#the first part will be i assume 17k and the second will be closer to thirteen

[prettyboykatsuki]

hohoho

[musinglymuse]

This recommendation list focuses on a popular pairing in Check Please! They bicker, they argue, they fight, they smo-- well, no smooching in canon but that’s what fanfiction is for! Nursey and Dex often embody the ‘enemies to friends to lovers’ trope, sparking constant speculation and hundreds of fanfiction.

I’ve compiled some of what I consider excellent fanfics that feature this couple although it does not contain all of my recommendations. They are in no particular order. I plan on creating more recommendation lists down the line, especially for other pairings in this fandom. You can find other fic recs tagged in my blog.

As a reminder, please make sure to check the tags and any warnings before reading. Take care of yourself!

got those wayfarers on by somehowunbroken Canon Divergence // ~8k // PG-13

It's all Bitty's fault. Indirectly. That's his story, and Chowder's sticking to it.

[In which Chowder does his best to matchmake from the other side of the continent over summer break, and is immensely pleased with the results.]

Petals and Thorns by rhysiana Musician / Florist AU // Series // ~17k // PG-13

Goddammit, Will thought as he dodged around a few strategically tall people and turned down a side street. How had he managed to leave the apartment without a hat? He peeked back around the corner. His fans were less than a block behind him, and he really couldn’t deal with them today. Frantically, he studied the shops around him, hoping for somewhere to hide.

Coffee shop? Too easy.

Ah! Nursery Rhymes: Poetic Floral Arrangements. Perfect. No one would ever look for him in there.

can’t change what the seasons bring by growlery Canon Divergence // ~1.7k // PG-13 They get back after winter break, and Dex has done something to his hair, and he was hot before, but now he’s, like, hot and he doesn’t look like a grumpy old man.“New year, new me,” Dex says dryly, and Nursey might be having kind of a crisis about it.

want to be (yours) anyway by shellybelle Canon Divergence // ~39k // PG-13

Dex learns Nursey’s secret halfway through practice on a cold morning in October.

“What the hell,” someone says, interrupting the Dex's shooting drill. “Is that a baby?”

(Or: Nursey has a secret, Dex has a crush, and things get complicated before they get romantic--which isn't to say they don't get romantic at all.)

Paint Me Like One of Your French Canadians by Denois Canon Divergence // ~6k // R

Lardo hooked Dex up with an extra part time job to help make ends meet back in his frog year. Modeling for the art classes was pretty easy money, and the team never had to know. Until Nursey took an art elective and needed a private model to complete his project and pass the class. Nursey's sure that he can keep it professional and friendly....as long as Dex never sees the completed paintings.

up to 104% perfect by winchysteria The Good Place AU // ~34k // NC-17

Will Poindexter and Derek Nurse finally know what happens after you die. You wake up in Hot God's office, you move into a really nice house, and-- you realize that you hate the person who's supposed to be your soulmate? Join a smug poet, a frigid computer nerd, and the rest of the Scooby gang as they ask questions like: what makes two people right for each other? what does it mean to be happy? does heaven get software glitches? and most importantly, why does this computer have a Southern accent?

Welcome! Everything is fine.

The World Only Spins Forward by Liminal_Space_LLC Soulmates AU // ~63k // PG

Dex and Nursey have been at odds for as long as they’ve been friends, but when Dex’s heartbreaking new soulmark has him turning to Nursey for advice, they will discover they have more in common than they ever realized. Together, they will help each other heal their heartache and become closer than they’ve ever been before. As their friendship grows, neither of them is prepared for newer, sweeter feelings to emerge.

However, Nursey has his secrets, and nothing scares him like the possibility of having his heart broken again. That doesn’t stop him from wanting, though, and as their feelings become stronger, both Nursey and Dex find it ever harder to hide them. Meanwhile, the stakes are becoming higher as the team comes closer and closer to the Frozen Four. Can Nursey and Dex overcome their fears to realize the love they feel, or will their anxieties destroy everything they’ve worked for?

starting to get to me by playingforkeeps Buzzfeed Unsolved AU // ~12k // PG-13

“You’ve been dragging us to bumfuck nowhere with that mating call for three years when you hear there’s a sighting. But we’ve never considered: what happens if Bigfoot answers it? That’s the goal, isn’t it? You’ve been after that good, good Bigfoot dick this whole time!”

Dex sputters. “I don’t want to fuck Bigfoot! Jesus, Nurse!” He glances at the others, disbelieving. “Back me up here, guys.”

Silence. Lardo says, “You do own a Bigfoot mating call, dude.”

All Hail the Underdogs by xiaq Boarding School AU // ~76k // PG-13

Lucifer was an angel once.

That’s what Nursey thinks, the first time he sees William Poindexter.

Because the boy is beautiful even though he shouldn’t be. Even though he’s doubtless the kind of person who would punch you in the face if you said the words “you” and “beautiful” to him in the same sentence.

His skin is choked with freckles. It’s potentially more freckle than skin. Not just his face, where his nose and cheekbones are so hyper-pigmented they look tanned, but his collarbones and forearms and knuckles. The close-shaved dark ginger stubble of his hair should make his ears look too big or his mouth too wide but instead it accentuates the long curve of his throat, the cup of velvet skin between the tendons in the back of his neck.

“You’re the new defenseman?” Nursey asks. “William Poindexter?”

And the boy turns around and considers him with what might be contempt but what might just be the way his face looks and says, “Yeah?” like its a challenge.

And Nursey thinks:

Oh no.

In So Many Words by alocalband Canon Divergence // ~17K // R Derek writes a short story. That's his first mistake. His second is getting it published.

bless this mess and call it a home by pepperfield Magical AU // ~27k // PG-13 The thing is, being able to talk to houses doesn't actually preclude them from conspiring to ruin your life. Dex finds this out a little too late. First comes the Dib Flip, then Nursey's bed, and the water heater...the Haus definitely has it in for him. In which Dex has house magic, Haus has Haus magic, and at least one of them is in love with Nursey.

#mine by rispacooper Urban Fantasy AU // ~17k // R Treasure, Will thought with an angry little snort. Nursey called almost everyone on the team treasure. He called Ford treasure. He’d even called Coach Hall treasure once. He did not call Will that. That was probably Will’s fault. Knowing that didn’t make Will feel any better about it.

love you as the plant that never blooms by sugarybowl & wishingonalightningbolt Canon Divergence // ~27k // NC-17 Dex doesn’t roll his eyes, but only because he’s overwhelmed with the thought that he really does have feelings for Nursey. Gooey feelings. Romantic ones. They see each other every day; they’ve been close, there’s been touching, and maybe—maybe it’s not quite as platonic as Dex assumed it was. From watching Ransom and Holster, anyone could get the idea that that’s just what friends do. But… It feels different.

“I like him,” he says, soft, contemplative. “I like when he’s around and it’s frustrating to watch him go. It’s horrible to think he might be upset at me, or that he thinks I lied to him. It’s killing me.”

Dex doesn't know what it is to want. With Nursey, he learns.

[blankdblank]

Next Caller Pt 28

“Come in!” Belly called out through the door making Thorin look from the sports car out front of your place. Cautiously he turned the doorknob and eased the door open bringing the Raven dangling from the arch across from the door with a grin on his face to his attention. “Contracts are being signed, come in.”

Thorin nodded and stepped through the door he eased shut behind himself watching Roac fly off after Belly leaving him confused a moment alone in the entrance hall.

Moving farther in the house he made for the kitchen assuming that if you were signing contracts that you would be in the dining room. In cheerful Hobbitish he could hear a pair of voices chatting with you and once in the kitchen he smirked seeing you cross legged on your bench at the table beside Ecthellion hearing one of the men over the video chat saying, “We are so thrilled to have finally gotten ahold of you. This show has just taken off like wildfire since The Shire caught onto it.”

His partner said, “Yes, and no matter what the issues with it being limited to solely Hobbit frequencies in television we assure you that on our streaming platform anyone with a membership could get to see just how amazing your show is.”

“Thank you,” you replied in Hobbitish, “It’s been incredible seeing how well the show has just taken off. We’ve even gotten offers to extend merch for it as well which my co-owner has been thinking on herself.”

Looking down again when Ecthellion brought out the last packet of contracts pre signed by them you signed your name and caught their spreading grins through the screen. Thank you’s were traded with well wishes and Ecthellion said, “I am on my way to your office with your copy of the paperwork right now gentlemen.” Signing off before shutting down the laptop he added to his bag and stole a hug from you kissing your forehead, “Sorry Dear, they sprung it on me two hours ago after they had found out about the culling that freed up objections. Want a bump to their spring lineup.”

Shaking your head you said, “No problem, I was awake. Drive safe.”

He chuckled and stood lifting his bag saying, “Enjoy your snuggling.”

Making you roll your eyes and shift on your seat to grin at Thorin, who said, “Hobbits are picking up the show?”

“My old tv show. All three seasons, gonna make a big thing of the voice actor from the Bunny Show voicing and animating it. Celebrian is pretty thrilled about it.”

Moving to the table he sat down asking, “Which streaming platform?”

“Bombedil.” Parting his lips making you giggle, “I know, it’s so crazy they bought stream time for two years! So huge!”

“That is huge, can I ask for how much?”

“2 million, but split between the both of us owners and paid out over two years it’s much more sensible than it sounds.”

“I’m so proud of you that is incredible.” He said laying his hand on yours resting on your knee smiling deeper at the blushing creeping grin his words triggered from you.

“Well, it’s only the beginning it seems for the show, it seems the Buckelberry Awards have put me in the pool for the Old Timer Award, for old shows that make a comeback. Animation and vocals.”

“Old Timer?” He chuckled out.

With a giggle you replied, “More than a century old.”

“If you win,”

“I most likely won’t, I hear it’s a rough competition most years.”

“Oh-,”

You pointed at him and said, “I don’t need awards. I’ve won two costume ribbons and I am good for life with that.” Making him chuckle again, “Sleep well?” You asked breaking the conversation to a different topic.

.

He didn’t end up staying long once Frerin called him to join in on his own stop to see Gloin. Where the first was the next day their lease would be up in two months and forcing his brother and Nephews together in one time for actual house hunting and he knew right where to start. From the list of Dwobbit dwellings that he and Gloin had been emailing about he spent the past couple weeks digging through. Since first seeing your home that Gloin had helped you into the endless traveling and hotels bringing him back to another parking garage and lift up to his assigned rooms that deep ache for something solid to return home to.

A spacious cave home in the larger portion of your own suburb. It needed some serious love and on his days off between his races he would head the relative crews to adjust it to everyone’s styles. Mainly shelving and other built ins were the most of the structural adjustments and the boys loved all the space they would have in the new place that their uncle hoped to design with ample space for guests. It would be slow even with his money to design the place and to their surprise Gloin already had the papers drawn up in Frerin’s name alone, already stealthily planning on the trio eventually moving out granting him more space to decorate. Thorin would end up with the second Master bedroom even though he seemed reluctant to plan on decorating the dwelling to his taste at all, somehow feeling like a sham compared to the thought of helping you fix up your home.

While he was off helping his brother settle his roots and head home again to start designing you were off on an adventure of your own. Dusting off your copy of your show you settled back to relearn after not having seen it in centuries since it was shut down in your refusal to pay your father’s clan your earnings. Disk by disk it all came back and calling it a night at a decent time you went to bed to be up and cheerful enough to get through the next show that could lull you to sleep if you didn’t with how slow paced the first part would slow to until the heroine would be found on the edge of impossible.

 .

“17k,” you muttered after having confirmed that your first check had been direct deposited into your account at 4 in the morning. Leaving 18k you slid your checkbook closer to you and across your latest in the Alice in Wonderland checkbook with the walrus and the carpenter on it you wrote out the check to repay Glori for his fronting you the gold to pay off your scooter.

Once again checking your email you smirked seeing the confirmation of the bunk bed crew coming to install your beds in your sisters’ room on Friday. Opening the saved mattress company website you went ahead and purchased the four saved mattresses for the bunk beds to your account in full that would show up on Thursday. Next the sea foam cushioned headboard and platform bed frame for your mother and Cirdan’s bed along with the four platform bed frames with cushioned headboards for the blue and orange bedroom were ordered.

.

Durin, for the first three hours the Durins listened to their ancestor’s forces grouping up with Wolsey and his forces shifting gears. Threat was aimed at Osgiliath and telling of an Ent uprising in Isengard had grated him possession of Holm. Though the admission of that had the cackling villain in his cage saying they would never find their precious Bunny. Their dearest friend who was assumed to have been lost in the waters flooding Isengard.

A switch however had it back to Bunny when it seemed the mood had sunk to the lowest for the avenging heroes. On the edge of a white city she awoke after being left by the Ent who had spent the past ten minutes singing a song. The song offering a reluctant state of calm to the listeners before a low gravely offering of long sleep from the protective Ent laying the damsel down in the tall grass. Eyes shooting open to the vibrations of distant marching through the earth were followed by the sound of a distant cannon however had her rolling over into all fours to start sprinting for the nearest shelter. Osgiliath. More and more moods sank while between the scrambling soldiers and beginnings of attacks from the dark forces encroaching they listened to the odd gathering of scraps and random objects.

Loud explosions edited to muffle to mimic ringing in Bunny’s ears with overlaid muffled orders and shouts played in the background while you kept narrating from the unknown third person narrator yet to be introduced. A scattering canon was fashioned and atop one of the highest towers still standing Bunny fired off in various directions giant balls of energy that once hitting he earth expanded two feet then snapped back in tighter sucking those within fifty feet of it, the closest being vaporized before the ball would explode into sporadic streaks of energy vaporizing others. Around the city the forces dwindled with the forces inside rallying to destroy those within the city walls thankful for their unknown protector. When the hull of the cannon snapped at its use being extended as long as possible it crumbled and wielding the largest piece of the stand she could muster to hold Bunny descended to try and aid those within the walls.

Swords clashed and arrows flew between explosions taking out walls more than once causing Bunny to stumble. “And that’s when she saw it, the foot of a small child cowering while the galloping brute with a mace overhead imbedded with nails swung carelessly into anyone and everything within his reach. Contorted and bred on malice and contempt for everything fair, everything he once was and had been torn from him, the beast rampaged tirelessly against the arrows lodged in his legs in failed tries to stop him. That was when she rose from the latest blast coating with her from debris off the last tower collapsing. Hair strewn about her lodging between tiny rocks and splinters of crushed timber beams and arches strewn about the courtyard in which she had fallen.

Between her now ash colored curls her eyes landed on the approaching fiend and clenching her fist around the hastily made handle of the support turned bludgeoning tool up she shot. Right in the fall of his mace the tiny terror clashed her tool knocking the deadly mace right in the proper spot to send it soaring from his hand. Victory however was not at hand just yet as in the force to swing the tool that hard her body had twisted out of position to block his next blow from his foot in a one legged re-gathering of his balance. Bouncing and tumbling across the rubble coated ground she came to a stop and in a trembling rise to all fours she groaned her way upwards in the beasts step past my hiding place.”

Gasps rippled through the masses listening hearing now at least a hint who the narrator was.

Again and again she was thrown and beaten down only to rise again making the narrator coil up more until on her back she laid coughing for air bloody and broken after managing to be thrown closer to a small crossbow. Loosely it was lodged under a beam allowing her to shoot the beast between the eyes in his leer over her ready to stomp the life out of her.

“In the loud crashing of their brutal battle soldiers had gathered to bring aid and in the rising cloud of dust over I raced to kneel beside her seeing again those same fearless glowing eyes brimming with kindness settle on my feeble self. Under the sight of flying shark crafts high above those same eyes closed in the streak of a dirt cleansing tear leaving a single hint of there being a person under all that blood and debris.”

The Captain of the Citadel approached with his soldiers and asked him what he’s doing here the boy stated he was running for the passages below the city as his father had ordered the unconscious woman saved his life from the beast

Atop two braced shields between the group of soldiers Bunny is carried to the Healers where the boy remains by her side while the second wave of forces attack with aid from Durin and Wolseys’ forces.

The King comes himself to inspect the woman the narrator is revealed as the Crown Prince, easing the chain around her neck up he lifts the pendant with a rabbit footprint set into a polished sphere of emerald.

Wolsey came to speak to the King after having come from the battle and spots Bunny. His saying her name is the last thing heard before the narrator saying, “I had no clue just how profound an effect that woman would have on my life. And in all these years there wasn’t a day where I didn’t think of my savior and how for decades I would not realize just how she had stolen my heart. But I wasn’t the only one to openly admit to her innocent thievery.”

.

“I thought you were almost gonna kill Bunny off!” Giggling in the hall you shifted the strap of your bag on your shoulder watching the next group get ready to start their own shift. “The Prince then? Bunny ends up with him?” Again you giggled and she huffed, “I hate this wait it out thing. This could be considered torture you know? The guys expect me to know something since I work on the show you know.”

“All the more reason to keep you in the dark.” Making her huff while you pulled out your phone after wondering about your first drive to the shop.

Peering over your shoulder she saw your thumb hovering over the open text chat for Thorin making her smirk, first at the name but then at the picture of the pair of you making faces in your trip. “Texting your snuggle buddy?”

“Wondering where I’m gonna park. Not sure if I can-,”

Reaching over in the absent tilt of your hand when you turned your head to wave at the man wishing you good morning on his way into his office she typed hastily, ‘Hey, Handsome, on my way. Where do you want me?’

“Hey-!” Turning your head you eyed the message then narrowed your eyes in a glance up at her while she gave a giggle and turned for the lift. “That-,”

Following after her you hugged and she said, “Oh like you haven’t teased worse.”

“Still-,”

*

“Where do you want me?”

Thorin mumbled and Dwalin grumbled back, “Bout a foot to your right would suffice, you’re cramping my caboose.” He said in an awkward twist around his frozen cousin who snapped out of his current grind mindset to answer your personal ring tone.

Thorin inched over and said, “Jaqi sent me that.” Dwalin chuckled in eyeing the message and turned back to finish his order with the mint drizzle he had grabbed. “That’s not helping.”

Balin behind him claimed his phone and typed back, ‘Park in my lot anytime, my Mafioso.’ A smile puffed his cheeks up when Thorin turned to look at him from Dwalin taking his phone back, “Just telling her she’s welcome to our lot. Clearly she’s asking about her scooter.” He said walking away sneaking a wink to his deeply smirking brother on to starting another order after passing the last over.

Thorin looked at the message, “Park in my lot anytime?! Do you know what that sounds like?!”

Dwalin chuckled patting him on the back rumbling lowly, “Like a fine response to ‘Where do you want me?’ Tit for tat.”

Thorin, “Ti-, don’t even get me started on that.” Looking to Balin he asked, “My Mafioso?! Mine?!”

At the counter a woman sighed making Thorin’s face drop and he pocketed his phone when she said, “The torment. Bare your soul. Just tell your lover how you feel, your family will have to understand. You can’t stop love.” She said lifting her mug she carried to her seat of still swooning friends wondering about Bunny’s love life from the ending of the show.

Thorin looked at Dwalin as he said, “Bare your soul.”

Thorin grumbled back, “How did my life become a soap opera for the world to pine over?”

Dwalin chuckled saying, “Two words,” Thorin nodded and Dwalin continued, “Surprise me.” Chuckling at Thorin’s turn to focus on his drink again with his mind wandering back to that first trip of yours into their little shop by chance when he couldn’t take his eyes off you or resist going up to talk to you again.

*

“Vana help me,” You said smoothing your hand through your bangs hanging into your face to brush them behind your ear again.

Mal leaned in and squeaked at the reply, “Park in his lot anytime!” Bumping her arm into yours earning an eye roll from you, “His Mafioso, he said his.” She pointed at your necklace again, “Told you. Your babies are having babies and now he’s getting all domestic on you pining helplessly. Couldn’t stop staring the other night by the way, like every other time I’ve seen him near you. He’s hooked, you little opiate you.”

Shaking your head you giggled saying, “I’m drugs now, thank you.”

She giggled again saying as she adjusted BamBam’s carrier bag in her arms while he napped, “It’s true, for him,” leaning in she added in a whisper, “His little green fairy.”

Shaking your head again you giggled out, “That’s absinthe.”

“Still illegal,” she said stepping to the opening doors of the lift letting you out into the garage to lead the way to your scooter section she strapped the bag into the basket mounted where her back half of her seat used to sit secured to the backrest to keep BamBam and other animals she transported safely on the pastel pink scooter.

“Have fun Mal.” You said and she smirked adding her own helmet straddling her idling scooter.

With a finger wave she said, “Enjoy your stop with your Mug Dealer.” Then took off leaving you shaking your head and exhaling deeply before brushing your hair back to add your own helmet. A turn of the key later and you raised the kickstands with a press of the right pedal and you were off to see where you could park to be out of the way for the workers in the shop. Trying your hardest not to imagine Thorin rumbling those words to you in a very different context than over a arming spot threatening to make you blush the closer you got.

.

Around the shop you drove and the trio’s eyes followed you until you vanished from sight, the action signaling the woman at the table to tap her friends’ arms casting them to silence.

Trotting on toe top in your usual bubbly way around the shop you wove between those passing on the streets and those exiting the shop ready to see their friends or return to work from their breaks to conference about the show. Though once you got up to the counter Thorin blurted out, “I’ve been framed.”

With a brow ticked up you fired back quite innocently though no less temptingly for the already flustered Dwarf. “Do you need a lawyer I know a few?”

“No, I was planning on handling this out of court.”

At your lips puckering before your voice sounded his brows twitched upwards, “Ooh is that the oiled up shirtless duel out of court settling or an under the table money trading type of deal?”

Thorin letting out a growling grumble through his instant deep blush spreading across his cheeks and turned away muttering to himself as if in an order, “Tea.”

In a giggle curious for what you said but also in amusement of his reaction you looked to the chuckling brothers with bill in hand that Dwalin accepted as you asked, “I missed something?”

Dwalin shook his head, “Nope, you certainly did not miss.” Narrowing your eyes a moment you looked him over then shook your head at his deepening smirk and turned for your usual seat.

Balin however lingered by Thorin’s side and muttered, “Alright, tit for tat remember that. Tillie just got in you go relax.”

Heaving a deep breath his chest sank then rose in a mustering of courage after having spotted the table of women already whispering about the pair of you with chins in their palms. Cradling your mug he walked to your table and said as he set it down. “Alright, I’ve got a tat for you.”

With brows raised in a glance up from your journal you were sketching in that you closed around your pen, smirking in asking, “A tat for me? Like a tattoo?”

“What? No, for your t-,” shaking his head your eyes narrowed curiously as he blurted out, “I am not bringing up your-,” his outstretched fingers motioning in a circle half heartedly gesturing to your chest. Deeply he exhaled curling his fingers on the hand he set on the table while you leaned forward only nearly drawing his eyes to your chest again at the table pressing your cleavage up more into his view over the criss-crossing tank top under your open flannel. “We should go to the zoo.”

“Now?”

“No, Wednesday. I’ll have to find some kids.” Again you giggled and he said, “And their parents, from my clan...Dwalin is going!” He added loudly glaring at his cousin.

Dwalin nodded, “Where?”

“The zoo!”

Dwalin’s eyes narrowed and Balin said, “Ooh, Billi has been asking to go again, we’re going too, on-,”

Thorin, “Wednesday!”

Balin nodded, “Yes! Can’t wait to see you there as well.”

With cup in hand Dwalin approached bringing Thorin his distraction brew in excuse to get closer only to see him blush as you took a picture of your mug asking, “So, Wednesday’s when we’re going to talk about my breasts again?” Smiling widely you watched Thorin inhale and lay his hand over the mug Dwalin set down to slide it closer to him. Lifting your mug you added, “As long as I get some dik-dik pics I’ll be ecstatic.”

Snorting deeply Dwalin turned seeing Thorin’s eyes snap wider as you took a sip of your tea, laughing loudly Dwalin staggered his way back to the office with Balin curiously after him to ask what was so funny.

In a broken croak of a whisper he asked, “A what?”

Smirking in lowering your mug you pulled up a picture of a dik-dik on your phone you handed to him causing his eyes to close and him to heave a deep exhale in the smoothing of his free hand over his face that came to a halt propping up his chin in passing back your phone. “That’s-,”

“Adorable, and I haven’t seen one in person. Well worth the stop.”

Keeping the topic off your stunning body he asked, “What are your plans today?”

“Buy my paint, then paint. You’re jealous, I know.”

“If you need a trunk I can go with you.”

Dwalin came over and seeing your mugs were nearly empty he proceeded to chat with the pair of you until they were and then ushered you both out the back to the parking lot.

On your scooter you settled and watched him pull out leading the way to the shop you had mentioned wanting to go to. Following behind it didn’t take long to get there and after your minute wait for him to walk from his parking spot to the bike section you waited by one of the dividing painted posts then walked in at his side. Calm chatting about the house picked up easing Thorin’s nerves about what you could talk about without being seen blushing madly through the hardware store.

Ample cans of paint later and a couple spray cans complete with masks, gloves and goggles for those metal pieces you stopped at the curtain rod section. With tons to choose from you lingered there a bit listing possible choices before you purchased the ones you wanted along with rings to add to the fabric for the curtails you were buying the next day.

Home again you went and stopping in the driveway you pulled into the empty section of the garage and pivoted the scooter around to face outward while he parked in the drive and got out with trunk open to start unloading. Paint was stacked on the workbench next to the new brushes and rods were left along the wall. Though for a moment in tying back your hair you froze seeing Thorin easing out of his sweater leaving him in his tank top, tossing that in the driver’s seat of his car he came back to join you in seeing what there was to be done. Each row was divided by what colors were needed and right away you got to work on the job at hand. Though between pieces his gaze couldn’t help but sneak to you and his phone would come out and steal pictures of you at work. A stretched out tongue in an awkward face for his last picture had him laughing at your having noticed him.

Closer and closer he inched taking notice you had joined in on the picture taking resulting in you both having a picture of the other stealing another picture creating a partial stand off and pause on painting for giggles. An echo however turned your head hearing a group of teens bickering their way to your mailbox. “I swear it is!”

“No it couldn’t be!”

“No one famous lives out here!”

Turning as well Thorin watched with you as the boy held up his phone saying, “See! The runes match! I told you it had to be her! Says right here animator and voice actor, she works on the Bunny show!”

“Oh this can only end well.” You muttered and Thorin came closer in their rush off after looking to your house. The smallest in the group returning your wave before joining his friends on their hurry home shouting about they were going to watch it right away. “Isn’t the show a bit mature for their age?”

Lowly with brows furrowed he hummed out, “Um, most of it should be fine. That pirate episode, yes, that one yes. Only got through the first season so far.”

In a giggle you replied, “Then no doubt season three might leave some scars. Serious angst and drama.” Making him chuckle to himself and join you in getting back to work to finish it all through the continued whispers of those passing by also commenting on the runes on your box also having taken notice of the latest show being advertised on Bombadil for streaming.

A break for lunch you made was followed by Thorin’s aiding you through the house to carry each piece to where you wanted it. Each piece being crossed off the list only made his smirk deepen and his pride swell seeing how much more together the house was coming. Nodding he said on his way to his car as you walked him out, “It’s looking spectacular. Now all you need-,”

“Thursday the mattresses for the bunk beds arrive and Friday the crew will be here to install them along with another to assemble the bed frames for Naneth’s and the blue/orange guest room.”

“Wow,” though his brows sank a moment and he asked, “Two teams? With just you here?”

“They’re very reputable companies.”

“No I don’t doubt that, it’s another old Dwarf tradition, if you don’t mind we’ll drop by, keep you company. You should always have an ally when builders come.”

“Fine, thank you again, now go get some sleep.”

Making him chuckle and climb into his car, “Same to you. Night. See you first thing.”

Pt 29

[liesonthefloordramatically]

Okay, since AO3 apparently doesn’t want my full essay of context notes dropped in the endnotes, here they are in all their unabridged glory.  

(Link to the fanfic if you somehow managed to stumble on this accidentally.)

Holy cow, kids!  We did it!  We made it to the end!

The genesis of this fic was seeing someone complaining about Jotaro not using Star Platinum: The World that much and going, “Oh, but that’s obviously trauma though.”  I tried to explain this to anyone who would listen, and then wound up accidentally writing 17k of fic because I have a surfeit of emotions about JJBA and trauma.

This is, by the way, the longest piece of fiction I’ve written since 2011.  Holy frick.  (Also my first time posting a multi-chapter fanfic.)  I had a ton of fun writing this (maybe….too much fun), and hopefully you had fun reading it too.

Here are the long-promised notes since I’m an incorrigible nerd who put way too much thought (and research???) into this ridiculous thing. I don't think you need to read these in order to understand the fic (at least, you shouldn't if I've done it correctly), but in case you're interested...

PTSD - surprise, this is a fic about PTSD.  PTSD manifests in different ways for different people (and for different types of trauma), but in terms of this fic, the main symptoms I decided to run with are: hypervigilance, perception of time becoming weird/sense of foreshortened future, dissociation, and sleep-related issues (although there are also a bunch of other symptoms that make an appearance). I picked this particular cluster for obvious thematic reasons (Star Platinum’s abilities look a lot like/interface particularly poorly with PTSD), but also because I wanted to write something different than standard depictions of PTSD, which tend to be focused on nightmares and flashbacks. I also wanted to write PTSD-related hypercompetence, because it's not something I usually see depicted--PTSD is often represented as declining functioning (I suspect in fanfic this has something to do with the tendency toward hurt/comfort) rather than being outwardly very functional but not necessarily in a healthy or constructive way.

Japanese religion, in general - I leveraged six years of graduate study for this fic, so all Japanese religion facts given are Real and Accurate.  My personal headcanon (as is probably clear from this fic) is that Holly would be pretty gung-ho about a lot of Japanese religious practices whereas Jotaro is probably...lukewarm at best, and approaches them much like many Japanese youth would have during that time period, i.e. as customs that they don’t necessarily attach deeper spiritual meaning to.

If you have deeper knowledge of Japanese religion, there are a bunch of little Easter eggs hidden throughout this fic, but I’ll leave it up to you to find them.  Have fun.

Spirit possession - When I first saw Stardust Crusaders, I thought it was fascinating that Jotaro immediately took Star Platinum to be an evil spirit--after all, given the religious trends in Japan at the time, that wasn’t an unreasonable assumption!  

Spirit possession has a long history in Japanese religion, but it’s been most prominent in the modern period as part of various New Religious Movements (NRMs), many of which have been founded by people who claimed to be possessed by spirits or gods.  In the 1970s and 1980s, there was an “occult boom” along with the emergence of second-wave Japanese NRMs, sometimes referred to as the New New Religious Movements.  These groups tended to be based on the idea that the universe is fundamentally chaotic and you have to train in order to ward yourself from that chaos (which often takes the form of malevolent spirits) and/or develop superhuman abilities.  (The most famous of the Japanese New New Religious Movements is Aum Shinrikyo, which was founded in the mid-1980s but achieved international notoriety with its 1995 sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway.)  The official kanji for Stand (幽波紋) 100% looks like something that would be used by one of these groups.

In general, Japanese understandings of spirit possession don’t necessarily align with Christian understandings of spirit possession.  Namely, Christian views of spirit possession seem to be mainly negative (as people are understood to be possessed by demons), whereas, historically, spirit possession in Japan was seen as dangerous but not necessarily evil.  “Being possessed” does not necessarily look like the sort of “speaking in tongues, head spinning around” type of demon possession either--the verb for being possessed (憑く), a variation of which appears in the first episode title for SDC, can refer to a variety of conditions, from having a supernatural entity inhabiting your body (pretty “classic” possession) to having a supernatural entity attached to you or following you around to help or hinder you (maybe a little closer to what we’d call “being haunted” in English).  While people could be possessed by harmful entities (or by well-meaning ones who are nevertheless disruptive), they could also be possessed by positive ones.  In fact, before the Meiji period (1868) there were classes of ritualists who would get spirit possessed professionally--like shamans or spirit mediums.  Spirit possession was excised from Shinto in the modern period, so some of these ritualists no longer exist (miko, for example, no longer get spirit possessed), but others--like the itako (blind spirit mediums mainly located in Northeastern Japan)--do.

There are some NRMs (Omoto is the first that comes to mind) that believe/believed that each person has a “protective spirit” (or something similar) that watches over them and can influence their lives in positive or negative ways.  Through training and personal growth your protective spirit could also level up; sometimes this meant gaining supernatural abilities but it could also mean your protective spirit literally moving to a different level of the spirit world (from the “bad spirit world” to the “good spirit world,” for example).  This protective spirit could be an ancestor or it could be a completely unrelated entity.

When we first see Jotaro in jail, he has a bunch of books on various spiritualist/occult topics, so it’s not unreasonable to assume that he would be aware of the ways that spirits/spirit possession were being formulated in Japan at the time.  So I picked up that idea and ran with it as far as physically possible.

(Plus, I haven't stopped screaming since seeing the kanji for Stand so now I'm trying to pull all of you down into “maybe Stands are modeled on spirit possession” hell with me.)

Spirit medium or victim of possession - One of the big ways to divide up spirit possession is whether it’s voluntary or involuntary.  Voluntary possession means you choose to be possessed; involuntary means it just sort of happens to you (and you can’t make it stop happening).  There’s also the category of induced possession, which is where someone else makes you possessed (and then usually communicates with or controls the spirit that’s possessing you).  If you think of Stands as a form of spirit possession, it’s probably involuntary (users, for the most part, don’t choose to be), and, in the case of folks who aren’t born Stand users (especially folks who get their Stands from one of the arrows), induced.  But, on the other hand, how you’d classify it depends on whether you see users as constantly possessed (in which case it’s involuntary) or only possessed when they summon their Stands (in which case it’s voluntary).  

Kamigakari, which is mentioned specifically in the last chapter, is a form of involuntary possession in which a person is possessed by a single entity (usually a deity).  In the modern period, this pattern is most frequently seen among the founders of NRMs--often they undergo a period of extended suffering or trauma before becoming possessed by a deity that uses them as a vessel to spread correct teachings (through uncontrollable preaching, automatic writing, etc.) and right the wrongs of the world. They often go through a period of fighting with or trying to exorcise the deity before finally making peace with it and accepting their role as its vessel/mouthpiece.  Again, took this idea, ran with it as far as physically possible.

Evil spirits - Jotaro specifically refers to Star Platinum as an “evil spirit” (悪霊) in the first episode of SDC.  This is a pretty broad category in Japanese religion that just refers to spirits (not necessarily ghosts) that are evil.  The term is sometimes (especially from the 1970s onward) used specifically to indicate the spirits of dead people who have come back for revenge (specifically tatari, which is too complicated a concept to go into here).  (The more specific term for people who were wronged in life, died, and then came back to wreak havoc is goryou (御霊), but that’s mainly used to refer to beliefs and practices that were in vogue over a 1000 years ago.)  Long story short, “evil spirit” could arguably mean that Star Platinum is the ghost of Jonathan Joestar back for revenge or it could mean that it’s just a spirit (not necessarily the ghost of anyone or anything) that is evil.

Are Stands actually a form of spirit possession? - I leave this as an exercise for the reader.

(Okay, slightly less cop out answer: for the purposes of this fic, it does not actually matter, because at the end of the day this is a fic about Jotaro coming to terms (or not) with himself/his trauma/his Stand rather than the exact mechanics behind it. One of the things I find really interesting about spirit possession is the way it's used to make sense of and come to terms with nonsensical and unbearable situations, so that's the way I've chosen to employ it here.  If you want to read Stands as a type of spirit possession, I’m certainly not going to stop you, but if you don’t buy it, that’s legit too.)

---

I think that’s all the notes I have for now, but if you want further information/clarification/bibliography/context notes for something mentioned in the fic, let me know in the comments or drop me a line on tumblr and I’m happy to infodump at you until the cows come home.

And, hey, thanks for coming on this bizarre adventure (*audible wink*) with me.

[rainbowoffics]

FIC REC’S OF 2017 part 4 (march-april)

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet (80k) CHAPTERED 

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.   FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP WITH A TWIST

You Always Seem To Bring Me Light by sinisterist (18k) CHAPTERED

He jumps when he feels a hand stroking his hair lightly. “I love it like this,” Louis murmurs, reaching to tug a wayward curl.

“Love what like this?”

“Your hair.” Louis’ touch is hesitant, almost reverent, all trace of humour gone now. “When it’s still kind of damp but the ends are dry and curl up like corkscrews. It’s supposed to look gross but it doesn’t.” He pauses before continuing quietly. “Your curls are so lovely.”

Harry swallows. Louis is a hurricane, and amidst his whirlwind of emotions, he slowly says; deliberately says, “So are you.”

In a world where YouTuber baker Harry pines for the (inconveniently taken) Louis. In other words, another YouTuber AU.

Emperor’s New Clothes by sunsetmog (92k) CHAPTERED

The fact that Louis’s most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louis’s clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.

or: Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship. SECRET RELATIONSHIP

Flour And Chocolate by teaandtumblr (145k) CHAPTERED 

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street. KID FIC, SINGLE DAD!LOUIS, BAKER!HARRY

Needing You More And More, Let’s Give Love A Try by supernope (33k) ONE SHOT

'Do not get hard, do not get hard,' Harry chants in his head. It’s working, but Harry still breathes a silent sigh of relief when Louis lets go of his wrists and clambers off of him. He doesn’t move for a moment, just watches Louis fuss nervously with his fringe before saying, “Why don’t we go walk off breakfast?”

Harry only hesitates for a second, then nods. He gets to his feet with a quiet, “Be right back,” and heads back to his bedroom to get dressed. Once safely enclosed in his room, Harry glares down at his belly and scolds, “It’s bad enough that you’re messing with my body temperature, do you have to mess with those hormones, too?”

There’s no answer from the baby, but Harry takes that as surrender. Pausing by his bed, Harry takes a second to shake off the residual, lingering embers of arousal before choosing an outfit for the walk. He’s already pregnant with a stranger’s baby, the last thing he needs right now is to be lusting after his best friend.

[OR when Harry gets pregnant after a one night stand, Louis helps him get everything together, from buying pregnancy clothes to taking him on a babymoon. Somewhere along the way, they realize that their feelings for each other are more than platonic.] MPREG!HARRY, FRIENDS TO LOVERS

May You Enjoy Your New Life by aimmyarrowshigh (264k) CHAPTERED

It begins for them all at the bungalow –

'Alright, time to lay out the cards. We’re in this together and hopefully, for the long haul, yeah? So I think – you know, we should just be honest. It’s deal-breakers time. That thing that like, if we’re gonna hate you or something, just tell us all now.'

When One Direction begins, Harry Styles is a sixteen-year-old boy foundering under the pressure of impending fatherhood. His ability to balance the sobering responsibility of caring for his tiny daughter, Millie, and the exhilaration of seeing his own dreams coming to fruition affects not only his future, but those of Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis, who never expected fealty to be the key to their success. But Liam is the first to show him how to grow up without growing old, and Zayn is the first to defend from the public what is private and precious. Louis -- Louis is the first for a lot of things; for most of the moments of Millie's life and for the moments of Harry's that matter. And Niall is the first to toast when Millie is born: Go maire sibh bhur saol nua -- 'may you enjoy your new life.' KID FIC

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots (43k) ONE SHOT

t doesn't feel like falling in love, the way it had felt the first time around, easy, simple, almost like floating, wrapped up in a whirlwind of touches and kisses, late nights spent laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. This feels broken, complicated, like every move carries the weight of their past. Like the floorboards beneath them could collapse at any moment. This doesn't feel good.

Or, the one where Harry loses the love of his life on New Years Eve and finds him again, six months later, ready to open some poorly-stitched wounds. EXES TO LOVERS

See Clearly Now by Awriterwrites (11k) ONE SHOT

“My eyes are up here.”

What? Was— was Louis flirting with him?

Harry looked up — much too slowly, probably — and saw Louis watching him, his mouth quirked up on one side, a grin threatening to steal the pretty curve of his mouth.

“What?” Harry squeaked.

Louis put his hands on his hips, almost challenging Harry to look again, “I said...my eyes are up here.”

Harry felt something electric pass between them. He felt the need to take a step forward, call Louis’ bluff, see if he was more bark than bite.

Biting sounded really fun right about now.

OR a five-times fic where two guys, one college dorm room and a faulty door lead to a few embarrassing situations and finding out more about themselves and each other than they ever bargained for. ROOMMATES

In This Light by exhilarated (99k) CHAPTERED 

Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance. FAMOUS/NOT FAMOUS 

Carried Away Like Butterflies by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee (17k) ONE SHOT

“Actually…” Liam said, scratching his chin absently. “I have a friend who is moving to London soon.” “Without anywhere to live? Who is it? Do I want them living in my home?!” “You met him at my birthday party. Harry, from Cheshire. Remember? Really tight jeans, curly hair down to here?” Realisation dawned on Louis, staring at Liam who was gesturing round about his nipples. Did he remember Harry? Did he remember Harry? He remembered Harry’s square front teeth biting into his collarbone, and he remembered Harry moaning, loud and obscene with no provocation. He remembered Harry dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and roughly pulling Louis closer. He remembered, vividly, Harry’s lovely plump lips wrapping around his- “Lou?” “Uh- what?” Louis said, startled. “Oh, yeah. Um, I think I remember him.” - It was probably a huge mistake for Louis to let his former One Night Stand move into his spare room, especially when said One Night Stand doesn't seem to remember him. ROOMMATES, PINING

Life Was A Song, You Came Along by rainbowninja167 (37k) CHAPTERED

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain. SONGWRITER!LOUIS, MUSIC STORE OWNER!HARRY

Now You Know Me (For Your Eyes Only) by nadinecestmoi (77k) CHAPTERED

AU, Where Harry and Louis are solo artists and they’re not exactly friends per se but they’re friendly, know each other from industry parties and things like that and there’s always been this weird unspoken sexual tension between them and Louis’ always kinda confused bc isn’t Harry the biggest ladies’ man in the industry?? And one day Harry asks Louis to collab with him and of course Louis says yes even tho he’s kinda surprised and Harry plays the song for him and Louis is completely blown away by how beautiful it is and it’s a love song and he’s like damn, whoever this is about is lucky as fuck bc it’s clearly written from personal experience so they spend all this time together recording and it’s super bittersweet bc they click right away and it takes Louis about three seconds to realize he has a huge fucking crush on Harry but on the other hand Harry clearly had someone in mind when he wrote the song so the last day of recording comes and Louis’ like “thanks for having me on the song” and Harry just shrugs and is like “well it just seemed fitting bc the song is about you” SOLO ARTIST!LOUIS, SOLO ARTIST!HARRY, FRIENDS TO LOVERS

What’s Stopping You? by kikikryslee (14k) ONE SHOT 

That shirt was what held his attention again. How many other guys had the same shirt that H and Harry had, and – wait. H… Harry. Harry did yoga. So did H. They both had the same shirt, and had both gotten home ten minutes ago and were cooking dinner. No way. Louis looked at the picture again, and stared more closely at H’s lips. They were pink and pouty, with the lower lip a bit plumper than the top, just like Harry. And H had brown, curly hair that reached his shoulders, just like Harry. Louis looked over at Harry, who was putting his hair back up into a bun as the kitchen was most likely getting warmer. “Holy shit,” Louis whispered. Have I been flirting with my own roommate all this time? --- Or, the one where Harry wants to get over his crush on Louis, so he makes a Grindr account to find someone new. Of course, Louis messages him, not realizing H's real identity. It only takes a few days for them to figure it out. FRIENDS TO LOVERS, ROOMMATES

Can’t Start A Fire Without A Spark by larrymylove (22k) ONE SHOT

Louis Tomlinson is the pop sensation with his first new single out since taking a personal hiatus from the spotlight. Harry is a paparazzi hired to photograph him during promo. Louis hates paparazzi with a passion, but there’s just something about the pretty young pap with wide green eyes and chocolate curls that Louis can’t shake from his head. ENEMIES TO LOVERS

[evilisk-played]

Labyrinthine December Pt 1: I Compare Stats

(Somehow, I feel like a Cho-Marisa portrait might be appropriate here because look at that beefy MAG stat)

So I went compared all the stats one by one (HP, ATK, DEF, MAG, MND and SPD). What I did for this is use the stats of each character's current, theoretical maxed out level. Part of this so I know where I should be allocating bonus points to get characters up to speed. The other half is that comparing current stats would be off because some characters are at the level cap, while others are 40 levels behind. This way was the most “equal” way of comparing stats I could think of. 

Now, without further ado...

= = =

Characters by Health Points

Komachi is the highest at 50k HP. This is no surprise at all; Komachi's whole gimmick is that she has stupid huge HP but zero defense.

Following Komachi are:

Meiling (29k), Remilia (26k), Youmu and Yuugi (25k), Sakuya (24k), Suika (23k), Flandre (22k), Wriggle and Reimu (21k), Mokou, Eirin, Ran and Rinnosuke (20k) and Yukari (19k)

These stats are really surprising.

Meiling and Remilia have always been my back up tanks, so it's a bit shocking to see them growing more health than the other characters.

Yukari, Ran and Eirin all being on the lower end of tank health is surprising too.

It seems that if I'm underusing any characters here, it's Wriggle and Youmu.

For comparison, here are the characters with the lowest amount of health:

Patchouli (7k), Kaguya (8k), Suwako (11k), Marisa and Rumia (12k), Orin (13k) and Chen and Minoriko (15k)

Almost all these results are expected... except for Rumia. Geez Rumia. I've been thinking about how to use her as a backup healer for Reimu, and this makes her seem really unflattering (because her other stats are also abysmal).

= = =

Characters by SP (I can't remember what the S is for)

The leaders in this category are:

Patchouli and Marisa (1.1k), Reimu (1k), Yukari, Kaguya, Sanae and Ran (900), Eirin and Alice (800)

...but this isn't a category I'm particularly interested in; every character runs out of SP at some point, I usually just swap em out at that point. The only thing worth pointing out is that Reimu, Kaguya and, Sanae and Alice have surprisingly good SP growth. All the other characters I have intentionally cultivated to have higher SP (because they require more frequent usage of their skills. Marisa especially relies on extra SP to make Master Spark more damaging)

= = =

Characters by Attack

Since there are a truck load of characters that have zero reliance on the ATK stat, let's just pay attention to characters with the highest ATK stats. That is:

Flandre (26k), Yuugi (22k), Suika (19k), Remilia (18k), Aya, Komachi and Suwako (17k) and Chen, Youmu, Nitori and Rinnosuke (16k),

Seeing these attack stats really confuses me.

Flandre being top isn't a surprise (she's the ultimate fire power character)

Yuugi having second highest is weird as I’ve been intentionally cultivating her HP and DEF with bonus points. Seems like I can continue that trend.

Aya, Komachi and Suwako is a really weird result. Those first two don't come off as having remarkable attack power, while Suwako is one of my nukes and she outdamages these other characters by a ton. I have to assume her attacks rely on hybrid (ATK + MAG) formulas.

Chen, Nitori and Youmu explains why Youmu seems so weak. Chen's damage isn't impressive *at all*, it's the fact that she can attack like four to five turns in a row before the enemy can that makes her damage output good. Cirno and Sakuya being at 12k and 13k ATK respectively only corroborate this theory of 16k being rather low (because Cirno and Sakuya are *very* underwhelming considering their attack power).

Nitori, on the other hand, has a really good formula on her Cannon so she can definitely get away with having 16k ATK. Youmu, on the other hand, is supposed to be a nuke, yet she's not even on par with the other nukes in this category (Flandre at 26k, Yuugi at 22k, Suika at 19k, Suwako at 17k). It seems that if I'm going to build to her being a nuke, I need to up that damage big time.

Not shown here is Orin's pititful attack at 13k. I also might need to up her ATK (depending on her skill formulas)

= = =

Characters by Defense

Leading the defense pack is Tenshi "The Wall" Hinanawi at 15k. 15k isn't as impressive as you'd think (the highest MND character has 20k MND) but this is less of an issue for Tenshi as her gimmick is having amazing DEF and MND.

After Tenshi is Yuugi, also at 15k. Then you got Meiling (14k), Youmu and Remilia (12k), Rinnosuke and Sakuya (10k), Yukari, Eirin and Wriggle (9k), Ran (8k), Mokou, Alice and Aya (7k) and then Suika, Kaguya and Reisen (6k)

These statistics are shocking, to say the least.

Meiling is surprisingly more capable than I expected. Youmu being on par with Remilia, and higher than Sakuya, Ran and Yukari, is very confusing. She doesn't feel as tanky as any of those characters (though perhaps the issue has been less of DEF and more of resistances?)

The real shockers here are Ran, Suika and Yukari. These three are like my three most common tank characters. When I play, their tankiness feels like they’re closer to Eirin and Sakuya's values (that's 9k and 10k respectively). Thinking on it, these three characters have the common ability to self-buff themselves. Knowing that about 6k - 9k is the baseline defense you need really makes me reconsider my approach.

Also, Wriggle, Alice and Mokou are tankier than I'd given them credit for.

On the lower end of the spectrum, Minoriko, Sanae and Rumia have stupidly low DEF and this only vindicates my feeling of those three being fragile.

= = =

Characters by Magic

Okay, so this section feels like it's massively under-performing in relation to the attack category.

Starting off the Magic category is Marisa at 25k. This... is not good. First off, it's not even higher than the ATK cap at 26k. What's worse is that Marisa's magic stat is massively inflated with skillpoints. No seriously, Marisa has been doping with about a MAG Level of 92. For comparison, most characters haven’t hit past X stat Level 30/40. It’s absurd, and it’s not a natural amount. (Thinking on it, Komachi’s 50k health might be in a similar position, though I know for a fact that she’s not up to HP Level 92. Only Marisa has an absurd level).

Removing Marisa from the equation, our natural lead is Patchouli at 20k. Yeah, that's a big gap. Patchouli is kind of redeemed by also having 20k MND, making her a balance of 20k-ish MAG AND MND (the closest comparison on the phsyical side is 22k ATK / 15k DEF with Yuugi).

With that said, all the other characters seem to be massively under-performing here.

After Patchy at 20k, you have Alice, Flandre and Kaguya at 16k. That’s 4k lower than Patchy, which is shocking. Even worse is that one of these three is *just* a hybrid attacker (Flandre, who also holds the highest ATK). Kaguya being up there isn’t surprising, as Hourai Barrage is just MAG murder. Alice being there is surprising.

Then there’s Suwako, Sanae and Ran at 15k. After looking it up, Suwako is actually NOT a hybrid, she just has high ATK and MAG stats (with individual ATK and MAG spells). This is weird, to say the least (because again, that doesn’t explain Youmu’s poor output). This number doesn’t seem impressive, given that Sanae and Ran are pure support (and Ran’s attacks have never struck me as impressive). It does make me reconsider having Sanae as some sort of attacker though...

After that are Mokou and Yukari (14k), Eirin and Yuyuko (13k), Reimu, Rumia, Iku and Reisen (12k), Cirno and Rinnosuke (11k) and then Minoriko and Orin (10k).

Again, it seems everyone's under-achieving in this category. The only stats I can understand are Cirno's (she's a very mediocre attacker, so 11k makes sense), Eirin (her healing isn't MAG reliant, so I've been buffing her tankiness) and Sanae and Reimu (they rely on MAG for their healing formulas). Oh and Patchouli (she tracks) and Marisa (she doping)

Everyone else is underperforming. Mokou, Yuyuko, Reisen and Orin are all behind with their phys ATK cuonterparts. I should probably focus on MAG for them now. (Minoriko also needs a boost, she is not on par with her fellow healers *at all*)

= = =

Characters by MND

Conversely, it seems that MND is more balanced among my party.

Patchouli leads with a whopping 23k (this is more than I initially remembered as 20/20 for MAG MND). I kinda realized that between Marisa, Suwako, Nitori, Yuugi, Chen and some others that I didn't really need more nukes. What I don't have, however, is a MND tank, so that's the goal for Patchy now and she seems to be doing it damn good.

Following her is the Wall at 15k.

Then it's Yuyuko and Reimu (14k), Yukari and Marisa (13k), Kaguya, Sanae, Alice and Iku (12k), Suika, Orin and Ran (11k), Rinnosuke, Minoriko and Eirin at 10k, and then stragglers at 9k (Nitori), 8k (Remilia, Wriggle, Rumia) and 7k (Mokou, Sakuya, Meiling)

Some notably low MND characters are Yuugi, Reisen and Youmu who are about 5k and under. Reisen and Youmu being at 5k explains a LOT about their survivability, to be honest.

Some of the interesting results are Yuyuko and Reimu almost being at Tenshi's level, Marisa being on par with Yukari, Kaguya, Alice and Iku at 12k, Nitori at 9k and the 7k and 8k club.

It's a bit shocking that 7k to 11k is where all my tanks are, because that's not very tanky at all!

= = =

Characters by Speed This is another category that I'm de-emphasizing. Here's the actual full list of speeds:

800 Chen 600 Aya 500 Cirno, Orin 400 Reimu, Marisa, Remi, Sakuya, Nitori, Ran, Reisen, Flandre Hi-300 Mokou, Suika, Suwako, Komachi, Alice, Wriggle Lo-300 Rinnosuke, Kaguya, Eirin, Sanae, Youmu, Rumia, Yuugi, Sanae, Meiling, Minoriko 200 Patchy, Tenshi, Yukari, Yuyuko

I think I can effectively tier characters as Gotta Go Fast (800), Ayayaya (600), Fast (500), Not-So-Fast (400), Officially Slow (Upper 300), Very Slow (Lower 300), Focus Speed (200)

This list is pretty surprising, as some characters don't feel as fast as they're portrayed. I think this is down to the fact that "delay / cooldowns" on skills exist.

Like it really makes you think that Reimu might be at 400 speed, but with her cooldowns, she's closer to all the other healers (at Lo-300).

(Also, Rumia, what's wrong with you? Don't you have ANY good stats?)

= = =

The results

I've learned a lot about my party through this analysis. Here are some of my preliminary thoughts.

Suika: it seems like she's a character I've given far too much credit, because her stats don't seem so great on paper. I think having an easy buff (Missing Power) is what gives her so much mileage to me. I’ll have to use her stats as a guide for “which characters could be tanky enough with enough buffs”

Orin: I'm not giving her enough credit. I think comparing her to Aya and Chen has warped my expectations of her, because I can make Cirno work, despite her having less impressive speed overall. I definitely need to figure out how she works.

Yuyuko: she sounds like a character I should be adding if only to serve as an MND tank. I still think her speed is godawful, but maybe I should be adding her to bossfights regardless.

Alice and Mokou: their stats seem really interesting and malleable. I really have to figure out what their roles are going to be, thankfully it seems like I have a lot of freedom to shape their roles.

Komachi: I can't believe her ATK is that high. I think I might have been underutilizing her as an attacker this whole time. Even if she's no Suwako, I think I can treat her as a SPI nuke for battles where Yuyuko might not work.

Rinnosuke: Rinnosuke’s stats were impressive in all categories... why the heck have I not been using him?

Rumia: wait, no, she still looks really unimpressive.

Anyway, I’m gonna start finally adding those bonus points tomorrow. I feel like I might need to make a backup save, in case things turn out bad.