#the great overlord pissing contest

[mistystarshine]

(Can't) Go Back Home

It was a fight to keep sounding cheerful, but she managed. “Well, you want to get back into heaven, don’t you! We can help you with that! Sure, it’ll be an uphill battle after everything you did, and you have a lot of apologizing to do, but I believe—” “Oh, you dumb bitch. Did you listen to a word I said?” The last shred of warmth left Charlie’s voice. “Excuse me?” Adam’s grin revealed a mouth full of fangs. It didn’t match the broken look in his demonic eyes, or the manic lilt with which he said, “Hell is forever, sweet cheeks. There are no exceptions, not even for me.” - Or; Adam is in hell. He isn't interested in redemption.

[linttastic]

Just beat the Mass Effect Trilogy for the first time today [spoilers]:

Needless to say, where the fuck was I the last fucking decade.

I'm hardcore into the Dragon Age series because I love fantasy and, in general, don't care for sci-fi series so I didn't feel the need or rush to play ME yet because DA seemed enough for me especially with DA4 in development. I finally bunkered down to play at the end of last year because 1. my cousin wouldn't play the older DA games until I played ME and 2. I met a new coworker who came to work one day (before quarantine of course) with an N7 sweater and I recognized it even though I didn't play the games. He quickly became one of my best friends and we meet weekly (since we started working remotely) to chat about work and nerd things. He is super into Mass Effect and convinced me to start once and for all. It became a cool bonding experience (like sharing our *ahem* interest in James and Kaidan lol) to play the games and chat to him about it and theorize as I went along for the first time. We bought each other ME stuff for Christmas and want to cosplay ME for our Halloween contests at work now haha.

My stats:

-Femshep -Earthborn -Sole Survivor -Vanguard -Paragon -LI: Kaidan only

I was absolutely not prepared for the doozy of a rollercoaster ride that this series was. It was insane to me how much more intense the games became one after the other. I wasn't used to that (from my DA experience). ME1 was great and I loved it as a standalone (like Pirates of the Caribbean 1 haha) with giving me enough world building, but cleanly wrapping up the story imo. I knew I would be in good hands for the rest of the series. So many things were different from DA that, honestly, I really did not expect. For example, squad mates actually dying and you have no choice in some cases. I'm a sucker for happy endings even if it means keeping an annoying companion around so this was definitely a shock. But, in a way, it made me love the characters so much more. My absolute favorites were Wrex and James while Tali was best girl for me. If any of them died, I would've thrown in the towel on this series haha.

ME2 pissed me off at first with Cerberus and all that (especially since I played sole survivor) but I really liked the team for not being so military regs oriented. That was a cool change to have people be more informal or trash-like (*cough* Zaeed). The recruitment missions were my favorite parts of the game and it was cool to get more personal with the squad than in the previous game. The feels started to really build up in ME2 story-wise when I did the Project Overlord DLC. I never felt so sad for something in a video game; no lie. It was nice to be able to give the Illusive Man a nice big ol paragon middle finger at the end because as soon as he came out, I was like "no way I have to work with Gary Oldman in the Fifth Element" and honestly was surprised that there wasn't more freaking out from other characters (like Joker) when he set up Shepard a few times.

ME3: Here's where it aaaalll built up to and holy shit way to start off the game with a literal bang. I remember I told my friend "yeah I'm gonna start ME3 and just get enough through the game to get the first save point"........uhm........yeah right. It was so intense that I got a few stomach cramps lmafo and just restarted it because I needed time to collect recompose myself. Sooooo much can be said, but I don't want to blab on too much and annoy everyone, but let's just say D A Y U M . I was genuinely amazed at how the writer kept me guessing at every turn and throwing curveballs everywhere like, having a real life prothean on the team!? Mordin curing the genophage?! Rannoch taken back!? Protheans were the Asari gods!? Leviathan?! That dumb kid from the dream sequence is the crucible!? You can't romance my papi chulo James?! I knew people were pissed with the ME3 ending for a long time and I can definitely see why, but I think my reasons for being pissed at it are minor and selfish so I was't too disappointed. Mainly, I wanted the Shepard romance to have a nice ending that wasn't "lol Kaidan thinks she's dead again" so it could feel concluded. I have a lot of other thoughts of the story, but I'll keep those to myself or browse relevant topics to discuss them in :)

In conclusion, to the Mass Effect team of writers, developers, and the fan community, I say 'wow' and 'thank you'. The depth of the story and characters legit invoked in me feelings and emotions that I legitimately rarely (if at all) experience with video games. Dragon Age did that a few times for me, but I don't ever remember caring about a game's story and characters so much before which is a testament to Bioware's talented staff and highly creative and engaged fan communities who put out so much good fan content. I used to see comments in some ME videos saying "imagine playing the series for the first time" or "I wish I could play it all over again not knowing the story" and I now understand why. This was one of the greatest stories ever told in any media/series/franchise/whatever capacity and I'm ashamed it took me so long to play it, but am glad I didn't take longer. I'm fully engaged in this now and have been reading comics and trying to read up on more lore. Now that the story is done for me, I'm getting my boss into it by hyping him with the remaster trailer. He's a huge sci-fi geek and loves my ME Zoom backgrounds I use in meetings so hopefully I can hear about him and his son going through this awesome story for the first time like I did.

Thanks for reading :')

[icannotreadcursive]

Ford v Ferrari

2019, Dir. James Mangold

Overall Quality ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5

Entertainment Value ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5

Story ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5

Visuals and Craft ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5

Ford v Ferrari should have stuck with the title of the book it's based on: Go Like Hell. On the one hand, it is technically about the pissing contest that took place between Ford Motor Company and Ferrari that took place over the 1966 24 Hours of Le Mans race. Really, though, it's about two guys—Caroll Shelby (Matt Damon) and Ken Miles (Christian Bale)—grabbing the opportunity provided by the Ferrari-Ford feud to indulge their own passion for racing and race cars in designing a car beyond anything anyone had put on the track before, and running a race unlike anything anyone had pulled off before.

It's a story of human ingenuity and determination, and of pushing back against greedy capitalist overlords who think they know better than the experts on the front lines, and it's beautifully told. The movie is long, 2 hours 32 minutes, and it feels long, but it's telling a complex story. Despite the length, it never drags, never feels stalled. Most impressively, it shows the races in such a way that they are engaging and exciting no mater if you know exactly what's going to happen because you're a huge motorsports nerd, or if you don't know the first thing about car racing.  Through editing and brilliant soundscaping, Ford v Ferrari captures the incredible mechanical power of these cars and the human strength and intensity that goes into this kind of racing. It feels and sounds as much like being there at the track as possible without having the smell of brakedust in your nose.

This is a movie meant for car nerds, the particular brand of car nerd inclined to camp out and watch 24 hour races like Le Mans, but you certainly don't have to be that sort to enjoy the film. If you aren't really into racing, this movie just might help you understand why some people get so into the sport.

Watching the cars in the film, especially the GT40s designed by Shelby and Miles sling around the various tracks is very sexy. And no need to fret, car lovers, all the vehicles are replicas, no multimillion dollar vintage racecars were harmed or endangered in the making of this film, but the replicas look perfect.

Damon and Bale are both excellent. Bale in particular disappears into his role as Miles. Together, they provide the emotional core of the film. They—along with, frankly, the entire rest of the male cast—capture the sort of driven desperation and inability to sit still typical of the kind of thrill seeking men you find both in racing and near the top of competitive corporate ladders, and how these men can all be absolute assholes even if they're basically good guys. Special credit also goes to the film's dialect coaches for helping Damon and Bale bring Texan Shelby and British Miles to life.

Female presence in the film is quite lacking, limited almost entirely to Caitriona Balfe as Miles's wife, Mollie.  To be fair to the film makers, motorsports in the 1960s was a boysclub, and Mollie is given the agency and respect she's due.

It's a great film and a good time, if not exactly a feelgood ending. Grab a snack, buckle in for the next two and a half hours, and try not to break every posted speed limit on the way home from the theater—the temptation will be strong.

[douxreviews]

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

"There are no strings on me."

Joss Whedon promised to go deeper, as well as bigger, with this sequel to the third biggest film of all time. Did he succeed?

Although an impressive, spectacular piece of superhero filmmaking, Age of Ultron is not as good as The Avengers. There are quite a few flaws, not enough to derail the train, but enough to make the journey quite bumpy. What is obvious, pretty much from the first frame, is that Whedon is a much more confident and ambitious filmmaker this time around. Unlike The Avengers, which took place mostly on the Helicarrier, this film has a truly global feel as the Avengers zip around the world chasing after Ultron, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. I hope Tony has good lawyers because he is going to get sued.

The opening salvo re-introduces each member of the team one by one in an avalanche of action as they battle an army of HYDRA troops in a snowy Sokovia, a completely made up eastern European country. The team are on the hunt for Loki’s staff, which HYDRA’s number one thug, Baron Wolfgang von Strucker, has been using to build advanced weapons and people.  After recovering the staff, Tony discovers it contains an artificial intelligence and decides to use it to complete his Ultron project, obviously never having seen Terminator or the billion other films about A.I.s getting out of control. Faster than you can say “Skynet,” Ultron gains freewill, a massive ego and the desire to bring about the extinction of the human race.

In terms of plot, Age of Ultron doesn't do anything we haven't seen in Marvel movies before. There's a bad guy who wants to destroy the world. The heroes try to stop them. Everything ends with a city getting seriously fucked up. Along the way there's lots of funny lines, in-fighting, team bonding, soul searching, in-jokes, Stan Lee cameos and Samuel L. Jackson telling people to get their shit together. Pretty much everything I want and expect from an Avengers movie. It will be a long time before we get an Avengers movie where they just go see a show on Broadway and talk about it afterwards. Which is real shame because that would be the best film ever.

For Whedon, it is never really about the story (probably because the story is dictated by his Marvel overlords); it has always been about the characters and this was his last opportunity to get inside their heads and really mess them up. The director seems interested in exploring how a hero's fears and doubts can be their own worst enemy and that, for all their awesome powers, this group is still all too human, even the thunder god. He isn't always successful with this. The mental attacks Ultron and Scarlet Witch inflict on the team doesn't go nearly as deep or as dark as Whedon was hoping. Romanov's works quite well, showing us the brutality of her Red Room upbringing, but Thor's come across like a scene from an Asgardian version of Eyes Wide Shut.

The film's greatest strength is its cast. The effortless chemistry between the actors, and the obvious affection they all have for each other, is just infectious. As with the first film, Whedon has the unenviable task of juggling all of these actors and their characters and making sure everyone gets their moment to shine. And as with the first film, he succeeds. Mostly. There’s a definite sense that a lot of character beats have been cut out to get the runtime down to one that will be beneficial to people's bladders. Someone was bound to be Hawkeyed, and this time it was Thor. When he's not smashing things with his hammer, the thunder god disappears for long stretches of time, only to pop back to talk a load of stuff that is mostly just set up for future films. Hawkeye, on the other hand, has a greatly expanded role. I have a feeling Whedon felt bad about giving Jeremy Renner hardly anything to do in the first film and decided to make it up to him with this film by giving Hawkeye a more substantial role with what are without a doubt the best lines of the entire film. The rest of the main players are as great as you would expect them to be, although even Scarlett Johansson and Mark Ruffalo struggle to make the out of nowhere romance between Black Widow and Hulk (what?) work.

As for the newbies, Wanda and Pietro are abilities first, characters second, and accents third. They get one scene to talk about their tragic backstory and explain their motivation, but they never really come alive as (meta)human beings. Paul Bettany, despite less screen time, makes more of an impact as the Vision. This is the first time Bettany has actually appeared in a Marvel film after voicing Stark’s A.I. butler J.A.R.V.I.S. since day one, so he’s no doubt relishing the opportunity. As for Ultron himself, I have to admit that I was a little underwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with James Spader’s performance. His voice – so cold, so smugly intelligent, so incapable of saying anything without it sounding slightly sarcastic – is just perfect for this type of character. But Ultron's personality is nothing more than evil robot 101 with a Pinocchio complex and some Whedonisms thrown in.

Where Age of Ultron does manage to surpass its predecessor is in the action sequences, although the final showdown is just another urban battle between the Avengers and the bad guy's disposable army, which Whedon does manage to add a little bit of a twist to. The film has a lot of fun showing how these different heroes would work together in a fight, how they would combine their varying powers and abilities to battle HYDRA minions or Ultron’s many duplicates. The appeal of these films has always been the thrill of seeing these character interacting with each other, and not just fighting together but hanging out and having fun. One of the best scenes is just everyone at a party, laughing and getting drunk and taking part in childish pissing contests over who has the most awesome girlfriend (sorry, Thor, but the correct answer is Peggy Carter).

Notes and Quotes

— Whedon clearly loves to get his characters in iconic 360 tracking shots.

— Andy Serkis’ entire role is just one big Black Panther prologue. Most of the film is set up for Phase 3 which does hamper things

— Whedon's original cut was three hours plus. An extended version of the film will be released on DVD and Blu-ray along with an alternative ending. Hopefully this will include the cut Loki scene (yes, there is one).

— There is no post credit scene so don't bother staying all the way to the end.

Tony: “Actually, he’s the boss. I just pay for everything and design everything and make everyone look cooler.”

Clint: “The city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.”

Maria: “He’s fast and she’s weird.”

Tony: "Shit." Steve: "Language."

Three out of four Asgardian versions of Stanley Kubrick films.

Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011

[aros001]

Read through light novel vol. 4. Random thoughts.

I don't think I've ever seen an adaptation/source material relationship quite like that between Goblin Slayer's anime and light novels.

Episodes 1-4: most of vol. 1. Episode 5: mix of vol. 1 and beginning of vol. 4. Episodes 6-9: Entirety of vol. 2. Episodes 10-12: Rest of vol. 1. It certainly wasn't a bad season but it's funny to see the books adapted in such an almost random order. Closest I've ever had to this was Rising of the Shield Hero, which adapted vols. 1-5, the beginning of 6, and then at the end a little bit from vol. 10.

“There are people who use a torch instead of a lantern, because it doubles as a weapon.”

Guild Girl mentioned with a smile that rats and insects both despised fire.

“What kind of adventurer would do something like that?”

Goblin Slayer: "You've got something on your face."

Goblin: "GORB?"

[Stabs goblin in face with burning torch]

Goblin Slayer: "It was pain!"

That second chapter really suckered me in at first into thinking it was a flashback, but I suppose that was the idea. It's like when Batman saves a family from an alley mugging. It's a classic way of showing the hero keeping what happened to them from happening to anyone else. Goblin Slayer is making a difference, even if he doesn't always feel like he is because of how endless the world's number of goblins seems to be.

As much as Spearman could stand to take the hint that Guild Girl is not into him, I do really like that Spearman isn't at all a bad dude. Again, he has a spear but he's not a Motoyasu. He's not hitting on every attractive woman he meets or treating his party as an excuse to build a harem for himself. Witch feels like his trusted ally and equal before anything else, not just someone he's trying to impress because she's got big bizongas. Admittedly I'm not entirely sure what his relationship with her is. The implication is that she maybe likes him romantically (seeing Guild Girl as a romantic rival and all) and they talk about going on "dates" but it's hard to tell how serious either is being about that.

The chapter with the goblin sentry guard was kind of interesting for me, because part of the way into reading it I realized I had read it before...the manga version. I'm stumbled upon the chapter by accident through a Pintrest link of one of the pages where Goblin Slayer is carrying poor spear girl (Spearwoman?) out of the cave. At the time I'd thought it was a fan-comic, not because it was badly drawn but because the goblins had a different design. Between that and this chapter, I think the manga's was harder to get through, but for a different reason than the anime could be. The anime had audio, so the screams from Fighter and Priestess when the champion bit her arm were what left me really shaken up (Fighter especially because, while I wasn't seeing it, I knew what was happening). With the manga, how much of Spearwoman's body was shown off, the positions she was in, and the angles of the camera made it feel uncomfortably like a porn comic. I don't have a problem with fanservice in and of itself. This volume and previous ones have plenty of fanservicey artwork. But there's a time and a place for it. Cow Girl and Priestess trying on battle bikinis and High Elf Archer waking up in the nude? It's pervy but still harmless. A woman being violently raped should not be used to titillate the audience and I'm so glad the light novels have had the good taste (so far) to not do anything like that with its illustrations. Even High Elf Archer, when her clothes were torn away by the goblins in Water Town, she escapes non-violated and we get the art of her helping Goblin Slayer walk, but she's not drawn at all in a sexual way despite being half-naked.

But back to the actual volume, I really liked showing things from the goblin guard's perspective. The goblin happy with the spear he stole...at first. But then wondering if the belt would have been better and then hating the goblin who got the belt instead of his "stupid" spear, with said goblin likely thinking the same about him, just the other way around. Again, they're not mindless monsters. They're incredibly selfish and self-centered, each one believing he is the best and thus that he is the one entitled to everything. It also serves as another reminder that goblins are no victim of racial circumstances. Yes, there are no females of their race and thus they have to force themselves on others in order to procreate...but they seem like they would probably be doing that regardless. When their victim fights back, they hurt her more as punishment and to break her. And when their victim doesn't fight back, allowing themselves to be violated so that hopefully it won't hurt anymore (yeah, there's a lot in this chapter that's hard to get through but that especially with how unfortunately real that mentality feels), the goblins hurt them even more, taking it as an excuse to go as far as they can with them.

These aren't mindless monsters that have to rape to survive. They like the pain and suffering they cause others.

Which is where he comes in; to stab them, impale them, light them on fire, and kick them in the d*ck before stabbing them again.

Hm? Cow Girl thought suspiciously, but an explanation was soon forthcoming.

“Today is...a bit of a rough day for it...”

“Sure.” Cow Girl gave a strained smile and nodded. It was something every woman had to deal with.

You know...I've read through three other fantasy LN series in full thus far. Overlord, Konosuba, and Rising of the Shield. And I'm pretty sure out of all of them (and even out of the majority of other series I've read/watched), Goblin Slayer is the only one I've seen that even acknowledges girls having their periods. I get that it's like watching a character go to the bathroom; it's not usually relevant to the story and you can just assume it's happening off-screen. But it still just sat with me for a moment and I went "...Huh. Yeah, that would be a problem for them, wouldn't it?"

Also, these two are just adorable together. I like that they're friends. They don't pass the Bechdel test (though High Elf Archer and Guild Girl surprisingly do) but their bonding was still great to read.

“I have no interest in magical swords, but I do have a ring.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It allows underwater breathing,” Goblin Slayer said briefly. “Even if the goblins stole it, it would do no harm.”

“What would they even want it for? Wait a second—you just assume it’ll get stolen?”

Spearman was pressing on his temples, but the steel helmet nodded and said, “Of course. It wouldn’t fit on a goblin finger.”

After Cow Girl and Priestess trying on the battle bikinis I was already laughing at the idea of a Goblin Slayer beach episode. Now I really want to see that. Everyone's on the beach showing off their summer bodies and swimwear while he's still in his full armor. They're all playing volleyball and building sandcastles and he's slowly turning the ocean red as he's just murdering goblin sharks all day.

All seriousness through, I do love this consistency with Goblin Slayer's character and methods. We've seen tons of goblins throughout this story and the only ones that maybe would have benefited from underwater breathing would have been the ones on the boats in the sewers of Water Town. Otherwise, yeah, it'd be useless to a basic nest and they'd have almost no way of finding out what it can even do, so they wouldn't even move elsewhere to take advantage of such magic. Plus he has apparently destroyed nests by flooding them before, so it makes sense he'd want to prepare himself for just in case he ever got caught up in the water.

Also, Goblin Slayer, Heavy Warrior, and Spearman were a really fun team to see work together. I love the sense of respect the three share and that Goblin Slayer never has any problem acknowledging how much better they are than him when it comes to things like leadership, charisma, enthusiasm, or just certain general abilities. If there is a little bit of competitiveness it's still very friendly and never becomes a pissing contest between the three. Heavy Warrior and Spearman don't exist just to make Goblin Slayer look good by comparison. In fact, they're very good at what they do. It's just what they do isn't murdering the ever-loving sh*t out of goblins, thus why they're not the ones we're following the story through.

“I picked up the spear,” he said. “The shaft is broken, but the point remains.”

"You are hurt and broken right now. But you can recover. You can be okay again."

This is probably just me looking way too deep into things but I like to believe Goblin Slayer said those words because of his party's, and especially Priestess', influence on him. I'm sure he's saved many women from goblins in the past but before Priestess I think he just saved their lives, sent them off to the temple, and then just kept moving on without looking back, thinking about nothing other than killing more goblins. After all his and Priestess' time together, and her making it clear he played no small part in helping her keep moving after the tragedy of her first party, maybe he's now wondering if there's more he can do to help these women recover, even if it's just a few kind words to help them hold onto their sanity after what they've been through. Spearwoman was so attached to that spear that hearing that it's still intact enough to be fixed maybe helped her believe she could be too.

“Isn’t it?” She stuck out her delightfully average chest, as proud as if she had grown it herself. “And you know what? The person who brought it was someone you saved recently.”

“...Was it, now?”

“Uh-huh!” Guild Girl let her eyes drift to the corn with an expression that bespoke relief. It was rare that adventurers or mercenaries found themselves with a second chance when they had failed once. “It’s great, huh?”

Does that imply it was Spearwoman? I'm hoping so. It'd be nice if someone who was used by the goblins (hopefully NEVER one of the girls in the main cast) did still manage to go back to being an adventurer again and wasn't just left permanently defeated. Honestly, it'd be cool if either her or Fighter or someone like I'm describing came back and adventured with GS's crew for a bit. Goblin Slayer witnessed what they do and it almost happened to Priestess and High Elf Archer but we don't have anyone yet who was raped by the goblins and yet is still fighting. Sword Maiden is about the closest but her very understandable trauma and duties as the Sword Maiden keep her away.

God count: Earth Mother, Supreme God, Deity of the Basin, Krome

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/fu0b1w/read_through_light_novel_vol_4_random_thoughts/

[emmaspirate]

The Birds

A/N: So after a much needed break from writing I’m back. @lenfaz​ beta’d this chapter for me a super duper long time ago and I’m finally posting. Yay! Thank you for everyone who has stuck around. Hope you enjoy. 

Summary: Meet Emma Swan: mother, detective, and angel. She’s just trying to get through her eternal afterlife in one piece. Naturally the universe has other plans for her. When a murder occurs in the divine community, she must enlist the help of angels and demons alike to help crack the case. Enter Killian Jones, a mysterious demon who has every intention of making Emma’s life a living hell. Angel/Demon AU. This has been done before and I’m sure other attempts are better than mine, but I thought I’d give it a shot. There is a depiction of a crime scene at the bottom so read at your own risk!

AO3

Chapter I/Chapter II/Chapter III/Chapter IV/Chapter V/Chapter VI/Chapter VII

Chapter VIII: Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright

“And I will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death.” - Walt Whitman

Emma didn’t dream that night, which was both a relief, and the first time that had happened since Lily’s murder. She was also pleasantly surprised to find that she was not covered in dirt or blood, nor had she written any off-putting messages on the wall. It was all quite tame really, she simply awoke from the best sleep she’d had in a while in Hook’s arms.

  In Hook’s arms.

 She hadn’t realized what she was doing when her eyes had first snapped open. It had been an unfamiliar feeling, one she hadn’t experienced since Henry’s father. She’d had sex with plenty of men, of course, but she never stuck around long enough to reap any benefits of that morning-after cuddle.

  Apparently her body hadn’t forgotten how to curl up right next to a man’s.

  It was almost embarrassing how tightly she was wrapped around him; arm across his stomach, head on his chest. He wasn’t free of guilt either. Hook had remained propped against the headboard, but he’d slumped ever so slightly, and his cheek was resting atop her head. He had an arm holding her tightly against him.

  It was all so noxiously cliche that she wanted to gag. He was clearly doing a really great job watching out to make sure she didn’t murder anyone. It was best if he never knew this had happened, if she was far, far away from him when he woke up.

  Early morning light was filtering in from the sides of the heavy curtain, and she figured she’d just go downstairs and occupy herself somehow. As she disentangled herself ever so slowly from his arms, she kept trying to distract herself with new ideas as to what she could do. Maybe she’d read a book. Maybe she’d look over some of his art. Maybe she’d see if she could finally perfect her headstand. Maybe she’d find a cure for cancer. She kept trying to distract herself so that she wouldn’t think about the fact that she kind of liked being in his arms. That, at the very least, it was the one spot she felt safe, if only for a second.

  Emma did finally manage to free herself, and it was her full intention to just make a swift exit and get out of the room as quickly as possible. Of course, because she was a masochist, she just had to look back.

  He looked so small, so unthreatening, lying there in the bed. She had to imagine that having to act big, and scary, and intimidating all day was exhausting. The fact that he was dead to the world, no pun intended, allowed her to study him without interruption. Hook seemed younger when he was asleep, less angry.  He had a scar under his eye and she wanted to know how he’d gotten it. She’d always had a knack for knowing when people were lying, but he was trickier. He had more secrets than she knew what to do with, and she found that familiar curiosity creeping up. You know what they say about curiosity…

  And then, as she was staring at him for an inappropriately long amount of time, his hand twitched in his sleep. It was subtle, quick, if she didn’t have her ethereal reflexes she would’ve missed it entirely. The little reach that he did in her direction as his eyebrows furrowed in distress and he made a little murmuring sound. When she felt her heart clench up ever so slightly, she knew she was screwed. She knew that she was beginning to care about him. She didn’t want him to be in pain. She didn’t want him to be such a tortured soul. She didn’t want him to feel like he was some horrible creature undeserving of good things. It was the bare minimum of caring, not wanting someone to be hurt basically meant that she was just a good being, but it still meant that she cared.

  And Emma had promised herself a long time ago that she wasn’t going to care for anymore people.

  So she took one last glance at him, let herself care for one more moment, and then she felt her walls shoot up again.

  This time she wouldn’t let her guard down.

   Emma avoided him at all costs.

  She did her best to make it seem like a coincidence that any time he entered a room, she exited it very quickly. The angel knew she was doing a horrible job at appearing nonchalant, but it was much better than allowing herself to be vulnerable.

  If he’d thought her behavior was odd, he didn’t say anything about it. In fact, very few words were exchanged between the two of them the entire morning. Maybe he was feeling unsure about the present situation, but, either way, she wasn’t asking.

  That was the problem with the two of them, wasn’t it? She knew him well enough now to know that he was almost as frustratingly stubborn as she was. That meant that it was entirely possible both of them would blatantly ignore the moment they’d had last night at any and all costs.

It shouldn’t bother her that he was seemingly content with letting it all go. She shouldn’t care that he had no qualms about keeping their relationship strictly business, the way she kept telling herself it had been before.

  After all, all they’d done was hold hands, and it hadn’t even been in a romantic way. He’d told her about his dead brother, and she’d told him that she may or may not be killing people during psychotic episodes. No big deal. So why was she acting like this?

  It probably had something to do with said psychotic episodes. They were probably messing with her hormone levels. She couldn’t care about him, that was utterly ridiculous. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself as she stared very hard out the window of the Range Rover and refused to look at him.

  “We’ll be there soon,” Smee informed her.

  Emma nodded but didn’t take her eyes off the scenery she was pretending to gaze at. She wasn’t really looking forward to meeting Arthur, nor was she particularly excited about the prospect of walking into his office of demons. Apparently, the building functioned as a government department, but it was really just a cover so that Arthur could conduct his business, or something. She wasn’t really sure, she’d kind of zoned out when Regina had been blabbing about it on the plane.

  “Be on your guard, Swan,” Hook muttered as he too pretended to stare out a window.

  He’d very childishly chosen to sit in the front seat, and at first she’d told herself that maybe he just liked the front. Then he’d refused to even look at her and she’d realized he was punishing her for avoiding him. So now they were engaged in some sort of reverse staring contest and it was all utterly ridiculous but she wasn’t going to crack first, not when distance was what was best for them. Instead she sat in the backseat and looked out the window. It felt like she was reenacting Driving Miss Daisy, except for the fact that she was an angel and he was a demon and she had no idea who Smee would be in the situation. So it was like some extremely fucked up version of Driving Miss Daisy.  

  She was, however, momentarily grateful that they were seated in different parts of the car as they pulled up to where Arthur ruled. It meant Hook couldn’t see the horror etched on her face.

  It was an old building, probably older than Hook himself. He’d said he’d died in the peasant’s revolt, which had taken place in 1381, thank you Google, so, yeah, the building was old. Old and large and very intimidating. Architecturally, it looked vaguely like the Palace of Westminster, minus Big Ben. The building was, quite frankly, exactly where she’d imagine the Supreme Overlord, or whatever he was calling himself, would conduct business. Set against the grey sky that looked about ready to burst with rain, the whole thing was a site to behold.

  They pulled into a small courtyard in front of the building and Emma could see Regina and Will standing a little ways away. Regina looked appropriately pissed and Will was clutching an umbrella looking equal parts skittish and enthusiastic.

  “It’s about damn time,” Regina called as Emma opened the door.

  The angel stepped out of the car, boots crunching on the white gravel beneath her feet. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Your Majesty,” Emma replied in the most sarcastic tone she could muster. There was something incredibly off-putting about the atmosphere of the building. It probably had something to do with the fact that there were hundreds of demons mulling about.

  Suddenly, Hook was at her side, one arm grasping her arm firmly as he guided her towards Regina and Will. She was startled at the sudden proximity between them, but she was too stunned to say anything, instead preferring to stare at his hand like it was alien to her. “Stay close, Swan,” he instructed, eyes forward.

“I doubt you’d give me any other option,” Emma murmured.

  Hook shot her a warning look but didn’t say anything, instead turning his attention to Regina. “You ready? I’d prefer to spend as little time here as possible.”

  Regina pursued her blood red lips. “For once you and I are in agreement. Let’s get this show on the road.”

  “Right,” Hook affirmed as he dropped Emma’s arm and turned to face her. “Stay here.”

  The angel started. “What?”

  “Stay here until one of us comes back to get you. We’re going to go in and request an audience with Arthur,” Hook explained and then actually turned to leave her.

  Emma stepped after him and grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he was facing her again. “If you think I’m just going to stand here twiddling my thumbs you’re insane.”

  Now he looked pissed. “I don’t think you’re going to stand here, I know you’re going to stand here. We don’t need you going in and flying off the handle.”

  “Did you not just tell me to stay close.”

  Hook gave her a condescending smile. “Yes, from the car to Regina you were meant to stay close, and now you’re meant to stay here.”

  Emma felt her mouth literally drop open ever so slightly. “I’m not staying out here.” She attempted to move past him towards the entrance of the building but he made a move to block her.

  “Go inside I’ll meet you in there,” he called over his shoulder at the two other demons without looking away from Emma.

  She met his stare and decided to give him just a moment to explain himself if only because he kept her from murdering anyone last night. “I can’t not be a part of this,” she whispered when Regina and Will were out of earshot.

  Hook sighed. “You’re going to be a part of this; you’re going to speak to Arthur. I just want to go in first and assess the situation.”

  Emma studied his face, eyes drawn to that scar on his face again and she was suddenly reminded of this morning. “Why?”

  For just a second, he dropped the facade he always seemed to present when they were in public. He let her really see him, see that he was nervous about the situation. “I want to know exactly what I’m bringing you into. The last thing we need is you making a scene, and if things do go awry I want to be sure we can handle it.” He paused and took a deep breath, and it was almost comical how simultaneously frustrated and genuine he looked. “I’m trying my damnedest to keep you safe, Swan.”

  She just looked at him, letting his words sink in. She realized with a dull ache in her chest and a lump in her throat that she wasn't the only one who was beginning to reluctantly care about someone that they shouldn’t. “I don’t need you to keep me safe,” she murmured.

  Hook let out a dry laugh and shook his head. “If it’s all the same, Love, I’d appreciate it if you’d at least let me try.” He leaned forward then, and she could tell the mask was back in place. Giving her as flirtatious of a smile as he could seemingly muster, he said, “It’d be good for my ego.”

  She shoved him back softly and rolled her eyes. “Your ego doesn’t need anymore help.”

  Hook gave her a real smile, and she decide she quite liked those. “You’ll stay put then?”

  Emma shrugged. “Until I decide not to.”

  He smiled at her and nodded, turning on his heel and stalking into the building.

  Emma’s eyes stayed on him until she couldn’t see him anymore.

   It had taken her about two minutes to realize that Hook’s grand plan of leaving her on her own wasn’t a great one.

  She was outside, so that gave her an added advantage. It’d be very easy for her to just teleport herself out of there should things start to go awry. It was also light out, albeit overcast, and the fact that she was directly exposed to it meant her powers were stronger.

  The thing was, she’d never leave without them, and she’d venture to guess he knew that.

  The other, slightly more pressing issue, was that there were a bunch of demons milling about the courtyard. She hadn’t realized it when they’d first arrived, too distracted by her demonic companions, but it was slightly off-putting. She would just wait in the car, but naturally Smee had driven off to god only knows where. He was probably sucking out a soul or something, she wasn’t really sure what demons did in their spare time. So now she was just hanging out all by her lonesome; the only angel in a very large population of demons.

  Who were all staring at her.

  That is, those who could see her and sense her presence were staring at her. Most of them just looked confused, some of them looked pissed, but no one dared approach her as she shifted back and forth on the balls of her feet waiting for her demons to return.

  She didn’t feel him approach her, senses too overwhelmed by everything going on around her. One minute she was standing alone, and the next there was someone beside her.

  “Not everyday an angel graces us with its presence.”

  Emma’s head whipped around and she faltered ever so slightly. Even as she registered that there was indeed a man standing next to her, she still regarded him with confusion. It was like he’d materialized out of thin air. “Who in the name of god are you?”

  The man moved a hand to his chest and made like he’d just been pained. “Bold choice, using that word around all these demons.”

  Emma rolled her eyes, not in the mood. “Yeah, well, some would just call it stupidity.”

  The demon chuckled lowly. “And what, pray tell, is a stupid, beautiful creature such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

  Emma stepped back a ways, partly because he was creeping her out, but mostly so that she could get a better look at him. The man was a bit older, he’d probably been in his mid-fifties when he’d died. He was a short, skinny man and Emma sensed that if she tried to shove him over, he’d go down easily. He had thin lips and beady black eyes, and his chestnut hair skimmed his shoulders. There was something else too, something deceptively dark in the way he held himself. He was giving off a strong demonic aura, but it was more than that. She felt like she was standing next to a black hole, and she found the pull both intimidating and intoxicating. Then suddenly, not by her own accord, she blurted, “I’m waiting to meet with Arthur,” and she literally had no idea why she’d just told him that.

  The demon nodded as though it were the answer he’d been expecting. “And what do you need from the Supreme Overlord.” He asked, and just a hint of amusement leaked into his voice when he used Arthur’s title.

  She found it took every ounce of resolve she had not to give him the answer to his question. For whatever reason, Emma found that she really, really wanted to offer it up, and she had no idea why. He didn’t appear to be using any sort of dark magic on her, unless he was just so good she couldn’t even tell. “Why would I tell you that?” Emma asked, and the suspicion in her voice was as plain as day.

  He smiled at her as though their conversation was bringing him immense joy. “Fair point.” The demon turned thoughtful for a moment, eyes scanning the courtyard and building in front of them. He twirled a black cane Emma hadn’t realized he was holding around in his hand. “I can get you council with him, if that’s what you’d like.”

  Emma crossed her arms over her chest, warning bells going off in her head. She really should wait for the group, she knew that, but it would make things significantly easier if she could just cut through the bureaucracy and get right to the point. She didn’t trust the man next to her in any sense of the word, but she could handle herself, of that she was sure. “Why would you do that?”

  “Oh, I don’t do anything out of the kindness of my heart, you’ll have to give me something.”

  Emma turned away then. “Uninterested. Keep it moving, Buddy.”

  The demon chuckled. “I assure you, it’s nothing large. I just have one question.” The man paused then, and his expression suddenly turned curious. “What’s your name, Dearie?”

  Emma started, unprepared for the seemingly out of the blue question. It felt innocent enough; there wasn’t much he could do with just her name. At least, she wasn’t aware of some weird demon hex thing, but with her luck one probably existed. Nevertheless she said, “Swan. My name is Emma Swan.”

  He smiled, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. “Emma. What a lovely name.” Probably sensing her discomfort, he quickly tacked on, “My name is Robert Gold.”

  Emma gave him a tight smile in return. “Nice to meet you.”

  Gold, that was what she decided to refer to him as because Robert felt too casual, picked a non-existent piece of lint off his jacket. “Believe me, the pleasure is all mine.” Gold flexed his hand atop his cane. “And I am a man of my word.” He raised the cane and gestured towards a group of men making their way across the grass. In the middle of the pack was a very distinguished looking gentleman in a suit and everyone else made sure to give him a wide berth of space. “That’s Arthur. Approach him, tell him who you are, and he’ll meet with you.”

  Emma raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Seriously?”

  Gold looked at her like he wanted to slap her upside the head. “Seriously. You better get going, he’s a very busy man.”

  Emma stared at the demon in front of her, the whole exchange having been very bizarre. She had no idea why he’d chosen to help her, it certainly couldn’t have been out of the kindness of his heart, but she decided to let it go. Maybe demons weren’t the bad guys, at least, maybe not all of them were. “Thank you for helping me.” Emma nodded and turned to walk away, not expecting him to say anything in return.

  Of course, all of Emma’s expectations had been subverted ever since this case had begun. “It was my pleasure, Ms. Swan.”  Then, when Emma looked back to face him, he gave her a smile that made her blood run cold. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future.”

  She was going to say something in reply, but suddenly there was an itch in her back as her wings started to unfurl. Emma had to put all her energy into keeping them in place, wanting nothing less then to cause a scene. She wasn’t entirely sure what in his words had elicited that response; the conversation had been off-putting, but she hadn’t really felt unsafe. Not up until that moment.

  By the time she calmed herself down, Gold had disappeared into the shadows.

  Emma took a moment to stare at the spot he’d just been standing in, before she reminded herself that she didn’t have much time. Shaking the experience off and swallowing the bile rising in the back of her throat, she quickly turned on her heel and moved towards Arthur. He was moving very quickly, his gaze looking down at some papers he was clutching. He had on a navy blue suit that, if she was being honest with herself, looked quite good on him. He was flanked on all sides by an armed guard consisting of several beefy looking men that could probably kill her without batting an eye. He certainly had a regal air about him, perhaps more so than Regina, and she was almost certain that there was some sort of protocol that one was to follow when approaching him.

  Naturally she just flounced up to him and stood in his path.

  He didn’t notice her there, or he figured she’d move, so he just barreled right into her. His arms quickly shot out to steady himself, and he grabbed onto her forearm just a little too tightly. His guards were already in motion, raising their weapons so that they were all aimed at her. When Arthur finally looked up, Emma was unprepared for the range of responses her presence was eliciting.

There was the obvious surprise, and slight indignation, at the idea that she had nearly knocked him over without a care in the world. His expression quickly shifted into one of curiosity as he took in her defiant form, an angel in Satan’s court. There was something else there too, something that confused her to know end. He looked at her with some sort of recognition, as though he knew who she was. If he was tied to the whole Zelena business, there was a chance that he did, but it was more than that. He looked at her in an almost fond manner, as though he was happy to see her.

  Then, suddenly, his expression shifted into one of cool indifference. He was hiding his emotions. “Can I help you, Bird?” His tone was ridiculously polite, and she suspected that was simply a habit.

  Emma gave him a quick once-over to let him know that she wasn’t intimidated. “We need to talk.”

  Arthur gave her a forced laugh, and the rest of the men around him joined in boisterously. “Forgive me for being impolite, but I’m a very busy man, and I don’t even know who you are. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Arthur made a move to get around her.

  Emma mirrored his actions, blocking his way. She gave him a tight smile. “My name is Emma Swan, I’m with the Boston Police Department. Several murders have taken place in and around the area and some of the victims include members of the divine community.” She paused and gave herself a mental pat on the back; her “police voice” had really gotten better. “We just want to see what you know.”

  “And why would you assume I knew anything, Ms. Swan?”

  She’d expected that. “Your friend Zelena Mills was seen poking around one of the victim's apartments." She decided to leave out the fact that she’d thrown Zelena through a wall.

  Emma didn’t miss the way Arthur's face soured at the mention of Zelena. “I’d hardly call us friends. You’re with Regina then?”

  Emma nodded. “Regina and Killian Jones.” She could imagine that Will would be mad that she hadn’t dropped his name, but she figured it was best to remove him from the situation as best as possible.

  Somehow Arthur’s scowl only deepened when she said Killian’s name. She probably shouldn’t be surprised that the two apparently had some beef. “I already told my receptionist to tell Regina that I wasn’t taking appointments today.”

  Emma shrugged. “I didn’t know you answered to your receptionist. We wouldn’t want to inconvenience her.” She gave him a large smile, guessing that a man like him wouldn’t want to have his power questioned.

  She always was a good guesser.

  Never taking his eyes off her, Arthur inclined his head slightly towards one of his guards. “Tell Gwen that I’ll see Regina after all.” He extended an arm towards Emma and she tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow.

  Together the angel and the demon walked into the building.

   “Would you like something to drink?”

  Emma turned to look over her shoulder at Arthur, who was perusing the bar set up in his office. She imagined that most of the spirits on the shelf were older than her. “Rum, please,” she replied, giving him a tight smile.

He pulled up the bottle and poured the amber liquid into a crystal glass. “Sit,” he told her as he passed her the drink.

  She took a small sip and then crossed her arms. The drink wasn’t for her. “I’ll stand until they get here.”

  Arthur smiled. “I won’t bite, I can assure you. Sit.” His tone was slightly more emphatic now.

  Emma stayed where she was. “I’m fine.”

  “That wasn’t a request, Ms. Swan.”

  Emma cocked her head, and gave him a sneer. “I’m not a demon, I don’t have to listen to you.”

  Arthur stared at her for a beat, the smile dropping from his face. He gave her a dark chuckle as he made his way over to his desk. “You’re right; you don’t. I could kill you though, so you’d be wise to do what I tell you to,” he told her as he sat down.

  She pondered her options for a moment before she decided that he didn’t seem like the type to make empty threats. Moving at a glacial pace, she made her way over to the two chairs that were facing his. The demon gestured his hand out to one of them, and Emma never broke eye contact as she sat down in the other one. “Happy?” She purred as she crossed her ankles.

  “You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?”  

  Emma was about to reply with some smart, scathing comment when the door opened. She turned her head so fast she was certain it would’ve given her whiplash had she been human.

  She never thought she’d be so happy to see three demons in her entire life. They, on the other hand, looked incredibly confused by her presence. Clearly, no one had told them she’d be here.

  “Ms. Swan, I didn’t know you were already here,” Regina said, hesitation in her voice.

  Will charged forward and moved towards the open seat next to her, flopping down with a grunt. “Figures ya’d get the party started early.” He winked and shot her a grin, clearly excited for whatever was about to go down.

  Emma gave him a nod and a smile before turning her attention to Hook. He hadn’t said anything, which probably wasn’t a great sign, since he always had something to add. She was expecting him to be shooting her some sort of pissed off look, but she quickly realized he was staring daggers at Arthur. He hadn’t mentioned there being any issues between the two of them. “Hook,” Emma called.

  He didn’t look at her. “Good to see you again, Mate. Glad to know that kingdom is faring well, given the fact that it’s king has got a few screws loose.” Emma was used to Hook being a bit crass, but this was something else. There was something malicious in his voice.

  “Careful, Hook. This might just be the last time you see me.” Arthur spun his drink, bourbon, around in his glass.

  “If you could kill me, you’d have done that a long time ago,” Hook challenged, and Emma expected that to be it. She expected to watch him die right then and there. From what she knew, Arthur was the most powerful demon in the world, he clearly had the means to end anyone he wanted to.

  For whatever reason, he didn’t kill Hook that day.

  When the situation seemed to have diffused slightly, Emma tried to get his attention again. “Hook,” she called and this time he looked at her. She held the rum up and he stared at the glass, unsure of what she wanted. “It’s for you.”

  “Me?” He asked, and there was something cute in how unsure he sounded.

  “Yes.”

  Hook took the glass, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. “Thank you.”

  Emma nodded, smiled. He was so untrusting, and probably for good reason. She couldn’t really discourage that without seeming like a hypocrite, no one was more untrusting than her, but she wanted to ease his mind a little. She could sense there was some unsavory history between the two demons, and Hook spoke of Arthur with nothing short of hatred, but she really needed him to keep calm. Quite frankly, as long as he could keep his damn mouth shut she’d consider this entire endeavor a success. “So,” Emma began.

  Arthur interrupted her before she could even get into it. “Listen, I seriously doubt I’m going to be of much help to you all. You may be better assisted by interviewing someone else.”

  “Nevertheless,” Regina cut in with a grimace masquerading as a grin. “It’s important for us to cross our t’s and dot our i’s, so if you could listen to Emma and answer her questions, it would be easier for all of us.”

  Emma was surprised at the assist from Regina, and it seemed to work wonders in shutting Arthur up, so she continued. “As I was going to say, about a week ago an angel, a demon, and a human were all murdered in a Boston area home. Now these murders have been taking place on this day each year for the past several years, but we haven’t received confirmation that past victims have been ethereal in nature.”

  Arthur, who had been staring pointedly at his desk while she spoke, looked up. “I can imagine it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.”

  Emma bristled, his tone was too accusatory for her liking. “If you aren’t looking, yeah, it can be pretty hard to figure out, and considering the fact that the rest of Boston PD are human, I can imagine they aren’t checking each victim to figure out if they’re an angel or a demon.”

  Arthur held up his hands in consent. “Fair enough. Carry on.”

  “One of the victims, the demon, was a woman named Lily Page. Hook and I,” Emma gestured at the man at her side, who looked like he was trying very hard to set Arthur on fire with his gaze. “Went to her apartment and ran into Zelena. There was a bit of a confrontation, the details don’t matter much, but we know you two work closely together.”

  Arthur stood up then, clearly deciding that he was done listening to her. “Zelena and I don’t work together. She works under me.”

  “In more ways then one, isn’t that right, Mate,” Hook added.  

  Emma decided, as Arthur stared at him with hatred in his eyes, that Hook had a death wish. At this point she wouldn’t even blame Arthur for killing him, she had no idea why he hadn’t made a move to do so yet. Instead, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Nevertheless, I don’t know anything about the murder or Lily what’s-her-name. I haven’t seen or heard from Zelena in several months.”

  “Wait,” Regina interrupted, her voice coming out in a very shrill manner. “You are sleeping with my sister? I thought that was just an idiotic quip.”

  Hook gave her a goading smile. “Oh no, Darling, I never make false accusations. It goes against my code.”

  “I doubt that,” Arthur sneered.

  Emma was about to cut in, get them all back on track the way she seemingly always was forced to, but she was interrupted by the voices in her head. It was one very specific voice; her brother’s. He was just saying her name over and over again in a somewhat skeptical tone, clearly trying to get her attention.

  He was praying.

  Prayers didn’t normally work over such long distances, unless of course you were praying to one specific angel. It happened very rarely now that humans were less aware of their presence, and didn’t really credit things like childbirth or rainfall to them anymore. However, she’d told David that if he needed her he could pray to her and she’d get in contact with him, because there was no way she’d pay for an international plan.

  No matter what was going on in her life, her family always came first, and so she said, “Can you all excuse me for just a moment.”

  Arthur was the only one in the room who didn’t turn to stare at her in disbelief. “No worries, in fact, I think you all should go.”

  “Hang on a minute, I just need to make a quick phone call and we can continue this discussion,” Emma protested.

  Arthur stood and straightened his suit, tugging it down at the bottom. “No, we can’t. Not unless you arrest me, and I don’t think you have the evidence, nor the power to do so. We’re done here.” With his words, a rush of dark magic flooded the room, suffocating Emma and trapping her where she stood. There was a reason he was Supreme Overlord, or whatever it was, and they all knew it.

  He knew it too.

  That much was apparent as he glided past all of them with a confidence that only came with knowing that you were untouchable. Then, when he reached the door, he seemed to reconsider. He turned back towards them and Emma was surprised when his gaze went directly to her.

  Time felt like it froze as he slinked back towards her, eyes alight with devilish glee. She didn’t even register that his hand was moving towards hers, until his fingers had wrapped themselves around her in a ironclad grip. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hook start towards her, but Regina held up a warning hand. Slowly, so slowly she could count every one of her heartbeats as time moved along, Arthur placed a delicate kiss to the back of her hand.

  “Perhaps, Ms. Swan, if you want to know who the true monster is, you should look in the mirror,” he purred. Then he glanced up and gave her a look that meant only one thing.

  He knew.

  And with one simple look, she was running out the door. She had no idea where she was going, she just knew that she needed to leave. She needed to get as far away as possible. Her chest was far too tight, her lungs ready to burst as she dragged in breath after breath. She vaguely registered that she was moving too far too quickly to simply be running, and that she was probably using light magic to transport herself down the endless hallways. Given that she was surrounded by demons and darkness, that probably wasn’t the best idea, but she also felt she didn’t have a choice. Her head was too foggy to be making any rational choices.

  She suddenly became aware of a very dark presence coming up behind her. It was moving quickly, and sticking a little too close for it to not be following her. Spinning on her heel, she let her wings fly out and shifted into an ethereal state, prepared to greet whoever it was with a hell of a lot of rage.

  She should’ve known it was him.

  Her shadow.

  Hook grabbed her arms and shoved her back into a little alcove. “You need to calm down,” he commanded, his tone urgent.

  He definitely wasn’t lacking in the bravery department, laying a hand on her when, in her current state, she could probably do some serious damage. “Calm down? He knows, Hook, he knows,” she replied, and her voice did not sound nearly as hysterical as she felt. She vaguely registered thunder shaking the building.

  “Do you hear yourself? Arthur doesn’t know.”

  The lights surged. “You heard him! You saw him! He knows, there’s no way he doesn’t.”

  Hook was still holding her arms. “Arthur is a sadistic prick who’s really good at reading people, but he doesn’t know shit. Trust me, I’ve known him long enough to tell when he’s bluffing. You’re a powerful angel, he was just trying to get under your skin.”

  Emma pondered his words and decided that, while she wasn’t satisfied, they made sense. They eased her mind ever so slightly, which, for whatever reason, pissed her off in a new way. She didn’t want it to be his words that calmed the raging storm, but nevertheless, the lights dimmed and the thunder wasn’t quite as loud. “I’m fine,” Emma whispered, sagging ever so slightly.

  “You’re fine?”

  Emma shot him an aggravated look. It wasn’t fair that he was going to have to bear the brunt of her frustration. Didn’t mean she wasn’t going to make him. After all, he was the only one who knew her secret, and, more importantly, he was right in front of her. “That’s what I said, isn’t it?” She growled and ripped her arms from his grasp. “Do you have a phone?”

  Hook looked at her slightly bewildered, but produced one anyways. “Say please,” he demanded.

  Emma, unamused, took the device without a word. She punched in her brother’s number and began to tap her foot against the marble floor. It rang twice. “David,” she barked.

  She could practically feel her brother cringing on the other end. “You’re not happy. That’s going to make this a hell of a lot harder.”

  “Make what a lot harder?”

  “I need you to humor me here, Emma.” He was using his big brother tone, the one that was slightly patronizing and carried a bit of a warning.

  “David, I need you to cut to the chase here.”

  Her brother took a deep breath and then it all came out in a rush. “I reached out to a couple of stations across the country, asking them if they’d ever seen anything similar to what we have. I didn’t expect to hear anything back, but I got a hit. There were several murders over the course of multiple years before they stopped and then started up again in Boston.” Her brother sounded guilty, and she was mildly glad he seemed to recognize he shouldn’t have proceeded without her. “I didn’t want to worry you, so I figured I’d check it out while you were in London, that way when it turned out to be a bust, we wouldn’t have an issue. Except it didn’t turn out to be a bust, and now Mary Margaret, Henry, and I are all out here, and, well, I think you guys should be out here too.”

  Emma paused. David sounded nervous, and he wasn’t one to get nervous. “Where’s here?”

  There was a beat. “Phoenix.”

  The angel felt all the air rush out of her lungs as she started to get worked up again. “You’re in Phoenix?”

  “Yes, and Emma…”

  Suddenly she couldn’t hear him anymore, her eyes having drifted over to a regal looking portrait hanging a few feet away. Emma hadn’t noticed it before, too distracted by her minor breakdown. She made her way over to it slowly, trying to make sure that she was right, that she did recognize the man in it. He was very handsome; dark skin that was augmented by the heavy blue robes he was wearing, and brown eyes that suggested he knew far more than anyone should.

  “Swan?” She heard Hook’s voice call out, but she was already deep inside her own head.

  “We need to go, Emma. They’re coming,” the man implored.

  “No, no, I have to get to him, I have to-“ She began to pull away, barely recognizing her own voice. She sounded desperate beyond belief.

  “We don’t have time. We need to go, we need to go.”

  “No!” she screamed, and if she hadn’t recognized her voice before, she surely didn’t now. She sounded dark. She sounded dangerous.

  Suddenly, as if not by her own accord, her arm went sweeping out and the man flew backwards into a nearby tree. She felt her resolve harden. He couldn’t stop her.

  He was fading quickly, his head bleeding heavily. Still, he reached out to her. “Emma, please, don't do this. Don’t go down this path again. If you do, all our work is lost.”

  She stumbled forward, her legs seemingly carrying her towards the painting without her consent. It was the man from that first dream, that first memory. She’d known him and she’d known him well.

  She almost smiled when she saw that there was a tiny placard beneath the portrait telling her his name. She would’ve smiled if not for the lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes that prevented her from doing so.

  Merlin.

[sol1056]

I can’t seem to reblog the response directly, so I’m just linking to it. All of @aquaburst07′s comment is worth reading, but I’m replying to this part in particular:

I still think [GoLion] was an attempt to cash in on what Gundam [did] a million times better, along with another attempt to shock the audience into thinking it is mature and edgy, but it still does show how the people behind that series see war. In addition to that, it’s less about defeating the Galra, but more about Altea defending themselves from the Galra.

Thanks to its numerous reboots and long history, Gundam is a really interesting comparison-point. So with all apologies to @nelsonbrandela‘s attempt to watch all the series, here’s a severely truncated summary of how empire is presented across a sampling of Gundam series over the past 30+ years.

First generation gundam (UC), broadcast from 1979 with continuations and sequels through the late 80s. The UC continuum has a strong anti-war sentiment, thanks to Tomino’s childhood during the war. It establishes the basic components: earth, space colonies, and revolution. Its protagonist is both Earth-born and implied Japanese ethnicity, standing in as the Everyman character, fighting the rebels. As I recall, pacifism doesn’t loom quite as large over this story, and the focus is more on the cost of war. (Also, the death rate is brutal.)

In the 90s, we got the AC timeline (Wing). Again, earth, space colonies, revolution. But in reflection of changing political sentiment, Wing flips a few things. Now the ethnically-Japanese everyman protagonist is one of the rebels, from a space colony, and earth is the antagonist. The politics also gets muddier, with a debate about the role of pacifism. 

Just to compare the first two major timelines and the political and economic atmosphere at the time of their airings: the first timeline ran during a period of massive economic and cultural productivity for Japan. There was a sense of ‘we produce, others consume, and what do we get for that’, coupled with tensions among the five tigers in terms of economic power, bolstered by US nuclear support. Ergo, the theme of a once-great power now getting trampled by the political/military might of what had once been a subjugated colony. 

In contrast, Wing was broadcast after the bubble popped, and Japan hit hard times. Now the everyman protagonist could be an outright aggressor, fighting back against crushing (economic) defeat. Keep in mind, too, that as Japan’s economy plummeted, the American economy was experiencing growth like it hadn’t seen since the end of WWII. The tables had effectively turned, from ‘we can outdo our previous overlords’ to ‘we are losing the (economic) war and being ground under someone’s heel’.    

And then onto the CE timeline and SEED, broadcast in 2002-3, The (again, ethnically Japanese) protagonist doesn’t just live on a space colony. His colony is both explicitly identified as Japanese, and pacifist, and neutral. Remember, it had only been a year since 9/11, and the US was chest-thumping for war. Japan’s position was basically, hey, Article 9, people (look it up). Where the UC and AC timelines center their POV on one side or the other of rebellion/war, the CE timeline places the POV as a pacifist outsider.   

By 2008, we get Gundam 00, which iirc was also the first major Gundam series whose core protagonist (Setsuna) was not ethnically Japanese. (He’s not even much of an everyman; that POV is provided by another character.) 00 was directly influenced by the personal experiences of animators who’d provided JSDF support to the war in Afghanistan, and their fingerprints are all over the first season of 00. No space colonies here; the factions are both muddier and more pointed in reference to the political climate of the late aughts; the US is canonically one among several superpowers looking to colonize, meddle, extract resources, and then destroy in their wake. It’s possibly among the most immediately-relevant of any of the Gundam series. (It’s also the first time I could ever recall seeing a Gundam character showing explicit, consistent indications of PTSD.)

And most recent is the PD timeline, with Iron-Blooded Orphans. We’re back to space colonies, this time on Mars, but instead of the colonies producing resources that Earth consumes, the colonies are dependent on Earth to provide. (A flip of the colonial position in AC/Wing, where the colonies argued Earth was sucking them dry.) Our protagonist is implied Japanese, and a rebel, fighting to gain resources denied by superpowers. It’s a curious parallel to the rising debates about Article 9 and a growing undercurrent of dissatisfaction with pacifism as a viable political position. In a way, one of the arguments is that this imposed pacifist neutrality is blocking Japan from achieving equal standing among the world’s powers. Gundam just takes that current political atmosphere, maps colony and overlord to it, and crafts a story from the backdrop. 

It’s important to remember that colonialism has variations; the economic version most common today is neo-colonialism, which uses capitalism and globalization (cultural imperialism) to hold power over developing countries. Think World Bank or the IMF: if you want loans for development, you must enact the following policies in your own autonomous state. Classic imperialism is the use of direct military control (ie Japan’s occupation of its neighbors or the American occupation of Japan), while hegemonic colonialism uses indirect political control (ie US control of Puerto Rico, American Samoa, Guam, etc). 

Coming back around to VLD, it’s effectively skipped a whole lot of development in (and representations of) empire. That’s a big part of why it feels so naive and shallow to me. VLD reboots a story whose core understanding of empire was rooted in pure defense against an aggressive upstart; the implication was that if Voltron were unleashed, there would be no contest. Hence, it had to be held in check by a morality that defined it as ‘for defense only’ (much like the perception of the JSDF, and Japan itself).  

But changing the Paladins’ efforts to offensive maneuvers hollows out that original paradigm. In the absence of that morality of pacifism and self-defense, there are no brakes on Voltron, so the Galran empire must be made supremely overwhelming, or else the story would be over as soon as Voltron formed. And that means the dynamic -- the discussion -- of ‘empire’ has changed, yet none of this is reflected in the VLD reboot. 

The most we’ve gotten is a classic imperialism: military occupation, designed to drain resources in a strictly-controlled one-way consumption from colonized to colonizer. Yet military occupations are massive efforts. There’s a reason they’ve been mostly tossed aside in favor of neo-colonialism, where control of resources keeps the colonized in check, rather than actual boots on the ground. Frankly, given the model VLD has presented, the Galran empire would have to have a gajillion bots to control every outpost and far-flung galaxy in such a micromanaging imperial style. (Which makes it even more stupid that you can overthrow a single base just by shutting down power. Why is it Voltron’s the first one to think of doing this? I strongly dislike stories that only know how to make the heroes seem smart by making everyone else be stupid.) 

Related to that, it’s possible Lotor’s idea of colonial agency isn’t meant as a federation of planets/systems, but as a hegemonic colonialism akin to the current American empire. Puerto Rico has self-rule, after all, excepting that (like Washington DC) it is still ultimately voiceless when it comes to its own fate, against decisions by the US Congress. I just don’t know if the EPs/writers have enough savvy to catch onto the fact that ‘self-rule’ doesn’t automatically mean true agency, or even having a voice. 

Furthermore, when you scale up empire to the level of planetary control (much like the US/EU/UK western juggernaut) -- let alone galactic control -- there’s a huge cultural impact. We should see regular civilians (including prisoners) dressed in Galran styles and colors; their food, architecture, fashion, historical records, whatever -- everything should be Galran or Galran-influenced. That cultural power should be everywhere, undeniable, unavoidable. That’s the core of neo-colonialism. You no longer expend your own resources controlling every last bit of the colonized. Instead, you hold out your (superior) culture and make the colonized jump to gain capital, whether material, economic, or cultural. 

And the most important aspect of that is that empire doesn’t end just because the occupation has -- this is possibly Japan’s greatest lesson (and biggest struggle) after what really just amounted to only about five years of occupation. It’s that having been colonized, the effects last for decades. Centuries, even. The oppressor is no longer omnipresent, but the oppressed continue in the same patterns, chasing after the oppressor.   

Americans don’t just lack an understanding of direct warfare, we’ve also conveniently blocked out, dismissed, or outright silenced any of our marginal communities who could show us the impact of our imperial control. And not just on external lands/people, but on our own peoples. Throughout our history, we have effectively treated our Black, LGBT, Hispanic, and Indigenous communities as subaltern colonized classes, if we didn’t just try to exterminate them utterly. Whether classic imperialism, hegemonic control, or capitalist neo-colonialism, we’ve done them all, and we’ve done them all to our own citizens. That’s an uncomfortable truth for a lot of people, especially those who continue to benefit from those systems.

So it doesn’t surprise me that American writers be clueless, at first. It just pisses me off that they don’t even seem to be interested in understanding the cultural and moral arguments in the source material or its source culture. 

Tangentially, I saw a response elsewhere on the various downstream threads about how the US can’t (or shouldn’t, it wasn’t clear) be compared to the Galra, who had eradicated an entire people, leaving only two overlooked survivors. I direct you to the histories of indigenous peoples in America. If you think the US Govt wouldn’t have cheered at the thought of complete and total genocide of every single indigenous person in US territory (and we did put a damn lot of effort and time into trying to achieve it), I suggest you are long overdue for learning about America’s blood-soaked history. 

What indigenous cultures remain in the US are absolutely in spite of the US Govt, and not because of it.

[makuta5200]

Anime: KanColle, Overlord, Akuma no Riddle, Owari no Seraph

KanColle: never seen it | need to see it | hate it | ugh | it was okay | i liked it | LOVED IT | one of my faves

KanColle, in premise, is a very weird and off-putting franchise as a whole, but I freaking love it. It’s so bizarre in concept but works out surprisingly well when executed. The anime is just one special part of it I enjoy; I read a ton of the manga and doujins put out as well. VERY excited for the film. Kongou and Wo are the best.

Overlord: never seen it | need to see it | hate it | ugh | it was okay | i liked it | LOVED IT | one of my faves

Easily one of my favorites. Truly does the “sent to a fantasy world” story trope amazingly with the best male MC in a series. Ainz is a terrific main character, and the rest of the followers are just as much fun. I recently picked up the light novels, and I can’t wait to get into them. 

Akuma no Riddle: never seen it | need to see it | hate it | ugh | it was okay | i liked it | LOVED IT | one of my faves

Not even a contest; my favorite show. I really love practically everything about this series: the premise FINALLY does the battle royale idea great, the characters are just lovable (OTOYA BABY LITERALLY THE BEST GIRL OF ALL TIME), the art style is surprisingly beautiful at parts, and the OST is god-tier. I haven’t obsessed over a series as much as this one, and has quickly become one of my most prominent favorite things ever. 

Owari no Seraph: never seen it | need to see it | hate it | ugh | it was okay | i liked it | LOVED IT | one of my faves

Out of all the monster vs. humanity shows out there (Attack on Titan, God Eater, etc.) this is the one that I like/tolerate the most. Krul and Shinoa are great, and the action and animation can be very cool with lots of great moments. It, sadly, suffers from having the same stock issues these series tend to have (overzealous protagonist, framing the army as evil but justified in their ways, etc.), and one of the most piss-poor excuses for an ending at season two. Still, I like it overall. 

[quranreadalong]

ROMAN VS PERSIAN PISSING CONTESTS: A HISTORY (PART 4)

The year is 216 AD and it’s time for another slap fight between Rome and its erstwhile eastern neighbor. This is the last conflict between Rome and Parthia, because Parthia would cease to exist less than a decade later. It would be replaced by the Sassanids, who held the territory until the Islamic conquest brought Iran down.

Parthia wasn’t doing so great at the time. There was civil strife, rival claimants to the throne, and the perpetual threat of Rome coming back for its traditional once-every-50-years war. And their fears were not unfounded, as the Romans (under the emperor Caracalla) had taken advantage of the Parthians’ many issues to start some shit.

It began, as always, with the border territories. Both Armenia and Osroene had gradually fallen back under Parthian sway in the ensuing decades since the last round of battles, and Caracalla was displeased by this. So while the Parthians were distracted by dynasty infighting, he quickly invaded Osroene, overthrew its king, and stuck the territory back under Roman control before the Parthians could do anything about it. Then he did the same to Armenia.

After the Parthians had resolved their issues and the throne was stabilized, they decided it was time to gently deal with their most recent annoyance. For several months now, Caracalla had been asking the new Parthian king if he could marry his daughter, in exchange for Rome establishing peaceful and prosperous relations with Parthia. The king was unamused and didn’t believe Caracalla for one second. Nonetheless, Caracalla persisted, and at some point the king said “ah, fuck it, take her if it’ll make you shut up I guess”.

So Caracalla strolled into Parthia like he owned the place, ready to meet his new bride. A Roman historian recounts that the ensuing events went... poorly.

A huge mob of [Persians] gathered and stood about casually, wherever they happened to be, eager to see the bridegroom and expecting nothing out of the ordinary.

Then the signal was given, and Caracalla ordered his army to attack and massacre the spectators. Astounded by this onslaught, the [Persians] turned and fled, wounded and bleeding. Artabanus (the king) himself, snatched up and placed on a horse by some of his personal bodyguards, barely escaped with a few companions.

Well, shit. That account is probably total bullshit, but the fact that Caracalla’s Parthian adventures were remembered so shamefully probably tells you how well the remainder of his reign went. It seems that Caracalla’s campaign floundered a bit and the Parthians went on the counterattack, invading Roman territories in modern-day Turkey and Syria. This was supposed to be an ass-kicking expedition, and it was falling apart quite fast.

So Caracalla was killed by his own men not long after the above events. His successor Macrinus, who was one of the men behind the assassination, was left to clean up Caracalla’s mess.

The Roman and Parthian armies met at a site around what is now Turkey’s southern border. The Parthians came armed with their fearsome armored-guys-on-horses, along with regular guys on horses and camels. Somehow, the Romans managed to inflict serious damage on them anyway, and the armies fought each other to a very bloody standstill. Observing that the battlefield was filled with the corpses of both Romans and Persians, Macrinus sent a message to the Parthian emperor, saying “hey bro sorry bout the whole invasion thing but we killed the guy responsible let’s just chill pls”, and the Parthian emperor did in fact agree to chill (in exchange for lots of money as reparations).

Thus ended the last battle in the long series of conflicts between Rome and the Parthian Empire, which began as pointlessly as they ended.

Less than ten years later, a guy of minor-noble origin named Ardashir made a power play somewhere in the south of Iran. Ardashir was evidently a high-ranking military officer and the son of a governor, and he amassed a band of loyal followers as he took over several nearby towns and mid-sized cities. At first, he was working under the orders of his father, Papak, who was a feudal-lord-esque figure who had assassinated his overlord. When Papak died, he named his eldest son Shapur his successor; when Shapur died, Ardashir took over. Shapur may have actually been killed on Ardashir’s command--it’s unclear how he died. But one way or another, Ardashir was now in charge of his home province, and he had grander ambitions.

Ardashir quickly got territory to the east under his control, assisted by lords who decided to ally themselves with him, then swung west and made a play for the empire’s most valuable cities. He killed those lords who would not submit to him and continued onwards. Ardashir’s empire grew larger and larger by the year, to the point that he was no longer a rebel feudal lord--he was actively trying to take over the country. He created his own currency, built his own cities, and acted as though he were the monarch of the empire, despite the actual monarch still existing. Well, that didn’t last for long, because in the year 224 the Parthian army finally got its act together and marched to stop him.

The battle would prove to be the final end of the Parthians. The reigning emperor was killed, a number of his forces defected to join Ardashir, and the rest were put to death. Ardashir became the de facto leader of Persia that day, and his dynasty--the Sassanids, named after his ancestor Sasan--would lead the land for the next 400 years.

Ardashir himself would continue his spree of conquering shit throughout his lifetime, coming into conflict with Rome by extending his conquests into Roman-held territory in what is now Turkey, though the Romans took that lost territory back in the days of his successor. Instead of the once-per-50-years disastrous wars that had defined the Parthian era, this era was characterized by a lower-level, back-and-forth conflict that simmered on nearly continuously. And the Sassanids didn’t come here to play. In battles throughout the 240s and 250s, their victories included: killing an emperor (Gordian III) in battle, sacking several major Roman cities, and grabbing Armenia away from the Romans... again. Goddamn Armenia would continue to be fought over throughout the Sassanid era. At the moment, it was being ruled by kings related to the now-deposed Parthian kings, and so its leaders weren’t overly enthusiastic about allying themselves with the Sassanids.

So a few decades later, Rome kicked the Persians out of Armenia, again, and battled in Persian territory, also again, to teach the Sassanids to behave themselves. The Persians pulled back a bit and laid low for a few decades after that, ensuring that everything on the home front was stable. A semi-peaceful status quo was established and Rome re-asserted itself as the Middle East’s Top Empire until the mid-300s AD, at which point the Sassanids decided their shit was sufficiently together and it was time for round five.

⇚ previous day | next day ⇛

[mistystarshine]

Jet Pack Blues

The demon’s wings rose up and spread out behind him. It made him look like the sort of dumbass who would die trying to fuck a light. “Are you trying to imply that you don’t know who I am?” Adam grinned, allowing the beginnings of a laugh to trickle into his voice. “I dunno, man, some dipshit who throws fits in grocery stores?” “I am the sleeping dragon you have been poking ever since you stepped foot in hell,” the moth spat. “Oooh!” Adam exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Valentine or whatever the fuck!” - Or; Adam makes a few enemies – and potentially a few friends – as he continues to climb the ranks of hell.

[mistystarshine]

Wait For Me

In yet another failure on her part, it was Adam who pulled himself together first. He looked at her with a broken desperation that she never wanted to see on him and pleaded, “Look, Lute, I fucking— I know how this looks, but I swear I’m not one of those cocksuckers. I’m not running around taking people’s souls or any of that shit. I know I’m a fucking demon, but I’m not—” “Sir—” “—I didn’t just how and forget what I’m supposed to be. I fucking know I can’t get back to heaven, but I’m not going to let myself be turned into one of those evil little cunts. If you give me a chance to explain—” “—Adam, respectfully, shut up.” Adam shut up. Lute stepped forward to cradle his cheek with her flesh hand, forced herself not to flinch at the feeling of scales on her skin, and smiled softly. “It’s okay,” she softly said. “As long as it’s you, I can forgive it.” - Or; Valentino tried to use Lute against Adam. It's only fair that they destroy everything he holds dear. If they aren't derailed by their own feelings and allies, that is.

[mistystarshine]

World Burn

Valentino chuckled. “She is an angel, my dear. Adam himself has nothing to offer her now. His fall makes a mockery of heaven. Whatever affection she may have once held for him will have died along with his divinity.” “Are either of you going to tell me what the fuck you’re on about?” Vox demanded. “It is quite simple, my darling.” Valentino stepped forward to caress the side of Vox’s screen. “Adam is far too much of a smitten fool to ever raise a hand against his beloved lieutenant. But to an angel such as her?” Vox’s eyes went wide, and slowly, a wide smile stretched his face. “He’s just another sinner to be exterminated. Oh, you conniving bastard, I fucking love you.” - Or; Valentino makes things worse for everyone.

[mistystarshine]

fics delayed for a bit. got pneumonia

[mistystarshine]

I'm normally hesitant to write OCs in fanfic, but I had to make some exorcists for the next fic in The Great Overlord Pissing Contest and I really hope that you enjoy My Girl

*

In that instant, only a complete and utter moron would have spoken up.

It just so happened that they had a complete and utter moron among them.

Everyone stared at Shimmer as she raised her hand. She just stared at Adam, jaw clenched and eyes steeled with a determination that almost made it look like there was a light behind them.

Adam raised an eyebrow before leaning back in his chair, gesturing toward her, and saying, “Sure, fucking go for it I guess.”

Shimmer dropped her hand and cast a bright grin around the room. It faltered when she met an army of dead stares, yet the dimwit still managed to plaster it back into place when she turned back to Adam and said, “Great! So, Sir, since we aren’t like, officially in the exorcist army anymore, does that mean that we don’t have to follow the dress code anymore?”

Lute already hated where this was going. She pursed her lips and glanced at Adam in an attempt to convey her distaste. However, he wasn’t looking her way, too caught up in staring at Shimmer in slowly mounting befuddlement and suspicion.

“I guess?” he asked. “I mean, that’s just common fucking sense at this point.”

He shot a look at Lute, who shook her head in warning.

“Great!” Shimmer exclaimed, oblivious to the communication occurring around her. She clapped her hands together and pressed the tips of her fingers against her lips. “So, if that’s how it is now…” She tilted her hands forward so that her fingers pointed at Adam. “Can I dye my wings?”

Zeppelin pinched the bridge of her nose with a whisper of, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Guns leaned over to whisper to Roses, “Why did we bring her?”

Harp bit her lower lip and looked down at her lip.

The sinner furrowed his brow as he looked between the exorcists, but thankfully knew better than to speak of.

Adam raised his eyebrow.

Shimmer’s hands dropped down into her lap, but she continued staring Adam down hopefully.

Lute leaned over to hiss, “Sir, I can shut this down right—”

“Shhh,” Adam whispered, reaching over to pat her arm. “I kinda wanna see where this goes.”

Lute reluctantly slumped back into her seat.

“You want to dye your wings,” Adam slowly said, as if speaking to her like she was a toddler would do anything to make her a more coherent individual.

“Yeah!” Shimmer chirped. “Like yours were! Except I want mine to be silver, not gold.”

“Oh no,” Harp whispered.

Calliope leaned over to ask, “You don’t think he’s going to kill her, do you?”

No, he was not. He wasn’t going to get the chance, because Lute was moving to her feet before he had a chance to ask.

Adam grabbed her wrist and tugged her back down into her seat before she could take so much as a step in Shimmer’s direction.

Lute cast him a confused look, but all of his attention was aimed at Heaven’s most pathetic excuse for an exorcist.

“Lemme get this straight,” he said, holding up one clawed hand. “Shimmer, do you think I fucking dyed my wings?”

Shimmer blinked. “I mean, yeah? Why else would they be that color?”

[mistystarshine]

While I'm at it, have a preview of the next part of The Great Overlord Pissing Contest! (Specifically Wait For Me, because that thing ended up being so long that it had to be split in three)

It's a long one, so under a cut it goes

Shimmer dropped her hand and cast a bright grin around the room. It faltered when she met an army of dead stares, yet the dimwit still managed to plaster it back into place when she turned back to Adam and said, “Great! So, Sir, since we aren’t like, officially in the exorcist army anymore, does that mean that we don’t have to follow the dress code anymore?”

Lute already hated where this was going. She pursed her lips and glanced at Adam in an attempt to convey her distaste. However, he wasn’t looking her way, too caught up in staring at Shimmer in slowly mounting befuddlement and suspicion.

“I guess?” he asked. “I mean, that’s just common fucking sense at this point.”

He shot a look at Lute, who shook her head in warning.

“Great!” Shimmer exclaimed, oblivious to the communication occurring around her. She clapped her hands together and pressed the tips of her fingers against her lips. “So, if that’s how it is now…” She tilted her hands forward so that her fingers pointed at Adam. “Can I dye my wings?”

Zeppelin pinched the bridge of her nose with a whisper of, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Guns leaned over to whisper to Roses, “Why did we bring her?”

Harp bit her lower lip and looked down at her lip.

The sinner furrowed his brow as he looked between the exorcists, but thankfully knew better than to speak of.

Adam raised his eyebrow.

Shimmer’s hands dropped down into her lap, but she continued staring Adam down hopefully.

Lute leaned over to hiss, “Sir, I can shut this down right—”

“Shhh,” Adam whispered, reaching over to pat her arm. “I kinda wanna see where this goes.”

Lute reluctantly slumped back into her seat.

“You want to dye your wings,” Adam slowly said, as if speaking to her like she was a toddler would do anything to make her a more coherent individual.

“Yeah!” Shimmer chirped. “Like yours were! Except I want mine to be silver, not gold."

“Oh no,” Harp whispered.

Calliope leaned over to ask, “You don’t think he’s going to kill her, do you?”

No, he was not. He wasn’t going to get the chance, because Lute was moving to her feet before he had a chance to act.

Adam grabbed her wrist and tugged her back down into her seat before she could take so much as a step in Shimmer’s direction.

Lute cast him a confused look, but all of his attention was aimed at Heaven’s most pathetic excuse of an exorcist.

“Lemme get this straight,” he said, holding up one clawed hand. “Shimmer, do you think I fucking dyed my wings?”

Shimmer blinked. “I mean, yeah? Why else would they be that color?”

[mistystarshine]

ALRIGHT GANG. SO. I FINISHED THE NEXT FIC IN THE GREAT OVERLORD PISSING CONTEST.

It is 19k.

Should I split it up into three chapters for easier consumption or post it as the one-shot that I originally intended it as?

If you don't follow The Great Overlord Pissing Contest, please vote anyway with which way you'd rather read a 19k fic.