#the funnies thing about this is that I fucking HATE economics irl. Truly my least favorite subject. But then I go and write *this*...

[memento-morri-writes]

Hey!!! Since you said you have a lot figured out for your WIPs I'm interested in your answers!!

what natural resources does each nation have that the others don't? do they export/trade it at all? (For any WIP you wanna answer for!)

@bloodlessheirbyjacques 👀❤️‍🔥

JACQUES, I LOVE YOU!!!!!! I'll try to keep this at least somewhat brief, but be warned, you have NO idea what floodgates you have just opened. (I actually intended to make a post like this literally over a year ago, so thank you for helping me make it!!)

Get ready for:

Econ 101 - A Crash-Course in Continental Trade Policy

Before we get started, here's some things you might find helpful:

a map of the continent (see below)

an explanation of why Anvia and Oryn don't get along

under the cut because hoo boy, this is a LOT.

Anvia, the kingdom where ATQH takes place (and which Fallon rules) is primarily an agricultural society. The country's position in the middle of the continent, plus the river running through the kingdom providing fertile land, gives makes it the best-suited area for agriculture on the continent. (Side Note: It gets colder as you got west-northwest on this continent. Oryn is cold, with long winters and short summers, while Oraine is extremely hot and the land dries up quickly.)

They grow crops and raise animals not only for their own survival, but for export to the neighboring nations. Anvia also has a decent number of craftspeople living in its larger cities, who use crop byproducts (or non-food crops) and animal products to make other products, such as textiles, leather products, etc.

Thus, Anvia's main products/exports are food crops (apples, wheat, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, lettuce, cabbages, carrots, peas, hops, among other things), created food products (wine, ale, baked goods, jams, jellies, preserves) as well as animal products (largely wool, but things like eggs, cheese, and milk may also be exported), and craftsproduts (textiles and leather products, for example).

Due to the fact that most of Anvia is farmland, be it crop fields or livestock pastures, there is very little opportunity for logging. Even the areas that haven't been developed for farming are largely prairie-like areas. Also, Anvia lacks substantial access to mountains or mineral deposits for mining. So they are lacking in construction materials such as timber, stone, and metals.

Oryn, on the other hand, is ripe with construction goods. They have massive mines scattered throughout the kingdom, especially along the mountain range that borders with Anvia. (Ironkeep, the fortress to the Northeast of Westcliff, is a major stronghold built to protect Oryn's most profitable mines.) Additionally, a massive portion of the kingdom is covered in forests, so logging is another major industry.

(Side Note: Kristopher's father and the current king of Oryn, Pierre, has increased both of these industries massively. The working conditions in both tend to be hazardous, with many people being injured or killed. (Fun Fact: If you want to know how Pierre runs his kingdom, listen to Eat Your Young by Hozier.) Kristopher believes that his father is ruining Oryn, not only by ruining much of its natural land, but also by working the people so hard.)

Notably, Oryn is also home to significant number of craftspeople, specializing in blacksmithing, metalworking, and jeweling. Orynian weapons and armor are said to be stronger and more durable than any others, and jewelry made by Orynian jewelers with Orynian stones is highly prized across the continent and beyond.

Oryn's main exports are lumber, stone, metal (raw, processed, and crafted into items), and jewels (raw, processed, and made into jewelry).

However, what Oryn severely lacks is fertile farmland. Not only is most of the land covered in trees, but the soil is quite rocky -- far from ideal for large-scale farming. (The hilly, mountainous terrain doesn't help.)

So, you can probably see why Oryn and Anvia need each other. They are forced to trade with one another to ensure the survival of both kingdoms. However, as I've explained in the past, the two kingdoms have a long history of tension between them -- which actually was the result of conflict over resources to begin with. However, despite this obvious codependency, neither one has been willing to suck up their pride and open direct negotiations between the two nations. (Fallon has tried several times during her rule, but has never once received a response from Pierre.)

So, this is where Oraine steps in. Oraine has a very hot environment, and aside from a few choice crops, not much of trade value grows there. (Their main exports, aside from a few "exotic delicacies", are fancy goods, such as fine clothes, art, and fancy furniture.) However, what Oraine does have is massive amounts of accessible coastline. Because of this, they have a long history of ship-building and maritime trade. Fortuitously for Oraine, Anvia and Oryn's border is mostly treacherous mountains, which makes overland travel difficult.

So, at some point in the past few centuries, some clever Orainian had an idea, and Orain graciously stepped in, offering to conduct trade between the two kingdoms -- for a fee, of course. Eager to continue their mutual cold-shoulder treatment, Anvia and Oryn were quick to accept the proposal. It was agreed upon that both Anvia and Oryn would be able to use Orainian ships to send their goods to each other, to Oraine, and beyond.

There are multiple companies (each owned by wealthy merchant families) that offer these services, both within the continent and beyond, and each is free to set their own price and negotiate their own service contracts with individuals, companies, or the nations themselves. However, they are charge a hefty tax that goes directly to the pockets of the ruler (currently Empress Adrienne) of Oraine.

Not only that, but Orainian merchants are well aware of how necessary their services are to both Anvia and Oryn. As such, their fees are often ridiculously overpriced. And Anvia and Oryn pay them, because they don't have any other choice. (Well, they could choose to talk to each other and begin their own trading initiatives instead of settling for Oraine's horrid prices, but why would they ever do that?)

To tie all this back to the messy international politics of the continent, the Empress of Oraine has her own fleet of trading ships that carry out trades on her behalf. It is these ships that the rulers of Anvia and Oryn are required to use when they wish to send something more between them for political purposes. Orainian leaders have long claimed this is to "supervise" and "prevent increased hostility", but in reality it's just another way to line the ruler's pockets.

The rulers of both kingdoms have signed contracts with the Empire, including a rate of charge for the service. The Empress continually pushes to raise said rate, with the monarchs attempt to negotiate a lower price -- or at least keep the same one they had before. But it's a precarious slope, because if they push too hard, the Empress could retract her offer altogether, which would be disastrous (at least in the short term) for the two kingdoms, until they were able to communicate in a civil manner and establish their own trade barriers. (Of course, the Empress has no intention of actually rescinding her offer -- it's far too profitable -- but the monarchs don't know that...)

And that's all, folks!! To anyone who read all 1,092 words of this, I am hugging you (if you accept), and buying you your favorite meal. Hopefully this isn't too boring of a read...

[yoija]

My Health 2016-2018

12/19/18

There’s a lot to uncover here. I do a lot of self-reflection so I’ve realized a lot about myself and my past and why I am the way I am. This post is to record how I feel about it current day, as a third year college student. I’m not really that articulate, but I’ll try my best here. It’s very long.

In 2016, I had just graduated high school and was in the process of transitioning to college: from an overbearingly protective and stubborn yet loving mother to completely new social environment. I lost contact with many of my old friends. My major started off as Neuroscience & Physiology (which falls under biology) because I fell into the pressures of becoming a doctor. Mentally, I had an incredibly difficult time especially my first year.

Transitioning from a high school where over half of the students qualified for free or reduced food to a (semi-)prestigious UC in STEM? Fucking hard. I remember on my UC application, they asked whether our school had access to resources. I mean, it’s the only thing I know, so I thought the several AP classes and minimal counselor guidance we had at Yerba Buena High School were enough. Of course it wasn’t. We were often belittled by teachers subliminally and it influenced us (or at least, me) to prefer to be less articulate because I was afraid I would use it wrong or what not. I’m from the bay, so hip hop and slang culture was considered cool. Who the fuck wanted to be a nerd? I was too intimidated and scared to be articulate. This lead to not practicing academic language and analyzing on the spot. I hated asking questions, but I realized in college people say dumb shit all the time so I don’t even know why I was so afraid of being wrong. Also, at home, I was silenced a lot by my mom. It pushed me even more to stay quiet and just do things that made me feel smart, or rather to hide that I felt dumb. Hiding clickers. Not asking questions. Leaving discussion right away instead of asking questions. In high school, it was cool to not ask questions and not care about school.

I felt so out of place at UCSD. I couldn’t speak the way that they spoke. It’s not that I’m not smart. I do believe I am. But I felt I didn’t have that practice of being WRONG, so it prevented me from being right. Maybe it was just me being insecure rather than my upbringing. Who knows. There are tons of articulate people unafraid to ask questions from my high school so maybe I’m making excuses. I was already struggling with academics because I just wanted to feel like I belonged and I didn’t ask questions and it was dumb not to. 

Fall quarter - I believe I had mostly Cs and a B. Felt like a damn failure. All the times my teachers and mom and relatives told me I was smart? You were all wrong. I found solace in games. I started this game, Latale, when I was 10. I’ve played it on and off, but I went back to it beginning of Fall since I could escape my academics. I even made friends. I was really able to connect with someone from the guild–Jeff. I might’ve even had a small crush on him. He had a crush on this other girl, sang a song for her that he sent to me for quality check.Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae. I continued to talked to my guildies during the break as I cut ties with many of my high school friends for other reasons. The end of winter break came. I went back to school. A message from our Discord from someone who came on not so frequently: “Hey, I’m Jeff’s irl friend. I just wanted to let you guys know since I know he was close with you guys that he had a heart attack and died yesterday.”

I spiraled into a depression. I couldn’t even fathom it until two weeks later when I eventually broke down and sobbed for hours. I didn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t. It was just. So hard. I didn’t know him for long, sure, whatever. Internet friend. But he was the only stagnant aspect of my life since I was in high school. I barely talked to my old high school friends when I was in college. I wasn’t close to the one friend I had in San Diego. I had Jeff, and my guildies. Then, Jeff was gone. I had no one. Truly, no one.

Did I even want to be a doctor? Did I even like STEM? I felt so worthless. I felt like I was worth absolutely NOTHING. No one checked up on me. No one said anything to me. I tried joining clubs. I already had social anxiety, so it really didn’t help. I started focusing on working out a bit, but honestly, my depression really took over. I hated what I was learning. I felt alone. I was alone. No one really knew or understood me. I was also queer (pan) and didn’t really come to terms with it. 

Somehow I got my first A in BILD 3: Environmental science. Right at the end - spring quarter. My GPA was 3.6 for spring, and I took STEM classes! I was so happy. I’ve always loved learning about environmental science. I started thinking about switching, but it wasn’t economical. But that’s when it began: maybe I shouldn’t be a doctor. Summer came, got a job at Target which was right next to the Hillsdale 24 hour fitness gym. That summer I gymmed with Isabelle from 12-4 am sometimes. Sometimes we’d talk, sometimes we’d be productive. I got more into cardio.

Started my second year of college. I was already in the habit of gymming. It wasn’t a hassle for me. Fall quarter, I joined VSA. Met really fucking cool people. Finally I had friends. I became close to mostly 4 people in Fall/Winter: Valerie, Thuy, Ashley, & Nick. 

1. Valerie is really similar to me. I see a lot of myself in her. Has this really excitable and dorky, sometimes childish and overly cute, outer layer.  Though I didn’t really see the appeal at first (probably because I used to do that and I didn’t like myself for it), I found out we had a lot in common. We eat vegetarian sometimes, we both like to create. We’re both gay but usually go for guys. Also, she was a theatre major. The first creative/art major I actually got to know. I’ll get more into it later. Though she and I share many insecurities, she is quite confident in her decisions and inspires me to be confident in myself as well. 

2. Thuy, who came from an art high school and dresses up really well. Wild colors with short hair. A ball of fury and intelligence and passion. CS major. Fucking smart. Witty and funny. Gay as hell. I got really close with Thuy because sometimes I speak in circles yet she really understands exactly what I’m saying. She doesn’t downplay my intelligence. We see eye to eye often. 

3. Ashley, fucking hilarious and really smart. Texan. Gay as fuck too. Cultured in the arts. She also sees eye-to-eye and honestly really inspires me to speak my mind and not be afraid of being humorous and satirical while also being smart. Also, Ashley and Thuy were people who love RPDR, which is problematically my favorite show. An outlet, thank god. We don’t talk often, but when we do it’s really fucking good and below the surface. I can always depend on her to spill tea but also get really deep and fulfilling conversations.

4. Nick is stupid at times, but he is really inspiring for his physical journey. I can talk to him because he really reminds me of some people back home. He’s really dumb and goofy like them too, so it’s nice not to be so surrounded by people afraid to be dumb (UC kids). 

Anyway, the culmination of their presence really influenced me to find myself. I began thinking about not being STEM. At this point, I worked out whenever I had anxiety which was often. While I was making physical progress on my body (at my peak, I was ~170 lbs at 5′5″/5′6″), I saw myself making mental progress. Nearing the end of winter quarter, I gained a lot of confidence in myself because of the people around me. I became more confident in my art. I never pursued it because I was adamantly STEM (I had pressures from old friends to stay in STEM too), so anytime I felt my art was bad, I told myself, “It’s just a hobby. I’m not serious about it so that’s why it’s bad.” 

Nearing the end of winter quarter, I had a huge mental breakdown. I started ochem and physics and lab. I just couldn’t take it. I could never work in a lab environment, and you won’t make it into pharm/medical school if you don’t want to be a pharmacist or doctor. I talked to Valerie about hating STEM and maybe thinking about switching right before a meeting runthrough. 

I was a VSA intern, and after runthrough I couldn’t make it to GBM. I had to leave. I immediately went to Geisel. I had the biggest anxiety attack I’ve ever had in my life. Hyperventilating, extremely high heart rate. Grinding my nails into my skin. I couldn’t be STEM. I don’t want to be a doctor. I don’t want to be in research. I hate labs. I had a hookup phase here. Honestly I just wanted intimacy, but people wanted more. But at the same time, I really wanted to feel.. wanted. I had felt so alone for so long. It was nice now that people considered me pretty and wanted me. That was toxic for me, but it continued.

My GPA was ok. 3.1. I’m sure I could’ve graduated on time and everything if I had pursued STEM. But my work ethic, it just wasn’t there. I had no motivation to study, ever. I felt dumb, but I realized maybe- 1. okay, admittedly, I’m not the smartest, so I do have to work for knowledge but 2. my work ethic reflected my desire for this career. 

I knew it was time for a change. I considered being an environmental science major. I thought I’d at least stay in STEM and get a BS while working on my art because art can be improved anytime. I switched to being a media major 2 weeks later because I realized I just wanted to use my time in college while my housing and education is covered to truly work on my art. 

I started dressing the way I wanted to- loud and proud. Bright. Unapologetically confident. Feminine. Masculine. I learned about cameras. I learned about editing. Around this time, I met my current boyfriend. One of the people I began hooking up with but ended up really liking, duh. He’s also really creative and artistic and dresses well, which also inspired/influenced me to do the same.

I ended spring quarter as a media major, but I began the summer as a vis art speculative design major. I started working for CAIDA, the supercomputer center at UCSD as a graphic design assistant. I worked with 88Rising as a marketing ambassador for UCSD. I took creative classes like photography. I bought the Adobe Creative Suite. 

I really began to develop my art. Taking VIS 1 was great because I even got to practice my drawing, and I realized I don’t want to draw for a living. Though it’s a fun hobby, I find the most joy from working as a graphic designer and editor. I don’t know much about cinematography (and it’s a facet of art I’d like to improve on), but editing? So. Fucking. Fun. 

My work ethic is way better now. It might just be that art is “easier,” but is it really? It takes a long ass fucking time to study and improve art, just like it takes a long ass time to study for and understand STEM concepts. Art and STEM both contribute significantly to society and culture and advancements in the two. I struggled with becoming an art major because of the stigma of it being easy. But I now find myself confident to be an art major. 

Because of my consistent physical progress, I realized that small bits day by day do a huge difference in years. I recently posted a 2016 vs 2018 body picture and people see how significant it is. 

Yes, working out and gymming can be really superficial. Yes, I am becoming more aligned with society’s standards of beautiful and in that way I’m contributing to the toxicity of body image. I still get body dysphoria since my relatives used to call me fat and told me to work out. But to me, working out was a way to ingrain in my mind that no matter what you do, as long as you’re doing something to progress, you will make changes in your life. Changes toward your goals.

I slowly have reached my small goals of body image. Why not with art? I’m not where I want to be. I don’t know anything about cameras, After Effects, InDesign. I barely learned Illustrator and Premiere this summer. And here I am, doing fucking amazing. Not the best art, but I have definitely. Definitely. Come a long way from the beginning of the SUMMER, when I had just started taking it seriously. Who’s to say 5 years from now I won’t be working on high budget movies making their effects? Or making posters for Nike? Working in some company making graphics or videos?

Physically, I have ingrained going to the gym as a lifestyle change. I love that I can eat and feel healthy and sometimes still indulge in food that isn’t the best for you. I am trying my very best to stay physically and mentally healthy.

I really do believe that progress takes time. I am determined not to give up on this. Although I’m still afraid to tell my mom I’ve switched majors, I have no fucking doubt in my mind I will be successful in 5 or 10 or 15 years from now. No. Fucking. DOUBT. And I will be FUCKING amazing.