#the first ​60 is to be blamed on the sirens cause fuck them

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

Did I get so overwhelmed the last 3 months I couldn’t play any video games, read or listen to podcasts properly and blocked out everything?

Yes

Did I log onto Hades and immediately crush Eris?

Damn right

Did I right after best Chronos for the FIRST FUCKING TIME?!

HELL YEAH

AND GUESS WHAT BITCH I GOT IS ASS 2 TIMES IN A ROW

Bow down before me because the idiot finally figured it out. I took a sabbatical and came back for a victory lap!

[cookingwithroxy]

It's a valid question, and maybe some valid points, but I find it odd that so many of the ideas you presented were vague bodies. The CEO of Amazon? How would he know that a specific facility was at risk of a tornado at 8pm to call them and shut everything down? OSHA? The Department of Labor sets guidelines, how are they personally responsible? The person who decided on Automation? Why would he have any blame laid on his/her feet, when automation probably meant that fewer people were even there to be at risk in the first place?

And why would I blame the team leads, when the building has it's own management? Remember I work at UPS, and while again I benefit from a better run shop with unions and everything, I still very much understand that it's not just the supervisors there during a shift, without any TRUE authority working in places.

The people who are to blame are those who, specifically, told employees to ignore the tornado warning and to come in. That's it. And I can't even blame people for deciding to go in during a tornado warning, because all the tornado warning IS?

Is the warning that the weather is right to cause tornadoes. A tornado WATCH is when one's been spotted.

Honestly, as the days have gone on, the more I find that things were never what Tumblr told us. I looked this up when checking details yesterday, OSHA is going to do a review of said Amazon facility to see if there was a violation, but in the entire building with 60+ people there?

Only six people died. They were the ones who went to a shelter area in the southerly side of the building, where there was a secondary shelter, and that was the SPECIFIC portion of the building that was hit by the tornado.

And as anyone who's seen a tornado's effects before can tell you, if you're where a tornado hits, you're fucked. Even shelters are only so good, they're there to minimize harm, not make you safe.

And how does THAT match up against the death tolls people waved at us early on?

But yeah. The only people specifically to blame are those who said 'ignore your health and safety, come in anyway'. But people don't want to go 'Janet from HR is to blame for the risks people faced to meet her demands' they want to go 'It's all Amazon's fault because she totally would never have been the kind of person who'd do that if Amazon wasn't around!'

Well, for anyone who's worked retail can tell you, bad people are everywhere, and you don't have to brainwash normal people into being assholes, you just have to hire assholes. They're not that hard to find.

And in the end, I'm left with only one thing to really think about.

Why is it that we're blaming Amazon in this situation, when the place that actually had managers order people to come in despite the weather was the candle factory in Kentucky?

Jesus fuck sorry I was just doing a bit more of aforementioned reading up and it looks like the narrative we've all heard was entirely wrong, transposing the two locations.

There was a horrible tragedy a few weeks ago, where an amazon facility was hit by a tornado and so many people died. And I've been reading all these responses and something was bugging me about all of them.

Only just this morning did it finally hit me what was wrong. Everyone was blaming Amazon, and yelling about Amazon, and yet not a single open of them seemed to put any blame on the VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE Who decided that those workers had to stay in the facility and not move to safer locations.

Like, Amazon's not some eldritch being that controls the wills of men, it's a company. Amazon didn't decide to have people die for a potential profit, VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE decided that people should put their lives at risk for potential profit.

And yet it's been decided that rather than discover WHO was to blame, and to hold them accountable, the blame is just given, collectively, to Amazon as a concept, which in turn means nobody cares about the people who decided, personally, that other people's lives should be put at risk.

And this is very much not an uncommon thing. Where individuals are not blamed, GROUPS are, but also where individuals are absolved of very specific, PERSONAL guilt because the groups they 'represent' are treated as flawless and incapable of sin.

[zire-7]

A Totally Biased Review of Under Your Spell

I've heard a lot of grumblings about how 'straight-forward' and 'un-relateable' Under Your Spell (UYS for short) is. These grumblers would be very right about it...except that y'all need to dust off your imaginations, cause you're way off. Granted, it is seemingly easy to interpret each of the songs' meanings and it doesn't transport you to a magical fairy tale land; unlike the rest of TBM's discography.  Those are two very excellent points in your favor, grumblers. However, its not a place that we're exploring but, a person's emotions. Perhaps even a person who lives in those worlds we've visited. Or those two murder kids from Happy Birthday got hitched and now they're getting divorced.

It could be about a bad break up or a psycho stalker that kidnaps their victims makes the victim fall in love with them (Stockholm syndrome) and then murders them. A very dark and bloody version of Beauty and the Beast. Another interpretation could be, someone who escaped from the psycho stalker, has Stockholm syndrome, and is currently undergoing therapy to overcome it. Another impression I got from UYS is an exploration into First Love and the mark it leaves on you. Whether one half of the whole died, they broke-up, or stayed together through thick and thin. The love doesn't have to be romantic either, it could be family, friends, and even strangers.  That's just the feel of UYS as whole, each song can have a thousand different interpretations.  

Without further ado, the songs...

One

There is a xylophone and it is awesome. The use of it to open the song is wholly unexpected, but it works to give the song a very 'Caribbean island' vibe. I love how well the xylophone blends with the other instruments. Chibi's vocals are air-y and light but melancholy and heavy at the same time.  The lyrics weave a tale of loneliness and heartbreak, a grieving widow,  a betrayal of trust, isolation and captivity, the futility of finding a meaningful relationship that won't end in tears or bloodshed.

Favorite Lyrics: Caught up in the waves, in death of a day. Sing like sirens in shadows. As blue turns to gray, in youth and decay, turning oceans to shallows.

Rating: 10 Broken Hearts. I live for that xylophone opening and the delivery of the lyrics.

Under Your Spell

This song is breath taking in its subtlety. The synths are soothing and very peaceful at the onset. Everything is soft, soothing, and peaceful. From the vocals to the drums, guitars, and bass. The first verse is more intense which sets the tone for the rest of the song. There is emphasis on the vocals, never a bad thing, that casts a spell(I couldn't resist, sue me) over the listener(To be fair we're all under TBM's spell). If its at all possible, and yes it is, this song is even more melancholy than One. The imagery of the lyrics is very open to interpretation(I'll list the one that stood out in my mind).

Paints a picture of domestic abuse or Stockholm Syndrome with alarming clarity (I haven't been in either of these situations. This song is, hopefully, the closest that I'll ever get.).

Favorite Lyrics: You're the promise that degraded every hope and dream. You're the whisper at the end of every hopeless scream. After all the years of turning love to empty rage, all you wanted was for me to help you turn the page.

Rating: 20 Broken Hearts. Despite it's melancholy and haunting imagery of love gone horribly wrong, its a damn fine song.

All of Nothing

A moment of silence than 'ka-pow' into a song about one-sided romance, arguably, it has the best synths of the album(definitely my favorite sounds). Hell all the instruments send chills up and down my spine. However, none of that compares to the cutting vocals. None of it. Chibi sings this with the express purpose of making you feel like you're the one in the song, morning the loss of this romance from hell. Betrayal, heartbreak, longing, anger, and hatred its all visceral. The chorus though...leaves me dead AF.

There are three impressions that's get stuck in my head any time I've listened to this. The first one, one person falls for their soulmate, becomes involved with said soulmate, and then soulmate turns out to be an asshat that's just using them.

The second one isn't going to be what you're expecting and is also pretty damn accurate(In my humble opinion). It perfectly describes the emotional turmoil that lesbians experience with straight girl crushes (Bi woman with straight girl crush experience). Though in the song's lyrics and imagery, the emotions are more accurate for the 'straight girl is curious and is willing to experiment with their best friend' and 'straight girl is straight and proceeds to verbally destroy their best friend'.  

(For any hetero  peeps reading, yes people do toy with LGBT+ folks like this and it hurts like a bitch. At least have the decency to still be a friend after emotionally fucking us up.)

The third one, a creepy psycho stalker falls in love with the person they are stalking and the victim does something to upset the stalker, stalker proceeds to violently murder them for the perceived slight.

Favorite Lyrics: I was looking for an ending when I fell into you, you were like a dream; cause you never came true. You said it all meant nothing to you. Now you turn around and tear me just for something to do. You like to make it bleed, but you never cut through. You say it all means nothing to you

Rating: All the broken hearts. ALL OF THEM. Repeat for days, listen to it until my ears bleed, and if ever I'm stranded on an island with a magical iPod that can only have one song on it; this be the song.

Without You

These vocals are killing me, in the absolutely best way possible. They are angelic, light, enchanting, and cutting. Ugh...the whole song is longing for the loss of your other half. The accompanying instruments are ever as always fantastic. Although, I loathe the first half of the instrumental break down after the some very nice 'ahs', so much. Its so 80s but not good 80s. Just the first half, the second half is amazing.  The spirit of this song is heart wrenching.

Two high school sweethearts are in a car crash and one of them dies. Proceeds to haunt the other, waiting to be reunited.  Or one of them joins the military and is killed in action. Two young lovers are in a life threatening situation: stranded in the mountains, trapped in a collapsed building, or separated in a hostage situation. One of them is killed trying to save the other.

Favorite Lyrics: Bitter tears flow through eternity, lovers play out another tragedy. And you tell me, hold on. Hold on, I hear you say, hold on. Hold on, I'll come back for you. I will wait for you, tomorrow never comes, it can't be true. Life is not the same now, without you

Rating: 40 Broken Hearts. Loss, longing, and love.

Counterpane

Drums, bass, and vocals, oh my(the guitars are excellent too)! This triangle of pure kick to the face opens one of the two songs that are more synth rock than synth pop. Never fear the synths are there, just more jamming out than dance the night away. It will make you want to get up and go, and do some head banging too. I love the synths and bass for the bridge they accentuate the vocals so well(I could go on and on for days about it.). I know I've been waxing poetic about the vocals but,  they are so damn amazing. They are strong and, as I've said, a kick to the face.  The. Bridge. Is. So. Mother. Fucking. Exceptional.

The love starts off strong in the relationship but one of them no longer loves the other. However the miserable party stays in the relationship. Getting more and more miserable as time passes until they cut and run(Dear John...).

Favorite Lyrics:  We're at the edge of the world again. Time will never heal the distance. Been here before when we were innocent. Building this modern prison for so long.  We’re at the edge of the world again. A step back is a step forward. Been here before, when we were innocent. I saw the signs, but I couldn’t find the words. Now we’re stuck in a wasteland. Everyone in the dark adores you. So much regret for things I never said. I should’ve left. I always meant to.

Rating: 50 Broken hearts. A break up song...or bad decisions made even worse because no one wants to hurt a person they once loved.

Unkind

Ugh...these vocals are perfect. I know, I know, I'm a broken record but, but they're so amazing and make me feel so much. They breathe life into the lyrics. Don't get me started on the amazing 80s vibe; Without You had its bad 80s moment, but this right here, tis good 80s(Though I am biased on what constitutes good 80s). Its vibe is more synth rock than synth pop, but nowhere near as 'kick in the face' as Counterpane. On second thought its got some 'ka-pow' and kick to it. Lyrically its very 'cat and mouse'. For some its the chase, not the romance. These people leave a trail of broken hearts and revenge fueled hate behind them.

It is a brutal glimpse into the unfairness of love and the fickle nature of it, in others. Or it could be the jaded and cynical heart, of someone whose been burned by past lovers one time too many.

Favorite Lyrics: You're never too far from my mind's eye. I search for the meaning between your words. A gentle poison to calm my soul. We dance in the halls of our twilight.

Rating: 60 Jaded Hearts of varying stages of 'I want to love you, but you're going to be a disappointment eventually and I don't want to get attached'. I live for this song's instrumental breakdowns.  

Games

The. Vocals. Are. So. Damn. Perfect. I know, I know but its true(blame TBM for how perfect and on point they are with every song on this album). There's a hint of wistfulness and whimsy to each line to combat the hopelessness and despair in the lyrics; a juxtaposition of darkness and light(Classic TBM). That harshly whispered refrain after the bridge though... I do love the synth and drum combo that we're hit with at the beginning. Now this song is definitely a 'longing for someone' or 'I've been in too many bad romances and am going to play the same games that were played on me'.

A young romantic that's been disillusioned to the euphoric life changing experience of love, one partner at a time.  Until they are cold and no longer believe in love anymore, they live to spread the misery.  Or the young romantic keeps falling in love and their lovers die over and over again.  The young romantic is strung along by someone else for no other purpose than to be played with.

A grieving widow taunted by the memories of the love they once had with their spouse.

Favorite Lyrics: Trace the lines, anesthetize. In the night another scar is left behind. I want the stars in your eyes, I'll take the stars from your eyes.

Rating: 70 Broken Hearts. Catchy AF. Though its usually only 'I want the stars in your eyes' that gets stuck in my head. Normally I don't mind when its the entire song, but one line is a huge 'No'. I use it as an excuse to blare TBM(not that I ever need an excuse to blare TBM.).

Hex

This will get your body moving. This is a song that has energy to give and it doesn't care about what you want. Your head will be nodding to those drums and you will sing along to the lyrics(even if your tone def AF, you'll sing along). From the opening refrain to the last, the vocals are spellbinding(PUNS!!!). The chorus is up in the rafters before coming down to grace us mere mortals with singer friendly octaves. The synth breakdown on the bridge is killer(Reminiscent of Play with Fire's synths mixed with a hint of the Halloween theme 'Michael Meyers psycho' remix. Oh look, more puns!). The. Drums. Are. Excellent. The whole song is  perfection(Fight Me!).

I'd like to designate this song as the theme for the relationship between Harley Quinn and the Joker.

Three words: Break Up Anthem. Though the serial killers take things to a more 'bloody' and 'copious piles of bodies' level than normal people. In all seriousness though, the emotions this song address that everyone has, will, and does feel after a bad break up or a good one, it still painful. Or someone cheated and the wounded party plots their revenge(they catch the 'stalking and violently murder' bug).

Favorite Lyrics: Binds of hex and magic, a sight to blur your open eyes. Blinding love so tragic, tonight your heart is broken. Supernatural. I'll be the one that you let behind the wall. Supernatural. I'll be the one that will watch you as you fall.

Rating: Infinite Broken hearts. Its way too epic for mere numbers. No matter who you are, this song is relevant AF.  Another Catchy tune.

No Tomorrow

Misleading AF opening with intense drums and wicked synths to a nice slow lullaby esque melody. All the verses' vocals even sound like a lullaby. Then 'ka-boom' into the chorus of murder and mayhem with harsh growl-y vocals (I love them so much). The second synth rock and or metal song. This is almost a 'circle pit' (Or ya know, a mosh pit. WTF is this 'circle pit' bullshit.) song.  I lied about the wicked synths at the beginning, they are wicked, but the ones right before the last chorus(be still my heart)...those are some wicked synths; on par with All Of Nothing's. Out of all the songs that play with dark and light, this one has it all: the intense opening, the soft lullaby melody, the harsh growl-y vocals, the soft, breathy, and angelic vocals, and the imagery of the lyrics both the harshness and the softness.

At first listen it sounds like a 'i'm going to murder you' break up song. However, it struck me as a song about a dissolving relationship or a one night stand, one is becoming empty and meaningless and the other is empty and meaningless.  Or a friendship crashing and burning, friends fight but if one is using the other....it can get ugly (I've been there).

Another impression is that these are the lies we tell ourselves to survive the roller-coaster ride of agony where about get on.

Favorite Lyrics: You pretend that you want somebody, I'll pretend that I need someone. You pretend you could love somebody, just know you're not the only one. You don't want somebody, I don't need someone. You can't love somebody, you're the only one.

Rating: 90 Unbroken hearts. Its like two songs in one. A true master piece. The lies we tell ourselves to survive heartache.

The Lowest Low

I dislike it. Its bad 80s, even worst than Without You's bad 80s, and it puts me to sleep. I DO like the lyrics and the vocals but that is all I like about it. It could also be the similarities it shares with Movie from WWS(; a song I also dislike with a passion).  This song is so not my jam. The synths are too blah. Everything is so slow, I can't listen to it often. Bleh.

I did like it a whole lot more, but by much, when I really listened to the lyrics and it reminded me of Howl's Moving Castle(its a movie and anime for those who have never heard of it). This song can sum up the whole movie's story-line, its quite magical. A whirl wind romance that ends in an abrupt way, leaving a very broken individual behind to piece themselves back together.

Favorite Lyrics: When you collapse all the colours changes, like a hexagon storm. Look for my reflection and can't see my face. I killed my past just to be reborn.

Rating: 10 Broken hearts. It gets skipped a lot. Sorry, not sorry. This song is not for me. But DO NOT let my 'Negative Nancy' attitude dissuade you from giving it a listen. It might be just the right song for you.  

Endless

What's the best way to follow up bad 80s? With good 80s, and that is exactly what this song is. Its uplifting and fast paced that serves to lift you free of the quagmire left in the wake of The Lowest Low(No, it does not change my feelings for the song when taking the juxtaposition of both songs into consideration.). Like Hex it has energy to burn, and if Hex didn't get you off your feet, this one will. The delivery of the vocals add depth to the song's pacing and acts like Nos, at least for the chorus. The tempo calms a little for the verses before taking off again. The tempo through out the song and instrumental breakdown, you know the one, remind me of that scene in Ghost Rider (Where the two riders are racing across the desert leaving behind a trail of flames).

This song is not about bad romances, longing, loss, despair, or break ups. Its hope and moving forward. In the first ten songs you're bogged down and shackled by the negativity, this one helps you sprout wings and soar to the highest cloud. And of course two high school sweethearts have weathered the good and bad times; they're still going strong.

Favorite Lyrics: Cast upon shores of fire, blood and water collide. Tears that drown my desire wash away in your tide. All rivers lead into a dark and endless sea. Memories bleed into a cold and dreamless sleep.

Rating: 11 Beautiful hearts. An anthem of hope that details the recovery from those blindsiding hurts.

Score:

Love and hate are the beat of the heart and we are slaves to the tempo.

The Heart of the Matter (I regret nothing!)

Here we are on the other side of what is, essentially, a break up album; TBM style. It doesn't pull punches, it isn't afraid to get into the nitty-gritty of how awful people are in the face of the two strongest emotions that humanity can feel, it uplifts as much as it drags us under, and it is an exquisite work of art(There was a pun, but I resisted).    

Yeah its straight-forward and doesn't take you to another world, but it explores the Ouroboros of Love and Hate; an infinite loop. It takes us into the emotions felt by all of humanity. The dark and twisted desires, the cruel games people play, the helpless longing we feel toward our fellow humans, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

As to the impressions I've given you, THOSE ARE PURELY MINE. They don't have to be yours and you can disagree with them(don't be a TROLL about it though). That is what is so great about this album, its straight forward enough that we COULD agree on the imagery of the lyrics or the story it tells, but its still TBM enough to have depth; to be more than a 'straight forward break up' album.  

Oh sure, you can even say, “But its not relateable or relevant to me.” Give it time, in a few years it will be relateable and relevant as fuck.  

[marvelous-heroimagines]

It Gets Better

Requested by: Anonymous (Here are the specifics)

Pairing: Reader x Peter Parker Word Count: 2K Warnings: Mentions of self harm and scars, depression, attempted suicide, fluff, swearing, break-up

A/N: I know this one is very dark, so I understand if some people can’t read it for their own reasons. I added in a super fluffy, cute ending.

You let out a sigh as your clock strikes 11pm. ‘Late again,’ you think to yourself. Your boyfriend was mysterious, and secretive, it was the thing that attracted you to Peter in the beginning. When his best friend, Ned, let it slip that Peter had been crushing on you for months. You didn’t believe it at first, you couldn’t. How could someone like Peter Parker like you? But sure enough, the two of you fell in love, and he brought light to your life.

Your mind drifts as you think back to the girl you used to be. You’d been so depressed and lifeless before Peter started loving you. Not that you still didn’t have dark days, they were more frequent than you would have liked, but you had hope now, hope that you would finally escape your own personal hell; maybe move away to college, and Peter would never leave your side.

Subconsciously, you fingers start tracing the white scars that litter your left arm and wrist. Feeling like you’re in a trace, you trace the scars for a little too long, and you can’t help but remember the relief that they gave you. Things hadn’t been great lately... Not even good, but you’d been determined not to lose the progress you’d made towards to recovery. But your boyfriend’s new distance didn’t help. Every time he was late or made an excuse to bail on you, your mind wandered to what he was doing, where he was going... Who he was seeing.

A soft knock on your second storey, bedroom window brings you back to reality. Even though he’d been doing it for months, it still surprised you when he popped up outside your window; especially because no trees were anywhere near your window. But you never questioned it, always assuming that Peter was just really good at parkour.

“What the fuck?” you hiss as you slide your window up and he effortlessly climbs in,

“Baby, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Peter says, out of breath and looking flustered,

“You were meant to come over for dinner... 4 hours ago!” you yell in a hushed voice, worried that your parents would hear,

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sounds sincere,

“You could’ve called,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest,

“My phone died,” he reasons, a pleading look on his face, “I came as soon as I could,”

“What were you doing?” you demand,

“I... I had some errands to run,” he stammers,

“Are you cheating on me?” you ask flat out, earning a shocked look from your boyfriend,

“What?! Y/N, I would never. Why would you think that?”

“You’re always late, that’s if you even show up at all. What other explanation is there?” your heart starts racing, your words making more and more sense to you,

“I’ve... I just...” Peter stammers, looking frantic as he fails to answer,

“Guess that answers it,” your eyes start to sting with oncoming tears, but you bite them back, “Leave,”

“Y/N-”

“Peter, please leave,” you cut him off. Peter stays in his place, his eyes darting all over your features, looking as though he’s desperate to change your mind. the longer he says frozen, the angrier you get, “Leave!” you yell, pushing hard on his chest.

Peter stumbles backwards, hitting the window frame. You watch as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down, before he slowly turns away and climbs back out your window.

You wait until you’re certain he’d gone before throwing yourself face down on your bed. What had you done? You were a fucking idiot. You just told the love of your life to get out, when all you wanted was to see him and be held. You just ruined the only good thing in your life.

The rest of the night is bound to be filled with crying, self-hatred, regret and not even a thought of sleep.

“God, she looks like shit,” you hear one of the mean girls whisper in the school hall. Clenching your jaw, you try your best to ignore her, even though you know she’s right,

“Well, what do you expect?” her friend says, “I heard Peter broke up with her, and she broke down, pleading for him to change his mind,”

“I believe it,” the third whispers, “I knew they’d never last. Girls like her don’t date boys like Peter Parker,”

Slamming your locker, you ignore their stares and storm off towards class. Yanking your sleeve down, you wince as the rough fabric scratches against your fresh scabs. Here you were, back to who you used to be. Dumping Peter definitely was your downfall. Without him around, you fell deep into your depression again. And having no friends at school didn’t help... Or maybe it did, this way you didn’t have to lie to more people than necessary about how you were going.

“Hey, Y/N! Wait up!” you glance over your shoulder as Peter’s best friend jogs to catch up to you, “How’s it?” he asks,

“Fine,” you mumble, subconsciously pulling at your sleeve again, “What do you want, Ned?”

“What? Like I can’t just check up on my friend when I see her in the hall?” he asks, mocking hurt,

“Every time you claimed to be doing that, you were trying to talk me into seeing Peter,” you give Ned an accusatory look.

Ned nervously chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, having been caught in his ruse, “He misses you,” your heart skips a beat,

“He said that?” you ask, sounding a little too excited,

“Well... Not exactly,” Ned mumbles, and your stomach drops with disappointment, “But he’s not himself anymore,”

“I’ll say it one more time,” you sigh out, “When he’s ready to let me in on his secrets, I’ll listen,”

“But-”

“I’ve got to get to class,” you cut Ned off before hurrying away.

2 months. 60 days of being single and miserable. And no one had any idea of what you were going through. You’d been forcing a smile at home, school and work; brushing off the the questions about why you were wearing jumpers during winter, all while your mind was constantly on the fresh scars that now plague your arms and wrists. You’d had enough. You were never going to get out of your hell, you were stuck here. This was the only way.

A strong gust of wind blows the hair out of your face, and your arms shake. You weren’t able to hold on for much longer. Just before you take the last step you’ll ever take, someone shouts at you.

“Don’t do this!” you snap your head around and see a complete stranger slowly approaching you, her arms extended towards you as she shuffles closer to the edge of the bridge.

You don’t reply, only turn away from her as tears continue to stream down your face and fall into the water below. No one could change your mind now, this was your only out.

~~ Peter’s POV / Meanwhile ~~

The wind rustles the leaves around Peter as he strolls down the street, not really paying attention to what was happening around him. For 2 months he’d been blaming himself for being such an idiot and not being able to tell you his secret. He’d tried to convince himself that he was protecting you, but seeing you at school told him that he was causing you more pain by keeping his secret from you.

Suddenly, the sound of police sirens in the distance pull him to reality. Ducking into an alleyway, he quickly changes into his Spiderman suit. Saving people was the only thing he enjoyed now, and he needed it to help take his mind off his pain.

Peter swings through the city, following the sirens. The Brooklyn bridge appears in the distance, and his heightened senses weren’t the only things that was telling him this was different. He starts moving faster, feeling a gut wrenching sensation, telling him something was deeply wrong.

The moment he sees you, it’s like the air is sucked out of his lungs. He knew you were hurting, but he didn’t know you’d gotten this bad again. He wills his limbs to work faster and harder as he swings closer to you.

He’s almost there. Then you step out. Peter can’t stop the yell that escapes him. Letting out more webbing, Peter drops down below the bridge. The air is literally knocked out of him when your falling body collides with his.

~~ Reader’s POV ~~

You stare up, and into the mask of Spiderman. Letting out a relieved sigh, you bury your face into the superhero’s chest as he swings you to safety. It wasn’t until you’d stepped off of the bridge that you realised this wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to live, to recover. If it wasn’t for Spiderman you wouldn’t have gotten that chance.

Spiderman doesn’t let go of you for a while, silently swinging you back through the city. Looking up, you realise that he’s brought you to your house. Your brow furrows as he doesn’t even ask, only taking you to your bedroom window and carrying you through it.

The moment your feet are back on solid ground, Spiderman pulls you into a tight embrace. Apart from the tight suit, something about him feels so familiar, like your muscles had once known his frame, and even loved it.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his chest, tears still falling from your eyes, “Thank you,”

“I love you,” he replies, and you frown up at him. Not only was that an odd response, but you feel like you’d heard the voice before, “I’m so sorry, I love you,”

Before you can say anything, he reaches up and pulls the mask off. Your jaw falls open as you recognise Peter.

“This is what I was keeping from you,” he says, “I thought I was protecting you by not telling you. But then I lost you, and it was the biggest mistake of my life,”

“You’re Spiderman?” you ask, still not sure what you’re seeing is real,

Peter nods, “That’s why I’m always late, or can’t make it... There’s a lot of crime in New York,” if it had been any other time, you would have laughed, “Y/N, I’m so sorry,”

“I’m sorry,” you say, “I love you,”

The rest of the night, the two of you stay cuddled up in bed. Most of the conversation is about you, and how much worse you’d gotten in just 2 months. Peter didn’t let go of you all night, gripping you tight and kissing you. You felt like you were home in his arms.

~~ 10 Years Later ~~

 Something dropping on you pulls you from sleep. You bolt upright, not fully awake and startled. A grin spreads across your face as you stare into the eyes of your little boy.

“Mummy, wake up!” he playfully yells, bouncing on you. You grab your son and start to tickle him, earning squeals.

“What’s all this?” Peter asks as he walks into the bedroom, still dressed in pjs,

“Mummy is attacking me!” your son yells between laughter as you continue to tickle, “Help me daddy!”

Peter rushes over to the bed, and jumps in next you, “Alright, Ben, let’s get her!”

Ben and Peter both turn on you, poking and tickling you in your most sensitive areas, making you squeal out in laughter and try to squirm away.

“Mercy!” you yell before you fall out of bed. Ben and Peter both stop tickling you, but the laughter continues,

“Let’s get mummy some breakfast?” Peter asks your son, who excitedly nods and jumps off the bed, running out. Peter leans over and plants a soft kiss on your lips before following Ben to the kitchen.

As you’re left watching them leave, you can’t help but hold a smile on your face. You couldn’t have wished for a better life. Married to the love of your life and raising an amazing boy. You couldn’t be more thankful that your husband had saved your life a decade ago, because you wouldn’t be here today if he hadn’t. No matter what, it always gets better. And your life was more than better, it was amazing.

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