun has lots of ideas and not enough patience to sit and focus on one without burning out #but seriously thank you all so much #you’ve all made me remember why I loved writing and finding that spark I thought I had lost years ago to perfectionism ;;v;;

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ladythornofrivia · 1 year

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my heavenly salvation

Pair: Levi x Reader

Warnings: This series is going to be contain with fluff. Too much fluff. And smut. With mentions of self-harm, mentions of depression. Psychological abuse and bullying. Inspired by the Titanic movie.

A/N: Hi! I have return from my great slump! When writing a chapter, in life, anything is possible. Question of the day, do you prefer Leonardo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt?

(Please report if anyone decides to steal/plagiarize my work and notify me. Thank you.)

youtube

Chapter II

In the Land of Enemies

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The Goliath ship has sailed farther from the civilization.

First class looked at the interior ship with admiration. White marble and teal and earthy tones are well-coordinated. People from the first class whispered with well-praised comments hung in the air.

Meanwhile, your aristocratic mother, Gertrude O’Connell, on the other hand, couldn’t—wouldn’t—stop nagging about the thick stench in the air inside the Goliath ship. The brand new scent overwhelmed her. Being an indoor, fancy-loving, perfume-loving luxury was quite terrible. Your eyes kept glancing at her, watching her face turned green whilst shielding her hand with an ivory handkerchief ruffled around her mouth, ready to wretch her gut and vomit at anytime. Perhaps the smell of sea has rocked Gertrude’s digestive system.

She kept clinging onto you like a cat terribly soaked in bath, sharp claws holding onto its dear life. Bone and skin onto your arm never felt terrible, as if your arm is about to amputate from the lack of blood flow your mother tends to grip tight like an iron shackle.

You felt no better of it, either. Despite being on board, your head and chest felt light. Luckily, there were sweets and compliments of drink that could soothe you and the lingering trap lurking and looming over your stature.

Taking the candy from your purse and into your mouth, a hand slapped the candy across the floor from your hand.

“Mother,” you said, stern.

“You’re going to gain severe consequences if you keep eating things that’ll make you look undesirable and unbearable to admire at from afar,” Gertrude lectured.

Pulling your arm away, Gertrude snapped your arm back into her clutch, nails digging it deeper, making you flinch and hiss between your clenched teeth.

“Don’t make me cause a scene in this ship, (y/n),” Gertrude threatened. “Don’t make me cry, (y/n). Don’t make me upset. You know what’s best for you. Your relatives and my aristocratic friends knows what’s best for you. Unlike your father who left his numerous debts and scandals before he passed on from this world with his wicked and selfish ideas. Your father is nothing more than a stupid, gullible, good-for-nothing man that needs to be put down like a sick, useless dog.”

“It was never his fault that you chose to be so cruel to him by painting him in a bad light.”

“So conceited and a cry-baby, like you. When are you ever going to stop making these accusations?”

You sighed. “You always say that to me, too, dear mother.” Finally, you retrieved your arm back and strode ahead from Gertrude and collect more candy from the little shop nearby—two more peppermint candies, and a large size chocolate bars that is the same size as your hand. You thanked the man and gave him spare change before putting candies in the purse, but leave one peppermint candy out, unwrapping it and nibbled the candy in front of Gertrude’s eyes with mischief. Then chewed the crisp and sweet texture in between your perfect teeth.

Gertrude nearly fainted. But before you could spare a moment of amusement, the trumpet horned and startled the first class passengers. As usual, everyone clapped. A stupid reason to clap for. For anything that you have seen, this was no surprise to you.

Rich people are that bored.

You’re an established-born aristocrat yourself, but you couldn’t help but to look down on others who clapped at the most mundane things that crossed into everyone’s lives once in a while—or everyday life. Though you couldn’t blame them. After the Rumbling incident, what everyone wanted is to forget and go back to the things that they were before. Before Eren Yeager’s invasion—

“May I present, His Majesty, Zeke Yeager, son of Grisha Yeager and Dina Fritz,” the announcer boomed.

Once again, the bustling onlookers made a thunderous clap. You watched Gertrude clapped alongside others with a most insincere enthusiastic smile. While they all gave Zeke Yeager a warm welcome, there’s something beneath those radiant smiles and twinkling eyes, stood tall and proud, watching Zeke Yeager entered the bright scene.

One thing’s for sure. They’re still all afraid of the Yeager brothers. Shaken with fear, but masked it with a friendly grin and gaze.

“And last, but certainly not least, we’re honored to represent our next guest, who contributed his establishment and provide great profit for the Goliath and the spare for more 30 lifeboats. Not only he has excellence in leadership, but also has repaired our lands that once led to a great ruination. He saved us, from the wars and the land we once feared and fought for many centuries has brought to an end. I welcome you, the Conqueror of all Titans and soldiers, the Usurper, Eren Yeager.”

The long shadow is casted before the tall figure represents himself before a large audience. You have never seen Eren Yeager. Whenever you hear the name Eren Yeager, your mind envisioned of an older man with scars on his face and an eye patch covered on one eye—bulky yet old and thinly, white hair slicked back—having a possibility of being Zeke’s malignant father. But you never expected Eren Yeager to enter the scenery to present himself.

A tall young man though a bit taller than Zeke. And unlike Zeke Yeager’s appearance, Eren has broody and intimidating countenance. Bowing before others, a dark, long hair swept over his visage as the angle of his bright teal eyes are filled with blight beneath his darkened locks that sharpened and shadowed his features. His posture and mannerisms are preserved with steadiness, but underneath all that sophistication, Eren held something quite alarming.

Feigned with suspicion, regardless, you shook your superstitions aside as you try to retain yourself by clapping alongside the people beside you. Though you didn’t do it for Gertrude or any idiots in the ship, of course.

“Enjoy this beloved ship. Goliath is meant to rule over the seas, just as any ship would. We meant to sail ourselves to glowing horizon, farther than you can ever imagine,” Zeke said with a bright, childish smile. “May our future be filled with grace and prosperity. And it will all start here in this ship we built—Goliath.”

Everyone cheered at his shared wisdom.

How pretentious…

So you filled your appetite with the pleasures of sweets that you afforded not too long ago.

~~~

Levi couldn’t stand Zeke Yeager’s smile any longer. He hasn’t fulfill his promise to Erwin. It felt like part of it was his fault. No matter how he tried to forget, forgiveness wasn’t option. As a great leader of the Survey Corps, as Erwin’s most trusted comrade, has failed him.

The Beast Titan still lives. Beast or no beast, Levi’s heart twinged with regret and anger.

Which meant that Eren Yeager still lives. Which meant that the lingering fragments of the terrible tragedy fell upon him. Why Levi? Him and others never asked for Eren to wipe billions of civilization crushing beneath Titans’s feet. Levi and Eren’s comrades—his closest friends—wanted the Rumbling to call off because both Marleyans and Eldians alike are imprinted with punishment, suffered from multiple casualties and fleeing to escape. Eren’s plans, the Rumbling, was their greatest suffering.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. He couldn’t stand of doing nothing any longer. Levi wasn’t born as a helpless soul—he’s been reborn as a soldier ever since Kenny came into his life after Kuchel passed away. As a grown man in a present hour, his living soul still lingers—yearning—a touch of normalcy for once. What was life like without war, without death and screams of the despair and dying beside the decaying bodies. How his squad, his men, and commanders and civilians alike if they haven’t been involved or affected by the giant creatures that knows how to feast on flesh. Unfortunately for him, Levi could never recall how normalcy is. His days as a child were a blur except the time of Kuchel’s passing.

Not a busied audience being spectacularly amazed at the graceful presence of the Yeager brothers. He wanted to forget to start a new life, a new purpose, but his past, as a Captain of Survey Corp, was calling out to him. His past self, his fallen comrades, friends and Commander Erwin, Levi’s hands itched to grab a pointy object to jab it inside Zeke’s neck, throbbing with blood flowing through porcelain skin. Pierce his eyes, his monkey smile if he has to.

As for Eren Yeager, Levi wanted to strangle him, kick him to no end. Levi wished for a better improvement upon his deeds aside having an instinct of a fearless captain. But will it be all worth it if he stands still like a civilian? Will he stay and watch?

He alone survives, watching usurpers and avarice civilians, blend in like a flock of wandering sheep.

As a wandering, restless soul, Levi did nothing to regain avenge for his people. He did nothing to prevent from his squad and innocent people dying into the hands of the Female Titan, Armor Titan and Colossal Titan. Between his team and Annie and Reiner, they’ve reconciled, despite their errors of judgement. At the end of the day, they’re the product of youth who did the dirty work for the Marleyans—their higher ups—against the people in Paradis, by convincing them that it’s for “greater good” against evil. All the Marleyans wanted is peace—by sending their Warriors to gather substantial evidence that could help them win the war.

A realization dawned upon him when he learned that the humans are bloodthirsty. It’s never peace. Peace was just a cover up. Power is all they needed.

There was never peace to begin with.

His fists clenched when the crowd has been parted, ordered to return and continue their admiration inside the Goliath ship. He concealed his young visage and hid behind the jolly man, who was drinking the finest scotch drink Goliath has to offer, all the while watching Zeke Yeager strolling across the floor and given a firm handshake towards the aristocrats he’s well acquainted with.

His fist nearly deeply scarred from his nails digging into the skin. All could Levi see is red.

I’ll find a way to avenge your death, my comrades. Erwin, you should be at peace. I let that Beast Titan live for far too long. It’s time for me to rectify the mistakes I made.

~~~

As you grabbed the last pair of candy you afforded to tear the package open, Gertrude snatched your free hand and yanked you forward in a sharp, fast motion, ultimately disguised it as an emotion of excitement.

Gertrude was really good at shifting someone’s best mood.

“Not now, Mother,” you said, tightened the candy in an instinct.

“You’ll be more undesirable and desperate, you know,” Gertrude lectured with a silent threat in her eyes. “Stop acting like a child and be a damnable grown woman for once in your useless life.”

Your anger seeped further each time Gertrude’s words sent a sharp knife to your self-preserved happiness and appetite.

Once Gertrude a full word with you, she turned around to see Zeke Yeager, who was coming at her direction, with a smile on her face.

Why can’t she marry him instead sending me as if I was a newborn animal to her, selling into an auction? No wonder why my father hates marriage arrangements. He’s been cursed being born into an aristocratic family since day one. As do I…

As do you.

Do you have any other choice in the matter? Your reputation will be down and dusted to smithereens. Your life will soon be over. But is this really the only best choice in order for you to live healthily with prosperity?

“Your Majesty,” Gertrude greeted with a chirped smile.

You rolled your eyes. Oh, you hated your mother’s fraudulent grin that has been graced on her aged face. How her wrinkles are adorned with experience and yet lack of meaningful substance from a ripe and listless soul.

“How do you find yourself in the Goliath ship? I imagine it must be quite exhausting for you to handle the moving seas and be stuck under a pile of steel, iron and color,” Zeke asked with hands behind his back, unaware of Eren, who was shifting back into the shadows where he belongs.

“Oh,” Gertrude exclaimed, her hand faintly flapped with embarrassment, “It’s been quite well! I admire everything—it’s everything I can dream of and more!”

Oh, please. I can fling myself off into a lifeboat and be done with it.

Zeke chuckled wholeheartedly with a hand on his chest. “Don’t flatter me, Mrs. O’Connell. Goliath has been a greatest gift to humanity. We need ourselves a distraction after the collateral damages for the past few years. Think of this as my generosity—a golden ticket to our eternal paradise!”

“You’re too kind, Your Majesty,” she said, blushing. “Goliath is your kingdom, after all.” Then she exhaled an exaggerated gasp. “Speaking of your kingdom, there’s someone I would like for you to meet as a proper fit for your status.”

Here we go. Someone drown me with sweets, please.

“In the grace of your presence, I introduce you to my beautiful, well-endowed daughter, (y/n) O’Connell.” Then she faced you, her wide eyes were telling you to not mess things she organized. “Surely,” she said, facing back to Zeke, “you’ll be pleased.”

Zeke gave her a wry smile.

With a stiff motion, you faced Zeke Yeager, and your neck slightly bowed. “Your Majesty,” your once brave voice faded to a subservient, distant tone.

Zeke looked at you a few seconds before he threw a howling sharp laughter that he nearly fell onto his knees. The royal guards beside him grew with concern; all the men rushed to his side.

“Are you alright, Your Majesty?”

Zeke swiped a tear in his eye. “Goodness! I haven’t laughed for so long I have forgotten what it’s like! It’s particularly amusing to me that she bows with her head and eyes shot with indifference.”

Gertrude shot you with a furious look in her broadened eyes once more before she turned back to Zeke and said, “I do apologize, Your Majesty. My beautiful and well-endowed daughter has been extensively…stiff with her precarious routine of hers. I should make her break and bleed her leg in order for her to bend the knee if you desire for a favorable result.”

Zeke exhaled. “No, it’s quite alright.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that—”

“Anyone who isn’t bending their knee is considerably favorable as treason,” a man notified.

People behind you gasped with terror through silence in their holding breath.

But it wasn’t a man. It was Eren Yeager, who has emerged from the shadows once more.

To your disappointment, some men beside you were quivering with obedience.

“My dearest brother,” Zeke said with his arm slung over Eren’s shoulder and pulled him closer to pinch Eren’s sullen cheeks. “The O’Connell family is our honorable guest. They have helped us during the war. They’re not only kind-hearted and generous, but they’re willing to stand with us without ever so much of a question. Especially to Mrs. O’Connell, am I correct?”

Eren glanced back and forth between Gertrude and the crowd of men. “Mrs. O’Connell has been very charitable to us since the beginning we arrived at the Marley lands. With nowhere else to go, and with our vulnerable position to overtake justice and prevail through courage in cruel times, who could we ever trust in the land of enemies?” Then his eyes landed towards you, ever so icy, unblemished and unblinking. “I trust that our special companions will act accordingly as before.”

Gertrude gulped, producing a nervous giggle. “We’ll certainly do our best of ability as we’ve always done, Mister Yeager,” she said to Eren. “We, O’Connells, never fail.”

As soon as Zeke Yeager loosened his arm on Eren, his smile and twinkling eyes dissolved into a permanent state of a man who has once fought war as a Beast Titan. His glossy eyes is filled with doom and his glowing aura blackened around him. You felt the chill rising on your arms, as Gertrude stayed back further from you.

“Eren’s right,” he said quietly, walking towards you in small, careful steps. “Not bending a knee is a crime.” Once he tucked his fingers under your chin, he lifted your face up to meet his calculating eyes. “As Zeke Yeager, I’ll overlook it to the best of my ability, but as your king, I’m afraid your act won’t go unpunished.” He looked over to his trusted royal guard and said, “Do what you must.”

People roaring with terrible protests and non-sensical statements as the royal guard seized both of your arms, dragging you back as your mind is wrapped up in a blank state. As you, in an unbearable and unbreathable state you’re in, you couldn’t find yourself to bend the knee.

If only you’re born in a different path. You would rather be poor and happy, than to be rich and lonely, the collections of shame and scandals, and the talks of the prestigious town has been enough for you. Your childhood has been stripped away like a moths to a lovely gown, slowly decaying while alive, burning like an explosion beneath your skin, dripping like acid, overwhelmingly poisoned with heat and sweat.

As the royal guard brought down onto your knee, you fought back by not letting your knees touched the ground.

“Don’t fight it, (y/n), it’s useless,” Gertrude said with a fake cry, but you knew in your heart she was laughing behind a lace fan.

The screams deafened to numbness. Was this your dead-end?

The blood-curdling scream prevailed.

It snapped your thoughts out when everyone stopped and turned their attention to the most prestigious man in the ship, wailing about his new injury on his leg.

Everyone, including the guard, dropped their guard down as others rushed to the man’s side.

“Fuck, my leg is injured again. That clumsy fuck!” The prestigious man shouted.

“Who did it?” The aristocratic woman, who you assumed, his sister asked.

The man only groaned. “Is there a medical room nearby? I want to have an full inspection of my damnable, good-for-nothing leg of mine!”

The cast of long shadow materialized before you, as you meet Zeke Yeager’s eyes with a steel and stubborn look in yours, he said, “Eren, go and assist with my trusted royal guard to escort the poor gentleman to the infirmary. He needed his injury to be under a full inspection.”

Eren said nothing as he and Zeke’s trusted royal guard to carry the gentleman at a different hall, leaving the spectators to disperse and follow them with curiosity. Meanwhile, Gertrude was chatting with one of the Countess to befriend with for a greater status.

“You’re lucky, Miss (y/n),” Zeke began, “Consider that as a blessing from the Goddess Ymir, because if there is no Goddess Ymir, there will be no mer—”

Then he shouted in pain, mentioning something about his leg is struck by a stubborn cane. The back of Zeke’s leg caused him to a halted screech for everyone close to him. As the people surrounded him, a hand grasped your wrist and hauled you away from the dramatic scenery. Once you’re isolated, you never have the chance to look at the savior, who has withdrew, and gave you nothing but unanswered questions floating around your head.

The only thing that’s left is the candy—a large sized caramel chocolate bar candy into your hand. Quickly, you attempted to seize your time and inserted a piece into your mouth, savoring with victory after a small battle you endured earlier.

The luck of sweets has rescued you once again.

Taglist: @colored-tr-panels @galactict3a @slay0368 @f1yh1gh

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s1ckh1mb0 · 1 year

Note

Hey, I have a request with white death,again, could you please make some white death but in his younger times when he just took the yakuza, where he meets reader (female), but in this case she is a very sick person, both phylically and mentally, and they meet at a appartment complex where she is poor and like has many cats and is very sweet reader, and can't pay for her medication and is basically dying slowly and has accepted her death due to the lack of money.

(Basically a continuation of the other request that i made but she is dying because she can't pay her medication)

Thanks for making these hc/ oneshots that you've been making

Hope you have a great day/night (it's already dark in my country so to me it's good night)

Here are some kisses and hope everything is fine there :)

Yes yes ofcourse! I loveeee white death and can definitely see this becoming a series slowly!

It’s been around a year since you and Death had met. With him not being there most of the time or coming in extremely late it wasn’t often y’all interacted. But when you did it was small chit chat until one of you got tired and went inside.

As per usual he was coming in late and was shocked to see you outside lighting a cigarette. He had labeled you a little health freak in his head he assumed you didn’t do things of that sort. He stood behind you placing his hand on your lower back making you jump. Now this really worried him seeing as you usually were on guard while waiting for him to come home.

He grabbed you waist and had you face him. You couldn’t tell what he was doing but he was busy reading your body language. You seemed tense but at the same time your body was sluggish. This was extremely alarming and dangerous as people could come to his home looking for him and stumble on you instead. He had taught you quite a bit of self defense (you didn’t know why but why not take the free lessons) but in this state anyone could attack you and you’d be defenseless.

“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” Now you had already that Death was a bit out of the ordinary I mean his name is “The White Death” at-least to your knowledge; but with him just looking at you and not saying nothing you’re more confused then ever. “The hell is wrong with you huh? You know what could have happened if I was some random guy just walkin up on you?” You sigh and roll your eyes at his statement “Yeah I know but todays not any different than any other day where I’m the only person here now is it?” He was shocked at your snappy remarks.

“What’s going on with you huh? Actin all snappy with me like I fucking did something to you.” “Well maybe if you didn’t come over here questioning me I’d be fine!” Your voice cracked and you jumped in his face as you screamed at him. He didn’t flinch at all instead he grabbed your face making you looking him dead in his eyes. The grip he had making you not be able to turn head at all. As much as you squirmed and tried to fight it just didn’t work he just stared you down.

And as the eye contact was his way of asking what was wrong and it remained until you finally broke and started sobbing. He brought you into his chest and let you cry until you went basically limp in his arms. Lifting you up by your thighs and bringing you into his apartment. He sat down with you in his lap wiping your tear stained face. “Hell goin on with you baby huh?” Over here cryin and shit over what?” You couldn’t take it anymore and finally told him. “I’m dying Death…” He looked at you is disbelief “The hell you talking bout?” It’s not way you were serious right now.

“I’m sick I have some type of disease and I can’t pay for my medication. I’m broke because of my stupid ex took everything out of my bank account without me know and now… this is it. I only have enough left for this week. Without it I got let’s say about two weeks left. It’s over for me.” There was a tense silence for a minute “You really think imma let you just die on me hm?” This brought confusion to you. Just what did he mean by that?

He ran his thumb over your lip and used his other hand to wrap around his waist and pull you closer “Don’t you worry okay, m gonna take care of you.” “But why? I can’t pay you back Death..” he leaned in closer to you “I love you baby, why else would I? Gonna take care of you forever.”

I hope this was satisfactory for you!!

#fanfic #x character #x reader #spotify #x black reader #x black male reader #x male reader #x black plus size reader #white death x reader #white death #bullet train x oc #bullet train x reader #bullet train

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juls-writes · 2 years

Text

find the word!

more find the word! I have two tags rn so I'm just compiling them - @pinespittinink gave me sunlight, ribs and lungs, and @legiomiam has given me leg, build, egg, spin, and suddenly.

sunlight

On the outside of the amorphous dome of swirling darkness is sunlight, holding the entire thing up like an oversized circus tent as high as the clouds. Light and dark are opposites – irresistibly drawn to each other – so play them against one another, and they act in tandem. It’s actually super cool, but I don’t think Ivos would appreciate a lesson at this moment. If he knew he could simply run to one end and duck under the spell, he’d hate me more than he already does.

ribs

“Sleep well?” he asks. He leans back again, and I can taste the alcohol on his breath. “Your shoulder’s digging into my ribs.” “Then try and get away,” he replies, with what I can only assume to be a shit-eating grin.

lungs

I lift a hand to wipe blood from my chin and then swing a backhand across Delano’s cheek. In the silence following the slap, he grins through red staining his stubbled jaw and lifts his knee into my gut. He uproots me effortlessly and throws me down into the underbrush. My lungs empty in a fell swoop, and I find myself both grateful and annoyed at the soft mossy ground eagerly soaking a chill through my robe.

leg

I cough. Feign exhaustion. Struggle, fake, against his grip. Let my legs give out.

Delano doesn’t let me fall. The crowd is cheering, jeering. There’s a silent disappointment somewhere in there I hope I’m not making up. After years as the most powerful sorcerer on the continent, the showdown between me and Delano – a man with ever more fantastical a reputation than me, without even using magic – should have been incredible. A close match, a spectacle.

Not a street brawl over in under a minute.

build

It is a jungle of a city, replacing the real, natural one that once existed here and is now relegated to the space between buildings and the occasional abandoned plot. Walls slice through in misshapen rings, relics of old town borders now grown past. The palace sits smack dab in the centre, where I stand soaking in the bird’s eye view. Across from me, a sloping tiled rooftop leads the way to another series of towers, clambering over another as if in a race for conquest.

egg

This is supposed to be shameful, I’m sure, but the crowd watching me is silent. There’s no egg or produce thrown my way, nor are there any cheers or raucous celebration for Ivos and Theoreos in catching me. The eyes I do find, and the expressions I see, are more reverent than anything. I know it. They know it. I did them a favor.

Doesn’t mean I’m not still marked as insane. Doesn’t mean I’m not a criminal.

spin

“Yeranos,” he says, like he’s talking to a cat with behaviour issues.

“Delano,” I reply, in the same tone but far stupider.

I turn the rope into a ten foot cobra.

Delano curses and I run again, throwing the tail behind me. This time I veer sharply to the left, grab a tree to spin myself around, and as Delano drops the snake and runs the other way, I catch him in a grapple.

suddenly

My throat’s gone dry. I wish it was just the heat and exhaustion from the fight, but it’s neither. I hate myself suddenly. I used to think I did, when I made poor choices or effectively ostracized myself from society, but this feels like my soul is rotting. Destiny was supposed to heal me and send me on a path righteous for myself, in spite of the world and its rules; there was no reason to believe it would hurt so much.

I know @legiomiam is always game for the tags (and so am I, fwiw) - otherwise this is open to anyone that wants it! Your words are method, rumor, impossible, tear, continue

#find the word #bastards wip

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percontaion-points · 9 months

Text

EATCOD (Fated Alphas 2) chapter 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 4

“I understand then. Why you could hate me. Why you could hate my kind.”

He jerked me back, gripping my face with his hands, his eyes staring into mine. “It isn’t that, Elizabeth. It isn’t that at all. In fact, it’s the opposite. Because I don’t hate you.”

I love how the author tried to put energy into making sure that each of the characters have a different personality, a different backstory…

But my main problem with the novel isn’t the reverse harem or the personalities… It’s when the dragons are all together. Like the dinner scene, or when they were going driving. They all had this collective personality of a 12 year old boy, and it’s so fucking tedious to read.

After a few days of training with Hunter and Avery, Christian dragged me into the living room. “Come on, you need to focus. Training will help you get in shape but it’s not helping you shift.”

Then what exactly is the point of all of that if it’s not helping?!

Suddenly Traitor jumped into his lap and Christian ran his hand over her hair. She moved to encourage it, flicking her tail up. I eyed him enviously. Stupid cat. I was going to change her name to Cat Whore.

This is 100% written by somebody who has never once actually been around a cat.

That’s simply what they’re like! You don’t make eye contact with them, and they jump into your lap anyway!

It’s weird how rude Liz is thinking about a literal CAT.

And I still couldn’t make my bitch follow my command. Dumb whore.

She’s talking about her wolf-self. What the hell.

Then Easton’s voice was in my ear. “I found him.”

Chapter 4 summary: After lunch and a quick shower, as Liz is getting dressed to go flying with Avery, she decides to put on a lacy red bra. They go flying, but as he takes her under a waterfall, they get wet and Liz is like “wow, a white shirt with a red bra was probably a mistake.”

However, the sight of it upsets Avery too much and they land. He uses his powers to show her his mate, Mia, who died after a werewolf attacked her. She’d been pregnant at the time, and Avery lost both of them. Liz understands that he’s going through a lot, especially since she’s also a wolf. But Avery insists that he’s insanely attracted to her, and wants to be with her. Liz shifts into a wolf, randomly takes off all of her clothes, and then shifts back into a human so now she’s naked. They start making out.

Before this can go further, Avery tells her that the others want her to choose which one she wants to be with. But that if she doesn’t want to pick one, that dragons have a long history of “female sharing”. That female dragons are rare, so it’s pretty common. He goes on to explain that the boys had all shared Sophia for a long time, before she found out that she was infertile. But he’s telling her this because he wants her to make an informed decision before committing to one or any of them.

A few days later, Christian takes Liz aside and tells her that the physical training isn’t helping her wolf side, so he’s going to take her through some meditation techniques. Then so much time is spent on said meditation, without the plot actually progressing.

Following this, it’s like the author got bored with her own story, and a lot of stuff is glossed over. The only important thing is that as Sophia’s deadline to find said dragon who mated with a wolf and produced dragon babies approaches, the group gets progressively more and more jumpy and agitated.

Finally, the tech guy, Easton, slips into Liz’s bed one morning to tell her that he’s managed to track them down.

#elizabeth and the call of dragons #fated alpha series #omegaverse #bookblr #readers of tumblr #book review #werewolves #romance novels #supernatural romance #fantasy novel #reverse harem

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caramelmillktea · 2 years

Text

𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

Pairing(s) : tattoo!artist!Vi x florist!fem!reader

proofread : Yes/no/semi

wordcount fic : 1.279 words

warnings : little bit of playful bantering, petnames

author's note : chapter three of the inked flower series. Check out my masterlist for all the parts :).

previous part masterlist next part

The doorbell chimes softly as the door closes, “Come back soon!” You smiled as you saw your last customer leave for the day. You cleaned up the ribbons and scissors you used to wrap the tulips with before wandering through your small flower shop. It has been two years since you took over this flower shop and you couldn’t be any more content with your decision. While all your old college friends strived to have jobs that would provide much fortune, you strived to have something that money can’t buy.

Serenity

You always wanted a peaceful life after you graduated college, so taking over your parents shop while they’re enjoying their elder years to the fullest was the perfect solution.

“Now I know you’re here somewhere” You muttered not to anyone in particular. You stopped in your tracks as you heard a soft rustling. You walked towards the direction where the sound came from. “Maybe you’re…. Here!” You quickly looked behind a potted plant but saw nothing, you scratched your head. ‘Where could she be?’ you thought. Your thoughts were interrupted by a soft mewling coming from behind the counter.

“There you are! I was looking for you everywhere.” You smiled as you lifted your cat into your arms causing it to jump out of your arms. You pouted as you saw your cat sprinting away from you. You followed Wiskers and saw her stop at the trash bin. “Ugh… almost forgot…” You mumbled.

You grabbed the heavy trash bag out of the trash bin and opened the door at the back that leads to a little alleyway between your flowershop and the tattoo parlor. You huffed and opened the door to see a blue-haired girl sitting on the stairs leading to the porch of the back door of the tattoo parlor. She was working on a little contraption, materials and screwdrivers scattered around her.

“Hey Y/n, long time no see.” the girl greeted, not looking up at you.

“Hello Jinx” You managed to say while you tried lifting the heavy trash bag over the trash bin but you failed, you put the trash bag down onto the pavement.

“Finally!” You stopped and looked at Jinx, confusion written all over your face. She noticed your confusion. “You’re the only person that calls me ‘Jinx’ Everybody still calls me by that stupid name.” “You mean Powder?”

Jinx cringed at the sound of her birth name rolling on your tongue “...Yeah that one, it’s so boring and plain!” She whined and used the screwdriver to stab it in her little contraption. “Jinx got a certain ring to it, don't ya think?”

“I mean… I like them both equally.” You began. You honestly didn’t care if she wanted to change her name officially, as long as she felt comfortable with her name nothing else mattered. “As long as you feel comfortable with your name, nothing else matters, right?”

Jinx nods and continues working in silence, you reach down to the trash bag.

“I like you” Jinx said out of nowhere, this caused your eyes to fly wide open.

“huh…?”

“You heard me, toots” Jinx looks up at you “You’re pretty chill" Jinx smiled "Say… When are you going to bake a batch of those delicious cookies again?”

“Are they already gone? I made those cookies this morning for you!” you cried out.

“What!? You can’t blame me for finishing them so quickly besides Mylo and Claggor also enjoys your baking.” Jinx defended and looked up at you. ”Especially Vi.”

Wait… Vi likes your baking? For real?

“Vi? She never struck me as a sweettooth. I thought Vi was asking on behalf of you, Claggor and Mylo.” Your eyebrows knitted together.

“Oh my gooodddd” Jinx groaned, throwing her head back, her hands gripping her head. “Seriously? Why else would she tell you to give her a few pasteries when you’ve baked something?”

Before you could answer her, the door behind Jinx swung open. Revealing a woman with pink hair shaved into a side-cut. She has pale blue eyes and a roman number tattoos underneath her eye. If you look closely, you can see tiny freckles scattered around her nose and cheeks. She wore black sweatpants and a black sports bra.

“There you are, Powder! I was looking for you everywhere!” Vi exclaimed worriedly. Jinx turned around so that her back was facing you. “I told you to call me Jinx, why do you have to call me by that stupid name?”

“Because, you have to get over this emo phase.” You could hear a little frustration laced in her voice, as if they had this conversation a million times.

“It’s not a phase Vi, it’s my chosen name. Plus Y/n likes it too” She turns around “Right Y/n?” Vi and Jinx were both staring at you as you stared back at them like a deer in headlights, not being used to being the center of attention. Vi probably noticed you were uncomfortable.

“Let’s go inside, I heard it’s going to get colder later in the evening.” Vi said “We’ll have this conversation later k?”

“Ugh fiiine, I’ll leave you alone with your 'cupcake'.” Jinx snickered before grabbing her materials and contraption and went inside. Vi waited for Jinx to leave before she started talking. “I’m sorry about powder-”

“It’s Jinx! not powder!” Jinx yelled.

Vi huffed “I’m sorry about powder” She tried again.

“It’s fine, don’t worry besides she is still just a teen.” You said “It’s when she explores new things about herself so please don’t be too harsh on her, ok?”

“I’ll try, but only because you suggested it.” Vi's gaze shifted to the trash bag in your hand. “You need help with that? Looks pretty heavy.” Vi pointed at the trash bag.

“No no! It’s fine really.” You said, a little too loud, waving your hands in front of you. Vi looks at you, something in her eyes changed but you can’t put your finger on it.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it then.” She says but doesn’t move a centimeter.

You looked at her “ Aren’t you gonna go inside? I mean you did say it was getting colder later on in the evening” You really didn’t want Vi to see how physically weak you are because that would be embarrassing.

“You’re worried I might catch a cold? That’s really sweet angel but really, a little chilly wind won’t hurt me, plus it’s a beautiful night don’t you think?” She leaned against the doorframe. An amused expression on her face.

You tried lifting the bag off the ground but it was too damn heavy for you. You tried lifting it again but failed, you huffed in frustration.

“Y’know, my offer still stands if you’re interested.” You could hear her smirk in her voice. “ A little help doesn’t hurt anyone.”

“That’s rich coming from you” You breath out as you try lifting the trash bag once again. After a good five minutes of struggling to lift the bag five centimeters off the ground you sighed in defeat. “... Can you help me? I think I need a little hand.”

“That’s an understatement.” Vi chuckled and walked over to you. She lifted the trash bag with one hand and swung it in the trash container with ease. “There we go, is that all?”

“No… That’s all” You mumbled as your gaze shifted to the tattoo underneath her eye. You've never seen that tattoo before but it looked really good on her. It made her even look hotter then she already was.

“I’m flattered you like my new tattoo” She spoke up, you felt heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassed that she caught your gaze lingering on her tattoo. “Don’t be embarrassed, you can always get one yourself if you’re interested in getting one of your own. I know a great tattoo parlor close by.” Vi said, leaning against the trash container. “In fact, it is right next to that cute little flower shop you own.”

You know what she was trying to do but you wouldn’t give in so easily. Ever since you met her two years ago, she has tried to persuade you into getting a tattoo from her tattoo parlor.

You'd love to get one although your boyfriend would disagree. You really didn't want to have to argue about small things like these.

“Oh really?” You said as you played along “Guess I have to stop by when I have time, you know me. I'm a very busy woman.”

“I can tell,” Vi chuckles, “Watering your little plants and putting the trash in the trash container requires a lot of time”.

“That’s not what I meant” You glared at her slightly “I have friends and a social life, not that you would understand.”

“At least I don’t have to hang out with fake people.” Vi said nonchalantly. She pushed herself off your trash container and made her way towards her still open back door. Your eyebrows furrowed, before you could ask her what she meant by that, she spoke before you could. “Sweet dreams, cupcake” She gave you a smile and went inside, leaving you outside in the cold.

#vi x reader #vi x female reader #arcane vi imagines #vi x y/n #arcane vi x female reader #vi x fem!reader #vi x fem reader #arcane vi x reader #arcane x reader #arcane x fem reader #arcane league of lesbians #arcane league of legends #arcane x female reader #arcane reader insert #tattoo artist vi #tattoo parlor au

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luvdsc · 4 years

Text

august.

Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him.

pairing :: liu yangyang x reader genre :: fluff, angst ⋮ best friend + college au word count :: 10,500 words warnings :: none. playlist :: time lapse (taeyeon) ⋆ 2 kids (taemin) ⋆ daydreams (exes) ⋆ sharing you (lany) ⋆ august (taylor swift) ⋆ too close to love (will hyde) ⋆ sad stripped (lany) ⋆ strangers (taemin) ⋆ the 1 (taylor swift) author’s note :: can you believe that i literally wrote this entire 10k fic in one day aka today ??? whew this gave me the same rush that i got when i wrote my research paper in the class it was due for the day of, printed it out during break, and handed it in at the end of class :’) ↳ part of the almost collaboration series.

Liu Yangyang is jumping fences to escape late night parties, shared laughter over childhood favorite cartoons on February mornings, midnight dancing in the refrigerator light, and November kisses stolen in between the shelves of the nearby 7-Eleven. He is obscure doodles in the margins of your physics notes, good intentions laced in December’s mistakes, strawberry lemonade and broken truths wrapped in summer bliss, and September endings with honest lies.

He is your August, he is your everything, but he isn’t yours.

AUGUST 2018.

August has barely begun to fade away.

You’re eighteen years old, and you’re drunk off of your first taste of freedom, one toe already dipping into the shiny pleasures of adulthood. Your new roommate, Karina, has excitedly told you about the famous beach night themed frat party that kick starts every school year at your university. Everybody who’s anybody would be there, and your heart already races at the thought of going to your very first college party.

“Coral or blue?” Karina holds up a solid colored neon blue bikini and a striped, bright pink one for you to choose between.

“Blue.” You nod towards the first option, and she discards the other one back into the open drawer. You pull out a marigold yellow one and a black one lined with white strings, wordlessly gesturing towards them, and she immediately points to the latter.

“That one is gonna look so cute on you. Well, both would, but I love that one.”

You grin at her, silently thanking whoever decided to pair the two of you together for the random dorming. “Perfect, thanks. Do you know any of the guys hosting the party?”

“Yeah, Dejun? He’s really sweet and a year above us. I met him in the music elective I’m taking.” She turns to take off her shirt and tosses it to the side, pulling on her bikini and wriggling into a pair of ripped jean shorts. “You?”

“Kind of? Jaemin is in my project group in Intro to Engineering. He’s rushing for that frat.” You quickly change out of your outfit and into your chosen swim top and daisy dukes. You make sure to grab a pair of black flip flops from your closet. The bundle of nerves in your stomach grows as you step out of your dorm with your new friend, a bit anxious but also excited to attend your very first party.

Thank goodness for summer weather. It’s still a nice, warm 75 degrees Fahrenheit according to your weather app when you and Karina finally make your way to the frat house. The sun barely begins to set, but the party slash dayger had started earlier and is in full swing. There’s a DJ set up out front, blasting some sort of EDM music, and the lawn is absolutely covered in foam. You see the source of it shakily set up on the roof of the patio along with a couple of boys sitting up there, Hawaiian shirts barely covering their figures. You catch the eye of Jaemin, who happily waves at you from his vantage point, and you wave back at him.

“Oh my god, I love college,” Karina says, grabbing your arm excitedly as the two of you step into the foam. You reach down to pick up some of it before flicking it towards your roommate, who squeals before scooping some up and throwing it in your direction as well.

“Ready for our first shitty college drink?” You pull her through the mass of other students and towards the horribly decorated tiki bar stationed in the corner of the patio.

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.”

The two of you stumble over, still throwing handfuls of foam at each other amidst giggles before making a full stop in front of the bar. The older boy behind the makeshift counter lazily grins at you both, a shell necklace hanging loosely around his neck, and his unbuttoned orange Hawaiian shirt gives you a nice flash of his toned abs.

“Hey, I’m Johnny. What can I get for you two?”

“Two vodka shots, please.”

“Alright, ID?”

You freeze, and Karina’s grip on your arm tightens, and then Johnny laughs, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Relax, I’m just messing with you, freshie. Two vodka shots coming right up.”

He pulls out two small plastic cups and pours out the drinks for you. “How many do you want?”

“This is good for now, thanks.” You and Karina pick up the drinks, smiling a little nervously at him. He flashes another amused smile at you. “Alright, come back anytime if you want another.”

You move away from the patio, and Karina follows close behind. The two of you throw back the drinks and dispose of the empty cups quickly. The burning sensation in your throat disappears after a few seconds, and you turn to your roommate. “Should we find our friends?”

“I think I see Dejun back there! Let’s go say hi, I can introduce you to him.” Karina drags you through the rising foam, the bubbles clinging to your skin, and when you go past the DJ stand, you feel the pounding bass reverberating in your chest harder than ever. You trek past the gate and into the backyard where the foam has risen to your waist, thanks to the enclosed fences. She taps on the shoulder of a boy with the prettiest almond eyes you have ever seen, and you shyly smile at him when he greets you.

“Hey, I’m Dejun.”

Oh my god, even his voice sounds pretty. Older college boys are definitely better and hotter than high school boys. Heck, they’re better than freshman boys. Nobody wants to date a freshman dude, not even the freshman girls.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand, but then realize how stupid that must be. You hastily start to retract your hand, but he laughs and warmly grasps your hand. Smiling at you, he shakes it firmly, squeezing your hand gently before letting go.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

The butterflies in your stomach grow in volume as the conversation goes on, and you’re positively enamored by the end of the night. Karina had given you a look earlier before walking off with Dejun’s friend and joining the dancing crowd. With the addition of his phone number in your pocket and a promise to show you a new song he’s working on with his guitar next Friday, you’re walking on cloud nine.

“Do you want something to drink? I need a refill, and I can go grab you one,” he asks, and you’re about to offer to go with him, but then you remember the teasing upperclassman and simply agree, asking for another shot of vodka.

After he disappears, you look around, eyeing the crowd and wondering if you can spot your roommate anywhere. You bump into someone lightly and turn around to apologize. Your eyes meet a pair of curiously bright ones.

“Sorry about that, I’m looking for my roomie.”

The boy gives you a Cheshire Cat grin. He’s wearing one of those dumb Hawaiian shirts, too, and it’s unbuttoned, but he has a white T-shirt layered underneath it. “No biggie, it’s a massive party and it’s crowded. Who are you looking for?”

“Ah, I don’t know if you know her, but Karina? She went off with this dude, Kunhang, I think?”

His eyes light up at that name. “Oh, I know him! I saw him earlier by the keg stands inside. Your friend might be there, too. I can—”

“THE COPS ARE COMING!” A loud voice bellows, and you freeze up. Suddenly, the music is shut off as everyone starts running away. You start to panic, the terror rising in your chest, and the boy in front of you grabs your hand and pulls you with him. “What are you doing?! Don’t just stand there! We gotta go!”

“Wait, but Kar—” You start to object, but cut yourself off when you bump into his back as he abruptly stops. He scans the backyard, quickly assessing the situation before turning to you.

“There’s way too many people trapped in here, we’re not gonna make it to the gate. We need to climb over the fence. I’ll hoist you up, and you can help me up from there.”

“I don’t even know you,” you protest, and he throws you a look.

“Hi, I’m Yangyang, nice to meet you, I don’t want to get my ass hauled out by the police and continue the icebreakers in jail, so let’s move now. We good?”

“Yeah, okay, we’re good,” you say faintly, mind still whirling around as you try to grasp the situation. “I’m Y/N.”

“Great, now up you go.”

He immediately picks you up without any warning, and you almost fall backwards, arms flailing before you grasp the top of the fence and pull yourself up. Balancing precariously on top of it, you grab his arm, tugging him up until he’s sitting right next to you, too. The both of you swing your legs over the fence and jump down to the other side. You let out a sigh of relief, squatting down as you clutch your heart.

“Oh my god, we made it. I didn’t get arrested at my first party.”

“What an amazing accomplishment.” Yangyang brushes off the back of his shorts. “We aren’t going to jail. Freshman year is gonna be a breeze if your bar is set this low.”

“Hey!” You frown at him, standing up and crossing your arms over your chest. “How do you know I’m a freshman?”

“It’s written all over your face.” You give him a look, and he relents. “Only a freshman would be this scared of getting caught.”

“So are you an upperclassman?”

“Nah, this is my first party, too. I’m rushing for Nu Chi. Hold on, wait here.” He sneaks around the edge of the fence, peering around for a few seconds before jogging back towards you. “Okay, the police are over there. I’m gonna have to wait a while before going back in.”

“You have to go back?”

“Part of tonight’s rush process,” he sighs before turning to you. “Do you live on campus?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna walk back now,” you answer, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “It’s late, and I’m not in a partying mood anymore.”

“I can walk you back,” he offers, and you shoot him a grateful smile.

“That’d be great, thanks.”

The two of you start the trek back, an awkward lull in the conversation making itself known. You wrap your arms around yourself, shivering slightly when a soft breeze picks up. There’s a light rustling noise, and you pay no mind to it until a soft cloth is draped over your shoulders. Eyes widening, you notice the colorful, palm tree-printed button down shirt wrapped around you and the boy next to you, looking straight ahead with his hands shoved into his pockets. Smiling to yourself, you slip on the shirt, loosely buttoning the front of it.

“So, Yangyang,” you casually begin, testing his name on your tongue for the first time. You decide you like it. It’s cute. He turns to you, raising an eyebrow, and you continue, “Since our lives are no longer in jeopardy, we can continue the icebreakers, right?”

His lips curve into a smile. “Alright, shoot. What’s your first question?”

“Captain America or Iron Man?”

“Oh, Iron Man, hands down. He’s so…”

You meet him in August.

FEBRUARY 2019.

“Hey, where’s your cereal? The Reese’s one?”

February marks six months of your relationship with Dejun. It also marks six months of your friendship with Yangyang. It is time for your weekly Sunday rituals of watching old cartoons and eating breakfast, and you could’ve sworn that box was still half full last week. You rummage through the top drawer Yangyang had designated for snacks and other foods in his dorm as he takes out the milk from his mini fridge and carries it over to his desk.

“I ran out a few days ago. There’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch somewhere in there though.”

With a victorious cry, you manage to pull out the slightly crushed box of the aforementioned cereal from underneath the packages of flamin’ hot Cheetos and spicy nacho Doritos and triumphantly bring it over to your best friend. He already pulls out two bowls (which were stolen from the dining hall) and hands over the plastic spoons in his grasp (which was also taken from the dining hall).

“Thanks.” After dropping a spoon into each bowl, you shake out the sugary cereal squares before pouring the milk because you’re not an absolute heathen who puts milk in first, like Sicheng. Yangyang clambers up to his top bunk bed, and you carefully pass over the two bowls of cereal, milk sloshing precariously near the edges. You climb up afterwards, and he gives you your bowl once you settle down.

“So, Scooby Doo or Pokémon?”

“Mm, we watched Pokémon last Sunday already, so let’s do Scooby Doo this time.” He nods in agreement, pulling up the cartoon from the queue in Netflix, and the two of you lean back against the ginormous mound of pillows and stuffed animals of his that occupy nearly half of his bed.

You’re shoveling a spoonful of cereal into your mouth when he casually asks, “So how’re you and Dejun doing?”

Choking slightly, you quickly swallow. “We’re doing good. I think he booked a table at the Italian restaurant down the street for Valentine’s Day. Are you doing anything for Valentine’s?”

“I’m forcing Renjun to come watch that “‘Happy Death Day’ movie with me.” The faint sounds of the Scooby Doo theme song plays in the background as you hum in acknowledgement, mouth twisting into a mischievous smirk.

“That’s so sweet. So who confessed to who? Not gonna lie, I thought you had a crush on Hyuck, not Jun.”

“... I would shove you right now, but I just did my laundry, and rewashing my comforter is expensive and I’m out of quarters.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before lifting his bowl up to sip the best part of having Cinnamon Toast Crunch: the milk infused with all the cinnamony, sugary goodness. You let your spoon fall back into your bowl with a soft clink, a sudden worrying thought popping into your head.

“I bought him some customized guitar picks and a pretty composition book. Do you think he’ll like it?”

“That’s a pretty basic gift, isn’t it? It feels like something Kun would get him,” he teases, but his heart falls when he notices you chewing on your bottom lip, spoon held limply in your hand.

“Hey, I’m just joking, of course he would like it. He’s completely whipped. He’ll love anything from you.” Yangyang’s voice grows softer, and he fiddles with a stray thread on his comforter, avoiding eye contact with you. “I know I would.”

He looks up slightly and sees you smiling gratefully at him, eyes shining bright. He quickly ducks his head, turning away slightly to hide the hues of pink blooming on his cheeks. He feels you leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder with a quiet sigh, and his breath hitches in his throat.

“Thanks, Yang.”

Replaying the sight of your smile in his mind makes his stomach flip flop, and he resists the overwhelming urge to tell you you’re pretty, pushing it back into the farthest crevice of his mind. Your head on his shoulder makes him feel like he’s carrying the entire world, and he doesn’t know what to do. He paints on a tight smile of his own, silently hoping you can’t hear the way his heart nearly pounds out of his chest.

Yangyang knows that having feelings for his best friend, specifically one of his good friends’ girlfriends, is something he absolutely should not be doing, but he can’t help it. His stupid heart refuses to listen to his brain. For now, all he can do is desperately hope that this dumb crush of his goes away soon because while 99% of his friends are oblivious (including you), Ten and Donghyuck are not. They’ll be able to spot his feelings from a mile away, like how Kun always knows when there’s a good sale going on at the Asian supermarket downtown (This week, it was the 50% off bean sprouts and chili paste).

Letting out an inaudible sigh, Yangyang carefully rests his head on top of yours. Clutching the empty bowl with one hand, he shoves his other one under his thigh to stop himself from reaching over and tangling his fingers with yours. He stares at the screen, watching until the bright colors blur together.

“Anytime.”

He likes you in February.

AUGUST 2019.

The earth spins around the sun for another time, and August makes its presence known once again. It’s Thursday night, and you’re sitting on the countertop in Nu Chi Theta’s kitchen, swinging your legs back and forth as Yangyang struggles to make some scrambled eggs because the half filled carton of eggs the two of you managed to find is the only thing that isn’t expired (besides Jeno’s protein shakes, but neither of you are gonna touch that cardboard tasting monstrosity).

“Maybe I should make it.” You peer over at the frying pan, wincing when you see the full damage of your future meal. “Did you use oil?”

“Of course I did!” he exclaims indignantly before pitifully pushing around the nearly charred mess of yolk and whites around with his spatula. “I’m not Mark.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter, waving your hand around to dissipate the acrid burning smell, and Yangyang throws you a dirty look. He grabs a fork and stabs a small chunk of the eggs. Picking it up, he brings it closer to his mouth before hesitating. His eyes dart to you, and you raise your eyebrows at him, a silent challenge in your gaze. The sad piece of egg hovers in the air for a few more seconds before he defeatedly drops it back into the pan.

“Okay, what if we just Uber Eats some McDonald’s?” Turning off the stove, he then tosses the remnants of his cooking into the trash and drops the pan into the sink.

“Stellar plan. Best idea you’ve had all night.” You hop off the counter to stand next to him, propping your chin on his shoulder to see him pull up the app. He immediately puts in your usual order along with his before holding it up for you to see it better.

“Looks good?”

“Looks perfect.”

He clicks the confirmation button, and the delivery is set to come in 30 minutes. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how close you are with your chest pressed against his back and hastily move away, warmth spreading across your cheeks.

Glancing over at your best friend, you don't miss the way Yangyang smiles down at something on his phone before his fingers fly across the screen. When he looks up, you immediately turn away, focusing your eyes on anything but him.

“Hey, you’re going to the Alpha Sig formal, right?” Yangyang calls out, and you throw on a teasing grin.

“You mean Alpha Sigma Psi, also known as the sorority I’m in?”

“Ah, right, yeah.” He flushes, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But you’re going, right?”

You nod, the sudden realization creeping up on you. “Oh yeah, I am, thanks for reminding me. I completely forgot to ask, but do you want t—”

“Ningning just asked me to go with her,” Yangyang blurts out, and you freeze, failing to hide your shock for a split second before you regain your composure.

“Oh wow, that’s great, Yang! I’ll see you there then.” You try to give him a convincing smile. He wrings his hands, biting his bottom lip. Something is on his mind. You can tell. He’s not someone to hold back with his words, but this time, he is.

“I… I don’t know if I’m gonna go,” he says at last. Your heart picks up a little at that. Does that mean he doesn’t want to go to the dance at all? Or does he not want to go with Ningning? If you asked him now, would it make a difference?

“I’ve never slow danced,” he confesses, leaning against the opposite counter, and your heart drops. So that was it. Of course, he wouldn’t reject Ningning. She’s an absolute goddess, heck, you wouldn’t say no if she asked you either. You stamp out that last flicker of hope.

“What if I suck at it?” he continues, absentmindedly carding his fingers through his hair. “Oh god, I bet Yukhei and Kunhang are never gonna let me live it down. I can do choreographed dances, but I’m gonna mess up over a stupid slow dance. But where am I supposed to put my hands?! Like on her shoulders? Her waist? Do I hold her hand?”

Your eyes follow the way his hair ruffles slightly, and you wonder if it’s as soft as it looks. You swallow hard before saying quietly, “I can teach you?”

His hand pauses mid-movement, and your eyes fly down to meet his. His eyes widen, and he contemplates your offer for a split second before nodding excitedly. “Yeah, that’d be great! Can you teach me right now? While we wait for our food to come!”

“S-sure,” you stammer, flustered at the sudden acceptance and his eagerness. “Um, here? In the kitchen?”

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugs before straightening up. “The lights should be dimmed, right? We can kind of mimic that here to set the mood or whatever.”

He goes over and fiddles with the light switch, flicking it on and off, and you laugh, walking over and placing your hand over his. “What are you doing? Some kind of Kevin Nguyen mating call to look for a rave bae?”

“First off, I’m offended that you think I’d be one of them,” Yangyang narrows his eyes at you. “Secondly, I’m trying to make this feel more formal dance-y. Oh, wait!”

He turns off the lights for the last time and reaches over to pull open the refrigerator doors, the artificial fluorescent light pouring out and mixing with the faint beams coming in through the window from the street lamps outside. He grins at you, satisfied. “Romantic, huh?”

You roll your eyes, but the amused smile on your face gives away your true feelings. “Wow, Romeo, you swept me off my feet. The food is gonna go bad, and Kun is gonna kill you for the high electricity bill.”

“What food? Jeno’s protein shakes probably never expire.” He snorts before standing closer to you, his hands resting on either side of you on the counter. You can see the pretty gold flecks in his irises, and your breath gets caught in your throat. “And I guess this means you gotta teach me fast before we waste more electricity, right?”

You place your hands on his chest and lightly push him away, and he laughs, stepping back. You let out a shaky breath, remembering that your lungs need oxygen in order to, you know, continue living.

“Okay,” you clear your throat before pulling out your phone and putting on a slow song. “Ready?”

“You chose Ed Sheeran? Thinking Out Loud? Really?”

You raise your hands up defensively. “Hey, he’s the king of sappy slow songs that all girls want to be played at their weddings for their first dance.”

When your legs don't work like they used to before,

And I can't sweep you off of your feet,

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

“Is this the song you want played at your wedding?” He raises an eyebrow at you, and your face grows warm. You ignore the question, and this time, you’re the one taking a bold step forward, a few centimeters now separating you and your best friend. You see his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps lightly before meeting your eyes.

And darling, I will be loving you 'til we're seventy,

And baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three,

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways.

“So, your hands go here.” You take his hands and place them on either side of your waist. His arms freeze up. “Relax, Yang. Precious cargo here.”

He lets out a chuckle, loosening his grip as he starts to relax. You reach up and slide your arms around his neck, interlocking your fingers. You gaze back at him, saying softly, “Now pull me closer.”

He does so.

Maybe just the touch of a hand,

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day,

And I just wanna tell you I am.

“And now follow my lead. We’re going to take one step. And then another. We’re just slowly turning in a circle.”

After a few spins and steps, you stop leading and let yourself be led. Yangyang continues to hold onto you carefully, and you can hear him muttering a 1, 2, 3, 4 count under his breath until he finally gets the hang of it. He grows a little braver, pulling you even closer.

So honey now,

Take me into your loving arms,

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

“Are you going with Dejun?” he asks quietly, and you stiffen at the mention at him before shaking your head.

“No, we broke up in July.”

Yangyang falters in his step before recovering. “Oh. You never told me.”

“Yeah.” You struggle to keep your voice level. “I just… he’s your friend, and I didn’t want to make it weird.”

“You’re my best friend though,” he says firmly, looking you directly in the eyes. His grip on your waist tightens. “It’s his loss. That dumbass just lost the best person who’ll ever come into his life.”

You give him a tired half smile, one that doesn’t quite meet your eyes. He hugs you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist and securing you against his chest. You rest your head in the crook of his neck and hope that he doesn’t feel how quickly your heart beats in your chest.

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

Maybe we found love right where we are.

“Thanks, Yang,” you whisper, your breath tickling his skin. He envelops you tightly, and the two of you continue to spin in slow circles, quietly dancing in the refrigerator light as the remaining verses of the song warble in the background.

You think you finally understand what Dejun meant when he said he’s breaking up with you because your heart was already occupied by someone else.

You fall in love with him in August.

NOVEMBER 2019.

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: hey you up?

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: 7/11 in ten mins?

Tiredly rubbing your eyes, you stumble out of your dorm building, one of Jeno’s sweaters draped over your figure. November nights are cold, but this one seems chillier than usual. Yangyang stands near the front steps, and he stiffens up when he notices whose hoodie you’re wearing. He makes no mention of it though when you join him.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He glances over to you as the two of you walk side by side to the small convenience store just on the edge of campus. You shake your head, shoving your hands into the front pocket of your sweater.

“I was up cramming for midterms. I could use a break anyway,” you shrug. A wisp of your hair falls in your face, and Yangyang starts to reach out to fix it, but forces himself to keep his hand by his side. You reach out to carelessly brush it away, tucking it behind your ear.

“What about you?” You look over at him, noting the bags under his eyes. “Rough night?”

He smiles tiredly at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he kicks a stray pebble along the sidewalk. “More like rough week. Two more midterms left, and they’re for electromagnetic theory and linear systems.”

“Oh god, good luck. I took linear systems today, and it was absolutely brutal.” You wince, brightening up when you see the familiar neon orange, red, and green lights up ahead.

“Maybe I should just withdraw and take it again next quarter,” your best friend grumbles, kicking the stone as far as he possibly can.

“You really want another quarter with Hwang?”

“You’re right,” he sighs, “I just need to get a C+ to maintain my GPA. C if I’m pushing it.”

The two of you hurry over to the 7-Eleven, quickening your pace, until you reach the store doors, and you pull them open. Entering quickly, you push the door open slightly wider, and Yangyang slips in behind you. The cashier doesn’t even look up, texting away on his phone. You make a beeline towards the chips aisle, grabbing a bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos and a pack of sour gummy worms.

“What are you getting, Yang?” You call out over your shoulder, eyes zeroing in on the Red Bull stand at the end of the aisle. When you hear no response, you halt in your steps, turning around. Yangyang stands in the middle of the aisle, looking dazed under the fluorescent lights.

Putting your items back on the shelf, you approach him, reaching out and touching his arm gently. “Yangyang, what’s wrong?”

He jerks back before silently holding up his phone for you to see. There’s a slew of text messages from Ningning a few hours ago, and a quick scan tells you all you need to know. Your heart weighs heavily in your chest when you look back at him, a forlorn expression on his face.

“She dumped me,” he says quietly, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “She said our relationship was like a friendship. She didn’t feel anything. She said we could still be friends if I wanted to be though.”

He jabs a large bag of Lays potato chips angrily as his voice raises slightly higher. “But I don’t get it. Do friends take each other on dates? Do friends spend the night? Do friends hug each other and hold hands walking to class? Do friends spend three hundred dollars to do a surprise weekend trip for their birthday?”

He whirls around to face you, and he’s so close that you can see those pretty golden sparkles in his eyes again. Suddenly, his hands are cupping your face, and the next thing you know, he’s kissing you. Your eyes widen for a fraction of a second before they flutter shut, and you press your lips against his. The 90s pop station music playing overhead seems to fade away, and all you can focus on is that your best friend tastes like spearmint gum and grape soju. He pulls away abruptly, the realization of what he’s done finally hitting him as his chest heaves up and down.

“Do friends kiss like this?”

His voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the silence. You feel like you’re spinning out of control, a split second from careening and crashing.

“No, we—they don’t,” you mumble, and Yangyang sees the starstruck look in your eyes, and he wants to apologize: to say sorry for kissing you. But he doesn’t. Because for some reason, he doesn’t feel sorry. He closes his eyes, curling his hands into fists before exhaling slowly. He sees you looking back at him this time, and he wonders if you feel as equally lost as he does.

Because you’re right. Friends don’t kiss each other like that. Friends don’t feel like this about each other.

He kisses you in November.

AUGUST 2020.

The sun still shines bright late into the day, and August greets you like an old friend. You’re absentmindedly doodling in the margins of your notebook designated for Quantum Mechanics. Yangyang sits next to you in the lecture hall, making a bunch of origami cranes before tossing them at Renjun’s head right in front of him. When the bird reaches its target for the sixth time in a row, the annoyed boy whirls around in his seat, glaring at your best friend.

“Stop that,” he hisses, and Yangyang innocently raises his hands in the air. Renjun angrily frowns at him before turning back around in his seat. After a few minutes, Yangyang flicks another crane towards his friend. If this was a cartoon, you would see steam blowing out of your friend’s ears. You silently watch as he wordlessly picks up his phone, seething as he presses on a particular number.

Suddenly, Travis Scott’s SICKO MODE starts blasting, amplified by the large auditorium-like room. The professor goes silent, and everyone turns to see Yangyang scrambling to pick up his phone. He fumbles around for a few seconds with it before finally shutting it off and putting it on vibrate mode. Cheeks burning red, he meekly puts his phone back in his bag and squeaks out a “sorry” before sinking down in his chair (You can see the culprit grinning like the cat ate the canary right in front of him. Karma’s a bitch who also goes by the name of Renjun).

You pat his arm consolingly as he sulks next to you for a few minutes, mouth jutting out into a pout. You decide to take pity on him and lean closer to him, whispering quietly, “Would it make you feel better if I bought you boba after class?”

Immediately, he brightens up. “One oolong milk tea, half sugar with white pearls and coconut jelly?”

“Yes, I’ll pay for your overpriced drink,” you huff, thinking about how his one seven dollar drink could buy you a whole rotisserie chicken that’ll last you a week. At least the fluffy dog at Cloudy with a Chance of Boba is cute and fun to play with. “I’ll even get the honey waffle fries.”

“Heck yeah!” he whisper-yells, fist pumping quietly before he suddenly deflates. “Wait, I can’t. I promised Lia I’d get lunch with her.”

Ah, right, there’s Lia now. Yangyang’s new girlfriend: the only other student who went to Düsseldorf, Germany to study abroad over the summer, and inevitably, the two of them became close. All you really know about her is that she’s pretty, she’s in Iota Theta Zeta, and she followed you on Instagram a few weeks ago (of course, you followed her back because of the unspoken best friend and girlfriend policy).

Her page looks carefully curated, and there’s a common pink tinted theme going on throughout her feed. She has over a thousand followers, and it seems like Yangyang fits perfectly in her magazine curated life, judging by how he occupies nearly every picture taken in the summer with her or how he’s tagged as the photographer. You can’t deny that they look good together, pointedly shoving the green eyed monster back under the bed.

You take a peek at your messy Instagram page where you only post pictures when you’re half drunk, so there’s no semblance of uniformity anywhere. You shrug at him, pocketing your phone.

“No biggie. I’ll see if Karina is up for some boba. She’s been holed up in the dance studio already, and it’s only week two of classes, can you believe it?”

“I remember Ten was the same way,” Yangyang hums, eyes fixated on his phone and fingers tapping away. He laughs quietly, lips curling into a pretty smile, and you glance over curiously.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hmm?” Yangyang finally tears his eyes away from his screen for a split second to look at you before another buzz takes his attention away. He’s distracted, lovestruck, and you wistfully smile before turning back to your notes.

“Sorry, what’d you say earlier?” he loudly whispers a few minutes later, and you barely glance up from the large bulbasaur doodle you’re in the progress of completing right next to the chart marking the wave functions for a bouncing ball that you had copied down from the blackboard.

“Oh, I just asked what was so funny,” you murmur, coloring in the flowers you drew around the Pokémon with your blue ballpoint pen.

He looks confused for a moment before lighting up. “Oh! It was just a German joke. It’s not really funny if I translate it though.”

“Got it, no worries.” You notice the professor starting a new example problem, and you abandon your drawing, focusing on the formulas rapidly filling up the chalkboards in front of you. A quiet chuckle echoes in your ears, and you pause in your note taking to look over and see your best friend still typing on his phone. You make a mental reminder to create a copy of your notes for him later on when you pass the library on the way to the dining hall.

“Hey, Y/N.” Yangyang nudges you gently. “Rain check on the boba?”

You offer him a soft smile. “Of course. Anytime.”

He gives you a quick grin in return before his attention returns to the device in his hand—or rather, the pretty girl behind those texts. Your best friend is sitting right next to you, but you’ve never felt so far away. You know distance makes the heart grow fonder, but you don’t think it’s possible to be even fonder of him than you are now. Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him. No wonder it’s beginning to hurt so much.

You lose him in August.

DECEMBER 2020.

December is the coldest month of the year, yet it is also simultaneously the warmest with all the holiday festivities it brings. If Yangyang were to choose a month to describe you, it’d be this one. You are a walking paradox, a conundrum he might never solve, an oxymoron come to life. He doesn’t understand how you can be his best friend, yet feel like a stranger; a friend who he wants as a lover; someone who has created such an impact in his life, but disappears seamlessly here and there.

He wonders when you’ve gotten so distant. He wonders why he never noticed the way you seemed to slip away through the cracks until it’s now nearing the end of the year, and the last time he’s seen you in person was before the November autumn break.

But you’re here.

You’re standing right next to the punch bowl filled with spiked eggnog, wearing a garish knitted button down jumper with brightly colored Christmas lights decorating it. It’s perfectly in theme with the Ugly Christmas Sweater party Nu Chi is holding, and Yangyang is beyond ecstatic to know that you’re attending. He had texted you an invite two weeks ago, and you merely reacted with a thumbs up.

Yangyang swears he was going to follow up with you on that, but he got so caught up with midterms, then meeting Lia’s family for Thanksgiving, then studying for finals, and then finally, preparing for this party. Buying enough beer for twenty-three keg stands is a lot more difficult than it seems (Donghyuck’s car broke down halfway during one trip, and they all had to carry back the packs of beers to the house in 40 degree weather in their Sperry boat shoes and Patagonia long sleeves that definitely weren’t cut out for this kind of weather).

His girlfriend is somewhere in the room, wearing the other half of the reindeer sweater she forced him to put on, but all he can focus on is you. He hurriedly makes his way over, skidding to a stop in front of you, and you’re startled before a smile spreads across your face.

“Hey, you, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You grin at him, reaching out to poke the reindeer tail sticking out from the front of his itchy sweater (Lia got to wear the head half of the reindeer, while he was stuck with the behind).

“Yeah, how have you been?” He reaches around you to pick up a cup and pour himself some eggnog. He offers you one, but you decline with a small shake of your head.

“I’ve been doing good, a bit tired with finals coming up, but what’s new?” You joke, grabbing one of the sugar cookies from the table. You’re secretly surprised that they actually have real food (No, Hyuck, Jell-O shots do not count as real food). You suspect Jaemin has something to do with it. He always contributes to the annual Greek row bake sale.

“Are you here with someone? Did Karina come?” he asks, curiosity coating every word. He looks around for your roommate, but she’s nowhere to be found.

You shake your head. “No, I actually came with—”

“Me!”

Yukhei bounds over, slipping an arm over your shoulder. He hands you a new cup of apple cider, which you accept gratefully. He grins happily at Yangyang, who freezes up at the sight of his tall friend. “I asked her to be my date for the party, and she agreed. She also made our sweaters! Aren’t they so cool? There’s even lights that spell my name and play Christmas songs. She did a bunch of cool programming tricks to make them work.”

Yangyang realizes with a start that the two of you are indeed wearing matching sweaters, and that leaves a rather sour taste in his mouth (and it definitely wasn’t because of expired eggnog). The corners of his lips tilt downward as he presses his lips together tightly.

“So… you two are together?” He gestures between you and Yukhei with a forced laugh. Jealousy never did look good on anybody, and unfortunately, he’s not an exception.

“We’re just seeing each other and seeing how it goes for now,” you answer quietly, noting the way your best friend reacts. You have always been good at reading him, and you tread carefully now, not wanting to make a scene. Drunk Yangyang never holds anything back, and he’s had quite a few pre-game shots already (It definitely doesn’t help that he’s a lightweight, too).

“I see. How did you guys meet? Or I guess, start talking?” He attempts to look intimidating, staring down at Yukhei, but it’s a difficult feat to accomplish, especially when he’s trying to stare down a six foot guy who’s more like an overgrown puppy and his friend.

“Oh, she came by for one of your boba runs, but you were still out with Lia. So I asked if I could go with her.” Yukhei flashes his pearly whites at you, and you chuckle, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“I said yes, and we hit it off, I guess.”

“You guess? And you took him on our boba runs?”

“You were out with Lia,” you say defensively, and he blanches when he hears his girlfriend’s name come out of your mouth.

“You could’ve waited,” he mutters, but you still hear it, and you give him a scathing look, finally too tired of this push and pull game that’s been going on behind the scenes for nearly three years now.

“I did. I waited over an hour here for you, but you didn’t show up or even text me that you were gonna be late. Yukhei was nice enough to offer to go with me.”

He stays silent, and you gnaw on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say next. Yukhei looks at you in concern, but you reach up and squeeze his hand reassuringly, which your best friend doesn’t fail to notice, his lips pressing into an even thinner line.

“I don’t understand what the deal is,” you finally burst out, startling both boys. “What’s the big deal about me and Yukhei going out?”

Something inside of him finally snaps. “The big deal is that you’re basically sleeping through my list of friends and then breaking up with them! First Dejun, then Jeno, now Yukhei? Who’s next? Should I give Renjun a heads up? Pencil you into his planner? Or Sicheng? Sungchan? You have a class with him, so you’re bound to flirt with him, too, right? When are you gonna stop fucking around with my frien—”

He gasps, stopping mid-outburst as he stares at you in disbelief. Apple cider slides down from his hair, dripping onto his face and soaking into his sweater, the sticky juice clinging to his skin uncomfortably. You’re absolutely seething, the empty cup crackling in your clenched fist. Shocked, Yukhei carefully tugs the plastic away from you and places it on the table before replacing it with his own hand, his thumb caressing circles on the back of your hand soothingly. Yangyang doesn’t dare to meet his furious gaze, lifting his chin to look at you instead. The entire room has hushed down by now, all eyes staring directly at the three of you in a mixture of surprise and slight terror.

“Screw you, Yangyang,” you say lowly, voice shaking with anger. Tears form on the edge of your waterline, but you blink them away before hastily brushing a stray droplet from your cheek. “They asked me out. I said yes. We went out. It didn’t work out. We move on. Just like how you’ve gone out with my friends. And they didn’t work out, so you moved on. So what’s so wrong about that? What’s so wrong about trying again to find love?”

He can’t answer you, curling his hands into fists until his fingernails indent miniature crescents in his palms—until the pain overtakes the feelings that are threatening to spill from his heart. Yangyang may not be yours, but he doesn’t like the fact that he can’t call you his either.

Love. That’s what you want, that’s what you crave, but not if it’s from him. So what is he supposed to do with love that’s unwanted? It’s bursting at the seams, and he has nowhere to hide it anymore.

He loves you in December.

AUGUST 2021.

August sneaks up on you this time around, and you find yourself in Kunhang’s apartment. All of your close friends are here, starting the last year of youth with one final first day party. You think back to that day three years ago: when your eyes met a pair of equally bright ones for the first time.

Curled up next to Yukhei on the couch, you look across the room and meet those very same eyes, although they seem hazier this time around. Lia is wrapped around his arm, and you think it’s quite ironic how both your and his relationships remain the same after all this time. Perhaps you both were bad luck for each other, leading to the other’s demise with short lived relationships. He looks away from you.

The rules of truth or dare are simple. You cannot ask the same person again until three other people have been asked first, and no one can be asked more than three times in each round. And, for reasons you can’t understand, everyone seems to take the code of truth seriously.

“I’ll start,” Kunhang announces, leaning back in one of the several beanbags he has in his place. “Goeun, truth or dare?”

Goeun sighs, leaning back on the palms of her hands. “Dare.”

“You and Mark, seven minutes in heaven.” Hendery points towards the coat closet, and the immediate reaction of hoots and wolf whistles has the girl rolling her eyes. With an exasperated huff, she stands up and pulls a red faced Mark along with her.

“Wait, you gotta pick the next person!” Donghyuck calls out, and she stops in her tracks, throwing open the closet door and shrugging. “You can choose for me.”

With that, she and Mark disappear behind the door, and Donghyuck turns toward the rest of the group, eyes glimmering mischievously. You pay no attention to him, absentmindedly playing with Yukhei’s fingers. You tug one of his rings off his finger, and he smiles, plucking it from your grasp carefully before holding your hand. He carefully slides it onto your right ring finger, but it falls off. Grinning, he pretends to try it on every single one of your fingers until finally settling on your thumb. The ring fits snugly there, and you admire it, wriggling your thumb around.

“Well, look at that. It fits you. I think that means we’re meant to be,” Yukhei says, smiling broadly, and you laugh, interlocking your fingers with his again before glancing down at the silver engraved band resting on your finger. The weight of the metal feels heavy resting against your knuckle.

“Yangyang, truth or dare.”

Donghyuck’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and you instinctively perk up in your seat at the sound of his name before freezing up in your spot. Yukhei squeezes your hand softly, and you tighten your grip around his fingers.

“Truth.”

“You’re no fun,” Donghyuck sighs, slouching back against the armrest. Yukhei leans over and whispers something in his ear before settling back next to you, shifting slightly to wrap his arm around you. Donghyuck lifts an eyebrow at your boyfriend before shrugging. “Okay, here’s an easy one. Are you in love…”

“Yes.” is his immediate response, and you notice how Lia absolutely preens next to him.

“… with Y/N?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you immediately turn your head to look at Yukhei, your eyes growing wide in horror. He looks apologetic, shoulders drooping. “I’m sorry, but just the way he looks at you, it’s so obvious, and I had to know.”

You whip around to face the boy in question. With bated breath, you look at him, but Yangyang stares at the center of the floor, struggling internally. Everyone is quiet, and it reminds you of the calm before a storm. At last, he looks up, gazing right at you, and you can almost swear that you see those pretty little gold flecks in his irises from here.

“Yes,” Yangyang confesses quietly.

There’s almost a collective gasp rippling through the room, and Yukhei lets out an inaudible swear under his breath. Your grip on his hand grows slack as you fumble to get a grasp on the entire situation.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

The words echo in your mind like a mantra until it grows so loud that you can’t hear any of your own thoughts anymore. Lia is in absolute hysterics, demanding an explanation from him, but he merely shrugs her off. Standing up, he quickly moves to leave the room, glancing at you one more time before disappearing out the front door.

It’s like your body is on auto-pilot after this. You drop Yukhei’s hand, immediately standing up and rushing after your best friend, paying no mind to the hushed whispers that only seem to increase in volume once you leave. You step out onto the porch, and there he is, sitting on the steps.

You quietly stand behind him, contemplating what to say and carefully choosing your next words. But there’s only one question on your mind.

“Why did you say that?”

He stays silent for a moment, staring out at the moon shining brightly ahead. “Because I meant it.”

Your heart wrenches in your chest. “You shouldn’t.”

He finally turns to look at you, an indescribable look in his eyes. It reminds you of heartbreak. “But I do. And I tried not to for the past three fucking years, but I can’t anymore.”

“Since freshman year?” You feel the tears well up in your eyes, and this time, you let them go. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yangyang grips onto the edge of the stairs tightly, frustration ringing with every word that falls from his mouth. “Because I was scared. And I thought you never felt the same way. You’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Yang…” You whisper, hand reaching out as you let it hover over his shoulder for a few seconds. Then, you pull back, curling your fingers into fists, pressing crescent indentations into the palms of your hands.

He stands up, whirling around to look at you, desperate. “Tell me I’m not too late. Please, Y/N.”

Something inside of you breaks. You open your mouth and start to say something when the door opens behind you. Turning around, you see Yukhei. His eyes widen when he sees the two of you standing there.

You know this is it. This is the moment. This is where you have to decide.

“I, I was just looking for you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Yukhei awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna go back in and—”

“No, wait, it’s okay,” you gently interrupt him. You reach out and slip your hand into his, and he relaxes, giving you a relieved smile. You smile softly back at your boyfriend before turning to face him, eyes apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Yangyang.”

He and you are asymptotes: two lines curving towards each other, but never touching; two hands reaching towards each other, but never interlocking; two people tangling their red strings of fate, but never tying.

You give him one last glance before going back inside with Yukhei.

You break his heart in August.

SEPTEMBER 2021.

September is supposed to be a new beginning: the transition from summer to autumn. Yangyang doesn’t think he can let go of you as easily as the trees shed their green for gold and red. Wherever he goes, wherever he looks, little reminders of you bloom in every crevice. You’re absolutely everywhere and nowhere, and it drives him crazy.

He thinks he’s gone completely insane when he hears your laugh while he’s walking to the laundromat one day. He shoves his airpods in and continues on his way until he sees you. Walking across the street, there you are. You’re on the phone with someone, and he contemplates going over to say hello. But suddenly, you’re hanging up the phone and waving eagerly at someone. When he turns his head to look, his heart drops and gets buried six feet under. He hurriedly ducks into a nearby bookstore and watches as you run up to Yukhei, slipping your hand into his like it’s second nature to you now. The two of you walk off together, and Yangyang is left standing at the window of the store until the shop owner politely asks if there’s anything he needs.

He doubts a time machine is something they have in stock, so he silently shakes his head and steps out onto the street once again. It is now silent and empty.

He loses you in September.

AUGUST 2022.

A lot can change in eleven months.

You’re twenty two years old, but you feel like you’re eighteen again. You know you’re going to see him for the first time since September at Kun’s housewarming. You had repeatedly assured Yukhei that you’d be fine. After all, life goes on; the world doesn’t stop just because you had a falling out with your best friend, even if it may have been a little more than that. Nevertheless, a year has nearly passed. Time is known to be the best healer, and perhaps your heart has shed its old skin and habits.

Your hand is safely enveloped in Yukhei’s, and the two of you walk towards your older friend’s new apartment. He playfully swings your interlocked hands back and forth, and you giggle, tightening your grip around his fingers. You stop in front of the door, the muffled sounds of a party slipping through the cracks. You suck in a breath, shoulders tensed. He’s in there.

“Are you okay?”

Yukhei squeezes your hand gently, voice laced with concern. You remember to breathe, exhaling slowly and relaxing before nodding. You smile up at him. “I’m okay.”

“If you want, we can go back home now, have another NCIS marathon, and drink this by ourselves.” Yukhei waves around the nice bottle of wine the two of you had brought for Kun. “We can even stop by the convenience store and get some ramen.”

You laugh quietly, the corners of your lips upturning with mirth. “It’s okay, I’m fine, Yukhei, I promise. Plus, I have you, right?”

He brightens up at that, practically beaming at you, and your heart skips a beat. “Right!”

You reach out and knock on the door. Kun greets the two of you, and you enter his apartment. Yukhei still doesn’t let go of your hand, and you follow behind him as you weave your way through the living room, greeting some of your friends. You hear Kunhang calling out to your boyfriend from the kitchen and feel him hesitate next to you. You squeeze his hand gently before letting go and nudging him in the direction of his friend. Yukhei gives you one last look, but you wave him off, smiling goodnaturedly and silently assuring that you’re okay. He swoops down and leaves behind a soft kiss for you before going.

You walk over to the alcohol table, pouring yourself something to drink. Leaning against the wall, you take a sip of your drink, your eyes flitting over the rim of your cup and slowly scanning the room. It feels like forever, like everything is moving in slow motion, like the world is submerged underwater, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.

You find him easily. After all, it’s hard to forget someone whose features you’ve memorized over the past four years. Your eyes map the delicate outline of his face once more, and for a moment, you wonder if red is still his favorite color, or who he shares a carton of Ben and Jerry’s with nowadays. You wonder if he thinks of you sometimes, too.

But then, you wonder where Yukhei is. You search around until you see your boyfriend still standing in the kitchen, laughing at something your mutual friend said. Your eyes soften when you see him grab your favorite snack. You turn back around, your heart swelling in your chest tenfold, and your lips curl upwards, an endeared expression on your face.

That’s when you notice that he’s looking at you.

You brace yourself, waiting for the tidal wave of emotions to wash over you and the quickening of your heart rate to greet you like an old friend. Because that’s what always happens when you’re around him. After all, he is the biggest what-if in your life. He is someone you almost loved forever, someone you almost stayed for.

And yet, nothing happens. You wait a little longer. The world still goes round, and you’re still breathing. There’s no shortness of breath, no erratic heart palpitations, no sweaty palms, absolutely nothing. Liu Yangyang is a stranger in a familiar body, and your heart remains still.

You give Yangyang a faint smile, nodding towards him, and it feels like a sudden jolt in his heart. Time stops, and all he can see is you. You look beautiful. You have always been beautiful. This is his chance. Whatever higher entity out there has taken pity on him and given him a second try to make it right. He finally takes a step towards you, and the tender, encouraging expression in your eyes gives him the strength to take another one. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Clutching his drink in hand, he pushes his way through the crowd. He’s only eight, seven, six, five steps away from you now. A smile grows on his face as relief curls around his heart like a bandage. You’re standing there, waiting for him, smiling at him.

And suddenly, you’re no longer looking at him.

You stopped looking at him.

Yukhei makes his presence known next to you, excitedly chattering about something and gesturing towards the kitchen as he hands you something to eat. It’s a snickerdoodle cookie. Your favorite. Your eyes are fixated on the tall boy, positively sparkling as you beam at him.

Yangyang feels like he can’t breathe. The bandage is ripped off, and all he can feel is excruciating pain like a thousand pinpricks into his heart before the numbness hits. He freezes, rooting himself in that spot on the scratched hardwood floor as his colleagues and friends continue to jostle around him. As his world crumbles around him, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. They stay on you, the barest traces of nostalgia lingering in the dimmed golden flecks of his irises that you had still admired all those months ago. It’s like he’s trapped in a silent film, stuck in a fish bowl and swimming in circles, and he watches in horror as you outstretch your hand and intertwine your fingers around Yukhei’s, leaning up to press your lips against his tenderly. Your boyfriend looks at you like you hung the stars in the night sky yourself (He would believe it if you said you did).

You don’t look at him like that anymore.

Yangyang remembers when you used to. When you used to love him. When you were almost his. He feels something inside of him break for a second time.

The world continues to spin, and yet, he’s still not moving. He’s stuck in quicksand, sinking deeper and deeper as everyone around him moves on—as you move on. He desperately tries to keep you in his view, and his feet finally pick up as he lurches forward. He’s not fast enough. You’re slipping away, walking away from him, hand in hand with Yukhei, disappearing around the corner of the hallway, and he can’t do anything about it. It’s too late. He’s too late. The sticky remnants of cheap beer run down his wrist, and it finally registers in his mind that he had crushed the flimsy plastic cup in his hand sometime in between now and then. In a crowded room full of people, he’s left standing there, alone and lonely.

Almost is the worst way to love someone, Yangyang bitterly realizes. It hurts to lose someone you almost love. No, it was never an ‘almost’. He most certainly loved—loves—you. And it should be impossible to lose someone who was never his to begin with, yet he has. All this time, he thought he had you, but it had always been the other way around.

He was your August, he was your everything, and he is yours.

But you will never be his.

You let go of him in August.

1K notes · View notes

allisonbaelfire · 3 years

Text

NYX

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Nyx was a legend, others referred to her as a myth of a bygone era, but so was the Winter Soldier once. The two shared a common past and now a common mission. However, their feelings for one another could danger their goal.

Word Count: 4,403

Authors Note: This story is inspired by the Marvel Comics with Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff and Falcon and the Winter Soldier Series.

+ nyx = /Nýx/ - the Greek goddess (or personification) of the night. A shadowy figure.

____________________________________

“I was their secret weapon...or at least I was one of them. She was another. Something about her touched what was left of my humanity. Buried under all that programming.” Bucky touched the back of his neck. “A long time ago, Y/N made me remember what it was to feel human.”

____________________________________

MADRIPOOR - Low Town:

After several weeks of looking for clues to the "Flag Smashers", your way brought you to Madripoor. One of the most criminal cities in the world. If you didn't want to be robbed or even die here immediately, you had to be someone and have made a name for yourself. It's good that you already had that.

“Nyx”, Your informant greeted you. “Where’s my money?”

You smirked. “Do I have to remind you what happens, if you keep talking to me in that tone?”

You wanted to take a sip of the bourbon you had just ordered, but your informant knocked it out of your hand and the glass broke on the floor. Before the glass hit the floor, you grabbed him by his throat and pushed him down on the counter.

The bar owner, Jerry, wanted to interfere. His bar was the only one in Madripoor with zero tolerance against violence, if you wanted to fight you should do it outside.

You raised your finger and showed the owner that he should wait, he also knew who you were, which was why he repected you.

“Do you know how hard it is to find a good bar with my favorite bourbon in Madripoor?” The guy shook his head while you gripped tighter. “No? now let me tell you - it's as hard as really doing anything with your expensive information.” You let go of him.

“I-I told you everything, I know.”

“I-I” You laughed. “Remembered who I am, huh?” You ordered another Bourbon. “So, first of all, this drink, you’ll pay for it.” You took a sip and smiled. “Next, you’re going to tell me all you know about Kali and then I’ll pay you.”

You didn't get an answer, but you realized he still knew something when he nervously looked at his phone. You rolled your eyes, stood up, and turned around. "Jerry, I'm really sorry but I tried the nice way." You slightly pulled your dress up and took out your gun, turned to the informant and released the fuse.

“Phone,” You winded your eyes, “now!”

You rolled your eyes, still pointing at the guy. “Zemo - High Town, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You put your gun back and broke his phone. “I’m very disappointed and our Deal is over, don’t make a mistake - don’t follow me.” You spoke serious. “Or it's the last thing you'll ever do.”

____________________________________

MADRIPOOR - High Town - Brass Monkey Saloon:

High Town in Madripoor was way different than Low Town. More drugs, weapons sex, rich people and power. The petty criminals were no longer represented here; criminal elite were gathered here.

“Nyx,” The Bartender greeted you. “Long time no see even though you look stunning in that dress (X), thought you were done with this life.”

“Well, a girl has to eat,” You smirked. “And to drink.”

The bartender smiled and brought you your favorite bourbon. “Did you hear the rumors about Zemo?”

“Heard he’s back in town.” You took a sip of your glas.

He raised his eybrow. “This Bastard is accompanied by the Winter Soldier.”

You choked. He patted you on the shoulder. After you were sure you hadn't misheard, you inspected the club more closely.

You looked at the Bartender, “You never saw me.” he nodded.

You nervously went to the ladies' room. You’ve heard that James was still alive and that he now had a part of his memory back, so you thought he had stopped being the Winter Soldier and started a life of his own outside of H.Y.D.R.A.. But now that he was Zemo's company you thought about following them and finding out what that their Partnership was about.

You checked whether there was anyone else in the toilet besides you and when you were sure that you were alone, you took a deep breath and turned on the water. You suddenly got a slight headache and grabbed your head, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, your flashbacks started.

____________________________________

Ages ago - Red Room:

You were one of the best and yet you always had to prove it. After you had defeated each of your fellow campaigners, your leaders were still not satisfied and they let you fight the Winter Soldier - again

“AGAIN!” The Winter Soldier shouted and you fell you arm would break if you’d hit him again.

“AGAIN!”

“James, I-I need a break.”

“What did you just call me?” He asked as he noticed the penetrating looks of the other woman and you remembered that nobody should now.

The Winter Soldier knocked you out.

____________________________________

After James knocked you out, you were brought to your room, you woke up hours later. You touched your head and noticed the bump he gave you.

"Stupid, bastard." You mumbled.

“I’m sorry, you know I had to.” You recognized his voice.

You looked around and saw his silhouette sitting in the corner, presumably he came through the window into your room again, like so many times before.

You shook your head, “No, I am sorry. I've put both of us in danger”

Bucky got up and went to you. He let his right hand slowly slide up over your arm to your neck and finally to your head, he too felt the bump. You felt his guilt, but you knew he would never really hurt you.

“Stop it.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. “James, you know I could’ve easily taken you down.” You smirked.

Because of him, you could endure the whole ordeal at all. If he just looked at you, you lost yourself in his blue eyes and if he held you in his arms he gave you a warm home. He was your anchor to carry on every day and you were his.

“I told you to call me Bucky.”

You pulled him closer to you, “I’m glad that you start to remember who you’re.”

He put his hands gently around your waist and pulled you closer as he slowly leaned in to kiss you.

____________________________________

After cooling your wrists and neck, your pulse calmed down and the flashbacks were gone.

“Thankfully I have often had to look out from above in this God-forsaken place.”

You jumped on one of the sinks and pushed a panel of the roof aside. You pulled yourself up and crawled back to the dance floor so that no one could see you but you could see everyone.

You spotted Zemo, so it wasn't a rumor and he really was back, but you haven't been able to locate Bucky yet. But it was strange for Zemo that his companion was smiling Tiger.

You were a little rusty in lip reading but you understood that he wanted to talk to Shelby. This would have been your next step too. The mood in the club began to turn. People started staring at Zemo as one of Powerbroker's bodyguards made himself known.

“Зимний солдат атака” Zemo ordered.

“No” You covered your mouth with your hands.

Bucky stepped out of the shadows and was now clearly in your field of vision. He didn't see you, it seemed as if he only saw what he always saw first - an order and his mission. He was ready to comply. He attacked the men who were trying to get Zemo.

Elegant and graceful like a cat, you glide silently along the steel girders, and watched every movement of James, did Zemo really manage to turn him into his personal puppet?

Bucky knocked down man after man as if they were nothing. Your pulse went faster and your movements on the steel beams became more uncontrolled as you followed his fight. Your heart felt the urge to intervene, you reminded Bucky so many times who he was - not any ones weapon, that you stopped counting and seeing him like this again felt like you had failed him.

When you were almost about to fall, people simultaneously pulled out their guns. James stopped fighting and was called back by Zemo. You regained control of your heartbeat and your body relaxed, which helped you to find your balance again.

The bartender informed Zemo that the three would now be welcomed by Shelby.

You couldn't follow them any further without getting into the line of fire. You waited until they left and slowly made your way down from the steel girders and landed on the floor. People looked at you questioningly.

“What? Lady’s stay out of meaningless fights.” And with that you left the bar.

____________________________________

After a few minutes outside the club you got a message, but it seemed you weren't the only one. Cell phones all around you started chiming, people were chatting and looking around. Shelby placed a pretty high bounty and now everyone would be looking for James

You heard gunshots, “Great.”

Of course, instead of being smart and running away from the gunshots like every other person, you couldn't help but run to exactly where they came from. You hadn't seen Bucky in a long time, but everything in your body demanded to find him before someone could place a bullet between his beautiful ocean eyes.

You saw the bikers who drove behind Bucky and smiling Tiger, you pulled out your gun and fired at them. Two fell, thanks to you, the last one was taken out by a sniper.

“You seem to have a guardian Angel.” Zemo spoke breathless.

“Not quite.”

Bucky recognized this voice, but couldn't place it exactly on a face. He was just sure she wasn't a threat.

A blond woman showed up, “Nice shot. I take it from here,” she looked behind the man. “and you can crawl back into the darkness.” You smirked and nodded.

Before the men could turn around you had already disappeared into the shadows.

____________________________________

Within seconds you were on the roofs of Madripoor and on the way to your hotel. Being so close to Bucky clouded your mind and made you lose sight of your goal.

It helped you to walk over the rooftops in the middle of the night, it was like a release for you. In the night, in the deepest darkness, it was easier to order your thoughts, this is how you had been taught, how he had taught you to focus in case you should lose your way - switch everything dark and only listen to your inner voice.

You remembered him saying those words to you, “Your voice is what makes me lose my focus.” you held your neck and climbed into your Hotelroom through an open window.

After you were in your room, you inspected every inch for cameras, microphones or intruders of any kind, after this you closed every window, every door and every curtain.

“Finally.” You sighed as you pulled of your dress.

You looked even more threatening under your dress. There were small knives on both sides of your ribs and two different guns on your legs. You took everything off and put your weapons aside, all but your favorite gun (X).

“Your place is here.” You spoke soft and placed it under your pillow.

You went to bed and closed your eyes. The room was dark and absolutely silent while your thoughts and memories yelled at you.

____________________________________

“Can we just stay here forever?” You asked while laying in Buckys arms on top of the roof the Academy.

You looked up, the stars merged with the dark night and they seemed to be in perfect harmony.

“Whenever we’re separated, I look at the stars and I think of you. You are my night and I'm your star, he looked at his metal arm,” He tried to make the gun on his body positive. “even if we are often apart from each other, I cannot be without you-”

You lifted yourself up to look at him. “And I cannot be without you.”

____________________________________

MADRIPOOR - High Town - Unknown Place

It was already very late when Bucky, Sam and Zemo arrived at Sharon's apartment. They all wouldn’t have expected that Sharon had such a beautiful and safe hiding place in the middle of Madripoor, plus a successful business.

“How’s the new Cap?” She asked curious.

Bucky sat down on the couch, "Don’t get me started" he said with an annoyed voice.

Sharon scoffed. “Please. You buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit.” She sat next to him. “Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America!” Sharon chuckled as she noticed Zemo questioning look. “Cap’s best friend.”

Bucky was suprised by Sharon's words, none of them knew this side of her before.

“Wow. She’s kind of awful now.” Bucky mumbled.

Sam gave them an side eye, “Kali Morgenthau and at least seven others have taken the super soldier serum.” He sat down. “We won’t leave until we find the one who cracked the code.”

Sharon turned and stared out her window, “That’d explain her appearance. Either she wants to take it or destroy it.”

“Who?” Zemo asked.

“Nyx” Sharon stood up and got herself a drink.

Bucky stood up and he looked petrified. It was as if he had forgotten how to move or even show any kind of reaction within seconds. As he thought more and more about the day, he had felt her penetrating gaze, even though she was nowwhere to be seen. His heart was racing. Bucky’s eyes ran through the room, every dark corner was inspected, but she wasn’t called NYX for nothing.

Sam noticed Bucky's tense body, everything about him seemed like he was hopelessly overwhelmed with something that piercing his head.

“Hey man. You okay?” Sam gently touched his shoulder.

Zemo looked worried like Bucky would snap again any minute. “What is going on with him?”

Bucky went to Sharon and got worryingly close in her space. “What do you know about her and how can I contact her?”

Bucky's posture was tense. For someone who didn't know him, they might have thought, he would attack Sharon at any moment. But Sharon didn’t step back. She recognized something in his eyes, that she had once seen before, as she looked in Steve Roger’s after her Aunts dead - pain and a broken heart.

“This can’t be.” Sharon raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re her-”

“What the hell is going on?” Sam interrupted.

“-Star”

Bucky's eyes blurred, his head started to ache, and he held on to the wall to keep from falling.

“I know you’ll always be with me!” You chuckled and looked into the dark blue night. “You’re my star, you watch out for me.”

He remembered a feminine and warm voice.

“What if they catch us?” You asked him worried.

Bucky gently touched your cheek, “Then I’ll fight them all.” he kissed you.

He remembered the texture of her soft skin and her gently touch.

“You’re not a Monster, no matter how many times they try to convince you - you’re not.”

He remembered how you tried to protect him.

“If you want him, you’ve to kill me first.”

He remembered how you fought for him...

...and how you lost the fight.

Bucky took a deep breath. He came back to himself. He remembered a part of his past that H.Y.D.R.A. left buried deep. A part that made him turn off the Winter Soldier again and again.

His guilt grew. “I need to go.” He mumbled.

Sam came in his way, “Wait!” he sighed. “Talk to me, Buck.”

Sharon scoffed. “One Weapon wants to find the other. NYX is a Myth all around the world, like the Winter Soldier was.” She winked at him. “She’s as strong as an Army, fast like a cheetah, she knows the most diverse fighting techniques and speaks multiple languages-”

“-Okay and?” Zemo rolled his eyes.

“I was the secret weapon of H.Y.D.R.A. ...or at least I was one of them. She was another. Something about her touched what was left of my humanity. Buried under all that programming.” Bucky touched the back of his neck. “A long time ago, Y/N made me remember what it was to feel human.”

Sam held his head. “She saved us today. Well, saved you but-” he shrug with his shoulders.

“And now she has become a shadow. She works alone, always clean leaving no hints behind. I don’t know how to find her but maybe I can contact some people who might know what her next mission is.”

____________________________________

MADRIPOOR - Next Morning:

Your alarm clock rang but you had been awake and still lying in bed for hours. That you would wake up before your alarm clock was nothing special, but it was unusual that you were lying there instead of going to work immediately.

Your heart beat irregularly, and a slight nausea came over you every now and then. Seeing Bucky again without him recognizing you hit your psyche more than you wanted to admit to yourself.

Your phone rang, a new hint for the super soldier serum.

You sighed. “Ohhh f*ck this.” you put your pillow on your face.

But a mission was a mission. You took the pillow from your face, sat up straight, and took a deep breath. Even before you knew that Bucky was back, the mission was important to you personally and Bucky wouldn't be able to prevent you from destroying the serum - no matter what.

Your cell phone rang again and one of your informants wrote you where you could find the scientist who had recreated the serum. Buccaneer Bay.

You looked at your gun. “Hopefully I won’t need you for him...” You spoke and put on your weapons.

____________________________________

MADRIPOOR - Buccaneer Bay

Your body was still tense because of Bucky, but it was also he who learned to suppress your own emotions. When you arrived in Buccaneer Bay, your way led you to the top of the container. A better view and you wouldn't be noticed right away.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor the less likely you’re ever leaving.”

You rolled your eyes as you recognized a female voice. “I should’ve known.”

You leaned a little over the container you were standing on and noticed Sharon, Sam Wilson, Zemo and of course Bucky.

The four of them ran through the individual containers and it seemed as if they were looking for the same thing as you. Slowly and silently you went after them until-

Sharon stopped. “-Container four-two-six-one.”

Bucky looked uncomfortable. He looked around in every direction. It was as if you could literally feel that someone was watching him.

“I’ll watch while you guys talk to Nagel.” Sharon handed them some earpods. “But hurry. We’re on borrowed time.”

“What’re you up to?” You asked yourself as you looked at her.

The container door cracked open, you waited until Sharon was far enough away to get to the next container and on to your destination.

The men went in and you heard them open another door inside. You waited 2 minutes, after all, Zemo and Sam were accompanied by the Winter Soldier, who would double-check everything. When you were sure that they were gone you went into the container.

____________________________________

As you followed them you heard how they drew their weapons. That wasn’t your way, while they first thought of pulling out their weapons, you thought of securing the container and waiting until the men thought they had nothing to worry about and were alone with the doctor.

“Doctor Nagel?” You heard Sam.

The doctor turned and went pale in the face. “Who are you? What do you want?”

“We know you created the super-soldier serum.”

You walked slowly into the room and decided to hide yourself first.

Nagel walked past them, “Get out of my lap.” until he noticed Bucky.

“You know who he is right?”

Nagel didn’t dare to move any further than looked deep into Bucky’s eyes and didn’t grimace. Sam grabbed Nagel by his jacket and pushed him at a wall.

“How about a counter proposal?” The Doctor grinned. “Make me a better offer and I talk.”

Bucky's body language spoke for him. He must have heard something, they weren't alone anymore. He pulled his gone and pointed at Nagel. You got nervous, was this Bucky Barnes or was it the Winter Soldier? Whoever he was, nothing should happen to Nagel.

Nagel began to explain how he managed to reproduce and modify the Super-Soldier serum. In your opinion, he was a bit arrogant.

“I was god.” He smiled and you rolled your eyes.

Zemo started walking around, you couldn't tell what he was going to do so you decided to get closer. He found a gun under a desk and went near Sam and Bucky. You heard the container door open again and you were ready to fight, but Sharon stormed in and for a second you couldn't keep an eye on Zemo, a shot went off - Nagel was dead.

You had to act immediately, you came out from behind Sharon and hit her hard on the head, she fell over like a stone. Sam held Zemo tight, his gun fell to the ground. You ran up to Sam, he was so surprised that it was easy for you to ram your elbow in his face and make him fall to the ground too. You pulled out your two guns, one aimed at Zemo and the other at Bucky.

“Y/N?” Bucky sounded confused.

“Its been a long time since I heard that Name,” She sighed. “Did you miss me, Soldier?” You gasped.

“Do you want the serum for yourself, my dear?” Zemo asked hands up.

Bucky shook his head, “She already has it.” He came closer to you.

“Ah-Ah-Ah, don’t make another move.” You were still aiming at Bucky. “I need the serums, I’ll destroy them so that no one can ever use it again, can use us like they please.”

Bucky's gaze softened. The whole time he was wondering what had become of you, but even if H.Y.D.R.A. or the KGB wanted to make you monsters, you were one of the monsters who worked for, instead of against, people.

He came closer and even without touching you he could feel how much your heart was beating. But what he didn't know, would you shoot him to get to your goal?

He put his hand on yours with he gun, “Y/N...”

____________________________________

Before you could react to Bucky or even think about your next step, you were hit by a bomb that destroyed half the container and knocked you and the others to the ground.

“Y/N,” Bucky groans.

You heard heard the alarm blaring and glasses clicking, everything was shaking but you seemed unharmed as you could stand up on your own. But your eyes couldn't see that much, everything looked blurry. You could barely stand on your feet.

“Did anyone see Zemo?”

Bucky helped the others up. You shook your head and slowly came to yourself. Bucky came and took your hand when another explosion destroyed the container, you all were lucky and made it out just in time.

“All right! Wait for my signal!” Bucky ordered.

You heard gunfire and placed yourself in front of him to take a shouter out.

“Too slow old man.” You came out from behind the container and started shooting the other shooters. Sharon and Sam followed your example and helped.

“Damn it, Y/N!”

You could hear how one after the other fell to the ground but it seemed to get more and more.

“Hey?!” You looked at Bucky. “Do you remember Budapest?” You yelled.

Bucky did remember Budapest and shook his head. “Its too dangerous!”

Another explosion happened and smoke came up, it was perfect to cover you. You got out of your protection and Bucky ran behind you. You were standing back to back and started shooting around you and taking one by one until there was no one left.

Sam and Sharon were speechless after what they just witnessed. A super soldier and a spy who killed 20 people at once without even blinking. But it wasn't over yet, Madripoor was not known for criminals who would give up so easily.

“Okay come on!” Sharon spoke and you followed her into another container.

“So you two?” Sam started and Bucky and you gave him a death stare. “Okay, okay.” He grinned.

Bucky rammed open the door on the other side of the container and you could hear car tires screeching.

“Supercharged.” Zemo smiled.

“You’re going back to jail.” Sam replied.

“Do you want to find Karli or not?”

Bucky crossed his arms, “He’s right, we need him.” he opened the car door.

“Fine.” Sam clenched his teeth. “But if you try that shit again.” He placed himself on the backseat.

You looked at Bucky and he realized you weren't going to come with him. He took your hand and pulled you closer to himself.

Everything in Bucky demanded to stroke you, kiss you and just feel you but he couldn't even find a word.

“I’ll find you.” You looked into his eyes and smiled soft. “even in the darkest nights.”

He placed a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t do anything stupid.” Then he went inside the car.

You nodded to Sam to show you trusted him to fight by Bucky's side. Then you turned around and walked past Sharon while you rammed her shoulder hard, once around the corner and you were gone.

Bucky put his head in his hands, wondering if he should have stayed with you or persuaded you to come with him. But it didn't seem to be the time for it yet. Sam touched his shoulder to comfort him. Zemo started the car and Bucky felt your gaze on him, he turned around and this time you allowed him to see you.

He knew you’d see each other again, he still hoped for a better reason but the Serum was still out there - and your mission wasn't over yet.

_______________________________

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