#the first time he realized he had the agency to choose an answer i literally felt him relax under me

[bleakyblues]

The 2nd Reiteration of “I’m on your side”.

The problem with having so much happen in the last episode is that it kind of overshadows what has happened in the previous one. We spent the entire episode 13 with Porsche’s suspicions and lack of trust. The show pretty definably established that he not only doesn’t trust Korn but also to some extent doesn’t trust Kinn. Yes he trusts Kinn’s love and in Kinn as a person but he doesn’t trust Kinn to have agency. He doesn’t even expect Kinn to look beyond his father’s lies and he knows directly going against Korn without knowing the complete truth will just hurt Kinn. And there is also the fact that Porsche is canonically the person with the greatest trust issues. We’d expected it to be Kinn but he trusts Porsche completely. Porsche can’t do the same because he is more familiar with the realities of life. That a person who has multiple allegiances can never offer complete loyalty to someone, especially when those allegiances have the potential to come into conflict. I believe that’s why he and Vegas work so well together. Both are aware that their trust in each other is conditional and they clearly negotiate those conditions. Hence, why they are able to shift between being allies to enemies to allies again so easily.

That is the emotional state we move into episode 14 with. Even on their 2nd confrontation, Korn gives Porsche absolutely no reason to change his stance. So when Vegas calls and asks Porsche to choose, Porsche makes his choice and his choice is Kinn. The “I am not on the major family’s side. I am not on the minor family’s side. I am on your side.” may seem like a romantic declaration at first, and it is, but the practical implication of the statement appears through the context Kinn, himself provides Porsche and the audience, that is - “If you believe my father, you’re on the major family’s side. if you don’t believe him (and later on, believe Gun instead) you are on the minor family’s side”. Thus, Porsche is essentially telling him, he doesn’t believe in them but loves Kinn enough to override that disbelieve.

Then Korn goes and gives him the proof that he is lying and hiding things and Porsche is ready to shoot him again . . . except Kinn steps in the way. 

You can literally see here the realization dawn on his face that he has lost before he even knew he had a battle to fight. It is pretty well established by now that he will do anything for the people he loves and Korn has his grip on all 3 of his loved ones - his mother as Korn’s step-sister who seems to feel comfortable with only him (she tries to hide behind Korn and grips his arm tightly), Chay as a step-nephew who Porsche himself brought under his roof and most importantly, Kinn who will never leave his father even if Porsche manages to get the other 2 out. So he lowers his gun and agrees to take the ring, knowing that it is essentially going to be a leash. And the most fucked up thing is that, we know Porsche will not only happily wear that leash but even think of it as a diamond necklace, if it means it can keep his loved ones safe and happy.

And this finally brings me to the 2nd reiteration of that dialogue because the context still stands and Porsche’s answer is still the same. He knows he’s being lied to and yet he’s still choosing Kinn. But this time around, it comes with the added context of Porsche being the literal head of the minor family. He is quite explicitly telling Kinn that the family does not matter to him. He would burn it down without hesitation, destroy even that what he was now responsible for, if it weren’t for the person in front of him. And then he drives the nail into the coffin by saying that “All my life . . . is all yours.” and I don’t think Kinn fully understands the implications of what Porsche is saying. Porsche, a person who doesn’t trust completely is giving his complete loyalty to Kinn. He is not only giving in but he is giving up. He is giving up his right to find the truth and get justice for his parents, he’s giving up his agency, he’s giving up his freedom for Kinn. His mother had wanted him to be a phoenix and fly to freedom. Porsche puts on shackles and cages himself in that family for love. He’s placing himself right under Korn’s thumb just so he doesn’t have to let go of Kinn’s hand. And the ironic thing or the most fucked up thing really, is that he is genuinely happy doing so. His search for truth means nothing to him in the face of the peace and stability and happiness, him being Korn’s puppet can bring for Kinn and Chay.

I guess what I am ultimately saying is that at the end of the day, Porsche will be a perfect little chess piece for Korn but his obedience will be more absolute because unlike Kinn, he is consenting to it with both of his eyes open. And at the end of the day, it will finally come down to Kinn after all - whether he will treasure his father or his lover more.

Edit: Just gonna add this gif to drive home the fact that Korn makes sure it is Kinn's hand that puts the 'leash' on Porsche and Porsche realises this as well. (not a part of this gif but you can see Porsche staring at the ring with furrowed brows)

[indigo--montoya]

1 and 10?

Hi, thanks for the ask!!

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

All of them? The concept of OTPs in general? Idk I'm a multishipper

So far as popular ships go, though, there's a couple I don't really get. The one I least understand is zukka. Literally where did its huge popularity come from, if you want to ship two guys (which so far as I can tell is one of the main draws?) then, well, both sokkaang and jetko have more canon basis. Is this partly just me being salty that two ships I love that have actual canon grounding are ignored most of the time (one more so than the other) in favor of something that is pretty much a crackship? noooo (yes)

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

This part got long enough that I decided to put it under a cut.

Hmm ok, so this is a hard one. There's a few arcs I have significant issues with. The one I think I dislike most strongly is Aang's arc, though. Like, they had most of an amazing growing up arc (emotional dependence to emotional independence, it could have been so cool) all done, and then just. Completely flubbed the ending!

They started setting it up in the very first episode, when Aang sees Katara and forms an instantaneous attachment. All through Book 1 it stays a healthy relationship, where they get closer and make mistakes and work through them. There's foreshadowing for what will come later, but for now it's a good, healthy friendship.

Then in Book 2, we get the first real signs of trouble. We're shown in The Avatar State that Aang's emotional dependence on Katara has grown- he'd needed her support before, for instance when he saw his mentor's corpse, that was a completely reasonable time for him to rely on her. But here she doubtless needed more support than he did since she'd just been buried alive, and had to turn right around and calm him down instead. As Book 2 progresses, this is not addressed, and his emotional dependence on her only grows.

At the end of Book 2 is another key moment in this arc, where he's forced to begin to confront the fact that he feels like he needs Katara specifically for emotional support, as opposed to friendships in general. Book 3 doesn't do as well with this arc (hardly surprising, given what Book 3 was like in general), but there's still enough support for this arc that it feels like they could have stuck the landing with a few tweaks.

But by the end, nothing is actually resolved here, at least not in a way that makes sense. We see Aang so close to a good end to this arc at the beginning of the canon finale, and then at the very end we see an Aang who seems like he could almost be the one at the end of this arc, but there's no character development in between, just a bunch of glowing. GLOWING IS NOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!

What really gets me here is how easy it would have been to make this an absolutely beautiful character arc, just by changing some of the details.

Change the focus from shipping to buildup for Aang learning not to use Katara as an emotional crutch, take away the kisses (especially if you want ka to be endgame), either remove Ember Island Players or completely rewrite it.

Show Aang realizing Katara isn't the perfect angel he built her up as in his head, show him beginning to accept that (the episode with Hama could be a great place to start this part, TSR is another good place to work on this stuff).

Keep him running away right before Sozin's comet, but for goodness sake give him some agency in it instead of having a lion turtle come by and hypnotize him. Have him choose to leave, with the intent to come back and fight Ozai, even kill him if he has to, but he's damn well going to try everything besides killing him first. So he waterbends his way out to a sandbar, bends himself a tiny island, and starts meditating.

He doesn't get quite the same answers from the past Avatars in this- I'm thinking Yangchen probably encourages him to look for an alternate solution, but reminds him to do what is necessary, even kill if he has to. He ends up using meditation to unblock his chakras, on a very visible time crunch because he headed to the coast of the Earth Kingdom to be sure he'd be there when Ozai arrived.

He's in the Avatar State during the fight, and in control, but it's not just ~magical glowing that does everything for him~ he has to actually fight. It's the hardest fight of his life so far- Ozai is powerful, and he's inexperienced. He's struggling, trying to hold Ozai off without killing or significantly injuring him, hoping against hope he won't have to use lethal force. Maybe at one point he hits Ozai hard enough to stun him and almost has a breakdown but then Ozai gets up.

Anyway, how the fight ends is he knocks Ozai to the ground and traps him like General Fong trapped Katara, all the way back at the start of Book 2. He doesn't use energybending and he doesn't need to, because with a little creativity (and embracing earthbending) he finds a nonviolent solution that we already knew was a thing that could happen. This should have been canon fight me

Oh and then if you're doing the ka version, instead of a kiss at the end Katara and Aang have a really sweet heart-to-heart where they both agree they're not ready for a romantic relationship yet, even though they both have feelings for each other they need more stability first and want their friendship to be a constant in a quickly-changing world. Because their friendship means the world to them.

End on a hopeful note with them holding hands, and boom! You've turned ka into something I actually like! Heck, you get the details right and you just turned ka into a ship I think about and write about and care about to a degree most would consider excessive!!

[lokiondisneyplus]

Variants. Time Keepers. Apocalypses. Alligators. Jet Skis. Over the course of Season 1 of Marvel Studios’ Loki, the God of Mischief has seen and done it all across the Sacred Timeline. But now at the end of time — literally, Loki has arrived at the Citadel at the End of Time, accompanied by Sylvie — only one question remains: Has this journey changed Loki? It’s even a question He Who Remains poses, reminding the duo that they can’t reach the end until they’ve seen a change: “It needs to happen, to get us all in the right mindset to finish the quest.”

For a trickster who has always been so focused on his wants and needs, it’s safe to say that Loki’s time working for the Time Variance Authority (and then trying to take down the TVA) has certainly shaped him in ways we haven’t seen before. Gone is the Asgardian who commanded people to kneel before him; now, for the first time, we’re seeing a softer side to Loki as he realizes that his choices have consequences and he’s in charge of his own destiny — no one else. Going all the way back to the very beginning of Episode 1, as Loki stands before Judge Renslayer at the TVA, he yells that no one else will dictate how his story ends, and he’s finally doing just that.

“Loki, as a show, has introduced so many complex ideas, and themes, and conversations,” Tom Hiddleston tells Marvel.com. “One of the things I've been so pleased and thrilled to see with the show is how deeply the audience is engaged with the big ideas, the ideas of fate versus free will, agency versus determinism. Do we have the capacity to genuinely choose our path through our lives? And in those choices, where do we derive meaning? To what extent are any of us free? To what extent are these characters free to choose their route through the universe and self-realize and determine the course of their lives?”

Loki didn’t change completely on his own, though, as everyone he encounters throughout all six episodes influences him in ways he never could have predicted, from his surprising friendship with Mobius to Classic Loki reclaiming his “glorious purpose.”

“People latched onto the relationship between Loki and Mobius, and understood that there was a mirror in the two of them,” Hiddleston says. “Both Mobius and Loki had a lot to teach each other. Mobius opens up Loki’s sense of his own identity and that this might be something that's malleable. And then Sylvie opens up something in Loki about the nature of identity. And that Loki is able to then reflect back to Mobius.”

“In Episode 5, suddenly, the conversations the three of them have had [cause] an effect on the variant Lokis — on Classic Loki, on Kid Loki, on Boastful Loki. I like to think on Alligator Loki, too. Maybe he starts to think about free will.”

This all comes to a head when Loki and Sylvie have the most important conversation of all, with He Who Remains. Standing before this man behind the curtain, He Who Remains lays out his entire philosophy, the reason behind the TVA and all the smoke and mirrors. It’s to protect the Sacred Timeline from his own variants.

“This conversation between the three of them about the nature of reality, about the nature of time, about the nature of the multiverse, and the question about whether the TVA organization has any moral authority to determine reality as we see it,” Hiddleston continues. “There's an enormous amount to unpack, an enormous amount to think about, and it provokes as many questions as it provides answers.”

Loki, having gained a new perspective, wants to stop and think about what he’s just learned since it’s heavy. Sylvie, on the other hand, believes “he’s stalling for time and that it’s another manipulation. She feels is on the precipice of some catharsis,” adds Hiddleston. The two come to a disagreement where they both believe they’re the one in the right. Loki wants to weigh the options of He Who Remains’ proposal, and Sylvie just wants this puppet-master dead.

“It’s incredibly distressing for both of them that they disagree in this moment,” Hiddleston says. “It was quite an intense scene for us. We knew we had to be quite precise about the way the scene unfolded.”

Not only are they verbally arguing, but soon both have their weapons at the ready and are trading blows back and forth. (Something He Who Remains giddily watches from the sidelines.)

This finale was the last thing shot for the season, with Jonathan Majors joining the cast, as He Who Remains, for the last week they were in production. From there, it was time to dive into the trio’s conversation and how it caps off all the themes leading up to this point — identity, free will, and accepting yourself, to name a few.

“Right up to the time of the few days in which we filmed it, we were refining the dialogue between Loki and Sylvie because we needed to make sure that there was a balance,” Hiddleston recalls. “Both their positions [needed to be] articulated, and the audience could see the struggle. We worked all weekend to make sure we integrated the scene with the choreography so that it was completely seamless. The disagreement was at the center of all of it, and every word and every move.”

Unfortunately, the two just can’t see eye to eye on the situation — as He Who Remains points out, Sylvie can’t trust and Loki can’t be trusted. Hiddleston even notes, “At the center of Loki’s identity, certainly for as long as I’ve played him, is untrustworthiness. He’s unpredictable and spontaneous.”

But now, with a tearful confession to Sylvie, Loki’s newly changed outlook shines through as he takes everything he’s learned over the course of the series and tries to reason with her. But, “it’s heartbreaking pain because she’s not on the same page.”

“The confession in Episode 6 reveals how much he’s evolved. Sylvie believes Loki’s position comes from the same old motivation to sit on a throne. But it doesn’t. It comes from genuine care for another being outside of himself. It speaks to a theme that was very close to all of our hearts as filmmakers, which was about self-confrontation, and self-awareness, and self-forgiveness, and self-acceptance in some way. That the only way of moving forward is to acknowledge who you are. And then change can begin.”

Making matters worse, Sylvie isn’t the only familiar face Loki loses in the end. Though he ends up back within the halls of the TVA, this isn’t the TVA he left. The choices Loki and Sylvie made at the Citadel at the End of Time are already breeding consequences, one of which is that “his friend Mobius doesn’t recognize him and doesn’t know who he is. His destabilization in that moment is profound.”

Loki and Mobius’ friendship has been a touchstone for the series, and according to Hiddleston, as the show was being developed, their relationship was “one of the things I was drawn to.”

“I’m very moved by the idea of their friendship,” he continues. “I don’t think Loki has allowed himself to have many friends. Because to have friends, you have to be vulnerable, and you have to trust. Loki’s so defensive, vulnerability and trust, those two things don’t come easily to him. Mobius is perhaps the first figure in Loki’s life to sit across from him and reflect him back to himself without judgment, but somehow with compassion.”

“Mobius is able to contain Loki and say, ‘This is who you are. And I understand.’ That feeling of compassion or lack of judgment is new for Loki, and allows him to open up in a way that facilitates the genesis of this unique friendship. Mobius also is surprised by his affection for Loki. And then it’s Loki who teaches Mobius about life outside the TVA, life before the TVA. Maybe he had a life. Maybe he had a family. Maybe he had a jet ski. They mean a lot to each other, and they’ve done a lot for each other.”

With a new Mobius now in the mix, this means that the pair’s parting goodbye in Episode 5 was their final farewell, when “Mobius offers his hand; Loki chooses to hug him and he says, ‘Thank you, my friend.’ That’s very sincere and very meaningful.”

What’s a trickster to do when he finds himself in an unfamiliar place surrounded by people he used to know? That remains to be seen, as the season ends before those questions are answered, laying the complex groundwork for Season 2 and the lingering unanswered TVA questions.

“What’s been fascinating for me making it, and continues to be one of the most interesting questions of our story, is the moral complexity of the TVA,” Hiddleston concludes. “The idea that an organization that claims to govern the order of time with benevolence and precision is actually something much more ambiguous. And there's a question: On what authority does the TVA, or anyone who has set it up or runs it, decide who gets to live and who doesn't, who gets to participate in reality as we know it?”

[reminisce05-20]

Dazai - The Book - Double Black

Dazai couldn't remember being a child, one of elementary age. He had only started to remember when he was around 14, which was when he first met Mori.

Sometimes, he wondered if he should be searching for answers, of who his parents could've been or where he came from, but he had easily moved on. Perhaps too easily, but he had no regrets. After all, the past didn't define him. He could write his own story from the present.

Only after words started to be written on his pale skin did he start to wonder who he really was.

Long sleeves could suffice, but just in case, Dazai wrapped bandages around his arms. Then his torso. Then up to his neck and finally his eye to give the air of an injury. The words hadn't spread quite that much, but it made his stomach crawl whenever he saw the squiggly lines all over his body. It was simply a precaution in case more words suddenly appeared.

Dazai soon met Chuuya, who was loud and angry and short, which made it even funnier when Dazai riled him up. Chuuya insisted that he was still young and growing. For the first time, Dazai wanted to laugh at the words he had seen yesterday on his elbow. Chuuya will never grow.

Although the words brought occasional joy, when he was 18, he saw words on the back of his left arm that said, Sakunosuke Oda will die. Sakunosuke couldn't die. His ability allowed him to see things moments before they actually happened, and Sakunosuke wasn't dumb. He would be fine.

He never had allowed the words on his arms and body to ever affect him. Words, in general, had never affected him since Dazai believed actions could speak much more.

"Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but... saving others is something just a bit wonderful."

For once, he took the words to heart.

Once, long ago when he was still young, not in the Detective Agency nor even the Mafia, Dazai had written something on his arm, something that tattooed itself to his arm for just a second before it burned away with terrible pain.

Dazai experimented. His ability, "No Longer Human", obviously canceled out abilities with no exception. The words were things to happen, things that were happening, and things that had happened. The timing for when the events actually took place differed, from as small as a minute to as long as a year. Dazai couldn't change events that were going to happen or create an entirely new one. It was probably a strange mix of the words and his ability.

Dazai had considered going to the President to inform him of the words. He was fairly sure that everyone else in the agency believed the bandages to be a fashion choice, excluding Ranpo and the President. He walked in front of the office door for a few minutes, pacing, before walking back to his desk. Perhaps the talk could be moved to another time.

The words were often too ugly to be shown to others.

Dazai was good at planning things, which made it entirely his fault that he hadn't prepared ahead for this.

A few days ago words had appeared on his collarbone, ones that said, "Chuuya will unleash Arahabaki once more. Secrets will be revealed." If Chuuya was going to showcase his powers, Dazai would no doubt be sent along unless Chuuya had managed to somehow subdue his powers effectively. Sure enough, he was sent to settle a dispute that would benefit both the Mafia and the Agency. It was always nice, seeing the top of Chuuya's hat, showing that he had indeed not grown a single bit.

He had misinterpreted the "secrets" on his arm. Dazai had expected it to be Chuuya's secrets, of how he stayed so short all the time.

In Arahabaki form, Chuuya had never attacked Dazai, at least not to kill. He had to have some semblance of control to not kill the only person that could bring him back, even if Chuuya hated him. But this time, right after defeating the enemy, Chuuya turned on him in an instant, giving Dazai no time to nullify his ability.

It would have been fine. Dazai only took a few hard hits before he tapped Chuuya on the head, nullifying his ability. They both staggered for a moment before Dazai laughed.

"Well, that was awfully close wasn't it, Chuuya?"

Chuuya huffed, angry but too tired to anything about it.

"Only if you had touched me a little earlier maybe you - hey what's that on your arm?"

Dazai froze before he looked at his left arm, bandages slightly unraveled, revealing the inky text on his arm.

"Some tattoo shit? Or maybe weird scars..."

Chuuya took a step forward while Dazai hurriedly rebandaged his arm with a hopefully winning grin.

"How observant of you."

Chuuya scowled for a second before staring at Dazai.

"Seriously, was it just some weirdo tattoo? Show me what you have written there."

Dazai made a mental note to seriously work out and train with Kunikida. Then again, it probably wouldn't bring him near Chuuya's level for a long time. Even after using Arahabaki, Chuuya stomped forward, grabbing his arm and unwrapping the bandage with unreasonable strength and speed. His control must have actually been getting better. Or maybe they had just defeated the enemy faster today.

"What the - what the heck is this Dazai?"

He didn't have the strength to stand properly, staggering a little bit while unsuccessfully trying to get out of Chuuya's iron grip.

"An occult tattoo I got when I was 14. It says 'fuck off Chuuya'."

"It literally says 'Sakunosuke Oda will die'. I've heard of that name before... who was that again?"

Out of all the sentences Chuuya could have seen, it had to be that one. Why not the one about Atsushi dropping his ice cream, or maybe the one about Chuuya's height? They could have laughed over that.

"This actually happened didn't it Dazai? Like, a few years ago?"

At this point, Dazai simply didn't care enough to wrench his wrist away from Chuuya. He had wanted to tell someone about this for so long. Chuuya and he didn't have the best relationship, but they could certainly trust each other. After all, they had been partners, right?

"It tells me things that are going to happen. Well, at the time of course. This already happened a while ago."

Chuuya simply stared, unsure of what to believe.

"I tried changing history once. It hurt really bad, I think it's got something to do with my goddamn ability, I hate seeing the words every day and having to bandage them - "

"Um... Dazai, calm down."

He hadn't realized he was breathing so heavily. His chest felt like it was burning.

It felt like it was burning just like when he was young - why was it like this when he hadn't written anything down on his skin?

"Dazai, what's going on?"

Dazai turned away from Chuuya before throwing his jacket off, then his vest, then his shirt to reveal the mass of bandages covering every inch of his skin.

"What the fuck Dazai, stop stripping in front of me - "

Dazai for once ignored Chuuya instead of sending back an angry retort. He unwrapped the bandages, not caring if Chuuya saw the words or not since the pain was burning as if he was dying and he wanted it to just stop. Stop stop stop.

The bandages were off to show the mass of writing on his back and arms and stomach and even up to his neck. Chuuya's breathing became softer, more confused and curious.

Chuuya will never grow.

Dazai will trip and fall on the doormat before meeting Akutagawa for the first time.

Sakunosuke Oda will die.

Atsushi will drop the ice cream Dazai bought for him and will be horrified.

More evil will soon come in Yokohama.

Chuuya will unleash Arahabaki once more. Secrets will be revealed.

Chuuya simply stared, dumbfounded, trying to read everything written on Dazai's back. Dazai on the other hand, looked down at the center of his chest to see just a few words.

Yokohama's Page - By Osamu Dazai.

The words were a gleaming gold, burning his skin before suddenly cooling into the familiar black, only a small golden border on the edges of each letter. Chuuya had now walked in front of him, kneeling, reading the words that had just appeared.

"So. You're some special shit."

Dazai let out a flat laugh. Indeed he was.

"It says 'More evil will soon come in Yokohama'. Right, Dazai?"

Dazai nodded blindly. He couldn't remember that one, but maybe it was because it was on his back. It was hard to read from a mirror.

"You should tell your agency this. Have you told them?"

Dazai's silence was the same as a confirmation. Chuuya mumbled something about how he always had to make his life worse, although Dazai knew that it was halfhearted.

After Dazai put on every single one of his bandages, thoroughly covering every inch of skin along with his other clothes, Chuuya and he walked in silence for a little. Usually, they would've been arguing all the way back, making the silence feel even worse.

"Oy. Dazai."

Chuuya growled when Dazai didn't make any move to answer before sighing and backing down. Dazai blinked, seeing that for the first time, Chuuya had backed down from an argument.

"We were partners before. Are we still partners?"

Dazai smiled.

"If we're partners, I'll be annoying you all day! I think that'd be pretty nice ~ "

"Well fuck you too!"

It was nice, feeling the usual annoyance flowing through Chuuya, the same remarks they always passed forth to each other.

"So you're saying we are partners, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes narrowed. What was with Chuuya being overly... nice all of a sudden? Being so calm?

Chuuya, catching Dazai's eyes screeched again before kicking over a trash can.

"I'm saying I can help you with this goddamn book shit! Words! Partners! The fuck is wrong with you?"

Dazai stared as Chuuya knocked over a few more trash cans while screaming about how utterly dumb Dazai could be for someone that was supposed to be so smart, so crafty, and so manipulative.

The familiar tickle of more words caused Dazai to flinch, hand moving toward his neck where the words seemed to be. Chuuya, who was done with his little fit, stopped for a second before walking over, no doubt intrigued. Dazai tugged the bandages down a little bit while Chuuya read the words out loud.

"Fyodor Dostoevsky is looking for another part of the book in Yokohama."

Dazai's eyes widened when he heard the name, and Chuuya no doubt understood that this man was someone dangerous if they could elicit such a reaction from Dazai. They looked at each other, understanding passing through their eyes.

"Well, I guess we're partners again Chuuya!"

"Only because I fucking have to!"

Dazai supposed that he would also have to tell the Agency about this. And as more people knew, the news would inevitably spread to the Mafia too. He only had to make sure that Fyodor didn't receive the information, and that was if Fyodor didn't already know about him.

"Fucking Dazai."

Chuuya grabbed Dazai's hair and pulled, forcing Dazai to yelp while batting Chuuya's hands away.

"We're going to crush this bastard Fyodor."

Dazai laughed at the sheer amount of determination in Chuuya's name, laughing like he never had ever before.

Indeed, Double Black would crush the enemy like they always did.

___________________________

Kind of an abrupt end, but you get the idea :>

[burnedbyshoto]

the marriage contract

chapter one: [begin this journey.]

— Just because your soulmate is Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t mean that he’s the one meant for you; in fact, he’s your worst enemy. With trouble brewing across the way, and with no one able to complete this job except you and Bakugou, there’s nothing you can do except go along with the mission. But wait, what?! You’re supposed to be married?!

pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x pro hero fem!reader

chapter warnings: cursing

word count: 4,093

a/n: in this enemies to lovers story, only you get to decide whether you remain enemies, or if you succeed in becoming lovers. the choice to make is at the end of the story, good luck :D also, background on your quirk (sorry, I had to give you a quirk in order for this to work the way i see fit.) I won’t lie, im really nervous about all this... hopefully this is fun and won’t come and bite me in the ass.

Quirk: Water Sprout - using water from your body, you are able to extract and then use the water (that comes from your body or has come in direct contact with your fingertips) freely. Drawbacks include constant dehydration, dizziness, headaches.

bolded choice is the answer. ~ {masterlist}

[Begin this journey.]     [Turn back now.]

relationship status: enemies.

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

Cosmic and gods, there was nothing in this world that proved these existed.

Nothing.

Nothing in this world could show the nonbeliever that there was an outside force in the world that made people suspect that there were otherworldly ties. Not the appearance of quirks, which was proven to be a genetic mutation as part of humans' evolution, and even the sudden and ancient appearance of The Contract did anything to solidify this - well, at least to some.

Quirks were easy to understand.

Powers, drawbacks, uniqueness.

Oh, it was something that was still so new to the world that people enjoyed it so, but for The Contract, oh how that was different.

The Contract was what was the name of the world wide know phenomenon more known merely as soulmates. Everyone had a fated one, and you would know who they were because every once in a while, a simple choice would appear before you.

A this or that situation.

You would pick one of the options, and somewhere out in the world, there was a person who, despite their own free will, would succumb to your choice. It was as simple as choosing to make someone double knot or single knot their shoes, or sometimes as hard as pulling the plug on a stranger, you had no idea existed. But it had been generations since it had first appeared, and people had grown to accept the inevitable. Which, in turn, brought out new problems.

Soulmates, while fundamentally and theoretically excellent and good, seemed to shock people by the work that needed to be put into them to succeed. Two souls that were perfect for each other didn’t guarantee two people were perfect for one another. The blind, false, true love these people bragged and teetered on was ridiculous and often led to horrible breaks within soulmate bonds. People did not understand that soulmates - just as any other relationship - needed time to fester and grow. It wasn’t an over the counter remedy, it was two people trying to find similarities other than the gods and the cosmics wanting this.

It was rather rough, to say the least.

Most people didn’t mind the growth, waiting for their soulmate to become the person meant for them. Others, well, you were the perfect example of it.

Your entire life, you had thought your soulmate was an asshole, well, scratch that, he IS an asshole. Every chance he got, he would always pick the worst of the two options. He chose for you to reject pursuers in your school days, to trip your siblings, to yell at your parents when you were upset. He picked for you to get up early in middle school and train, to study for tests right when you were about to go out with friends. He was obviously picking the worst things for you (not that you were any better), and so by the bitter age of fifteen when you were put into Shiketsu High School, you were glad to pledge to be someone who wouldn’t accept the soulmate shit for anything.

If he was your soulmate, so be it, but he would never be your lover.

Things in high school and your last year of middle school went reasonably well, the choices the two of you had to make were simple enough. The worst one you remember seeing late one night at the beginning of summer break during your last year of middle school, two options illuminating before you.

[Accept his offer.]     [Decline his offer.]

There was no context for your choice.

But there had been a pit in your stomach, something telling you to chose the bottom one, and you did. Nothing consequential came from that, and you forgot about it with time.

High school went on with usual choices; both of you continue to choose the lesser of two options from what you could tell. The worst thing was rejecting your senior who had asked you out on a date (something he had told you to keep a secret from the school officials), and you had really wanted to go on a date with him… but nonetheless, you survived. Fresh out of high school with your official Hero License under your belt, you had been accepted into Rising Agency, a very new agency founded by a class older than you over at Yuuei - Class 1-A.

The prominent faces being hero Deku, Ground Zero, and Shouto.

Somehow you had passed the interview selection and had been accepted, and your first day went horribly. On account of your quirk, Water Sprout, you had woken up with a mouth drier than a desert, and like you always did, you grabbed your liter bottle and went to chug.

Only two options popped before your eyes the moment you moved the water to your parched mouth.

[Spill the water.]     [Safely drink the water.]

You had tried your hardest to get your lip to the opening, but you knew better. During the time The Contract appeared, time literally froze. Your soulmate was given up to fifteen seconds to choose the answer before the first choice was automatically selected. You had tried to suppress the scream at the back of your throat when the cold, cold water came splashing down on your chest. Spraying all over your bed.

The scream you made when you were soaked to the bone no doubt made your soulmate smile wherever he was.

So you were glad when his options appeared before you a few minutes later.

[Break the sink faucet.]      [Turn off the water.]

With a sniff, you held no remorse when your hand jammed out and hit the option he deserved.

You had arrived at the agency's front door within the next hour, your most formal business clothes were worn fresh and sharp. Your hand held your case with your hero costume and nerves at your stomach. This was it, you had thought, your hands sweating profusely, your mouth so dry you felt faint, and with a quick chug of your water, you entered the facility.

The agency smelled like Pine-Sol and sweets, and you found the front desk immediately but were off-put by a man who was already there. His back hunched over, arms crossed, and placed onto the counter as he seemed to be arguing with the receptionist.

Nearer and nearer you drew, and the more you began to recognize just who the man was: Ground Zero.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

Your heart hammered viciously in your chest as you were finally in earshot of the conversation - it seemed that he was fighting over his new time slots for his routine patrols. But you were no stranger to his… vivacious temperament, and instead of addressing him first, you figured it was in the best interest to simply ask the receptionist what your first steps should be.

But as you opened up your mouth, your internal monologue of what to say blaring on repeat so that you wouldn’t mess up, the world froze, and you panicked.

[Ace the introduction.]      [Fumble the introduction.]

The world was still for five seconds, but never did you ever once experience someone moving within The Contract. So, when Ground Zero’s hand moved and punched in an option that was mirrored right in front of your mouth, you immediately felt the blood in your cheeks from seeing him recoil back to your heart faster than you could blink.

“Hi, I’m Hero, and I’m new? I’m looking for the y/l/n room?”

Horror struck through you immediately at the realization.

Ground Zero was yours...?

He was your…?!

You saw red.

“Hah? What kind of introduction was -- WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Your fist throbbed pathetically still curled near his face, and Ground Zero’s blazing, burning red gaze matched the blood pouring from his busted nose as you panted like a corned animal.

“YOU MADE ME WET MY BED, ASSHOLE!”

So went your first interaction with your soulmate.

Your fist connecting and shattering his nose. Three of his friends holding him back, and three trying to escort you away quickly. It was indeed one for the books.

But that was three years ago, and at the age of twenty-one, you could still not handle the sight, or the presence of your soulmate, and vice versa. The both of you were like oil and water, conflicting and fighting whenever left together for too long, unable to get along. He was not meant for you, and you were not meant for him - it was evident like night and day.

Right decisions were made, however, once knowing who the other one was. The both of you taking track of each other’s patrol schedules to make sure good choices were made at that time, just in case, but as soon as the other was off, payback was a bitch. The entire agency had learned that both of you were soulmates the same day the both of you found out, and there were actual looks of sorrow given to you from his friends?!

Not to mention that his nickname for you was bedwetter now, something that both infuriated and embarrassed you to this day.

Both of you were separated at all times, never once having to work together, that is, until today. A time where we find ourselves back in the beginning.

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

A part of you wanted to roll your eyes at Bakugou’s quip, but in all consideration, you agreed with him ultimately.

“Unfortunately, I’m not,” Yaoyorozu sighed, her mouth pinched and her hands passing both you and Bakugou a small stack of documents for you to read over. You took your file after placing your water bottle down and opened it immediately as Yaoyorozu continued to speak. “Kane, Bryan is an American man who has recently been on Japan’s watchlist. He is highly dangerous, evasive, and a hard man to pin anything on… all we know is that innocent people are going missing when they enter his land, and undercover heroes end up in the sea with no memories, or worse, dead.”

That took you by surprise, and your stomach twisted at that thought.

Heroes have turned up dead?

“I don’t doubt the seriousness that this Kane man brings, but no offense, Creati, why does it have to be a mission for Ground Zero and I?” you asked, your eyes flittering from the blurred photo of the man on your page onto the slightly frowning commandeer of this agency. “We aren’t exactly… a good fighting duo? If what I think you’re asking is correct, why not send in Deku and Ground Zero? They have the best duo track record, I’m sure that they’ll be able to apprehend this man better and faster than we can.”

Yaoyorozu sighed, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip while her fingers drummed on the table, obviously not comfortable telling the full explanation.

“Well, to be honest, he stays on a remote island nearby, and it’s very exclusive.”

You owlishly blinked at Yaoyorozu, who straightened in her chair, a new air of confidence flowing through her that made you almost ask if a choice had been made for her.

“Kane owns a private island that is known for its resort, and to enter the resort, there must be two truths to this,” her eyes were holding yours for a moment, they were deep, so dark that for a second you felt fear tickle at the back of your spine before she turned her attention over to Bakugou. “One: those who may enter must be in a romantic relationship.”

What?

“Two: they must be soulmates.”

“WHAT?!”

You blinked, your head snapping over at Bakugou, who had yelled the same words as you did, obviously not impressed with what they were now enforcing. Oh god, this was not what you were thinking at all!

“Why the hell does it have to check off those two boxes? I’m not going somewhere obviously dangerous and in the middle of nowhere with bed wetter!” Bakugou growled, his feet planted onto the floor as he had his upper lip pulled into a sour face of sorts. “I’ll do it with literally anyone else, ponytail!”

“Unfortunately, that’s not an option,” she sighed, her hand pushing through her bangs with a sad shake of her head. She looked tired, and her exhaustive eyes rose to meet yours, and his, and her voice was weak and oh so pleading. “There is some way they can tell if you’re soulmates, and those we sent out who weren’t already soulmates never made it in. You two are quite literally our only option, without the two of you, we don’t stand a chance.”

“So, can we act as estranged lovers then?” you questioned, your stomach twisting in the thought of having to display any sort of romantic displays with the man sitting right next to you. “We can be a couple trying to work on our relationship?”

Yayorozu gulped.

“W-We actually made profiles for the two of you…”

“And?” came Bakugou’s near whisper.

“Y-You’ll be acting as a, well, a newly married couple. This is your honeymoon… I know you two don’t have a good history, and your on field teamwork has never been tried, but I’m pleading to you two now, please consider. You have until tomorrow to tell me if you accept.”

If there had been a choice that appeared for Bakugou to make you slam your head through the desk, you would have thanked him for choosing it.

[Carry all the bags]     [Take only his bags.]

“Thank you!” you chirped with no pity for the situation you had just placed him in, the glint of a sneer flashing across Bakugou’s face was fierce as he took the bags of luggage the two of you had been given from your agency. This was it, it was starting.

The weight of what was to come of this was now starting to hit heavily, the importance of the diamond ring on your finger - a symbol of the fake marriage contract between you and Bakugou felt like a ton. There was no hiding the discomfort the both of you held when you had to act in love, your hand itching to leave his clammy, abnormally warm hands, and you never realized how he mumbled under his breath until you were forced to sit next to him on the private plane. But as you were given two days to prepare for this mission, it didn’t hit you what was happening until you unloaded from the plane.

From the initial observation of the island, you immediately recognized just why the owner was so elusive and able to keep his agenda hidden. The island's natural barriers were bright as day, the rocky mountains seemed entirely inhabitable, and the entire resort was located where the mountains met the beach. Tropics and natural waterholes existed in those parts before slowly blending into the white sand beaches with water so blue and clean that you genuinely wished you would be having a good time.

You hated having to remind yourself that you were here for the sake of a mission and not to simply lay out, well, it was easy to forget that until Bakugou was beside you, and you fought the instinctive reaction to scowl at him. In fact, with your gaze falling onto the blond-haired hero, you didn’t notice the small woman appearing from nowhere, a bright smile on her face and white linen clothes on

“Welcome to Hibani Island!” she chirped, her eyes closing in well-practiced greetings, she spoke with an accent, and with her appearance, you assumed she was American. “My name is Jane, and I’m here to welcome you to our wonderful island! May I please have your names and the choice you had upon arrival?”

Your greeting smile disappeared at that point, your head tilting in confusion, “I’m sorry, our choice?”

“Mhm!” Jane nodded enthusiastically, the same bright smile plastered on her face. “Our wonderful island works in mysterious ways! As you both know, our beautiful resort is only for those who are soulmates; after all, we would never wish to poison her beautiful nature with impure love! Upon entry, with the help of the island, I am able to procure a choice for you and your soulmate to make! Since I posed the question to you,” her glazed over eyes focused on you, “I would appreciate it if your partner answered!”

There was a silence, and it couldn’t have lasted any more than a few seconds in all reality. But in that still, you could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up, there was obviously something entirely wrong here.

“A choice about who would carry the luggage in,” Bakugou calmly, smoothly answered, his voice somehow not picking up on any suspicion. “Be -- Y/n chose that I would carry them all.”

The way your name passed his lips made your spine stiffen, it felt weird, unnatural, fake.

Well, this entire thing is fake, you reminded yourself, grateful that Jane was at the moment impressed by Bakugou’s correct statement.

“Well, wonderful! I’m so glad that our island can greet two beautiful soulmates today! Your names? So that I may check you both in?”

“Nakamura Katsuki and Y/n.”

“Amazing! Let’s get you to the main lobby, and they’ll set you two love birds up!”

Thankfully, Jane was a woman who didn’t mind talking to herself the entire way over to the resort’s main lobby, she spoke wonders of how the hot springs were especially “magically” at night, and promised that a trip during that time would lead to “the best of fantasies.” The resort itself was oddly busy. Couples were everywhere, each in their own world, yet all orbiting around one another, never once mixing.

The white sundress you wore suddenly felt too simple, especially with the stupid designer wear most people were wearing.

Jane escorted you to the front desk, and with one last overenthusiastic smile, she disappeared.

“Check us in, Joo Dee just about made me fucking lose it,” Bakugou grumbled, his patience hanging on a much thinner thread than yours apparently.

“Glad to know it takes only one super smiley person to ruin your day,” you couldn’t help but snip, the rolling of your eyes only stopped when the front desk clerk began to walk over, a bright smile on his face, and his hand waving in greeting.

You opened your mouth, ready to begin talking when his welcome rang clearly in your ears, but just as it happened all those years ago, the world froze.

[Ace the introduction.]     [Fumble the introduction.]

The prideful, arrogant smirk on his face seemed to burn into your back as he stared from behind you.

“Hi, I would like it.”

Your voice gave out, and with burning cheeks, you and the front desk clerk stared at each other, the awkward silence biting into your throat. The clerks’ smile, breaking slightly in his second-hand embarrassment and wonder as to why you stopped talking, but despite wanting to continue speaking your voice refused to work again.

Bakugou Katsuki was an asshole.

“Are you here to check in?” he asked, his eyes searching yours in hopes that was what you were here for.

With a burning face, you nodded, and the check-in proceeded.

The clerk, who introduced himself as Ryan Locke, quickly checked you and Bakugou into your rooms. He pulled out a simple paper map and circled the small house - yes, small house - that the two of you would be residing in. Just as the package the two of you purchased, both of you would be here in two months, and the entire time everything would be included. Name it, and it would be brought to the room, well, house. You nodded, trying to take everything he was throwing at you in, not at all relying on Bakugou, who was standing by the window staring at the other guests with a frown on his face.

PDA was not something either one of you were comfortable with.

“Well, that’s it from me! Should you need any assistance, please do not hesitate to call!” Ryan smiles, the crinkles by his eyes creasing, even more, washing you over with ease despite the tension in your body. You heard Bakugou approach the two of you, and with him beside you, Ryan seemed to remember something as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And, there is a couples event tonight, should you and your husband want to join! Most couples do, and by the look of it, it may help re-spark things?”

A sour rancid taste crawled at the back of your throat as you awkwardly laughed, your fronts were weaker then you thought, and shook your head, “Oh no! That’s no issue! We’re actually here on our honeymoon,” your fingers pressed to your chest, your eyes trailing to where Bakugou was standing in hopes that it somehow looked romantic. Pet names were a thing, right? But what to call him? “Uh, K-Kacchan is actually super shy with PDA!”

You froze when the only nickname you’ve ever heard used toward Bakugou fumble clumsily from your tongue.

Kacchan?!

KACCHAN?!

WERE YOU SUDDENLY DEKU?!

“Oh! Yes, I understand now!” Ryan laughed, waving off his mistake, the apples of his cheeks dusting in what you could only pray to be embarrassment. “Well, if you want to help your Kacchan here express his love for you without care of the world, tonight’s session is the place to be!”

He turned and walked away with a final smile, most likely retreating to the ringing phone in the back room.

“I swear to god, do not ever call me that shitty nickname ever again, or else I’ll explode your ass,” Bakugou hissed, his hand grabbing you by the elbow as he had you in close.

“I’ll call you whatever I damn please!” you hissed back, ripping your elbow out of his hold.

You watched as his upper lip twitched, and he moved to go grab your luggage, something The Contract still held over him. You stood with the papers that Ryan had given to you, the stack of itineraries and options of what the both of you two could do while at your stay taking far more room in your arm then you thought was acceptable. Your concentration on your fake husband - as you kept vehemently reminding yourself - broke when the door opened and in walked a woman who was alone, and headphones on her ears. You offered her a smile when eye contact was made but did nothing more.

Bakugou leaned down, his hands lifting up the luggage, most definitely annoyed with rolling the large suitcases. But with the woman’s course and the way that Bakugou’s back was towards her, having not noticed her entry at all, you could see that they were going to collide. Essential items were in that suitcase, and you had no idea if they could break if Bakugou managed to drop them after crashing with her. But again, it would be payback for the embarrassing first encounter with Ryan!

But before you could make up your mind on what to do, the world froze.

[Crash into her.]     [Avoid her.]

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(make sure to vote for the choice to be chosen!)  poll closes august 30 8am pst

[suzuki-violin-school]

Friends in High Places

I have no fucking idea what this is, I'm so sorry

Masterlist Next Chapter>>

Content: yakuza bullshit, mentions of a concussion, mentions of drugs, implications of abuse (but it's overhaul and eri so we been knew)

Y/n L/n was covered in dirt.

Not literally, of course- She made a point of keeping herself well-groomed and well-dressed at all times. She walked with her head held high and a hand loosely clutching the strap of whatever designer bag she’d choose on any given day.

No, Y/n had gone swimming in a pool of crime and come out dripping.

Fresh out of school, she’d been working in the hell that is retail, working as a cashier in a local drug store.

There was a kid who came in every day after school was out, always buying the same things: A magazine, two candy bars, and a soda. He was always alone, and eventually he and Y/n got to know each other, if only a little. There had been many times he came up a few cents or a dollar short, and Y/n would let it slide, knowing he’d be back the next day with the proper pocket change. One day, after closing up, she’d been pinned to the locked door, a couple o’ thugs demanding her wallet and threatening to rape her. Some god was on her side though, since a man came up and saved her, knocking out the muggers and calling a hero agency to come clean them up.

It had been a little awkward as he took her by the waist and started walking away with her.

“Y/n L/n, right? You’re the one my son talks about all the time.”

“Your son?”

“Mio, the little one who loves soda.”

“…He talks about me?”

“Yes. Here, let me walk you home. Where do you live?”

It had been a weird night, but Y/n had made friends with the man, and he’d given her his card when she got home, telling her to call him if she ever needed anything. She was nice to his boy, which was rare because people often mocked his quirk. Since their interactions were always brief, she had no idea what Mio’s quirk was, and she certainly didn’t know he was made fun of.

The first time she’d called him was because she’d gotten lost late at night, and she knew he was one to stay up late. She’d expected him to come, but he instead sent a personal driver. The driver also gave her his card, and said that she could call at any time and a car would come to pick her up.

That was about the time she realized something wasn’t quite right. The next time she’d called Mio’s father was at a party. Her friends had dragged her out to a party at some boy’s house where they all got hammered, and the guys were starting to get touchy and ignoring the word “stop”. Why she called him and not one of the drivers (Nori and Sofu, they were both very nice people) was a mystery to her. However, it was Mio’s father who came to pick her up that time.

When he’d dropped her off at her house, he’d mentioned that he would be gone for a while. He gave her his address, asking her to check in on Mio every now and then, and told her that it would be safer for her to travel with Nori or Sofu rather than walk or take a train.

She asked why, and she’d been less surprised than either of them expected when he quietly told her about his involvement with the Yakuza. She didn’t ask where he was going or why he’d be gone, only how long he might be away. The answer was unclear, but she promised to drop by his home and spend time with Mio every now and then.

One day, she called for a car and got some new, unfamiliar driver, someone saying Mio’s father needed her to go somewhere and talk to someone for him.

Don’t worry, if he does anything to you, we’ll make sure to ‘send a message’.

Y/n had agreed, reluctantly, and she didn’t know why. Whatever this was, it was more dangerous than anything she’d ever done before.

It wasn’t as bad as she’d anticipated. A stranger took her to a nice restaurant for lunch, said a few scary things, and he’d given her a thick stack of money before they parted ways that she was meant to give Mio’s father. Later on, she learned he’d slipped another business card in her pocket.

“Did he have anything to say?”

“He said to tell you not to be late next time.”

“Did he do anything to you?”

“No.”

Why did I keep the card a secret? I should’ve told him.

A few weeks later, she got a call from an unknown number, but recognized it from the card. Going against her better judgement, she answered the call.

“L/n, am I correct?”

“…Who’s asking?”

“Meet me in the parking lot of that drug store you work at. Don’t bring Sofu or Nori. …It’s about Mio, but our boss doesn’t want his father to hear about this.”

Y/n went to meet the stranger. For Mio, of course, not to sate her own personal curiosity.

The meeting was about quirk supplements and medicine- That was how Y/n found out that Mio had gotten sick. Who are you, she asked the stranger. Part of a different Yakuza clan, he answered. Clans were few and far between, but Y/n seemed to be a magnet.

She wasn’t part of either clan, but she was a peaceful go-between. Both sides started taking care of her. Mio’s father made sure she could move around the city safely, the other clan made sure no one messed with her.

A third clan came about that paid her just to come by and talk to their boss (that was her favorite- he was a nice old man, getting paid was just a bonus).

It was strange, being doted on by so many dangerous strangers, but she couldn’t complain. She had personal chauffeurs, she was pampered, and she had all the money she could spend. She quit her part-time job at the drugstore and while she originally hadn’t changed too much else of her lifestyle, she’d learned to embrace it. Rich and invincible. She walked like it, talked like it, dressed like it, and liked it.

One day, she got several calls in a row.

Mio had been transported to a hospital after suffering a concussion. His father had called the ambulance, but was promptly arrested as his boy was being carted away. Mio’s father’s clan was beginning to disband, meaning Nori and Sofu had both quit their driving jobs and gone into hiding. She was told to check on Mio every now and then, but also to forget everything she knew about his dad’s clan.

A call from her second clan came in, stating that they’d heard about the other clan disbanding. If she needed a personal driver, they’d send someone. We'll provide what you lost, they’d said.

Then another call, one she disliked even more than all the others.

“Hello?”

“The boss is gone.”

“…Gone?”

“Not dead, if that’s what you mean. Totally comatose, though. No need for you to come back.”

“Wait- But won’t your clan fall apart without him?”

“No.”

And then he hung up.

Y/n stared at her phone in disbelief. Had she just been cut out of a deal? The Teikyo Buzoku, now the Shie Hassaikai?  She was only left with one clan now.

…I might not be an official part of any clan, but I’m valuable. I’m a highly respected figure. Last time we spoke, he gave me a nickname and told me I was important to him, now he’s in a coma and I mean nothing to the rest of them?

“Bullshit,” Y/n grumbled. She fiddled with her phone for a moment before dialing another number. “Hello? Sofu, I need you here, now.”

“…I’m sorry. I can’t come,” Sofu said. “I’m sure you already know the clan went down. Nori and I can’t come for you.”

“I said now, Sofu,” Y/n repeated. “This isn’t about the Buzoku.”

Sofu went quiet for a moment before sighing.

“Let me get my keys. Are you at your house?”

“Yes.”

“Destination?”

“…Shie Hassaikai.”

“Okay.”

Y/n could hear the disappointed resignation in the sigh Sofu let out just before hanging up. She’d said the ride wasn’t Teikyo Buzoku business, but not that it wasn’t Yakuza business.

Y/n was never the one to conduct any business. She didn’t make deals or sign contracts, buy or sell products, but it was time she stepped forward and made her mark. She wasn’t just some innocent girl the Yakuza looked after anymore. She held a unique position within her underground community. She had power, and now was the time to start using it.

Y/n shuffled around her house as she waited for Sofu, brushing her hair and changing clothes. She needed to look the part of ‘high-class woman you don’t want to fuck with’ if she was about to play that card.

The Shie Hassaikai wanted to fuck her over? The old boss was gone and the person stepping up to lead the clan wanted her out? Whoop-dee-fuckin-do. No how, no chance, no way. Even if their boss was down for the count, she wanted her money, and she was prepared to make offers.

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts, and she grabbed a nice coat hanging near her front door as she left, swiftly following Sofu into his car and strapping in for the ride.

“Meeting with the Hassaikai?” Sofu asked. He knew not to pry into these matters, but small talk is small talk, and Y/n was usually a very nice woman.

“Yes,” she said simply. “They’re trying to cut me out of a deal. I’m not usually the one cleaning up messes, but I’m sure this is what Mio and his father would want.”

“I think Mio would like it better if you got yourself out of this mess and stopped associating with the Yakuza.”

“…We’re here, let me out.”

Sofu sighed again as he parked a block away from Y/n’s destination. She nodded a thanks to him as he drove away before she started walking.

Someone else was just arriving at the same time as her, a tall brunet wearing a sanitary mask. Y/n recognized him from what the boss had told her during their long chats.

“…You must be Chisaki,” she said cautiously, following him into the building’s courtyard. He stopped walking as soon as the gates closed, not turning to face her.

“Who are you?” He asked sharply.

“I’m a close friend,” Y/n answered simply. “I received a call about the boss, I wanted to see him.”

“He isn’t receiving visitors.”

“It wasn’t a question,” Y/n said firmly. She raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one that called me.”

Chisaki turned over his shoulder to glare at her, realizing who she was.

“So?”

“I came to talk,” Y/n said sternly. “I assume you’re Kai Chisaki? I’m here to strike a deal.”

He turned around, raising an eyebrow at Y/n.

“…Tell me more about this ‘deal’,” he said slowly, already aware that this wasn’t Y/n’s strong suit. She was known in Yakuza communities, which meant he knew what she was all about. She was here to talk about money.

“The boss told me a bit about you,” Y/n said smoothly. “That you have plans for the Shie Hassaikai that, while he didn’t approve of, were admittedly fairly genius. He never went into detail. Why don't you tell me a bit about your ideas to resurrect the dying Yakuza groups and maybe we can talk about finding a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

A bit of sucking up never hurts. The boss confided his concerns to me about Chisaki’s wild, unethical ideas. Just a smidge of lying and some smooth talking should get me just what I want.

Chisaki was on edge. Y/n wasn’t known for solving her own problems. He wasn’t expecting such an eloquent proposal, nor was he expecting to hear that the boss, in a way, did like his ideas. Even if he didn’t like them, he thought he was smart.

Chisaki paused for just a moment, turning the situation over in his head. He gestured for Y/n to follow him.

“Come inside,” he said, leading her to the living room of the faux-home above his clan’s main base. They both sat across from each other on the couches. “Let’s hear your proposal first.”

“I got paid for coming around and keeping the boss company, that’s it,” Y/n said. “We both enjoyed our time together. He’s a nice man. It’s a shame he’s not around, but I need that money. Shie Hassaikai pays my rent.”

“Don’t you have other clans to rely on?” Chisaki asked suspiciously.

“The Teikyo Buzoku was busted late last night,” Y/n said seriously. “That only leaves the Shie Hassaikai, the Dai Megumi, and the other two clans left in Japan. You’re a dying breed, that’s why you came up with your little resurrection plan, right? Bring glory back to the Yakuza?”

“So what exactly are you asking of me? Of us?” Chisaki asked, crossing his legs and leaning his head in his hand.

“Just the same financial support as before. I just want the money,” Y/n stated simply. “And, if your plan works, I want a cut of the glory. Now. Your turn. I never got a full briefing on what your plans really are.”

“…And how do we know you won’t be leaking information to other clans?”

Y/n laughed.

“Are you kidding? I would never,” she said, both offended and amused. “I’m in a very unique position regarding Yakuza clans. I don’t much interfere with double-crossing or spying or leaking information. I don’t belong to any clan. The leader of the Buzoku called me a ‘free spirit of the darkness’.”

Y/n chuckled to herself.

“Free spirit of the darkness?” Chisaki repeated skeptically. “Why should I tell you anything if you aren’t even involved with us?”

“Just because I’m not a part of a Yakuza clan doesn’t mean I’m not involved with the Yakuza,” Y/n said firmly. “You don’t get this rich this young that fast without a little help.”

“So you really are just here for the money, then.”

“This whole Yakuza thing started by me being nice to a little boy who was a regular customer at a drug store I used to work at,” Y/n said. “I have a friend, I’m safe, and I’m rich. What else do I really need?”

Chisaki looked her over carefully.

“What I’m about to tell you is absolutely confidential,” he said sternly. “Know that we won’t hesitate to eliminate you if you do something stupid.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Y/n said seriously. “But know that I have friends in high places who wouldn’t be too happy.”

“Noted,” Chisaki said. “The boss has a granddaughter named Eri who has quite the remarkable Quirk.”

“I’ve heard a little bit about her,” Y/n said, nodding. “Her mother gave her up because Eri made her husband disappear…?”

“After some testing, we learned she has the power to rewind things,” Chisaki explained. “We think she rewound her father into nothingness.”

“Interesting,” Y/n said slowly. “That is a remarkable quirk. She can rewind anything she wants?”

“Actually, she has no control over her power,” Chisaki said. “So not anything she wants. It just happens.”

“That’s unfortunate. A quirk like that could be applied so many ways,” Y/n said. “I assume she’s part of your grand master plan?”

“She is at the heart of it, yes,” Chisaki answered. “The Shie Hassaikai is a tekiya clan. Can I assume you know where this is headed?”

Y/n paused for a moment.

“If Eri’s at the heart of a plan involving the creation or distribution of drugs, then I can’t imagine it’s anything ethical,” she said, growing suspicious. Chisaki raised an eyebrow at her.

“Then do we end here?”

“No, I want to know the rest of it,” Y/n said. “It’s actually pretty interesting so far. It’s starting to seem morally corrupt, but I want to hear it.”

“I’ve been distilling Eri’s power to create rewinding bullets,” Chisaki explained. He narrowed his eyes. “This quirk-filled society has become a magnet for filth. These bullets rewind targets to a time before these disgusting quirks existed. So far, the effects are only temporary.”

“Is Eri okay with this? Is she aware of your project?”

“…Yes,” Chisaki said. “She’s not fond of the idea, but she’s cooperative.”

“Can I- Can I meet her? Is that too much to ask?”

Chisaki froze for a moment.

This could be a chance. Y/n was friends with the young son of that other Yakuza clan leader, so maybe she’d click with Eri and make her less… Bothersome. He understood the girl was scared, but that was one small sacrifice in a much bigger picture.

“Another time,” he decided. “For now, we need to agree to a few terms.”

“What do you propose?” Y/n asked. “In place of keeping the boss company, I have a few different ideas on earning this pay.”

…This is starting to feel a lot like a job interview.

“Interesting. Eri needs a friend,” Chisaki said. “Keep her entertained instead, you’ll retain the income. Deal?”

“Is there a catch?” Y/n asked, not wanting to agree without knowing all the details.

“Eri can be a little… Out of control,” Chisaki answered slowly. “She has no control over what activates her quirk and when, and she likes to throw tantrums. She’s defiant.”

“That’s understandable, given that she doesn’t approve of your quirk-removing bullets,” Y/n said. “I can deal with a kid throwing a few temper tantrums now and then. I say we’ve come to terms.”

Chisaki extended a gloved hand, watching Y/n’s own hand carefully as she shook on the deal.

“Alright, then,” he said. “You should go. You’re interrupting business.”

“Right,” Y/n said, standing up. She bowed formally. “Thank you for your time, sorry for the disruption, I’ll see you again soon.”

=

Taglist: (Want to be on it? Fill this out!) @izuushi @adminbryantsaki @jodrawssmut @doinmybesthere @myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants @burnedbyshoto @a-mongoose @sageyrage @nightwingsgirl @devilgirlcrybabiey @itszero16

[littlesystems]

For the people who are out there “fighting the good fight” and “trying to make fandom a better place,” I have two important questions for you:

1. Is the author dead? x

2. Is your baby in the bathwater? x

What do I mean by those things? Let’s start with #1. The Death of the Author is a type of literary criticism, the extreme cliff notes version of which is that art exists outside of the creator’s life, personal background, and even intentions. I’m using it slightly differently than Barthes intended, but that’s okay, because the author is dead and I’m interpreting his work through my own lens.

In fandom, the author is dead. In fact, the author was never alive in the first place, not really. The author has only ever been the idea of a person, because unlike published fiction, the only thing we know about a fanfic author is that which they choose to tell us about themselves.

Why is that important?

Because it might not be true. Hell, that happens in real life with published authors, who have SSN’s on file with their publishers, who pay taxes on the works they create and have researchable pasts. If the author of A Million Little Pieces could fake everything, why can’t I? Why can’t you? Why can’t the writer of your favorite fic in the whole wide world?

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: “you can only write about [sensitive subject] if [sensitive subject] has happened to you personally, otherwise you’re a disgusting monster that deserves to die!!” Or maybe “you can only write [x racial or ethnic group] characters if you’re [x racial or ethnic group] otherwise you’re racist/fetishizing/colonizing!”

You can play this game with any sensitive subject you can come up with. I’ve seen them all before, on a sliding scale of slightly chastising to literal death threats.

Now, I could tell you that I’m a white-passing Latina whose grandmother was an anchor baby. I could tell you that I speak only English because my family never taught me to speak Spanish, something which I’ve been told is common in the Cuban community, though I only know my own lived experience. I could tell you that I’m mostly neurotypical. I could tell you that I’m covered in surgical scars. I could tell you lots of things.

Are any of these true? Maybe! I could tell you that my brother has severe mental development problems, so uncommon that they’ve never been properly diagnosed, and that he will live the rest of his life in a group home with 24-hour care. Is that true? Am I allowed to write about families struggling with America’s piss-poor services for the handicapped now?

Am I allowed to write about being Cuban? After all, I did just say that I’m Cuban. But is it true? Can I instead write a character that’s Panamanian? Maybe I really am Panamanian, not Cuban. Maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m neither. Maybe I’m really French Canadian. Should we require people to post regular selfies? I can’t count the number of times I’ve had someone come up to me speaking Arabic, and I’ve been told that I look Syrian. What’s stopping me from making a blog that claims that I am Syrian? Can you even really tell someone’s race and ethnicity from a photo?

Am I allowed to write about being a teenager? Am I allowed to write about being a college student? Am I allowed to write about being an “adulty” adult? Can I write a character who’s 40? 50? 60? How old am I?

All of this is to say: you can’t base what someone is or is not “allowed” to write about on a background that may or may not be real. No matter how good your intentions. And I get it - this usually comes from a place of well-meaning. You’re trying to protect marginalized groups by stopping privileged people from trampling all over experiences that they haven’t suffered. I get that. It’s a very noble thought. But you can’t require a background check for every fic that you don’t like.

If you say “you can only write about rape if you’re a rape victim,” then one of three things will happen:

Real survivors will have to supply intimate details of their own violations to prevent harassment

Real survivors will refuse to engage and will then have to deal with death threats and people telling them to kill themselves for daring to write about their own experiences

People who aren’t survivors will say “yeah sure this happened to me” just to get people to shut up

Has that helped anyone? I mean really - anyone??

So now let’s get to point #2: is your baby in the bathwater?

If your intention is to protect marginalized people from being trampled upon, stop and assess if your boot is the one that’s now stamping on their face. Find your baby! Is your baby in the bathwater? Which is to say: find the goal that you’re advocating for. Now assess. Are you making the problem worse for the people you’re trying to protect? Does that rape victim really feel better, now that you’ve harassed and stalked them in the name of making rape victims feel safe?

Let’s say you read a fic that contains explicit sex between a 16 year old and a 17 year old. Is this okay? Would it be okay if the writer was 15? 16? 17? Should teenagers be barred from writing about their own lives, and should teenagers be banned from exploring sexuality in a fictional bubble, instead of hookup culture? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about their experiences as a teenager? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about being raped at a party as a teenager? Is it okay for a 30 year old? How about a 40 year old? Is it okay so long as it isn’t titillating? Is it okay if taking control of the narrative allows the writer to re-conceptualize their trauma as something they have control over? Is it okay if their therapist told them that writing is a safe creative outlet?

Is your author dead?

Is your baby in the bathwater?

Now let’s take a hardline approach: no fanfiction with characters who are under 18 years old. None. Is the 16 year old who really loves Harry Potter and wants to read/write about characters their own age better off? Should they be banned from writing? Should they be forced to exclusively read and write (adult) experiences that they haven’t lived? Will they write about teens anyway? Should they have to share it in secret? Should 16 year olds be ashamed of themselves? Should we just throw in with the evangelicals and say that the only answer is abstinence, both real and fictional?

Let’s say that no rape is allowed in fiction, at all. None. What happens to all the hurt/comfort fics where a character is raped and then receives the support and love that they deserve, slowly heal, and by the end have found themselves again? Are you helping rape victims by banning these stories? Are you helping rape victims by stripping their agency away, by telling them that their wants and their consent doesn’t matter?

Is your baby in the bathwater?

Fandom is currently being split in two: on one side, the people who want to make fandom a “safer” place by any means necessary, even if that means throwing out all of the marginalized groups they say they want to protect - and on the other, people who are saying “if you throw out that bathwater, you’re throwing the baby out too.”

The whole point of fandom is to be able to explore all kinds of ideas from the safety and comfort of a computer screen. You can read/write things that fascinate you, disgust you, titillate you, or make your heart feel warm. This is true of all fiction. People who want to read about rape and incest and extreme violence and torture can go pick up a copy of Game of Thrones from the bookstore whenever they want. Sanitizing fandom just means holding a community of people who are primarily not male, not straight, not cis, or some combination of those three, to higher and stricter standards than straight white cis male authors and creators all over the world.

There is nothing you can find on AO3 that you can’t find in a bookstore. Any teenager can go check out Lolita, or ASOIAF, or Flowers in the Attic, or Stephen King's It, or Speak, or hundreds of other books that have adult themes or gratuitous violence or graphic sex. The difference is that AO3 has warnings and tags and allows people to interact only with the types of work that they want to, and allows people to curate their experiences.

Are these themes eligible to be explored, but only in the setting of something produced/published? Books, movies, television, studio art, music - all of these fields have huge barriers to entry, and they’re largely controlled by wealthy cishet white men. Is it better to say that only those who have the right connections to “make it” in these industries should be allowed to explore violence or sexuality or any other so-called “adult” theme?

Does banning women from writing MLM erotica make fan culture a better place?

Does banning queer people from writing about queer experiences make fan culture a better place?

Is M/M fic okay, but only if the author is male? What if he’s a trans man? What if they’re NB? Who should get to draw those lines? Should TERFs get a vote? What if the author is a woman who feels more comfortable writing from a male character’s perspective because she’s grown up with male stories her whole life, or because she identifies more with male characters? What about all the trans men who discovered themselves, in part, by writing fanfiction, and realized that their desires to write male characters stemmed from something they hadn’t yet realized about themselves?

How can we ever be sure that the author is who they say they are?

Who is allowed to write these stories? How do we enforce it?

Is it better for none of these stories to ever exist at all?

Have you killed your author?

Have you thrown out your baby with the bathwater?

[apenapaperandadoofus]

in relation to my drowsy share, anyway can we have the rfa + minor trio's take on an mc that is so crazy for a fictional character meanwhile they are in love with mc? they be like: hELLo - crackhead anon

Hey there crackhead anon! I’ve missed yaaaaa

RFA+minor trio with an MC who is in love with fictional characters (instead of them *insert sad violin music*)

Part 2 here!

Zen:

Aight listen

At first he’s chill about it

He just thinks you don’t know how to pick up hints, because he’s literally been flirting with you for a while now

But then, after time passes and you still don’t realize he’s hitting on you, and you’re still sort of fangirling over this fictional character, he WILL be a bit mad

I mean why do you need to romance 2d boys when he’s there??? Do you just not like him??? What was wrong with him, mC pLeAsE

Truth be told, he will try and act like your anime/game character. He WILL do it, all he can to get you to understand he LIKES you

You like angry bois? He will become an angry boy. Tsunderes? Well, it’s not like he l-likes you or anything baka! Cool flirty type? He will up his game

Although it takes a while, Zen finds out one of your favorite confessions from your favorite game, and decides to copy it! He will be all romantic and everything

Thankfully you were FINALLY able to understand that he likes you, and it’ll probably be a funny story you tell everyone in the RFA

Yoosung:

Angry boi angry boi

Yoosung has never flirted in his life

Well, he’s not good at it, it’s not something he has really done before

Imagine the PAIN this poor guy must be through when he finally takes the courage to flirt and...

You don’t get it

HOW?

Zen has even tried giving Yoosung some advice, which usually works,but you’re still not picking up his hints!

One day Yoosung finds you smiling at your phone screen and he’s lowkey ready to fuck a bitch up

But then he sees you’re playing a game... ANS GETS EVEN MORE JEALOUS

I mean, come on! You’re choosing an AI over him? Why MC WHY T_T

After curling up in his bed and crying for three hours, Yoosung decided to just tell you and get it over with.

He was really scared, and his hands shook as he dialed up your number.

You immediatly answered, which made him let out a little yelp, and after a bit of stammering Yoosung decided to confess his feelings for you.

“I...I love you Y/N. And, I-I know I’m not exactly your type of guy...like the ones in your game. I’m not really like...like them but I, I promise I will do my best to become the type of man you want to be with!”

....

“Y/N please speak I am panicking.”

You laughed. “It’s alright Yoosung. Truth is...I like you too...and you’re exactly like the guy in my game, why do you even think I was romancing him? You don’t have to change, I love you for who you are.”

Yoosung tried his best to hold back his tears, and after the two of you hung up he gave a little WHOOP

Jaehee:

So, Jaehee was really taken aback when she realized that she had feelings for you. After all, she never really thought about having a partner before

She was really new to the experience. Sure, she had been confessed to in her high school days (I mean look at her she probably got so many love letters AHG) but that was all she knew.

So she went to Zen for advice, which was great! The thing neither of you had planned though, was that you would be far too focused on your anime waifus to realize that Jaehee was flirting with you

Honestly she isn’t even mad. She’s just confused. I mean, she gets what it’s like idolizing someone, but I mean, Zen was real.

So Jaehee lays low for a while. To be honest, she feels a bit jealous whenever you gush and fawn over this character, or this other character, because your eyes light up in such a beautiful way, she can’t help but want them to light up like that for her.

After months and months, Zen finally decides to tell you that Jaehee likes you. He had taken you out to dinner, and you almost dropped your fork when he told you.

Immediatly, he drove you to Jaehee’s house. She came out in her cute pijamas, with no glasses on. You were honestly about to die.

After saying bye (and thanks) to Zen, you went to sit with Jaehee in her living room, and there you confessed your feelings for her. Jaehee was super confused,after all you would never shut up about the character you liked, and she really believed she had no shot. Yet, here you are, confessing to her. Jaehee can’t help but smile and blush.

She will always tease you about your character crushes, but she understands you. She has even found a few of her own! (But she’ll never tell you.)

Jaehee thinks it’s really funny how you never understood that she was trying to give you hints, or even the time she used a pick up line on you (Zen’s idea) and you two laugh about it when you lay in bed, cuddling.

Jumin:

He is very confused

First of all, he’s dealing with a LOT of emotions right now

And then second, when he decided to express his feelings for you, you don’t really understand?

Which is super confusing, I mean, it always works in his soap operas

Instead though, you are in love with a fictional character.

Excuse me what?

Jumin really doesn’t understand

MC he’s fake pls love me

Honestly I think this would lead to a really funny montage of Jumin buying you super expensive things, and making the biggest romantic gestures, while you just remain clueless as to what’s going on lol

He gets a whole orchestra to play your favorite song, he always gets you your favorite flowers or chocolates, he’s always doing the most romantic things he can find on the internet! (Yes he had to look up how to flirt lol)

One day, you’re both talking on the phone, and it’s late at night. The moon and stars are getting the both of you super sentimental, and at one point while Jumin is looking out into the balcony, he smiles and then whispers your name.

You immediatly stop talking and blush like crazy. Then, before you could say anything else, he starts speaking again.

“Y/N. There’s something really important I have to tell you. In all my life...no one has ever gotten to make me...make me feel so much. I’ve always been told to bury my emotions, to never show them. Then you came along and I found that I could never stop myself from...from feeling...I’ve never felt like this before, the feeling of loving someone, of cherishing someone. They weren’t feelings I hadn’t known until I met you. You have changed my life. And I mean it, Y/N. I have become more open, it’s as if my heart was a frozen lake and then you came and melted me away and well, what I’m trying to say is that I love you.”

“Jumin that was the best confession ever, I- I love you too!”

Afterwards Jumin is fine with you going crazy for a fictional character, as long as he always ends up getting tons of hugs and kisses too.

Jumin was never really jealous, except the times when he left for business trips, because he knew that some games had these audios to help you sleep (you told him a while ago) and that was the only thing that made him a bit worried.

One time when he came home early, you jumped up from your bed where you were playing and ran up to hug Jumin. Your phone screen was still on and he could see the character smiling seductively at you. He may or may not have stuck his tongue out at it for a split second (he had all the right to though, I mean why would you want a fictional character when you have JUMIN ajfbdbsb)

Saeyoung:

So, after the whole ME ordeal was over, you two still hadn’t really tied the knot. You weren’t even together.

Saeyoung had realized that he liked you, more than he’s ever liked a person before, and he felt that it was alright now...after all, there was no more agency, or weird cults or whatever.

He thought it would be fine.

Oh how wrong he was

Saeyoung does have his own way of showing his affections, by bulding apps or robots, anything of the sort! Yet you still didn’t seem to understand that he liked you

Instead you were head over heels for this one guy in a stupid game.

Listen, Saeyoung was pretty jealous alright? He kept trying to flirt but you didn’t understand, and you actually seemed to be in love with a fictional character! What was he supposed to do now?

Well eventually he figured out how to make his feelings clear for you.

One night, you opened up your game after a long day. You loaded your file and hummed the games background music as you progressed through the story, and giggled whenever your favorite character would appear.

Then, when your favorite cutscene was about to happen, your computer froze.

You frowned and gently tapped the screen, seeing if that would make it work. But no.

You panicked and clicked your screen, trying to restart your computer, to close the application, just to figure out what was wrong.

Then suddenly some text appeared, as if from the game, and a sprite you had never seen before (but was familiar) appeared on the screen.

Saeyoung?

You raised an eyebrow and went out into the living room, looking at the camera and trying to ask Seven what was going on, but he didn’t seem to reply.

You then grabbed your computer and kept clicking through the game.

“Y/N” it said. “It’s me! God7! Aren’t you feeling so grateful right now? Knowing that the one and only Savior of Justice is right here, inside your computer! Not everyone gets this sort of treatment you know? Anyway, the thing is, I hope you’re not mad that I hacked into your game. Oh, don’t worry though! I will fix it as soon as we’re done talking...well...the thing is....Y/N. I know it’s really weird that I’m talking to you through this, but I feel like it’s the only way I can get you to understand how you make me feel. Thanks to you I got my brother back, and the RFA is closer than ever. I don’t even have an agency to work for anymore. You’ve done so much for all of us. And the thing is, during that process I...I fell in love with you. I love your smile, your voice, your eyes, your face, everything. Yet you only seem to have eyes for that game character, hmph! How dare he try to get between my beautiful 606 and me!? To be honest...I don’t know if you like me back. For all I know you’re ready to marry that one guy, but I just have to be honest now, and tell you how I feel. That’s all. You don’t have to reply yet though! I’m sorry I can’t be like those guys in your games, but I’ll show you that 707 can be way better than them! Anyway, I think I’ve kept you for too long. I’ll go now...bye!”

A woosh sound effect was heard, and then your computer turned back to normal, your character smiling up at you, the romantic music playing on the background. But you just sat there, blushing.

Seven....liked you?!

Holy shit! And you didn’t even realize!

You quickly turned off your computer and ran over to the living room, getting in clear view of the camera. You waved your arms frantically and smiled at the lens as you said “I love you Saeyoung!”

Did he hear? You didn’t really know. Well not until you heard a knock on your door and when you opened, Saeyoung quickly ran over and hugged you.

He lets you still be crazy for fictional characters, the only rule is that you can’t buy any body pillows of them.

“Why buy them when you have me! Y/N, you know I’m the best quality for a body pillow” he winked at you, and you rolled your eyes.

In conclusion, the two of you always laugh remembering how you never got that he was flirting, and how in love you appeared to be with the fictional character.

[jackrrabbit]

excerpts/tasting menu of upcoming works

You’re in luck anon because this past week my dumbass brain decided to start like 5 different fics and not finish any of them, so I have plenty of things to preview (specific CWs included with each individual section)

As always, encouragement goes a long way for my motivation, so if you see something you’re interested in, give it a shoutout!

Also, all of these are super rough ;///; please have mercy on my pitiable first-draft skills

[BNHA] Spoiled Rotten /// Overhaul x f!Reader

Summary: You’re daddy’s spoiled little princess, but unfortunately daddy’s got debts to the yakuza and Overhaul’s going to make you work them off the hard way.

Warnings: restraints, kidnapping, harassment, drugging

“Do you know why you’re here?”

Against your will, your eyes flip up to the speaker. He’s the only one sitting, and somehow that gives him a position of power among the others. The leader?

Golden eyes rest steadily on yours, and you realize he’s waiting for your answer, so you slowly move your head from side to side.

“Didn’t know about daddy’s bad habits, huh?” This time the person speaking is behind you—the one who untied your blindfold, a thin man with lank, greasy blond hair. He’s the one who drugged me, you remember in a surge of panic, and you try to shift away from him only for him to step on the chain that connects your cuffs, jerking you back and pinning you in place.

“Careful, Setsuno. I told you not to leave marks. Let her talk.”

“Got it, boss.” The blond—Setsuno—fumbles at the back of your head and then he’s pulling the gag out of your mouth.

You open and close your mouth a few times to stretch out the stiff muscles. “Oh my gosh, was that polyester you just took out of my mouth? Do you have any idea how bad synthetics are for sensitive skin? I’m totally going to break out.”

A hush falls over the little room. You could hear a pin drop.

“…Are you complaining about the quality of the fabric we gagged you with?” the leader asks after a beat.

“You may be gangsters, but you don’t have to act like savages,” you reply primly, aligning your knees together and sending a proud look off to the side.

“Ohh…little princess deserves better, does she?” Setsuno coos. He edges closer to rub his cheek against yours and laughs when you flinch back from him. “Boss, you shoulda seen her bedroom. All pink and frilly, looked like royalty lived there. Bet they treat you like a real princess at home, huh? No wonder your daddy’s in debt.”

[BNHA] Sweet Tooth /// Bakugou x f!Reader

Summary: Pro hero AU—Your boss Ground Zero is an insufferable prick, but you just can’t get enough of the way he smells.

Warnings: none? arguing?

“Do you hear me? I don’t want you here. I don’t want you as my assistant. You can call yourself my ‘administrative support’ but you and I both know you’re a glorified janitor here to clean up my messes and I. Don’t. Want. You.” There’s a muffled bang and then the air is permeated with the acrid stench of burning. You don’t even have to look down to know that the papers (the report you spent three days of unpaid overtime trying to finish in the hopes that maybe this would convince him that you’re on his side) are going up in smoke.

And okay, you slip a little bit. Who can blame you?

“Well guess what, Katsuki? I don’t want you either.” You step as much closer to him as you can manage without literally touching him and jab your index finger into his chest—see how he likes it when you get up in his personal space. “I got placed here. I didn’t choose this. I don’t want to work for a temperamental brat who doesn’t know how to be appreciative of his staff, so the feeling’s mutual. So how about you shut up and let me do my job before the Commission decides you’re too much of a liability to let you run wild any longer?”

Bakugou sneers. He’s clearly not intimidated in the least, and dear god do you want to wipe that smug look off his face. “If you’re the best tactic the Commission’s got, they know they can’t touch me. I’m the number two hero—“

“—and you’re the number one expense when it comes to damage control and repairs. Seriously, do you think Deku goes around blowing up government buildings every other week? I’d kill to be at his agency instead of yours.”

“It was one stupid post office, and no one was hurt—“ Bakugou stops in the middle of his rebuttal and scarlet eyes narrow at you. “Wait. Deku? You’re saying you’d rather work for shitty Deku?”

He says it like the alias is an insult, and you frown. As a long-time admirer of Deku’s, you feel the instant impulse to come to his defense. “Of course I’d rather work for the top pro hero. Maybe if you weren’t so hot-headed you’d win a popularity contest once in a while.”

Uh-oh. Looks like you struck a nerve.

Bakugou leans into you and now you’re the one who has to shuffle back to keep your distance. He looks—well, murderous is a little too terrifying, so you’re going to go with pissed. Light shimmers out in harmless sparkles over his palms (it would be pretty if it wasn’t so foreboding) and the accompanying crackles make you shiver, but you hold the determined look on your face. He’s so close you can smell the fresh sharpness and witch hazel in his aftershave and under that—

—huh. It’s weird, but there’s a really sweet, really rich scent. Like…what is it? It’s wrong, out of place. Your brain is convinced that it’s not supposed to be there, so you can’t identify it. Without thinking, you inhale roughly, trying to get a better sense of the mouth-watering smell.

[BNHA] Runaways /// Dabi x f!Reader

Summary: Yandere—You were like an older sister to Dabi back when the two of you were teen runaways together; now that he’s found you as an adult, he’s never letting you leave again.

Warnings: unsafe piercing practices, don’t do this at home kids

When you turn your head like that, Dabi can see the tiny dots running up the side of your ear where your old piercings have scarred over from lack of use. Do you remember when he gave them to you? You did his first, running a needle through the lonely flame of your lighter (he offered to use his quirk, but it was still hard for him to control then so you declined) and then threading the metal through his ear. You promised it would only hurt for a second, and you were right, so he let you do the others.

Then, you’d offered to let him give you one. Just one on each ear—you already had an impressive collection of piercings, but you wanted to let him return the favor, so he did it. You were older than him and more experienced and had lived on the streets for longer, so when he held the needle in his hand and you told him you trusted him, it was the first time he’d ever thought of you as fragile, something delicate, something that he was capable of harming.

He’d chosen twin helix piercings for you, cresting the shell of each ear, silver band rings to match his. When they were done you’d pulled him to a mirror and asked him what he thought. It’d been a while after the worst burns on his face, the ones under his eyes and wrapping around his chin and down his neck, and he was still getting used to the knowledge that the wrinkled purple-red scars were never going to heal. “I look like…” he’d started.

A monster. A freak. A victim.

“A badass,” you’d said. “You look fucking cool. Any asshole who wants to pick a fight with you will take one look and know you’ve been through worse shit than whatever they can dish out, and that’s something to be proud of.”

Now that Dabi thinks about it, he probably wanted you even then.

[KNY] Moonrise /// Kokushibou x f!Reader

Summary: A shrine maiden is spirited away by a demon posing as a land god.

Warnings: references to Shinto religion

“Look up there, up in the mountains behind our shrine,” your grandmother told you. “Do you see the place where the earth rises into the clouds? Our kami lives there, in the boundary between the physical world and the celestial one, higher than any human can reach.”

You stopped crying just long enough to follow the direction of her gaze, staring into the hazy mist in the mountains beyond your village. “Kokushibou lives in the woods?” The idea of your supposedly beloved deity living off the land like a wild animal was unsettling to you.

The anxiety was obvious in your voice, but your grandmother just laughed and patted your hair. “In the woods, yes, but the legends tell us he lives in a mansion fit for an emperor. His house is so fine that our little temple could fit inside it a dozen times.”

“Does he live there all by himself? Isn’t he lonely?”

“Kokushibou may be alone, but he spends his days watching our village. He has three pairs of eyes so that he may look upon the human world, the heavens, and his own affairs without changing his gaze.” Your grandmother pointed to one of the stone carvings that had scared you earlier (the one you thought was so demonic with so many eyes in its face) and her wrinkled lips curled up in a smile that made her look like a girl again. “Can I tell you a secret?”

You nodded yes, too enthralled in the tale to remember that you’d been upset.

“Once when my aunt—your great grandmother’s sister—was young, Kokushibou came down from his mountain to watch her perform her kagura dance. When she first met his eyes she was afraid, but her fear only lasted a moment, for although he was fierce in temperament his face was as beautiful as the full moon.”

Your mouth dropped open. “Did she say anything to him?”

“No, he disappeared before she could speak to him. But she told me she always regretted not being able to thank him for what he does for our village.”

“But what does he do? For our village?”

Your grandmother’s rough hands closed over your small ones, pulling them to her mouth so she could place a tender kiss upon them. “Kokushibou protects us. In other towns like ours there are criminals, raids…even attacks from demons and other creatures of darkness. Our village is peaceful because the evil fears retribution from kami.”

“So he takes care of us?”

“Yes, all of us.”

“Even me?”

“Even you, little one.”

[Haikyuu] Fanatic pt. 3 /// Oikawa x f!Reader

Summary: Oikawa takes advantage of a devoted fan for some stress relief after a bad match (…and then other stuff happens, see [part 1] and [part 2])

Warnings: implied smut?, 18+, implied dubcon??, degradation

“Wait!” you gasp out again, craning your neck to meet his gaze as best you can from over your shoulder (still without the nerve to pick your hands up off the glass or move your ass away from him). “Wait, we can’t—we shouldn’t, it’s wrong—“

We can’t. It’s wrong. Oikawa rolls your words around in his head and almost wants to laugh again—and he would, if he weren’t so focused on the fact that in a few seconds, he’s going to get what he’s ben wanting for months. You’re perfect, still his dutiful little cheerleader, still so deeply in denial that you can’t even say that he can’t, he shouldn’t, he’s wrong. None of this is your responsibility, but you’re acting like it’s a decision you’re making together. Because you want it too, he knows, he’s sure of it. Just like all his other vapid fans, you’re the same except you’re lucky, because he’s about to give it to you.

“Yeah, it’s wrong.” His voice is low and so close to your ear that you can feel the steam of his breath splay out over the skin of your cheek. “It’s wrong…you’re so sick, wanting it like this. So dirty, my sick little slut, let me make it better. I’ll make it all better, hm? Just stay put and—take it.”

A/N: I also wrote a bunch of iwcb pt. 3 but I really hate what I wrote so I might have to rewrite it, pray for me :(

[marshmallowprotection]

does secret ending saeran still hold any of the same personality traits when he was unknown? he's healing and changing as a person but sometimes i wonder what similarities in personality he still has with his old self.

Just to make this abundantly clear to anyone that is confused about this sort of thing: Unknown is SE Saeran. SE Saeran is Unknown. They’re the same person just in two different stages of life. This is entirely different from Ray, Suit Saeran, and GE Saeran. Those are different people. Okay, good. Glad to get this out of the way ahead of time. 

The entire second part of the Secret Endings is about Saeran and his experience and what he’s feeling in that moment. It explains to you what’s going on in his head and how lost he feels now that his purpose for living was ripped at the seams away from him. The only thing that gave him a sense of need was the revenge that Rika convinced him that he needed and now that... 

Now that he knows that it was a lie and that he was just a pawn to her the entire time? It hurts. It stings. Saeran watches and listens as this woman that had told him that she cares about him so willingly say to him in anger and in spite that: “I should have taken SAEYOUNG, NOT YOU!” 

Saeran was abandoned by Saeyoung and lied to by V. That was the story that she sold him and that’s what he’s been gaslit to believe over and over again till the day he was drowning in elixir. That ripped away from him causes him to do everything we see in the Secret Ending. That’s why we watch him struggle to find a sense of purpose in his life. 

We see him scream and shout and beg for answers that the universe won’t give to him. We can only feel the pain in his heart as he talks about how empty he is feeling and how lost he feels, even if he’s able to look at the sky as much as he wants now. There’s still a sense of loss in his heart. 

SE Saeran is a very complex man by a long mile and I think it’s not quite correct to call him a sardonic asshole who rips his brother to shreds. Yes, he’s bitter and he’s honest and blunt. He’s not going lash out like that. His personality is literally built off of Seven’s dream sequence and the one photo that we have of him so you have to take me with a grain of salt but I’ve had so long to think about who he is. 

The entire last half of the SE is spent with Saeran feeling like there’s no point in living. Saeyoung has to stop him from hurting himself. It’s a very serious mood that should never be discounted. That being said, Saeyoung took his brother from the hospital to protect him. He knows that his brother needs help that he isn’t trained to give, but if he left him in the hospital where he is lashing out and hurting people more and more...

Jumin’s kindness cannot protect Saeran from the moment someone finds out that Saeran Choi is the son of Saejoong Choi. Nor Saeyoung. He doesn’t want his brother to die. He doesn’t want to die. They’re kind of free, but they’re not free. That’s the saddest part about the Secret Endings. The agency is taken down but Saejoong is not. Saeyoung and Saeran still have to live in hiding from the government. 

They are not truly free. 

Saeran says himself what we know exists within Suit Saeran. “If I am the biggest monster. Nobody can hurt me. I can do whatever I want.” But, we all know that that isn’t healthy. We all know what that does. We all know how GE Saeran had to learn about that. It’s only harder for SE Saeran because he... he doesn’t have MC with him and he was forced to toil alone forever until he was ripped away from Mint Eye. 

It’s harder to help yourself if you are forced into help rather then being allowed to choose it for yourself. When does Saeran get to decide what happens? Saeyoung decides. V decides. Rika decides. Saeran never gets to decide what happens to him and you know what? You know why SE Saeran looks so tired and so lost in that CG? Because of that. Because of his lack of choice and it hurts me every time I think about him. 

He really thinks that he will be free if he’s...

Saeyoung stops him, thank goodness, and reasons with him. And yet, when Saeran lashes out and tries to kill Saeyoung instead first. He can’t do it. He just realizes that he can’t do it. He realizes that this was wrong. This isn’t what he really wants. He realizes that Saeyoung would die for him if he wanted. 

He realizes that Saeyoung really does care. It hurts him and it hurts to know but from that point onward, he is able to... try and move forward. He begs for answers but Saeyoung tells him that he can choose for himself, but getting to this point hurt. And it wasn’t his choice to come here. His only choice is this. To keep trying. 

That being said, SE Saeran is going to struggle with his anger beyond this and he is going to have moments where he has nightmares, night terrors, and flashbacks. He is going to live with his pain but he has his brother now... and he has the MC. It’s not going to be perfect but it’s a life that he can try to live what’s been given to him.

Trust me, he’s going to have really bad days and okay days and good days, but it’s going to be a long fight for himself. Ideally, he can get into therapy and work there through a lot of it as well as find a safe ground with Saeyoung that doesn’t hurt himself in the process. His personality is going to carry the weight of his pain and trauma. He will be dry and stiff, curt with other people, and withdrawn from the world.

He doesn’t interact with people by choice. He keeps to himself, but he’s quietly finding a way to live. I personally love SE Saeran and it’s a shame I don’t get to talk about him as much as I’d like. 

[generallyunskilled]

Why I sympathize with or apologize for these Dream SMP characters

Since I’m very unwell and watch just about every perspective on the Dream SMP, I’m a sympathizer or apologist for just about every character. I figured I’d share my thoughts on that. This is probably gonna be long.

Before I get started, here’s who I’m not a sympathizer or apologist for

c!Dream: fuck this guy. You’re not supposed to sympathize with him. He’s just all around evil, man. He’s an abuser, manipulator and he preys on those weaker than him. I still enjoy his character however, he’s just so delightfully hateable and I love when villains are hateable.

c!Sam: I get Sam. I really do. I understand where he’s coming from. But good god, it’s just not working! His little system keeps fucking up and he doesn’t really seem to get that it’s the system itself and not the people fucking it up. He’s too damn lawful for his own good. The prison is eating at him and you can see how he’s becoming more and more a bastardized version of the man he used to be. I want to be able to sympathize with him, and I’m not going to excuse the shitty things he’s done, but I understand him. As he is right now he’s gone off the deep end and doesn’t even know it yet. However I do think he can change. There’s still a chance for it.

Any other character not listed I simply just do not have an opinion on them. Maybe I don’t watch them often, there’s just not much to their character, or they simply haven’t done much for them to need apologists or sympathizers.

Now onto the list

c!Tommy: this kid has been through so much and received so little support. Like yeah, he’s done some wrong things, but he’s been so disproportionately punished for them. Like almost everyone else does the things he does without any repercussions. He’s also stopped doing most of the things people had issues with, or is at least trying. I feel like people don’t realize half the reason Tommy did any of his ‘bad’ things is he’s simply never been taught better. Everyone wants him to learn his lesson but never actually teach him anything but violence and pain. Also, half the things the fandom calls him an asshole for are literally mental illness symptoms. Stop that. Kids got some things messed up in his head. I’m not one to diagnose but he gets pretty damn close to the criteria for C-PTSD. You know, from the near constant trauma in his life. Kid needs a break. And a doctor.

c!Techno: I’m really flip floppy with him. His motives are understandable but his morals are wack as hell. I get wanting something against people who’ve wronged you. I get disliking government. What I don’t get, is the absolute disproportionate retribution he delivers. I also don’t get his moral high ground. He has his reasons for distrusting government. He has his reasons for disliking L’Manburg (o7). And I think it’s perfectly valid to want to air his grievances. He’s got a very admirable combination of “do unto others” and “an eye for an eye”. Mans just bungles the execution of these ideas. He’s got a lot of problems, but however, I feel like he’s got something coming to him. cc!Techno’s a better writer than this. And now with it seeming like a lot of miscommunication is getting cleared up, some of Technos past transgressions might come back to him. I think he’s headed in an interesting direction.

c!Phil: a lot of what I said for Techno applies to him as well. In addition, we know he also blames the government for his son’s spiral and death. It makes sense based on what he knows. I had something completely different here in the drafts but now we know that Wilbur didn’t tell him the truth about what happened in Manburg-Pogtopia era of the SMP. He’s been completely misinformed and you can TELL this has shaken his world up. He’s gaining a lot of new knowledge really fast. It’s becoming clear that maybe he’s beginning to regret some of what he’s done. But beyond the misinformation, he also just never got much time to actually grieve for his son and heal before the plot moved on. I feel like Phil is one of those guys who sorta just stuffs all his emotions away, but now it’s getting to be too much. He has a lot of hidden depth and I think he’s definitely on the way to a different role than what he’s played.

c!Wilbur: before his death, Wilbur needed help. No one realized anything was wrong until it was too late to pull him out of his spiral. We now know he started falling after Eret’s betrayal. He was paranoid and growing to hate what he had created. It seems like Eret was the catalyst, but the election was the straw that broke the camels back. Everyone just kind of sat around and hoped he’d change his mind. The only one willing to try was Tommy, and Tommy was just a kid. Something could have been done for him. He wasn’t a villain. He was just someone who went down a dark path that could have been pulled away if someone who wasn’t a 16 year old boy tried to reach out to him. Post-resurrection, he seems to be happy to be alive again. I’m not saying he’s completely out of the spiral but clearly something changed in limbo. And yeah him saying Dream is his hero is hella sketch but I mean, he doesn’t have the full story yet. I need to see more of revivedbur to make an opinion on him entirely.

c!Tubbo: this kid has had so little agency for so much of the plot. Most of the bad things he’s done were under duress or because he was practically being used. He really was a pawn in other peoples games, unfortunately. Any action of his that wasn’t like this was something he did out of pure reaction. He’s a very reactionary guy. He doesn’t start shit but he’ll try to finish it if he can. Tubbo is mostly just trying to get by. He’s been a soldier, a spy, a president and whatever else he needed to be or what others needed him to be. His time as president had him being pushed around and put under pressure he should never been put under. He was backed into corner after corner and expected to make the right decision with different people telling him what that was. Now he’s just trying to have some peace for himself and his family. He made the nukes for defense and defense only. It’s extreme but he’s been taught that extremism is the only thing that works.

c!Ranboo: dude literally doesn’t know what, when, or how he did any of the bad things he did. He’s not himself for most of the wrongdoings he’s done. Hell, we don’t even know if he actually did do some of the things or if it’s Dream manipulating him. Dream is literally taking advantage of Ranboo having the Enderwalk state. This makes him one of the most dangerous people on the server as Dream puppet, but also one of the most victimized. Now this doesn’t absolve him completely because harm was still done but it’s a reasonable cause behind his actions. Like I mentioned he’s also a victim of Dream in this way. Even he’s scared of what could happen and the possibility that he could be a danger to the people he loves. Granted his moral code used to be pretty wack but he’s getting better at that. I really like his “choose people” stance bc at first it was just him making his own side but now he’s genuinely picking and choosing people and being with them because he likes them as people rather than their stance on things. He and Tubbo were already friends before they got married, he’s not an official part of Snowchester though, iirc, and the only reason he joined The Syndicate was to make sure they don’t go after Tubbo.

c!Fundy, c!Niki, and c!Jack all go in the “seek some healthy coping mechanisms for the love of god” pile. Niki has already started on this as she’s baking again. c!Fundy honestly hasn’t done much wrong afaik, but he still needs to go to therapy that poor fox boy has so much daddy issues and sadness. c!Jack literally just needs to work through his issues with Tommy bc dude only knows murder as an answer to his problems. There’s other ones and he should learn them. These three are just traumatized and don’t know what to do with themselves.

[k-s-morgan]

I agree with your interpretation of Will Graham as a dark character who enjoys killing (not just righteous killing), so I was a bit confused when I read this: "ECDH: Hannibal insists that Will is a killer, that it’s his base nature, while Bedelia says that Will is capable of violence because he is compassionate (the sheepdog doesn’t savage the sheep vs he always wants to). Who do you think is right?" Bryan Fuller: "[…]The compassion between Will and Hannibal is all based on the fact they

2/3 understand each other. For Hannibal that’s such a rare gift, to be understood, and to see somebody and have them see him back. So I think with Hannibal there’s a lot of wanting Will to be the killer. When you’re in a kind of relationship with somebody and you project upon them things that you want them to be because you’re seeing them as a mirror to who you are. So I feel like, yes, Will is capable of murder because he will defend…whoever. So I feel like Bedelia is closer to being right than

3/3 Hannibal. If it was Politifacts, I’d say she’s leaning towards true and Hannibal’s leaning towards a lie." (Full quote by existingcharactersdiehorribly). This quote seems to indicate that Will is a righteous killer. What do you make of this?

---------------

Hello! Thanks for the ask)) This quote actually presents Will as vigilante, not even as a righteous killer, since this is what Bedelia says in that scene and this is what is implied if you take away Will’s enjoyment of the process of murder. So, what’s up with that?

The thing you have to understand about Bryan is that he’s terribly, disastrously inconsistent in literally everything he says. He often contradicts himself between interviews, between the passages of the same interview, and even in the same sentence. I heard and read about 90% of everything he ever said about this show, and while at first this inconsistency was driving me mad, I got used to it. I don’t know if Bryan’s mind is so chaotic that he cannot produce a logical answer, if he forgets everything, if he lies compulsively for whatever reason, or if he deliberately encourages wildly different interpretations. I mean, he doesn’t even know how Hannigram started since he keeps giving different answers. So it’s important to be aware of this tendency of his.

Now, in terms of the quote itself. It was said during RDC3. You can read a great discussion of it here and here if you’re interested. But also, let me contradict it in 3 different ways, using the quote itself, the show, and Bryan’s own interviews.

1) The quote itself.

Bryan literally starts this quote by saying how Will and Hannibal’s bond is based on their mutual understanding of each other. But then he proceeds to say that actually, Hannibal sees Will as his mirror and projects his own qualities on him. How is that mutual understanding, it’s literally one person failing to understand another person and choosing to see them in the wrong way just because they prefer it. So the quote is already contradictory. 

2) The show.

I said so much about Will, especially in this meta, that I don’t really want to repeat myself. It’s a canon fact that Will revels in murder itself and that he kills/gets people killed not just for righteous reasons. But even with the context of this quote - Bedelia says it when she underestimates Will and has no idea who he really is (and what happened to "Mr. Graham may not know himself as well as Hannibal does” anyway?). She doesn’t know what he’s capable of, she assumes Hannibal projects certain qualities on Will without Will being worth it. Will seems amused by it. And what happens next? Will sets up Chilton and coldly states how he doesn’t regret it and how he did it on purpose. What Bedelia says in response is:

Bedelia: Then you may as well have struck the match. That's participation. (studies him, then) Hannibal Lecter does have agency in the world. He has you.

This is literally Bedelia changing her mind and acknowledging Will is a monster - and she’s wary of him from that point on. Because setting Chilton up had nothing to do with righteousness or compassion. So her former quote cannot exist without the latter - context is everything. 

3) Interviews.

Sorry in advance that I won’t provide the links - I think you can easily find them online to double-check if you want, though! Also, note how these are just some of the quotes I recalled right away. There are many more.

Bryan: "I would argue that Hannibal's brand of therapy for Will Graham has always been about allowing him to embrace the truest nature of his self ... That's the nature of his relationship with Will Graham. He wants to leech out those things that Will may have deemed unseemly about his character and give him permission to embrace them."

He clearly states that Will had inherent darkness, recognized it in himself, and tried to repress it, and that Hannibal helped Will accept who he is, which is supported by the show. No projection and misunderstanding involved.

Bryan: "Will accepts who Hannibal is. It’s also narcissistic, in the way that we fall in love with people who make us feel better about ourselves and who make us feel like we’re a better version of ourselves. That makes us feel more secure in our bodies, in the dysmorphia of who you are on the inside versus who you project on the outside. That disconnect narrows dramatically when somebody sees you, understands you, accepts you and loves you."

Bryan directly explains here how Will projected a different image to other people and tried to hide who he really is, with Hannibal recognizing, accepting, and loving his real inner self & Will falling for him in return, out of sense of relief from this recognition and acceptance.  

Bryan about S3: “We have this glass wall that separates the world from the prison of Hannibal Lecter. There’s a lot of shots where Will and Hannibal are talking through the glass and you see Hannibal’s reflection overlaid on Will’s face, and we just want to keep telling the story that these two are the opposite sides of the same coin and are very much destined to be together one way or another.”

Why would two people, with one of them having such a wrong idea about the other, be the same and destined to be together?

Bryan in commentary to Aperitivo, saying “how important it was to see Will in separation with Hannibal in order to realize why it was necessary for them to get back together.” Why, if Hannibal is wrong about Will and Will isn’t really a killer?

Bryan: "The relationship between Will and Hannibal in this first season is the seduction. It is Hannibal Lecter recognizing in Will Graham for the first time in anyone that he has ever encountered in his life the opportunity for a friendship, a real friendship, because he sees something in Will Graham that he also sees in himself. They are both unique in their crazy."

Bryan says how Will and Hannibal share the same madness, the same penchant for unique darkness.

As a bonus, here are some of my favorite Hugh’s quotes. 

Hugh: “Will, independently and pretty quickly, starts coming to the conclusion that it’s not sustainable for him to have that family. Like, he’s not the guy. He’s not the right person to be able to look after them, to live with them. It’s not compatible with who he really is. And you could argue that Hannibal is just driving him more quickly to come to that realization. So in that sense, it is kind of brutal, tough love. His love is saying, “Know thyself.”

A combination of two of Hugh’s interviews about Will meeting Hannibal: “The analogy I've always used is for Will, it's like for his whole life he's been not only a great chess player, but in fact the only person in the whole world who knows the rules of chess. Then another person walks in the room, who's also a genius chess player, and that sense of relief and gratitude and recognition is powerful. It’s an instant love between them, it is as if Will met not the best chess player in the world, but the only absolute, the only person he can play with, that enters in the room - or rather, in his life - with a chessboard in hand, and this provokes in him a pleasure and an incredible relief." 

Will never thought he'd meet someone who understands him, but it happened, and he was drawn to it.

So, Will has always been dark - he might prefer to kill killers, but it’s the process of murder he enjoys, and his victims aren’t limited to bad people. Hannibal understands who he is perfectly and he never tried to cross Will’s murder-boundaries - he sends him serial killers because he knows Will would appreciate it most. Will himself breaks his own rules, and Will is drawn to Hannibal exactly because Hannibal understands him better than anyone else.

[itsclydebitches]

I’m slow and just realized that the “Ironwood cutting off his arm is him cutting off his humanity” was about getting his arm removed post having it in a cast. Which ok maybe he shouldn’t have but a few things. He’s want to have a functioning arm given how back thing a have escalated and how much he’s have to do. If that prosthetic isn’t just for show then it’s a functioning limb so what’s the problem.

Making an argument about what RT is trying to say is difficult - if not outright impossible - because I don’t think they know what they’re trying to say. The message about Ironwood, if it exists, is convoluted and inconsistent, so that’s always worth bearing in mind. Trying to decipher authorial meaning in a text is doomed if the authors are throwing out things willy-nilly. It’s like trying to make sense of a cookie recipe with gravel listed as an ingredient. I really don’t think the inedible bits of stone should exist in this recipe, the creator likely doesn’t realize they included it, and if they do come back with some ridiculous justification like, “Gravel adds delicious crunch!” we should not get caught up in trying to determine whether gravel is actually crunchy and whether we like that crunch in our cookies. The gravel should not exist in the first place. 

That being said, we’ve got two distinct readings here: 

1. The claim that destroying his own arm - doing “whatever it takes” - is representative of Ironwood losing his humanity because he’s supposedly crossing boundaries no human should cross. The problem with this reading is that Ironwood doesn’t cross any inhuman boundaries in this scene. Freeing himself from a trap and saving the city from Watts are good things. This is why, as I’ve mentioned before, if they wanted the scene to represent a loss of humanity Ironwood needed to do something arguably inhumane: kill off Watts unjustifiably, team up with him, etc. 

2. The claim that cutting off his arm and replacing it with a cybernetic is representative of Ironwood losing his humanity because he is, literally, a little less human now and a little more machine. The problem with this reading is it’s ableist garbage. The answer to the question “Why does him losing parts make him less human?” is “It doesn’t.” 

Frankly, I don’t know which reading RT is trying to stand behind - the destroying his arm as a representation or replacing the arm as representation - but both readings fail. Either RT doesn’t understand that the context in which Ironwood lost his arm is heroic, or they don’t understand that the need for an assistive device doesn’t have any impact on a person’s worth and morality. I sincerely hope it’s the first option. I’d much rather be watching a show with authors struggling to craft the messages they’re aiming for (we thought we were writing Ironwood doing something worthy of criticism but didn’t succeed) vs. authors who believe that if you replace enough (whatever that means) of your body with tech then you in turn become an emotionless machine (we wrote Ironwood losing another limb because he’s bad now. In our minds we equate disability with villainy). If I had to make a case on either side, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt based on Penny and Yang, given that they did attempt a (at times well done) arc with Yang and Penny’s whole thing is being real despite being made of metal... but then again, Yang didn’t choose this. It was something traumatic that was done to her. Penny also didn’t choose this. She was born an android and has no control over what her body is like. Ironwood, unlike both girls, had agency here. There’s an incredibly uncomfortable implication that his decision to sacrifice his arm is what makes him inhuman. AKA, the concept that being disabled is so horrific, so unwanted, so utterly terrifying that anyone who chooses to become that must be insane. They can’t be human because no human would willingly go through that. It’s a message that simultaneously undermines Ironwood’s heroics - look at what he was willing to do to keep the people safe! - as well as mischaracterizes disability as a purely horrible thing. I would hope that if I were put into the incredibly unlikely position of sacrificing my arm to keep others safe that I would make that choice too, both because helping others is worth the sacrifice and because losing an arm, while no doubt immensely difficult, would not be the end of my life, my potential, or my worth as a human being. Far from it. 

Implying otherwise sends a staggeringly insulting message to every disabled viewer watching RWBY.  

Which circles right back around to that authorial intent. I still don’t want to make claims about what RT means to say because I’m not sure they know what message they’re aiming for. I will, however, make a claim that what they are saying - regardless of intention - is becoming a problem. Conflating Ironwood’s decent into antagonism with the loss of a limb reflects badly on their disability rep any way you cut it. Things could improve in Volume 8. What we start getting on Saturday may heal or damage things greatly, but for now the talk of “Ironwood cutting off his arm is him cutting off his humanity” reads as really, really bad. 

[multi-fxndom446]

Promise

Dabi X Reader

Warning: slight angst, manga spoilers maybe? And this also goes off the theory of Dabi being Touya.

Summary: you search for your best friend and it doesn’t end up like you planned.

You guys this could literally go so many different ways. So what do you think? Dabi ending? Hawks ending? Both? Or no ending?

~

He was shaking slightly as he waited outside your front door, holding the box in his hands. Today was your birthday and you thought he wouldn’t be able to come because his dad rarely let him leave the house, but he wanted to surprise you.

“Touya?” Your confusion turned into immediate happiness as you hugged him “I thought you wouldn’t be able to make it?”

“I got away for a few minutes but I can’t stay.” You couldn’t help the small frown but quickly smiled again when you saw the box he was holding. You choose to ignore the bandages wrapped around his small arms, you knew he didn’t like to talk about it. “I got you something.”

He shakily opened the box to reveal two necklaces laying side by side on some cotton. They were like little capsules, each one holding beads of a certain color. “These are so pretty!” His nerves finally went away when he saw your eyes sparkle in happiness and he pointed to the first one.

“This ones mine, see it has my initials.” You looked a little closer and saw what he was saying. Engraved at the top in small cursive letters was T.T.

The color of his beads were bright blue and you couldn’t help but let your smile widen at that and he seemed to notice you looking it over. “You always say how you like that my eyes match my flames so,” he blushed lightly and looked away from you.

You went to grab the one next to his that had the initials F/I L/I. “You even remembered my favorite color!” You told him happily and he finally looked back towards you.

“Of course I did.” He smiled, grabbing his necklace from the box and stuffing the box in his pocket before he put his on, you following suit.

“Promise to never take it off?” You grinned holding your pinky out to him which he gladly took with a smile of his own before he left to go back home.

-

“Earth to y/n!” Your eyes snapped up from your desk when a giant wing was waved in front of your face. You saw Hawks standing by your desk, his head tilted in amusement as he watched you pull yourself together. “You good? You were pretty deep in thought there.”

You laughed slightly, “yeah sorry, just thinking about something.” Your voice trailed off and he was about to ask when you cut him off. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah,” his eyes narrowed a little in concern but brushed it off. “I have some business I need to take care of so can you take these files to Fatgum? He should have something for me as well.”

“What business?” You asked, grabbing the file from his hands. He didn’t answer and you didn’t expect him to, if there was one thing you learned about working for Hawks it’s that hes really secretive sometimes. Even more so recently.

“Thanks you’re amazing!” He called to you as he took off out of his office to go do whatever he needed to do.

You watched after him as far as you could see before he was out of sight and you had no other choice then to grab your stuff and head to Fatgums agency.

You held the file tightly to you as you walked through the streets, yours fingers unconsciously playing with the chain around your neck.

A train ride later and you were at your destination. Assistants were running all over the place inside, some holding files while other were carrying food back to Fatgum.

It wasn’t the first time Hawks has sent you on an errand to Fatgum and it most likely wouldn’t be the last either. On your way to the office you smiled at the security guards, ignoring the news that was playing on the tv behind you.

“Fatgum?” You poked your head through his door and smiled when he saw you. He quickly waved you in with a big smile of his own and whoever he was talking to took there leave.

Fatgums eyes connected to the folder in your hands, “errand girl again?” You nodded with a laugh. “When is Hawks gonna come see me himself?”

You grinned a little at the fake pout Fatgum was giving you and shrugged your shoulders. “He’s a busy guy I guess.”

“I guess being number 2 will do that to ya.” He sighed, taking the folder from your hands as he rummaged through his drawers for what he needed. He pulled out another file and handed it over to you. “Sorry to rush you out it’s been kinda hectic today.”

“Oh it’s okay. League of Villains again?” He nodded slightly, a frown quickly overtaking his smile.

“Not just them, there’s another Villain givin’ us a lot of trouble recently but I’m sure Hawks can tell you about it.” You could tell by the beeping of his phone that he really needed to get back to work.

“I’m sure he will. I’ll let you get back to work, see you later!” You gave him one last wave before you walked out of his office closing the door behind you. You were walking to the front of the building when you stopped at the Tv splayed out front.

It was just another news cover of the League of Villains but the villain that was on the screen was what caught your attention. “You okay Y/n?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice, only to see it was Kirishima. You had met him a few times when you came to the agency. “Yeah sorry I just got distracted.” Your eyes fell from him to the screen again and he followed your gaze.

“Ah that’s the vilain Dabi.” He explained to you as you watched intently. Those eyes seemed so familiar to you.

“Kirishima, U.A. Was attacked by League of Villains right?” He nodded, “what do you know about Dabi?”

“Well I mean I never actually ran into the real Dabi at the camp the one who came after us was a fake. But what I understand is he has a fire quirk and that’s about it.” You nodded, you already knew that, it was impossible not to know. “You could ask Todoroki though or Bakugo, or actually don’t ask Bakugo it’s still a sore subject for him.”

“Right. Thanks Kirishima.” You gave him a bright smile which he returned and you both went your separate ways.

By the time you got back to Hawks agency he was still gone. You were sat at your desk with a file in front of you, one on Touya Todoroki. The file you had been building since he disappeared from your life, although there wasn’t much in it seeing as everyone thought he was dead.

You clicked your pen over and over again running through what you should do next before you grabbed your phone and dialed Shotos number.

“Hello?” Came his calm reply.

“Hey Shoto how are you?” You heard him sigh as if he knew the call wasn’t just to check up on him.

“Do you need something?” Usually you would’ve been a little upset that he didn’t even acknowledge your question but after you got to know him more you figured out that was just how he was.

You clicked your pen one last time, “I’ll get straight to the point then. You had a run in with Dabi right?” You heard him hum “what was he like?”

“There’s not much I can tell you.” When you sighed in disappointment he couldn’t help but feel a little bad so he gave you what little information he had. “He has a fire quirk obviously. And he also knew my name.”

Your eyes widened at that, “Did you recognize him?” You asked quickly.

“Yeah the Villain Dabi.” He said it to you as if explaining to a child. You pursed your lips, realizing your mistake.

“His flames, what color were they?” Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest as you looked down at Touyas file, blue fire underlined.

“Blue.” Your breathe hitched, you weren’t dumb you knew a little about Dabi but you never seriously considered him as a candidate for your missing best friend.

“Like his eyes.” You whispered to yourself and Shoto made a slight noise of agreement.

“Yeah actually.”

“Sorry just one more thing. Did he look like he was wearing a necklace?” Shoto went quiet as he thought back on it.

“No not that I can recall but at the time I was trying to save a classmate so I didn’t really pay attention to his neck.” You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm but couldn’t help the slight disappointment.

“Okay thanks Shoto.” He hung up after that and you set you phone down. You looked over the small file again before you closed it and put it back in your desk.

Hawks was just right outside the door, listening.

~

“Touya? What’re you doing here?” You whispered to him as you slid open your window. Everyone was asleep by now and he knew better then to go to the front door so he went straight for your window.

He was looking down at the ground, not able to look you in the eyes. “I came to say goodbye.” He finally told you.

Your eyes widened before you crawled through your window. Touya was quick to help you out so you didn’t hurt yourself but pulled away as soon as you were on the ground. “What? Why?”

“I can’t stay.”

“You’re running away?” You watched him as he nodded hesitantly. You stood silent for a moment before you turned to go back inside. “Hold on then.”

“W-what’re you doing?” He watched you struggle to get through the window, eventually grabbing your hand to stop you.

You turned to him, still holding his hand. “I’m coming with you.” It was his turn for his eyes to widen in shock.

“No!” He slapped a hand over his mouth when he raised his voice, afraid he woke up your family. When he didn’t see any lights turn on he removed his hand. “You can’t Y/n. Your family is here they need you.”

“But you need me.” His expression softened at your words and he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you.

“I’ll be okay.” He pulled back just enough to look you in the eye. “One day we’ll find each other again.”

“Pinky promise?” He laughed softly before taking your pinky in his. He went to walk away from you before you called out to him. “I want you to have this.”

You started taking off your necklace “No Y/n that was your present!” You just ignored him and unclipped it and put it the the palm of your hand.

“I want you to have it so you don’t forget me.” You held your hand out for him and he hesitantly took it before he quickly unclipped his own and handed it to you.

“This will be our way to find each other.” He told you, giving you one last hug before he was gone. You looked down at the necklace in your hand, your fingers tracing over the small T.T.

-

“Hey Y/n?” You looked up from your file on Dabi to Hawks who was at his desk sorting through papers. Though unknown to you, he had been watching you space out for a while. “Will you go to the front desk? There’s a package for me.”

You nodded and went to grab your files when his laugh stopped you. “You’re coming right back you can leave your files.” Reluctantly, you set them back down and walked out the door.

He watched you go, making sure you were gone before he got up and went over to your desk. He opened the file you had been staring at for the entire day and almost felt his blood run cold as Dabis picture sat on top of all the papers.

It had been a week since he overheard your phone call and since then he’s been picking up more and more information on what you’ve been searching for. But he could never quite figure out who. “Why are you researching a Villain, Y/n?” He muttered to himself before he closed the file and went back to his desk, just in time for you to come back with his package in hand.

You immediately went back to looking at the file in front of you while Hawks watched you silently. Every now and then you’d write something down then cross it out.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked after a few more minutes of silently watching. You nodded your head. “Why did you wanna work for me?”

Your hand stopped mid-sentence and you looked up at him in confusion. “Hawks I’ve been working with you for a few years why do you want to know now?”

Hawks shrugged, “just curious.”

“I wanted to help a hero that’s all, I don’t have a quirk of my own so this was the next best thing I guess.” You went back to writing after that but he wasn’t going to just let it end there.

“But you specifically asked for me.” You were silent for a few seconds before you dropped your pen on your desk and looked to him again. “Out of all the hero’s you chose me. Why?”

Something told you he knew but was waiting for you to say it. “I’m searching for someone.” You finally told him, folding your hands on your desk. “I thought working for a top hero would help.”

“You thought working for a top hero would be easier for you to get the information you needed.” He elaborated and you nodded slightly, almost afraid he would fire you over this. He must’ve caught onto your feelings because he laughed a little. “I’m not gonna fire you. Just tell me, who’re you looking for?”

“You won’t believe me.”

“And why not?”

“Because he’s technically dead.” The room went silent as Hawks processed your words.

“Then-?” You already knew what he was going to ask so before he could you held your hand out to stop him.

Your hand came to rest on the capsule around your neck as you glanced over at the file. “He’s not dead. I know because he came to see me before he was declared dead.”

“Then he still could be.”

“He’s not.”

Hawks sighed and ran a hand through his hair, still trying to connect whatever dots he was missing. “What’s his name?”

“I don’t need any help searching for him.” You said and the two of you stared at each other, waiting to see what the other would do.

“Just answer me this, why me? Why not Endeavor?” You made a face at the mention of the number one hero and he made note of it.

You just shook your head, “it’s nothing you need to worry about.” You closed the file you had been looking at to pack up for the day.

“I am worried that you’re researching Dabi though.” He said after you went to stand up. You immediately fell back into your seat. ‘Of course he went through the file’ you thought. “Why him?”

“He’s just on a list of people with fire quirks. I’m sure he’ll be crossed off soon.” You explained and he went silent again.

“Fire quirk? This person you’re searching for has a fire quirk?” You nodded your head again, going to stand up once more. “At least give me something to look out for so I can be a little helpful.”

“Fine,” you could’ve told him about the color of his fire or his eyes but you also didn’t really want Hawks searching for Touya to begin with so you gave him the simplest thing you could think of. “When we were little he bought me a necklace for my birthday. When he left we swapped. If he’s who I’m looking for he might still have a necklace with my initials engraved in it and the little beads would be F/C.”

Hawks knew that wasn’t much to go off of but by the way you were being so secretive about Dabi he had a feeling you thought he was the one you were looking for and luckily for him, he worked closely with the Villain not that you knew that. “I’ll keep my eye out.” You nodded at him and took your leave.

He pondered over the information he gathered from you today, did he really wanna help you find this guy? Why was he anyways? ‘Because Id do anything for her.’ Hawks sighed, running a hand down his face before he too decided to leave to meet up with the Villain in question.

His hands were stuffed in his jacket pockets as he thought of everything you told him and everything he saw in your research. He couldn’t risk you finding out about what he was doing, he didn’t want to put you in any danger. So he decided to help, though part of him dreaded the answers he would come across.

His steps were slow but he didn’t care all to much, he was already late. He would spare a few smiles at some of his fans passing by before he finally got to his destination.

“You’re late.” Dabi stated, pushing himself off the wall.

Hawks looked at his expressionless face and let his eyes drift down to his neck to see if there was a necklace, which there was not. “I was talking to my assistant.” Dabi raised an eyebrow but turned to walk further down the alley with the hero following after.

“Which one you have like twenty.” Dabi asked as he let his hands hang by his sides.

“Are you researching my entire agency now?” Hawks scoffed.

“Only the ones that matter and from what I’ve read, you’re pretty close to a lot of people at your agency although there’s one person in particular that you would stay behind for.” Dabi glanced behind him, his left hand going to his pocket while his right stayed by his side. “Y/n L/n.”

Hawks visibly stiffened at your name which didn’t go unnoticed. Dabi eye twitched in irritation but he turned forward so hawks wouldn’t be able to see. “Do you know anything about this new villain running around?” Hawks changed the subject.

“He’s not part of the league if that’s what you’re asking.” Hawks eyes zeroed in on his left hand still in his pocket but brushed it off. “He’s acting on his own. He must be throwing the hero’s off though, bombing building after building.”

Hawks didn’t respond. The villain had a bombing quirk which basically just allowed him to set powerful bombs off and he was able to set them off whenever he wanted.

Dabi glanced at him again while his fingers played with the necklace in his pocket.

~

It had been weeks since you started researching the Villain and Hawks eventually put himself into your research not giving you a choice on having him help you out more.

You sighed as you looked up at the agency you know so well and with a frown you went in. Today was supposed to be your day off but Hawks had some business he needed to take care of and he only trusted you to go to hero meetings in his place. Usually if you were out and a meeting came up he would brush it aside but this one couldn’t be missed.

“Why can’t you go yourself again?” You asked him as soon as you got through the door. He smiled at you as soon as he saw your face and he stood up to go over to you.

“Because this business is more important then this hero meeting.” Before you could retort he handed you a file. “It’s about the bombing villain. I don’t need you to say anything just go and take notes and don’t piss anyone off.”

“No promises.” You mumbled as you flipped through the pages of information. Eventually you closed the file and looked back to him. “Should I come back here when it’s done?”

Hawks shrugged, “sure.”

You shook your head slightly and went to leave. “Alright I’ll see you later then.” Hawks called out a farewell as he watched you walk down the hall. After awhile when he knew you would be out of the building he took his leave.

“You’re really getting good at making me wait.” Was the first thing Dabi said to him when the hero finally got to the meeting point.

“I was busy.” Was Hawks short reply. He stood in front of Dabi waiting for him to leave but he just stood there his left hand in his pocket.

“With what? Shouldn’t have stayed late to talk, today is Y/ns day off.” Immediately hawks grabbed Dabi by his collar and pushed him against the brick wall with a scowl on his face.

“Are you stalking my assistant?” Dabi was silent, his ice blue eyes giving away nothing as usual. “Stay the hell away from her.”

Dabi’s eye twitched a little at that, something Hawks noticed he did a lot at the mention of you. “You care so much for her yet I’m surprised you haven’t told her what you do behind the scenes.”

“Why would I?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Dabi replied almost immediately after the hero. “Don’t you think she deserves to know?”

“I’m not going to put her in danger.” Dabi narrowed his eyes at him. “She’s working under me for the soul purpose of finding someone, I have no intention or reason to tell her what I do.”

Dabi went silent for a second as Hawks’ words processed in his head. “Who’s she looking for?” He finally asked.

“That’s not your concern. All you need to know is I promised to help her find him and you happen to be on her list of candidates.” Hawks practically growled out, his grip on Dabis collar not loosening. “And I hope to whatever powers are out there that you are not the person she’s looking for because she deserves more then a Villain.”

Dabi clenched his jaw, his eye twitching again as he shoved Hawks back. “More then a Villain, so you’re saying she deserves you is that it?” Hawks just glared at him and Dabi laughed humorlessly “are you in love with your assistant Hawks?”

The tone was condescending but Hawks didn’t let it phase him. “No.” Dabi scoffed in disbelief and let his left hand go back to his pocket. Hawks eyed the movement before looking back up at his face. “What aren’t you telling me? Do you know her?”

Dabi didn’t answer and Hawks balled up his fist before lunging at him. He gripped Dabis shirt into his fist, “did you know her before I did?” Again Dabi didn’t answer but his left hand fell to his side and Hawks took the opportunity to quickly reach his hand into his pocket and grab whatever he always had in there.

His eyes widened at the necklace he pulled out but Dabi was quick to swipe it away from him. “That necklace. You’re-“ a loud explosion cut him off. They both looked down the alley to see a bunch of pedestrians running every which way.

Hawks phone buzzed with an alert and he was quick to pull it out. His eyes widened in horror at what he was seeing. “This building” Dabi looked at him in confusion before he felt like his heart stopped. “I sent Y/n there.”

Hawks ran after that, trying to get to the building as fast as he could. When he got there, there was smoke everywhere. Multiple Hero’s were on sight including the police to help everyone out of the building.

He searched the crowds for you but couldn’t find you. He grabbed onto an officer nearby, “is there anyone else in the building?!”

“Not that I know of.” Hawks let him go and stared at the building in front of him before he checked the time. It was the time the meeting was supposed to started. He knew you and he knew you wouldn’t be late so with one last glance around to make sure you weren’t there he ran inside.

You gasped in sharp breathes of air as your ears rung from the blast. Your whole body hurt, it felt like someone stabbed you all over multiple times. You couldn’t breathe no matter how much you tried and your head was swimming from the lack of oxygen and the pain.

The blast had sent you flying and now you were scared no one was going to find you. Tears spilled from your eyes at the thought of dying alone but also at the thought that you would never get to see your best friend again. “Y/n!” Someone yelled for you but you couldn’t yell back. “Y/n! Where are you?!”

It was Hawks you knew that voice anywhere. You could see him slightly through the corner of your eye. “Hawks..” your voice was small almost a whisper but he heard it.

“Y/n,” Hawks finally reached you and let his eyes scan over you. He knelt down beside you and started picking through the rocks to get you free, his feathers helping. “It’s gonna be okay just hold on okay?”

“Hawks..”

“Just hang on for me okay? I’ll get you out.”

“Hawks.” Your hand found his, as painful as it was to move you needed him to stop. He looked to you and your heart broke as fear clouded his eyes. Tears were slipping from yours as you told him one thing. “I’m scared.”

He got closer to you and pulled you into his grasp. You screamed out in pain before you sighed in relief and layed in his arms. Your legs were still stuck under the rumble but you wouldn’t let him leave you so his feathers moved them as fast as they could.

Your fingers clutched onto the necklace around your neck and you tried to pull it off but couldn’t. Hawks saw your struggle and with one hand he unclipped the back of it, only for you to hand it to him. “Promise me you’ll give it to him?” The fear in his eyes worsened.

“You’ll give it to him yourself.” He tried to smile but it fell as soon as your hands grasped his, placing the necklace in his palm. “Y/n please don’t do this to me.”

“Promise me.” You whispered, clutching onto his hand. Finally Hawks let the tears slip down his face.

“I promise.” You gave him a weak smile before your strength was finally gone. Your hands fell from his and your chest stopped moving. Hawks let out a broken sob when finally his feathers got you free but they were to late. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

Dabi was stood in the shadows as he watched everything happen. His eyes were scanning the crowds over and over again before movement from the building got his attention.

His hand clutched the necklace tightly as he watched Hawks carry you out of the building. Paramedics and people with healing quirks were by his side in a second, taking you from him.

He watched for a second more before he disappeared into the shadows.

~

Dabi stepped into the hospital room. His eyes first latching onto you and all the machines around you but then they fell on Hawks who was sat in a chair beside your bed, his hand in yours. But that wasn’t what got his attention.

“You’re wearing her necklace.” The statement was blunt but Hawks could hear the venom laced into the words.

“Not even going to deny it anymore?” The hero wasn’t looking at Dabi, just you. He scanned over your face one last time before he turned to face Dabi. “I promised her I’d give it to the guy she’s looking for and I intend to do just that.”

Hawks stood from his seat, letting your hand fall from his grasp as he reached to unclasp the necklace. When he had it in the palm of his hand he walked over to Dabi, grabbed his hand and dropped the necklace in his palm. “If you have something to say I’d say it soon before someone comes in.” Dabi grabbed him before he could leave though.

“What happened?”

Hawks looked from Dabi to you and shook his arm off. “That Villain you had no idea about, happened.” Then he was gone.

Dabi clutched the necklace tightly in his hand before he set it down on the bedside table. He went to grab your hand when he stopped but reluctantly placed it on top of yours.

When he left he promised himself to never see you again because he knew whatever life he would lead would put you in danger. Yet years passed and he couldn’t help himself from watching over you. You never knew but he was always there.

“That damn hero thought I was watching you because of him.” Dabi muttered as he watched your chest rise and fall with slow breathes. He grabbed your necklace out of his pocket. “I always had this on me y’know? Didnt like to wear it though. I didn’t want to destroy it.”

He gave it one last look before he set it down next to yours on the table, severing whatever connection you had left. “I’m sorry Y/n. I know you looked for a long time but if you find me I know you’ll try and follow my life but I won’t let you.” His hand fell from yours and he turned to leave.

Your eyes fluttered open just as he was about to reach the door. You blinked a few times, trying to clear your vision and when you did you saw him leaving. Your eyes widened, “w-wait!”

He didn’t stop, “I know who you are please!” But then he continued so you started to sit up, making the machines around you beep. “You promised!” Finally he stopped.

He turned his head to throw one glance at you, “I’m sorry.” Then he was gone and a horde of nurses flooded the room to check on you. They all grabbed onto you trying to calm you down but you just screamed for Dabi to come back.

You thrashed around in there grip, turning your head to the side only to see the two necklaces laying on the table and the tears got worse. “No!”

Finally a nurse put some medicine in your IV to make you go to sleep. But your eyes were locked on the necklaces and even with blurry eyes you could see what was written on the other necklace.

Y/I L/I

~

[snarkwrites]

tease me | tim speedle | mature.

Notes: 

So this is kind of picking up where my one shot for Tim Speedle that I wrote for Christmas left off... I just felt like revisiting them, maybe a few months down the road. When her Christmas visit has turned into an extended stay and they’re all nice and settled and stuff... I decided to write filth.

I needed this, okay? I needed it. Literally no one asked for this but I wanted it, so here we are. If I have to yearn and thirst, you guys gotta suffer with me.

Warnings:

First of all, this content is not made for folks under 18+ years of age. And if you’re not a fan of sexual content, you will not like this, I can almost certainly guarantee that. If you choose to continue reading beyond the warnings, this is your problem. I warned you up here what you were in for.

If you are sticking around, this contains : unprotected sex, oral sex - female giving, teasing / nude selfies, and a little bit of dirty talk. Body fluids. That’s about it, honestly.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave​ 

@twistnet​ 

                               [ faq | tag list doc ] 

The excitement I felt was so great that my hands were shaking a little. As a result, it was harder to get that perfect image to send Tim. Finally realizing that I wasn’t going to be able to pose myself seductively enough and manage to hold the phone in my hand to take the photo at the same time, I slipped off Tim’s bed and slunk across the room, unzipping my suitcase.

Once I’d found my tripod and set it up, propping my phone on it and setting up a timer to take the photo, I hurried back to Tim’s bed, draping myself across it lying on my stomach. My legs poised so that my toes were up. My hair falling down to frame my face and just barely hiding my eyes and the covers on his bed doing an okay job at making the photo a little less full on risque.

The flash lit the bedroom momentarily and I got up, slinking over to where I’d placed the phone, inspecting the photo. Once I deemed it worthy of sending, I opened the text conversation I had going with Tim.

[ Blondie ] Good morning, handsome.

[ Blondie ] I hope your day’s going better today. I’m just here, waiting...

[ Blondie ] attachment

[ Blondie ] I missed you in bed this morning… and in me.

Satisfied that I’d stayed well within that fine line of sexy but not too over the top after I re-read my messages, I hit send on the last one and flopped across Tim’s bed, stretching lazily. The sunrise was just starting to peek through the floor to ceiling windows and I slipped out of his bed, wandering over to stand in them and peer out, my eyes fixed on the view of the beach across the street from his place.

I tried to imagine his reaction upon receiving the texts I’d just sent while at work in the crime lab and the thought had me smiling to myself a little.

Yeah, I realized that I was stirring things up, but I didn’t care. We were making up for lost time. Coming to Miami like I had on a whim around Christmas was hands down, the best thing I’d done thus far.

My cell phone rang on the bed and I hurried back over, pouting a little when one look at the screen revealed that it was my boss and not Tim like I’d been hoping.

I sighed and picked it up, answering.

I couldn’t keep putting off a permanent decision and I knew this. It was either here or there. I was either about to uproot myself and make the move to Miami a permanent one or I was going to have to set a date to return to New York.

And as I gazed out the window at the beach across the street, a thought hit me.

Home was wherever Tim Speedle was now. I couldn’t imagine going back to New York. I didn’t even want to think about it. So with that realization in mind, I spoke up, interrupting Rex.

“I’m not coming back, actually. I won’t be renewing my contract with your agency.”

“You’re quitting? You can’t quit now, doll… you gotta strike while the iron is hot. And right now, there are some major names in the fashion world askin about you.” - his words had me laughing and shaking my head, because for the entire time I’d been modeling and stuff, Rex was always saying this. My big break was coming any minute now, he just knew it. Or there were people asking about me.

Until, of course, they mysteriously stopped. And I was left with my photography studio as my sole source of income.And honestly, I just wasn’t enjoying the modeling thing anymore. I’d never really wanted to get involved in it in the first place. I’d gotten to a point where I took less and less jobs.

“Sure they are, Rex. They’ve been asking for me since I was 21 and I signed with you and yet… I haven’t hit my big break yet.”

“Hey, whoa.. What about that bit part in the soap opera I got you?” Rex reminded me.

 I choked on my laughter and shook my head, pacing Tim’s bedroom.

“It was for an unnamed coma patient. I didn’t even have any lines. All I had to do was lie in a hospital bed and moan occasionally.” I reminded him, clearing my throat and repeating myself, much firmer. “I’m not renewing my contract. I’ll be moving to Miami soon. I’m thinking about opening a photography studio here, actually.”

“Okay, fine. It’s your life, baby girl. You do you. I just hope this little fling of yours down in Miami doesn’t backfire, kid.” Rex replied and then promptly, he hung up the phone on his end. I eyed the phone in my hand before laughing and shaking my head. After I deleted his number, I dug around in Tim’s shirt drawer, finding one of his thin gray t-shirts and I made my way down the hall, starting to clean the apartment a little bit. By the time I finished and was lying in the sunshine down on the beach, a quick look at my phone revealed that he should be getting a chance to look at my earlier texts.

I found myself staring at the phone, practically on pins and needles at this point.

XXX

Eric Delko stepped into the Trace area of the crime lab where Tim was working. The radio was cranked up, blasting Def Leppard. That probably explained why Tim hadn’t seen or heard the texts he’d gotten, Eric mused as he picked up his best friend’s phone, wandering over to where Tim stood, analyzing evidence from an earlier crime scene.

He cleared his throat and Tim nearly jumped a foot into the air, turning to glare at him. Eric held out the phone and chuckled. “You’re getting texts, Speed. I came in to see if you were still up for grabbing a bite. Or if you had other plans.”

That last bit was said in a teasing tone that Tim picked right up on. But Tim chose not to take the bait. Instead, he grabbed for his phone and unlocked it, going straight for his texts.

And when he saw what she’d texted him over the course of the morning, he nearly choked on a sip of bottled water he’d taken. His cock started to strain against his jeans and Tim shuffled his feet, trying to will the situation down.

Eric, of course, was taking it all in and he chuckled, mimicking the sound of a whip being cracked. “You’re so fucking whipped, Speed.”

“I’m not whipped.” Tim grumbled, giving Eric the middle finger as he laughed and shook his head. He was used to the good natured teasing. And his near death experience not so long ago had shown him that life was too short to let everything bother him like he’d done prior to.

He tore his eyes off of Eric, letting them settle on the picture she’d texted him earlier. Biting his lip. Mental images of the night before -and pretty much every night since her surprise arrival at Christmas, flashing through his mind like scenes from an explicit movie.

“You’re staring at the screen in a daze, man. The only other reason you’d be doing that is… Oh hell… She’s sexting you right now, isn’t she?” Eric tried to peer at the phone but Tim combatted this by turning away from his friend completely and squaring up so that his shoulders blocked the view a little better.

Eric chuckled. “I’m gonna go wait in the hall. Give you two a little privacy.” he teased again before ducking out of the lab, door swinging shut behind him with a soft thud.

 And the second Tim knew for sure Eric was out in the hall and out of his hair, he smirked to himself, throwing caution to the wind to text her back.

,, Two can play this game, blondie.” he thought to himself as he fired off texts to her.

[ Speed ] Morning, baby girl. 

[ Speed ] It’s going. Definitely a Monday.

[ Speed ] I can’t wait to get back there, fuck.

[ Speed ] Fuck… I’m so hard right now. You realize you’re startin something right now, yeah?

[ Speed ] Baby girl, I miss being inside of you. Just standing here thinking about how wet you get for me… The way you moan my name so loud. 

[ Speed ] 8 o’clock. My bed. What you wear doesn’t matter because I’m gonna tear it off either way…

[ Speed ] I love you, baby girl. Only 7 hours to go. ;P

After he’d sent the last text, he took a few deep breaths to attempt getting himself under control all over again, and then he stepped out into the hallway, catching up to Eric who chuckled and shook his head. Tim gave a lazy shove to the other man and through laughter he questioned, “Why are you bustin my balls anyway, man? Are you not doing the same with Calleigh right now?”

“ You’re the one who really didn’t get around much before, Speed. I’m your best friend. Kind of my job to bust your balls about your new girl. Speaking of… Calleigh was wondering if you two wanted to do something as a group sometime. She really wants to meet her.”

Tim chuckled and shrugged. “I’ll ask her tonight.”

XXX

The sound of my cell phone going off beside me on the beach towel had me waking up from my lazy little cat nap. I sat up and stretched, grabbing for it.

I fidgeted a little as I read Tim’s responses to the texts I’d sent him that morning. Biting my lip, I eyed the time.

Six more hours now. I blinked in shock. Had I really taken an hour nap on the beach?

It felt kind of nice.

[ Blondie ] Oh, trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing, baby.

I decided to push things just a little further. Since he was teasing me right back. Fair is fair, right? I posed myself and raised my phone so that the camera managed to catch my whole body and I took the picture.

[ Blondie ] attachment

[ Blondie ] Ugh, you’ve got me so wet right now. I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt this morning when you had your head between my thighs. 

[ Blondie ] What if I don’t wear anything? 

[ Blondie ] Fuck… I wish you were here right now.. Those hands all over my body.

[ Blondie ] I need you. I’m aching right now, baby.

Taking a few deep breaths to center myself, I sent the last text and stood, gathering my beach towel and stretching. I needed to get back to the apartment and take a shower. My thighs clenched as the thought spurred forth a series of mental imagery that had me aching. Tim pressing me against the wall of the shower and hitting his knees, spreading my legs and licking me clean. The little bite marks he left behind that were starting to fade.

I made my way back to the apartment and stripped down, stepping into a nice cool shower.

XXX

His eyes settled on the clock on the wall and he tapped his fingers against the desktop impatiently. It felt like time was crawling by, almost moving backwards.

His phone buzzed against the wooden desk and he grabbed it up, putting in his unlock code. His eyes danced over the texts she’d sent back to him. He let out a ragged deep breath as soon as the attachment was downloaded and he could see her posing in that little neon pink bikini, biting her lip. His eyes roamed over the picture and he smiled softly for a few seconds before saving it. 

“Fuck. You’re tryin to kill me today, baby girl.” he mumbled, mostly to himself as he turned his attention to responding to the texts she’d sent him.

[ Speed ] You tasted so fucking sweet. I’ve been dying for another taste of you all day, baby girl.

[ Speed ] If you don’t wear anything, that just makes it easier for me. 

[ Speed ] I might have to take you against the door though.

[ Speed ] I’m so hard I could break right now, baby girl. Wanna bury my cock inside you so deep…

[ Speed ] I’m on my way. Just fifteen more minutes. The slowest fifteen minutes of today, apparently.

[ Speed ] I want you naked. Waiting on me in bed. 

After he hit send, he set to finishing up the remainder of his paperwork and once that was done, he couldn’t get out of the lab and back to his apartment… To her… fast enough.

The drive across town seemed to take hours and not minutes.

XXX

My eyes settled on my cell phone screen and almost as soon as I realized just how close it was to time for Tim to be getting in from work, the wetter I got in anticipation. My cunt was throbbing already. We’d been teasing each other all day long. That teasing had me beyond ready for what I knew was coming my way as soon as he stepped through the door.

I’d just put the spaghetti I’d made us both onto plates when I heard the door shut. His heavy soled boots hitting the floor beside it with a soft thud. I bit my lip and called out to him, “In here, baby.” so he’d come into the kitchen and I went back to setting the table.

His arms wrapped around me from behind and he nipped at the shell of my ear, muttering against it “Something smells good, baby girl.”

“Spaghetti… Nonna’s sauce, too.” I answered, turning in his arms to press myself against him. He melted into me, putting my back right against the edge of the dining table and his mouth found mine in a hungry and biting kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck and I whimpered as his hands wandered down, grabbing hold of my ass, squeezing and rubbing me against him. I could feel him straining against his jeans already and if I thought I was wet before, I could feel my thighs slipping right off of each other in seconds. One of his hands left my ass, wandering up the hem of the tee shirt I’d taken out of his drawer to wear after my shower. When his palm settled against my throbbing cunt, I whimpered, rocking against it, breathless. 

He growled into another deep and bruising kiss as soon as he realized exactly how wet I was. Wordlessly, he scooped me up and carried me down the hall to his bedroom, pushing the door open, not bothering to break the kiss. He placed me on the bed and followed me down, settling over me.

The kiss broke and he gazed at me hungrily.

“I made food..” I barely managed to gasp the words. He licked his lips and spread my legs, leaning down and muttering against my mouth as his hand skimmed the inside of my thigh and settled against my aching cunt all over again, “I know, baby girl.. But I’m not exactly hungry for food right now, ya know?”

My back arched as his hand squeezed my center and he rocked himself against my lower body, letting me feel his cock straining at his jeans, getting even harder. His lips trailed down my neck lazily and he mumbled against my skin, “There’s something else I wanna taste so much more right now…” 

As he moved down my body, I tried to reach down between us, giving an impatient tug at the waistband of his jeans that only had him stopping to meet my gaze, chuckling quietly as he shook his head. “Not yet, baby girl.”

“Tim, please.” I moaned out, squirming and rocking against him, desperate for any kind of friction. What I really wanted was his cock buried inside me, but I knew he wasn’t going to give me that yet. Not after I’d been teasing him all day like I had.

Now, he was going to tease me.

His teeth caught on the hem of the tee shirt I’d borrowed of his to wear and he tugged it upward, playfully growling as he did so. Pulling me up so he could pull the shirt over my head and tossing it into the floor of the bedroom. While he had me sitting up, I went for the button and then the zip on his jeans and rose to my knees, pulling him into a greedy and biting kiss as I mumbled against his mouth with a soft giggle. “It’s my turn now.”

“Oh it is, hm?” he gasped as my mouth broke from his and started to ghost down the side of his neck. I gently shoved him against the mattress and the lower my mouth worked down his abdomen, the more I could feel him tensing with each little kitten lick, nip or kiss I left behind as I worked my way down. I tugged down his jeans and the boxers beneath and his cock sprang free, making me moan. Tim raised up slightly, watching as I dipped my head, taking his cock in my mouth, dragging my tongue across the tip and then lazily down the vein that ran the length of it. He shivered and his hands dug into the comforter and tangled up in my hair as he bucked his hips against my mouth carefully.

I wrapped my mouth around his length tighter, taking him deeper in my throat and the grip on my hair tightened as he groaned and rocked his hips against my mouth more urgently. This only made me smile to myself as I pulled my mouth away, a soft pop lingering in the air after suction was broken. After I caught my breath, I wrapped my lips around his cock again, bobbing up and down. His fingers tugged at my hair, guiding my mouth deeper until I felt the tip of his cock starting to hit my gag reflex. His other hand clutches the blanket. I kept at it, his groans and quiet growls and the way he moaned his name only spurring me onward. Until he was tapping me to get my attention.

I licked my lips, wiping my mouth and he  was raising up, grabbing hold of me and pulling me up his body. 

“I can’t wait, baby girl. Gotta have you right now. Fuck.” he groaned against my mouth as he captured it in another hungry and frenzied kiss. He slammed me down on his cock, gripping my hips as he pumped me up and down and I whimpered, my head falling back and my cries shattering the quiet of the apartment as they echoed off the bedroom walls. My nails dug into his shoulders and upper back lightly, raking over his skin as he filled and stretched me with his cock. 

“Oh fuck, Tim.. Baby, yeah. Faster, baby. C’mon.” I pleaded as my orgasm built quickly to an intense level I almost couldn’t keep at bay. His fingers squeezed my hips and he bucked himself up into me from below. Raising a hand, he reached up, catching hold of my jawline. Pulling my mouth down against his and conquering it in a deep kiss. His teeth hooked on my bottom lip, tugging at it and scraping against it and I whimpered as he started to slow down right as I felt my body tensing up and I could feel my orgasm about to shatter through.

He sat up, mumbling against my mouth, “Not yet, pretty girl. Not yet.” as he started to fuck into me slower… deeper. My head fell back and I bounced up and down on his cock until his hands slipped down my sides, squeezing my hips and bringing my movements to a grinding halt. He tilted my chin so that I had to look down at him and his mouth dove against mine, muttering softly into the kiss, “Easy, baby girl. I’m so fucking close right now.” and licked his lips as we pulled apart to breathe.

His hands moved down my body, gripping my ass as he started to buck into me from below and pump me up and down on his cock all over again. Slower. Almost so slow that I could feel him sinking in with each thrust, inch for inch. I was begging, whimpering his name over and over as I tried to get us going faster again, but he chuckled, gripping my ass harder, keeping me as still as he possibly could and shook his head no.

“Tim, c’mon baby, I… fuck.” I whined, begging for release. He muttered lazily against my mouth in a low and husky whisper, “After all the teasing today, baby girl… I’m gonna take my time with you.”

A shiver passed through me as his lips danced down my throat lazily, his teeth latching onto my skin here and there, leaving little marks behind as he continued to slowly fuck into me and pump me up and down on his cock. His lips moved slowly along my collar bones and I gasped, my head falling back in sheer bliss as he started to fuck into me deeper, the angle making every single deep drive feel amazing.

I dragged my hands through his hair, tugging at it as I buried my mouth against his, just to keep myself from screaming his name over and over when he continued to fuck into me deep and slow, pulling me up far enough with each drive that I could feel inch for inch of his thick cock as it buried back inside of me all over again. My fingers dug into his shoulders and his upper back and he shivered, nipping at my breasts as he circled my nipples with his tongue, teasing them to points, blowing on them softly, making me whimper and squirm in his lap, trying to speed up the pace.

He stopped completely, leaning his forehead against mine, taking my face in his hands as he gave me a deep and slow kiss, his lips locking around my bottom lip and tugging gently as it broke again for us to breathe.

“Love you so much baby girl. Having you here is amazing, you know that?”

I remembered my decision and at his words, I beamed softly, muttered back against his mouth with a soft giggle, “I’m glad you think so… Because honestly, I don’t want to leave.”

“You don’t have to, baby girl.”

“I’m not going to, Tim.” I answered, watching as the slow and lazy grin played at his lips, tugging the corners of his mouth upward. His hands smoothed over my hair and he pulled me against him as he started to fuck into me again.

Slow and deep. Lazy thrusts. He meant every single word of what he said when he’d told me earlier that he was going to take his time with me. And after my little surprise news, I could feel him relaxing.

I felt more relaxed too. I’d been feeling that way since I decided to stay earlier in the day.

We had all the time in the world now and I didn’t want to waste a single second of it…

I just wanted to enjoy being here, with him.

Because wherever Tim Speedle was, I knew that was where home was for me.

I gripped his face in my hands, pulling his mouth back against mine, pleading for my release. I ached for it. “C’mon, Tim, please baby?”

His grip relaxed on my body and I started to bounce up and down on his cock faster, whimpering and moaning, dragging my fingers over his back and through his hair as my orgasm shattered through, leaving me shaky, my walls clamping his cock as I rode out my high, milking his cock as it started to throb and he started to fuck into me harder and deeper, bottoming out, capturing my mouth in a deep and lasting kiss as his own orgasm took over and he filled me up.

“Feels so good, baby girl, fuck. I love the way it feels when you’re coming for me. You take me so well.” 

I deepened the kiss, my hand resting across the back of his neck as I did so. As we slowed to a stop and sat there, kissing and touching, he tilted my chin, making me look at him. Rolling his thumb over my bottom lip as he gazed at me in sheer adoration and I gazed right back at him in the same way. My eyes settled on the scar he still had from the life saving operation after he’d been shot and I lowered my lips, feathering a kiss over the wound. He chuckled, tilting my chin up, biting his lip.

The growling of our stomachs had us sharing a look, bursting into quiet laughter and Tim muttering quietly against my mouth, “That spaghetti’s cold by now. Want me to reheat it?”

“Yeah.”

He captured my mouth in another lingering kiss and mumbled against my lips with a chuckle “stay right here, baby girl. I got it.” as he let me settle into the bed and slid off, grabbing his boxers and slipping them back on, making his way down the hall and into the kitchen.

I smiled to myself.

Yeah, this really does feel like home.

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.3

What’s in a Name?

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)   x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 1850

Summary: When angel grace fails to deal with an amnesiac, the human ways will have to do. Too bad they are rather slow.

Warnings: swearing, amnesia, Team Free Will being themselves, alcohol

The briefest guide to SPN characters of Team Free Will (at the end of the post)

Story masterlist

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An ominous silence fell on the room, until an annoyed voice cut the air.

“Awesome. Is it like… a black nothing? White nothing? Or…?”

Castiel grimaced at Dean’s wry questions.

“It’s… it’s like a really tight knot, to be honest. The memories, I can feel them there, but… there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sorry. I couldn’t even get a glimpse. I’m sorry, Natasha. I wish I could be more help.”

Tears gathered in Natasha’s eyes, but she cautiously rose to her feet as if she didn’t trust her strength and took Castiel’s hands in hers.

“It’s alright, Castiel. Thank you for trying,” she whispered weakly, her smile forced. She turned to the brothers then, tugging at the shirt she was wearing. “I… can I keep those, please?”

“Yeaaah?” Sam answered unsurely, not following where she was going with that. “Why would you ask that?”

“I… I think I should go. Thank you-“

That had them all lunging forward, Sam speaking up first.

“Whoa! We’ve been over this. You… we can’t exactly keep you here by force, but you have nowhere to go. No money to live on. Your memory… is not okay. Castiel couldn’t find anything at the moment, but we’ll figure out a way to help you.”

“I don’t want to-to impose. I’ve- I have already-“ she stuttered, but was interrupted by Dean’s sigh.

“Look. I’m not gonna lie, I ain’t happy about babysitting you,” he announced honestly, rising from his seat, gesturing towards her with his beer as he spoke. Sam really hoped he was going somewhere with that talk, because so far, it sounded like he wanted to support Natasha’s decision to leave. “But we had much bigger problems at our hands and much more annoying too. Helping people is kinda what we do. It’s in the family.”

Her eyes were wide as she was watching the hunters and their angel, attentive and observant. She was clearly considering her options, wondering if Dean was being honest. Sam was pleasantly surprised by Dean’s speech to say at least.

She gulped before speaking up, her gaze falling on the floor. “…okay. Thank you. I’ll… I promise to repay you when I can.”

“I’m sure you will,” Sam hurried before Dean could tell something that would creep her out – like ‘having a few ideas about that’. Though Sam was most impressed by Dean’s earlier words.

“Can I just ask you something, Dean?” she quirked up then, the corners of her lips inconspicuously rising.

“Yeah?”

“…do angels count as your family?”

“You-“ the older brother started, only to shut up and realize he didn’t know how to finish. So he only pointed a finger at her in pretended warning.

Sam snorted a laugh. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

“If you must know, for us, family don’t end with blood,” Dean finally managed to reply and Sam couldn’t help but smile sadly at the memory of Bobby, a man who was an uncle to them, if not a father too. “It’s about the family you choose.”

An honest smile lighted up Natasha’s face, her eyes soft. “That’s nice…. So, where do we start?”

“Well, I should go,” Castiel announced swiftly, casting a glance at Dean, ever dutiful to the righteous man. “I’ll… see if I can find anything on the subject of soulmates I don’t already know.”

“Okay. See ya, Cas.”

“Bye,” Sam hummed absently, his mind already racing, wondering about their next steps.

With a sound of a flutter of wings, the angel was gone. Natasha stared blankly where he had been standing just a second ago.

“…oh,” she huffed, clearly caught off guard. “I didn’t see that coming. I didn’t even say goodbye.”

Sam only laughed at that – she seemed confused, sure, taken aback, definitely, but she was processing everything remarkably well considering what a mess she had woken up into.

“You’ll get used to it. We’re really tired, so we would catch few hours. I was thinking I could lend you my tablet?” the younger hunter offered, pulling it out of his bag and holding it out to her. She eyed it curiously and Sam realized where the problem might be. “I’ll show you how to operate it-“

“I… think I might know, actually,” Natasha admitted sheepishly, biting her lip as if ashamed. Sam couldn’t help the rise of his eyebrows.

“That you remember? You don’t know your name, but you know how to work with this thing?” Dean questioned, his eyebrows high as well. She only shrugged helplessly. Dean spun to Sam then, his face saying just how done he was with this situation. “Brains are weird, man.”

“More so when angels and resurrections are involved,” Sam added, grimacing wryly. Oh, he would know, wouldn’t he? They all would.

“Not wrong there.”

Sam turned his attention back to the woman then, seeing she already turned it on, the screen lit up. Huh. Okay then.

“I just thought you might wanna… look up things. Anything that comes to your mind.”

“Like unhuman things?” she asked half-bitter, half-curious.

“Oh, you don’t wanna look for those. You might find Twilight and Teen Wolf and stuff like that. Not to be trusted.”

Natasha tilted her head to side, not understanding what Dean was referring to, naturally, and Sam rolled his eyes. She reminded him of Castiel for a moment and a new idea struck his mind.

“Natasha, can I take a picture? I’ll run facial recognition… just to see if anyone reported you missing, okay?”

She hesitated, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, but nodded. “…Okay. Thank you, Sam.”

Sam led her to a wall, switching on more lights for better illumination of her face. He snapped a quick photo of her face and started the trace. Dean had managed to tuck himself in already.

“That was… fast. I promise to be quiet.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, Natasha. If you’re tired, just wake up one of us and we’ll leave you a bed, okay?” Sam offered, internally cringing at the idea of trying to fit onto the tiny-ass sofa.

Natasha glanced at the piece of furniture, then back at Sam and at Dean, her eyebrow slowly rising, probably thinking the same thing.

“Sure. Goodnight, Sam. Goodnight, Dean.”

The only reply she got was Dean’s snort. She giggled and Sam rolled his eyes, laying down to his bed, finding a comfortable position – as comfortable as one could find on a motel room bed. He was out in no time.

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Trying to research resurrections would have probably been a good idea. Or ‘how to cure amnesia’ or something like that. But no. Not for you.

The very first thing you wrote down – and really, could anyone blame you since Sam had specifically told you to look up whatever came to your mind – was the word ‘soulmate’.

It led you straight to a world of wonder. There was everything; it started with a definition, mostly matching what Sam, Dean and Castiel had told you.

Then the photos of soulmarks appeared. Some were funny and specific, like ‘Excuse me, but I believe that the dog that just ate my snack was yours,’ or ‘I’m afraid I’m in the wrong class, ‘cause I sure didn’t sign up for Greek mythology’. Others were annoying and general, something between the lines of ‘Can I borrow your pen?’ or ‘Is this seat taken?’. There were few that broke your heart: ‘Please, don’t leave,’ ‘I just got you, you can’t do this to me.’

You weren’t sure in which category your words would fall into; probably very specific and weird for both the crossed ones and the plain ones.

People were looking for their soulmates too. Either via forums, attempting to guess what comeback they would throw when hearing the words on their skin; another option was a few agencies that claimed to be able to find the match; that felt a bit like cheating and you doubted it worked anyway.

What took your breath away and made your heart ache were links to counselling for those who lost their soulmate. It made your chest tight for a very obvious reason, yet so irrational. You might have lost your soulmate, but you didn’t remember it; on the other hand, your other half could be suffering indescribable pain for their loved one, the one they had been destined to spent their life with. For that only, you felt tears gather in your eyes.

Then again, you could have been wrong. As far as you were concerned, you had never had to meet in the first place, and they only had their words crossed out just like yours, left with a dull ache and strange sense of longing.

There were brighter sides to soulmates too – many and many people shared their meet-cute with their destined partner, photos radiating love and adoration, with the subtlest shade of hate in the comments from people who no doubt didn’t have a soulmate to begin with. Because apparently, that was a thing as well; not everyone was bound to have a soulmate, not in the literal sense of the word. The world was a truly strange place.

You didn’t even realize you had started to rub your collarbone, your mind escaping elsewhere. What was your soulmate like? You believed with your whole heart he was one and the same person, saying both of the lines written on you.

Was he sweet? Polite? Or a bad boy? Tall or shorter than you, scrawny or built like a mountain? What colour were his eyes, his hair? Did he have a nice smile, warm and welcoming, or was a grumpy man? An extrovert, an introvert? Was he willing to show affection publicly or was he shy and private? What did he enjoy doing?

What was he doing now? And more importantly… where was he?

You sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. You could wonder, but it would be no help. You needed to pull yourself together, look up things that might be actually useful to you as a human being with amnesia and deal with daydreaming later.

You wanted to remember. You wanted to know your soulmate, but you needed to know your own persona first.

Hell, you didn’t even know your name.

For some reason you had chosen Natasha, but the motivation behind your actions slipped through your fingers, the truth burning on your tongue, leaving a bitter aftertaste as you couldn’t grasp it.

Alright. For now, you would be Natasha. You trusted your instinct on that one, choosing the name despite feeling it wasn’t your own, but still with a purpose.

Figuring out your last name was the next logical step. You couldn’t recall it either, so you just wrote down ‘American last names’ to the browser, waiting for results to pop up. You surfed through them for a minute, your fingers freezing on one particular name.

The name struck something in you, a spark lighting up like a flare in your chest and you knew this was the one you should pick.

You had been brought back from death. And until your true self and your mind would be resurrected, a new person had to be born.

That person happened to be Natasha Rogers.

“Natasha Rogers…” you whispered, barely audible and a smile spread on your lips involuntarily. You liked the sound of that. “That will do.”

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Part 4

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Thank you for reading :-*

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