#the goal shouldn't be smooth perfection and i hate that it is for so many. does that make sense

[miek-unofficial]

i think people should have more imperfections actually. physical primarily.

[cazimagines]

Hi Cazzy!!! Congratulations on the follower milestone!!!💕💕I always enjoy everything you write. Smut are hottt and angst makes me cry and i absolutely adore the fluff too🥺🥰

I havent read all the requests you wrote so idk if you've written smth like this. but what abt a dialogue prompt "it's ok, you don't have to love me" with zemo. just take it any way you want😌

TW: mention of attmepted Su*cide

Behind the self-obsessed persona Zemo often portrayed to those around him, Zemo knew how much of a horrible person he really was.

He liked to pretend that he was the smooth guy, who was cool for getting into bad businesses like that, who remained everyone's ally when it convenience him, that he was someone who could have fun, have a laugh but couldn't be trusted.

But deep down he hated himself as much as Sam and Bucky hated him.

This was never the life he had ever thought would become of him. He had so many plans, inheriting his father's position, helping the people of Sokovia, raising his son into the best man that he could be, doing his duty for his country. But the cruel twists of fate had destroyed any hope he had of ever achieving those goals.

He didn't want to kill other people. Though he had been trained he has always killed the guilty, and though he still aimed to destroy the guilty, the avengers, it meant he had to kill innocents as well and his self-hatred for himself grew over it.

Years he spent in his cell, his own thoughts plaguing him for what he had done, the families he had torn apart just like the Avengers had once done to him. In order to take them down, he had to become just like them and the thought of it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

When Bucky offered to break Zemo out of jail, he was already forming plans in his head. This was the perfect opportunity to end everything. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to stay outside, and he refused to go back to jail. So he made the decision that he was to die.

He had tried to previously, but was prevented from doing so and so instead had suffered for years in jail with his guilt, so he had to this time, he had to bite the bullet in a literal sense.

But once again there was something he hadn't planned for. Some that came and screwed up his plans all over again.

You.

You had come along and changed everything, all of his neatly timed out plans were ruined because of you, and he wasn't even mad at you for it.

But it put him in a tough decision. He couldn't let you know how he felt. He had to keep these feelings to himself for he knew he was to die and if he grew close to you anymore, he would risk getting to the moment and not wanting to die, and what was worse, potentially hurting you with his death.

Yet no matter how much he tried to keep his distance, tried to remain cold to you. He just couldn't. Not when you were so nice, so friendly, so heartwarming and against his wishes, he fell even more hopelessly in love with you and little did he know, you the same way.

You knew you shouldn't like the man after all that he had done, but deep down you knew there was more to him, you could see the pain in his eyes, the sorrow he tried to hide about his crimes and it made your own heartache for him.

You couldn't hide these feelings forever, and so you just had to tell him before it was too late for either of you.

One evening at Zemo's safe house, Sam and Bucky had gone to bed early and you found Zemo sitting on a sofa, reading a book. Happily, you took a seat beside him making him look up at you and smile.

"I hope today hasn't been too hard on you y/n" he murmurs, closing his book so that you had his undivided attention.

"It's the same as every other day really, it feels like we are no closer to stopping Karli than we were when we started... but there has been something on my mind recently"

Zemo tilts his head curiously, "Pray, tell"

"Zemo... I like you, well, more than like you. And I know I shouldn't! But I can't help my feelings towards you, not when you have been so kind and generous to me this whole time"

When you saw the horror upon his face, instantly you felt scared that you had made a fool of yourself, and had reputedly damaged your friendship with him.

"It's okay, you don't have to love me" you quickly told him, "I just... I needed to say before something happened to either of us"

This was exactly what Zemo had always wished for yet feared at the same time. Now you were going to get hurt because of him, if he died, which was his plan, you would be deeply hurt and Zemo knew he just couldn't do that to you. Blast the plan, blast his self-loathing thoughts towards himself. He would do anything to save you from hurt, and he knew deep down though he didn't think he deserved someone like you, he was deeply pleased by your confession.

His hand slowly reached out and grasped yours, pulling it up to his lips.

"I am deeply honoured by your confession" he whispered against your fingers, "and I must admit I harbour the same feelings towards you and would like to be able to court you, though perhaps Sam and James shouldn't be told"