#the former of which sort of has this problem but really the issue is that she's a snoozefest of a person

[utilitycaster]

Ok so I have to admit. I get like...structurally, why the staff would have soulbinding, because it does add a slight sense of urgency (although between the destruction of the Bloody Bridge and however much time it takes for a resurrection, should there be one, unless Ludinus stashed a clone on Ruidus or the spell takes effect there, I think there's a decent amount of time before he returns). But it is kind of annoying, especially given that Matt notably made resurrection more difficult than it is rules as written and that the games Critical Role/Darrington have put out have both had significantly reduced resurrection abilities, that these evil wizards just keep fucking coming back. The best way to put it is that it makes perfect sense, doesn't compel me though; I think it's pretty widely agreed that Delilah has long since worn out her welcome and Ludinus is pretty much at that point as well. Trent was actually quite interesting in that immortality really didn't seem to be on his radar; Halas is fun because his prolonged existence is the result of someone fucking with him; and the Kryn dynasty is a refreshingly neutral approach to arcane immortality. And more generally I think that while there's a benefit to having villains appear, absolutely wreck the heroes, and for the heroes to learn about them and pursue them and ultimately defeat them, it really is a case of diminishing returns. My potentially unpopular opinion is that I do not in fact find the Iron Shepherds arc to be abrupt or cut short: this group kidnapped three members of the party, killed another, and then the party destroyed them. Three beats. Absolutely perfect. Another would have drawn it out too much. And yeah now that we've heard Ludinus's backstory and the party doesn't seem inclined to dig into any details that would be interesting anyway, and they're either doing what he wanted to do anyway or else will presumably destroy or drive away Predathos, it's like this bitch is still out there? what's the fucking point.

[a-very-tired-jew]

It finally happened. I met a new, they've been here for a year but I've never met them before, doctoral student in my discipline who is defining their research by their activism, which in turn is showing how ignorant they are of our field and how much they want to manipulate it to support their conclusions. Furthermore, it also shows how ignorant they are of entomology. I'm really hoping their committee members and PI will address this before the student makes some serious mistakes and either causes their own name to be black listed as a scientist willing to compromise experiments for the sake of their own bias or they waste an excessive amount of time chasing a conclusion they want that isn't supported. The research interest in question is regarding development rates of forensically relevant blow flies on large and small corpses and determining if this influences development. The problem here is that we've done large, medium, and small carrion and corpse studies in the past and sort of answered this already. The conclusion is that there is a critical resource threshold that prevents an over abundance of oviposition on a resource and thus prevents prolonged development and/or death due to an inadequate amount food.

Now, there's no issue with repeating studies from one region and environment and doing them in a completely new one. This allows us to confirm and adjust our datasets based upon local environmental influences on local insect populations (i.e. differential development times based upon locality).

However, know that pigs mimic humans in their decomposition and thus we get the same blow flies. If you move to a different animal then you tend to get different species of blow fly based upon the size and species of the new carrion host. There are blow flies that are more inclined to feed and reproduce on birds, rabbits, and so on.

There are a variety of studies out there where scientists just beginning to dabble in forensic entomology put out something like a dog carcass for research purposes. They almost always end up with a community of insects that maybe has 1 or 2 species out of, let's say, 10 that are actually used in forensics and the rest are not because they don't feed on human corpses. So they make their conclusions based upon a dog study and then get confused when their data does not resemble the data from human/pig studies.

Simply put; it's a noobie mistake.

Which is fine if you're an undergrad or just starting the forensic entomology discipline and research in your country.

But for someone to be in the USA with access to experts and making this level of mistake is concerning.

Now why are they actually doing this?

They said to me, and I quote, "Because they're killing kids in Gaza".

And this shows where the bias and ignorance interplay.

Let's say that they continue with the size differential study(ies) that they want to do. We are in the southern United States. The species of blow flies we have here and the environment we are working in is entirely different. Any conclusions that are the results of this research have no impact or bearing on determining the development rate of blow flies half way across the world. The environmental conditions alone are so different that any application would be shoddy and questionable at best, let alone the fact that there are complete different subfamilies over there which we are not familiar with nor have been studied to the extent that species over here have.

So either this student has to mimic the environmental conditions for the field research they want to do and bring in foreign species or they're going to do the noobie stuff and put out animal carcasses of different sizes and have native species colonize them. The former is impractical and nearly impossible, the latter has been done.

But they want their research to be applied to Gaza because "it means so much to them" (keep in mind this student has no connection to Israel or Palestine at all).

And this is where the issue with their activism and bias comes into play.

The fact that any research they do here with native species has little to no application to a region of the world with a completely different environment and insect community has not occurred to them. A doctoral student. At best they create a model that can be mimicked by entomologists in the region, but that's it. This is concerning and indicates that the activist thinking is superseding the scientist, which in turn means their research can potentially be compromised to support the conclusions they want instead of interpreting the results for what they actually mean.

This is a type of Type I error and we've seen it a lot with scientists who want to support a particular narrative.

But at the end of the day I'm literally just flabbergasted that a doctoral student in entomology is wanting to repeat studies we've already done, by people they know no less, apply said studies and conclusions to a foreign conflict and region, and no one on their committee has pointed out the issues to them.

[uranometrias]

you can kiss a hundred boys — sam winchester

→ premise: you, the mostly stable edition to sam & dean's little hunting duo have found yourself the object of all of sam's hopes and dreams. the only problem? you barely seemed to give him a second glance and had a bigger sexual appetite than dean. which meant that night after night, bar after bar, and motel after motel, sam was forced to come to grips with the fact that you were far from interested in reciprocating any sort of feelings he may have been pathetically harboring. or so he thinks.

→ pairing: sam winchester x fem!reader

→ warnings: angst w/ resolution, heavy cursing, miscommunication trope? r! + sam both have issues with expressing themselves in healthy ways. sam is just exceptionally jealous + lashing out. r! has abandonment issues. semi love confessions. r! is described to be older than sam (take that as you will). no particular timeline, but set in earlier seasons. heavy making out. allusions and depictions of former sexual activity. no smut (i'm building up to it omg). teasing! dean. r! can kind of be read as alcohol dependant. fluff + happy ending <3

→ a/n: preparing to tackle writing a full length supernatural fic on wattpad within the coming days, and felt it was only right to dip my toes in writing for the fandom just to see if i even have a semblance of a shot of doing justice to this fandom. very very nervous at the attempt, but i hope at least one person winds up enjoying this! i hope i characterized sam well... i'm doing a rewatch of earlier seasons and tried to base this off that. fingers crossed it comes across the way i intended. <3

"And what the hell's gotten into you?" your hand drops to your hip, eyes dancing from Sam long enough to take in Dean who had his lips pursed in the way that told you he was keeping his quips and thoughts to himself. You'd just sidled up to the boys, grin big and eager as you rushed out practiced 'goodnights'. Some guy neither brother (or you for that matter) could be bothered to remember the name of had invited you back to his place, and you'd accepted graciously. After solving a case that went as good as any hunt could, you felt you owed it to yourself to have some fun.

And while the guy in no way looked like the future love of your life, there was no rule that said a girl couldn't have a little fun every once in a while. The only problem now seemed to be that your offerance of a goodbye had been enough to send Sam into a pissy mood. His face was scrunched up in that way that told you he was peeved, and for the very life of you, you couldn't figure out why.

"It's nothing." he reassures, and your eyes narrow, not buying it for even one second. "Have a good night." Sam's eyes are rolling before he can fully get it out, and your looking back at Dean, almost begging him to make things plain. All he does is let an exasperated puff of air fly from his nose as he downs his shot before flagging the bartender down for another one.

"Sammy?" and your head tips to the side, eyes shooting behind you to ensure your date for the night hadn't found someone else to occupy him. "Come on, you know I know something's wrong." you try, because even if you were itching to get laid, you cared about Sam and Dean more. Which meant if he was pissed with you, there was nothing that would stop you from at least attempting to fix it.

"Yeah, well there's not really anything you can do about it, so why don't you just go." and he's stern but not mean. Still, it makes you falter just a step. "You're better at that anyway." and this is grumbled, voice lowered, but you hear it all the same. It makes you scoff, letting out a disbelieving sort of laugh as your lips push out in disinterest.

"Right." and you wring your hands. "I guess I'll do that then." you don't mean to sound snarky, but now your feelings are hurt, and you've got no real clue why. Still, Sam Winchester was about as stubborn as you were avoidant, so if he was going to push you away, you were going to go with open arms. It's precisely why you don't say anything else as you turn on your heel and stomp away like a petulant toddler. Sam's body is swiveling in his chair, almost like he's had a change of heart, and he's turning to hurriedly apologize, but finds that you're nowhere near enough for him to try.

"Nice going." Dean says like the annoying older brother that he is, and he's letting out another chuckle that makes Sam want to slam his head into the bar seated right in front of him.

"Shut up." he retorts instead.

"Don't take it out on me just cause you're all pent up!" is what Dean says next, and Sam wonders if everything in Dean's life revolves around sex and hunting. "Maybe you should be a little more like her and get rid of some of that aggression. Hunting ain't gon' fix everything." Dean lectures, and Sam thinks if his eyes roll again they'll spin right out of the sockets.

"Look not everything can be fixed by sleeping with some stranger." Sam offers as Dean stares at him like he's grown a second head. "And besides, I didn't say anything wrong. She's always gone." he whines. "Every single night." he reiterates. "It's like she can't wait to get away from us." and Sam's not sure if that's his heartache or his abandonment issues talking. Dean isn't sure either. "I mean, even you take breaks sometimes." and Dean resists the urge to react to the clear jab at his sexual history.

"So she's having some fun. What's the harm in that? It's not like she can't take care of herself. The kid packs a mean punch." and he winces at the memory of learning it first hand.

"Yeah, I know that." Sam retorts instantly.

"So then what's the problem?" Dean is quick with his assault of questions, and Sam just wants to be left alone to pout and be angry, but he knows Dean won't let him. He never does, not fully.

"There's no problem." he tries, and Dean's smacking his teeth.

"Bullshit." he spits. "You don't jump down somebody's throat like that and take shots if there's no problem. So what is it? You worried about her or something?" and Dean is just barely missing the point. "Cause it ain't your job to ride her back Sam, she can handle herself. Sort of cases we deal with everyday a couple of guys from the bar ain't gonna be too much trouble."

"Yeah, I got the message. She can handle herself." and he's grumpier than before, the evidence plain as day on his face.

"So then what the hell's your problem?" Dean demands.

"I like her, Dean." Sam finally offers and Dean's hand is waving him off instantly.

"Well sure, I like the kid too-"

"No, Dean." he emphasizes as Dean's eyebrows jump up. It takes him a second, but it finally clicks, hitting him like a ton of bricks as his mouth screws open in surprise. His body twists, chair turning as he turns in the direction you'd just gone, and then he's looking back at Sam and every last bit of the exasperation and grouchiness makes sense. He knows he ought to be gentle with this, but finds himself smirking coyly.

" Well, well, well." he reaches out and claps a hand against Sam's back, and the much taller man jolts at the impact. "And all this time I was worried you'd forgotten how to love a woman." and Dean is Dean, which means he's probably got no idea how insensitive his remark could be. But Sam knows Dean better than anyone, so he knows he doesn't mean much harm.

"Shut up." is Sam's instant response.

"I'm just saying. You've had a lot of misses there, Sammy. So as far as interest goes, this is damn sure a step in the right direction." And Sam notes how Dean always talks about you like you're the best person in their life. Sam knows you're not, but he like that Dean admires you so much. You were a lot like him, so Sam supposed it made sense. You both were rougher around the edges, strong, smart in the tactical sense.

And you both liked to drown your sorrows and trauma in things like booze, beer, and sexual conquests. And don't get him wrong, he had no real issue with the fact you were sexually liberated. In fact it was a very respectable sort of thing for what a woman to be. He just hated the fact that he never crossed your mind in that way. He was certain you'd even joked at some point about sleeping with Dean just for kicks.

"She's not a hill to climb, Dean." Sam shoots back, and he wishes he had just kept his mouth shut.

"Of course." Dean retorts, sounding unconvinced, because as usual anything that revolved around actually being interested in a woman past sleeping with her was lost on Dean. Which meant even with his teasing, he still only thought Sam was interested in you in the weakest of senses. But that wasn't the case. Because you were so much more than just some woman to conquer. He didn't even think he'd get the chance to try. You were daunting in the best way, too sure of yourself to take being used.

Which is why he never said anything. Because at first he thought you were only a pretty face that took his mind off the hurt Jess' death left behind. Until suddenly the thought of Jess didn't sting as bad, only because your presence became some sort of salving balm. He was screwed beyond repair.

"I'm serious." Sam insists, and now it's Dean's turn to roll his eyes.

"Oh, give me a break, Sam." he retorts. "Matter of fact, give yourself a damn break. You're gonna tear yourself apart sitting here pouting about it like a damn child." and Sam huffs through his nose. "If you're not gonna be a man about it and say something, then stop making it everyone else's problem." And Dean's not being mean. He's being Dean, but in his current state, Sam doesn't have it in him to not take offense. The whole 'Be a man' of it all reminding him too much of John.

"Screw you, Dean." Sam's up before either of them can really register it, and Dean's surprised at the drama of it all. It was different when they butt heads over cases, or their differing opinions of their father. But they didn't fight over stuff like this. They both just went about their lives doing their own thing as far as women were involved. And sure Dean knew you were beautiful, but you all knew how dangerous your job was. Falling in love was a death wish, and he thought Sam of all people knew it.

But as usual, he was wrong.

"Sam!" Dean calls after his younger brother, who navigates through the quickly growing crowd of drunks with ease. "Sammy!" He knows Sam hears him, but is choosing to ignore him. Dean also knows Sam doesn't have the keys to the impala, so it's not like he could actually leave. Which is the only reason he decides to give his baby brother a second to cool off. If he hadn't spun the block in ten minutes max though, Dean would be up and out of the bar guns almost blazing.

By the time Sam had managed his way through the crowd and stepped out of the bar, he'd partially forgotten what his big tantrum was about. That is until his eyes skim the parking lot, and he finds you of all people pressed up against the side of the place all by yourself. Your back is pressed fully into the brick of the building, eyes closed as you lent your head back. You looked a lot grouchier than you'd been earlier when you'd bounced over with all your teeth showing.

He wonders if your sour mood has anything to do with him.

He stands there for a moment, debating if he would approach you, before you open your eyes, and spot him. He thinks that answers the question for him. "What are you doing out here?" he asks, and your lips push out in a show of your disinterest in having a conversation with him. You were still upset by what he said. Figures. He lets his feet drag him towards you, and you tense up the moment he's close enough to really take you in. Your entire body is clenched up, and you're quick to force a wider gap between the both of you as Sam mimicked your posture on the wall.

"I thought you were getting out of here." and he doesn't know why he continues to talk, when it's clear you're choosing to ignore him.

"I thought so too." you reply gruffly, face scrunched up in disappointment.

"So what happened?" he pries. "Change your mind?"

You shoot him a sour look. "What are you doing, Sam?" you demand. "It's barely been twenty minutes. Whatever happened to 'Why don't you just go?'." you recite his words back to him and he winces. "You didn't want to talk to me before, so I don't want to talk to you now." you say, and it's a little bit childish. You both know it. But that was the thing about the two of you. Where you and Dean meshed because of your similarities, you and Sam often found yourselves in moments of odds.

When Dean pissed you off, all it'd really take is a few hours apart and then you'd both show up with peace offerings and move on as if nothing happened. It wasn't like that with Sam, not in the slightest. He always wanted to push, to dig your emotions out of you. You despised it, almost as much as you hated how he could be such a hypocrite sometimes. Forcing you to bare everything you felt to him, but lashing out at you and Dean whenever things got too much in his head. Sometimes you hated him.

Sometimes you hated both of them.

But most times you adored them, loved them with an intensity that you could never really understand. They were your boys, your best friends. The only family you still had and could trust now. And it was a step up from the family you used to have. Jim, Jack, and Jose could only help you so much. That family only ever left you with headaches and numbness. Dazes that lasted longer than your moments of clarity, and horrible hangovers. It was why you tried so hard with Sam and Dean.

Even when they pissed you off.

Because they saved you from yourself. Showed you there was more to life than drinking away your despair. In return you offered them protection. Someone else to take on the weight of keeping them safe. It was a fair deal. Hunting with them, being a team. They watched you back, and you watched theirs, and you all became better.

"I shouldn't have said it." he says with a sigh. "I don't even know why I did." Sam says, and you know there's more. Lots more he won't say. But you need him to, mostly because you'd been driving yourself sick thinking that he was growing tired of you being around. You were worried that one day you'd have nowhere to go back to. That one day they'd grow tired enough of you and all your tears, and anger, and aggression, and you'd wake up to an empty motel room. Find out the impala was long gone, with you left in the dust.

You think that's why you try to find someone new on every hunt. Why you'd allowed yourself to start drinking a bit more again, why you giggled a little harder at some of the unfunny jokes of the men and women who picked you up at the bars. Because if you had them, had someone, it wouldn't matter if Sam and Dean one day disappeared. You'd be okay, you'd be settled. You'd survive the heartache.

"Don't lie to me, Sam." you reply quietly, and your voice is heady. Sam hadn't even noticed the flask at first, his eyes widening in that way that showed he was worried about you. In your drunk and angry state though, it just looks like disgust. "If you're just gonna do that, you can fucking leave." you insist, and Sam is shocked. "See if I give a damn." and that was another problem with you and Sam. You both weren't the best with confrontation. Sure, you could both lash out, get angry and spew out the things you'd bottled up. But it wasn't like you ever really heard one another out.

When you fought, you both came in with your calculated notions and beliefs of each other. You didn't listen to reason, you listened to how you felt. What you believed to be right. Which meant that in moments like these where you're spewing words like 'See if I give a damn', all it really told Sam was that every thought he ever had about you wanting to get away from him and Dean seemed to be proven right.

"Well if you don't give a damn, then why do you even bother sticking around?" he seethes, and you scoff, head whipping around to fully stare him down. "I mean trust me, we'd never want to hold you back." and he says this part mockingly, and you think you hate him a bit more than you ever have. "Why don't you just leave for good? Why do you stay? Why do you- why do you keep up with any of this?" he demands and you push off the wall, turning your body as you glare up at him.

"Is that what you want? For me to leave for good, Sam?" you question, hands balling into tight fists as Sam's mouth drops open in shock at your question. The obvious answer being absolutely not. "Is that why you've been walking around with a stick up your ass, lashing out, and acting like a fucking toddler, you want me gone? You're a grown man, Samuel, why don't you just grow some balls and fucking say that instead of-" and you scoff because you feel yourself getting all the more angry just looking at him. "God, I don't even know why the hell I even bother with you Winchesters!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you drive me fucking crazy!" you erupt, voice picking up. "You know why I'm still here? Why I'm not off having a nice night?" you ask, but he knows it's rhetorical, so he doesn't speak. "Because I felt like shit leaving, knowing that you think I'm better at being gone than helping you when you're upset. I couldn't even think about sleeping with someone else when my friend was sitting at the bar dealing with whatever shit was flying through your head seemingly all by yourself. Because of course Dean wouldn't push you too far unless you were in danger."

And Sam thinks about how Dean hadn't chased him down when he left the bar, and finds himself a bit surprised at how much you pay attention to them both.

"Which meant if you weren't in danger, you wouldn't tell him shit. You'd bottle it up and try to deal with it alone. And I thought how fucked up of me to be thinking about sex when you were obviously really fucked up over something." you huff. "But now, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I was stupid for getting myself in a position where I care so much about two people who time and time again prove to everyone in their fucking circumference that we're better off leaving you two the fuck alone." you proceed, and Sam's as defensive as ever now. Face growing warm in anger.

"You knew what you were getting into when you decided to tag along." Sam retorts like a child. "Nobody's holding you hostage. Nobody is keeping you here against your will, okay? If we're that horrible to endure than leave. We'll be fine without you, we always are." Sam insists, and you scoff again, this one more disbelieving than the other. "No, I'm serious. You're never around after hunts anyway. If you're so eager to get away from us, if we're too much for you, than why torment yourself any longer? Go."

"Screw you, Sam."

"Screw me? How could this possibly be on me?"

"You're trying so hard to make this my idea." you snap. "But it's not, Sam. I'm still here. Don't you think if I wanted to leave you and your brother to rot that I could've several times over? Despite what you may believe, I have enough self respect to leave a situation I don't want to be in. You're the one being a moody jackass that can't grow the hell up and say what he feels." and you catch yourself. "And excuse me if sometimes I want a chance to feel like a regular fucking person." you proceed. "It's not like the odds of a hunter falling in love and living some cookie cutter life are high."

Sam blinks at that reminder.

"So don't make me feel like shit because you're too scared to let yourself feel even a semblance of normalcy for once." You're turning again, letting yourself lean back against the wall as you down all that's left inside the flask.

"I'm sorry." Sam exhales the words, guilt and aggravation rolling off of him in waves.

"Yeah, well you should be." you retort. "I'm not the enemy here, Sam. And despite what you seem to think of me, I'm not just itching to go off on my own and leave you two behind. You guys are my family. We're in this shit together." you remind him. "But not if you keep like this, Sam. I'm not going to let you push me away. At that point i'd just go." you admit, and it's the truth. The codependency that ran deep between Sam and Dean was not something you'd choose to take on. Even if the thought of leaving them felt like splitting your heart apart and stomping on it, you had to love yourself more.

"I'm not trying to push you away." he insists, and your eyebrow jumps.

"Could have fooled me." you reply and Sam huffs.

"I'm a jackass, okay? I never should have-" and he thinks it was way easier expressing himself back at the bar with Dean. "I shouldn't have said any of it." and it's true, even though it was a constant thought. But that wasn't your problem, his personal issues with being abandoned or better put unstable as far as the people in his life were concerned. "Jesus." and the instant replay of every word he'd spewed at you guts him. Was he really that insecure? That filled to the brim with jealousy that he couldn't express his fears of losing you without lashing out and making you the villain.

God, he'd never felt more like John.

"Be honest with me." you demand. "What the hell's going on with you, Sammy? You're freaking me out, okay? What is it? Are you having nightmares again? More visions?"

"No." he denies plainly. "It's not like that." and while he did still have nightmares and visions, this had nothing to do with why he was in this particular situation with you.

"Then what? You know you can tell me anything."

"Not this."

"Well why not?" you press, and you feel annoyance flaring up again.

"I just can't, alright?"

"Oh, give me a fucking break, Sam!" you sneer. "How can you apologize and then go right back to acting like this?" you say.

"Because I am sorry." he promises. "I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. I'm sorry for what I said, and for talking to you like that, okay? It never should have happened. I shouldn't have ever said it. But this is personal. It's not something you can help."

"So, I'm just supposed to accept that it's always going to be like this?" and he thinks the answer is no. Just as soon as he gets over you, he can go back to normal. But he had no clue when that would be, or how long it would take. "Where you're angry at me?" you clarify, and Sam's immediately turning his stare to you.

"I'm not angry with you, Y/N."

"Then what is it? Are you-" you close your eyes and take in a breath when you start to yell again. "Sam, you have to give me something."

"Why can't you just accept that I can't tell you?" Sam questions as he straightens up, towering over you in the way he seemed to tower over everyone else. Still, you were older than him, intimidating in the way that a hard life seemed to make people. You match his stance, standing straighter as you glare up at him, and he glares down at you. "Why can't you just respect that and let me deal with this on my own?"

"Because I seem to be the only person getting affected by this little mood swing of yours." you remind him. "I'm the one getting the smart remarks, and the attitude, and the cold fucking shoulder. Not Dean, and not anybody else. So obviously your funky attitude has something to do with how you feel about me. So what is it? What did I do?" you ask, and you know you're treading dangerous territory, but you never cared. Angry or not, this was still Sam, your Sam, which meant you'd get him to crack eventually. You were more determined than most.

"You infuriate me!" he finally exclaims. "That's it." he adds, as you stare slack jawed. "You take up space, and make every part of my life difficult. When it was just me and Dean, he was the only thing I had to worry about. I looked out for him, and he looked out for me, and that was it. But then you showed up and you made it so easy to care about you. But now it's not just as simple as caring about you. It's not like Jo and Ellen and Ash where we're like partners. It's not like with Bobby, who's family. Because while I care about them no part of me harps on keeping them safe 24/7."

It takes you a second to recover from his initial words, as the rest spills out of him like a faucet, you find yourself shuffling away from Sam. "But that's all I can think about with you. Making sure you're safe, taking care of you. And sure, Dean thinks about it too, but it's different. It's always been different. And I haven't felt this way since Jess, so that's why it's-it's easier to make you want to leave than handle you deciding one day that you're done with us and disappearing. So I'm sorry, okay? It's not your problem, it's mine." he tells you, and you think you've never been more lightheated.

"And I'll work on it. I'll get better, it'll be okay, and we'll go back to normal eventually. But until I can get a lock on this, on how I feel, I can't be okay with you running off and being with someone new when I want you the way that I want you. But I'd never tell you what to do, or how to cope. So I don't say anything. I never say anything." he breathes the words out and they're painted with aggression and heartache, and it makes your stomach flip in the worst way. "Are you happy now?"

"Sammy..."

"I don't need you to feel bad for me, but now you see why I didn't want to talk about it."

"Sam, you're a coward." you huff out, and he exhales.

"I know."

"And you can't just- you can't just lash out on me... or anyone else just because you have feelings you don't understand." you lecture him.

"I understand my feelings perfectly, Y/N. That's what you and Dean don't ever seem to understand. I know exactly how I feel, and I know exactly what lengths I'd go to." he tells you more seriously than he's been all night.

"What lengths?"

"To protect you, to make sure you were okay. It's not something as simple as me just... wanting to get a few rocks off. Or because we're stuck on the road together, and you're just some pretty girl. I've never had a doubt in my mind that my brother would go to the ends of the world for me. And I'd do the same thing for him." he tells you, and you already knew that. "But now you're included in that. You're someone I take account of, and the things I'd do for you they're not normal, they're not okay."

"Sam..."

"Look, I never said you had to feel the same way. You're the one that pushed. You're the one that asked to know what you did."

"Sammy? You out here?" you both stall at the familiar sound of Dean, who's instantly looking between the both of you with a mixture of relief and curiosity on his face. "What's this? We throwing a party back here?" he questions as you snort out a laugh.

"Hardly." you retort. "You're packing it in early." you comment as Dean offers you a smirk that's so Dean.

"I could say the same for you." and then he's looking to Sam with a knowing glance on his face. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No." Sam says instantly, and Dean looks to you.

"Yes."

"Guess the Ayes have it." he whistles at his brother's expense, clapping him on the shoulder again, as he tosses the keys to Baby up in the air before catching them in his hands. "If you guys aren't done in ten, I'm leaving your asses." and you know he's mostly joking, but still, you feel a flower bomb of appreciation exploding in your chest.

"Wait, De-" Sam starts, only to be ignored as Dean tosses the keys up in the air once more, catching them as he strides off, almost as quickly as he showed up, and Sam's turning to you with a questioning and pensive look on his face. "I don't really see what else there is to talk about." Sam says as you poke him roughly in the chest.

"Cut the crap, Sam. You're not the only person allowed to talk here, alright?" you tell him, and his eyes roll. "Were you even going to give me a chance to say anything back?" you question.

"What's the use, I already know what you're going to say." he tries, and you snort.

"You're a coward, Sam Winchester."

"I think we already covered that." he says dryly, as you shake your head.

"Why didn't you ever say anything? About how you feel?" you pry.

"You said it yourself. Hunters don't get to fall in love and live a cookie cutter life." he reminds you and you shake your head again.

"But you didn't even give me a chance to decide if I even wanted to try. What were you going to do? Ice me out until you forced yourself to feel differently for me? You're that determined to die with your pride?"

"It's not about pride. It's about being realistic, it's not like you ever gave me any sort of indication that feeling this way was alright."

"Sam, you're allowed to feel however you want. It's not my job to tell you if the way you feel for me is okay, because it is." you retort. "Even if I didn't feel the same way." you remind him, as his face seems to tinge with embarrassment. "Lucky enough for you though, doofus. I think there's worse things in the world than having feelings for a Winchester." and it takes it a moment to register on Sam's face, his eyes widening.

"What?"

"Look. I'm not saying it's true love, okay? All the shit we've seen, I don't know if humankind was lucky enough to earn it. But I do know that you're so important to me. Important enough to put everyone else on the backburner. I thought it was clear enough that I love you, Sam. What I don't understand is why you were so scared to tell me the truth." you admit as Sam lets your words float around him like a wave.

"I was scared you'd leave." he admits plainly.

"Sometimes I get scared of that too. That one day you'll both vanish right out of my life." you admit, and it squeezes Sam's heart in his chest. "Maybe that feeling will never fully go away, we can't ever say what'll happen in the future. But I do know that I'm here now." you tell him and you reach out and grab his hand. "And you're here now, okay? So why don't we let that be enough for us for now. If that's what you want." you offer, and Sam looks at you, really looks at you, and thinks he'll love you forever. Almost as much as he hates you for running his mind like it was your own.

"I do. I want that."

"Okay." you squeeze his hand gently. "So can we try again? Without the theatrics and the yelling this time. Just- just tell me what you'd want from me, Sammy."

"I want to be with you." he says it so hurriedly, you can't fight your little smirk. "And I don't know how long it'll last, but I know I'll try for as long as I can to make it work. I know we can't exactly have... an apple-pie life, but- I could be whatever you need me to be. I just know all this hunting stuff, saving people stuff makes a lot more sense when you're doing it with me, okay? And I don't want to lose that-" you don't leave room for much else, tugging him towards you and pouring every bit of how much you care about him into the way you kiss him.

Instantly, he's picking you up by the thighs, letting them wrap around his hips as he kisses you back feverishly. It's almost dizzying, especially as your head smacks the brick wall of the bar, your hands flying from his face, to his hair, and back down again. He thinks he could kiss you forever, and you think you could quite quickly learn to believe in true love. It wasn't conventional, but you knew you'd love him forever, almost as much as you hated him for controlling the beat of your heart as if it was his own.

You were certain if the desperation grew any thicker you'd both be stripped bare right there in the open, but the obnoxious honk, honk, honk of Dean from the driver's seat of the impala pulls you both apart like you'd been electrocuted. "Get a room!" he exclaims, face covered in fax disgust as Sam's hands squeeze politely at your hips as you stare up at him.

"At least we don't have to have the talk with your brother." you offer sheepishly.

"Oh, he'll find a way to force the talk." Sam retorts as you both chuckle nervously. Since you'd met there had always been a difference in the way you were with Dean, and the way you were with Sam, and you think that this new turn in your relationship with Sam would come with a lot of hard work, a lot of work that you'd normally never be inclined to give a chance. But as Sam gingerly places you back on two feet, and you find your knees wobbling just slightly as he nods his head towards the impala, that you would much like he insisted: go to the ends of the world [and everything in between] just to get back to him. which meant in the grand scheme of things, that even if things romantically ended horribly wrong, Sam Winchester was a good risk.

One you'd gladly make for the rest of your life.

Even if he didn't know it yet.

[scraftyisthebest]

You know, thinking about the future of Horizons. There's already a lot of talk about Spinel and how he has taken over the Explorers and Exceed, and has the Six Heroes in custody. He's our new main villain and he's a threat to both Amethio and Liko now because he's taken over Exceed and thereby threatens the good side of Gibeon's legacy and Amethio's place in it, and he's framed the RVT as outlaws and criminals, and they're Liko's found family, all the while he has the Six Heroes captive and is able to manipulate them with Laquium, thereby he also poses a threat to tarnishing Lucius's legacy as much as Gibeon's.

But I'd really like to see more of Chalce in the future. With what's been recently revealed, she's had the least amount of screen time and the least amount of time to show her personality and character, but her presence creates an interesting dynamic.

Particularly with Coral and Sidian. They're evidently decent people deep down, even though Coral has an attitude problem and Sidian is there to keep her in line. They both have expressed throughout the show that they don't like Spinel very much and take issues with his maniacal, downright vile behavior, drawing a line in the sand with his nefarious actions. Yet the main presence keeping them "obedient" to him and preventing them from fully opposing him is Chalce. Despite their disdain for Spinel, they trust Chalce and seem to be very close with her, and that is despite the fact that at least outwardly, she seems to be in cahoots with Spinel and working with him as a partner-in-crime. I have to wonder why they seem to be close with Chalce to the point of trusting her, so much so that they're willing to obey her orders even if they're from Spinel, who they dislike, simply because it's Chalce they're working with.

It sort of makes sense with what Hamber revealed to Zirc and Onia back at Amethio's mansion, that after he became Gibeon's butler and second-in-command, he trained up four of the Explorers admins in a certain order: Amethio, then Coral, then Sidian, then Chalce. Spinel was the exception, as he was not trained up by Hamber but rather was an Exceed scientist who sucked up to Gibeon and "won" over his approval. Spinel was always the odd one out from the very beginning.

It shows in a lot of the relationships between the admins. Amethio openly despises Spinel and the two have a bitter rivalry. Coral and Sidian seem to actually like Amethio, and they were willing to hear him out when Spinel tried to frame him, and they felt bad whenever Spinel excluded Amethio from missions. Meanwhile, as I said, they both openly dislike Spinel and take any chance to mock his failures or try to call him out on his downright vile and immoral actions. Chalce on the other hand stands out: she's working with Spinel and acting as his partner-in-crime, and doesn't show open distaste towards him like Amethio, Coral, and Sidian do. Yet the fact that she was one of the four trained by Hamber, and after the former three, shows in how close Coral and Sidian seem to be with her. Coral and Sidian are evidently caught in a dichotomy because of Chalce: they dislike Spinel and find him despicable, yet they don't fully oppose him because of Chalce, who on the other hand they trust. They probably formed a close relationship with her as fellow admins trained up by Hamber, and her in turn with them.

Spinel is on the inverse in that his unique circumstances as to how he became admin shows relative to them. Besides pretending to be Gibeon's yes-man then betraying him with the intent of overthrowing him and trying to stain his legacy (which so far, he is succeeding at), he openly treats his fellow admins as though they are beneath him. He intended to get rid of Amethio in hopes of claiming what he believes is his rightful place as Gibeon's heir, and his recent actions are him snapping after Gibeon reconciled with Amethio and entrusted his legacy to him, before passing on. Despite Coral and Sidian's disgust with him, Chalce kept them in line. He has kept Coral, Sidian, and Chalce around and have them serve him: Coral and Sidian openly express their reluctance, yet Chalce at least outwardly seems to be cooperating with him willingly. Spinel sees them as tools for his nefarious goals: he does not care about any of the three of them. He openly admits to Friede's face "I am simply using them", referring to all three of Coral, Sidian, and Chalce.

I wonder why Chalce is acting so loyal to Spinel. Is she actually loyal to him for a reason, or is she using him herself and trying to outplay him at his own game? The fact that Sidian and Coral trust her and are close to her suggests there's more to her than she outright expresses, and that they don't see her as downright despicable like they do with Spinel. It would make sense if she was trying to outplay him at his own game to take him down herself, considering she's very obviously an intellectual and quite smart, with a lot of talent and knowledge in research and technology. If that's what's happening, that would be interesting.

Among the four who Hamber raised up and trained, Amethio has already openly expressed his disdain for Spinel and the two are enemies. Coral and Sidian take issue with him too but Chalce is keeping them obedient to him, and outwardly she acts supportive of Spinel. Coral and Sidian will hopefully at some point be convinced to cut their losses and side with Amethio and Hamber since they like Amethio and do have some loyalty to Hamber, who trusts them even though they are "troublemakers", but then there's Chalce, who has Coral and Sidian's trust. What exactly is her ultimate aim and why is she so unique in this regard? Does she also oppose Spinel deep down, but pretends to be his cooperator in order to manipulate him and outplay him in a game of 3D chess?

That would be quite an interesting twist. Spinel sees Chalce, Coral, and Sidian as his submissive servants who will do his bidding and help him do his nefarious deeds, but if not only Coral and Sidian defect and help Amethio and Hamber depose him, but also Chalce is revealed to have been outplaying him the whole time and subtly beat him in 3D chess, ultimately helping to overthrow him in a sneaky, nefarious way, that would make Spinel have a complete and utter meltdown over realizing he never truly had control over her, much less Coral, Sidian, and Amethio to begin with and the rest of the Explorers had him beat. Considering his love for exerting control over everything, realizing Chalce had gained the upper hand on him in such a scenario would be a devastating blow to his ego. Of course, that's speculation, but also a possibility putting everything together.

Just a lot of thoughts about Chalce after all this.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 [Intro]

Hearts can get hurt so easily in this cruel world. But maybe it's time he opens his own up for someone else.

Tags/Warnings: Non-Idol Jungkook, Dog Hybrid!Reader, former criminal!Jungkook, mentions of past neglect/abuse, reader has some pretty bad psychological problems (OCD, Anxiety, Selective mutism, hints at an eating disorder), hypersomnia, old to recovery, hurt and lots of comfort, angst, Jungkook has some problems with aggression and swears a lot, more TBA in future chapters

Length: 2k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: Boo. Also you can have early access to this and other selected fics on my Patreon!

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"You might've noticed the color of their collars." the worker says, barely pulling Jungkook away so an excited Hybrid boy runs past- and not into- him. "They all have a specific meaning for us. Over there, the brown ones-" she points, and while Jungkook looks disinterested, he's acgually actively listening. "They're healthy and don't have any physical or behavioral issues, and can therefore be adopted with no limitations. Over there, black, that means the young hybrid has been taken in because the former owners have passed away. He's gonna keep wearing that color until he decides that he's done mourning." the worker explains as she walks around the main 'Social Area' of the shelter.

There's a couple of hybrids sitting together on the floor, all bunnies he notices- and all wear the same colored collar. "Pink means they're on medications. The tags on their collars show which one's." she says when she notices Jungkook looking at the small group. "Yellow means severe behavioral problems. This young boy, for example, has bad anxiety." the worker explains as they walk a bit further.

"...and green?" he mumbles, unable to mask his interest.

"Physical disability." she says softly, as the girl talking to the yellow collared boy shifts a little, one leg replaced by a prosthetic below the knee. "You'll get used to it, don't worry. They adapt quickly and tend not to really care about it." the worker reassures when she spots the slight shift in Jungkooks gaze.

Once they sit down, he signs some papers before the worker leaves him for a moment to get an employee badge for him. He's busy resting his face on his hand, already painfully bored of it all- he's gonna be watched the entire shift he needs to work for the next few months anyway, because considering that his crimes include violence, there's no way they'll trust him to handle any of these hybrids alone.

It's when he notices someone asleep in the corner of the social area, wearing a bright red collar.

"Alright, this vest should fit you, you can just put that over your regular clothes. Those plastic coverings go over your shoes so you don't bring any dirt in. And this-" she offers a plastic card with a clip. "-goes somewhere we can clearly see it. Alright?" she beams, and Jungkook nods.

"Hey uh -" he wonders, gaining the employee's attention. "What do red collars mean?" he wonders, and somehow, her entire posture and expression change slightly.

"Ah.." she sighs sadly. "...those are non-adoptable hybrids. They're basically permanently homed here for the rest of their lifes." she explains.

"So they just.. stay here forever?" he wonders, and she nods.

"Their status is checked every year, but almost all red one's we have tend to not show any improvements after getting here." she says, sorting the papers he'd signed earlier. "terminal illnesses, severe disability or extreme behavioral problems can put someone in the red category. Most never get out."

"Whats with her?" he asks before he can stop himself, nodding towards where you sleep near a window, facing away from everyone.

"..has been here for four years now. She doesn't talk, mostly sleeps, and doesn't like physical contact. Also has OCD- she only eats one specific brand of hybrid food her old owner forced her to eat, and is convinced that if she looks someone in the eyes, they will die." she explains. "She's been here since I've started working here. Very sweet if you look past all her issues- but I agree that she's not fit for a regular home."

Jungkook doesn't answer.

He doesn't even want to attempt to imagine what you must've gone through to end in a situation like this. It had always pissed him off how most hybrids were treated by society- the whole system royally fucked up in his opinion, but then again, he's not a picture perfect citizen either.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be here.

"Alright then, let's go into the kitchens!" the worker snaps him out of his mind, leading him away from the social area.

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"Do you want to bring it to her?" Hana, the worker, asks him when she notices him looking at you again.

"I- uh.. Do you think that's a good idea?" he mumbles almost, cringing a little at the food they've put in a bowl for you - looking like dry cereal, if anything - more so like plain dog food. But then again, if that's what you chose, he shouldn't judge too much.

Though he can't help but feel like in a span of four years, how come no one has ever managed to at least get you to accept decent food?

Hana waves him off. "Just place it close to her and maybe sit with her. You can take a break until she's done and bring the dish back." she just says, before walking off to handle the other hybrids who're still waiting for their lunch.

Jungkook sighs, walking towards you with the bowl and his own lunch in hands, carefully getting closer to where you're sitting in front of the window. Your back is turned towards him, and your tail limp on the floor. While you don't move, he can see your ears turn towards him.

He knows they just told him to sit with you so they don't have to look after him like a kid.

"Uh- here." he mumbles, putting the bowl close to you. At first, you don't react at all- and he's fine with that, quite honestly. He just starts to eat his own meal, breaking the chopsticks apart before digging in, while you simply pull the bowl closer, taking a handful of hybrid pellets. "Does that even taste of anything?" he mumbles more or less, and he notices a slight stutter in your movements, signaling that you're definitely aware of his words directed at you.

He notices how you put a singular pellet close to him without turning around - offering it in a way, and Jungkook doesn't know what to think of it. But, being curious as ever, he doesn't hesitate to eat the bland looking ball of whatever it might be.

It tastes just as bland as it looks.

"Damn, what the hell.." he cringes a little before looking your way. "You do know there's other options than.. That, right?" Jungkook offers - but you shake your head at that. "No one's gonna bite the dust if you have something decent to eat." he shrugs to himself, rather indulging in his lunch to get the weird taste from his tongue.

All of this just makes him all the more upset at whoever forced you into such a state.

Taehyung is a dog hybrid too, after all. And somewhat the reason he's forced to do this whole social work shit at all- considering that Jungkook broke someone's collarbone for tying his best friend by the neck and leaving him in a yard just for the fun of it.

Just because he's a hybrid.

You wave a little with your hand, apparently trying to signal that he can leave- but he just stretches out his legs, lays on his back and rests his head on his arms, before closing his eyes. "Poke me when you're done eating or something." he just shrugs and doesn't notice that you take the chance of his closed eyes to look at his face.

He looks young, but mature at the same time. There's a butterfly stitch on his eyebrow, the other side decorated with a silver piercing. His lip seems like it had had some injury too recently- but it too is sporting a silver piercing, the ring sitting simple on the skin, yet the effect of it is undeniable. There's a softness to his face, and yet, taking all the features in, you can spot some rough edges here and there.

You wonder if he has many friends.

He seems a bit grumpy but nice, nonetheless. No one's ever attempted to try your food, let alone be so direct in trying to convince you of letting go of this old habit. You're not stupid. You know no one's gonna die if you eat something else. It's simply your body that doesn't seem to get the memo. It's there every time, vividly in your head. If you eat something other than this, someone's going to get mad.

And You don't trust anyone in this place.

Not after attempting to try a tiny piece of leftover cheese from the table, just for a tiger hybrid to angrily snarl at you. It's always your fault in the end, it's always you who has to take the blame, because if you can't talk, how can you stand up for yourself, explain yourself? No one wants to listen to you anyways.

You poke the dozing new guy. His name tag reads 'Jeon Jungkook'.

He wakes up, yawns. Stretches his arms, his legs, sits up and looks your way. You only look at his neck, barely able to see his mouth move as he speaks. "Done?" he mumbles, and you shrug, pushing your leftovers back towards him. "Come on. I know it tastes like shit but that's all you can eat?" he asks, and you shrug again. Why does he care how much you eat? "Here." He scoots a bit closer. "half of that. At least. Eat that or my leftovers." he offers, threatens almost, unable to push you off to the side like everyone else apparently does. He just sees so much of Jimin in you; his best buddy's hybrid, a rescue as well. And while Jungkook isn't as gentle as Yoongi was with Jimin when the cat hybrid was in his phase of recovery, he still can't ever shake off the images, the scenes he'd witnessed back in the day.

He fucking hates how some people treat hybrids.

And maybe that's why he stays until you've eaten as much as you can, shaking your head at some point stubbornly before shoving the bowl back towards him. He chuckles, the sound making your ears snap towards him, curled tail shaking a little bit, like it wants to wag but can't quite get over the fear to do so. "Good girl." he praises without thinking, barely snapping his hand back from almost petting your head out of instinct. He clears his throat.

Does he think you're weird now?

"Alright imma be out of your hair now." he says, before leaving you be, walking back towards the workers.

"Do you know her?" Hana asks, another worker just as curious as she seems to be standing next to her.

"No?" Jungkook says, suspicious of them as he raises an eyebrow, putting the bowl down to be washed after throwing your leftovers in the trash. "Why?" he wonders before Hana looks your way.

"Because that's the first time I've ever seen her tail wag."

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[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi RTA, check out The Times of London new, very long book excerpt about royal staffers for the British Royal Family. The article's title is "William, Andrew, Kate and Meghan: what the palace staff saw." I don't know how to archive it in a way that you prefer so I thought I would give you a heads up on what new stuff to read instead!

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/royal-family-william-kate-harry-meghan-courtiers-servants-zjvdkbkkd

Archived link

Some quotes:

…both King Charles and the Prince of Wales, Prince William, are prone to tantrums if things are not done to their liking. “They both get irritated very quickly,” one former member of staff said. “They are very picky. It comes naturally to them.” The source added, “I don’t know where William would be without Kate — she hasn’t had everything done for her throughout her life, so she calms him down when he gets a bit fractious. She said he sometimes has to be treated as her fourth child.”

Harry, though generally “one of the easiest and nicest” to work for, according to one staffer, was prone to flashes of irritation too. One of the prince’s former servants said, “I remember once in his private apartments I’d muddled something — some of his papers on the desk or something. He was immediately angry and it was out of proportion to the problem, or at least I thought it was. “We thought it was a bit rich complaining about me being muddled, given that Harry was probably the most muddled of all the royals of his generation. The joke used to be that Harry was very much like the Prince Regent in the Blackadder television series. People used to say that without a servant, Harry would take two weeks to put on his own trousers.”

Tension developed between William and Harry as a result of Meghan’s warm, friendly, hug-everyone approach. Kate, William and Charles tended to flinch when she moved in for a hug. Meghan was understandably hurt, as everyone apparently hugs everyone in California. Meghan even tried to hug a singularly stiff Old Etonian equerry. He too flinched as if she’d tried to poke him in the eye, as another member of staff put it. This tactile manner made William uncomfortable because Meghan hugged him virtually every time they bumped into each other; the hugging and cheek-kissing fuelled gossip among the staff that Meghan was flirting with William, which she was obviously not, but the tense atmosphere caused by all the touchy-feeliness (and the resultant gossip) deepened the rift between the brothers.

Meghan felt that Harry was too deferential both to his family and to the people who worked for them as a couple. She didn’t like the fact that Harry tended to ask staff if they would mind tidying up or bringing something to him. With her American background, she felt when you pay people to do something, you just issue commands, and that Harry should just issue commands as she did.

One of Harry’s senior aides, now retired, said, “We had meetings about events Harry was planning to attend and I increasingly got the feeling his mind was elsewhere… It was as if his job now was not to attend events, which is what the senior royals always do as their core activity; instead he saw his core activity as being with Meghan and increasingly adopting her views of the world. Some people would say he was just being a loyal husband, but the team, the staff, found the whole thing baffling.”

“She really did have a messiah complex,” one of the couple’s former staffers said, pointing out how Meghan was focused on how she could become the best-known and most loved member of the royal family. “I don’t mean that in a critical way because all her big ideas were about doing good. She once said, ‘What Diana started, I want to finish,’ and we took that to mean she wanted to become a sort of globetrotting champion of the poor and the marginalised. She has managed to do this to some extent, but she really wanted to do it as a princess and with the full backing of the royal family, but on a part-time basis.”

One source said Meghan thought Kate was “just too eager to please, too much a goody-two-shoes girl”. Yet Kate did manage to negotiate difficult matters with staff and family relationships. The answer as to how is summed up neatly by a former member of the Kensington Palace staff. “Kate is someone who slowly and carefully absorbs the atmosphere of a place, the relationship between people and the rules. She doesn’t jump in straight away and try to change everything to suit her way of thinking. She bides her time and is very intelligent and intuitive about other people, what they do and how they behave. She was also coached — not just by William, who wanted Kate to avoid the problems his mother had encountered, but also by the staff. “Kate was always happy to accept advice both from the lower staff, with whom she got on very well, and from the courtiers, even though some of them were initially very snooty about her. “It was the same kind of backbiting gossipy criticism that Meghan had to put up with, but Kate is actually a much stronger person than Meghan in many ways. Yet what Meghan saw as Kate being pushed around, Kate saw as an essential part of being a member of the royal family.” They added, “Kate’s view of Meghan was always implied rather than spoken, I think. It was that Meghan thought she knew better than an institution that had been in business for 1,000 years and more. Kate was never going to buy that.”

and

The irony, given all that has been written about Harry being the “spare”, is that at Kensington Palace, it was clearly Meghan who felt she could not find her place; she too was a spare.

[mariacallous]

Those of us who follow Donald Trump’s rhetoric on health care closely know that he has always talked about protecting Medicare while never mentioning Medicaid.

That changed this week, in the Trumpiest way possible.

The program that pays medical bills for more than 70 million low-income Americans has long been a target for Republicans looking to downsize or eliminate federal programs, especially those serving the poor. Trump’s past silence has felt like a reminder that he too wanted to strip funds from the program ― or, at least, that he had no problem with doing so.

Trump certainly seemed to support Medicaid cuts in 2017, when he was pushing hard for legislation to repeal the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare. Had that legislation passed, it would have slashed Medicaid and, in the process, deprived millions of health insurance.

But on Tuesday, while appearing with adviser Elon Musk on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show, Trump actually mentioned Medicaid ― and said, quite plainly, that he did not plan to cut it. “Medicare, Medicaid, none of that stuff is going to be touched,” Trump said.

That was big news, and timely too, because House Republicans are right now moving forward with a budget plan that will likely include precisely the sort of Medicaid cuts Trump was saying he wouldn’t support.

Or would he?

On Wednesday, literally one day later, Trump wrote a social media post in which he endorsed the House budget and said he preferred it to the Senate alternative ― which, among other things, does not have Medicaid cuts.

The apparent reversal confused everyone, including some reporters at Politico who queried the White House. They were seeking clarification. They didn’t get it, because the press office sent two statements ― one promising Trump would protect Medicare and Medicaid and then, just a few hours later, an “updated” version that was conspicuously missing the Medicaid reference.

There’s nothing new about Trump making wildly inconsistent statements, or his staff tripping over themselves to explain what the boss really thinks on a vital issue. Quite possibly they don’t know, and quite possibly Trump himself doesn’t know, given how little interest he often shows in policy. It would frankly be a surprise if Trump understood the program well enough to have a strong opinion.

But that also suggests he has no commitment to protecting Medicaid, which could leave it vulnerable to major cuts as Republicans search desperately for ways to offset their proposed tax reductions.

Medicaid is the fourth-biggest spending item in the federal budget. And unlike the three items ahead of it (Social Security, Medicare, defense spending) it serves poor people exclusively. Historically, those sorts of programs have been the toughest to defend against legislators eager to slash funds.

But Trump’s rhetorical shifts this week tell us something else, too: He understands Medicaid matters to a lot of people. That could be the key to saving the program, if its defenders act in time.

How Medicaid Became Popular

Medicaid is in many respects the accidental child of America’s health care system. It was practically an afterthought in the debate leading up to enactment of the 1965 Social Security amendments, whose centerpiece was the creation of Medicare, the federal health insurance program for the elderly.

When Lyndon Johnson signed the bill into law, Medicaid didn’t even make the front page in the New York Times coverage, as veteran health care journalist Joanne Kenen noted recently in Politico.

But in the ensuing decades, creative and determined supporters like the former Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), found ways to expand it to cover ever more services and ever more categories of people. The biggest single expansion came in 2010, when the Affordable Care Act gave states the money to cover anybody with income below or just above the poverty line.

Most states have now done that, and it’s the single biggest reason the percentage of Americans without health insurance has reached historic lows.

That growth has also drawn the ire of conservative Republicans, who have said Medicaid puts too big a burden on the taxpayers ― and who see it as an inefficient welfare program that discourages poor people from working. Efforts to reduce and cap the federal government’s financial commitment to Medicaid date back to the Reagan era. And they nearly succeeded in 2017, when Republicans came close to actually repealing the Affordable Care Act.

That was also the moment when the program’s surprising political resilience became clear. The GOP proposals provoked an outcry from people who stood to lose coverage ― not just working adults, but also senior citizens and people with disabilities, many of whom rely on Medicaid to pay for home care or nursing homes.

That coalition today is, if anything, bigger than it was back then. Something like two-thirds of Americans have been on Medicaid or have a family member who has been, according to surveys from the research organization KFF. It has also become a financial lifeline for the health care industry, especially hospitals that serve large numbers of low-income residents.

Not coincidentally, Medicaid is seen favorably by the majority of Americans — and even the majority of Republicans — according to KFF polling. And cuts could hit disproportionately hard in areas that tend to support Trump.

How Republicans Are Targeting Medicaid

Republicans understand this, and not just in the White House. Longtime Trump supporter and MAGA leader Steve Bannon warned during a Fox News interview last week that “Medicaid is going to be a complicated one. You just can’t take a meat ax to it, although I would love to.”

Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) went even further this week, telling HuffPost’s Igor Bobic that “I don’t like the idea of massive Medicaid cuts.” A day later, eight moderate House Republicans wrote a letter to Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) warning that “slashing Medicaid would have serious consequences, particularly in rural and predominantly Hispanic communities where hospitals and nursing homes are already struggling to keep their doors open.”

Nobody who has watched Republicans grumble about the lack of qualifications for Trump nominees and then vote to confirm them anyway would be surprised to see these same lawmakers vote for Medicaid cuts if a bill is put in front of them. And GOP leaders are already laying the rhetorical groundwork, saying their target is waste, inefficiency and abuse — something Trump has mentioned in his statements, as well.

Convoluted, duplicative and sometimes downright illegal payment arrangements are pretty much endemic to American health care, public and private. Medicaid is no exception. And although “waste” is a broad category that includes a lot of meaningless documentation errors ― as the left-leaning Center on Budget and Policy Priorities has noted ― it also includes funding schemes some states use to draw extra federal matching funds without putting up more of their own.

One of the Medicaid changes Republicans are discussing now would seek to end those practices. The Paragon Institute, a conservative organization that supports the proposal, has noted that Barack Obama proposed a version during his presidency.

But Obama did so in a very different time, and in the context of a proposal designed to expand health coverage overall. That does not seem to be the objective of Republicans in Congress, who also want to tie Medicaid eligibility to employment status. These “work requirements” don’t actually get more people to work, research has shown repeatedly. But they make the verification process so cumbersome that lots of eligible people end up losing coverage.

And whatever the reality and merits of these GOP efforts to reduce waste and fraud, getting the savings they need would inevitably require even bigger changes to the program ― the kinds of sweeping cuts that the public has clearly rejected in the past.

That’s especially true because, as several budget experts have noted, the proposals Republicans have floated would interact with each other in ways that would likely produce even fewer savings than their public budget documents predict.

“There’s not a pile of Medicaid dollars sitting in a corner labeled ‘waste, fraud, and abuse,’ “ Adrianna McIntyre, a professor at the Harvard School of Public Health, told HuffPost. “Steep cuts to the program will ultimately mean some combination of fewer people insured, fewer benefits covered, and lower payments to doctors and hospitals.”

How The Politics Could Shake Out

How this all registers politically remains to be seen. The backlash in 2017 mattered because Democrats and their allies made it matter, especially at the grassroots. They fired off letters and emails and flooded the phone lines of congressional offices. And they showed up in person, through protests at town hall meetings — and eventually on Capitol Hill, too.

The backlash was all over the media, and the impact lasted. The GOP took a beating in the subsequent midterm elections, losing control of the House. Analysts think the backlash to the Obamacare repeal attempt was a big factor in that.

Saving Medicaid now might take a similar effort. But this time around, there’s an added layer of complication: The program’s defenders can’t count upon traditional media to carry their message to lawmakers — or to the public. Going viral on Instagram or TikTok may count as much as, if not more than, getting a story on the local news. And lately Republicans and their supporters have seemed more adept at deploying social media than Democrats.

But the defenders of Medicaid still have a lot going for them, too, even beyond the large and growing number of people who have first-hand knowledge of ― and appreciation for ― what the program provides. Health care is among the issues where voters traditionally trust Democrats more than Republicans.

There’s a reason for that: Democrats have always been the party fighting to expand and defend government programs that help people get health care, while Republicans have always been the party resisting those efforts ― and trying to roll back the programs already in place. That’s as true now as it’s ever been. The future of Medicaid could depend on making sure the public realizes it.

[thecountoflondonfansite]

Henry felt devastated for his oldest friend. "That's absolutely horrible. I can't possibly imagine what Robert is going through. Even though he had issues with his father, this would no doubt affect him greatly.” His heart ached for Robert. Having lost his father due to a murder. Who could've done that? Was it the same person who attempted to kill Mr. Danvers Carew with the fire which Hyde got framed for? “You said it seemed personal. Why do you say that, old friend?” The lawyer took a moment to answer. “The murder was grisly and there wasn't anything stolen from the crime scene. It sounded more than just a robbery gone wrong. If it was truly that, expensive items would've been missing yet it all remained. I'm honestly shocked that Robert never told you. You two were always so close. Practically inseparable from college.” Henry looked visibly uncomfortable and solemn due to what his friend had said. “Thank you for telling me this. I do hope Robert will tell me about this on his own time. I won't force him or rush him.” Gabriel nodded at that. “Are you going to tell him?” The teacher seemed hesitant to answer that. “I will, once he has his own problems sorted. I would rather not add onto his problems with my own.” While it was true, Henry also didn't want to make things more complicated for Robert. He knew that his best friend had HJ7 and possibly could have ingested it. Leading to his own soul being split. It would only stress him out which could lead to his possible version of Hyde to get better control over him. It would only serve as ammo Robert's counterpart could use against him. “That is quite understandable. You two have been through a lot. Also considering the incident with your former employee. Mr. Hyde. It's been so stressful for both of you.” Hyde felt nervous whenever Gabriel would mention him. It felt like he could so easily uncover who he truly was to Henry. It was why he never appeared around him either. It's not that they didn't trust him. Not at all. As crazy as Hyde thought he was, he didn't want to possibly lose a friend he technically never met. He actually liked Gabriel and knew that the lies Henry kept would hurt the man deeply. It was a shared fear between Henry and Edward. “Thank you for understanding that, Gabriel. Also thank you for helping me.” Gabriel offered him a warm smile. “Of course. I would do anything for my dearest friends.” It troubled Henry. Why didn't Robert say anything about his father? Yet again, Robert did keep it a secret that he had a vial of HJ7 too. Becky looked confused, she had known about the murder of Dr. Lanyons father before he did. She was sure he would've known. Before the young girl could think about it further, she heard a voice calling for her. It was her uncle's voice. She listened to him calling, luckily Gabriel was too occupied with Henry to notice that. She went over to her father and tugged at his sleeve. Making Dr.Two-Brains lean over so she could whisper into his ear. “Dad, Uncle Alan is calling me. It sounds really urgent, I'll be back as soon as possible.” The mad scientist seemed reluctant to let her leave but nodded. “Alright, please don't take too long. Be careful.” With that said, Becky left. The moment she was alone, checking to make sure it was safe, Becky transformed and flew straight to Alan's and Hugh's apartment. She wondered why he called for her instead of going there himself. It must've been something serious. When she arrived, Becky went to the apartment she knew they resided in. Giving the door a couple of knocks before it was answered by Alan. Behind him were the other three of the four. “Uncle Alan? What are the others doing here?” His expression remained stoic. “We wanted to tell you something. We need you to tell your dad to turn his phone on. We have urgent information to tell him. Something has happened. We need to tell him what as well as the information we gained from it.”

Becky looked alarmed at what her uncle had just said. "Does it have something to do with Dr. Barriton?" Becky inquired as she remembered her dad telling her about the blonde scientist. Becky never really met him since the guy was fired when she was a baby. Her dad did describe him as an absolute narcissus and prick who was Athena's cousin. Becky didn't hold it against anyone to be related to that psycho woman since her twin brother Eris was a good person. She held the man's character and lack of morals against him. Alan shook his head. "No, it wasn't Calvin. Have you heard any of the adults speak of a Lucian Bennett?" Alan asked his niece. Becky pondered the question a bit and shook her head. "Not really, no." She answered. "Who is he?" The four looked at each other, not really sure how to explain. Hugh decided to speak about the man and his encounter to a degree. "We are not entirely sure who Lucian is as a person, but we know he is like Edward Hyde. By that, I mean he is the counterpart of someone who took the HJ7 formula." Becky's eyes widened at Hugh's explanation. There was someone out there who had their own Mr. Hyde! "Does Dr. Jekyll know about Lucian?" Becky asked in an urgent tone. The others gave a nod. "Yeah, he is aware of Lucian. He is also aware of the man having his own variation of the HJ7 formula though he isn't entirely sure how it is possible." Jenkins explained. "Listen, Becky. We really need to get in touch with your dad. It's difficult to explain but Lucian had nearly gotten physical with Hugh. We need to tell your dad what we know and what happened. Alan couldn't fly to Henry's house since it would have caused some alarm and we know the others are still recovering from Athena's attack. That is why he contacted you." Patricia explained in a serious tone. Becky nodded as she understood the gravity of the situation. "Okay, I'll get my dad." The heroine then took off back to Dr. Jekyll's apartment. "Where did your daughter run off too?" Gabriel asked. "Oh, she remembered she had to go outside and call her uncle Alan and let him know she couldn't spend the night at his and Hugh's home this Friday since personal things came up." Dr Two Brains quickly explained. Utterson looked surprised at the response. "She had to take her phone call outside." The lawyer exclaimed with a slightly suspicious tone. Two Brains internally panicked. 'Why can't this guy be as dumb as the rest of the civilians in this city.' "Oh well it was special bonding family thing they had this weekend though Becky is no longer feeling up to it. She and her uncle Alan have unique traditions that are not meant for other ears to hear. It shouldn't take to long for Becky to speak with Alan." Two Brains exclaimed. Henry seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of his boyfriends' words and decided to help cover for him. "It's a strange but endearing characteristic that my boyfriend's family has. They like to keep their personal businesses private, even if it is just regular, family matters." Henry added. Gabriel looked a bit confused but quickly shook it off for now. "If you say so, Henry." He then turned to Dr. Two Brains. "So your brother is dating Dr. Mann?" Gabriel asked Two Brains shook his head. "No, Alan is dating Hugh, but he isn't my brother. He is technically my brother-in-law. He is Becky's mom's sibling." The mad scientist corrected. In what seemed to be a short amount of time, Becky returned inside. "Hey, kiddo. How did your talk with Uncle Alan go on the phone?" Dr. Two Brains inquired. Becky greeted her dad with a smile but Two Brains and Henry could tell that it was faked. "It went well, but he wanted me to let you know to turn on your phone. Hugh and the other four have been trying to reach you and see how you were doing." Becky respond. Two Brains looked embarrassed and quickly pulled out his phone to turn it on. His eyes widened as he saw the missed calls. "Oops. Sorry. I turned my phone off because I was having a conversation with Henry and didn't want to be disturbed." Two Brains exclaimed. @unhingedexperimenter

[enquire]

Kismet

I imagine anyone following this series could probably guess who I was doing next. Yep, it's Utsuro. This one was kind of interesting. I'm not super sure about the markings (they might be a little too complex? still thinking about it) and his hair was a pain to translate into pony form for me. No clue why he gave me more trouble, but I might end up changing that aspect later because it still feels a little off to me. Also, the markings are sort of part of his cutie mark, kind of like how Luna's is. I kinda wanted to give the vibe of his cutie mark being invasive/changing him. Like his coat has been symbolically tainted or burned from it. He always had some spots and freckles, but after he got his mark, the darker markings + patches/shadows over his flanks and legs appeared.

Anyway, let's get into things...

Kismet was an ordinary earth pony who lived with his family somewhere in Equestria. Like most ponies, he was excited to get his cutie mark, and curious about what it would be.

When an oddly foreboding black mark appeared on his flank one day, strangely accompanied by several new markings, at first, Kismet was just as overjoyed as any former blank flank would be.

However, as time passed, it became clear that Kismet's cutie mark was unique, to say the least. Because no matter what kind of trouble came his way, somehow, it would pass him by completely unharmed.

Good fortune and success followed him wherever he went. Kismet prevailed whenever he attempted anything, and those closet to him were often granted the same blessings.

Soon, everypony wanted to have Kismet around. In the beginning, Kismet was happy to suddenly have so many friends. But eventually, he began to realize that nopony wanted his companionship because they cared about him or enjoyed spending time together.

When a team wanted to win an important game of hoofball, they invited him. When his town's mayoral election came around, the two candidates fought for his support. And the few friends and family Kismet had cared about slowly began to treat him differently.

It shouldn't be a surprise, then, that Kismet came to see the mark as a curse. Once he realized the fortune tied to him was the root problem, he tried everything he could think of in order to make it stop. But no amount of bad luck charms or attempts to control it himself affected the endless good luck.

In the end, Kismet gave up entirely. He left his hometown behind, and started covering up his cutie mark and going by various aliases during his travels. (His current being "Sunset Shores," and using a cutie mark belonging to somepony too distant from him to have the identity theft be an issue)

He tried a few times during this period to start new lives for himself. But inevitably, his good luck would start affecting things around him and the ponies he had met. And in the end, the connection would be made between the two, and Kismet would quietly vanish.

Being alone was somehow more tolerable than being lonely while surrounded by others. So Kismet simply drifted from place to place, not making connections, and never allowing anyone to really get to know him.

On a few instances, his path led him to several other outcasts. Ponies who had nothing, were failures, or had nopony to trust or rely on. Kismet couldn't help but see himself in them. And the ways in which his fortune changed those ponies' fates were some of the only times Kismet ever felt anything positive about his mark.

Though after the connection was made, and things began to deteriorate, Kismet would disappear again. The gratitude and reverence was overwhelming. That being said, he never regretted them, and eventually, he came to realize that somewhere along the way, one pony whose path had crossed his was different. There was one pony who he had helped, who had seen what he was, and yet still saw him before any of the rest.

Perhaps that is why she, and she alone, was able to find him again. After traveling halfway across Equestria, the two of them met once more. And so, Kismet no longer travels alone.

Also, above are examples of what it looks like when he covers up his original cutie mark.

Right: "Sunset Shores" with Clover Shore's cutie mark. Left: Blank flank version. (he doesn't always bother with replacing it)

Last few notes: Kismet's fortune is probably a little different given the universe and how cutie marks work. It still makes his life miserable but doesn't necessarily completely drag the meaning from everything. At least not quite to the degree divine luck does. Just a *bit* less intense but still a curse.

And there isn't a despair cult, world-ending tragedy, nor any killing games in the works here, so there's that too...

[doberbutts]

i hope this isnt weird to say but i really appreciate your dobeposting, especially about the history & current disposition of the breed. my mom has had dobermans my whole life and it led me to kinda... really dislike them for years, her last three and current youngster all were/are so nervy and quick to bite unprovoked (thankfully the young girl is coming around pretty nicely, no actual aggressive bites, just still learning to take things gently)

anyway, getting to the point, reading you explain about the breed's history, who dobermann actually was & how they were created & what they were originally bred for, and the way unfortunately the temperament has gotten messy due to that mixing of people wanting dobes to be family pet dogs and one-person protection dogs at the same time, or just try to make them into a pet dog they just aren't cut out to be (my mom is very much one of the former lol) really helped me understand and appreciate the breed. my dad has american akitas, and imho they have a similar issue of people trying to breed them for social, cheery pet temperaments which just tends to go very badly for a very large, high aggression, high prey drive, not suited for the average suburbanite breed like them, and realizing dobermans basically have a kind of more severe extent of the same issue (albeit I'm oversimplifying here) really helped me understand them.

i dont think I'd ever choose to have one, but I've definitely got a lot more respect and appreciation from afar.

so, sorry for rambling and probably being repetitive, hope i made some kind of sense, just wanted to say thank you for being a great breed advocate :)

here's a dobe tax, my mom's ~18 month old little girl, kira. she looks like that because, from what the rescue told my mom, she was from a backyard breeder and had to be removed from her first two homes due to mistreatment. still manages to be a real sweetie most of the time

Hey thanks for the compliment and the dog tax!

It really sucks because I think dobermans can be fantastic pet dogs... to people who want a doberman and all that entails. But a lot of people in the outcross groups I'm griping about want something more like a gun dog or a retriever in a doberman costume, and it's very frustrating to explain again and again that that simply is not what a doberman is.

I'd be all for a doberman outcross that actually respects what a doberman is for! The problem is that there have been very few of those, and most of them started with junk and ended up fairly lackluster in what they produced because you can't shine a turd and call it gold.

Dobermans don't have to be nervy, loose cannon, fear aggressive, bite risk demons. My doberman is not! My doberman before him was scared, but that was largely a socialization problem caused by living 2 years of her life exclusively in a box, and she wasn't dangerous, she just shut down and shivered. My doberman before her wasn't like this. And my doberman before him was, but again with the known abuse in his background from being a court case dog it's likely that he didn't start out that way and didn't need to become that.

It is possible to have a doberman that is actually a really fun dog to have and be around. You just. Have to understand that they are a doberman. My best friend @khayr has a doberman that's a pet, that does not do any sort of protection work. Her dog is very safe to be around! She's a lovely creature and I think well matched to my buddy's needs. But! She's also a doberman! That means she doesn't like the mailman or the UPS drivers! It means when missionaries knock on her door, her dog throws a fit! It means when she's out late at night and someone rapidly approaches her, her dog puts herself between her and the oncoming stranger! Because she's a doberman! She's supposed to do that!

[johannestevans]

New notes on A Bite of Rope!

A Bite of Rope on Medium, on Patreon, and on Ao3. It will be available as an eBook for $1.99 (or with a free eBook voucher for Patreon subscribers) in the next few days!

---

An ex-soldier, Arthur "Kuhn" Conrad, now a debt collector of sorts for a corrupt company, can't sleep one night, and as he's walking the streets, sees a coworker   ̶  on a whim, he follows, and ends up in an underground club.

The older man, Ignatius Kasovitz, likes to tie people up, it seems, and Kuhn finds he wants to try being tied up, if it's Kasovitz doing the tying.

Set in London, circa 1953, in my Magic Beholden universe, readable as standalone. 15k, rated E, cis M/M.

Contains asexual kink and recreational power dynamics explored between two coworkers; age gap of approximately fifteen years between two middle-aged men; references and descriptions to clowns and the circus as well as vague criminal work; content warnings for references to grief and trauma as a result of the Shoah and deployment in WWII respectively, with discussions of Nazi death camps and POW camps. Mild antisemitism, classism, and more extreme period-typical homophobia and transphobia appear throughout, as well as references to attempted grooming and sex-averse attitudes.

The notes are about my process and what went into the story, and are advised for after you've read the story. It's my intention to include these notes in all new self-pubbed eBooks, so definitely let me know what you think!

The kernel of this idea started out a few months ago as an initial consideration for Issue 113: Nine To Five of the Shousetsu Bang*Bang, but the deadline for submission approached, arrived, and departed and I just could not make the concept work.

I later realised that my problem with the piece was that I was starting from the wrong point – originally beginning with their initial confrontation in Kasovitz’ office rather than on more even footing, out and about in London – and was able to revise the idea into something more workable.

Clowns and mimes have been on my mind a lot of late, ever since I bought a very pretty mirror decorated with a black and white portrait of a Pierrot figure several months ago, and while my ambition is still to explore a period piece or two with some commedia dell’arte performers, my recent research into commedia and the evolution of modern clown design and performance certainly factored into Kasovitz’ design.

Other likely inspirations for my working on this piece are the media I’ve recently been reading, watching, and playing – notably, I was recently inspired to reread the_ragnarok’s excellent AU Person of Interest fanfiction, out of the darkness we reach, when someone was asking about recommendations for good bondage exploration – Reese and Finch are favourite characters of mine, and this fanfic is a really fun exploration of their core motivations from a somewhat desexualised kink perspective; I’ve recently started Grantchester, a 1950s-set cop show with some exploration of WWII trauma, and the limerick Kasovitz quotes is an infamous one, but is recited several times in S2E5; and finally I’ve just started my fifth replay of Disco Elysium, which has some really complex and interesting explorations of trauma and stress response itself.

Grantchester has surprisingly complex and resonant explorations of flawed characters and their response to PTSD – Kuhn is not particularly inspired by, or really all that similar to the character of Geordie Keating, but I’ve really been enjoying the way the show explores his bigoted views and contrasts them with PTSD and his tenderness and affection for his wife and children without implying that the latter two somehow make the former less reprehensible or worthy of dismissal, and that enjoyment no doubt contributed to my design of his reflexive aggression towards queer people and others he doesn’t immediately understand, even whilst understanding on some level that he is amongst their number. Mrs G is not similar to Mrs Maguire in any way at all – I think Mrs M would spit on Mrs G if she so much as looked at her – but the naming convention and their circumstances post-war are of course paralleled.

I don’t think Kuhn is particularly similar to the character of Harrier du Bois in Disco, but what I’ve particularly been enjoying on my recent replays of the game has been the way the writers personify his various urges and instincts, and how that creates such deliciously unconventional layers of reliable and unreliable narration intertwined with one another – the ways in which Harry’s “skills” often sabotage or work against him were absolutely part of the vague inspiration for Kuhn’s own instincts to lash out and to bite, as well as the ways in which he dehumanises himself, even though the ways in which Kuhn and Harry dehumanise and sabotage themselves are materially different.

These notes are intended to be a new addition on my novellas and shorts particularly – my creative process is one that I don’t tend to immediately understand while it’s underway, but I know that some readers are interested in how a story develops before it reaches its completion, and I often notice when looking back through my work that they’re influenced thematically by other works I’m engaging with, whether that be television, music, theatre, art, etc, or other hobbies and research I’m exploring at the time, so I thought they’d provide an interesting additional lens of consideration for those that like that sort of thing, especially on a reread.

Thank you so much for reading and also for reviewing, if that’s something you have the time for!

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #32

Batgirl (2000) #14 writer: Puckett pencils: Scott

Different inker this time, John Lowe instead of Campanella. I'm not enough of a connoisseur of comic art to really notice the difference. Honestly, I've been favoring pencil art in this series in general and not really mentioning inker & colorist. Should I be crediting/calling those out specifically? Let me know.

Anyway, we're back to the main series. Last time Cass was riding high after saving a repentant assassin from government agents. It fit more or less right in with the sort of one shot story we've seen a few times in her series, so there really wasn't a reason to expect any follow up from it, though the tone was a notable break from the usual Batgirl benchmark somewhere between sombre and miserable. This time is a return to form.

Before we get into the issue, that note about the tone does tie into that DCWomenKickingAss post that's been making the rounds again recently (link), the one with the interview with Scott Peterson where he describes the original instructions he gave to Kelley Puckett for designing the new batgirl as:

“Hey, new Batgirl. Young–late teens, I think–and Asian. And cheerful and chipper and always up and good natured and she has a complete and total death wish.”

As much as the Cass we got ended up being my favorite comic character ever, it's unfortunate that the 'cheerful, chipper' aspect - which is definitely there in the character, I've talked in previous posts about how much she loves being Batgirl and how critical that is to her character and to the overall themes of the book - is rarely the dominant tone of her ongoing. The quote from Puckett above implies book that on the surface is bright and cheerful, with a subversive undercurrent that fades into the background only to rear up and slap you in the face unexpectedly, where as what we got is an unrelenting 'long darkness of the soul' situation, punctuated by brief flashes of light that more often than not turn out to be the headlights of an oncoming train.

Which brings us back to the current issue.

We start with some government suits watching video of Cass and debating whether she's a metahuman or not, before being surprised by the fact that they have no matching info for her. Still pretty fun and lighthearted, but it does establish the idea that these guys are going to be a problem.

we also re-do the goodbye scene from the end of last issue...

Only this this time Puckett adds this bit where the assassin realizes he'll never get to see his family again, dampening the mood, setting up for what happens to him later, but also putting this divide between himself and Cass. Last time this guy could be read as a sort of self-surrogate for her, someone parallel to her situation as a former assassin, and by saving him Cass was sort of getting the chance to save herself.

Here, though, the guy establishes himself, however briefly, as his own person, with a life and a family. All the things that Cass's unique history and circumstances have denied her.

Things that Barbara is extremely concerned that Cass may have permanently cut herself off from ever having in the future by letting herself be recorded by the government outside of costume.

Cass, of course, can't imagine a future for herself. Because she's going to die within the year when Shiva returns. And because she doesn't want to be anything other than Batgirl. But mostly because deep down she doesn't believe she deserves a life or a future, and doesn't want to think about why that is.

As it is, Cass doesn't think she has any connections, so isn't afraid of losing them.

Bab's dialog implies that she's going to go to Bruce about this thinking maybe he could get through to her, but Bruce, consciously or otherwise, has been actively isolating Cass, so can he really be counted on to prevent her from isolating herself even further?

There's this transition page where Cass wakes up to find Bruce instead of Oracle in the Tower. I don't talk about color much, but Jason Wright does a good job here, the colors not just conveying a transition to night but also the switch to a darker emotional and narrative tone, despite still being all smiles, not knowing what happened.

Just like John way back in issue two, we have another guy who Cass thought she had saved, and let herself feel happy about, only to find out that the villains had come back for them later. And once again it's a pretty gut wrenching twist.

Cass asks Bruce's permission to hurt these people, not just take them down and capture them, but to personally punish them, and he grants it, which is a pretty gross dynamic all round.

Remember this bit from issue 4, when Bruce is talking about how 'perfect' Batgirl was?

Better even than himself, not just as a matter of skill, but more importantly for how she was untainted by any excess cruelty. It's why he was so shocked to find out she might have killed someone, despite knowing Cain had trained her from birth to do just that. It wasn't something that the Cassandra the he knew was capable of. But a few short months working for Batman and...

This isn't 'gentle'. This isn't someone you'd be shocked to find out had killed someone.

Remember this bit from issue 4? Bruce all high and mighty about what David Cain did to Cass. But for all the painful and potentially lethal extremes of his training regimen, and for all the evil he intended her to do, David raised a girl who, once she understood what killing was, chose to abandon her life and her father - despite loving both - rather than kill again.

A few months exposure to Bruce is eroding away the humanity and compassion that compelled her to seek atonement in the first place.

Bruce, his methods, the way he treats his friends and family, he's actively making Cassandra worse.

On the way home Bruce says he's sorry, but it's about what happened to the assassin, he's not sorry for what he's doing to Cassandra himself, what he's taking from her. He's not even done taking things from her this issue, as he doesn't take her back to the clocktower.

Of course. Of course he's fine with throwing away even the possibility of a future independent of him and his mission. You can just imagine how the conversation with Babs went too, at first trying to appeal on Cass's behalf, Bruce just not getting it, switching to practical threats to the mission, how Cass's exposure potentially exposes Oracle, in the hope that he'll respond to that - only for Bruce to respond by taking Cass away entirely, severing the one lonely link to someone who at least tries to care about her as a person in her own right.

When Babs was trying to appeal to Cass earlier, she brushed her off, convinced that she didn't have anything to lose anyway. You can feel the realization dawning on her that yeah, she really did have something to lose.

And the issue ends with this panel that makes her tiny to emphasize how completely isolated she is now.

This issue is a major emotional low point in Cass's early series, maybe *the* major low point. Bruce at his worst, Cass at her most alone.

Things will slowly improve from here, though sadly never in quite the way they needed to, with a direct confrontation of Bruce himself.

[aq2003]

archive dive #2: the comedy of errors (2000)

so this one is. A mess LMAO like god is it so fucking funny and entertaining in some areas but so terrible in some others. i was expecting some outdatedness, bc some of it is kind of inextricable from the source material, but some of it has to do with stuff purely on the adaptation side as well. this was still a very well done production on the technical side: acting, staging, pacing, tone, and costumes/music (with some exceptions). compared to as you like it, i feel like this production is really accessible in that you could show this to someone completely unfamiliar w/ shakespeare and they'd be able to understand everything. however there are some very problematic elements re: the setting and some side characters that really weigh it down looking at it now (which i think is helpful to know for anyone going into this blind!) and i think it's pretty worthwhile to dissect it with a critical eye. also: the audio for the cds gets super crackly esp for the middle of act 2 so if anyone else is visiting stratford maybe try the alternate archive copy

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i find it interesting how different the antipholuses feel in terms of personality. the dromios are pretty similar but like. dt's antipholus of syracuse is sort of a funny weird loser that gets weak in the knees for any attractive woman he sees. anthony howell's antipholus of ephesus is like this humorless and kind of scarily violent man. and even though they're twins the former feels younger than the latter to me? also you can see the difference in their personalities in the dynamics w/ their dromios too; the syracusians feel more like brothers/friends while the ephesians feel like master and servant

the comedy of errors really is a whole play shakespeare wrote about your secret evil twin being real and fucking up your life except as the play rolls on it becomes clear to the audience you are the evil twin and your twin is just stupid and horny and cringefail

the biggest problem w this production is its really blatant orientalism that gets basically played for laughs/spectacle. specifically: the portrayals of the first + second merchants and the courtesan all kinda vary from "extremely stereotypical" to "racist caricature" (also i think the actor for the first merchant is white???). the courtesan was already a problematic character but adding that racialized element and how she's portrayed as this magically alluring, very sexualized woman that nearly every man in the play falls for... makes it worse, definitely. and also some bad choices being made re: the music cuz in act 1 the vibe seems to be "smooth jazz" (which i absolutely loved) and then for moments in act 2 when the syracusians are like "oh fuck this is a weird cursed land full of witches trying to tempt us", (and when they're being chased with swords by the second merchant and friends) the music shifts towards a middle-eastern-inspired sound and it's like. ok. free me

luce seems to be split off and made into an original character i think? bc she's a side character that kicks off the play and isn't dressed like a kitchen maid meanwhile dromio of ephesus' fiancé never actually appears. that's one way to try to solve the racism in the text i suppose but it is a shame the production had to cook up its whole separate category of issues outside of this

one thing i will give this production re: optics is how they lean really far into the implication that antipholus of ephesus has been cheating on adriana—this is what i thought when i was originally reading through the play (up until the bit where adriana gets reprimanded by lady abbess for being a hysterical paranoid woman driving her husband into insanity because she's constantly assuming he's being unfaithful). in this production though it's just straight up shown that antipholus of ephesus is cheating on her and her paranoia was completely valid and i think that was a really good choice. adriana even gets to slap him! she still absolutely needs to get a divorce though

dromio of syracuse speaking through an intercom to the ephesians in act 3 scene 1 was super fucking funny, i know in the original they don't see his face either but there's something about the way they did it here that made me lose it

i love the way the syracusians play off of each other, they are probably my favorite thing about the production. dt and ian hughes have a LOT of comedic chemistry together. like the whole "she is spherical" bit is real unfunny in itself but at the start of it where dromio says the line over and over again while david breaks character and says to the audience "got that?" and "calm down there's loads more of this to get through" made me genuinely laugh! (atennantcytoact has an audio clip of it here)

also the moment where antipholus of syracuse leans over on his dromio's shoulder and then dromio makes antipholus bend his knees so he can lean on him back (bc antipholus is so tall by comparison). really really good and i love it. communicates the dynamic between the syracusians v well

the sound effects for the golden chain. Lmfao

the "i buy a thousand pound a year i buy a rope!" line being repeated by dromio of ephesus over and over like it's a really funny joke that nobody understands absolutely killed me bc of how the actual folger annotation for that line was "dromio's indignant exit line has not been satisfactorily explained"

antipholus of syracuse is like "i'm not arguing with an attractive woman coming my way, whatever you say beautiful, please step on me" and antipholus of ephesus is like "i'm going to cheat on my wife and then i'm going to plan to domestically abuse her because i think she's cheating on me back"

a personal highlight of mine is antipholus of syracuse at the start of act 4 scene 3 where he's starting to freak the fuck out over everything that is happening. like it's so fucking funny. you poor thing, splashing water on your face. if you had a working braincell you would connect the dots. also makes great use of david tennant's talent for playing a character that is losing their fucking mind

also (shown in the image at the top of the post) dromio of syracuse's entrance in this scene to the funky jazz music wielding an umbrella and wearing the trenchcoat and sunglasses. it's so fucking good. i could watch it one billion times

i wish the audio didn't cut out when the syracusians came in with the swords because it looked like it was one of the best scenes in the play

the part at the end where the gang figures out what went down over the course of the whole story after discovering there are two antipholuses and two dromios was really well done. it was one of the least entertaining parts of the play when i was just reading it but seeing it play out was actually super fun, seeing all the reactions + the production fully leaning into the ridiculousness of the story/characters, was rly good

also the two sets of twins still getting mixed up by everyone even when they're standing right next to each other was such a good bit and it never got old

the audience "awww"ing at the hugs between the twins at the end... honestly, so true! i also felt a bit fuzzy at that! even for antipholus of ephesus! even if he is pretty terrible i'm glad he found his brother. maybe he can grow and change as a person after this, i have hope for him (adriana still needs to leave him though)

[archduchessofnowhere]

I’m seeing your rewatching posts of Die Kaiserin and after you fully rewatch I would honestly love to hear a rant comparison of how inaccurate the show is compared to real life. Like I’m seriously invested

Hi! Honestly if I make a "side by side" comparison of all the inaccuracies this answer would be 20k words long jgkglj. I feel that sometimes I come off as too obnoxious pointing out every little inaccuracy so I tried to do that a little less in this rewatch, and instead focused on which I believe are the biggest issues.

Personally, I think the problem with Die Kaiserin's inaccuracies is that they betray a completely lack of understanding of the history and the people they are adapting. It's not just that they changed dates or that they aged up characters or that the women wear corsets on their bare skin (all things that bother me too); is that the characters are so different to their historical counterparts that they are practically unrecognizable. Just to list a few of the crimes of this series' characterizations:

Elisabeth is no longer an introverted and sensitive teen girl who suddenly becomes empress and can't adapt to her new role, she's an outspoken, defiant young woman (her age in never mentioned but Devrim Lingnau just can't pass as a fifteen years old) who is more compassionate and clever and better than every single other woman in this series. She is just so Different and Not Like The Other Girls!

Franz Josef is a weak willed ruler who is easily manipulated by his mother and is apparently uncapable of assert his authority. Nevermind that the real FJ ruled as an absolute monarch since he was 18, and never allowed anyone near him to have too much influence.

Archduke Maximilian, FJ's liberal, romantic brother is turned into a womanizer bad boy who wants to steal his brother's throne and wife. Since he has no political leanings to speak of in this series, it's not really clear why he even wants to be emperor, funsies?

Archduchess Sophie was always going to get the short end of the stick, as the idea that she was a mother-in-law from hell is very prevalent in fiction and nonfiction. But this show takes it to a new level: she isn't an strict mother-in-law, she's cartoonishly evil. She orders executions and arrests (withouth his son's consent!), she threatens to lockdown Elisabeth forever if she doesn't agree to divorce FJ! She disdains her sons and calls them weak! (nevermind that the real Sophie adored all her children)

And I could go on with the rest of the supporting characters, but my point is: I don't know who these people are, they resemble their historical counterparts in name only.

And I guess I could forgive that if the series was at least an entretaining court drama, but honestly I just think that on top of being inaccurate, it is very dull as well. There's a whole episode set at a wedding party, and if well done I like this sort of "real time" episodes, but in this case I was terribly bored because nothing of note happened (oh no Elisabeth saw FJ's former mistress among the guests! She will now walk around asking people if they know who the woman is for the next thirty minutes). In fact the pacing is so bad that season 1 may take place in the span of three months for all we know.

Also practically all the conflicts this season are fictional too: Elisabeth not getting pregnant (false, she became pregnant two months after her wedding at most), Max planning a coup on his brother (false, Max loved his brother and would never do something against him), FJ wanting to build a rail but the evil conservative ministers being against it because they want to go to war (false, there wasn't opposition to industrialization - Austria's neutrality in the Crimean war had nothing to do with that), and so on.

Ultimately I think that if you know nothing (but like, absolutely nothing) of the real history you may enjoy this show as a soap opera (because the fictional love triangle gets a lot of screentime), because Die Kaiserin is really not the serious period drama it seems to believe it is.

[jkcorellia]

There are two issues that vex me about combat-focused TTRPGs, the avoidance of both of which at the same time is a priority for the one I'm writing:

"the only hit point that matters is the last one"

the Death Spiral

In the former scenario (for which DnD, at least its fifth edition, is the poster child), characters have a number of hit points, and as enemy attacks chip away at them, nothing happens. As long as they have 1+ HP, they are just as effective as if they had 100% of their HP. For folks interested in a more simulationist, verisimilitudinous (say that out loud, it's fun) experience, this can feel unsatisfying.

In the latter scenario, the closer a character is to death, the less effective they get. As anyone who has ever been sick or injured or tired or burnt out can attest, that is indeed how it works. The problem, of course, especially for games purporting a "heroic" mode of play, is that it can be very frustrating for your powerful Lvl 12 BloodMeister to suddenly be unable to land a blow as 37 NightGoblins pepper away at him with shortbows. Or whatever. In cases where the Death Spiral doesn't match the game's Vibe (and if it does match the Vibe, I'm not talking about your game and it's perfect and carry on), the "realism" can stand in the way of fun. Which is like...a capital crime I'm pretty sure.

The problem I'm finding is that these two pitfalls are at odds in a way where it seems really easy to fall into the one while avoiding the other, or vice versa. The theory I'm currently trying to test is threading the needle by making characters less accurate while giving them damage buffs as their HP falls under 50%, then furthermore under 25% - sort of a wounded animal approach.

I'm neither sure this will be effective nor that it will be enough, but the fun thing about a slowly moving personal project with no deadlines or backers or collaborators is that I can just sit with it for a while and tweak it one million times, so at least there's that.

Definitely open to thoughts here - using HP (as opposed to wound thresholds or other indicators of character health) is not set in stone, but I'm not sure simply changing the health system alone could avoid this particular tightrope. I'm certainly open to thoughts on the matter though.

[mariacallous]

Since Donald Trump took office, on January 20th, his Administration has slow-walked or outright failed to comply with court orders related to a range of issues, most notably immigration and government funding. I recently spoke by phone with Samuel R. Bagenstos, a professor of law at the University of Michigan and a former general counsel to the Department of Health and Human Services in the Biden Administration. The goal was to go through some of these cases to understand why legal experts are so concerned, and whether there is a larger strategy to the Administration’s behavior. During our conversation, which has been edited for length and clarity, we also discussed the problem with the phrase “constitutional crisis,” whether bureaucratic incompetence could really be the reason for some of Trump’s actions, and why the past two months have been so unprecedented in American history.

Are we living through a constitutional crisis, or do you feel like we’re still some distance away from one?

I really hate the significance that’s being put on the phrase “constitutional crisis.” We are living through a massive assault on basic premises of our constitutional system. It’s been brewing for a long time, but it’s been acute for the last two months. Call that a crisis or not, but either way we are in deep, deep trouble.

Why don’t you like the phrase?

It has so many potential meanings. A constitutional crisis could be something that is a very discrete event, where two branches of government stare each other in the face in what looks like a standoff, and then they eventually resolve it. Or a constitutional crisis could be, Wow, it looks like basic building blocks of our constitutional system are about to go away. I think we’re much more in that second mode here. The phrase suggests that once you cross a certain point, something bad is going to happen that didn’t happen before. And so everybody starts asking, Well, have we crossed it yet? If the President is winking at court orders but not really defying them, is that enough? If the President is defying district-court orders but not the Supreme Court, is that enough? And I think that’s sort of a fool’s game. I’d rather just focus on what the President is doing.

Why does this seem to you more about the basic building blocks of our constitutional system going away, as opposed to two branches—in this case the judiciary and the executive—facing off?

I think it’s more than just the President facing off against the judiciary. We have to look at what all these disputes are about. How did these cases get into court in the first place? We have a President who has made very clear that he believes he has the prerogative to pick and choose what laws passed by Congress he has to follow. And so to me that’s the first and most fundamental challenge to our constitutional order here. All of these cases are about laws Congress has passed. Congress passed laws appropriating money for particular purposes. Congress passed laws creating certain agencies. Congress passed laws creating processes for dealing with immigration. And the President just doesn’t want to follow them. That’s why he’s been brought to court.

The President and his people have been very overt about their belief that they don’t have to follow the laws Congress has passed. Now we’re getting to a point where Trump and Musk and the people in this Administration are suggesting that they might not be bound by the courts holding them to those laws. I think that compounds the problem—I don’t think that is the problem itself. I think that’s a symptom that makes it worse.

The case that’s received the most attention is about a group of Venezuelan men who were flown to El Salvador last week, in violation of a judge’s order. It appears that one of the three planes had not left when the judge ordered that the government not deport these men, at least temporarily. Have you heard anything specific from the Administration in their defense of their behavior that makes you think this was something other than defiance of a court order?

No, I have not.

They have said that they weren’t told in time. They’ve said that some of the planes were over international waters. They have said that the judge’s order that the planes be turned around was verbal, not written.

When you look at the submissions that the Department of Justice has made in defense of what happened here, you see two things. You see a series of arguments that this really wasn’t a violation of the order. And I think that’s important—that the Trump Administration has consistently acted at least under the pretense that they are trying to comply with all of these court orders. But then it’s surrounded by a whole bunch of language and rhetoric that strongly suggests that they don’t believe the courts have power to act in these cases.

They’re basically saying, Look, we have a bunch of arguments, however implausible, that we were complying, but, anyway, you don’t want to push this, judge, because we don’t really think you have the power here. It’s a way of trying to get some leverage in what really feels like a negotiation with the court. That’s one way to think about these arguments: they’re not necessarily being offered in the sense that this court or any other court would really believe them, so much as this gives them a way to say they’re complying while also telling the court that you better not push us.

Now what are the arguments they’ve made? The argument that the planes were in international waters—well, the planes have radios. Obviously, if the President or the people who the pilots answer to told them to turn the planes around, they would have turned the planes around. The people making that decision were within the United States, and within the jurisdiction of the court. The idea that the planes were outside of U.S. airspace, and therefore they couldn’t do anything about it, that’s just laughable on its face.

It also appears that these planes may have taken off during the hearing. And certainly when I was working in the government—and I worked in three Presidential Administrations, during which I worked in or very closely with the Department of Justice—we would never have come close to trying to moot a pending hearing before a judge, to take a judge’s jurisdiction away by trying to get planes in the air before the hearing started or certainly before it ended. Secondly, the fact that they’re making the argument shows a lack of respect for the judicial system and a lack of willingness to submit to judicial review of their actions.

As for the oral order and not the written order of the court, well, this was an emergency situation. It was a hearing that was called precisely because there was a real worry that the Administration would try to deprive the court of jurisdiction. And so what the judge said very clearly in the hearing was that you have to make sure those planes turn around if there are any planes in the air. That was clearly communicated to the Department of Justice, which represents the Administration here. The minute written order was just a summary of what had happened orally. That’s what so-called minute orders are. That’s the difference between a minute order and a fully fleshed out order that stands on its own. The fact that not every word the judge said in the hearing was reflected in the minute order doesn’t mean he was somehow implicitly taking back what he said.

I had asked another lawyer about this question of moving ahead with your plans before a court date, and he said that, until there’s a temporary restraining order telling you that you can’t do it, it’s relatively normal for governments to keep doing what they are doing. Is that not your understanding, though?

I think we might be having a conversation about the timing here. It’s one thing if you’re the government and you’re doing something controversial that might trigger a lawsuit or that maybe has triggered a lawsuit, but there’s no impending hearing for a temporary restraining order. Well, until there’s an order issued against you, you are legally free to continue to engage in the behavior that’s been challenged. And, to the extent that’s what your friend is saying, that makes total sense. When a hearing has been scheduled on an emergency basis and it is hours, if not minutes away, taking an action to deprive the court of its ability to decide the motion that is before it at the emergency hearing is not something that is at all normal. And that seems to be, at best, what they did here. So I don’t think the story is a good one for the Administration, and I don’t think it shows the kind of respect for the courts that the Department of Justice and the executive branch usually show.

Another case concerns a Lebanese doctor, Rasha Alawieh, who was deported last week. She had a U.S. visa, and there’s some question about whether her deportation was done in defiance of a judge’s order. The government is saying that by the time the order from the judge came through she had been deported.

I think I need to understand the facts of that one better. Certainly, the judge in that case has suggested that there may be a violation of his order. I think one of the complicating factors is that immigration law is complicated, and, you know, she had left the country and was trying to reënter. I’m not sure I have a good answer factually on what happened there, but it’s certainly very troubling in light of the court’s order and is part of the general pattern, but I wouldn’t want to litigate it yet.

During the first Trump Administration, there often was a lot of incompetence. This term seems like it will be perhaps less incompetent and even more malicious, but I am curious about the degree to which something like lawyers for the Department of Justice communicating with agents for Immigration and Customs Enforcement can take a while, as the government claims it did here, because of bureaucratic incompetence.

There are glitches in communication sometimes. I will tell you though that in my experience as the general counsel of a Cabinet agency in the previous Administration, where we were often in litigation that challenged our own actions and that was proceeding on an emergency basis, we were in very close touch with the Department of Justice attorneys and were very careful not to take action that would violate an order of the court or that would even come close to violating an order of the court, and we wanted to make sure that we would act in a way that was consistent with what the court said. I find it inconceivable that this sort of thing would have happened in our Administration, at least in the part of our Administration that I worked in, because we were in such close touch.

In an earlier case, from January, a Rhode Island judge said, basically, that the Administration had ignored his order to unfreeze federal funds that the Administration had tried to stop from being disbursed. What is the status of that case?

There was the initial funding-freeze memo that was issued by the Office of Management and Budget that was the target of the lawsuit. And O.M.B. very quickly purported to withdraw it. But then on the same day that they withdrew the memo the President’s press secretary said, We haven’t withdrawn the freeze. So the judge issued a temporary restraining order, saying, Well, you haven’t actually withdrawn the freeze, and you have to. You’re violating Congress’s power of the purse by freezing appropriated funds. Then there was a great deal of evidence presented by states and grantees that although the government had been ordered to unfreeze funds, it was not doing so. And so the judge said that the government was violating his order. He said, I’m not going to hold you in contempt, but I am going to issue an order enforcing my order. And there was still very significant evidence that the government was refusing to spend the funds that had previously been frozen. And then, in issuing a preliminary injunction, the judge again said, You violated my order. That is now on appeal.

I can tell you that some funds have been unfrozen since the initial order and the preliminary injunction. But I talk to grantees, and there are a number who still tell me they have not gotten the money that should be going to them. What you’re seeing in these cases is at best slow-walking compliance with court orders and probably some continued resistance to compliance.

We have something similar in a case involving U.S.A.I.D. grants. The government initially froze all these grants and contracts. A court issued an order saying you can’t do that. You have to unfreeze the grants. And then U.S.A.I.D. and the State Department said, O.K., well, what we’re going to do is we’re going to go through the grants one by one and decide, not based on the blanket freeze but one by one, whether it’s appropriate to continue each grant. They somehow managed to get through close to ten thousand grants and contracts that they say they individually reviewed up to the level of the Secretary of State in about six weeks. They decided to cancel more than eighty per cent of them. And then the court said, Well, I’m still enjoining you from a blanket freeze, but I don’t have the authority to enjoin you from individual decisions. The individual grantees might have to sue about that. This may reward the Administration’s conduct.

When you say “reward the Administration’s conduct,” do you think that the judge had a choice or that just the way our system is set up, there’s no way to do anything about it?

We’re in a situation where we have something that is beyond unprecedented in the executive branch in terms of its assault on basic premises of our constitutional system, and particularly of congressional supremacy in the area of spending money. And so that is a very difficult matter for courts to deal with. They don’t have a lot of experience dealing with it. Following ordinary procedural rules, as the judges are doing, may well be the right choice in the sense that it’s following legal practice. But it also is in some ways insufficient to provide a remedy to stop or unwind or rectify this assault on basic premises of our system.

I think I totally understand where the judgment’s coming from. If it’s one thing to say a blanket refusal to spend money is a violation of Congress’s power of the purse, it’s something else once the Administration says, We’re making decisions based on individual grants and based on relevant legal factors related to individual grants. Now, I think it’s implausible that they did any serious analysis of each individual grant when we’re talking about thousands of grants over the course of a six-week period, that purportedly each one individually was briefed up to the Secretary of State. But I can understand why in ordinary legal practice a judge doesn’t second-guess when a high-ranking official of the executive branch says, I engaged in this individualized analysis. So I think they’re bringing ordinary processes to a very extraordinary situation.

It does seem that this is an Administration intent on acting as if it is not bound by the law, and that the specific details of each case are worth looking into and, of course, litigating, but that doing so may miss the bigger picture. Or is that not right?

I think that’s a fair description. This is definitely a case where you’re going to have a better understanding of what’s going on if you’re looking at the over-all picture. We can have arguments about these individual cases. But although litigation has been very important in stopping the most egregious abuses, in bringing facts to light about what’s been going on, litigation is not going to ultimately be the solution here. The way litigation works is it adjudicates discrete controversies between particular parties. It’s not set up to adjudicate the basic premises of our constitutional system being attacked in a significant way. Here we have a broad assault that is made up of many discrete decisions put together. It’s really an assault on the prerogatives of Congress, which is the people’s branch.

Well, they don’t give a shit.

Right. That’s where I was going to go. One of the very depressing and dispiriting aspects of this is that Congress is not standing up for its prerogatives. Probably the greatest opinion in the history of constitutional law is Justice Robert Jackson’s opinion in the steel-seizure case. One of the things he says is that President Truman violated the Constitution in trying to seize steel mills, purportedly for war-production purposes. To me, the most important part of the opinion is when he says, Look, the courts can’t countenance this kind of violation of congressional prerogative. Because the seizure of the steel mills would both regulate commerce and constitute a taking of property that would require compensation, only Congress could authorize it. And I think what we’re seeing right now is a legislative branch that is not standing up for its prerogatives. People expect too much if they expect the courts to try to aggressively defend legislative prerogatives when Congress won’t do that.