#the first one i used an app from the phone but im never doing Ren there again i didn't like the change in colors from devices

[oneroomjestershow]

i did these bc i got inspired from some tags i got some months ago ehehe

im pretty sure the quality is going to die but when i flipped the canvas is like they're dancing go white boy go

[deityoftherain]

(not) just a costume - Sapphic/Yuri Jizzie

Rating: Teen

Relationship: F/F

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Status: Completed Oneshot

Word Count: 3,549

Summary: Joel planned to dress up as Heather Duke for Halloween with his fellow Bad Boys, so he committed and bought everything he needed for it, including the wig. He had expected it to just be a silly costume, but, when he tried the wig on, things sort of just start to... click. She started off confused and in denial, but, slowly but surely, she started to realize that it maybe it was never "just a costume".

Full fanfic underneath the cut! Please reblog, leave kudos on the AO3 fic slash notes/likes here on Tumblr, comment either place, and etc if you enjoy the story :D

It was just something stupid for Halloween. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything! Not anything like this. It was just a stupid wig and a stupid plaid skirt. It was just a costume! That was it!

But it wasn’t “just a costume”...

Not to him.

Joel stared at himself in the mirror, having just put on the long, brown wig he had bought to complete the outfit for his Heather Duke costume. It had come in the mail today, and he expected to put it on and laugh at how rubbish he looked like with it on, but that didn’t happen.

He… enjoyed it?

Now Joel would be the first to claim that he was sexy, hot, and extremely handsome, but his ego wasn’t that big. He certainly had one, and he was rather competitive, hot-headed, and aggressive at times, but that was partly a front. Joel was generally confident in himself, sure, but he wasn’t that vain. It wasn’t like him to stare at himself in the mirror, seemingly entranced with himself, but here he was, doing just that.

Staring.

Staring at himself in a beautiful, long wig and a short, black plaid skirt he had borrowed off of Lizzie.

What the hell am I doing?

Joel was unsure of how long he stared at himself and he didn’t really want to find out, because that would mean he had to confront himself on the reason he was staring. Luckily, the trance was broken as his phone dinged, alerting him of notifications. He had assumed it was something sort of unnecessary like a mobile game notification begging for him to come back to their app (he should turn those off), and he was only half wrong.

His phone lit up as it detected his face, displaying the mobile game wanting his attention, but also the icon used for his phone’s messaging app. He swiped away the mobile game notification  before tapping the screen to open his messages. In hindsight, Joel wasn’t that surprised that it was his fellow Bad Boys who were blowing up his phone. He tended to just hang out in person with most people over texting them, so he only received consistent messages from Jimmy, Grian, and Lizzie. Every few months, he and Scar would text for hours before promptly forgetting about each other's existence for a while, and then repeating the process.

Jimmy: wait which heather am i again

Grian: tim

Grian: really?

Jimmy: theyre all named “heatehr!!”

Jimmy: how am i supposed to keep them all straight

Grian: youre mcnamara

Grian: im chandler

Grian: joels duke

Joel rolled his eyes at the messages. They’ve only told Jimmy the characters’ last names a million times. He scoffed, muttering under his breath affectionately, “Dumbass.”

The Bad Boys, as they called themselves, had gone with this theme for Halloween mostly for the bit. Scott, Martyn, and Ren had talked about going as Mean Girls, which was some musical or movie or whatever that they all liked, for some weird throuple costume. From what he knew, Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, and Karen Smith (don’t ask why he knew their first and last names) didn’t typically scream “We’re all dating, by the way!”, but what did he care? To be honest here, it’ll be fucking hilarious to see people’s reactions when Reginia George starts flirting with Karen and making out with Gretchen. 

Either way, what those three did for their costumes didn't matter. What actually mattered was that someone (he couldn’t recall who) pointed out that The Bad Boys’ signature colors lined up with the main three from Heathers, and they, for some reason, committed to it.

Joel had to admit, he liked the idea. It seemed fun and he’s always adored matching costumes more than he would usually admit. Plus, Joel was confident enough in himself to put on a girl’s costume for a few hours. It wasn’t like he was some insecure child who couldn’t fathom breaking gender roles.

He just hadn’t expected it to feel this… good?

Joel shook the thought away, the false hair of the wig getting in his face. He tucked some of it behind his ear, but didn’t otherwise bother with it. The thought of just, ya know, taking the wig off never crossed his mind.

Joel: jim you’re the yellow one

Jimmy: ok thx babe

Grian: ???

Joel: np babe :)

Joel clicked off his phone and slid it into the pocket of the skirt because, yes, the skirt had pockets! He was actually extremely pleased that it did, having known that womens’ clothing was usually lacking in that department. He had heard Lizzie complain about it enough to have gone on several rants himself about how blummin’ idiotic it all was. Honestly, he probably cared about it more than he should.

“Joel!” Lizzie called loudly from another room, voice echoing through the halls. “Get over here! I slaved over this bloody difficult meal of boxed mac and cheese for ten thousand minutes, and you’re making me eat it all by myself!” He couldn’t help but chuckle at his wife’s dramatics, but he wasn’t foolish enough to keep her waiting. He changed out of the skirt– he forgot to take his phone out and would have left it there if he didn’t hear its weight hit against the floor when he tossed the garment– and threw on the pants he had on previously before exiting out of their shared room. He headed down the hallway towards the kitchen, not that it took long. They lived in a one bedroom apartment in a city and Joel could make long strides because he was quite tall, despite what his friends joked about.

…Fine, he was more average height, but he was still taller than Lizzie! And Grian! Not Jimmy, but two out of three wasn’t bad! That had to count for something!

Lizzie eyed him curiously as he entered, head tilted to the side as it rested on her hands. She idly kicked her feet under the dining table, already set for two to eat. Each spot had a bowl of mac and cheese, a fork, and a glass of water. Within the mac and cheese were little slices of microwavable sausage links that Lizzie frequently opted to stir in, claiming it upgraded mac and cheese to a high-class meal. Joel wasn’t about to disagree, quite enjoying the meal even though it was considered undesirable by some.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Joel asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he pulled the chair out and sat down.

“No reason,” Lizzie claimed, picking up her fork and stabbing some noodles onto it. She gathered more noddles than she should onto the prongs and shoved it in her mouth. Joel raised an eyebrow, non verbally communicating “Really?” and Lizzie just pointed to her stuffed mouth like it was an acceptable excuse.

Joel decided to drop the topic and focus on his dinner. He and Lizzie shifted the topic of conversation into chatter about what they had accomplished that day. At least, they did once Lizzie managed to get down the insane amount of noodles she had insisted on shoving (for some reason) into her mouth. They were almost finished when Lizzie inquired, “Have you ever thought about growing out your hair?”

“I mean, sometimes?” Joel blinked at her, face contorting with confusion. What brought that question on? “I’ve never thought too much of it, to be honest. Mum always kept my hair short, so that’s just what I’ve kept up. I added the green dye for fun, but that’s the most extreme change I’ve done with it. I suppose I’ve never been too into what my hair is up to. Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Lizzie clicked her tongue as her eyes wandered his body from the top of his head down to about his chest area, “you’ve been wearing a wig this whole time and you haven’t said a word about it.” “I am?” Now that she mentioned it, it was astonishing how he hadn’t picked it up before. Afterall, the wig reached halfway down his back while his natural hair was much, much shorter. Joel placed a hand against his head before combing his fingers through the false locks. “I must not have noticed. It’s for my Heather Duke costume I’m doing with Jim and Grian.”

“Huh.” Lizzie smiled at him knowingly, which was strange because Joel couldn’t comprehend why or how his actions sparked recognition in her. “Well, I think you look nice in it. If you want to wear it more often, you should.” A sense of pride overcame him at Lizzie’s compliment, though he wasn’t completely sure why. It wasn’t like the wig was actually his hair, nor was it like Lizzie didn’t compliment him sufficiently enough on a regular basis. “To get used to it for the costume?”

“Sure, it can be for that.” Lizzie shrugged as if the reason (excuse?) he gave didn’t really matter. She twiddled with the fork between her fingers. “Say, Joel, I had planned to go out and have a girls’ day out with Cleo tomorrow, but they had to cancel because their autoimmune issues are acting up really bad. We changed plans to go out after she was discharged from the hospital, and that’s still the plan, but I hadn’t canceled our appointments to get our nails done yet. Do you want to go with me if I decide to keep our time slot? Since we’re out there, we can make a whole day of it! I know that I’m running low on eyeshadow and my favorite makeup shop is in that plaza, and there is that game store you get all big eyed at.”

Joel glanced down at his hands, large and scarred on the knuckles from when he had gotten into far too many fights as a kid. That was from before he learned to control his temper and frustrations, letting it get the best of him. He liked to think he had more emotional control and intelligence nowadays.

His hands weren’t dainty little things, but that didn’t matter. Some gloss on the nails paired with the shimmering of his wedding band would look rather lovely, even on hands like his. Perhaps he and Lizzie could match, or maybe he’ll just go with green. He has always liked that color.

“Alright,” Joel agreed, raising his gaze up to meet Lizzie’s. “What time are we leaving?”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷’

Joel didn’t dress all too differently as he usually did. He put on some black jeans with rips at the knees, a dark green muscle shirt, and his wallet attached to a chain hooked on his pants. It added to the look and prevented pick-pockets from stealing from him easily. What was abnormal was that Joel had taken Lizzie up on wearing the wig out.

Taking it off before bed last night had been… he didn’t want to say wrong, but he wasn’t sure what other word to use. Strange might've been the best adjective, but he didn’t understand why it was strange. He had only had short hair his whole life, after all! And it wasn’t like the short hair bothered him! He just found himself preferring it longer? Ugh, it made no sense.

Nerves started to worm their way into his mind about wearing a wig out of the apartment. He wasn’t worried about it not looking good because he looked insanely sexy, wig or not, thank you, but because… well, he wasn’t actually sure. Why was he afraid? It was just some fake hair!

Joel fixed his posture, puffing out his chest and narrowing his eyes into slits. There was no reason to be nervous! That sort of emotion was below him. He was Joel, for fuck’s sake! If he wanted to wear a wig to go out with his wife and do stereotypical girly stuff, he would! Who cared?

“Who knew my husband could have better hair than me?” Lizzie teased, poking his shoulder blade. “If you look this great with a wig, imagine growing out your natural hair.”

“You overestimated my haircare skills,” Joel chose not to acknowledge the compliment as he turned around to face her, “and how absolutely stunning you are.”

And stunning she was! Joel may be biased, but Lizzie was always stunning, even if she had bedhead or was snot-nosed sick. No one was quite like his wife, and he had her all to himself.

Lizzie had her dyed bubblegum pink hair half twisted into space buns and half down. She wore a halter top that covered her front, but left her back exposed. She had bought several different designs after her back tattoo finished healing so she could show it off. To be fair, the tattoo was gorgeous and well-done, designed to look like she had fairy wings.

Joel whistled lowly, pulling her toward him until they made contact. She rocked forward onto her tiptoes, laying her arms over his shoulders, eyes sparkling mischievously as she playfully accused, “Flatterer.” “Am I a flatterer if it’s true?” Joel inquired rhetorically, allowing her to pull him down by his neck. Their lips met, exchanging a few easy kisses. Her lipstick mildly dyed his lips, but he hadn’t noticed until after they broke and Lizzie giggled. “What is it?” “Some of my lipstick didn’t transfer where it was supposed to.” Lizzie licked her finger and used it to wipe away the lipstick from the area around his lips. She rubbed her lips together and then popped them before instructing him to do the same.

“Did you just trick me into applying lipstick?” Joel asked, more amused than annoying. This wasn’t the first time she had done such a thing, but Joel found it endearing. It was like her way of telling others that he was taken, same when Lizzie gave him her jewelry or slipped her arm around his. Lizzie didn’t always show it in the most conventional ways, but she could be just as aggressively protective and possessive as he could be.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” Lizzie flashed him a smile, feigning innocence. “Why? Do you not like it? You know, this way we match. And it’s more like gloss, than lipstick. It’s more shiny!”

Joel pulled out his phone for the camera function, using it as an artificial reflective surface. The shade of gloss complimented both him and Lizzie fairly well, he had to commend her for her expert choice. He smiled, pleased at what he saw, enough to snap a picture of himself. It was the same Joel he’s always known himself to be, but the gloss and wig were welcomed additions.

Lizzie stayed quiet, watching him observe himself. She would often tease him for being narcissistic and obsessed with himself, all lightheaded and jokingly, but she didn’t now. Instead, she just waited, allowing him time to process. Joel wasn’t sure how long she had planned to stand in silence, but Joel had certainly pushed the boundaries. Eventually, Lizzie took her hand in his and gently tugged. “Come on, we’re going to miss our appointment.” Appointment? What appointment? Joel was temporarily confused before connecting the dots. Right, he was going to get his nails done with his wife. That was the whole reason they were going out instead of staying at home, lazing around in their pajamas and watching random films. Joel allowed Lizzie to lead him out of their apartment, already daydreaming about glamming up his nails.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷’

Joel wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it wasn’t this.

Lizzie had guided Joel through the nail process, helping him pick out the nail polish and simple little designs they could do for a slight upcharge. Joel ultimately went with plain green nails and Lizzie decided to match, but she requested little white hearts overtop hers.

The nail techs had been nothing but accommodating, though something bizarre kept happening. Not bad bizarre, just… bizarre.

They kept referring to him as a girl.

It was understandable, he supposed. Maybe they weren’t used to men with long hair? And it’s not like it bothered him! Besides, he was wearing lipstick and a wig, and was getting his nails done. Again, their assumptions didn’t offend him– he was aware he was presenting femininely– but what was strange was that he never actually corrected them. He just… allowed it. More than that, he liked it?

Joel wasn’t sure if he was ready to confront that idea yet.

It would have been one thing if it happened only at the nail salon, but it continued throughout the day. Each store they went in, he was addressed as “ma’am” and referred to with she/her pronouns. Lizzie noticed, he knew, because she kept glancing at his direction after each time it occurred. Still, she didn’t say anything to correct the employees, and neither did he, and that was that.

Joel was just going to leave it alone and not acknowledge it, letting the memory rotate in his brain and probably visit him in his dreams, but Lizzie had different plans.

“Do you want to be a girl?” Lizzie blurted out once they arrived home, speaking as if it had physically pained her to keep the words contained. Joel had barely taken off his shoes and hung up the car keys when he was met with that question.

The answer should immediately be “No, of course not!” because that’s all he’s ever known. He should deny it, saying it was just for practice for Halloween! Because that is all it was, right? Joel knew that was wrong in her heart, when she actually accepted that there was something right about what had happened today. Part of her had had a hunch– of course, this feeling wasn’t exactly new– but, for some reason, she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it properly until now. Maybe it just took someone genuinely asking for her walls to break down.

“Oh, honey.” Lizzie’s features softened as she reached out to wipe away tears Joel hadn’t realized started to travel down her cheeks. “You know it’s okay if you are, right? I still love you either way. Boy or girl, I am still madly in love with you, as you are with me. We’re still Lizzie and Joel, ultimate power couple! You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Joel cracked a weak smile at the humor she paired with her comforts. She rubbed her palm against her eyes to try and clear her vision while Lizzie took her other hand to lead her to the couch. They sat down and Lizzie pulled Joel into a hug, rubbing circles against her back and murmuring soothing words of encouragement and affection into her ear.

“Do you mean it?” Joel whispered, voice cracking in a way she hated. She despised being seen as weak, but if anyone was going to see her this vulnerable, she was glad it was Lizzie. Maybe… maybe this wasn’t just a costume. Maybe it was something real.

“Mean what? That I love you no matter what?” Lizzie frowned, tucking Joel’s hair behind her ear to get it out of her face. “Of course I do. I love you, hun, not your gender. If being a girl makes you happy, then I will proudly introduce you as my wife. Wouldn’t you do the same if I felt more myself as a boy?” Joel considered Lizzie’s words for a moment before nodding. Girl or boy, she loved Lizzie, her wife, her reason for getting out of bed each morning. If her wife were her husband, she would be okay with that, and Lizzie was expressing that she felt the same. “Well, aren’t I a blummin’ idiot?”

“Maybe just a little bit,” Lizzie teased with her typical mischievous gleam returning, just the way Joel liked it. Unable to think of the proper words, Joel closed the gap between them once more, initiating lazy kisses. 

They two managed to position themselves as they kissed so that Joel was leaning against Lizzie, practically against her chest. Wig discarded, Lizzie scratched her fingers in Joel’s natural hair as Joel listened to the sound of Lizzie’s heartbeat.

“Do you want to try out a different name or do you want to keep Joel?” Lizzie murmured barely above a whisper as if she was afraid of bursting the peaceful bubble around them.

Joel didn’t answer it at first, considering the idea of choosing another name. Unlike other things she’s wondered about, the answer came easily. “No. I like Joel. I would like to keep it.”

“Then you can.” Lizzie peppered a few kisses against her hairline. “I can’t wait to brag about being able to spend all day with my cute, little wife.”

“I’m not little!” Joel protested, wrinkling her nose in disgust. Still, she didn’t remove herself from Lizzie’s hold.

“I know some people who say otherwise.” Lizzie giggled at Joel’s grumbles, but they both dropped it in favor of simply existing in each other’s presence. It had been a long day out, after all, and they were sort of sleepy… mm, it wouldn’t hurt to take a little cat nap on the couch for the rest of the afternoon, cuddled together as wife and wife.

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[ilguna]

hi- I’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask, but I wanted to know how to start a fanfic writing tumblr- I mean, I’m just not sure how to start since I’ve never posted anything on my account- I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience-

Don’t worry about it. I’m a little offended that you would think you’re coming to the wrong place 😂.

Imma break it down for you.

BTW this post is long bc I wanted to cover all bases

—

First of all, if you’re on tumblr mobile, then that’s fantastic and we’ll start with that first. If you’re on desktop, I would like to suggest getting it on your phone because it’s more accessible and easier to manage than doing it on the computer. The only time I go to the computer is when I’m going to post fics, but we’ll get there.

I know you said you’re wondering how to start posting fics but I gotta give you some advice before that. Because there are just some things I cannot stand when it comes to some fanfic blogs, alright?

Be easy on your color scheme. I wouldn’t put any bright colors because it could hurt someone’s eyes, and sometimes it looks really bad. Going along with that, you should be careful what your second color is on your blog (let’s say that your base color was a maroon, and then you’d choose a color similar to that/darker than that. It’ll be hard to read the things in your bio, and it’s frustrating)

This is obvious, but make sure you have a profile and header picture, it’s more appealing rather than tumblrs default.

Turn ON asks and then proceed to do it for anonymous questions, because that’s the only way you get requests. Some people do it off anon but that’s not as common.

You can do this on desktop and a safari browser. It’s not possible to do on mobile just yet. Open up safari > log in > little person icon in the top right > edit appearance. Scroll until you see “let people as questions” turn that on. Turn on anon, and edit the box to whatever you want. Keep it short

Turn off “share posts you like” and the following one below it. It’s a risky game to play when it comes to what you’re looking at and liking.

No submission posts, normally people don’t submit things anyway. Turn OFF “on blog advertising” and then that’s it. It automatically saves so you can just leave to the next screen imma bout to tell you about

IF you go to my blog on desktop, you’ll see that there’s a theme. My font is different, I have a different set up than most blogs, etc.

If you wanna mess around with that, scroll to the top of page (you should still be on the same page from the anon instructions) and tap “edit theme”

It might take a second to load, but you’ll get there.

THIS SCREEN IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Besides the fact that it lets you edit your theme, this is how you put in a Masterlist, and all other links you might want in your bio.

You said you haven’t written anything yet, so there isn’t a need for a Masterlist just yet. But when you DO start posting, please come back to me and I’ll let you know how to put one in your bio, okay? Nice and shiny for your future followers.

If you wanna change your theme go to browse themes, change it from “all themes” to “free themes”. If you like mine, it’s called “Accesible”. If you just want the font, get out of the theme screen and scroll the screen on the left. Turn ON “open dyslexic

Remember, you can do all of this on desktop too, it doesn’t have to be on safari

—

Now onto posting, I have some opinions that might offend my mutuals (oopsie)

I can’t tell the difference, but PERSONALLY, I think posting fics on tumblr from my phone is gross. But that’s also because I’m writing 1000+ words normally and it gets difficult to post

If you want to post fics with more than 100 paragraphs, then you have to go to desktop or maybe safari tumblr (I don’t post from safari tumblr so idk if it works) because tumblr says NO paragraphs after 100 on mobile. There is no restriction on computer

I write in Google Docs, because it’s neater and I’ve discovered some hate for Word after deleting some of the shit I wrote over and over. Plus it’s an app, and you can open it up on computer. Easy to use.

If you use Notes on your phone, or type directly onto a tumblr post, then that’s fine but you don’t know your word count and it’s a little difficult to navigate.

When it comes to formatting, I used to have it be really long. But I’ve narrowed it down to 3, sometimes 4 things.

Summary: this is where I put the request so the anon/person knows that it’s their request. (I copy n paste the entire request in the summary part, I don’t answer asks (requests) anymore because it’s easier to answer them after I posted).

Warnings: my permanent is swearing, and then I add on (what type) violence, murder, suic*de, gore, etc DEPENDING ON THE REQUEST

Word count: and I do this because I write long imagines sometimes and some people don’t want to sit through 5k words of boring shit

And the optional—Note: I put this if I thank someone for their patience on the request, if I say happy holidays or some shit like that. I don’t have notes on every post anymore because they just turn out being the same every time

Apart from that, give it a title (make it unique but not too long!) who it’s for and then copy and paste the fic in

I’m using my own posts as an example right here, okay. But I have the summary and all of that bolder because it’s easier to see, and I want it to be different from the actual post. Most fanfic writers do this.

I also put 2 —‘s between the authors note at the top and the fic to also make a difference there

Don’t have the entire fic italicized, it takes away the special part of italicizing a word

Finally, it’s tagging.

I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT tag things that have nothing to do with the post. It’s my biggest pet peeve and it’s because I can’t comprehend why people tag (for example) Katrina Stuart when it’s a fic OR A RANDOM POST about someone else

Instead, let’s keep it simple.

🌸 STOP 🌸

I forgot to mention this. But choose your username wisely. You can change it later on, but it’s a goddamn pain in the ass when you have 50+ fanfics you wrote and your Masterlist is nice and clean only to realize that you have to RELINK every post individually

Listen, I changed my username on my old blog, and it took me 8 hours ROUGHLY to relink and fix every individual Masterlist. I had to create new masterlists, with so many tabs open to fix it

Instead, change it before you start fics

If you wanna be a colby brock blog, I have a canon url (which means that it’s so fucking GOOD and I’m angry that i realized it was open only a month ago rather than when I created this account) and it’s colbysbrocks (it’s a plural canon url). And I have colbysecrets too. If you don’t like either of those, I have a couple of other ideas that I wrote down if you want them

🌸 okay continue 🌸

This is how you should tag:

(I’ll give an example after this)

Your username first, the person it’s about, the fandom (if it’s not Colby brock, then something like marvel, etc). Then the persons name, imagine, fanfic, x reader, and oneshot. Then if it was requested

EXAMPLE ONE:

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Colby brock imagine, Colby brock fanfic, Colby brock x reader, Colby brock oneshot, requested

Simple, right? You can even use this method for Wattpad too.

EXAMPLE TWO:

(This is Star Wars, im using my own username again)

Kylorenlovesyou, Kylo ren, Ben solo, kylo ren imagine, kylo ren fanfic, kylo ren x reader, kylo ren oneshot, Ben solo imagine, Ben solo fanfic, Ben solo x reader, Ben solo oneshot, Star Wars

Notice that I tagged both of his names. I do this because it draws more people in, and more people will be attracted to it (however, in the Star Wars fandom there’s a difference between Ben Solo and Kylo-Ren, so you would have to specify in the title Ex. Resistance (Ben Solo) or Struggle (Kylo-Ren). It would depend on which persona you’re using

This works for a couple of fandoms, like twilight and shit like that

EXAMPLE THREE:

(Final one, I just wanted to cover this base just in case)

If it’s a request for more than one person. Let’s say Colby Brock and Sam Golbach (like a Polyamorous relationship, if it’s just about a bunch of people, tag the people in it and don’t put the imagine, fanfic, x reader, oneshot after any of them, it doesn’t apply)

If it’s a poly relationship (or maybe more) then do everything you normally do for one person, and then just add on the second;

Azurebrock, Colby brock, Sam Golbach, Colby brock imagine, Sam Golbach imagine, etc

If you’re on desktop, I would suggest putting in a Read More (this goes BEFORE your fic but after the authors note, below the 2 —‘s). The way you do that is press enter, and hover over the new break in the fic.

Off to the right you’ll see a . . . Click that and then you have the read more. I would only suggest using this if there’s more than 500 words, so that if the fic is super long, it doesn’t take up the entire dash for the follower (it takes forever to scroll and it’s annoying

If you’re on mobile, it isn’t possible. Just post and you can go back and edit later if you have a computer