#the girl at hot topic was soooooo sweet and cute

[thegreenestpeach]

i love women

[heart2beom]

hiii! i hope ur doing okay <3

i was wondering what writers you would recommend that have a similar style (romance and comedy) to you since i'm new on tumblr :'P

omg wait this is sort of sweet 😭 i dont really know what my 'style' exactly is, BUT i have been waiting for this exact moment!!!! (ranting about my favorite writers my favorite beings in the world and fangirling bcs that is clearly in my nature)

OKAY OKAY LETS DO THIS!!!

i recommend

-> @jjunis

first writer i got into when stumbling upon moablr!! LITERALLY THE CUTEST SMAUs (i know i dont really make those but i swearrrrr give her soobin one a shot its so ROMCOM-ESQUE) AND all her oneshots are fluffy and cute and and

my favorite piece from them is their beomgyu smau (bcs im a struggling bamtori that eats up anything beomgyu) my beloved GHOSTING. its on hold but its soooooo fucking good, like slow burn at its core and i LOVE it. its not romantic yet but i swear its sooo worth it, the topics it tackles and the character development and the effectiveness of the flashbacks and how real each character feels ...this is the IT smau!!!!

-> @tqmies

i held off on reading for soooo long even when i found each and every summary of her fics sooooooo interesting but then one day i had free time and decided i should finally tackle my reading list and !!!!

i soooo recommend each and every fic, like its all SO good??? FOR WHAT??? so easy to read but her vocab isn't limited, and i just love that balance so much. everything is good. i recommend EVERYTHING.

but if i had to choose ONE, just ONE thing to recommend, it would be love again because i am a whore for best friends to lovers and this was the most perfect beomgyu b2l ever.

-> @minastras

um if mina isn't one of the best writers on moablr then who is????? i'd recommend for starters her yeonjun fic mr. vice president literally captured the essence of academic rivals to lovers arc so well (ill fangirl over this more on my official rec list bcs i have a lot to say but trust!!! minas the writer you're looking for)

also has a cute ongoing taehyun smau, read that too!!!

-> @tyunlatte

the most adorablest, cutest, tooth rotting fluff i squeal over their fics. im still going through their masterlist but FUCKKKKKKK everything ive read so far is SOOOOO good. also totally someone worth following, my dash is blessed every day they're the cutest!!

i'd personally recommend her entire drabble event, but my favorite has to be stay stay stay because im a pureblood swiftie and i love soobin my heart hurts

also ALSO recommend cool hot sweet love. i'm the biggest sucker for love triangles (i mean hello, two cute boys fawning over you??? sign me up ????) and the fact that we get both endings????? hail the great alex!!!

-> @hueningshaped

i can't even pinpoint one fic i'd recommend, literally just go through their entire masterlist it's all so fucking well written (hello if u see this i literally freaked out when you followed me back ur literally my idol, i am your #1 fan rereading everything youve written forever)

-> @ijhyo

absolutely insane writer, blessed this site!!!! i'd recommend their slasher series (can't find the link but im sure youll find it). i know that isnt necessarily romcomy but it was so good (i guessed the insane bitch correctly and therefore i will forever love the series for making me feel smart!!!!!)

OMG ALSO THEIR BEOMGYU FIC!! how to get the girl! once again, i am a whore for b2l.

-> @beomgyuslilracha

i havent read an entire series yet but from what ive read so far..ugh pls beg them to be a scriptwriter i need her fics on my screen, on NETFLIX, ON HULU, DISNEY+ whatever!!! plz pull a 50 shades of grey

-> @gyu-xiao

they only have three things for txt but each one of them is so good, i squealed over each fic. my favorite hyuka fic comes from them!! had me biting my knuckles trying not to scream like damn 😭

okay these are the writers i could first think of 😭 i swear i feel like i forgot three or four but oh well, enjoy your tumblr cruise 🙏

[nomoregoldfish]

I Promised You The Moon rant

Just binged it and this was from the episode by episode reaction/discussion with my partner in crime @glossyboy.

First of all, Oab stole the show, singlehandedly, which he's not supposed to. I don't think anyone expected it including himself. In the very top post when I searched his name on tumblr, he said this lol

But the truth is he played one hell of "villain" that required a very nuanced performance and he delivered it in a believable and graceful manner. Jai became the catalyst of the entire season and his rather complicated relationship with Teh was the highlight of part 2.

EP 1

From the very beginning it's clear that part 2 is very much a Teh's story rather than a balanced story about two young people's journey as a couple in the next chapter of their lives. It makes me uncomfortable they made Oh-aew clingy and pessimistic without giving him any character development.

The best part is probably the opening scene where they went paper-rock-scissors to decide who's gonna buy condoms. It felt authentic, the expectation, the hesitation, the mischievous act, all fits their characters well. Other times ep 1 was more like two adult kids playing house, literally in an empty giant ass upper middle class apartment.

EP 2

It's great that they poked the femininity vs. masculinity issue through Oh-aew, but stopped right there at the surface. Missed a perfect opportunity to go head-to-head with the controversial topic, start a debate, crush the stigma of femininity, bring something new, be a real game changer of the BL genre, and most importantly give Oh-aew some concrete character development. Part 1 showed us a gay character that's very comfortable with his sexuality and femininity, that's almost revolutionary in Asia, not as a comic relief but a leading role. Oh-aew questioned his own sexual identity once in that bra wearing scene, it's straight out of comfort zone, BOLD, and transgressive. So I expected more from part 2.

That's it? And they're already sophomores? Can't believe Oh-aew's character has been marginalized like this. It's pathetic.

But I love the brutally honest conversation at the end where Teh vented his rage and despair regarding his frustration of acting. He was acting like a dick because he's disappointed, and scared. Teh again was not afraid of showing vulnerability, making the reconciliation very realistic and touching.

EP 3

Dare I say I freaking love ep 3! The unresolved (partially sexual, but not entirely) tension between Teh and Jai was over the roof! And the built-up to their kiss was very authentic, which paled Teh and Oh-aew's much sidelined storyline, including the long anticipated sex scene (still can't believe it happened right after Jai explicitly instructed Teh to do it after the two spent a whole night bonding, like wow! Totally TRANSGRESSIVE and to some extent, kinky.) Teh looked up to the senior, idolized him, wanted to be good for him and make him proud, thirsted for the validation from him, which was mixed with affections. The workshop diary was a brilliant idea to let them open up to each other and eventually bring them close. This was what a meaningful arc of a story looked like. By contrast, there isn't a single moment between Oh-aew and Teh in part 2 that made me go "Damn it's soooooo hot!"

I know Jai/Teh wasn't the endgame but I appreciate the storyline so much. It's a very bold move considering it broke the over-glorified "one true love in one's life" fantasy of its target audience, mostly young cis women. The popular narrative of "you can only love one person through your life/one true love" in romance fictions/chick flicks was totally smashed. And it wasn't written just to stir up things between Teh and Oh-aew, it wasn't a silly fling. Instead, it's meaningful, complicated, natural, and realistic, delivered by nuanced and excellent acting from two young actors. It's hilarious that fans hate Jai with a passion and call him names.

And big news, Jai is bi?! Bravo! He's radiating bi vibes since his first appearance.

I kind of gave up at this point, the season wouldn't do Oh-aew any justice. Like my partner in crime pointed out, the costume design literally threw some "incongruous female fashion pieces" on Oh-aew, made him dye his hair red, without...making any actual point of his personality or his character development. Wardrobe was supposed to make a point in storytelling. Yes, PP wearing pink is cute, and? There's nothing else for Oh-aew. Unfortunately he's reduced to this sulky, crying, and wronged partner in a failing relationship.

EP 4

Oab again was killing it. The tension between Jai and Teh...from the rehearsal in front of Oh-aew to the dressing room pep talk, was incredibly intense and hot AF.

Was it a manipulative relationship after all? Oab was so good at conveying a character with many faces. Jai's a mentor to Teh, also a good friend, their relationship was genuine. He's also ambitious with his own goals, he used, challenged, provoked Teh in a way that benefited them both. It made sense the title of part 2, I Promised You The Moon, was from Jai's script. He promised Teh what the junior wanted the most, a bright future in acting. Teh's unconventional and unspoken feelings for Jai was the best part of the entire season in terms of creative writing, it's complicated, fragile, delicate and completely heartbreaking.

The after talk in the hallway was so well-written. It's funny (Teh joking about playwrights always write about their EXs is gold), intimate yet meticulously controlled, no one lashed out or wept. Both knew what they signed up for and Jai particularly made it clear about his motive and the purpose of the "special workshop" beforehand (or right away.) Yet it's no one's fault that Teh got carried away. He's younger, he's immature, he's more into it, it's totally natural. It's so romantic when Teh's singing karaoke in the bar with Oh-aew, yet he couldn't help but desperately staring at Jai on the floor, knowing he and the man who just turned him down were never gonna happen, they were done, but he's still madly attracted to him and his talent. He fancied Jai, at least the idea of Jai, a playwright, a director, someone knew him better than himself. That hurt beautifully.

EP 5

Teh/Oh-aew endgame at this point was pretty meaningless. Oh-aew as a leading character never got any solid character development over a span of four years. What happened between Jai and Teh wasn't just "cheating", though they surely made it look that way, like Teh's empty promise of "I won't see him again after the show ends". No matter how Oh-aew and Teh eventually reconciled, there's no emotional connection, no sparkle anymore between the couple.

But I knew for a fact they had to. Otherwise it's too much of a risk financially for the series. The creators had to take the easy way out like most traditional romances—one of the most contrived and formulaic trope where the male leading character made a mistake (usually cheating) and realized he's wrong, he deeply hurt the female leading character (Oh-aew was merely a girl substitute in part 2), then he completely changed for hell knew what reasons, started doing every nicest thing in the world to try to "win" the female character back. It has been feeding the emotionally-deprived cis female readers/audience who are frustrated with heterosexual relationship irl for decades. The formula that made romance outsell other genres of fictions combined in the 60s and 70s still sells today, under the name of boys' love. It's pathetic to see Oh-aew confess to Bas that he always "lost" to Teh. Love shouldn't be some kind of game or competition, there isn't winner or loser in love. Love is spontaneous. Oh-aew didn't lose because Teh developed feelings for someone else, and he didn't win when Teh begged him for reconciliation. People change, people move on.

And as predicted, they went for it. The ending was so absurd and tedious.

Overall, Jai's probably the hardest villain to play, he needed to be REALLY GOOD to be "the bad guy", to make his role conceivable. Oab absolutely nailed it with his talent and experience. He's not even my type or extremely good looking yet I'm 100% SOLD. I immediately re-watched the scene of him kissing Teh back hungrily at the end of ep 3 like I used to re-watch Teh/Oh-aew's steamy make out session at the end of episode 3 part 1. Coincidence?

I like some parts of both seasons for the same reason, each challenged and tried to break some outdated/contrived narratives in the BL genre. Part 1 took on the sexuality taboo by showing two same sex characters sexually attracted to each other, no more "I'm not into boys, I just happened to fall for someone of the same gender" or "pure love" bullshit. By staying true to the characters' sexuality and actually showing it with explicit, intense (and beautifully shot) scenes, the gay characters were normalized. They weren't just pure and innocent, no one was. And it created two of most unconventional gay characters in Asian pop culture, Oh-aew, a beautiful boy who's very comfortable with his own sexuality and femininity, not passive at all, taking initiative to pursue what he wanted; and Teh, a sensitive, caring and vulnerable boy who cried a lot, he's confused but also sweet and brave.

Part 2 tackled the "You can only love one person through your life" trope with a very nuanced story of "cheating". Yet neither carried out what they started. Part 1 fell short of a revolutionary piece that stayed true to "adolescent sexual turmoil", dismissing bisexuality and becoming a typical unrealistic BL fantasy in the end. And Part 2, ugh, forced a "happy ending" that almost no one digs. I understand it's extremely difficult and risky to disrupt the established norms of a genre. But sometimes being transgressive and progressive could be the same thing. A story, an artwork, has to challenge something in order to create something new and compelling.

[tellywoodtrash]

the great indian dysfunctional family ep 2 lb

(previous)

... the place the show is set in is called “kannuri”? i thought it was in coonoor, the way samar was talking about landslides... afaik there’s no such place as “kannuri”. why choose a fictional place?

ok flashing back to 6 years ago. addu and nandu are playing truth or dare. is there really a need for a bottle to be spun when there’s just the two of you?

addu’s dropping some facts/not-so-subtle hints about bisexuality.

they have chits ready with the dares written? this is faaaaaaaar more organized a truth or dare game than i’ve ever participated in

of course it dares nandu to kiss her opponent. if addu made the chits, i have a feeling ALL of them say that.

aw, it’s quite the sweet tiny peck. though slightly unwilling on nandu’s end.

seems like a bulb has gone off in addu’s head, the way she’s smittenly grinning.

nandu talks about how she can’t wait to fall in love and addu looks like this:

cut to addu in the present, sobbing her heart out. oh baby girl.

sonali and premlata are bonding by looking at old photos. awwwwwwwww yissssssss this is the relationship i’m here forrrrrrrrrrrr.

sonali is so damn cool man. she just oooozes charm and wit.

a baby photo of addu (and premlata mentioning nandu) makes sonali recall last night. 

oh no. she’s going to talk to addu. behen aapne bas kal hi entry maari hai. should you be trespassing this quickly?

she’s easing into the topic quite sensitively though. so maybe she is the right person to have this conversation.

aaaaaaaaand just as she’s breaching the topic, geeta’s here.

slight afra tafri and double meaning talk as sonali encourages addu to “wear whatever she likes” and not fear of people’s judgement, before being pulled off by geeta to some parlour apt.

chachiji, i know you mean well, but this advice is just going to make little addu here crash and burn.

samar’s veryyyyyyy chipper this morning. lol it’s a little strange for me to see sobti SOOOOOO smiley and happy.

aw he’s talking about the kids so fondly. does he have a little baby fever himself?

sonali’s tryyyyyyying to breach the topic about how addu’s “different” and might not just want to settle for an arranged marriage.

ugh samar, that was a sexist thing to say. and just when i was beginning to like you so much.

A+ to sonali for calling him out on it and shutting him down. i don’t know if i want to be her or if i’m just in love with her.

aw mridul is dancing to radha teri chunari. and all the ladies (geeta, premlata, the baai whose name i still don’t know) are lovingggggggg it. as am i. toooo cute for words.

ofc vikram shuts it down. ugh.

great. some realllllllllllll toxic masculinity being thopofied on that poor tiny baby. he looks 5 or 6, at most? ugh, honestly, men are the fucking worst.

is the baai purposely interrupting repeatedly in order to diffuse the argument and protect geeta?

wow, he has all these opinions on which song mridul should dance, but he hasn’t learnt sign language to communicate with him. seriously fuck you vikram.

i’d assumed that geeta was a long-suffering silent type, but i’m very glad she’s not.

this child is truly adorableeeeeee.

wow, even samar known sign language. (even though he said he’s meeting mridul for the first time???)

this just goes to show that vikram’s an exceptionally shit dad.

ugh. too much cute.

aw, what mridul signed to samar was that he really likes sonali’s laugh and was practicing laughing like her. pls excuse me, i’m sobbing.

also yes, sonali deserves this much love and adoration, if not more.

oh samar learnt sign language while in the army. 

now even sonali is attempting to communicate with him with sign language. not very well, but she’s trying!

well-meaning but kinda insensitively framed questions about mridul’s muteness from sonali. i think geeta’s a little hurt.

also she seems a little envious of how loving samar and sonali’s relationship is. sigh.

aaaaaaaand everyone’s off for the night’s festivities. in shaky sharon.

but i notice premlata is missing. just like she was for last night’s event. why?

sonali is me. only priority and incentive to get out of the house is khaana.

what was that slight moment between sonali and geeta at the song (babuji zara dheere chalo)? felt like an inside joke but.....????

even vikram wants to know. but we don’t find out.

ouff again assi vele? ek hi gaana kitni baar???? there are other party jams you know?????

nandu’s dad (pappu) is realllllly smitten with sonali. almost slightly inappropriately so?

i find almost all men inappropriate and suspicious these days, so it could be just me. sonali seems fine with it.

meanwhile addu’s on the hunt for nandu. oh girl, no.

vikram’s sharing army waale stories with some junior. ugh idc about you man. gimme more samar/sonali/addu.

vikram didn’t appreciate his “can you believe men these days get mani/pedis?????” bs interrupted by geeta.

and samar and sonali.

sonali notices geeta’s hand lingering on hot junior’s arm a little toooo long while she’s making introductions. oh boy. sonali maybe you should STOP noticing so much. just for your own sake.

no but geeta really does seem to have some kinda special equation with hunky junior.

vikram why the fuck are you so bitter about samar’s profession? honestly.

samar’s good-naturedly asking him to maybe come visit him sometime at his restaurant, but there’s a real bite to the way he’s saying it.

aaaaaaaand addu’s throwing back drinks. oh honey.

sigh.

ugh some gossipy aunty is asking geeta if she thinks nandu and her fiance have already “done it” coz look at her “glow”. WHY ARE YOU OLDS SO GROSS??????/ JFC.

aaaaand she’s now sharing about how her husband made her “glow” only twice this year. and once was on rakshabandhan. which is creepy as hell. you need to stop talking NOW, aunty.

ugh anyone with seeing eyes can see that vikram cannot get his head out of his ass and look beyond himself, i hardly think he’s making geeta “glow”.

okay so vikram and nandu’s dad just seem to be best friends. so phew, thank god, addu isn’t RELATED to nandu.

two (?) drinks in, addu’s here in nandu’s room and staring at her plaintively as she gets ready. oh baby girl.

nandu’s pretending like nothing’s happened. and asking for help tucking in a mic below her lehenga. oh nandu. why??? you know how she feels about you.

oh great. she’s found a hickey on nandu. ohhhhhhh boy.

aaaaaaaand they’re fighting.

fuck. don’t tell me is beech mein the mic gets turned on and broadcasts to the whole crowd outside.

mridul’s here to dance to radha (in a cuteass little anarkali type outfit) and vikram isn’t happy. but thankfully keeps mum other than a brief disapproving glance at geeta.

ohhhhhhh boy. the dj is fucking with the console and the mic is nowwwwww on. FUCK. DUMBASS DJ.

SKDJFHDSKJFHKDSJFHKDSJFHKDSJFHDKSJ GIRLS PLS NO AAAAAAAAAH I’M DYING OF MICHMICHI

FUCKING DJ CAN YOU FUCKING GO BACK TO PLAYING RADHAAAAAAA WHY IS THIS STILL ON????????

AND THE WHOLE CROWD IS JUST LISTENING INTENTLY INSTEAD OF TURNING IT OFF BY GOD KYA BESHARAM LOG HAIN.

addu’s saying everyone knows about them, including nandu’s dad. is that why vikram arranged nandu’s wedding?

aaaaand nandu just broke it all off calling it “a phase”. sigh. poor addu.

oh boy. nandu’s walking downstairs smiling resplendently. oh girl. kisne kaha tha mic itni jaldi lagaane ko??

lmao samar’s face. (is he flashing back to what sonali was trying to say in the car this morning and joining the dots?)

aaaaaaand both the girls know that everyone knows.

[loveshalifeworld]

Copy of Why Do Women Hate Women...SO MUCH?

So I did a little research before writing this Blog. I watched a little Oprah, a little Iyala fix my life, little Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, ya know, the essentials 🤷🏽‍♀️ I can think of a million examples to start with from my personal experiences, friend's experiences, reality TV etc etc, but I'm going to use Cardi B as an example (just bare with me)

I am a super Cardi B fan! Boom, there, I said it. Not because of Bodak yellow, but because she has worked hard to get where she is right now, she just wants to help her family, she is honest about her life and who she is, and she is SO HUMBLE. This woman is still a super fan of every artist she was a fan of before she got her big break, and she is so appreciative of the people who support her music. She is just such a sweet girl, and it makes me proud to see her doing well! SO,  Nicki Minaj had kind of thrown some shade at her by liking a negative comment a "Fan" wrote on a Cardi's IG, and then posting a negative tweet clearly aimed at the new rapper mentioning her boyfriend. Cardi was CRUSHED because she said she couldn't understand why someone she admires so much would go out of the way to tear her down.

Why do we do that to each other? After my very intense research, I think I've got a few ideas:

Social conditioning: we are conditioned as young girls that we have to be better than the person sitting in front of us and behind us. From sports, to clothes, grades, how many friends you have, who you sit with at a lunch table, how to impress a guy more than the girl next to you. It's all been programmed in our minds. The competition (and no I'm not talking about friendly competition, because that is always healthy) is engrained so deeply in us, that we often feel the need to compete in areas where a competition should not even exist.  STORY TIME 🤗🤗 When I was in 7th grade I chopped my hair off because every girl in the 7th grade except maybe two at my new school HATED me because I "thought my hair was cute" (said the ring leader of the group) and because some guy had a crush on me that apparently was the hot guy of middle school. (Fun fact, I didn't start liking boys until summer of my 8th grade year, so their hate was ill directed.)  I'm sure you all are wondering why I remember that alllll these years later. Well I remember it because there was an entire grade of girls who hated me lol I was new and out of the ordinary, those girls were conditioned to hate me and to try to annihilate me, you never forget an annihilation attempt! There was a girl who actually came to me at lunch one day and said "I like you, you seem really nice! but everybody else hates you soooooo yep." She apologized to me as stuck a huge piece of gum in my hair as all the kids at the other tables laughed. I was so confused and I cried lol  I went home and cut my hair, told my mom I accidentally cut it.  After a while of course, the girls realized I did not wish to threaten the social balance and they backed off...for the most part. I later ended up dating the guy most of high school and became amazing friends/frienemies with those girls. I now understand that they had no choice but to hate me. Though I understand it, I don't want to raise my future daughter to treat people that way. I want to condition her mind in a way that she knows, there is room for all of us here to be great.   NOW THAT IM DONE CRYING ABOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL.... a more up to date scenario                                                                                                                                                                                             When I say unnecessary competition, this is what I'm talking about. Say we are in the gym, I don't know you, you don't know me right? I put my treadmill speed at 6.0 you bump yours up to 6.1, midway through I bump mine to 6.8 (because the app that I'm using tells me to,) you bump your up to 6.9 just to stay ahead of me, but now your halfway dead because you're trying to compete with me on something I've BEEN training at. I stop my treadmill to move on to something else and you're thinking "YES! I knew I could beat her 💁🏽" just before you fall off and pass out and get rushed to the hospital. Where as while you're dying, I'm not even aware of the fact that you exist, I'm just happy I was able to finish my run today for once, AND if you had asked me how did I train to to comfortable run for a certain distance, I would have been more than happy to tell you everything I know to help you out!! We are conditioned to feel as if we are in constant competition with each other.  This usually happens in cases of an oppressed people. You get that mentality where "I've gotta look better and have a better body or I won't find a husband.""I've gotta be better,  I've gotta get their first, or there won't be anymore left for me." "If someone Is better than you in anyway, you'll never make it out." That my loves, is the mindset of an oppressed people, and yes, women are an oppressed people. It's not your fault, we are literally trained to be better than each other by any means necessary. It's like Lord of the Flies up in girl world! (If you've never read Lord of the Flies, you HAVE to! That's a good book! It's about these boys who get stranded on an island and...well thats not important here I guess, but still go read it)

External Validation-  Validation (n)- recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. We have a constant need to be validated by the outside world, some women more than others, but we all need to be validated in some way.  In the movie mean girls Cady (Lindsay Lohan) started off pretending to be a mean girl, but as time went on, she actually became a really mean person because her thirst for validation continued to grow. Her need to be known as the prettiest girl in school, her need to be popular, her need to have the best clothes, her need to have the best hair; all of this because she wanted to feel validated by the outside world. She did't care about who she hurt or made fun or walked over, because her need for validation caused her to not care about being mean to anyone. She was perfectly fine and interesting on her own, but because she developed that need to be accepted and validated, it changed her. We need to hear "omg you're so much prettier than her" "omg your hair is way cuter than hers". MY (insert whatever) has to be BETTER than YOUR (insert whatever) or my dopeness is not VALID. NO SIS you're dope, I'm dope, we are all dope. Thats all the validation you need.

Success- I'm going to break success down in a few different areas

You know the saying "misery loves company"? You know how you will be having a great, lively conversation with one of your friends, and then you spring some good news on her and it gets reaaaallll quiet and dry on the other end of the phone? Women do not like when other women are happy. Whether its a happy relationships, happy at work, or just happy to be alive. Your friend tells you OMG I'm so excited, I just bought these new shoes and they were on sale. She is clearly excited, but secretly you're angry because you wanted those shoes and couldn't afford them that day, so you tell her the shoe s are ugly and make her feet look big, out of "love" of course. Or you have a friend that gets into a new relationship and is very happy, you blow up on her for talking about her new boyfriend, telling her that you're sick of hearing about him (after she has only mentioned him once), all because you're upset that you aren't getting a "text back".  You should want to see your friends happy. Whatever another woman is happy about, just let her be happy, and try to indulge a little bit in her happiness. Sometimes you just honestly, do not want to hear it, girl, I get it; that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about if the only time you are enjoying a conversation, is if your friend is on the phone crying her eyes out about how her guy mistreated her or dishing about her awful day at work...that is what I'm talking about. I know people like that who are just eager to hear bad news about my life, soooo I don't tell them lol but if it excites you to learn about the low points in people's lives or to see another woman not doing so well, you really should take a look at yourself love. You need to ask yourself why the idea of another woman being happy makes you feel like the wicked witch being melted by rain on the inside.

Women hate to see another woman having a more successful career/business than her. You want to see your friends do well, but not better than you. In the field that I work in, there aren't always a lot of women around! So when I see another woman I'm happy like hey girl hey, lets be better than all these guys together lol It's not always like that, it's every woman for herself 🤷🏽‍♀️ Oh well.  Ya know, I recently met a young woman who is pretty awesome! We clicked immediately, like we both just KNEW ok, this is my soul sister. We chatted as she was doing my hair and the conversation flowed onto the topic of our dreams and we both had a similar idea! In most situations thats a no go, that conversation would have stopped right there because I don't want you to take my ideas and run off and be better than me. We should have been looking at each other side eyed lolGuys, we both got so excited when we realized we had the same idea and ended it with "SIS we need to get on this together, lets set up a meeting and lets collab" !!  You should WANT to see another woman doing well in a career, and if I can help you, or we can work together yesss lets do it. Women should Support women!

Women don't like women who they think are prettier or have a better body than them🤦🏽‍♀️🤔 I'm not even going to get into this one  because it's self explanatory. This is a terrible reason to hate someone... you hate me because you think I'm pretty or my butt is small and round, and I hate you because you're pretty and your'e butt is big and round. Soooo we are all out here admiring each other and instead of complementing...ugh I digress. ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

A QUICK RUNDOWN OF other miscellaneous reasons women hate other women

Women don't like women because of hair,

their shoes 

dressing too "slutty"

dressing too conservative

smiling too much,

having resting b*tch face

having a nice car

perfect makeup

waving

not waving

laughing too loud

she must have gotten a nose job

you stole my boyfriend in 3rd grade

I mean.....you guys get the point by now

I think that It all boils down to INSECURITY. We alllll have little insecurities, but just because I am unsure of myself in an area does not mean that I need to make myself feel better by tearing another woman down. Just because I feel there is an opportunity for another woman to be "better" than me in an area does not mean I should tear her down, talk about her, or discourage her, it just means that I need to make sure I continue to be MY BEST SELF. 

Guys, we desperately need to stop comparing ourselves to each other, that alone eliminates a majority of the issue. There is no comparison to YOU. Stop comparing your love life and your body and your hair. There will always be a woman who has a flatter stomach than you or a better butt or longer hair or a taller boyfriend. We have to be able to recognize the beauty in other women while still appreciating and admiring our own undeniable beauty. I guarantee you while you are looking at her wishing you had something she has, she is looking at you wishing she could have something you have. know why?? Because Every woman is a piece of art work carefully crafted by God. There is so much power and beauty in being a woman, and the world already tries to ta take that power from us, we definitely should not do it to each other.  Empowered women, empower women!! So, take your power back, by loving yourself. There is sooooooo much more that can go into this post, because there is some serious healing that has to go on in the girl's club ya'll, but I'm going to run out of characters lol. For now we have to stop being so nasty to each other! When you run into a woman wearing acute dress or a nice pair of earrings, just compliment her. Just walk up to her like "hey girl! your dress is the cutest thing I've ever seen." If you're going to compliment, might as well SUPER compliment.I do it all the time, like omg girl the way you slayed that ponytail is AMAZINNGGGG haha. Spread some love!Let me know how it goes! I hope you all enjoyed this one! Feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

PS: Don't forget to give yourself a compliment too 🌻

[loveshalifeworld]

Why Do Women Hate Women...SO MUCH?

So I did a little research before writing this Blog. I watched a little Oprah, a little Iyala fix my life, little Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, ya know, the essentials 🤷🏽‍♀️ I can think of a million examples to start with from my personal experiences, friend's experiences, reality TV etc etc, but I'm going to use Cardi B as an example (just bare with me)

I am a super Cardi B fan! Boom, there, I said it. Not because of Bodak yellow, but because she has worked hard to get where she is right now, she just wants to help her family, she is honest about her life and who she is, and she is SO HUMBLE. This woman is still a super fan of every artist she was a fan of before she got her big break, and she is so appreciative of the people who support her music. She is just such a sweet girl, and it makes me proud to see her doing well! SO,  Nicki Minaj had kind of thrown some shade at her by liking a negative comment a "Fan" wrote on a Cardi's IG, and then posting a negative tweet clearly aimed at the new rapper mentioning her boyfriend. Cardi was CRUSHED because she said she couldn't understand why someone she admires so much would go out of the way to tear her down.

Why do we do that to each other? After my very intense research, I think I've got a few ideas:

Social conditioning: we are conditioned as young girls that we have to be better than the person sitting in front of us and behind us. From sports, to clothes, grades, how many friends you have, who you sit with at a lunch table, how to impress a guy more than the girl next to you. It's all been programmed in our minds. The competition (and no I'm not talking about friendly competition, because that is always healthy) is engrained so deeply in us, that we often feel the need to compete in areas where a competition should not even exist.  STORY TIME 🤗🤗 When I was in 7th grade I chopped my hair off because every girl in the 7th grade except maybe two at my new school HATED me because I "thought my hair was cute" (said the ring leader of the group) and because some guy had a crush on me that apparently was the hot guy of middle school. (Fun fact, I didn't start liking boys until summer of my 8th grade year, so their hate was ill directed.)  I'm sure you all are wondering why I remember that alllll these years later. Well I remember it because there was an entire grade of girls who hated me lol I was new and out of the ordinary, those girls were conditioned to hate me and to try to annihilate me, you never forget an annihilation attempt! There was a girl who actually came to me at lunch one day and said "I like you, you seem really nice! but everybody else hates you soooooo yep." She apologized to me as stuck a huge piece of gum in my hair as all the kids at the other tables laughed. I was so confused and I cried lol  I went home and cut my hair, told my mom I accidentally cut it.  After a while of course, the girls realized I did not wish to threaten the social balance and they backed off...for the most part. I later ended up dating the guy most of high school and became amazing friends/frienemies with those girls. I now understand that they had no choice but to hate me. Though I understand it, I don't want to raise my future daughter to treat people that way. I want to condition her mind in a way that she knows, there is room for all of us here to be great.   NOW THAT IM DONE CRYING ABOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL.... a more up to date scenario                                                                                                                                                                                             When I say unnecessary competition, this is what I'm talking about. Say we are in the gym, I don't know you, you don't know me right? I put my treadmill speed at 6.0 you bump yours up to 6.1, midway through I bump mine to 6.8 (because the app that I'm using tells me to,) you bump your up to 6.9 just to stay ahead of me, but now your halfway dead because you're trying to compete with me on something I've BEEN training at. I stop my treadmill to move on to something else and you're thinking "YES! I knew I could beat her 💁🏽" just before you fall off and pass out and get rushed to the hospital. Where as while you're dying, I'm not even aware of the fact that you exist, I'm just happy I was able to finish my run today for once, AND if you had asked me how did I train to to comfortable run for a certain distance, I would have been more than happy to tell you everything I know to help you out!! We are conditioned to feel as if we are in constant competition with each other.  This usually happens in cases of an oppressed people. You get that mentality where "I've gotta look better and have a better body or I won't find a husband.""I've gotta be better,  I've gotta get their first, or there won't be anymore left for me." "If someone Is better than you in anyway, you'll never make it out." That my loves, is the mindset of an oppressed people, and yes, women are an oppressed people. It's not your fault, we are literally trained to be better than each other by any means necessary. It's like Lord of the Flies up in girl world! (If you've never read Lord of the Flies, you HAVE to! That's a good book! It's about these boys who get stranded on an island and...well thats not important here I guess, but still go read it)

External Validation-  Validation (n)- recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. We have a constant need to be validated by the outside world, some women more than others, but we all need to be validated in some way.  In the movie mean girls Cady (Lindsay Lohan) started off pretending to be a mean girl, but as time went on, she actually became a really mean person because her thirst for validation continued to grow. Her need to be known as the prettiest girl in school, her need to be popular, her need to have the best clothes, her need to have the best hair; all of this because she wanted to feel validated by the outside world. She did't care about who she hurt or made fun or walked over, because her need for validation caused her to not care about being mean to anyone. She was perfectly fine and interesting on her own, but because she developed that need to be accepted and validated, it changed her. We need to hear "omg you're so much prettier than her" "omg your hair is way cuter than hers". MY (insert whatever) has to be BETTER than YOUR (insert whatever) or my dopeness is not VALID. NO SIS you're dope, I'm dope, we are all dope. Thats all the validation you need.

Success- I'm going to break success down in a few different areas

You know the saying "misery loves company"? You know how you will be having a great, lively conversation with one of your friends, and then you spring some good news on her and it gets reaaaallll quiet and dry on the other end of the phone? Women do not like when other women are happy. Whether its a happy relationships, happy at work, or just happy to be alive. Your friend tells you OMG I'm so excited, I just bought these new shoes and they were on sale. She is clearly excited, but secretly you're angry because you wanted those shoes and couldn't afford them that day, so you tell her the shoe s are ugly and make her feet look big, out of "love" of course. Or you have a friend that gets into a new relationship and is very happy, you blow up on her for talking about her new boyfriend, telling her that you're sick of hearing about him (after she has only mentioned him once), all because you're upset that you aren't getting a "text back".  You should want to see your friends happy. Whatever another woman is happy about, just let her be happy, and try to indulge a little bit in her happiness. Sometimes you just honestly, do not want to hear it, girl, I get it; that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about if the only time you are enjoying a conversation, is if your friend is on the phone crying her eyes out about how her guy mistreated her or dishing about her awful day at work...that is what I'm talking about. I know people like that who are just eager to hear bad news about my life, soooo I don't tell them lol but if it excites you to learn about the low points in people's lives or to see another woman not doing so well, you really should take a look at yourself love. You need to ask yourself why the idea of another woman being happy makes you feel like the wicked witch being melted by rain on the inside.

Women hate to see another woman having a more successful career/business than her. You want to see your friends do well, but not better than you. In the field that I work in, there aren't always a lot of women around! So when I see another woman I'm happy like hey girl hey, lets be better than all these guys together lol It's not always like that, it's every woman for herself 🤷🏽‍♀️ Oh well.  Ya know, I recently met a young woman who is pretty awesome! We clicked immediately, like we both just KNEW ok, this is my soul sister. We chatted as she was doing my hair and the conversation flowed onto the topic of our dreams and we both had a similar idea! In most situations thats a no go, that conversation would have stopped right there because I don't want you to take my ideas and run off and be better than me. We should have been looking at each other side eyed lolGuys, we both got so excited when we realized we had the same idea and ended it with "SIS we need to get on this together, lets set up a meeting and lets collab" !!  You should WANT to see another woman doing well in a career, and if I can help you, or we can work together yesss lets do it. Women should Support women!

Women don't like women who they think are prettier or have a better body than them🤦🏽‍♀️🤔 I'm not even going to get into this one  because it's self explanatory. This is a terrible reason to hate someone... you hate me because you think I'm pretty or my butt is small and round, and I hate you because you're pretty and your'e butt is big and round. Soooo we are all out here admiring each other and instead of complementing...ugh I digress. ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

A QUICK RUNDOWN OF other miscellaneous reasons women hate other women

Women don't like women because of hair,

their shoes 

dressing too "slutty"

dressing too conservative

smiling too much,

having resting b*tch face

having a nice car

perfect makeup

waving

not waving

laughing too loud

she must have gotten a nose job

you stole my boyfriend in 3rd grade

I mean.....you guys get the point by now

I think that It all boils down to INSECURITY. We alllll have little insecurities, but just because I am unsure of myself in an area does not mean that I need to make myself feel better by tearing another woman down. Just because I feel there is an opportunity for another woman to be "better" than me in an area does not mean I should tear her down, talk about her, or discourage her, it just means that I need to make sure I continue to be MY BEST SELF. 

Guys, we desperately need to stop comparing ourselves to each other, that alone eliminates a majority of the issue. There is no comparison to YOU. Stop comparing your love life and your body and your hair. There will always be a woman who has a flatter stomach than you or a better butt or longer hair or a taller boyfriend. We have to be able to recognize the beauty in other women while still appreciating and admiring our own undeniable beauty. I guarantee you while you are looking at her wishing you had something she has, she is looking at you wishing she could have something you have. know why?? Because Every woman is a piece of art work carefully crafted by God. There is so much power and beauty in being a woman, and the world already tries to ta take that power from us, we definitely should not do it to each other.  Empowered women, empower women!! So, take your power back, by loving yourself. There is sooooooo much more that can go into this post, because there is some serious healing that has to go on in the girl's club ya'll, but I'm going to run out of characters lol. For now we have to stop being so nasty to each other! When you run into a woman wearing acute dress or a nice pair of earrings, just compliment her. Just walk up to her like "hey girl! your dress is the cutest thing I've ever seen." If you're going to compliment, might as well SUPER compliment.I do it all the time, like omg girl the way you slayed that ponytail is AMAZINNGGGG haha. Spread some love!Let me know how it goes! I hope you all enjoyed this one! Feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

PS: Don't forget to give yourself a compliment too 🌻