#the fourth year i do not recall what i presented on as i was uhhh very intoxicated and blacked out

[aidanchaser]

may I inquire about your presentation that includes loveybug? :0 🫶🏻🥰

YES!

I just posted the first four slides bc that's what i prepared tonight

but anyway it's a party my friend hosts annually for her birthday. we had to pause for covid and other friend group drama but it's back and so i've decided to present on the lovesquare (which is not actually a square!) and the lovesquare wouldn't be complete if I didn't end with the wonderful creation of loveybug!

[i-ship-too-many-things-blog1]

Warm Me Up

Rating: T

Words: 1.1K

Pairing: Wolfstar

Summary: Christmas banter and fluff

Also on ao3

“It’s as cold as a graveyard out there.”Remus grinned at Sirius’ overdramatic assessment of the weather as he shivered and sat down at the Gryffindor table. He pulled his gloves off his hands, refusing to remove his hat because his ears weren’t ready for the cold.

“No shit.” Remus laughed at the red tinge to his boyfriends nose and cheeks.

“Bewarewolf, its swearwolf!” James cracked up at his own puns.

Remus rolled his eyes as his boyfriend sat down next to him, automatically automatically curling into the warmer boy’s body.

“Never get’s old.” Sirius grinned.

“It got old the first time he said it.” Remus sighed pulling Sirius closer to him.

“I think you will find that puns are the highest form of comedy.” James grinned devilishly.

“I beg to diff-” Remus cut himself off with a scream when he felt two ice cold hands slide under his shirt. “Jesus Christ, you can’t do that.” Remus scrambled away from his boyfriend and his ice cube fingers.

“Yes I 100% can it’s in your job description.”

“What job description?” Remus rolled his eyes, taking Sirius hands in his and trying not to yelp from the cold.

“Your job as my boyfriend.” Sirius said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t recall ever getting paid for this or signing a contract so I’m gonna say no on that one.” Remus grinned.

“Excuse me, this a volunteer position you are not getting paid anything.”

“Well why am I here then?”

Sirius pouted, “rude.”

“Uhhh guys?” James spoke up from the other side of the table. “You do know we’re here right?”

“We know.” They chorused in unison.

“I’ll make you an offer.” Sirius turned his attention back to his boyfriend. “I get to leech all the warmth off you I want, and you get to kiss me.”

“I can kiss you anyway.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Not if I refuse the kisses.”

“There’s no way you’re gonna do that.” Remus laughed. “Know yourself.”

“Damn, you’re right.” Sirius sighed heavily leaning forward to rest his head on Remus’ shoulder. They stayed there for a second and Remus tried his best to feel every point of connection between them. He did that more often than he’d like to admit in those moments of quiet between them.

Remus felt his boyfriend shift on his shoulder and he turned his head to look down at him only to be confronted by Sirius’ eyes gazing back up at him.

“Okay, new offer.” Sirius spoke quietly.

“I’m listening.”

“I get warm hugs and you get cold hugs.” Sirius smiled broadly and Remus rolled his eyes.

“Yeah that’s currently whats happening.”

“You’re asking for more?” Sirius laughed. “I can make you hot chocolate?”

“That will do.” Remus smiled.

“Earth to the shits on the other side of the table?”

Remus looked up at James and smiled. “Now who’s a swearwolf?”

“I think you’ll find he’s actually a sweer.” Sirius chipped in, “You know, like a deer?”

“I love it.” James grinned as Remus groaned.

“It’s not funny if you have to explain it Pads.” Remus sighed.

“You’re no fun.”

“Anyway,” James jumped in, “before you too get lost to the world again, can we please go upstairs?”

“Yeah sure.” They all stood up and made their way out of the great hall and up to the Gryffindor common room.

The common room was almost empty as it was the christmas holidays. There were only a couple of 2nd years playing exploding snap by the noticeboard and a couple of fourth years making out in a corner.

James grinned and made his way over to the fireplace and spread himself out over the entire sofa. Peter quickly sat down in the armchair next to it leaving the other two to take up residence on the floor. Remus sat down against the arm of the sofa like a sensible person and rolled his eyes as his boyfriend lay stretched out on the carpet directly in front of the fire.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“It’s warmer than you over here.” Sirius grinned, shifting closer to the fire.

“I’m sure it is.” Remus nodded, “And you’ll be even warmer when your hair sets on fire.”

Sirius yelped and rolled away from the fire with an alarming speed, colliding with the sofa and Remus as he hurried from the flames.

“I thought that might change your mind.” Remus laughed.

“This is not a laughing matter mister.” Sirius pouted, shifting to rest his head on his boyfriend’s leg. “My hair is the most important commodity on earth, I think you’ll find.”

“So what you’re saying is we should cut off all your hair in the middle of the night and sell it on eBay.” James grinned devilishly.

“Absolutely not.” Sirius stroked his hair protectively. “I would murder all of you immediately. Including and especially you.” He glared pointedly at his boyfriend.”

“Me? What’ve I done?”

“You didn’t protect me from the ABUSE-“ he looked at James quickly, “that I have to deal with constantly. Plus you haven’t told me what my christmas present is.”

"And why would I tell you what your Christmas present is?" Remus' hand settled in his boyfriend's hair.

"Because I asked very nicely." Sirius grinned up at him.

"I'm not gonna tell you. You're just gonna have to wait and find out." Remus smirked.

"I bet you haven't even bought it yet and you're just biding your time acting like you've got something when really you got nothing."

"Sure sure you think like that."

"It best be good."

"Oh it is good you're gonna love it Padfoot." James chipped in.

"How would you know?" Sirius pouted.

"Because he showed me." James grinned triumphantly.

"You what!?" Sirius sat up suddenly.

"I showed James and Pete what I got you." Remus smirked.

Sirius gave him an incredulous look. "I've been betrayed."

"Oh and Marlene as well," Peter added, "don't forget Marlene."

"Oh yeah." Remus nodded.

"I'm not talking to any of you ever again." Sirius pouted and shuffled on his bum to sit further from them.

"I highly doubt that." James laughed.

At that moment Sirius stood up indignantly then went to speak before remembering his pledge and stopping himself and instead mouthing "you want a bet?" and marched off and played a game of exploding snap with the second years.

Remus smiled as he watched because christ his boyfriend was stubborn but he knew that by the end of the night they'd go upstairs to the dorm room and Sirius would be chatty as anything until the two of them were alone and then less talking and more kissing would occur.

[kairiofknives]

The S Word (TftTG Ch. 2)

Summary: For almost two years, Futaba and Akira's relationship has been...rather tame. But one well timed innuendo sends the house mates into a spiral of assumptions and jokes that starts as amusing, but ends up being a source of stress for our young couple, especially Futaba.

Advisory: Contains discussion of body insecurity and sexual themes. (Nothing too major, but still something to prepare for.)

Read on AO3

If Makoto tried hard enough, she could probably pin point the week in which this whole debacle started. It was probably late in June, in their fourth month of officially living in The Guild, when the assumption first brewed in the minds of their members and started spreading like wild fire. Honestly, as much as she would like to remember it being Ryuji who started the whole thing, it could have been anyone. All parties were interestingly enough on the same page back then.

Futaba and Akira recall what most do not: that the topic of their sex life was first brought up by Makoto herself during a movie night.

Life in the Guild changed a few things for everyone. Now, there was constantly someone doing something interesting and worthy of their attention. Spontaneous trips to Central Street were common place. There were frequent video game tournaments in The Den, which was what Ryuji and Futaba referred to their bedroom as. Akira hadn't argued so the decision was decided to be unanimous. (Akira had also been asleep, but no one mentioned that part.) The most scheduled events were family meal times and the Saturday night movie.

With seven different movie preferences, it became obvious that a rotation of movie selection privileges was required for this to work. They had installed a large white board on the wall, indicating such important things as who picked the movie that week as well as who was doing dishes (the most despised chore) and an open slot where any plans for outings could be formally announced. This particular week, Ann had chosen Leap Year. From Makoto's perception of the cover, it was your typical Rom Com. Still, that was perfectly fine. Two weeks ago, Yusuke had offered up A Dog's Purpose as their movie, which had brought every single person to tears and prompted Morgana to take a pilgrimage to tell all dogs in the neighborhood they were good boys. It seemed no one had yet to recover their full range of emotions, so sure, a Rom Com was fine.

By the climax of the movie, most people were asleep, including Akira and Futaba who were curled up on Makoto's lap and snuggled against her shoulder respectively. Ann and Ryuji, the only other two conscious beings by the time the credits rolled, looked over and cooed affectionately at the display.

"Hey, Mom, look. You're cuddling an entire relationship," Ryuji snickered.

Makoto giggled good heartedly. "So it seems. On the topic of our family designations, doesn't that make this," she gestured to the sleeping beauties, "kind of weird? The Dad of the family is dating the cute little sister?"

Ann stood to stretch, laughing. "Yeah it's pretty weird, but those are the most accurate family titles. I mean, when any of us have problems, we literally just wander the house until we find you or Akira. And you guys were the leader duo of the Phantom Thieves too. So yeah, you're our parents. And Futaba is...Futaba so she's our littlest sister."

"Literally and figuratively," Ryuji pointed out.

Makoto smiled, stroking Akira's hair. Futaba snuggled in deeper to her shoulder and added groggily, "You forget that Akira is basically Sojiro's adopted son so he is also my brother."

"Oh my God, that's so true," Ann muttered. "He's Phantom Dad and Coffee Son."

Akira finally joined the conversation, flopped from his side to his back and yawning, "The family that stays together gets together. What is life without a little incest?"

Makoto rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose the one silver lining is that you aren't blood relatives. Congratulations. Your children may not have horrific birth defects."

Ryuji burst out laughing, "May not?! Holy crap, Makoto."

Futaba finally sat up, wiping at her eyes. "Well, I'm kind of hoping we are all still least tangentially related because my line of the family is a curse to all daughters."

"What?!" Ann demanded, indignantly. "What's that mean, Futaba?"

The girl simply blinked and cupped on small breast in her hand pointedly. "As the one girl in this group without bombshell tits or a tabloid worthy butt, I feel justified in this assessment."

Akira made a very unhappy grumble from his spot, still not opening his eyes. Futaba smiled a bit and kissed his forehead. His frown remained present.

Makoto shook her head in amusement, "I agree with the others on this one, Futaba. You're lovely just as you are. Besides, Akira seems to have no complaints about your body."

Akira's eyes shot open and met Futaba's. They passed a look of "whut" between them, that was drowned out completely by Ryuji's added, "Yeah! I mean, come on, Futaba. How many people could Akira have conceivably ended up with? He picked you over all of those "bombshell girls". Your sex appeal may not take the same form as Ann's, but it landed Akira freaking Kurusu in your bed, didn't it?"

"Wow Ryuji, way to make it seem like the only reason she should approve of her body is if a guy does," Ann scoffed, heading into the kitchen.

Makoto ushered Akira off her lap and patted Futaba's head before following Ann. "Good try Ryuji. We will work on it."

Ryuji grumbled, swiping his drink off the table and headed upstairs.

Akira and Futaba sat in the silence of the living room, listening to Yusuke and Haru's deep breathing. Akira was the first to speak up. "Do you think we should have said something?"

"Meh. I mean, it really isn't any of their business."

"I feel like they're making it their business anyway. And with inaccurate information at that."

Futaba stood, stepping between Akira's spread legs to wrap him in a hug. Her still tired boyfriend hummed happily, wrapping his arms tightly around the girl and nuzzling against her chest. "I don't see it being a big deal. It might even turn out being kinda funny if they think we're always sneaking away to bone at all hours of the day."

Akira laughed into her stomach. "You derive amusement from the strangest things."

"Guilty as charged."

~~~

In truth, Futaba expected to never hear about the conversation post movie night ever again. Surely, everyone else had better things to talk about, right?

Evidently not.  The references to her private life started out rather timid and vague.  Ann complaining about guys who were taller than her and Makoto sweetly pointing out that she and Akira got along just fine.  It was cute and harmless and Futaba liked the feeling of being the referenced source material for "successful relationships".

Then, things got a bit weirder.

Haru and Ann had convinced Futaba to let them paint her nails.  She liked having her nails painted and liked being pampered even more so she agreed.  That's how she ended up with her hands on her thighs and her legs comfortably in Haru's lap.  The girls chatted on and off about various things, mostly Ann's modelling gigs, when suddenly, Ann turned on her.  "Hey, Futaba, I was wondering...ya know, Akira's a pretty tall guy.  How does he not like...crush you when you do it?"

Futaba.exe is not responding.

"Uhhh, what?"

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I was just curious."

Haru shook her head, shooting Futaba an apologetic look.  The youngest girl struggled to keep up.  "I-I mean, it's not that big of a deal. He lays on me all the time. He's not that heavy."

Ann beamed, feeding off the power of "girl talk" like it was a consumable resource.  "Yeah, I guess he is kind of a string bean.  Not the same way Yusuke is, but, you know what I mean."

Futaba really did not want to think about Inari and sex in the same sentence.

Uncaring of Futaba's lack of response, Ann carried on, "I guess I've just been thinking a lot about the physicality of it, ya know.  Porn makes it look so easy, but I just can't imagine sex with a super tall guy being comfortable.  Where would his legs go?  Where would your legs go?"

Haru huffed, putting the cap back on her bottle of nail polish.  For a moment, Futaba hoped that maybe Haru was going to spare her poor soul and end this strange conversation.

"You haven't been watching the right porn if you think missionary is the only way to do things, Ann-chan," Haru chirped pleasantly, before placing Futaba's feet carefully in her chair and strolling out of the bedroom.

She wasn't sure who was more shocked: her or Ann.

Luckily, that embarrassing endeavor ended there.  Akira had also been falling victim to gratuitous sex talk.  He pulled her aside one night before dinner.  "Can we please tell them they're misunderstanding the situation?  I feel like all I hear about anymore is other people's opinions of some made up version of my sex life.  It's making me pretty uncomfortable honestly."

Futaba felt for her poor boyfriend, but was still sort of having fun listening to the weird conversations that were prompted by this whole situation.  She laughed, "Oh come on, Akira, lighten up.  You're not embarrassed are you?"

Akira's gaze darkened a bit.  "Honestly, yeah."

With a scoff, she muttered petulantly, "Well I'm sorry I'm not who you want people to joke about you rolling around in the sheets with.  Geez."

The silence following her quip was heavy.  Futaba cautioned a look up at Akira to see him staring at her with an almost emotionless expression.  Uh oh.  Before she could say anything, he turned and walked down the hallway, up the stairs.  She heard his door close heavily and sighed.  She didn't see him again that night, but he responded to her to good night text.  So, he was mad, but not completely avoiding her mad.  She could work with that.  She vowed to try to make it up to him the next day.

~~~

When she got to the house the next afternoon, she had absolutely no plan for how to approach this conversation with Akira, only knew that it had to happen.  She had spent a good deal of the day trying to get the thoughts in her head to condense into words, to almost no success.  Nothing would help though, so Futaba planned to politely ask that Ryuji chill in the living room for an hour and hash it out with Akira.  That probably would absolutely not make the "our friends think we're having sex but we're not" issue worse, but she could only battle one thing at a time.

That was the plan anyway.  When she climbed the stairs, she was instantly spotted by Ann.

"Futaba! Hey! Can we talk real quick? I need your advice."

She sighed.  One quick diversion wouldn't derail her plan.  "Coming."

When she entered Ann's room, she honestly had no idea what to expect.  Ann loved to chat with her, but very rarely ever asked her for help unless it was about her laptop.

"Ok, so you know how I've been talking with this male model I did that shoot in July with?"  She nodded.  "Well, we've been flirting. A lot.  And it's been getting a little....intense. Anyway, he offered to send a pic and I figured, eh, why not, and...well, just look."

That...was certainly not a part of the male anatomy she planned to see today.

"He sent you a dick pic?"

Ann nodded, looking completely casual about the extremely explicit image on her phone.  "Yeah. He said I didn't have to send anything back, but now that I have this, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with it.  It's sort of...weird to look at without the rest of the body to also look at, huh?"

She had to get the hell out of here.  Like now.

"Uh, I don't know.  I've never gotten a dick pic before, I guess."

Ann giggled, "Yeah, but you've see a dick though.  That's much more helpful.  So, reason I called you in here, in your opinion, how...sizable is this?"

Oh my god.  "Sizable?"  Could her face get any redder?

"Yeah, like...do you think it would hurt?  I mean, you could just compare it to Akira's I guess and tell me if that hurt."

Futaba squeezed her eyes shut.  Ok, no way.  Uh uh. Nope.  Akira was right, this was actually the worst.  "Ann, I don't really feel comfortable talking about that."

When she opened her eyes again, she was surprised to see Ann looking a bit, panicked.  Ann shook her head quickly, frowning.  "No, no, I'm sorry that was super untactful."  She was speaking pretty quickly.  Even for Ann.  "I...guess I'm just not sure what to do here."

The younger girl smiled to herself.  Ann was quirky and could sometimes be far too blunt, but she never meant to make her uncomfortable.  Still, Ann's behavior ever since she starting talking to his guy had been...a little bit off.  The level of boy crazy the blond had been recently was just a bit too drastic to be normal.  It almost felt fake.  Futaba's eyes widened a bit.  Maybe it was.  "Do you even like this guy, Ann?"

The blond blinked, bit her bottom lip and then shook her head. From the troubled look on her face, Futaba knew she had hit the nail on the head. "I mean, kinda?  He's cute.  But, we don't click super well."  Ann sighed, picking at her nails. "But, ya know, it's not like I have anyone else lined up. And he's not that bad. I could maybe start to like him...if I tried hard enough..."

Futaba frowned, tone stern.  "The Ann I know and love would never just try to make it work with a guy just for the sake of it."

Ann groaned and dug her palms into her eyes, "Ugh! I know! I'm just...ugh."  For a moment, Futaba was worried Ann would start crying.  She was not well equipped for that sort of comforting.  Eventually, though, Ann lowered her hands, looking more defeated than Futaba had ever seen before.  "I guess I just wanted something."

"Something like what?"

"I don't know," she whined, "Like what you and Akira have, I guess."  That one, Futaba did not expect.  She had been half viciously enjoying how envious everyone had seemed of her apparent experience on this matter.  Unsurprisingly, watching one of her bed friends actually acting out due to jealousy that she was making worse...didn't make her feel too great.

"Ann, no. You're wonderful, and gorgeous, and driven and a fantastic catch.  I'm honestly jealous of you.  How...effortless everything seems to you.  And even if you don't have everything all figured out, you sure look like you do, which is even more impressive."  She paused, holding Ann's hand.  "I'm not single, so I can't exactly relate to how you're feeling.  But, I do know that you're worth a hell of a lot more than settling for some guy, who is willing to send out dick pics rather than connecting with you like a normal person, just because he's pretty to look at."

Ann's smile started small but grew larger the more Futaba talked.  Finally, she decided, "Ya know what, you're right Futaba."  She stood, hands on her hips and a determined shine to her eyes. "Ann Takamaki settles for no one!"

"Here here," Futaba agreed, glad to see Ann back to her normal fiery self.  "Now if you don't mind..."

Ann blushed, "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I dragged you in here just for this. Enjoy your evening with Akira!"

Futaba fled before any more innuendos or attempts at long emotional conversations could be made.

~~~

Futaba wandered down the hall in a daze. She loved her friends dearly, but sometimes they could be a little bit...exhausting. Also, she never wanted to think about another penis for as long as she lived.

Ok, well maybe not, but it would be at least a few hours. Maybe even days.

As she approached the end of the hall, she ran into Ryuji who was dressed in a ironed button down, nice jeans and holding his pillow and blanket. What?

"Going somewhere, Ryuji?"

The boy grinned at her.  "Hey Futaba!  Guess what?  No actually, you'll never guess.  Or just be mean about it.  Anyway, I got a date tonight!"

"Huh, really?  You look like you're headed to a business casual slumber party."

Ryuji puffed his chest out, "Nope, your sarcasm cannot hurt me now, Futaba!  I've just scored some expert advice so I may not be home until late."

Futaba's brow raised at the idea of "expert advice". So Akira had gotten grilled too, huh? Damnit. She'd be giving him back rubs and head scratches for weeks to make up for this mess...

"And you have your pillow with you because...?"

"Oh I'm gonna. Ya know. Give you guys some alone time. Sleep out on the pullout tonight. Figured it's the least I can do."

The girl groaned, "Ryuji."

"No no. I get it. Couples gotta do the do sometimes. If this date goes well, I'm gonna need to be kicking you guys out. It's all good. Equivalent exchange."  He snickered to himself.  "See what I did there?  That was totally an FMA reference."

Futaba blinked but let him run his mouth. She was far far too tired to argue at this point. What the ever living hell had she gotten herself into? Maybe she'd take advantage of Ryuji's generous offer. To hang herself quietly in the privacy of their quarantined "sex den". Geez.

"How kind of you. Alright. Well, gotta run. Lots of carnal relief to be had. See you later. Good luck on your date," she replied mechanically, shuffling to the room and shutting the door firmly behind her. She leaned back against it with a sigh.

When she finally opened her eyes, she spotted Akira wrapped in the large blue comforter, face down in the bean bag chair she insisted they buy for the room. She observed him idly for a few moments before sighing again and grumbling, "Ok. You were right. I was wrong. We should have told them right away. This kinda sucks."

Akira unburied his face from it's cloth tomb and looked up at her, looking utterly unamused and just as exhausted as she was.

"Oh, don't give me that face. You know I can't deal with that sort of emotional blackmail," Futaba groaned, slumping against the door a bit. Akira continued to stare at her, blinking occasionally. He didn't even seem mad at her. Or even annoyed or disappointed. Just tired. Her heart squeezed, unable to just leave him looking like that even despite her own crabbiness. "Oooh. Damnit! Alright. Fine, you win."

She threw herself down on the bean bag with him, assuming Akira's favorite position of her on her back, arms spread wide open, waiting to cuddle the hell of him. It took him a minute. At first, he only looked at her blankly from his blanket cocoon. But eventually, he huffed, untangling himself to flop down on top of her chest, face hiding in her neck. She took some time to tug at the blankets, arranging them to fit over her as well. Futaba arranged her legs so he was trapped between them and pressed her face into his hair. There. Finally comfortable.

They laid like that for awhile, one of her hands scratching at his scalp, the other buried under his shirt, running her nails softly up and down his back. By the amount of happy rumbling and sighing she was getting, she imagined he had forgiven her. Still, didn't mean they shouldn't talk about it. "I'm sorry, Akira. When you said you were uncomfortable with how much everyone was talking, I should have immediately corrected them. I wasn't thinking about you at all. All I cared about was what I was getting out of it. I'm an A tier jerk. And a trash tier girlfriend. And I'm really really sorry."

Akira huffed against her neck. "I wouldn't go that far." He planted a kiss on her pulse point, sending pleasant shivers through her. "What were you getting out of it, out of curiosity?"

Closing her eyes, Futaba grimaced. "In reality, nothing. But. I guess. In my mind, I thought I was being adult." Akira made an inquisitive noise, nudging her with his nose. It was such a feline thing to do, she made a mental note to buy him a black cat onesie for Christmas. Morgana would probably love it. "I don't know. It's like...hmm. You know how Ann and Ryuji call me the little sister? Well, suddenly, I was better at something than them. They wanted to be in my shoes for once, not the other way around."

"Futaba, you were already better at something than them. Than all of us. How many times a week does someone ask you to fix their computer or teach them how to use a program? You're a genius and the only tech savvy soul in this building."

"Not like that though," she mumbled. "Ok, fine, maybe it was more so Ann than Ryuji. Almost entirely Ann actually. And Makoto." Futaba sighed, biting her lip. "I guess the whole thing about the other girls being more...womanly than me wasn't just a joke. I'm only a year younger than Ann and look at the difference between us. She's literally a super model and I'm...just me."

Akira adjusted his weight, trying to get his arms underneath him and push himself up. Futaba tugged him back down her chest. She needed to say this and knew the moment their eyes met, her train of thought would be derailed. Once he stilled once more, she continued.

"It's not just physical looks either though. It's. Ugh. Ann is so confident in herself. And maybe it's because she looks the way she does, but part of me feels like if we traded bodies right now, she'd still have this aura of utter sexiness and I'd still be a wreck. I know you're the one who suggested we go slow. You've said multiple times you're content with just kissing. But. I guess I wonder if that's really true. It's been almost two years after all. And I've...felt you get excited while making out but you never push me. Which is so sweet, but..."

Futaba paused, drawing in a breath, then releasing it slowly.  "I know you want to go further. I'm worried that you're holding back for my sake and not enjoying it as much as you could. And as much as I wish it weren't necessary that you hold back...it is. I do get overwhelmed easily and that frustrates me. Because if I were Ann or Makoto or Haru, I probably wouldn't have any trouble jumping your bones and not feeling like...I was about to explode even thinking about it. And I guess I just feel like...you deserve someone you don't have to hold back with."

She stopped and listened to the combined sounds of their breathing. Akira's was a bit faster than normal. She knew he was probably clenching his fists a bit. Maybe she had made him mad. But, she thought, looking at the ceiling as if it contained the answer to the meaning of life, she wasn't unsatisfied with how the words have come out. She wasn't sure exactly what outcome she wanted. What did she want him to reply? Her breath hitched in her throat at the idea of Akira actually agreeing with her. Eyes squeezed shut, she tried to convince herself that would be ok.

It wouldn't be, though.

"Are you finished?"

Sweet boy, always careful not to overstep his bounds. Even now. Futaba loosened her hold on him. "Yeah."

Akira sat up and scooted backwards a bit. His eyes were trained on the his crossed legs, a dark gleam to them that she simply couldn't decipher. The distance he was putting between them, in both the physical and emotional sense, made her heart constrict painfully. She was not the biggest fan of having these tense, seemingly life or death type conversations.  But, despite the obvious discomfort of having to drag all their shadows into the light and look them in the eyes, they had never had a rough heart to heart of his nature that didn't immediately and thoroughly clear up misunderstandings and provide plans of attack for the future.  They were good at this, she and Akira.  They were on the same team, she reminded herself.  Oracle and Joker.  If she just honestly conveyed her thoughts and trusted in him, everything would be fine.

Didn't mean it wasn't nerve-wracking though.

She mirrored the boy's stance, maintaining the distance he had purposefully created.  As soon as she was settled, Akira let out a loud sigh.  "Does what I want not matter at all in this situation?"  Futaba stayed quiet.  The unspoken rule between them was that if the other wasn't meeting your eyes, they were still thinking.  Akira pointed watched his fingers fidget with the hem of his pants.  She would wait.

"People use the word 'deserve' a lot. 'You deserve better' or 'I don't deserve him'.  As if the only things worth having in life are that which we are somehow derived to deserve.  Never mind how subjective the idea of deserving something is, but if everyone got what they deserved...well, Shido and Kamoshida would never have even met me, in all likelihood."  Akira shook his head, clenching and unclenching his fists. "My father is no sage, but he has taught me a couple interesting things. One of them was that the word 'deserve' is usually never directed at the right person. It usually reflects the speaker's own desires.  I don't think that's always true." Akira spared a glance up at Futaba, eyes roaming over her face before flickering back to his lap.  "But I definitely think it is true in this case."

Both hands came up to run through his hair roughly.  His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, his gray eyes stormy in appearance.  Whatever idea he had rolling around in his head spun and spun, until he finally lowered his hands again.  "Whether I want to go further is irrelevant.  This wouldn't be bothering you if you weren't discontent yourself." Akira clicked his tongue against his teeth, "When we first tried getting you acclimated to being outside of the house, I pushed you.  We threw you into different social environments head first and expected you to swim or me to save you.  We very well could try that here too, but..."  Akira wrung his wrists in agitation, frowning.  "This is so different though.  This isn't just coaxing you out a room that you thought of a prison.  This is more like...trying to coax you out of the assessment of your body as a prison."

Futaba inhaled sharply. Akira's eyes flew to meet her own but she closed them defensively.  She remembered with striking vividness what being a prisoner of her own heart felt like.  The constant desperation, echoing self hatred.  No, this wasn't quite like that.  This type of discontentment settled in her stomach, akin to the feeling she got before the panic when she first got separated from Akira in Akiba.  She opened her eyes again, and saw that Akira had placed his hand next to hers, palm up.  An invitation.  She met his anxious eyes, smiled just a bit, just enough to show she was ok.  "It's not a prison," she corrected, tone soft, almost a whisper.  "It's more like...an unfamiliar place. It's...my body, but I don't feel like...I completely own it.  It's like a stranger sometimes."  She grimaced, shook her head, met his eyes.  She needed help.

Akira wet his lips and offered, "So a bit like a new house, maybe?  Your name is on the sign out front and the lease, but the inside doesn't quite look like home yet.  Is that it?"

Futaba ruminated over the analogy for a bit, tried to picture it.  Her time as a shut in meant she ignored her body, in multiple ways.  Didn't eat always.  Slept too little or too much, no in between.  The loathing and self hatred made emotions like arousal and lust just as useless to her as happiness and hope were.  The most time she ever spent naked was in the shower, which she admitted to herself she didn't do often enough.  She supposed, in many ways, it was a lot like a new house.  She hadn't spent time in it, didn't try to decorate or make it hers.  Yet, was shocked or upset when it felt alien to her.

...And if she didn't even feel content in this house, why would she feel comfortable inviting guests over...?

She nodded, slowly at first, then more firmly.  Akira's eyes lit up a bit, pleased.  "Yeah, that's exactly it.  I'm not completely comfortable looking at my own body naked yet, so it kinda makes sense that I'm jittery about letting someone else see."  She sighed a bit, slipping her hand in Akira's outstretched one.  She liked the way their fingers slid together, nice and snug.  In a weird tangential way, that was what she really wanted out of physical companionship.  Feeling a secure connection.  Being close for the sake of closeness.  As close as two people could possibly get.  Futaba met Akira's eyes once more.  "I want to be with you.  Closer than anyone else.  I want to touch you and make you feel good and not be scared for you to return the favor.  I just...I want you."  A bright red blush spread across Akira's cheeks, bringing a smile to her equally red face.  Her mood dampened a bit as she admitted, "I want that so much, but...I don't know how to get there."

Akira squeezed her hand and declared, "I do."  Futaba's eyes widened.  "Same way we got you used to being out in the world again.  You just need to get used to it.  Much slower this time, probably, but same basic process.  We can give you assignments to get you more comfortable being naked or being touched.  Work our way up to whatever end point you want to reach."

Futaba's smile was soft, but excited.  "Another promise list?"

"Exactly.  We'll go at your pace.  You write out the steps you want to take, and we can get there however or whenever we please."

Her optimism made her bold. The smile slowly spread to a smirk.  With mischief in her eyes, Futaba leaned in right next to Akira's ear and purred, "And if my end goal happens to be 'fuck Akira Kurusu absolutely senseless'?"

Futaba felt the body underneath hers shudder, a hand coming up to hug her close to him.  His voice was a bit raspy, "Well, first I would ponder where on Earth you got so disillusioned as to think you're not the sexiest woman living in this house." He planted a firm kiss on Futaba's cheek, and nudged her gently back a bit to look into her eyes.  "And second I would say that Akira Kurusu must be a pretty lucky guy."

Futaba snorted in amusement, obviously blushing, "Stop fibbing, you nerd.  Didn't we just agree my body is like an ugly house or something?"

"Hey, don't insult that house.  I happen to like it a lot and would be honored to become intimately acquainted with it, should to invitation arise," his hands rose up to cup her face, pressing kiss after kiss to her hairline, soaking in the sound of her happy giggles.  Akira pressed their foreheads together and waited until Futaba met his eyes before whispering, "I love you, Futaba."

"I love you too, Akira.  I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Would you like the mystical Chinese fortune cookie answer or the dry simple answer?"

She giggled, "The latter, please, sir."

"It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do.  I wanted to be with you and you apparently want to be with me, so we are together.  Now, no more of this deserving or undeserving bullshit please?"

"Deal," Futaba nodded.

They decided that it was late enough that getting home might be a stretch for Futaba, even if she left immediately.  She anticipated that Sojiro would be livid with her, but as soon as he answered the phone, he immediately barked, "Just stay at their house tonight, Futaba. I'd rather begrudgingly trust Akira not to do anything stupid than risk you missing your connecting train in Shibuya and getting stuck out there."

Futaba smiled, "Alright. Thanks, dad."

Sojiro sputtered, as he always did when she threw down the Dad Card unexpectedly.  "Well, just...," he sighed, "Just make sure you get to school on time alright? And you can thank me by having dinner at the Cafe tomorrow with your poor dad.  Both of you."

"Okie dokie, artichokey."

"Alright.  Good night, Futaba."

"Nighty night, Sojiro."

Akira was dressed for sleep, sprawled out on his bed like a content cat.  She giggled to herself.  The resemblance between their wonderful Trickster and dear old feline guide was sometimes uncanny.  The usual post important conversation exhaustion hit her immediately.  She knew she was free to use Ryuji's bed, or even ask Akira to take Ryuji's bed, if she so chose, but they did just decide to start pushing her comfort zones again...

"Hey, Akira," she got a hum in response. "Can my first promise list item be to sleep in your bed with you?"  Akira smiled sleepily at her, patting the bed and waggling his eyebrows.  She grinned.  "And would I be able to borrow a shirt to sleep in tonight?"

"Only a shirt? Damn, girl. You'll be jumping my bones in no time."

Just to spite him, she did indeed jump into bed without pants, relishing his surprised squawk when his hand landed on her bare thigh.  It took her awhile to fall asleep, but Akira was warm and she fit quite nicely tucked against his side, one leg thrown over his hips and head pillowed on his chest.  The gentle up and down motion of his breathing was soothing and when she did finally drop off to sleep, it was the deepest and most comfortable rest she ever remembered having.

~~~

She woke up on her own, about twenty minutes before her alarm was due to ring, based on the LED clock on the bedside table.  She had obviously done some tossing and turning at some point because her face was squished against the mattress, which she found to be sopping wet.  The culprit was likely the trail of drool dried on her cheek.  Gross.  Futaba shifted her body, trying to account for all of her limbs.  As she became more aware, she realized there was an arm trapped beneath her rib cage and a hairy leg shoved snugly between her thighs.  When she turned her head to look at her bed-mate, she very nearly burst out laughing.  Akira's face was perhaps the most calm and adorable she'd ever seen it.  She'd seen Akira sleep before, but this was the deep, lost to the world type of sleep.  Long eyelashes and gorgeous relaxed facial features.  He really was one of the most attractive men she'd ever had the pleasure to meet.

The large amount of her hair trapped in his mouth sort of detracted from the angelic image though.

Trying hard not to laugh, she slowly pulled her hair, watching with gross fascination as Akira attempted to chew it as it slide by.  Like a freaking cow.  She pressed her face back into the bed, body shaking with her mirth.  Falling asleep with another person was a bit difficult, but soothing.  Waking up with another person was actually pretty disgusting and slightly uncomfortable.

She loved it.

The arm under her suddenly curled around her and jerked her against Akira's incredibly warm body.  She squirmed for a minute, giggling.  The sleeping beauty crackled one gray eye open and slurred, "Wh's so funny?" which caused her to laugh even harder.

"You uh, probably don't need breakfast I guess.  Your stomach must be pretty full from all the hair you were munching on."

Akira hummed.  "Your hair?"

"Who else's hair could you eat?"

"It wouldn't be the first time Morgana's tail ended up in my mouth."

"Oh my god, that's soo gross."

Akira simply hummed again.

Her alarm going off was what finally pushed them out of bed.  When they got downstairs, Ryuji and Ann both had large grins on their faces, no doubt overly invested in the fact that Futaba had spent the night. Makoto was quietly sipping coffee and petting Morgana, who looked to be half asleep.  Haru was long gone, headed to her morning shift at LeBlanc.  Yusuke was buttering toast in the kitchen, but not so subtly throwing glances their way every now and then.  What a bunch of idiots, she thought.  Akira looked like he was going to say something, but Futaba put a hand on his arm.  She started this mess.  She would end it too.

Akira didn't argue, instead went to heat her up some curry, portioning out the rest in a container for her lunch.  As she waited, Ryuji and Ann kept giving her looks.  Fine, if they didn't want to make the first move, she would.

"How'd your date go, Ryuji?"

Ryuji blinked, then grinned at the invitation to blab about his evening.  Idly, Futaba noticed that Ann's grin visibly dimmed at the mention, but she promptly filed this information away under the category 'things to absolutely not butt her nose into' along with following up on their...enlightening conversation from last night.  "It was fantastic!  We really hit it off.  I don't know what it was about Akira's advice, but no matter what I said to her, she was eating out of my hands.  We've got a second date coming up soon."

Makoto smiled, "That's wonderful, Ryuji.  Glad it worked out."

Ryuji nodded, chest puffed out proudly.  "Yep!  Man, who would have thought my best friend getting some would benefit me?  Like this weird spiritual wing man thing."

"Well," Futaba started, getting right to the point, "I'm happy the advice helped, but you do know that the only 'some' Akira has gotten has been a pretty stellar amount of making out, cuddling and long heart felt conversations, right? Well...at least from me."

The room was quiet for a moment before Ann and Ryuji both muttered, "huh?"

Akira chuckled, placing a plate of curry and rice in front of Futaba before sitting down himself.  "It's true. We never indicated that we were in a sexual relationship.  That was something you all suspected all on your own."

Makoto squinted at the pair, "You never denied it either."

"Yeah, you're right," Futaba acknowledged around a mouthful of rice.  "That was mostly my fault.  Didn't see a reason to correct you because I didn't think it would be much of a conversation topic.  That was until...well, it was the only conversation topic."

Morgana stretched and launched himself into Akira's lap, nuzzling his best friend in greeting.  "I'm surprised none of you dumb asses thought to ask me.  Not only do I often sleep in that room, but I'm the one with heightened smell and hearing.  If anything were going on, I would have probably known about it."

Ann smiled awkwardly, "I think the real issue is that we just didn't ask anyone. We all just rolled with the assumption.  I'm sorry, you guys."

The other guilty parties murmured apologies as well.  Silence fell over the group once again, everyone sitting there awkwardly and not looking at each other. It was surprisingly Yusuke who chimed in, "Damn. I was so hoping that you'd agree to model for me.  I'm close to perfecting the artistic portrayal of lust, I just need about an hour of reference material."

Various screams of indignation and laughter broke out and just like that, the weird tense atmosphere was shattered.  Their morning moved along as normal then.  They all rode the train to Shibuya, Futaba still muttering to herself about "that pervy Inari."  As empties out into the underground walkway, Ann timidly pulled her aside.  She motioned to Akira to wait and went with Ann to a slightly secluded corner.

"Futaba, I am so so sorry about last night.  And how obnoxious I've been in general. I can't even imagine the sort of pressure all that talk must have been putting on you. I promise that I at least will try my best not to let something like that happen again."

Futaba shook her head, amused.  "It's fine, Ann.  I could have said something at any time.  You couldn't have known."  She gave a weak laugh and joked, "And see?  Not so much to be jealous of between Akira and I, now is there?"

Ann blinked at her, stunned.  "No, Futaba.  If anything, I'm more jealous.  Our whole society thinks of sex as the pinnacle of development in a relationship.  It's like some weird milestone people rush off to reach and let control their whole relationship.  You guys have gone two years just enjoying each other's company and going against the flow."  She grinned, rubbing her neck awkwardly, "That's the sort of dynamic I'm going to strive for now."

Futaba felt pride bloom in her gut, pride for her relationship that relied on healthy conversations and pride in her partner, who constantly pushed her to be the best version of herself she could be.  "Thanks, Ann."

When she met back up with Akira, Ryuji and he were having one of their bro hugs.  Maybe even Ryuji could have important heart to hearts when the need arose. She sidled up to her boyfriend's side and tilted her head curiously.  Akira merely smiled and flicker her forehead playfully.  When they all went their separate ways, Futaba assured Akira that she'd just meet him at LeBlanc for dinner after school let out.  

Speaking of school, she had to seriously haul ass to make it on time.  She felt like her lungs were about to pop as she sprinted up the stairs and burst into her classroom just before the final bell rang.  She very narrowly restrained herself from fist pumping in joy and made her way to her seat so the teacher could start.

Everything was back to normal.  The group chat was filled with senseless garble, mostly courtesy of Ryuji.  (She certainly helped though.)  Classes were as boring as ever and the window was just as lovely to distract herself with.  At lunch, her friends were discussing the idea of living in the dormitories at college.  "Can you imagine living with like all of your friends though?  I can't tell if that would be amazing or absolutely terrible!"

A smile crept over her lips at the thought.  So far, living with the Phantom Thieves was hectic.  Everyone shoved their noses into everyone else's business, there were more weird quirks to get used to and deal with than ever before in her life, and everyone had their own issues that all slammed into each other when they got home.  But for all of that mess, Futaba knew there was only one thing she could say on this topic.

"I think it sounds like the best thing ever."