#the funniest part about her is that the 'bra' is actually a crop top

[moonfurthetemmie]

it happened

[szopenhauer]

what is the weather going to be like where you live tomorrow? who knows, forecast is lying

who lives in your house and what are they doing right now? my parents, dunno, they just finished eating

does your best friend live near you? my dad lives with me

what is the last place you kissed someone, if ever? her apartment

how do you like to express yourself? in every possible way?

whose birthday is coming up? my sister’s 

what do your favorite pair of shoes look like? can’t choose only one pair

what city do you live in? what’s the population? I’m not sharing that

what time are you going to sleep tonight? we’ll see

who is the last person you hugged for a long time? parent

what are your top five favorite cities? that I visited or would like to?

how did your parents pick your name? my mom liked it 

do you want to move out? yes

how long would it take you to walk to the house of the last person you kissed? walk? :o omg...

what did you last have a conversation with one of your siblings about? what happened on Wednesday

other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish facebook had? hmm...

which part of your day was best: morning, afternoon, or night? I hope night will be good

what’s something you would do drunk but never do sober? I’ve never been drunk so no idea

what is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘k’? both are annoying but constant ok or XD are basically K.O. of the conversation

have you ever had a night that’s been hands down the best night of your life? if so, describe what happened? can I count dreams tho?

what time do your parents normally get home from work? mom’s retired and my dad either 8 am or 8 pm

what is a word, if any, that you always have trouble spelling? cześć and similar with ść like iść myć and sometimes also words with l and r inside like galeria as I switch those and there’s garelia instead

what was the last awkward moment you experienced? my whole life is awkward

last thing that really hurt you? physically or emotionally/mentally?

are you ever afraid to be yourself? if I can get beated or even killed for that

did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug

how many people have told you they were in love with you? ugh...

is any part of you sad at all? always

would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone? my gf obviously

honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you? maybe

are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? yeah

do you still talk to the last person you kissed? even now

do you have a bad temper? I guess

do you believe that there’s good in everybody? who cares if there’s more bad/evil in them

are you the funniest of all your friends? don’t wanna brag but... 

have you ever gone to work with a hangover? never been hungover

what pisses you off the most? shitload of stuff

are you emotional? might be

what’s something you wish you could go shopping for right now? if I had my own apartment...

have you done anything illegal in the last three days? no do you ever get shy around the boy/girl you like? sorta

have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: luckily not, that’s awful, don’t do that

what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: never, kid or adult, those movies shouldn’t exist in the first place

do you know what the word “polyamorous” means?  I know

how many bug bites do you currently have?: about 10, first time in my life I’ve been bitten so hard and yet ppl dare to say there are no mosquitos this summer

do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: we don’t, my mom used to have bamboo one inside but somehow it’s gone now

do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: wow :o

which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Opera but Firefox if I had to choose between those two craps

do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: it ain’t flat but I still wear crop tops when I’m in the mood for that

with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?:  I don’t care 

would you date someone who was five years older than you?:  I don’t think so

if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: none

would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: hell no

do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: not wireless

do you think your biological parents love each other?: what even is love...

would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: small apartment is enough, I don’t have to clean whole mansion haha or pay for all the electricity and such

if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: not possible as only I use it

what’s the name of the street you live on?: that’s personal

how often do you use “<3”?: rarely

how do you feel about abortion?: it’s complicated, I don’t want to talk about it

what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: ...

did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: it’s because old person had time to live and it’s normal they’re going to die soon on smth anyway, kids and teens or even young adults should have an equal chance in life 

how often do you wash your hair?: recently basically everyday

do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: I agree have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: nope

what’s your favorite musical?: Cats is the only one I like, I hate musicals

Have you ever watched a beaver build a damn before? not irl, just documentary/online

How often do you get spam in your email? all the damn time, 99% of emails are spam and it makes me mad

Do you use “shall” or “should” more often in speech? should only

Do you know anyone who can read Braille? I learned but forgot already

Do you ever wish that you had a tail? kinda

Do you prefer garden snails or water snails? all of them snails :)

Do you pay attention to detail? often

Would you wear a veil at your wedding, if you were to get married? I prefer capes or trains for that matter but veils aren’t a bad idea either

Are you a male or a female? I’m a cis female

Do you like fairytales? not a fan 

What is your favorite type of whale? I think they’re pretty cool in general, don’t know enough about types

Do you prefer paper bags and plastic bags when you go to the grocery store? Or perhaps those reusable ones? depends

Do you like your country’s flag? it’s... boring

Do you like things that have a zigzag pattern on them? sweaters

Has the airbag ever gone off in the car before, with you in it? no

When’s the last time you used a dishrag? today

What does your favorite bag look like? can’t decide

list two facts about your last kiss. it was with a woman that I’m dating in her apartment - ok that’s three facts lol

what was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning? my skin is awful

have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? nah

have you ever kissed in a pool? I haven’t

have you ever lied to protect someone’s feelings? yep

how did you meet the last person you kissed? mutual friend in high school, we went to the crappy concert together

whats something that really grosses you out? plenty of stuff that I don’t want to even think about 

what is the oldest person you would date right now? my age is old enough 

do you use your middle finger often? I suppose

how many people have you kissed in your entire life? one

how many hours has it been since you woke up? at first I woke up at 6 am then half past 10 am and now it’s 3 pm

are you listening to anything? not currently

has anyone ever sprayed you fully clothed with a hose? I don’t recall but would be pissed

do you own an umbrella? I borrow my parents’ umbrella when I have to because I hate umbrellas

what do you have in your pockets right now? no pockets!

how many keys are on your key chain? just one

what do they go to? my house 

are you wearing a shirt that has a sports team logo on it? ewww, no way

have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? my mom doesn’t like the fact I’m into girls so... how old is the last person you kissed? 28 

how old were you in 1995? 3

how old will you be in 2027? 35

what brand of shampoo do you use? Family splash

who was the last person to give you money? family member

have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? that was weird

when was the last time you went to the ocean? saw the sea once, not ocean

do you know how to give cpr? not best

have you ever taken a pregnancy test? what for?

have someone seen you naked in the last month? yup

what kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? had to get vaccine against tetanus after I was bitten by the dog this Wednesday

are you jewish? am not

have you ever wished your eyes were a different color? it’s not that important

how many times does “n” occur in your full name? twice

what are you initials? Z.C.

what is something that always makes you feel pretty? *rolling my eyes*

how many songs are on your mp3/ipod? I don’t remember, I didn’t use it in a long time

have you ever flashed someone accidentally? in elementary I had no boobs so I didn’t wear a bra and there was PE and I was teaching my classmate how to do a carthwheel and I flashed a certain boy who was bullying me later in life (middle school), he said - You’re wild

do you ever crack your knuckles/back/ankles/wrists/etc?: I despise ppl who do that, stop!

if you walk by a mirror, do you look at yourself in it?: try not to

what would you do if a stranger came up to you and said you are the most attractive person they had ever seen?: think it’s a prank 

have you ever shared a blanket with someone?: sure

what is more important, happiness or trust?: happiness includes trust

do you ever think “what if” about anything?: overthinking for life

do you care too much/not at all/just enough?: all at once lmfao

are you a morning person or a night person?: night but I’m barely a person

what would you do if you opened up your front door and your doorstep was full of surprises?: what kind of surprises?

if you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept?: thx but no

do you have a good relationship with your mother?: not as much as I’d like to

the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?: 3 - on a cam/video chat, publicly and on her bed

are your nails painted?: they’re not painted

are you someone who worries too often? 24/7

do you like thunderstorms?: I like how lightning looks like and the sound of thunder but weather makes me feel ill so...

would you like to see a tornado at some point in your life?: if it didn’t kill me

could you stay in the same relationship for over a year?: I assume

who has seen you at your “worst?“: family and partner

will you kiss the last person you kissed again?: we plan to

if you could have one super power what would it be?: healing - myself and others

what’s your opinion on people wearing high heels to school?: dumb

do you listen to any music that doesn’t have lyrics?: can but don’t do that usually

do you stutter when you get nervous?: nah

do you attend church regularly?: I listen to the mass every Sunday

what is your favorite superhero movie?: can’t choose only one

do you watch gossip girl?: no

what do you get whenever you go school shopping?: I’m done with school however, back when I did do school shopping, it was about notebooks mostly

what is your #4’s dog’s name?: I didn’t have so many 

do you consider yourself responsible?: depends

are you tired?: yesss

do you think that aliens exist? it’s possible

what do you doodle most often?: *shrug*

if you went to jail, what would you go for?: smth I didn’t do, I would be framed

are there any bruises on your body right now?: weird but not even after that unlucky Wednesday, my skin isn’t bruising easily

if you died next week, what would be the cause of death?: heart attack, allergy, accident etc

what do you think about dating websites?: didn’t help but OKC have fun questions :P

what is your favorite thing to get at starbucks?: I don’t go there

what about at mcdonalds?: french fries

do you wear contacts or glasses?: if I had to I’d choose glasses

how many clocks are in your room?: just cellphone and computer 

how many fridges are in your house?: ... 1

what is the best way to tell someone that they stink?: too ashamed to point that out :x

what time will you go to bed tonight?: 11 pm but probs will fall asleep before 2 am as usual

How do you feel right this moment?: not good

What does the last person you kissed name start with?: M.

How many people have you kissed in the last 5 months?: no one else

When did you last have sex?: recently

State the lyrics stuck in your head at the moment.: I'm hard on the outside but if you see inside, inside, inside 

What do you currently hear?: not a single thing and happy about it

What would you do if your doctor told you, you were pregnant?: they’re mistaken as it’s not possible

If you’re dating someone how long have you been together?: about 2 months

What’s the longest relationship you have ever been in?: dunno if I can count that as relationship 

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?: used to know

Are your parents strict?: they’re weird

What grade are you in?: graduated 

Have you ever kissed in the rain?: wouldn’t want to, I imagine it being uncomfy

When was the last time you seen your mom?: she just opened my room’s door without knocking to ask me for another favor

Do you and her get along good?: won’t say so

Have you ever stole anything?: not really

What’s the last thing you heated up in the microwave? I don’t use a microwave, I heard they’re bad for your health

Have you ever felt like a slave before? kind of

How often do you shave? What do you shave? not your business

Whose grave did you last visit? been to the funeral but besides that my brother’s

Describe a time when you felt brave. nie czuję si�� odważna tylko dzielna tak jak nie jestem cierpliwa lecz mam silną wolę

Have you ever participated in “the wave”? if I’m thinking what you’re thinking

Have you ever accidentally waved at the wrong person before? worse

Oh no! Your house is on fire! What’s the first thing that you try to save? important documents, pendrives, photo albums, my fav stuffed animal (but most importantly myself and my fam)

Do you remember to save your documents? I’m paranoid about it

Are you the person who paves/smooths things over in an argument, or do you just add more fuel to the fire? I must confess I quite often add fuel but not every single time

How many pets do you have? just my doggo

[cumingbackformore-blog]

“Should I go put my baseball pants on?” the totally true story of how I lost my virginity to a gorgeous baseball player.

“Should I message him?” I asked as myself and my two friends M and L sat on the rocky shore watching the sunset. It was a Monday night, and we had no where to be. We were simply enjoying ourselves and the cotton candy sky, trying to pretend that the lingering stench of fish wasn’t there. With no idea of what time it was, or any hope that he’d actually respond I hit send.

I put my phone back in M’s purse, as the three of us embarked on the treacherous journey back to the safety of the sandy beach. Barefoot, and slightly terrified, we began to make our way across the jagged boulders searching for the best path that wouldn’t leave us with a sprained ankle.

When we finally reached the safety of the beach, I took out my phone. And I saw the notification.

“Oh my god M, you message him back I can’t look,” I exclaimed. I found myself paralyzed with anxiety whenever I tried to have a conversation with him. We had been talking off and on for a couple months, but nothing more than the brief conversations I cut short due to my fear of him rejecting me.

And before I knew it M and I were climbing into my car as she told me he had invited me over. “E**** you have to go!” M demanded. She knew how into this kid I was, and my secret desires that I would never tell anybody but her.

“E**** you’re going,” M said. There was no question about it. She wasn’t forcing me to do something I didn’t want to do, she was forcing me to try something I had always been too afraid to do. And that’s the kind of person M is to me.

So we parted ways with L, and I drove us back to my house so I could give my mom some bullshit lie that we were going over to one of my friend’s houses after she got off of work. And with no questions I asked, I changed into leggings and a crop top and threw on a cardigan to make it look a teensy bit more modest for my conservative mother. I agreed to be home by 12:30, and that was that.

“Are you still coming?” he had sent 8 minutes ago.

“Yes. Leaving now,” I said having forgot I left him on read after he had sent his address.

“When will you be here?”

“A half hour,” I replied as I pulled out of my driveway, knowing full well it takes more than a half hour to get to where he lives. I plugged in the address and we were on our way. M came along because well she was staying for the week, and I needed her there. She was the reason I was in this mess, and she was going to be there when I walked into it.

“E**** oh my god. Why are you driving so slow?” M exclaimed. She was right, I was only driving 50.

“I don’t want to hit a deer,” I lied. “Do you want to drive?” I asked.

“Yes omg. Here we can get out here,” she said pointing to the flashing yellow light up ahead. I actually would rather her drive, even though she cruised down the back country roads at a solid 65, approaching 70. I trusted M (and her wild driving).

My phone lit up with a notification from him.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“15 minutes I lied.” “Hurry b...” he quickly replied back. I rolled my eyes. Does he honestly think he can rush me, the queen of being 15 minutes late to everything? I think to myself

“I almost just hit a deer,” I fired back, hoping he’d feel a little bad for being so pushy. I didn’t lie this time, there was a deer that ran across the road in front of us, except I wasn’t the one driving.

"Oh shit be safe.” he typed back. I left him on read and sat back in my seat trying to relax a little. Knowing it wasn’t going to be that long before M would be dropping me off at his house. “What are you going to do while I’m in there?” I ask M, trying to make an excuse for why this whole thing won’t work out.

“I don’t know. I’ll probably just drive around and probably just go on my phone. I’ll be fine.”

And before I knew it, we were in his driveway. M pulled out a condom from her purse.

“E**** he’s right there...” and sure enough I look up and he’s standing in the doorway.

“Just take the condom E****,” M says handing it to me and I place it in the front pocket of my bag.

“Okay well here goes nothing,” I say nerves causing me to tremble slightly. I still can’t distinguish if it was from fear or excitement.

“Hey how are you?” he asks, even more attractive in person despite being under the fluorescent outside lights from the garage.

I guess I should explain just exactly who he is.

His name is T and he is (now was, since he graduated lol) a senior at one of the two large high schools in my area. T also plays baseball (one of my primary turn ons to be quite honest with you...). And for three months or so, ever since we followed each other on Instagram, and added each other on Snapchat our interactions never became anything more than minor.

Him liking my posts, or me messaging him once in a while. Him swiping up on a selfie I posted on Snapchat (in hopes that he would message me. My plan worked ha!). But all of these interactions weren’t anything special, nothing to make me think that he actually had any interest in me, or found me attractive at least.

I mean in all honesty, he was a baseball player (and football player but honestly who cares about football when you have bAseBaLL pAnTsSSs). And something about baseball players made a guy instantly more attractive, and the fact that T was practically unattainable drew me to him even more. Plus he’s a skater, and not mediocre either.

He is honestly everything I could ever fantasize about in a guy. And the fact that I thought he was too good for me, and that our relationship was going no where made me crush even harder.

And that’s just the kind of person I am. I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never even kissed a boy, and for some reason I am only attracted to boys who I can never have. Or that’s what I thought...

T leads me up the short flight of stairs to his room.

“Sorry about the mess,” he apologizes, “I haven’t really had time to clean it.” And I pretended I didn’t care, because I honestly didn’t. I knew full well that my room was just as bad. I look around and it looks exactly like how I would think his room would look: a mixture between skate paraphernalia and baseball trophies. Pictures scattered here and there.

I have to admit, it was awkward being in a boys room for the first time, but also a boy who is almost a complete stranger besides for the bits and pieces of information I’ve been able to collect through our conversations and our social media interactions.

I’m sure that T could sense that I was a little nervous. I sat at the head of his bed, and he sat at the bottom of the bed on the other side. We talked about everything: baseball, softball, how he can’t stand to lose, where I want to go to college, where he’s going to college. We talked about so many different things, in such a short period of time.

He moved closer, and sat beside me. He went to show me a Patagonia sticker he had on his dresser by reaching over me and holding it up for me to see, after we had talked about the brand for sometime. Next thing I know, his hand his on my thigh and his lips are on mine.

I’m completely numb because oh my god this is my first time ever kissing a boy, I’m seventeen years old and this is my first time ever kissing a boy! Oh my god what do I do with my tongue? Is it okay if I hold his waist? He has such nice hair, I love running my fingers through it, I hope he doesn’t think this is weird.

A million questions ran through my mind, as I find myself on top of him as we’re still making out. Somehow I’ve managed to lose my sweater, tank top, and I vividly remember rolling my eyes as he fumbled trying to take off my bra. Suddenly, I feel T break away from the kiss.

“Do you want me to go put on my baseball pants?” he asks looking me in the eyes with that melt-your-heart smile. For a second it takes me a second to register what exactly he’s asking and then it clicks. I mentioned something earlier when we were messaging that I had a kink for boys in baseball pants, and now here I am.

“Oh my god no. It’s fine. I was really just kidding,” I say laughing. I’m so embarrassed yet flattered.

“Really it’s no problem. I have a couple pairs, it’ll only take me a minute,” he says seriously.

The fact that this boy, a popular, attractive senior baseball player, is willing to go put on a pair of god damn baseball pants just for me is honestly the funniest and cutest thing ever. I lost my virginity that night to this boy with the baseball pants that I refused to let him put on.

Our time together was cut short because he had to go meet his mom at his grandparent’s cottage in less than twenty minutes.

“Yeah I’m really sorry about all of this...” he says referencing that fact that we didn’t get to finish what we started.

“No it’s fine. I would rather leave early than have your mom come home and think I’m a slut,” I admit laughing.

“Yeah that would be bad. My mom like works with teen moms. So I’m always kinda worried that someday a girl’s going to go in there and my mom’s just going to be like ‘hey you look familiar’,” he jokes and I laugh. I can’t help but to wonder how many girls he’s sleeping around with that this is a scenario he can see happening.

“You don’t need to go yet,” he says as I try to find all my clothes. I’m thankful for the fact that I wore a sweater because I didn’t wear underwear and I can’t find my fucking leggings. “Would you like anything to drink? Water or a beer?”

“I’ll have a beer,” I say.

“Let me go get it,” he says as he finishes getting dressed.

“Okay sounds good. I’ll just text my ride real quick,” I hurry and text M and ask her where she is. She says she’s right across the road and I tell her to give me five minutes. T leaves the room, and I continue to look for my pants, and I’m starting to think that there’s no retrieving them and I’m going to have to go out into the subdivision not wearing any pants.  

“Do you have everything?” he asks handing the beer to me.

“Um actually, I can’t seem to find my leggings,” I admit as I search frantically with my sweater wrapped around me.

“Shit,” I hear him whisper, “Well we’ll find them don’t worry.”

“Where the hell could they have gone?” he asks.

“I honestly couldn’t fucking tell you,” I say laughing.

“Here they are!” he says handing them to me. I quickly slide them on.

“Yeah all we had cold was Pabst,” he states as he cracks open his beer. “I fucking can’t stand warm beer and all the Labatt wasn’t refrigerated.”

“No this is fine,” I say.

“So do you smoke?” he asks, and me knowing full well this boy is a stoner try to play it off.

“No. I mean I’m not against it, I have friends who smoke weed, but I mean like being Catholic and all people never really offer because they assume I’m against it,” I state truthfully.

“Ah yeah the Catholics must be really against that huh?” he asks as if us just having sex wasn’t like the most gravest of all grave sins in the Catholic Church’s eyes. “Yeah I was going to say if you were against smoking you probably wouldn’t ever want to see me ever again,” and proceeds to tell me about how his mom doesn’t know that he’s a stoner.

“So do you party or anything?” he asks.

“Nope not really,” I laugh. This night was the most rebellious thing I had ever done in my life, and here he thinks that I party on the usual.

“Yeah I’m going to be having to drive soon, but I mean I’ll still be under the legal limit,” he says taking another sip of his beer as if he’s 21 and not 18.

And I can’t help but suppress a laugh because here I am literally cracking open a cold one with the boy I just lost my virginity to.

“I think your rides here...” he says peering out his bedroom window to the driveway below.

“Oh okay. Well I’m going to get going,” I say and leave my three quarters of the way drunk beer can on top of his dresser and make my way down the stairs by myself not waiting for him to follow me.

“Hey do you want this,” I here him ask from his bedroom as I reach the bottom step.

“No that’s fine,” I say opening the door and I feel him walk up behind me.

“Well thanks for coming,” he says as he throws the used but not filled condom into the trash can in the garage.

“Yeah thanks for having me,” I say trying to make my quick escape from anymore awkward conversation. I get into the car after saying our quick goodbyes and he just stands in the doorway like he did when I arrived.

I feel the warmth of M’s flash from her camera as she takes a video of me getting into the car.

“Oh my god M lets just leave,” I say exhausted.

“Soooooo how was it?” she asks laughing.

“Sex is so much fun,” I say exhausted, slightly sore, and so so happy and dazed and slightly drunk.

To be quite honest with you, I still cannot believe that that night’s events actually happened. That I lost my virginity to this boy, this BASEBALL boy, with the nice hair, and contagious smile, who also happened to be a skater. And it was no fantasy of mine, my first time, but it was natural and it felt right and I’m glad it happened with him just the way it did. Also, the hickey on my boob lasted for quite a few days.

-E