#the ghost that broke my heart [CRADLESONGCOMFORT/HEL]

[sinnhelmingr]

actually no you know what hel met outsider when she was just a tiny weird kid and she had no context to be scared of him. one of his faithful just handed her a rune directed her to a shrine and was under the impression that the watery beast she sought (jori) was the leviathan (outsider.) instead hel just walks into his domain like :0 at the whales and eventually ran into him like ‘you’re not my brother!’ and outsider is like ‘correct how the fuck did you get in?’

and she just decided to be his dear annoyance for the rest of her childhood until she was stupid and caught feelings once she was grown. she has never been scared of this entity a day in her life. humans talk about how terrifying and esoteric he is and she just ‘ah yes, him, the man that handed me a raw squid once when i complained of being hungry, that beautiful and all-seeing yet oh so contextless fool.’

[sinnhelmingr]

regarding that last post: hel wishes. hel wishes the terrors of the deep found her attractive. this idiot pined for multiple millennia for the terror of the deep, the embodiment of depths and void, and his literally incapable of reciprocating ass just said ‘fascinating’ and went back to observing humanity from on high and meddling like a chthonic trickster. if they were anything during that span it was friends with fringe benefits. the benefits were sometimes that twink was curious about intimacy and hel volunteered as tribute knowing he wouldn’t feel anything even as he was driving her wild.

fucker wasn’t actually attracted to her carnally until he got nerfed back into humanity. the terror of the deep (professionally diagnosed) was never attracted to her.

[sinnhelmingr]

💔 = Has your muse ever been heartbroken? If so, explain what happened.// @blxiddiau​

Of course. There have been more obvious causes of heartbreak -- Hel has outlived a fair few romantic partners, namely Johanna in her mainverse, and in specific AUs she has a terrible habit of falling for men that were never going to survive their narratives. However, these were relationships where she typically understood the risks and that her partner might not always be there.  Her heart was broken, but at least it was still working, yeah?

I think the instances that break her heart the most are the ones where love is not enough. Where she can love someone and their choices or their role is the catalyst for failure.

This is most prominently seen in her ship with Axem’s Gwyndol*n or Ran’s Outsider. Lin makes choices that so disgust Hel that she has to choose between her millennia-old marriage and her sense of right and wrong, and her morals win out over whatever Lin has become in pursuit of the flame. The Outsider had no choice, but in fixing the world, he was torn from her hands and returned to his ancient, eldritch form -- a situation that also robbed him of his capacity to love. In both cases, she loved her partner with everything she was, and still lost them to machinations that she could not put an end to.

Both of them, in their respective verses, left quite a mark. Hel never had another love after Lin, even as their affection turned to a bitter rivalry. She did eventually learn to love after the Outsider, but it took over two centuries for her to even entertain the thought of another partner.

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

Jori, being polite: So, what's your name, The Outsider? The Outsider: I do not have one. Narvi: Everyone has a name. The Outsider: My name is my mark. Fen, an intellectual: So your name is Mark.

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

'they asked me. about who i was. if i ever wanted it back.' 'darkling, if i thought returning to the void would make you happy, i would slit your throat myself to make it so.'

(they never learned to love quite right. this is what becomes of children sacrificed to the darkness. it is meant as reassurance, as support, but his mouth runs arid as a desert against the hollow between her collarbones. she shifts just so in their bed, long limbs akimbo about him. her mouth finds his, and she waters him, tongue wetting along dry teeth, dancing around the urge to scoop out the lump that now gathers in his throat.)

[sinnhelmingr]

thinks about hel, when faced with an omniscient being that will actually communicate with her, first asking if there’s a world where she and her siblings ever stood a chance, where they were happy and safe rather than isolated and scared. and her companion, in all his knowing, tells her no, there was never hope for them. 

and then the clear outline of her character in that rather than mourn it, she thanks him for being honest with her, and hopes instead that there’s a world where he received some mercy rather than the cruelty that made him into the kind of creature that has brief glimpses of all time and realities.

helsider is about to make me act up.

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

[outsider voice] my wife is a bitch and i like her so much.

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

rad goth kids for @hookisms

[sinnhelmingrmoved]

shipping tag dump.