#the final boss is fictional men btw

[cytrusmelon]

me after defeating the comphet final boss

[eetherealgoddess]

i’ve been getting some requests on wattpad so i thought i should finally write one of them <3

reader operates as both a cop and detective btw

ꨄEdge Of The Lawꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Bonten Au

❦You’re a detective who has spent years trying to take down Bonten❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR & AO3 UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Edge Of The Law

It had been years since you hopped on the case regarding the infamous criminal organization Bonten. Having put in an exceeding amount of work in tracking their illegal endeavors as well as the individuals who cause the gang activities to soar. So far the only information you have been able to obtain was that you have a few traitor cops in your vicinity, one who very well may be the chief.

Unfortunately, the only proof you’ve received was during a personal outing of your own. You sat on a stool in the dimmed bar, a low melody playing in the background from the speakers connected to the ceiling. Only a few people were scattered around the room, sitting in their own booths or a couple stools down from you, sipping on their drinks as they talked amongst themselves. Your bartender had just finished your drink, sliding it over as you immediately downed the beverage.

“Damn, tough day?” The woman chuckled, continuing to make the other customers’ drinks as she conversed with you.

“You could say that.” You motion for another as you remember the frustrating discovery of all the paperwork you had on the case completely missing, nowhere to be found. You could only determine that it was an inside man’s job, a dirty cop who knew exactly where to find the confidential information.

After downing four shots while conversing with the bartender, you walk towards the bathroom. After releasing your fluid and washing your hands, you stepped out of the bathroom, perking up when you noticed a familiar individual who just exited the male’s bathroom. Although he wore casual clothing, you could tell he was your chief, having worked under the guy for years.

You follow him from afar, dropping some cash on the bar table as you make your way outside. You stood at the corner of the building, staring ahead as you peaked around the wall into the alleyway. You crouch as you make a run for the dumpster, basically prancing on your tiptoes so he wouldn’t catch you there. You kneel on the dirty ground, peaking out to watch him.

The chief stood in front of a tall man wearing a suit. You couldn’t hear anything but slight chatter, both parties standing too far for you to hear the conversation so you took a moment to view the suspect in front of your boss. One of his hands moved to swipe through his hair, fingers entangling with short purple strands. His purple irises gaze ahead lazily as his expression remains blank. What stood out to you the most was that symbol on his neck, prominent and black.

“That symbol…” You murmured to yourself before taking your phone out of your pocket and snapping a few pictures of the two men, one a close up of the broad male.

You sat at the desk in your room, searching through your drawers and folders of different forms and pictures you had kept. You weren’t allowed to have some of the papers in your personal home, though there were key points in some of the cases you were assigned that stuck out to you, resulting in off duty research.

Grabbing a familiar folder labeled, ‘Mark of the Prey,’ a dramatic name you so boringly created for the information inside. You snatch it open, searching through until you make an abrupt halt. Pulling the page out, you placed it next to your phone that displayed a close up of the man who spoke to the chief.

“Knew it.” You huff as you compare the symbol of Bonten to the tattoo embedded on the guy’s neck. Although this discovery confirms your suspicion, you have no clue why your chief would be in cahoots with the organization other than the fact that he’s working with them. Unfortunately, you don’t have enough proof.

The following days, you had decided to figure out a way to look through your boss’s office for any clues regarding his partnership. The first thing you want to come across if nothing else is your original paperwork that you kept hidden in a specific drawer. The only person who would’ve known the correct placement was your boss. You knew you had to wait for the perfect opportunity so you patiently waited for the right moment to sneak into his office.

It was hard, but you finally found the perfect time during a lunch break to search. You had no idea when he’d be back so you quickly searched through file after file. You were careful to place everything back in place to not raise suspicion. You sigh in frustration when you’re not finding the target, standing up from your place only to make eye contact with your chief.

He stepped in slowly, shutting the door behind him as he made his way closer to his desk. Still keeping his distance you both stare at one another in silence. Considering you’ve been caught, you decide not to waste any time.

“You’re working for Bonten, aren’t you?”

The middle aged man continued to stare at you before placing his hands in his pockets.

“There was a reason I dropped you from the case, Y/n.” You recall the utter pit in your stomach the moment you were dropped from the case, having spent a lot of time and effort finding all the evidence you could.

“Where is the paperwork?” You give him a stern glare. He sighed before shaking his head.

“You never stop, do ya? You wanna die or something?” He growled, a look of irritation crossing on his face, “I spared your life by dropping you, otherwise you’d be next on their list.”

“Do you realize what you’ve just done? Do you understand the gravity of what you’re doing? Partnering with the enemy? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Your palms slam on the desk as you lean slightly forward, anger and a sense of betrayal overcoming you.

“You have no right to question my decisions! I do what I have to do to survive. You should be thanking me!” He roared, stepping forward. “They’ve had their eyes on you ever since you started that case! They know what you look like, where you live, where you come from, and more!”

An abrupt siren echoed throughout the building, indicating a warning. The same sound you were taught when there’s been an ambush. Shocked, you immediately snatch the gun from your holster, as did your chief right before you both stretched your arms out to aim the weapons toward each other.

“Saved my life to take it right?” You yell over the alarm, standing at attention.

“This isn’t how I wanted this shit to go! You just couldn’t stop shoving your nose where it didn’t belong!”

“You assigned me to the case! What else was I supposed to do other than my job? You make no sense!”

“I didn’t expect you to find some of the things you did! For what it’s worth, you were my favorite officer!”

Just as he cocked the gun, you gasp when a figure appears from behind him. The sound of a shot rang out, the bullet penetrating your boss in the head, a hole formed as blood splattered on the floor and his uniform. The chief falls to the ground, landing on his body. You move to aim at the culprit, pulling the trigger multiple times as he dodges the bullets.

The sound of glass shattered behind you as another person kicked through the window. You turn to the side to keep both people within your vision, backing up until your back is barely touching the wall. Your gun is aimed at the man with two blonde strands hanging over his face, the rest of his dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, revealing the tiger tattoo embedded into the skin of his neck. His left hand holds a gun aimed towards you, arm stretched out as a smile grows on his face.

The man who killed your boss stood next to him, his right arm held out as the barrel of the weapon was in your view. His bangs fell over the purple eyes that held a sense of familiarity, strands of hair falling into a mullet. Your eyes widened when you saw the tattoo on his neck, the same symbol you had seen on the man before who looks slightly similar to the person in front of you. He wears a bored expression.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” Kazutora dodged the bullet coming his way by moving his head to the side, the metal only grazing his cheek. A small line of blood slides down from the small scratch.

“Who put you in charge, huh?” Before you can shoot him again, another shot rings out followed by a sharp pain shooting through your thigh.

“Fuck!” You hissed before looking down to where the blood seeps through your uniform as you place your trembling hand above the wound.

“You have shit aim.” Rin says to you before aiming at your shin resulting in you shifting out of the way before the bullet can land.

Another shot rang out as Kazutora pulled the trigger, missing as you rushed behind the desk, landing on your bottom. You set the gun down before pulling off your uniform jacket and pull the fabric with your teeth, tearing the sleeve. You wrapped it around your thigh quickly before snatching the gun.

You knew this wouldn’t end well for you. All you could do was survive the best you could. Before you could turn to shoot, a foot kicked the gun out of your hand before two hands grabbed the shoulders of your shirt, yanking you up. Suddenly a fist connects with your face before your vision is engulfed with darkness.

“The surveillance has been disposed of.”

Your eyelids flutter open as you come back to consciousness. The pain on your neck is prominent from your head hanging over while you were knocked out. A soreness appears on your check as you remember the fist impacting your face, knowing a bruise will probably form. You eye your thigh with a hazy vision, the blur of the blood that seeped through the fabric wrapped around your thigh, the throbbing pain still prominent. You accidentally release a groan as you pull at the cuffs, your arms secured behind the chair’s back uncomfortably.

“Good.”

You lift your head slowly, eyeing the figures that stood at a distance from you.

“You’ve been such a pain.” You hear from the shortest man standing in the middle. His onyx orbs bore into you intensely, despite the lack of expression. His platinum hair shapes the structure of his face.

“Sanzu.”

The pink haired man lifts an arm as he aims the gun towards you, cocking the weapon before pulling the trigger. The shot rang throughout the building just as the bullet penetrated your shin on the opposite leg of the wound on your thigh.

“Shit!” You spit out, breathing slowly as you attempt to tune the pain out, failing as the agony grows by the second. Your hands are in fists as your nails leave indents on your palms.

The blue eyed man’s scars stretched as the grin on his face grew. Excitement is apparent in his expression, the sound of your ragged breathing a beautiful melody to his ears.

“You will work for me in place of your boss.”

“Fuck you.” You growl as you feel your blood fall down your leg.

“I’ve been watching you for a long time. You are my secret weapon. Your skills give you an advantage that will be to my use.” You scoff.

“I’m not doing shit!” You exclaim.

“S/n and B/n. They are your siblings right?” Mikey questioned, hands behind his back. Your eyes widened as you glared at him.

“M/n, D/n, and F/n.” He takes a few steps towards you, revealing the darkness under his eyes.

He continued to name off colleagues, friends, family members, and even the bartender you’ve become close to. You gasp when he begins to list off the addresses in which your family members reside.

“That’s enough!” You hissed.

“Show some respect in the presence of the King, Rat.” Sanzu growled before aiming his gun towards you. Mikey holds up a palm, the executive obeying his command.

“You will do as I say.” He said before turning around and heading to the exit, all of the men following behind. You’re left in darkness once the door to the warehouse shuts.

Days pass while you rot in the warehouse, blood already dried from the wounds that may or may not get infected. The pain, although prominent, has slightly numbed. Your whole body is sore. You had thought everything through, deciding that you have no choice in the matter but to go against your morals. You had to protect your family. You only just now understand why your chief did what he did.

After your placement in Bonten was secured, once you received medical attention by their personal doctors, you were sent back to your detective job as an undercover criminal. Before you know it, months pass as you become used to your routine, something you didn’t want to happen. Of course, there was no enjoyment in feeling dirty or like a coward. Everytime your shift at the department closed, you would return to headquarters where you were forced to reside considering their lack of trust for you. You would inform your boss of anything he needed to know or an update on any assignment you were commanded to complete.

There were moments when you thought of different escape plans or to set them up, but one of the executives always had an eye on you. You knew you were being watched every moment you were at work or even around headquarters. It had you on edge and walking on eggshells. You truly felt helpless but you didn’t stop trying to think of something.

You’ve never been the type to be a seductress. Sure you’ve worn sexy clothes a couple of times and had a fair share of dates before you started working as a cop, but you’ve never actively seduced anyone before. Considering your predicament and no better idea, you decide to work on your skills. You visited the Haitani Brother’s strip clubs more often since a few of the men would go on outings and those were the only times you were allowed somewhere other than the department.

You observed the behavior of the strippers and waitresses. You even studied the bartenders and the customers. You watched the interactions carefully. You knew that if you played your cards right, you could gain a little more trust. Enough trust to help them slip up and for you to make an escape and notify witness protection before they can go after your family. You will gain as much evidence as you possibly can to ruin them once and for all.

Weeks pass and you’re seated on a chair in the VIP section of one of the brother’s nightclubs. The thick smell of marijuana, tobacco, and alcohol fills the air. You eye the first victim who sits on the sofa with a blunt in hand, black and blonde hair falling past his shoulders as he leans back in his seat. He blows the smoke out slowly with a dazed look, the woman who was sitting on his lap hopping up after he pats her thigh, telling her to grab him a drink. You take a deep breath, eyeing the other men to see the rest of them distracted, whether they’re entertaining a woman, gambling, or sniffing cocaine.

You exhale before making your way to Kazutora, sitting next to him, though not too close. Your hands begin to tremble as you stare ahead, second guessing your plan as you’re ready to run off. Before you could leave, a hand guides your chin, forcing you to look into the golden orbs that shine through the dark light beams.

“What’s on your mind, Doll?” He questions before releasing your chin and handing you the blunt. Before you became a police officer, you would smoke weed in your youth. Having not had it in a long time, you shake your head.

“T’s not a request. Smoke it.” He says with a heavy lidded gaze and a sly smile. You huff before taking it from his fingers, the wood placed between your index and middle finger as you place the end to your lips.

You immediately cough after sucking in a little more than you could handle, no longer having the lungs for this kind of thing. He laughed as your vision blurred from the tears, a burning sensation filling your throat as you handed it back to him.

Once you are done, you realize that you are higher than you expected to be.

“Oh shit.” You whisper as you stare into space.

“Here, let me help you.” You heard from beside you. Fingers grab your chin once more, turning you towards the man who takes a long hit of the blunt before turning to you and leaning in very close.

“Open your mouth.” You comply as he leaned in closer, the tips of your lips barely grazing the other as he slowly released the cloud into your mouth, his gaze still on you. After breathing in, the weight of your body felt heavier as you became in a more relaxed state. You leaned back against the sofa as you gazed into the room with your own heavy lidded gaze. The plan you had escaped your mind as you zoned into the colorful flashing lights.

“Someone’s in another world.” Ran said as he sat next to you on the other side. His leg pressed firmly against yours as he placed a hand on your healed thigh. You could smell his cologne as well as the tobacco lingering faintly. It was a nice fresh yet earthy scent.

“You smell good.” You say, not bothering to be shocked that your thoughts escaped your lips without any control, something that used to happen all the time when you got high.

“Thanks, sweet girl.” His smile grows as he observes your flushed face, gazing into your features before chuckling and grabbing the glass cup from the table.

You had no clue why you said that. You’ve never been anything but professional around these men. The hand gripping your thigh caused you to look down.

“Hey, what about me?” Kazutora gives a fake look of offense before handing Ran the blunt, causing you to snicker.

“I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Now you are.” He says before wrapping a hand around the back of your neck and pulling you to his chest. Your nose was nuzzled in between his shoulder and neck, the smell of marijuana thick along with the faint smell of cologne.

He hummed before circling both arms around your waist and pulling you closer, your leg forced on the other side of him as he yanked you on top of him, your hands landing on his shoulders. You gasp in surprise, the bulge prominent against your core as your pencil skirt rises slightly.

“Oh?” Ran says before taking a hit as his eyes drop to your skirt.

“I like this position better.” Kazutora smirks as he gazes into your eyes. “Isn’t this what you wanted anyway, Y/n?” You couldn’t focus on anything but what’s pressed against your pussy, your face heating up as your nerves begin to strike. The memories of your plans begin to fly across your brain though you only just now realized how terrible a seduction plan would be. You must’ve forgotten you were dealing with some of the most feral men.

“Let me go.” You say as his grip only tightens causing you to wince in pain.

“You wanted to seduce us right?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “You thought no one would notice your wandering eyes or suspicious behavior?”

“You really are so easy to figure out. It was noticeable when you first changed your clothing.” Ran says with his leg crossed and back leaned against the sofa, bringing the blunt to his lips once more.

“I have to admit, it worked.” Kazutora says while raising his hips, his erection rubbing against your panties as his hands moved to your ass. You gasp when you feel one of his hands pull your skirt all the way up to your waist, revealing your underwear.

“Feel that? You have me all worked up.” A smack on your ass caused you to flinch. “It’s all your fault.”

“Damn.” He whispered as he looked down at your covered pussy sitting on his bulge, hands rubbing up your sides before he shoves his fingers into the crevices where your stomach and thighs meet. You try to pick yourself up, only to feel something against the back of your head.

“I wanna play too.” Sanzu says behind you, gun pressed firmly against your head as you feel his hand rub along your butt cheek, gripping it before smacking the skin.

“Let me go right now.” You grit your teeth, nails piercing Kazutora’s shoulder as you tremble slightly. This isn’t what you had in mind when you planned to seduce them. Not only was it meant to be an individual thing, you weren’t expecting it to go as far as anything too physically intimate. How stupid you were.

“You should relax, yeah?” Rin says as he walks into view behind the sofa, leaning on the back of the surface with his hands as he gazes at you. He hands Sanzu the cuffs, the pink haired man pulling your arms behind your back and securing you in place. Kazutora kept his eyes on you the entire time, even when you looked away.

You felt Sanzu’s hand slide under your ass, rubbing along your panties as he glides against the slit of your vagina through the fabric, not a care for Kazutora’s bulge being in vicinity.

Tears threaten to spill as you angrily look at Kazutora, who brings a hand behind your neck before pulling you closer to his face, pressing his tongue to your neck as he rubs it along the skin. Rin leans over with a hand on your chin.

“If you bite me, I’ll bite harder.” He warned you before pulling you into a kiss. Kazutora moves from your neck before focusing on your breasts through your blouse. You gasp against Rin’s lips though he took the opportunity to pierce his tongue through your lips. He quietly moaned as he moved his free hand to the side of your face, fingers tickling your ear.

“You’re so wet, filthy girl.” Sanzu said quietly before using a finger to scoop some of the juice before bringing it to his lips, sucking the moisture off his finger before returning his hand to your pussy. He used one hand to move the panties out of the way and replace his hand, using a finger to ease into your vagina. He put the gun back in his holster as he distracted himself with the feeling of your vaginal walls sucking his finger in.

Rin released you, only for Ran to wrap a hand around your head and pull you in for a passionate kiss. You wince as he bites your lip, pulling on it as he pulls back before releasing, only to reconnect your lips together. Sanzu shoves two more fingers in as he stretches you out, causing a muffled yelp to leave your mouth.

Rin unbuckled his pants before reaching into his underwear to pull out his pulsating cock. Ran’s lips muffled the moans that escaped as Sanzu thrust his fingers deep into you at a steady pace. He cursed as he felt your hole tightening around his limbs. Kazutora unbuttoned your blouse to release your breasts that are covered by the bra. Not wasting any time, he reached into his pocket for the pocket knife, using it to slice your straps as well as the middle lining that keeps the pads connected. He pulled the remainder of the bra off and tossed it to the side.

His fingers grabbed your molds as he used his thumbs to fiddle with both nipples. You shut your eyes tight as he kept up the motion with one breast and leaned over to connect his tongue with the other. Ran releases you as he begins to unbuckle his own pants, just as Rin placed his palm on the top of your head before placing his cock near your mouth.

“Open up, pretty girl. I better not feel any teeth.” You turn your head away.

“N-No! Let me go, all of you!”

“Wonder how your family would feel to know that you’re getting fingered by one of their murderers right before I shoot their brains out.” Sanzu says softly against your ear, dazed by his own arousal. You frown as you clench your teeth from Kazutora’s tongue flicking your nipple, as well as Sanzu accelerating his pace.

“Come on, Y/n.” Rin says as he guides your head, you had no choice but to open your mouth. He exhaled as he eased the tip of his cock between your lips, warmth engulfing him as he gained a better grip on your head to pull you forward until the base of his erection was against your nose.

You shut your eyes as he held you there, forcing you to gag on his cock. A mixture of drool and precum slides down your chin as you breathe through your nose to the best of your ability. Sanzu removes his fingers before moving your panties out the way of your behind. Your eyes shoot open when you feel a wet pressure push into your asshole. He used two fingers, the residue slick making an easier access though the tightness stretched painfully.

You whimper against Rin’s base before he pulls you back, only to force you to swallow his erection once more. His cock slides in and out of your mouth at a steady pace, each thrust resulting in the head sinking down your throat. More saliva piles up as well as his semen, leaking as your head is guided.

“You’re a natural.” He moaned, thrusting his hips harder against your mouth as Kazutora slid a hand down to your pussy, feeling for your clit before rubbing along circles with a finger.

Ran rubs his own cock as he eyes your mouth taking his brother, focusing on the bulge that appears on your cheek as he can see the indent of Rin’s cock. He watched as the juices leaked from your mouth, listening to the whimpers and grunts that left your throat.

Kazutora removes his hand before grabbing his own hard cock from his pants. It flapped on your stomach before he guided you to lift up enough for the head to connect with your entrance. He used a hand to rub the tip against your wet pussy, moaning at the warmth.

“Sit.” He demands, using a hand to place on your hip as well as his other hand wrapped around his shaft to aim it correctly. He gazed at your full mouth, finding the mess beautiful on your face.

“Fuck…” He hissed as you lowered onto him, warm walls already sucking him in. “…this is exactly where you belong. Sitting pretty on my cock.” His hips thrust into you as your pussy engulf him fully. The tears streamed from your face as Rin neared his orgasm. Kazutora’s arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you tightly against him, just as Sanzu added a third finger to your ass, ripping a ragged moan out of you.

Rin’s head falls back as he releases a moan, warm liquid shooting down your throat as he holds you in place, forcing you to swallow all of his seed. Once he pulls his cock out of your mouth, you cry out as Sanzu accelerates his speed, just as Kazutora begins thrusting into you. His cock slides as his feet push against the floor, legs spread as he begins to pound into you. Your juices slicken him up, allowing him better access as the tip of his cock immediately hits your g-spot.

Just as your head was about to fall on his shoulder, a hand holds you in place as another erection slides into your sore mouth.

“Look at me.” Ran commands, you obey as your eyes tearfully move towards the intense gaze he holds. You could hear Kazutora moaning as Rin sat on the sofa, rubbing his cock while he watched you getting plowed from three ends. Ran thrusts his hips as his cock slides in and out of your mouth, groaning as he keeps his gaze on you.

“M’ gonna cum so deep in this pussy.” Kazutora moaned, pounding into you as he forced your hips to meet his thrusts. His lips are apart as he gazes at you taking Ran’s cock down your throat, just as Sanzu used one hand to grab your neck. Your pussy clenched as the stimulation on your cervix caused you to orgasm, bucking your hips as you groaned loudly on Ran’s cock.

“That’s right, baby. Good fucking girl.” Ran praised you for your orgasm, your face heated more than it already was as a funny feeling formed in your stomach. Sanzu removed his fingers right as Ran cums deep into your throat, holding you in place as his brother did. Kazutora continues to thrust into you, forcing you to ride him even while you’re overstimulated. Your head was only able to drop on Kazutora’s shoulder for a second before Sanzu replaced Ran and forced your head up.

“You’re not done, yet.” He smirked before shoving his cock down your sore throat. Your jaw felt sore as it was stretched once more. You whine on his cock at the pain as well as the overwhelming feeling in your abdomen. He begins at a faster pace than the Haitani brothers not allowing you to adjust before he’s fucking your face.

Kazutora continues to hump into you, his head falling back as he groans, releasing into you as deep as he could possibly go. He pressed firmly against you to make sure his semen fills you all the way up. Sanzu’s thrusts become sloppier as he moans, releasing a curse before he bucks his hips slowly, pressing his cock all the way to the back of your throat. He forced you to swallow his cum as he stared down at you.

For the rest of the night you were rotated between each man so they could have a turn with your pussy, all the while causing you to faint a couple of times as your body was completely used for their pleasure. You were out for a couple of days before the dreadful routine of you becoming their cum slut began. They were brutal, more brutal than the first night as they twisted you every which way. Sometimes Sanzu would use you as an experiment by drugging you up with different products you never thought you’d try, praying to not be drug tested any time soon at your job though you knew Bonten would find a way to handle the problem.

In the midst of those days, you had forgotten who you were before. The darkness shaped under your eyes, you lack an appetite, and your poor body is worn out. Everyday felt dark, cold, and empty. You were lying in your designated bedroom, staring at the ceiling until the door unlocked and someone walked in. You shut your eyes as the person got closer, hovering above you before they leaned over, warm breath on your ear.

“Did they break you, yet?” You recognized the whisper to be Mikey’s voice. Your eyes teared up as they streamed down your face, turning away in a fetal position as your boss climbed into the bed with you. His arm snaked around your waist as his face nuzzled on the back of your neck.

“Now you know how it feels.” His lips graze your skin as he speaks. “To feel and be nothing.”

“You are my broken doll to play with.”

One day, you had enough. You were going to leave if it’s the last thing you do. Even if it results in your death, you don’t care. You were done with this. One day you had snuck a bag of sleeping pills Sanzu kept in a specific area in his office. This night was perfect because they’re supposed to meet up for a deal beforehand so Mikey will be there as well. When you arrive at the club, instead of heading to the bathroom like you said, you head to the bar.

After telling the bartender who you’re with, he hands you the bottle with the tray of glasses. He didn’t seem to mind that you hadn’t been a waitress which is perfect. You look around your surroundings before placing the pills in the bottle. You leave everything on the table for the actual employee to take it up so they won’t get suspicious of your excuse for the bathroom.

Once you make it back, you sit on Mikey’s lap like he commanded you to. Your nerves were struck as you watched the woman enter. Excitement prominent as you watch her pour the bottle before handing each man their cup, including Mikey. You watch as all the men take their shots, downing them quickly as they continue their play. You peek down at Mikey’s hand, seeing that he hasn’t taken a sip which made you nervous.

Just as the men started dropping on the sofas or chairs, your hands trembled as Mikey’s arms tightened around your waist, drink still in hand.

“When they wake up, I’m going to let them do whatever they want to you.” Tears appear at the corner of your eyes as the familiar lump forms in your throat.

“I’m going to allow whatever I didn't accept before…” His head dropped to your shoulder as he continued, “…you can drink the alcohol so you can rest beforehand, or you can save it so you’ll be asleep while they tear you apart.”

You stare ahead with a troubled gaze. The trembling became violent as you felt the urge to jump away, ready to run for your life. You subconsciously eye the bruises and cuts along your skin as you bite your lip to quiet the sobs.

“No matter how many times they break you apart, I’ll always be there to put you back together because you belong to me.”

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

E N H Y P E N as a Mafia Boss (teaser)

pairing: enhypen x reader

summary: seven mafia boss found their love interest that they will protect with their own lives. “i fear nothing but losing you.”

warning: contains violence, guns, murder, obsessive love, manipulation, illegal stuff & mafias.

a/n: I just want to remind everyone that will encounter this blog, that this is all fictional, none of this reflect to any of enhypen members. The way I write their personalities here is based on the concept of a bad boy and purely from my imaginations.

Yeah i am starting this series now! i cannot believe! please do interact with my blogs. it really means a lot to me whenever you let me know what you think about them. btw, i love you guys and thank you for supporting me up until now. have a nice day/night! 🌸

tag-list: @rubyanne​ @en-sun @studioreader @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @definitely-not-kyuzu @ririshi @minamoons @pshlvr​ @astxrism03  (tag-list open)

Yang Jungwon

— yang jungwon was the most powerful mafia boss in your town. people, gangs, police and even the government fears him. he was your boyfriend. it was cool and almost everyone in the town treats you like a queen.

— not until... “let’s break up! i cannot take this anymore.” you dramatically told him. jungwon rolled his eyes as he heard those familiar lines of you. it was almost the same scene you pull every time things doesn’t go on your way or he goes against you. since you are the biggest brat he met in his life, he knew very well you mean none of the things you said.

— “the boss said you should wait for him in your room, ma’am.” one of his body guards stopped you from entering the meeting hall. your brows furrowed as you glared at him but still, he refused to let you through.

— just then, you realized jungwon ain’t taking your words seriously anymore. so that night, you planned out a very brilliant plan to escape from the mansion, his mansion. it didn’t became easy but it was worth it, you felt like finally, you are deciding for yourself without him stopping you.

— you then started your pretty little adventure at the town. since they still thought you are yang jungwon’s girl, nobody dares to mess with you. it was a perfect opportunity for you to take your time to pull yourself together.

— on the other hand, jungwon loses his mind the moment he knew you ran away. the thought of you roaming around the town all by yourself made him crazy mad. “search the whole town for her...” he muttered seriously as he starred down over to your necklace that you left at your shared room. “now!” he clenched his jaw.

— your freedom didn’t last long as the news of your break up with the great mafia boss spread across the whole town and suddenly everyone you mistreated were coming right after you.

— you spit out blood after the person in front of you hit you hard at your face. you smirked, despite the cut at your lips you aren’t afraid of him at all. you know him, he’s one of those losers who’s scared of jungwon and now that they learned about the break up, they went to burst their anger at you.

— a gun was pointed straight at your forehead and you were still smirking, you never fear gun. being a mafia boss’ girlfriend made you lose your fear from it. even before you knew it, the guy pointing the gun at you was shot dead and the familiar men of yang jungwon invaded the whole places.

— “you’re seriously gonna be the death of me, y/n.” you heard him muttered angrily in front of you. with a seductive smirk, you faced him, “i would love to see it with my two eyes.” and you winked at him before rolling your eyes.

Lee Heeseung

— living a life where money is never an issue, people fear you, and you have power over other people seems ideal for other people. being the only girl mafia boss, lee heeseung, have ever loved was the title every girl would die for. lucky for you, you have the notorious mafia boss wrapped around your fingers.

— you thought you’re used to this kind of life but years later, some things changed and realizations dawned unto you.

— “what happened to you? are you okay?” you asked, as you approach him carefully with worry in your eyes. he came inside your shared bedroom, holding his black coat and his white polo stained with so much blood. it had made your heart fell out of fear.

— heeseung smirked as he walked towards your bathroom, you followed him and you saw him washing off the blood at his hands. you sighed and slowly walk closer and made him face you so you can help him unbutton his polo. 

— “aren’t you tired of this kind of living?” you asked him so sudden. he was starring at you before you asked that question. admiring and telling himself silently inside his mind how lucky he is to come home to you every night like this.

— “what do you mean?” he asked and raised his hand to brush away some of your hair. you gulped and inhaled heavily before you lift your gaze up at his. “this... guns, killings.” you said. heeseung rolled his eyes and stepped away from you to face the sink once again.

— you clenched your fist and pursed your lips, “i can’t keep living like this, heeseung.” you tried arguing once again. he shut his eyes and sighed heavily to calm himself. “are you saying you’ll leave me? because you know what it’ll cost you, right?” his eyes were darkly starring at you.

— “i’m saying if you plan to be with me for a very long time, get married, have kids and build our own family, you have to stop this.” you said seriously. he clenched his jaw as he balled his fist that was resting at the sink, his eyes were looking at you through the mirror.

— “you know its impossible for me to get out now. once you’re in- that’s it. you won’t get out.” he mumbled, angry. “i want a normal life. where i don’t have to be accompanied by many men, where i won’t always worry at the corner of our room during nights whenever you ain’t home yet.” a tear left your eye as you look straight at him.

— “you have to choose between me or this type of living, heeseung.” you said and turned your back at him. you ignored his groaning tone as he called over to your name over and over.

Park Jay

— you grew up without even meeting both of your parents. it was said that they died because of a dreadful accident and so your uncle, the brother of your father, was left to take care of you.

— it was okay, despite the shortness of financial sometimes, you have nothing else you worry about. not until your uncle was chased by this group of men because of his debt. his own life was in line and so he had no other choice but to sell you as his payment.

— that’s how you end up in the mansion of the family of Nam. its horrible and inhumane, the things they do for a living, but its not like you can do anything about it. you are now one of Mr. Nam’s so called properties.

— he had many business partners, all of them mostly were leader of gangs and other mafia bosses like him. he often takes you at the meeting like a date. he was nice but a bit too old for your liking, you guess he’s more than ten years older than you. good looking, but way older.

— one time, he held a big meeting at his mansion, inviting every mafia family near the town that he knew. you are spending your time inside your room, alone. since its mostly men, Mr. Nam had told you to stay inside instead.

— “what are you doing here?” you asked, a bit surprised when someone entered your room. he’s wearing this black suit that made him look even hotter. his hair was pushed back showing off some of his forehead, he looked so good.

— he smirked, “oh sorry, i was actually looking for the bathroom.” he said obviously lying as one of his hands were inside his pocket, the other one was holding a wine glass. you sighed, trying to calm yourself.

— “you shouldn’t be here, Mr. Park.” you mumbled. you knew him. the oh so notorious Park Jay. a young mafia boss from a couple of towns away from yours. his name is pretty popular as he was a playboy. you’ve also met him a couple of times and he’s nothing but trouble.

— “yeah? and who would stop me?” he asked in a playful tone as he slowly settled the glass of wine at your side table. he walked closer to you in a slow pace, causing for you to be breathless.

— “he w-will kill you.” you said and was about to try and get away but it was too late. he got you locked by one of his arms as he pulled your body close to him, he smirked, eyes fixed at yours. “or it can be the other way around, baby.” he whispered in front of your lips before he leaned closer for a passionate kiss.

Jake Sim

— love is something you take seriously and when you fall in love with someone, you pour everything you have. you’ll do everything for that person and so your world fell apart when your boyfriend for three years betrayed you. 

— “how can you do this to me, (name)? i helped you build your company! i gave everything to you!” your voice trembled in pain. you have no idea what you would do if you lose him and the business. but what he did was also unforgiving.

— “its not my fault, y/n.” he said smugly before shrugging off his shoulders. you had followed him to his business trip thinking you can surprise him for your anniversary only to find out he was cheating on you.

— “give me all my money back.” you demanded although you know its impossible because he made you sign papers that you willingly gave him that money. it was a stupid action, you know that now.

— “too late, y/n.” he mumbled with a smirk. a tear fell from your eyes as he stood up and put both of his hands inside his pocket. “don’t you get it? you are left with nothing without me.” he said. and the next thing you know, your bestfriend walked inside, a smirk was also plastered over her lips as she slowly cling her arms over your ex-boyfriend’s arms. “you ready to go, hon?” she seductively ask and you realized they had both betrayed you.

— on your flight on the way back home, you were very scared because this time, you had no one beside you. when the plane was about to take off, you felt your hands tremble in fear. “u-uhm, excuse me?” without hesitation, you had called the attention of the person seating next you. he looked at you with a blank expression.

— “d-do you mind if i hold unto your hand as we take off? its j-just i’m scared of planes and—” he quickly held to your hands silently. his hands were warm and very comforting making you feel like crying. that day was just too much for you.

—  you thanked him after it and thought to yourself that it will be the last time you two will meet each other, not knowing that’s only the start of the new chapter of your life.

— “tell me what you want me to do to them, love. anything, just name it.” jake whispered as he stood behind you mightily, hands resting at both of your hips. he leaned down and dropped a warm kiss at your exposed shoulders. you pursed your lips, “i want them left with nothing but scraps.” you said as a tear left your eye. 

— “as you wish.” and he dropped a swift kiss at your cheeks before you turn around to embrace him tightly. you used to be weak not until you had found him,  jake sim, your new found love that you swear to fight for no matter what.

Park Sunghoon

— you are a normal girl living a normal life. beautiful, have a nice job, and a sweet loving boyfriend. it was almost like you can’t ask for anything else anymore. but one night, as you roam around the city alone, trying to get some fresh air, you didn’t know your life will change from that day on.

— “fucking let me go! don’t you know this is kidnapping?” you yelled at the people who suddenly just abducted you the road and took you at this expensive hotel. they were wearing black suits and don’t talk much, like as if they were waiting for someone to command them.

— you heard the door opened and it revealed some ethereal looking guy. his face was blank and it seems like he’s the one in-charge. you were taken aback for a bit because he was very good-looking. “did you hurt her?” he asked. “no, boss.” they answered.

— he nodded and slowly walked closer to you. if he’s good-looking from afar, he’s breath-taking up-close. he looked so handsome and intimidating. those moles all over his face sure add some charms in him. “i’ve been searching the whole world for you, love.” he softly mumbled before he raised his hand to caress your cheeks carefully like as if you’re something so fragile.

— “fifty men, one girl and yet she managed to escape?” he wasn’t shouting but yet its enough for the men around him to be scared. they knew sunghoon is someone who don’t get mad easily but if he get angry, you should run for your life.

— “search for her or else i’ll kill all of you.” he threatened and right away, they moved to go and look for you. he clenched his fist hardly as he calmed himself and to stop himself from killing his men for letting you escape.

— “let me go! i said let me go!” you shrieked as you try get away from his hold from you. sunghoon clenched his jaw and threw you over the bed. he was slowly loosing all his patience for you. “try to escape once again and i won’t hesitate to do something you won’t like.” he threatened you.

— despite the teared stained face, you still didn’t showed any fear. n “you are a sick asshole, do you know that! fucking let me—” you were startled as he held you by your jaw, brows furrowed hardly at you. “you are mine, y/n. you hear me? fucking mine, all mine.” he mumbled at you.

— “i am not yours. never was and never will be.” you bravely said. you saw how his face reflects anger, his eyes turning blank. “let’s see.” he said coldly before harshly letting go of your face and he stood up. “don’t let her out from this room unless she changes her mind.” he ordered.

— “you keep claiming that you’re doing all of these because you love me but this ain’t love!” you yelled at him that made him stop from his tracks. he slowly turned over you and with cold, blank eyes he says, “i’ll love you the way i want.” before he left the room and you crying in desperation for him to let you go.

Kim Sunoo

— your line of family was all assassins and so you grew up to become one as well. you worked hard and now you are one of the most high-paid assassins in your clan. you were hired to spy this one mafia clan. you had no worries since it was like your usual job. it was the family of Kim, their mafia boss, kim sunoo. it was said that he’s known for being ruthless, his soft features almost made you doubt it.

— you successfully entered their line of people. you thought everything’s going smoothly not until you slowly got close to the mafia boss himself. he was a nice person to the people under his power.

— “where are you heading, boss?” you asked him as he dress himself into this white suit. he looked at you through the mirror and smiled a little. “funeral. one of our men’s wife died and so i will go to offer my condolences.” he mumbled. it had you dumbfounded and made you realized how great of a person he truly is.

— the most unexpected happened and that’s for you to develop something deeper for the said mafia boss. it was wrong because he was nothing but your project, but love is not something you can control. if its bound to be felt, it will take over your heart.

— “we have a traitor, boss.” one of sunoo’s men came over to him to report that news. no emotion can be seen over his eyes as he eyed his men. “kill him with no mercy after you know who he works for.” he said.

— “she, boss. its y/n.” he said and you cannot describe the emotion that was plastered over kim sunoo’s face after he heard about it. his mind went blank and he felt his heart grew cold. of all people, why you?

— “shall i still execute the plan?” the men asked him. he knows he should say yes and give no mercy about it. you are y/n and you may mean the world to him but a traitor is a traitor but no, he tried to convince himself that he had spared you because he will need you to kill the person who sent you.

— “i know i’m in no position to ask you for your trust but—” you were interrupted when a gun was pointed straight at your head. sunoo was in front of you, holding the gun with his emotionless eyes. it pains you, how his used to be bright stares turned cold.

— “believe it or not, i love you.” you said ready to face your death. at least you had said what you truly feels for him. he scoffed, “its too late for that don’t you think? your love for me won’t save you.” he said while starring straight to your eyes.

—“yeah, but it’ll save yours.” and you saw something flickered through his eyes after hearing what you said.

Nishimura Riki

— being born in a family of mafia, things were a lot different for you. guns never feared you. it had became part of your daily life to see men die for your family and for your men to kill other people. 

— even in the young age you are trained to learn how to fight and hold guns, your father had decided for it thinking you need it since you are next in line to inherit the family clan.

— “you will never win over me,” you smirked at the young ni-ki as he was still at the ground at one of your combat practices. you were ten that time. he’s ni-ki, son of your father’s best friend. you two basically grew up together and both the one next in line. “one day, i will grow strong and be the one to protect you, y/n.” he said as he slowly get up, dusting himself off. you chuckled, didn’t taking his words seriously, “well, a boy can dream.”

— you can say, you and ni-ki was best of friends. you even do that promises typical best friends do, that ‘nobody can ruin our friendship.’ it was back when you two were just children.

— but things started to get complicated when some of the important things in mafia rules was broken by your own father. trust were broken and loyalty became just a word, greed took over him.

— “you’re gonna kill everyone from their clan?” ni-ki asked his father when he heard that what he’s planning to do. “of course. i don’t need traitors like them, son.” his father said seriously. he clenched his jaw and was silent after that.

— “even y/n?” he asked him. “she didn’t know anything about what her father did, father.” ni-ki added. “maybe. but the blood of that person runs through her. we can’t let them live, right?” his father said.

— ni-ki’s eyes were blank as he starred down at your tied up state. you cannot believe he’s the same ni-ki that was together with you back when you were ten. he changed so much. his height, built and even his aura. he’s so much intimidating right now.

— he crouched down so you two will be in the same level, “i’m here to tell you that i will fight for you.�� you scoffed at him even if you felt your stomach turns and heartbeats fasten because of what you just heard. “it will be a bloody fight, ni-ki.” you said.

—  he sighed, “then bloody it shall be. if it means you’ll be safe and mine, i’m sure it will be worth it.” he was serious. you gulped, “you’re father will go against you.” you said. he starred straight at your eyes, “if pointing a gun at my father’s head is what it’ll cost. i will not hesitate.” he said as he leaned closer to you, “all for you, baby.”

main masterlist

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 302 “Mayhem on the train”

So welcome to the new year and to the very first new chapter of the year that helps us start 2022 with optimism.

Yeah, yeah, I was inspired by the “Final Destination” movie series but really, it felt fitting.

Anyway, let’s dig intot he chapter... though I should probably warn you this chapter makes HUGE use of the rule of cool to try to have you suspend your disbelief willingly (BTW The Rule Of Cool, according to tvtropes.org dictates that: “The limit of the Willing Suspension of Disbelief for a given element is directly proportional to its awesomeness.”).

Now I love cool things... but when I make meta my willing suspension of disbelief is nearly nonexistant so consider yourself warned because this is an extremely cool chapter filled with things so unlikely it might make your head spin. Realism and logic though are hardly as cool as fiction so... it really depends on what matters the most for you.

We start with Sugimoto thinking he can bring the situation to an endgame just by killing the final boss, Tsurumi. Well, maybe he’s thinking so because Hijikata told him so in Goryokaku (see chap 296).

Only this isn’t exactly a videogame and I’m not so sure the 7th division would just give up if Tsurumi were to be killed, I mean, his death would surely impact it but Koito and Tsukishima could still take charge… ��though, of course, since this is a manga it would probably work same as a videogame so whatever, Sugimoto’s logic might even work… if it wasn’t for the fact Tsurumi isn’t going to wait for Sugimoto to come murdering him.

Maybe either because he’s genre savvy, because he’s a contributor to the Evil Overlord’s list or because he’s just that clever, Tsurumi doesn’t just stand there and wait for Sugimoto but climbs on the train’s roof and walk over it as that’s the safer and faster path.

Besides it’s not like Tsurumi is going to be bothered by the air rushing at him, lose his footing, fell from the train and on his death. He signed for more than 302 chapters, after all... though really, I don’t get why he doesn’t sprint toward the start of the wagon but merely walks.

Sure, it’s funnier but... shouldn’t he rush? Logic, where are you?

Anyway now, while Tsurumi is cleverly advancing unbothered by any obstacle, Sugimoto doesn’t think to join him on the roof and try to shoot him… which probably goes to Sugimoto’s credit as he’s not Ogata and wouldn’t hit a silo at 1 meter of distance unless the plot where to call for him to gain sudden shooting ability for plot reasons and clearly this wouldn’t be the case, so Sugimoto would only waste bullets if he were to try to shoot Tsurumi… not that bullets are useful for Sugi anyway but that’s it, Sugimoto evidently just decides to postpone his ‘let’s murder Tsurumi’ plan.

Whatever, the glorious soldiers of the 7th division who’re in the other wagon have heard that there has been ominous noises of commotion in the final wagon and so they have all put their bayonets on their rifles, a hint they didn’t believe their companions were just cheering on the incoming battle too loudly and… and are discretely trying to do what the Evil Overlord’s list advises not to do, instead than to attack the hero party en masse, they stand around waiting while the guys in the other wagon attack them.

Because if something ominous that pushed them to prepare and attach their bayonets on their rifles it’s happening in the other wagon… well, there’s no reason to rush help their companions.

Whatever, they finally decide to open the door and try to do something, only it’s predictably too pate as Ushiyama opens it for them… flattering them all against it.

Really, I don’t get why they had lost at Goryokaku when Ushiyama can single handedly dispose of so many men who don’t even think to hide behind the seats and, from there, shoot multiple times at him. No, much better wait there to be trashed away. So, while Ushiyama just pushes away more than a half of the soldiers, the one who were distant enough decide to bravely run away.

Then Ushiyama starts massacring the soldiers, making them fly left and right.

Hum... maybe the idea was that the competent soldiers of the 7th division all belonged to the first wave. Those who’re meant to be used for the second are the ones who’re actually in the story merely to be tossed away by Ushiyama.

Fine, okay there’s one soldier who has enough good sense to try to shoot Ushiyama but don’t worry, he’ll accomplish nothing because he is shoot first by Hijikata, who, despite all the blood he should have lost due to the wound on his back, is up to fight like a teenager because we all know he ate mermaid meat and the fact he looks old is merely a disguise to trick enemies.

Okay, more seriously I love how Ushiyama is trashing enemies, it’s a definitely cool scene, but it clashes with the seriousness and realism of Fort Goryokaku’s battle where Hijikata’s forces, which were much more numerous than currently, were crushingly defeated.

Yeah, back then the 7th had cannons and yeah, they remembered they could use rifles to shoot and a more open ground but still the contrast is a bit too much.

Anyway, Hijikata tells Asirpa that would be the perfect moment to jump off… only no, Asirpa realizes it’s not because as soon as she tries to leave the wagon she notices Tsukishima, still on his horse, running after the train, apparently waiting for her to jump off so he can catch her.

Shiraishi, still in the wagon, notices the incoming Koito who’s taking two soldiers with himself (for who has forgotten about it, Ogata shot the third soldier who was with him so as to steal his horse). Shiraishi is someone with great escaping experience and, while Asirpa is stalling, he immediately realizes they’ve no hope to escape by jumping off the train, grabs Asirpa and gets into the other wagon in which Ushiyama, Sugimoto and Hijikata are, because being in a wagon in which a fight is going on with them is better than being alone in a wagon in which Tsukishima, Koito and two other soldiers can enter. Bless Shiraishi.

Now you see why I said Tsurumi should have run?

Because he reaches the end of the wagon only now, when Asirpa and Shiraishi are already inside, which was what the plot needed but Tsurumi really shouldn’t make moves according to the story convenience but his own.

I mean, Idon’t really know what held him back, that wasn’t the moment to take a leisure walk on the roof, he had no reason not to run but whatever, from the top of the roof, COMPLETELY EXPOSED, he instructs Tsukishima to go to the lead car to get around them so that they can trap Asirpa in between them and steal her quiver.

And damn, Tsurumi seems to be losing more blood from his hand wound than Sugimoto or Hijikata from their various wounds. Okay that there are veins in the hand but damn it, he’s litterally leaving a trail, blood flowing out of him, to the point he might just end up dying of bloodloss if this keeps up.

Tsukishima obeys him, Sugimoto instead forgets that, when he’s involved, the bullets in his rifle are merely an added weight to his own weapon, and tries to shoot Tsurumi.

Predictably, he misses and Tsurumi jumps on the other wagon to resume his happy walk at a leisurely pace.

Hijikata insists that Sugimoto should jump off with Asirpa and escape in the forest or something… because surely it’s not like other soldiers in horses can reach them, never mention the Koito group being already there. Whatever, maybe he intend to wait for Koito’s group to also get aboard the train before having Sugimoto and Asirpa do their grand escape. At least I hope so.

Sugimoto thinks it’s better if he remains on the train and thin the number of Asirpa’s pursuers as this is the only way he can protect Asirpa’s land deed. Asirpa obviously hears it and is impressed and, I fear, this is going to become an additional burden on her already traumatized soul who, not so far ago, has decided to become a human shield for you and even murder for you.

Really, Sugimoto, I get the feeling but I think in that moment it was better for Asirpa if you were to play the jerk role and say you were going to risk your life for yourself. No need to say you’ll give your all for Asirpa while Asirpa is on earshoot.

Hijikata goes and stabs the dagger deeper by commenting it seems Sugimoto has forgotten about his share of the gold, to which Sugimoto remarks he’s not doing this for his sake and that he can’t help helping people as it’s something he inherited by his dad, and Hijikata corrects him saying this is Bushido...

and…. and… I get this speech sounds very nice and it’s meant to tie in with this discussion...

...but I actually have problems with it because it feels misleading (maybe it doesn’t feel as much misleading for the Japanese readers but I can’t really speak for them).

Anyway this bit paints both Sugimoto and Hijikata being in the gold hunt for selfless reasons, it’s Bushido, is sticking your neck out for others, they’re not interested in the gold, they aren’t doing this for their sake and yadda, yadda… which would be very nice if it didn’t make a mess with the information we previously were given.

Let’s start with Hijikata because he’s simpler.

Hijikata is not in this mess for the sake of the Ainu, he wants to turn Hokkaido into a buffer state for the sake of Japan… which can still be seen as ‘selfless’ since he’s still fighting for the sake of others, only he’s willing to sacrifice other people for his own goal (and I’m not talking just of people opposing to him, think at Hidoro’s men whom he slaughtered while they were thinking he was an ally or at Sugimoto, whom in Abashiri he used to create a diversion or at Ariko, whom he used to get the tattoed skin) and no one, neither the Japanese government nor some Ainu leader, asked him to do so. Hijikata claims he wants to give the Ainu a state also to repay Kimuspu for his help because if he has a debt with one Ainu it’s like he has a debt with the whole Ainu populace… but his plans for the nation he would create aren’t for an Ainu state in which Ainu could continue their lifestyle but for a multicultural state in which he would invite people from other states and pursue an economy based on coal mining.

As he fought for his goal, as far as we know, he didn’t really ask Ainu for their opinion on the matter, and in fact the Ainu support for his plan is basically inexistent, we don’t know how Ariko got dragged in but he was clearly manipulated and Kirawus was in it because he needed money and helped with the cannon because he was moved and inspired by ASIRPA, not by Hijikata. As for Asirpa she joined hands with his plan because… well, my poor kid wanted to help the Ainu but she didn’t really have a plan to do so and Hijikata’s plan to her didn’t seem bad… or at least it seemed better than Tsurumi’s.

Long story short, Hijikata’s ‘selfless’ goal is actually moved more by his own personal ambition to do something good for his country (Japan) and by his own personal ego as he thinks he knows better than others what’s better for them (hence Japan should just give up Hokkaido because Hijikata knows Japan need it as a buffer state and Ainu should just organize their state as he says because he knows better than them). Also, as Nagakura said, he probably wants an heroic death.

And hey, it’s okay Hijikata is moved by ego and personal ambitions as well as this makes him human and real… but now he’s presenting it as not the case. And again, okay if this was merely the narrative Hijikata wants to spin for himself, because there’s plenty of people who want to believe to be purely selfless when they’re not but if all the characters buy into it… well, I fear this will look like the narrative for which the story is now pushing. Hijikata was a grey character, not a white one, and it was cool and great because grey characters can still do a lot of good and they’re more real than white ones. I really hope the story isn’t trying to repaint him as white… because there would be not even progression in this, as he was grey then he whitened up, the fact that he had that talk about Bushido with Wilk before the gold hunt seems placed there to tell us he was white right from the start… when it’s more Hijikata only wished to be white but he was grey and remained grey.

And now we move to Sugimoto, because his case is more complicate. Sugimoto, right for the start, was in this mess for the gold. He wanted the gold but this doesn’t mean he wanted the gold SOLELY for his own sake. Surely, he wanted to be rich and he wanted to use the gold as a mean to come back home the way Tanigaki was told to use Retar’s skin as a mean to go back home… but ORIGINALLY, his plan was to get the gold for Umeko.

Even when he joined hands with Tsurumi and claimed doing it to protect Asirpa, he asked money for Umeko once they’ve gotten the gold...

...so no, Tsurumi didn’t immediately hand it to him, so Sugimoto never received it and therefore HE STILL NEEDS IT which is something he makes clear in chap 242.

Sugimoto’s share of the gold, isn’t SUGIMOTO’S ONLY, it’s actually the share he meant to give to Umeko. It was again a selfless and selfish goal, but it was a goal with selfless connotations. He wasn’t just doing it for himself, he was sticking out his neck for Umeko when pursuing the gold, and he wanted that gold he was disappointed when they found the land deed, which he had no idea existed. For a long time he didn’t want Asirpa to get involved, nor cared for the Ainu problems, thinking he could comfortably hand Hokkaido to Tsurumi.

So the fact he’s presented like someone who now doesn’t care anymore of how he needs the gold for Umeko and was doing all this solely for Asirpa’s sake seems to somehow clash with the narrative we’ve been feed till now. It would be different if Sugimoto has filled his pocket with the equivalent of 200 yen in gold and were to tell Hijikata ‘I never waned ALL that gold, just enough to help a person, so now I’m fine focusing on helping another person, Asirpa, reaching her own goal.’

Instead what he seems to say here is ‘I never cared about the gold in the first place or I would have given up long ago, I was here to help Asirpa’… which… isn’t the story I’ve been reading till now, especially since at the start Asirpa didn’t even want to be involved in this mess and it was Sugimoto who pushed her to join him by insisting she would avenge her father this way.

Of course it can be a matter of translation, maybe in Japanese Sugimoto’s answer is more nuanced, maybe he means to say in that moment he’s prioritizing Asirpa because that’s what the situation calls for, that he’s not giving up on the gold, just taking care of what’s more urgent, but really, this bit seems to attempt to paint him too as white when Sugimoto as well was grey… and the fact that everyone was grey was what really made “Golden Kamuy” cool.

They were all humans with their selfish and selfless motivations intertwining together and what made a difference was how far they were willing to go so that Tsurumi felt a really dark shade of grey because he was willing to do too many ominous things while Sugi felt a pale shade of grey because he was draw a line at many things.

Now that we are almost at the end of the story, this talk about Hijiakta and Sugimoto being white, having always been white feels as if there’s an attempt at robbing “Golden Kamuy” characters of their complexity, which is a pity. But, as I said, maybe it’s just a problem of translation… or something Noda will re-address later on, forcing them to face that one is only their own narrative. We’ll see.

Whatever, while Sugimoto puts some bullets in his rifle because this way it will be better balanced when he’ll swing it back and forth to stab and hit, Hijikata discharges his own (as he probably has no more bullets for it) and decides to use just his sword because for someone WHO CAN ACTUALLY SHOOT like him, recovering one of the rifles left behind by the 7th is for people who aren’t as cool as him and so it’s better if it’s Sugimoto who tries to do so.

Okay, so they’re in a small space and probably a katana works better than a rifle but still, since Hijikata was perfectly capable to fight with both, I would at least put one on my shoulders (Hijikata might not have anymore bullets for his rifle and the ones of the 7th can’t be recharged with a single hand like he does with his Winchester so, okay, maybe fighting with an Arisaka rifle might not be that functional but still...).

Whatever, Ushiyama ignores them and continue to trash soldier ahead of them (and hey, one of the soldiers impressively managed to stab Ushiyama’s arm! That’s quite the accomplishment since so far Ushiyama had remained unhurt as far as we know) so I don’t get how some soldiers managed to get in between Ushiyama and Sugimoto and Hijikata but well, maybe they hid under the floor, waited for Ushiyama to pass and then tried their luck with the apparently less dangerous Sugimoto and Hijikata. Really, I think they would have had better luck with Ushiyama and that’s saying it all.

Ushiyama though, stops in his track when, behind two soldiers appears him, THE TSUKINATOR.

Sure, his size isn’t quite the one of Schwarzenegger, but, in Tsukishima’s case, it’s not the size that makes the man, it’s the kicks that would make Hyuga Kojirou proud plus the fact that he is one of the 3 members of the 7th division who can think (and the only one who is still on Tsurumi’s side as Kikuta died and Ogata defected… and yes, I might count Koito in this too but Koito started thinking only recently and, from when he stared, he has mixed feelings on being on Tsurumi’s side so…). Unless Igogusa is involved. But whatever, I don’t think Ushiyama will bring her up so Tsukishima is safe on that side.

Meanwhile the conductors of the train have overheard the ominous noise coming from the passenger cars as well and wonder if it’s a train robbery and if they would do better to stop the train, though they’re almost at Hakodate, which, I guess, it’s the relevant info Noda wanted to deliver us though their discussion.

Anyway they don’t manage to do anything as Ogata, who has somehow reached the head of the train without being noticed by Koito despite Koito being ahead of him and on the same side of the train, shoot them both.

Whatever, there’s a forest around apparently, let’s assume trees hid Ogata until he reached the locomotive so Koito didn’t notice him.

Koito and Tsurumi seems to hear Ogata’s shoots...

...which likely means this time Ogata shoot the conductors instead than holding them at gunpoint and have them jump off the train or, even better, pretend to be still a soldier of the 7th with orders they had to follow, because those two were meant to realize he joined the ride.

Well, I like to think Koito surely realized so as he previously noticed someone shoot one of his men and might have gotten his horse. I’m not sure if Tsurumi is betting on Ogata to have joined them on the train, as he’s unaware of this detail and might think it’s someone else who’s an ally of Sugimoto but whatever.

As far as we know neither Sugimoto, Hijikata, Tsukishima, Ushiyama, Asirpa or Shiraishi heard Ogata’s shoots so I wonder if this really is meant to foreshadow how Ogata will interact with either Tsurumi or Koito first.

Whatever, Ogata, after patting his head either in self praise for his accomplishment or because, despite accomplishing it he got himself in a damn dangerous situation, is now standing on the locomotive and comments this one now is a runaway train headed straight for hell. So either something unpleasant is going to wait them at Hakodate or he expects not much people will get off of it alive. Awesome.

On a minor note kudos to Noda for remembering Ogata’s leg is wounded, and painting the blood on it. Sure he’s losing less than Tsurumi from his hand but it’s the thought that matter.

Also sure is that Ogata got himself a good spot.

My guess is he expects Sugimoto’s group (which by now is apparently in the third wagon) to try to reach the locomotive to control the train and maybe discharge the other wagons as they only slow the train down, and he’s planning to wait for them there. Sure, he might also try to get inside the train and try to reach Asirpa’s group from the front, taking advantage by how the soldiers on the train are likely converging toward Asirpa and so wouldn’t notice someone coming from the front but whatever, we’ll see.

The most clever thing Ogata can do is to wait for Sugimoto’s group to dispose of the soldiers, as he’s not that great at close combat and so he would be at disadvantage if he were to try to fight them.

They also probably need to leave the train before reaching Hakodate as Hakodate is the terminus of the railway and, if they don’t stop there, either the train learn to go on something else that’s not railway for a while before crashing against  a building or ending in the sea or they’ll have to stop at the station, do a lot of explaining and, possibly, meet some more soldiers.

Anyway we’ll see. I would like to see a meeting between Ogata and Koito or Ogata and Tsurumi more than one between Ogata and Asirpa but they’re all welcome as long as they turn out more than just a ‘let’s fight’.

That’s because I would appreciate some more explanations (and we had plenty of fights already so they’re starting to bore me, time for a change of pace) but maybe it’s just me. Anyway with this the chapter ends. We’ll see what will happen in the next chapter.

[trenchcas]

episode origins p1

i was watching moriah earlier today and was wondering what the significance of the name moriah was, so i searched it up. i’ll explain it here in this. i wanted to learn which episodes have titles derived from pop culture, literature, etc. so i put together this list. it’s not complete, feel free to reblog with more!

why did i waste hours on my life on this, you ask? i don’t know. 

season 1

pilot: obviously, all the first episodes of shows are called pilots. nothing new here.

wendigo: they’re fighting a wendigo

dead in the water: the phrase means “unable to function, move”.

phantom traveler: the name of the demon they’re fighting

bloody mary: based off the legend

skin: shapeshifters, also there might be a meta about how it’s a metaphor for dean

hook man: they’re fighting a hook man

bugs: bugs

home: they go home

asylum: they go to an asylum

scarecrow: scarecrow

faith: the concept of god first comes into play here, i thought that was pretty interesting. that’s why it’s called faith, duh. dean + faith is explored.

route 666: racist truck yes

nightmare: sam’s visions

the benders: i think it’s based off of the bloody benders, a family of serial killers

shadow: meg’s stalkery?

hell house: it was literally a hell house

something wicked: originally chanted by WITCHES in shakespeare’s macbeth. the full line is “something wicked this way comes, open locks, whoever knocks”. obviously the shtriga is a witch and it refers to that.

provenance: painting provenances, it’s in the episode

dead man’s blood: they use dead man’s blood

salvation: being saved or protected, like the boys and john do with the family

devil’s trap: the devil gets them in a trap. and they built a giant devil’s trap too.

season two

in my time of dying: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

everybody loves a clown: based off of the gary lewis song [x]

bloodlust: i think it’s for the vampires but they were also a band in the 90′s

children shouldn’t play with dead things: based off of the 1972 movie

simon said: the whole “you do what i say” thing with andy and evil andy

no exit: it’s a song by blondie and in the episode h.h. holmes captures blondes...? am i just clowning

the usual suspects: based off of the 1995 movie

crossroad blues: based off of the robert johnson song (fave!) [x]

croatoan: i like this one. okay, so you guys probably know about the whole roanoke/croatoan thing in the 1600′s. so there’s a theory that the settlers were wiped out by a disease (similar to this town). also, the town would disappear off of the map.

hunted: gordon hunted sam

playthings: dolls, but the little girl was the grandma’s sisters plaything

nightshifter: a shifter in the night

houses of the holy: based off of the led zeppelin song and album [x]

born under a bad sign: based off of this song [x] there are a bunch of others including jimi hendrix but...?

tall tales: yeah i think this one is self explanatory

roadkill: someone got killed on the road

heart: werewolf heart but also how sam gave his heart to madison aww also there’s a band called heart

hollywood babylon: based off of the book by the same name

folsom prison blues: based off of the johnny cash song!! [x]

what is and what should never be: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

all hell breaks loose: yes it did

season three

the magnificent seven: based off of the pretty famous western go watch

the kids are alright: based off of the who song [x]

bad day at black rock: based off of the 1955 movie

sin city: there’s a bunch of songs but the city was sinning so

bedtime stories: they were bedtime stories

red sky at morning: the full phrase is “red sky at morning, sailors take warning”. with the theme of this ep it fits pretty well.

fresh blood: fresh blood yes

a very supernatural christmas: i’m not sure. i think it’s based off of a christmas album?

malleus maleficarum: a 1400′s book of witches. latin for “hammer of the witches”.

dream a little dream of me: i love this song! based off this: [x]

mystery spot: mystery spot

jus in bello: i can’t really explain it but here [x]

ghostfacers: g h o s t f a c e r s

long-distance call: long distance call

time is on my side: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

no rest for the wicked: a biblical quote that means “evildoers will face eternal punishment”. also, “one’s work never ceases”.

season four

lazarus rising: in the bible, lazarus is the righteous man, which makes dean the righteous man. and he rises. so. 

are you there, god? it’s me, dean winchester: based off of the judy blume book (maybe?), are you there, god? it’s me, margaret.

in the beginning: they go back in time

metamorphosis: with the rugaru but also sammeh

monster movie: monsters and movies

yellow fever: referring to the disease i think, but also there are a few songs

it’s the great pumpkin, sam winchester: based off of it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown.

wishful thinking: yeah

i know what you did last summer: dean + hell, sam + ruby. is it based off of the shawn mendes song? i don’t think it is because this came out way before the song.

heaven and hell: opposite sides meet, dean’s hell experiences.

family remains: there are remains

criss angel is a douche bag: idk?

after school special: based off of the abc program? i think?

sex and violence: there was a lot of sex. and violence.

death takes a holiday: death took a holiday

on the head of a pin: i’m not sure but this article is interesting, maybe related. probably related. [x]

it’s a terrible life: based off of it’s a wonderful life? i love that movie btw

the monster at the end of this book: ughhh! yes!!! first of all there’s a sesame street book by the same title. also, chuck actually was the monster at the end of the book! that’s crazy. insane. 

jump the shark: “(of a television series or movie) reach a point at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.“ probably the whole long lost brother thing.

the rapture: a belief that christians will rise to “meet the lord in the air”. kinda like jimmy does.

when the levee breaks: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

lucifer rising: lucifer rose

season five

sympathy for the devil: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

good god, y’all!: cas goes to find god

free to be you and me: a marlo thomas album and the brothers split up

the end: yeah it’s the end

fallen idols: i think we get it

i believe the children are our future: a lyric from a whitney houston song

the curious case of dean winchester: based off of the short story, the curious case of benjamin button.

changing channels: channels were changed. the end.

the real ghostbusters: based on the 1985 animation

abandon all hope: the full phrase is “abandon all hope, ye who enter here” and that pretty much sums up this episode.

sam, interrupted: i’m not sure?

swap meat: meats were SWAPPED.

the song remains the same: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

my bloody valentine: based on jensen’s movie. but also the band?

dead men don’t wear plaid: based on the 1982 movie

dark side of the moon: a pink floyd album

99 problems: that one jayz song whatever

point of no return: a 1993 movie but also the poto song hehe

hammer of the gods: based off of the 1985 book i think? it’s about led zeppelin so probably yeah.

the devil you know: means that it’s better to deal with a situation you understand than one you don’t.

two minutes to midnight: this phrase is commonly used as a countdown to a global catastrophe (i.e. the fucking apocalypse)

swan song: someone’s final performance before retirement (i think this is about both brothers because it’s sam last battle and dean’s last fight before living with lisa)

season six

exile on main st.: based off of the rolling stones album [x]

two and a half men: it was a sitcom? but idk if that’s where it’s from

the third man: based off of the 1949 noir thriller? maybe? but there were also three men so idrk

weekend at bobby’s: it was a weekend at bobbys

live free or twi-hard: based off of twilight and that bruce willis movie that i watched once way back when

you can’t handle the truth: truth goddess. soulless sam gets exposed ig

family matters: based off of the 1989 sitcom? maybe

all dogs go to heaven: based off of the 1989 movie? probably

clap your hands if you believe: i think this is an original title idk

caged heat: based off of the 1974 movie i think

appointment in samarra: probably based off of the 1934 novel of the same name

like a virgin: based off of the madonna song [x]

unforgiven: sam does unforgiven things

mannequin 3: the reckoning: not sure

the french mistake: just... just read this link [x]

and then there were none: based off of the agatha christie novel of the same name

my heart will go on: y’all all know what’s up [x]

frontierland: they went to yeehaw town

mommy dearest: based on the 1981 film? maybe?

the man who would be king: based off of the 1888 novel by rudyard kipling

let it bleed: based off of the rolling stones album/song [x]

the man who knew too much: shares a name with the 1956 film

season seven

meet the new boss: they met the new boss idk

hello, cruel world: sad sam

the girl next door: there’s a 2004 romcom with the same name

defending your life: a 1991 romcom! wow!

shut up, dr. phil: sam and dean became philanthropists idk

slash fiction: hahahahaha i think we know what it means but wHY is it called that?

the mentalists: they met a bunch of magic people wow!

season 7, time for a wedding!: more like season 7, time for a slightly r*pey episode and GARTH!

how to win friends and influence monsters: based off of the 1936 book how to win friends and influence people

death’s door: they were at death’s door idk

adventures in babysitting: based off of the 1987 movie by the same name

time after time after time: based off of the cyndi lauper song? [x]

the slice girls: prolly based off of the spice girls idk

plucky pennywhistle’s magic menagerie: yeah idk

repo man: it’s a 1984 film too

out with the old: they were fucking around with antiques

the born-again identity: obviously based off of the bourne identity which i haven’t seen in forever

party on, garth: hahaha

of grave importance: it was very important

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo: probably based off of the movie/book the girl with the dragon tattoo. 

reading is fundamental: reading is fundamental. go read a book.

there will be blood: there was blood

survival of the fittest: everybody fought idk

okay i’m gonna stop here for this one because i’m tired asf and i’ll do part 2 later 

[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2020

I started off really good this year, what with quarantine and all. And then I got sidetracked by reading one hundred and forty-nine fanfics (and counting) (mostly Destiel; CW can kiss my ass). 

I read 30 books this year, which I thought was bad, but apparently I only read 24 last year, so not awful. I did the Popsugar reading challenge for the fifth year. There were 50 categories this year, so 60% isn’t too bad. So without further ado, let’s get started under the cut.

1. The Mermaid, The Witch, and the Sea, Maggie Tokuda-Hall (a book that’s published in 2020). This book, y’all. My god. It has it all: pirates, queer relationships, genderfluid characters, an intense plot. This book was so good. I definitely recommend this book. Pirates!!! And gay!

2. Somebody Told Me, by Mia Siegert (a book by a trans or nonbinary author). I don’t know how Siegert identifies, but I know they use they/them pronouns. This book was... okay but frustrating. A bigender teen, Aleks/Alexis, has a traumatic experience and moves in with their aunt and uncle, who is a newly converted Catholic priest. I liked the queer rep, but sometimes it felt like the author had these assumptions or prejudices about the Catholic church. Some of them were right, granted, and I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore so I don’t know why it pissed me off, but it bugged me anyway. So I guess if you don’t mind it seeming like the author did little to no research on Catholicism, then it’s a good book.

3. All the King’s Men, by Nora Sakavic (a bildungsroman). Who, me? Rereading my gay comfort trilogies during quarantine? It’s more likely than you think. Love the All for the Game trilogy. This is the third book in the series. It’s the best book in the trilogy. It is a series about a college sports team who play a made up sport called Exy, which is basically a more violent version of lacrosse. I’m not a huge sports fan, but the way she writes Exy matches had me on the edge of my seat. The team is made up of all “at-risk” students, the main character being a kid on the run from his mob boss dad. Trigger warning for the series for violence, sexual assault/rape, abuse, drug use, I may be missing some things. It was so good though.

4. Captive Prince, by C.S.Pacat (a book with a map). Back again with the gay comfort trilogies. This is the first book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and whoops, did I say love All For the Game? Love this series more. It’s awesome. It’s fantasy and gay and romantic. But the romance isn’t even the central part. Laurent is my favorite asshole. Damen is so sweet and sassy as fuck. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Seriously. I can’t do this series justice.

5. The Foxhole Court, by Nora Sakavic (a book recommended by your favorite blog, vlog, podcast, or online book club). First book in the All for the Game series. What are you still doing here? Go start this trilogy!

6. Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine (a book that passes the bechdel test). This is such a good book. It was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. It’s basically a retelling of Cinderella, and if you’ve seen the movie version with Anne Hathaway, the book is way, way better. 

7. Loki: The God Who Fell to Earth, by Oscar Basaldua (a book with the same title as a movie or TV show but is unrelated to it). God, I cannot WAIT for the Loki show. Anyway, this is a new comic about Loki (obviously). I love anything with my disaster wife in it, so 100% I recommend it. 

8. As Drowning Men Clutch at Straws, by EA Roisin (a book by an author with flora or fauna in their name). Okay, so. Roisin is an Irish name that means rose, and EA Roisin is my (unpublished) pen name. In my defense, the manuscript is 186 pages long and it felt like an accomplishment when I finally finished rereading it for the first time since I finished it in 2015. Do I recommend it? I’ll let you know if it ever gets published.

9. Red White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that won an award in 2019). I’m still rereading this book. I got interrupted because my sister wanted to read it and then I got a new book for my birthday. But this is, far and away, my FAVORITE BOOK. It’s so beautiful. It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

10. A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, by Hank Green (a book with only words on the cover, no images or graphics). This is the sequel to An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. This was just as great as the first, but I spent a good chunk of the book vibrating with anxiety. The stakes were way higher, and I don’t think I’ve been scared while reading a book since reading Jade Green (Phyllis Reynolds Naylor) in junior high (which was fucking terrifying, btw). But I definitely recommend it!

11. Crush, by Richard Siken (a book with a pun in the title). Guys. I read this book almost every year, because it’s quick and gorgeous and the title is accurate because it absolutely crushes me. This is a collection of LGBT (more specifically, gay) poetry, and OH MY GOD. This is in my top five favorite books. I read it all the time. This is the book that made me fall in love with poetry, back in high school.

12. The Raven King, by Nora Sakavic (a book with a bird on the cover). The second book in the All for the Game series. Trigger warnings for All the King’s Men apply to this one, too. 

13. 1014: Brian Boru, by Morgan Llewelyn (a fiction or nonfiction book about a world leader). If you know me, you know I’m a complete Irish history nerd. This book is about a very important battle that took place in Ireland, and the last great High King of Ireland, Brian Boru. High Kings are mostly just an elected title, who get paid via taxes from provincial kings and chieftains, but Brian was the only one who saw as close to a united, free Ireland as it got until 1921 (although since the island is split between the North and the Republic, it’s still not totally unified). I recommend if you like history.

14. The Magnolia Sword, by Sherry Thomas (a book by a WOC). Oh. My. God. So this is a retelling of the ballad of Mulan. Mulan is a very important story to me anyway (tomboy as a child, genderfluid, bisexual as fuck), and this retelling was so good and interesting. It also features one of my favorite tropes, Surprise Gays. I highly, highly recommend.

15. My Own Ways Through This Life, by Chris Viau (a book with at least a four-star rating on Goodreads). Okay, so it miiiight have a four-star rating because of me and my camp family all rating it, but it counts. This is a mixed media autobiography by one of my camp friends. He has written at least three books, and all are available on Amazon. This is the only one I’ve read so far, and it was really interesting. I definitely recommend it. 

16. Insomniac City, by Bill Hayes (a book you meant to read in 2019). This book was beautiful and heartbreaking. It was a Christmas gift from my brother. It’s a memoir about Bill’s time in a relationship with Oliver Sacks, a famous neurologist. It’s sweet and melancholic and funny. Huge recommendation.

17. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens’ Agenda, by Becky Albertalli (a book about or involving social media). Still such a wonderful book. Better than the movie, I’m telling you. It was really good, and I definitely cried. If you liked the movie, read the book. It’s different in several ways. I think if you’re thinking in terms of trueness to the book, the movie was maybe not as good, but they’re both good as their own standalone things. But I highly recommend both.

18. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a book that has a book on the cover). This is such a good series. It’s a great characterization of my disaster wife.  I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

19. Kings Rising, by CS Pacat (a book with a made up language). This is pushing it, since they never actually speak in the made up languages on paper. But UGH. Third book in the Captive Prince trilogy, and hands down the best. Laurent and Damen finally let go of the goddamn longing and actually do something about it.

20. The Deep, by Rivers Solomon (a book set in a country beginning with C). This is pushing it, because it’s about mermaids (basically), but I think they’re in the Caribbean. I loved this book. It was so interesting. It’s based on a song by clipping., Daveed Diggs’s group. The premise is the wajinru (the mermaid people) originated as the infants from pregnant Africans that died and were thrown overboard during the slave trade. So like, it’s a pretty heavy book. But it’s heartfelt and sweet, too. Also more Surprise Gays, which came at an excellent time (November, post-Supernatual finale) for me. I highly recommend.

21. Written in the Stars, by Alexandria Bellefleur (a book you picked because the title caught your attention). I just finished this book tonight and it was so. good. It’s basically a modern, lesbian, fake dating rendering of Pride and Prejudice. And let me tell you, if there’s one thing I love more than Pride and Prejudice, it’s lesbians. It’s really really great. I highly, highly recommend. 

22. Running with Lions, by Julian Winters (a book with a three-word title). Thanks to All for the Game and movies like Handsome Devil and Boys, I have discovered that I have a huge thing for queer sport stories. So this book was really, really good. It’s got friends to enemies to friends to lovers, which is great. It’s got soccer, which is way more homoerotic now. And it’s got gays, which is really why I picked this book up. But it’s well written and the story is interesting, too. I definitely recommend.

23. The Prince and the Dressmaker, by Jen Wang (a book with a pink cover). Oh my god. AHHHHH!!! This book is amazing. It’s a graphic novel, so it’s a quick read. It’s fantasy and feels a little Cinderella-y, but that’s not the best part. The queer relationship is amazing, but that’s not the best part. The prince is genderfluid! Like me! And his mask name is Sebastian! Like me! (Okay, so my name is Bastien, but close enough) This was so so so good. I got it at a convention in February, and I was practically vibrating with excitement as I read it. I highly highly highly recommend. 

24. Girl Crushed, by Katie Heaney (a book by or about a journalist). I think I’d have liked this book better if it wasn’t so...similar to my life. The main premise is the main character is getting over a sudden and painful break up, after being dumped by her long-term (maybe first? I can’t remember) girlfriend. The ex has the same initials as my ex and acted very similarly, so maybe I ended up picturing her when the character came up in the book. The ending pissed me off. It was very gay and that wasn’t the entirety of the book, so maybe you’ll like it more than me. It was just too true to life for me and opened up some old wounds I didn’t want to open up. The author is an editor at Buzzfeed, so that’s how it fits into this category. 

25. Date Me, Bryson Keller, by Kevin van Whye (your favorite prompt from a past POPSUGAR Reading Challenge--a book published this year). This might be my second or third favorite book, goddamn it’s that good. It’s queer, obviously, and sort of fake dating? Bryson is dared to date someone new each week. He’s assumed to be straight, so all the people he dates are girls until Kai asks him. It’s really sweet, and there’s some issues with coming out to your family that don’t always sit well with me, but overall it was really good and it ends well. I definitely recommend.

26. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book written by an author in their 20s). AAAHHHH!!!! Fuckin.... Okay, y’all know I have feelings about Loki. He’s my spouse and I love him to death. This book was so, so good. Loki gets sent to Victorian London to solve a mystery and meets a group of humans who know about Asgard and basically keep Midgard in order for Odin. Loki is canonically pan and genderfluid (as he should be), and Theo is a sweetheart. I wrote a 10k fic coming out of reading this book (Phantom Limb by Irishavalon on AO3, check it out.). I seriously recommend!

27. Because of Winn-Dixie, by Kate DiCamillo (a book by an author who has written more than 20 books). I read this with my third graders at the beginning of this year. Such a good book. I read it as a kid too. The movie is great but as always, book is better. Recommend.

28. Adventures of Charls, the Veretian Cloth Merchant, by CS Pacat (a book with more than 20 letters in its title). This was a reread of a short story that comes after the Captive Prince trilogy. Charls, the cloth merchant, was such a great side character in the CP trilogy, and telling the story from his perspective was great. It doesn’t have to be read after the other CP short stories, but at least the trilogy should be read first.

29. Fence vol.1, by CS Pacat (a book from a series with more than 20 books). I’m pushing it with this category. I read the first volume, but this is a comic book series, so the 20 books is more issues. This is very good too. It’s another gay sports story, and is probably going to be enemies to lovers, but they’re still enemies by the end of volume 1. Still recommend. 

30. Prince’s Gambit, by CS Pacat (a book with a main character in their 20s). Book 2 of the Captive Prince trilogy. Very very good. 

[queenmercurys]

hey love :') ALL the odd numbers for the ff asks??

NOTE: I realize now that this said all the ODD numbers, but me being an idiot, I just read “all numbers” and went for it. oh, well. here’s answers no one asked for :P and the ones you asked for, thanks, ems ;))

this is why you’re the greatest friend in the entire world ;D okay, here we go!! i’m gonna skip the ones i already got asked, but there’s still plenty to do ;P thank you so, so much, I love you!

2. Least favorite game?

well, out of the ones i’ve played, i’m gonna have to go with type-0, at least for now. it’s pretty good, i like the story, but the gameplay is crazy hard (and this is coming from someone who has played final fantasy since she was 8) and i’m not like crazy in love with any of the characters. they’re all good, but there’s not that thing that i have with basically every other final fantasy. but i’ve not finished it yet, it has plenty of time to change my mind!

3. Which games have you played?

i have played vii, viii, ix, x, x-2, xii, xiii, xiii-2, lightning returns, xv, world of final fantasy, type-0 and dissidia nt. however, i would like to note that i’ve watched crisis core so many times that i have basically played that, too. and i would, if i had a psp. anyway, i recently bought vi, so i’ll be playing that next, and then going backwards. the only ones i am not actively trying to play are xi and xiv. i’m not into multiplayers. but anyway, i also know the stories of the dissidia games, and i know the stories from i to vi, so nothing is really unfamiliar to me. it’s an amazing franchise and i love it.

4. Most underrated game?

i have to say x-2. it gets so much hate and for no reason whatsoever. it’s such a joyous, beautiful game with wonderful characters, the best turn-based gameplay and surprisingly fun minigames and sidequests. i stan x-2 100%.

5. Most overrated game?

if i were less biased, i’d say vii, but i’m not perfect, so i’m gonna go with my other pick: vi. i am sure it’s absolutely wonderful, and everything seems great based on what i have heard, read and watched. however, the fact that the cast is literally cramped with 20 million different characters throws me off a tiny bit. i can’t see it being that easy to give good character development to all of them, and i guess that hasn’t happened. but yeah, i honestly can’t say much before actually playing it. but i suppose part of the praise is largely due to nostalgia - as it is with vii, too. 

6. Favorite protagonist?

that would be my perfect darling, cloud strife.

7. Favorite antagonist?

this was a bit of a tough one, but i’m gonna go with ardyn izunia. 

12. Best looking male?

cloud strife for sure. he’s really, really handsome, okay.

14. Character you would most like to marry?

well, this may come as a shocker, but cloud strife.

15. Character you hate the most?

i appreciate him for everything that he is, i think he’s a totally epic villain, but after everything he’s done to cloud, to aerith and to everyone else, i am definitely gonna have to go with sephiroth. but he is iconic and the franchise wouldn’t be the same without him.

16. Which game had the best cast of characters?

even though it’s not my favorite game, i’m gonna go with vii. it has such a large, engaging multiverse to itself that it’s had a lot of time to develop the characters and make them more interesting and fleshed out. and i love so many of them so much. like my darling cloud, or sunshine boy zack, or aerith, or tifa, vincent, yuffie, cid etc etc. i think the cast of characters is really awesome. but that’s not to say i don’t love the other casts, because i do, very much so.

17. Which game was the saddest?

crisis core. what made it worst was knowing from the start that zack was going to die, and then living through it all, seeing how happy he was. watching him fall in love with aerith, befriend cloud, and even hang out with sephiroth and genesis. it’s so heartbreaking watching that boy try so hard, and then eventually die protecting his best friend a few miles away from his goal. it’s really not fair, and watching the ending always breaks me. that’s not even counting the pain that cloud had to go through in crisis core, but if i take that into consideration, it just strengthens my argument: crisis core is definitely the saddest game.

18. Which game was the funniest?

x-2. i know it’s a bit cliche and maybe even a bit cringe, but i love every bit of it. it’s pure joy, and watching yuna be happy and carefree even for a bit warms my heart. and personally, what i think makes it even better is that the game also has so many heartbreaking, sad moments. it balances itself out very nicely.

19. Which game had the best love story?

i am definitely gonna go with x. the story of yuna and tidus is well fleshed out, it’s romantic, it’s tragic, it’s sweet and above all (because i love this aspect in couples) it’s angsty as fuck, and that is exactly what i want from any fictional couple. they are a big part of why i love x as much as i do.

21. Which game would you sooner die before doing the above ^?

since i picked x-2 for the game i’d like to insert myself into, i am gonna go with… xiii for the game i would not like to be in. the world is gorgeous, but the divide between the people of cocoon and the people of pulse, and the dictatorship-like way the world is ruled, yeah, no thank you. besides, i could never replace lightning, i have literally none of her good qualities.

22. Which game’s world would you most like to live in?

this was really hard for me to pick, but i think i would actually go with the world in viii. it’s a world that has technology (which, as a child of the 90′s, i do need), and it still has many fantasy elements to it, not to mention some really, really gorgeous locations, like fisherman’s horizon, balamb town etc. 

23. Which specific location (e.g. Besaid Island) would you most like to live in?

if we’re going with specific locations, i think i would like to live in tenebrae from xv. it seems like such a gorgeous, peaceful place, i think i would be very happy there.

24. What’s your favorite job/class? Is this the same class you would want to be if you entered a class-based Final Fantasy game, or would you rather be a different one? If so, which one?

my favorite class is probably summoner, but i also have a fondness for the white magic, the black mage and the knight/any other variation of that job class. i think i would probably be a white mage myself.

25. What is your favorite ability?

summoning is always something i find very useful, obviously, but i also like noctis’ warp strike in xv. using weapons with abilities like stone strike is also really satisfying in x, too.

26. Favorite boss fight?

i really love the final boss battle against ardyn in xv. the main reason for this is because in the fight, ardyn doesn’t have an elaborate second form (tho i don’t mind those either), it’s literally just two men fighting each other. and the end, how ardyn loses because he can’t summon up the sword of the father, i think that’s really meaningful and i’ve always liked it a lot.

28. Your favorite spell?

well, i sure have grown very fond of curaga over the years, but in terms of something that i just consider really cool… i’ve always liked holy quite a bit, not really sure why.

29. Favorite summon?

the knights of the round from vii. other than that, probably shiva. i also really like alexander and bahamut.

30. Least favorite battle/boss fight?

i am not a huge fan of the fight against cid raines in xiii. i don’t know why, but that fight took me forever, and multiple tries. just… nope.

31. Do you have any theories or headcanons you swear by (e.g. Rinoa as Sorceress)?

i used to swear by the “squall is dead” theory just because it seemed super interesting, but nah, i love squall too much. he ain’t dead. i think the theory i am very fond of is that vii and x are connected. the theory that the kid shinra in x-2 eventually started developing a technology that would eventually lead to the shinra company in vii. it’s grim, but it’s entirely possible. 

32. Are there any fanon theories/headcanons you just can’t believe?

i mean, there are a lot of weird ones that i don’t buy into, but i guess one that i don’t believe is that cloud actually killed aerith (aka he killed her by drowning her because sephiroth’s sword didn’t actually kill her, but paralyzed her instead, or something). i am pretty sure he checked if she was breathing, give him some credit. 

34. Which canon couple do you think is most likely to break up sometime after the credits roll?

umm… well, considering that they weren’t really even together, ever, i guess it doesn’t qualify, but i’m gonna say cloud and tifa. i just don’t see how it would work, romantically. i get that there are feelings there, but actually as a functioning couple? idk about that. everyone can think what they want, though, what do i know? my second pick would probably be snow and serah. i find them very cute, but that’s another ship where i can’t see how they would actually work in everyday life.

36. And your least favorite non-canon couple?

please don’t throw cloud and sephiroth at me, i really can’t. i have literally nothing against m/m ships, my favorite non-canon ship is strifehart. i just don’t ship these two and i think cloud deserves soooooo much better. again, just my opinion though. 

37. What do you think makes a game a “quintessential” Final Fantasy game? (In other words… some people say the new games don’t feel like Final Fantasy games to them. What FEELS like a Final Fantasy game, to you?)

well, since my first final fantasy was x, i might not be the best one to answer this because my first one wasn’t one of the “classics”, really, but… to me, they all feel like final fantasy. the games don’t have to all be same, nor should they be. but for the sake of the question (which is a very interesting question btw), i think that there needs to be a big bad, and a group of mismatched, troubled heroes who do what they can to defeat that big bad. that’s literally all i need from a final fantasy game for it to feel like a final fantasy. plus, at least one engaging character who i can root for.

38. What things did/would bother you when/if they were put in the games (i.e. what things DON’T belong in Final Fantasy games)?

nothing’s bothered me much yet, but i guess what i don’t really care about are those weird collabs, like xv + assassin’s creed or something. i get why they do it, but ehh. i think those rather “pointless” dlc additions are just that: pointless. i am, however, on board useful and important dlc additions, like story additions or new fighting arenas, like with dissidia nt.

39. What is your favorite prequel or sequel?

my favorite prequel is definitely crisis core, and my favorite sequel is x-2 (does advent children count? if it does, then ac, too). 

40. Square-Enix hands over the reins to you, to make a prequel or sequel for any game of your choice, even ones that already have those things. What do you make?

first i make a sequel to vii to see what happened to cloud after advent children, then i make x-3, and then i make a sequel to viii. it absolutely doesn’t need a sequel, but i want it in glorious hd.

42. Worst character design?

no one looks bad, to me anyway, but i guess some characters are pretty weird, like cloud of darkness’ design for dissidia nt. i get that she didn’t really have any clothes on in the original, either, but that crap must be very impractical in battle.

43. What is your favorite weapon?

cloud’s buster sword, and cloud’s fusion sword.

44. What cutscene do you wish you could cut out of any of the games?

the date scene with iris and noctis in xv. why did they do that???

45. What creature do you most wish was real? (Chocobo’s, moogles, etc.)

oh, moogles would be so adorable. so would moombas.

46. Best soundtrack?

i think all the soundtracks are freaking fantastic, final fantasy music is the best music ever created, but i am gonna go with final fantasy xv. my close second pick would be final fantasy viii.

47. Favorite overworld song?

the one from viii, just because it brings back memories of me wandering around for hours, grinding for magic spells and items.

48. Which game had the best opening cutscene?

they are all freaking amazing, honestly. like honestly, all the games are so beautiful and perfect in this aspect, but i guess if i have to choose… probably x. the destruction of zanarkand is pretty powerful stuff, especially for an opening cutscene.

49. Which game had the best ending?

i’ve always said this, and i will always say it: final fantasy x-2. it’s called the perfect ending for a reason. and yes, i mean the ending where tidus comes back and he and yuna are reunited. 

51. Favorite non-vocal song?

somnus and somnus ultima from xv. honestly the most gorgeous song i have ever heard in my life.

52. Favorite limit break/overdrive/trance/you-get-the-picture mode and/or ability?

cloud’s omnislash for sure. can’t wait to see that in the remake.

53. Are there any plot-holes or questions you have about any of the games that you wish would be resolved?

nothing that bugs me too much. i guess the one that bothers me the most is that, why was ultimecia’s summon called griever?? has anyone ever explained this? if ultimecia isn’t rinoa, then why?? it worries me. i don’t know why, but it worries me.

54. What scene had the most impact on you?

there are plenty, but here is the top 5: yuna and tidus’ goodbye at the end of x, aerith and zack saying their final farewells to cloud in ac, noctis calling the kings of lucis to help him bring back the dawn and they all proceed to kill him in xv, luna and noctis getting married in the afterlife in xv and that scene at the end of viii when rinoa is pointing to the sky, we think she’s alone and then she turns and squall’s there, smiling for the first time in the entire game. okay, no, i’m cheating. also the ending of crisis core, for sure. 

55. Which game did you play first, and when (how old were you, etc.)?

i played final fantasy x when i was around 8 or 9. i got introduced to it by my friend’s sister. we watched her play for days and weeks until i finally asked my dad if i could have the game, too. and i got it, and i loved it. i still do. what a game. 

57. What game that has yet to be released are you most looking forward to?

*laughs nervously* final fantasy vii remake. square… please? 

58. What do you think of the Final Fantasy fandom in general? Do you think it is a good one? Any complaints?

oh, i think it’s a very good one! i’m not one to get too involved in fandoms anyway, so if there is bad blood, i don’t know about it. but everyone i’ve met has been super friendly, very talented and just genuinely wonderful. no complaints :) ok, maybe one. it doesn’t matter if you ship clerith, zerith, cloti or whatever you want. everyone can ship in peace. it’s all good.

59. Do you have any favorite works of art or fanfiction that you always go back to, and/or basically accept as canon?

i have no shame in admitting that i basically consider it as canon (tho this goes into the kh story, too) that squall and cloud are basically the fathers of roxas and sora, and they’re the best, happiest family ever. i go back to a lot of strifehart fanfiction, and plenty of awesome fanarts i’ve seen.

60. If you got the chance to work at Square Enix making Final Fantasy games, at any job, regardless of your skill set (they offer you paid training), what would you most like to work on or do?

hmm, i think i would like to be a character designer, but i would also really, really love to be involved in the story creation and writing, too. maybe i could do both?

thanks so much again, hon, you’re the greatest and i had the best time answering these :D talking about final fantasy makes me so happy! love you

[parrisher]

fiction, future, and prediction (stevebucky fic)

on ao3

hey guys! this is my first ever marvel fic! it’s kinda prose-y but i hope you enjoy it! the title is from “fourth of july” by sufjan stevens btw!!

“Steve Rogers always knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he wouldn’t make it to twenty-five.” The story of two boys growing up in Brooklyn, New York, how they left, and how one came back.

Steve Rogers always knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he wouldn’t make it to twenty-five.

He was born premature, and by the tender age of eight he had coughed and rattled his way through influenza, scoliosis, polio, and the chicken pox. His momma worked three jobs to keep up with his trips to the doctor, and when she was gone, he sat alone and thought to himself about a lot of things. He wondered what his father was doing—his momma had whispered in his ear late at night how Domnall Rogers was out fighting the bad guys, flying across the world to make sure the evil people were stopped. He played doctor with his teddy—the poor bear was always sick. Neighbors reported hearing a voice through the walls. He was one of his favorite people, after all, out of his small world of Sarah Rogers, the doctor, and his favorite nurse.

When Steve was nine, he met James Barnes, fourth child of seven. There was a knock at the door one day while his momma was at the factory, and even though she had told him never to let in strangers, he peeped through the crack in the door. There was a boy outside, head down, kicking the carpet with worn-out play shoes, and that boy couldn’t hurt him, right, because the boy was only a little bit taller than him, and that meant someone to play with. So he opened the door, and the boy’s wide, friendly blue eyes locked onto his face. Less than a second passed before the boy’s face lit up with a grin, and Steve learned that Bucky (because Bucky was better than boring old James) could charm the pants off whoever he wanted.

When Steve was twelve, he caught influenza, and he knew for sure he wouldn’t get out of that dingy beige hospital room. His momma wasn’t there. Her boss had told her that if she didn’t come that day she couldn’t come back, and the hospital was more money than they paid to live in their boxy little apartment for half a year. But Bucky was, and as Steve’s vision grew hazy, he could see his best friend’s outline, feel his hand gripping Steve’s arm, hear his pleading tone but not his words. When he woke up, Bucky was there, snoring, after two days of almost falling asleep standing up waiting to hear news. When he laughed at the sight, Bucky started awake, and Steve saw the tears in his eyes, and that same huge smile that Bucky had when they had first met.

When Steve was fourteen, he got in his first fight. He was walking behind the grocery store to throw away some trash when he saw two boys talking to a girl who had the same expression as he did when the doctor came around with a big needle. Steve hated those damn needles, and right then, he hated those boys too. He walked right up and started asking them questions. By the time those boys finally got distracted, Steve ended up with a black eye, a broken rib, and cuts and bruises everywhere. His momma, rightfully, freaked out. Buck just raised an eyebrow and told him not to go too far away from then on.

When they were fifteen, Bucky got his first girlfriend, and he told stories about her warm skin and soft lips. Steve started staying at home more often. There were fewer fights that way, and anyways, his momma liked it better that way—she said it kept his lungs safe. But Bucky always came home at the end of the day, and made sure Steve knew he was still Bucky’s number one.

When Steve was eighteen, his momma caught influenza. But she was getting older, and working three jobs for almost twenty years cost her in the end. Steve spent his first ever paycheck on a suit jacket and flowers to put on a little headstone with a cross on the top.

-

Steve and Bucky moved in together. Bucky still had his girlfriends, and Steve still picked a fight with anything with a mouth, but things were different now. Bucky had a dream, and they both knew it. White picket fence, pretty wife, four kids. But every day, Steve wondered if it would be his last. He had never really thought about what he wanted when he grew up. In all honesty, he had never thought he would make it that far. So he lived day by day, fighting, laughing, going out with Bucky, even if it was just to humor him.

They only went to a nightclub once. Flying on the high of pay day, they burst through the doors onto the dance floor. With every drink, the two felt warmer and fuzzier. Steve leaned against the bar, eyes locked on Bucky who, even while dancing with a pretty girl’s hand in his, still stared back with that same steely blue gaze. It was even stronger with alcohol.

Bucky dropped the girl’s hand.

The two stumbled through the busy streets of Brooklyn on a Friday night, laughing all the way home at Steve’s stupid jokes. They could barely stand up straight. Steve blinked, and they were home, facing each other, two deer locked in each other’s headlights. Then their breath touched, then their lips, and the liquor in their system pushed them into a bed. Hands on bodies, breath caught, moans, stillness.

Steve woke up the next morning with his head pounding on Bucky’s worn-out mattress, and before the other boy could wake up, he pulled on his shirt and walked back over to his own bed.

The next day, Steve signed up to join the army.

When Bucky found out, he was furious. The two didn’t speak for three days. But when the notice came back that “Steven Grant Rogers does not meet the U. S. Army’s health standards,” he comforted his friend anyways. Steve tried again and again, and Bucky came to realize they wouldn’t let him in, and seemed guilty for feeling happy.

In the meantime, they lived the best lives two poor young men in a hard part of Brooklyn could. They went to the carnival. They watched movies. They went dancing with Buck’s “lady friends”. They made sure Steve was still breathing fine.

It was almost ironic. Steve had applied for the army seven times, and gotten rejected every one. But he came home one day to find Bucky curled up on their little couch, and a letter open on the table stating that “Mr. James Barnes has been chosen to serve our country in Regiment No. 107”. Seven rejections, but Bucky had been plucked from his life in one shot. Steve felt a cold weight settle in his chest. He sat down on the couch and held Bucky in a hug, barely getting his arms around as they mourned for the dreams they wanted and the shit they got instead.

Everyone around Steve and Bucky would have thought their lives went back to normal. But the friends were both counting the days. Twenty-one more days of laughing. Seventeen more days of bad dock food. Eight more days of seeing the other’s face.

On Bucky’s last day, he winked at Steve, and said that they were going to the future. They went to the carnival, each arm in arm with a girl who obviously liked the same one more than the other. A man was showing how a flying car would work when Steve saw a recruitment station. He knew it had to be a sign, those places would take anyone! And when they stamped a regiment number on his form, he ran home beaming. He burst into the apartment only to find Bucky’s suitcase gone, and a new sketchbook on the kitchen table next to a little note saying he would write.

It felt as though the world had stopped spinning.

He hadn’t even gotten a chance to say goodbye.

-

Ms. Peggy Carter wore lipstick the color of blood and high heels in the mud, but something about the look in her eyes reminded him of Buck.

He jumped the hurdles and climbed the ropes and ran the miles, scared of losing oxygen but more scared of having to go back to their two-person apartment by himself. He never really knew why he jumped on the grenade. They told him it was because he was a good man, but who knows? Maybe he’d simply rather die than go home.

When the doctor told him what they planned to do, he accepted. In Steve’s head, there was no way to lose. They clinked glasses in silence.

The lab brought back every time he’d gone to the hospital and thought he wouldn’t come back out. And those damn needles, big and thick and dripping with god-knows-what concoction of chemicals. They closed the doors.

Maybe the electricity killed him and brought him back in a new body. But when Steve woke up, he could breathe right and stand up straight and kick his right knee in a way he hadn’t been able to since he was four. And for the first time in his life, he chanced the thought that, maybe, he could live a little longer.

The tour was the worst part. He could do everything he’d dreamed of when he was younger, but they stuck him up onstage to entertain the troops, the ones he should have been fighting alongside. Every night, he got up onstage. Read off his shield and, eventually, from memory about how buying war bonds was the key to victory! Stage punched Hitler in the face. Wave to the sullen soldiers. Go to his train car and punch a bag until his knuckles bled.

Weeks passed like this, day after day after day. Until one gloomy day camped out in rainy southern Italy, when Steve heard a passing rumor that a regiment had been captured by HYDRA. When he learned it was 107, he was terrified, both for Buck and for how excited he was by the prospect of fighting for him.

Somehow, Steve had never considered that anything would change between him and Bucky. It had always just been the two of them, for better or for worse. But when Steve hopped the fence and turned corners and dodged bullets to free the soldiers, he found Bucky on a cold metal table, looking smaller than Steve had ever seen him. And when Bucky opened his eyes, the first thing out of his mouth was how Steve was taller. And at that moment, Steve realized he didn’t have an excuse to make Bucky stick around anymore. He didn’t need protection; the tables had turned in a way neither of them could have expected.

But even as Red Skull’s face was peeling off his bones, Bucky was making jokes. They escaped with the rest of the soldiers as the base exploded behind them, and for the first time since Bucky had left, the world went back to the way it had been before. As they marched back into camp, Steve finally felt like a damn hero.

Reveling in their victory, the two went to the bar with the rest of the soldiers, forgetting their rules. Steve was flushed and grinning wide. Bucky mumbled something about ‘the outfit’. But then Peggy showed up in that red dress, and Steve realized he had to choose.

Even many years later, he was never sure.

-

Steve had forgotten about Coney Island. He thought Bucky had too. They landed on the train in silence, and as soon as Steve stepped out, the doors closed. Looking back, Steve must have killed that soldier in an instant to get back to Buck. One had “had him on the ropes,” but it was backwards, reversed.

When the side of the train opened, Steve felt time slow until every second was an hour. He was knocking down men. Shots were coming from every side. Bucky was holding his shield. The last man fell.

Bucky slipped.

Steve ran to the edge of the train, stretched out his arm further and further and further. But he grabbed at where Bucky’s hand had been seconds earlier, before the metal pipe Bucky had been hanging from had snapped without warning. James Barnes fell hundreds of miles into a snowy mountain ravine, and the sound of his scream echoed all the way down.

And this time, the merciless world kept turning, in spite of the fact that its best creation had just taken his final breath.

-

A part of Steve Rogers broke that day. Something was unmistakably, irreplacably different. A certain light behind his eyes had died, the one that always sparkled with laughter when Bucky told a joke.

He read and reread the sentences Bucky had scrawled in his sketchbook before he left, never to return to the noisy, brown-walled one-bedroom in Brooklyn.

Dear Stevie,

I know when you’re reading this, I’ll be gone. I’mma come back, though. ‘Know I promised I’d wait ‘till you got here, but you know I like thinkin’ of you at home sittin’ pretty waitin’ for me. But I’mma come back, and when I do, you’ve gotta bring some good food home, ok?

We’re going to the future, pal. I love you.

-Buck

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and vowed to kill every damn Nazi on the planet.

-

He flew onto the plane to capture Red Skull. But Red Skull vanished, was drawn away by a beam of light, and Steve knew it wasn’t his problem anymore. What was his problem, however, was the carrier full of bombs headed for New York City.

Peggy came on the line. They both knew there wasn’t enough time. He apologized for missing their dance. She tried to talk him out of it, but it was his choice.

His choice.

Steve drew in a breath, and tipped the controller down.

How damn poetic, that he was falling into icy terrain where no one would ever be able to find him. As his stomach flew into his throat, he kept his eyes ahead.

At least they would remember his name. Captain America, the no-longer-living legend who sacrificed himself to save his country. He would be a hero.

He got up and, with a grim finality, laid down underneath a window, heart pounding.

But what about Bucky? What about the one who died too soon to fall with him? The one who laughed by his side and cried in his arms, whose heart beat with the same rhythm? What about the boy who saved Steve’s life, made him wake up in the morning, loved him every damn day with everything he had in him?

Steve closed his eyes and prayed they remembered the lover, not the fighter.

The plane hit the water.

-

He woke up in a hospital bed, baseball game on the radio. The familiar crackle caught him off guard, and his head jerked up as the door opened to a woman. She was so close to Peggy, so damn close he simply wanted to believe it was her, but his gut instinct was on high alert. A cheer came from the radio, but for some reason it sounded like the same cheer as in 1941, the one with Buck in the nosebleeds. It was almost right. Almost, which made it very, very wrong.

Steve jumped up and ran.

He ran out of the room, and he wasn’t in a hospital, but a giant warehouse with cords and beeps and whirring everywhere, and anyone who saw him seemed to jump, so he didn’t stop to look around. He just kept running, out the door and down the street until a sign caught his eye, the brightest pink he had ever seen. And as soon as he noticed that sign, another jumped out at him, then another, then another, until he was surrounded by bright colors and flashing lights and billboards miles high, and all Steve could do was turn in awe and fright as cars formed a circle around him.

They told him it was the future. He had made it.

Fate really was a bitch.

We’re goin’ to the future, pal. I love you.

Steve Rogers, who wasn’t supposed to get to twenty-five, was ninety-four years old.

But the boy who was supposed to take him there never made it to twenty-three.

[mistahf]

A Definitive Ranking of 61 Matches I Saw Wrestlemania Weekend

1.     DIY v The Revival v AOP

It says a lot about the quality of a match when even a terrible result doesn’t ruin it. 14,000 strong in The Amway Center chanting “bullshit” at the ending might sour this match for some, but it was still match of the weekend for me. Sure we all know wrestling is “fake,” but that doesn’t stop us from wanting our faves to have it all. DIY and The Revival are two of the most beloved tag teams in the past 5 years. The Authors of Pain are…well it works in about 100 different ways to say they’re “getting there.” The match started as it should have, two rivals with a mutual respect targeting the outsiders, the champions. Both to get them out of the way and to eliminate the biggest threat. Unfortunately, their rivalry, and The Revival’s natural tendency towards sneakiness, cost them the match. Great story, great spots (the suplex to the outside was insane), and, it turns out, a great goodbye for The Revival on NXT.

2.     Ricochet v Keith Lee

Honestly any Keith Lee match could have made this spot. This happened to be the first Keith Lee match I saw (ever), but I think it earns it’s spot as #2 on its own merit as well. Keith Lee dominated early on, as a dude of his size should, pulling out gradually more and more insane agility and aggression as Ricochet proved unpinnable. Ricochet, too, stepped up his game as the match progressed, hitting high spots with a speed rarely seen outside of, well, Ricochet matches. Little guys beating big guys clean are always hard to book, but Ricochet’s win here looked natural and believable.

3.     Donovan Dijak v Keith Lee

After seeing two great matches where Keith Lee took on little guys, it was great to see him take on “Tall Don,” as Dijak had branded himself in the previous match. I’ve always been a huge fan of Dijak’s work for a big man, but he pulled out all the stops here, stepping up his game, presumably in response to the insane buzz surrounding Keith Lee after his first 2 matches of the weekend. If you’ve never seen 2 guys over 260 pounds hit a Canadian Destroyer, it truly is a sight.

4.     Jericho v Kevin Owens

Jericho and Owens had the best story and rivalry going in to Wrestlemania, but few had them pegged for the best match. Their chemistry, which has shone since August, was especially great here, with each wrestler busting out crazy counters to each others’ moves. The Owens fingertip spot pumped up the whole crowd, and the finish seemed worthy of this match and feud.

5.     South Pacific Power Trip v Sami Calahan and Shane Strickland

I came into this weekend having never heard of the South Pacific Power Trip, but these two won over American audiences in a way comparable to the way Keith Lee did this weekend. This match was the kind of wild tag match that doesn’t usually work. Ref not paying attention to tags or legal men, seeming like a tornado match most of the time, but the insane amount of spots these 4 men were able to cram into their match made it worth it. If all clusterfuck tag matches were booked this well I’d stop complaining about who the legal man is and the ref’s slow or disregarded 5 count.

6.     Matt Riddle v Dan Severn

This match sounded ridiculous on paper. An MMA guy still new to pro wrestling versus a 58-year-old MMA guy who had a forgettable pro wrestling career in a pro wrestling match, all taking place after 2 am. Dan Severn, however, doesn’t take any challenge lightly and was up for this challenge. Worked MMA style matches can be extremely entertaining a la New Japan or dull exhibitions that lack the surprise of an actual MMA match, this was the latter, seeming more like an MMA match without any of the bullshit. Severn and Riddle both looked like champions, despite the odd crowd and late hour.

7.     AJ Styles v Shane McMahon

AJ fans had every right to be mad about this match. Perhaps the most over, most talented guy in the company versus the boss’s son, the guy who wrestles spotfests to greater and greater diminishing returns every event. What we got, though, was the best Wrestlemania opener since Wrestlemania 10 (the best PPV opener of all time btw). AJ got to be dominant for the most part, Shane got to bust out his best wrestling since his return, and we all got the result we, honestly, knew we were going to get.

8.     Zack Sabre Jr v Michael Elgin

I caught four Zack Sabre Jr matches last weekend, all great, but this one in particular really spoke to me. Big Mike came out ready to go, Zack, in his typical Extremely Chill style, was ready to meet his challenge. The beauty of ZSJ matches is how much damn sense it all makes, from the way he slowly pushes your leg down to get you on the ground to his subtle hand work when applying a hold. Big Mike answered all of Sabre’s attacks in typical Big Mike fashion, but ultimately the match made Zack’s victory make sense.

9.     Keith Lee v Lio Rush

Alright, this is the last time I talk about Keith Lee, I swear (I only caught 3 of his matches last weekend). Even though I had just seen Keith perform hours before (against a significantly better opponent) and knew exactly what he was capable of, Keith still made my jaw drop each time he hit the air. His second rope moonsault is a thing of beauty. Keith also added in a lot more heel work in this match than in his previous matches, which I loved. The soft-spoken Keith telling the brash Lio Rush to bask in his glory added the final puzzle piece to make Keith Lee a truly can’t-miss wrestler. This match suffered because it went a little shorter than the other two, and because once you’ve seen Keith Lee work Ricochet, can you really see Keith Lee work ANY other high-flyer?

10. Hardyz v Sheamus and Cesaro v The Club v Enzo and Cass

Sometimes the best surprises are the ones you see coming. The Hardyz were in Orlando. The tag title match had been awkwardly shoehorned into a ladder match at the last minute despite Cesaro, Sheamus, Enzo, Cass, Gallows, or Anderson having any history with ladders or high-flying acumen to speak of. Still, when New Day came out in their gear to announce a 4th team, I couldn’t tell if I was being worked, or worked into thinking I was being worked. Despite thinking it had a 60% chance of happening, I cheered the Hardyz return like it was a surprise. Matt and Jeff hit all of their moves perfectly, something I would never have believed 5 years ago, and most teams had a signature spot to shine.

11. HHH v Seth Rollins

WWE’s unique (and scary) blending of fact and fiction regarding Seth Rollins’ knee injury both going into and during this match made HHH’s knee-based offense during most of this match a little hard to watch. And I LOVED it for that. The endless pedigree reversals, Steph’s table spot, and their spectacular entrances (Trips, the King, with a motorcade; Seth, the Kingslayer, carrying a torch for his past wrongs) made sure the crowd was behind this long match, late in the show, 100%.

12. Darby Allin v Ethan Page

This seemed like an odd choice to main event the second evolve show of the evening, but once I saw all that these two had planned, I realized how impossible it would have been for anyone else to follow it. The buildup to this match was intriguing, but extremely awkward, when Priscilla Kelly (swoon) distracted Ethan Page the night prior while a group of clown medics in blood-stained garb carried out a bodybag. Unfortunately, the medics and body bag were quickly disposed of, but once Darby was revealed and attacked Ethan even after taking a beating, I got a glimpse of the heart I’d see the next night. This was a crazy spotfest with one main story. Darby Allin, as he stated the night before, won’t let Ethan Page take over Evolve “as long as [his] heart’s beating.” Allin took some incredible spots early in the match that reminded me of the best of Spike Dudley before eventually coming back (with the help of Austin Theory disposing of The Gatekeepers) with two huge dives of his own to defeat All Ego.

13. Nicole Matthews v Shotzi Blackheart

This match told a perfect story without any words. Nicole Matthews as the grizzled vet. Angry, defensive, and not ready to let anyone else take the attention she deserves, against Shotzi Blackheart, Shimmer’s Rise of the Phoenix (think Shimmer’s NXT) champion. Shotzi showed a lot of heart in her black heart, hanging with Matthews even when clearly outmatched, particularly by Matthews’ insanely stiff strikes. Nicole Matthews threw out the most impressive sounding chops I heard all weekend. And for me, that means a lot.

14. Zack Sabre Jr. v Mike Quackenbush

Zack Sabre Jr. was scheduled to meet Chikara’s extremely impressive big man Max Smashmaster on Saturday afternoon, but as soon as Zack hit the ring with a mic, I figured that wasn’t to be. While I wondered who would take on Zack, he got to the point quickly enough, saying he’d been friends with Chikara boss Mike Quackenbush, but was a little jealous that Drew Gulak got a match with him while he hadn’t yet. Quack and Zack had great chemistry in the ring, seemingly talking about each of their chain wrestling exchanges right after they had them. Despit being mostly retired for the past 3 years, Quack was still able to put on a great show with Zack, largely due to their mutual love for their particular style of wrestling.

15. Drew Galloway v Lio Rush

This match was a perfect clash of styles, the strong veteran Galloway against the brash highflyer Lio Rush. Galloway won a great match with an insane spinning Future Shock (made possible by the huge size difference between these two) followed by a piledriver, a move most in attendance had seen him do earlier in the weekend (see below) with disastrous results.

16. Zack Sabre Jr vs ACH

This was an incredibly unique match, and one that I worried might disappoint a little, particularly because I’d been up since 5:30 and it was nearing 11 pm. However, Zack and ACH put on a decent match and kept me entertained. The only big problem with this match is that I never really believed ACH was going to go over.

17. Jimmy Havoc v Zack Sabre Jr

This match opened up the sold-out Progress show Friday afternoon, and these two did not disappoint the 1200 in attendance after a much maligned delay to the show. Havoc probably worked Zack’s style with him better than anyone, while also throwing in his own, harder hitting style, which busted open the busy Zack Sabre Jr so bad that the wound re-opened 4 hours later in this match with Michael Elgin.

18. Pete Dunne v Mark Haskins

Pete Dunne. Coming into this weekend, I was most excited to see him work for the first time than anyone else, becoming obsessed with his bloodthirsty style in the UK Tournament. Dunne didn’t disappoint here, giving Haskins all the underhanded, wonderful stuff I came to love from The Bruiserweight. Haskins, for his part, hung in incredibly well with Dunne, playing the underdog role perfectly and getting some convincing enough nearfalls that by the end of the match I’d stopped cheering the Bruiswerweight and opted for the plucky face.

19. Spring Break Clusterfuck

Given that I was unfamiliar with a lot of the talent signed for this match, that the rules for this match weren’t made clear beforehand, and that some of the other talent hadn’t wrestled, at least in the public eye, in years, I had no idea what to expect from this match. Fortunately, what I got was an entertaining as hell match with some promising new talent, a great showing by Glacier, and, believe it or not, a great story, which was set up in what I thought was just a funny throwaway video before the event. Jimmy Lloyd took the win, but All Ego Ethan Page was the star of the match.

20. Ginny v Toni Storm

I didn’t know anything about the women of Progress going into this match, but within 3 minutes of the match starting I knew what I needed to know. Toni Storm was strong as hell and wanted to throw Ginny around as much as she could. Ginny, despite being a fashionista, had a terrible attitude and some great kicks. This match played itself out as a great clash between those two styles, and Ginny winning with her feet on the ropes was a fantastic heel move, the quality of which is rarely seen.

21. Bayley v Charlotte v Sasha v Nia

The best part about this match was the opening spot, in which Bayley, Charlotte, and Sasha, who had clearly seen the Revival/AoP/DIY match and knew that the only way to continue on was to eliminate Nia first. I thought that once this was over, 3 of the 4 horsewomen would have a triangle elimination match for the ages. Instead, the three were rushed through two quick, uneventful falls where the finishes seemed to come out of nowhere. The fast paced nature of the match still gave Charlotte and Bayley time to shine, but why book a 4-way if you’re only going to feature two women?

22. Matt Riddle vs Drew Galloway

Evolve 80 started out with a piledriver through a table. The rest of the match was, as it should have been, fast, violent, and honestly pretty one-sided. Galloway looked strong here, and it gave Riddle a bit of an edge I hadn’t seen him have before, but seeing Riddle work 3 more matches (and knowing he worked way more) days and even hours after the table spot took a lot of the shine off of it.

23. Mike and Don v Yehi and Williams

When this match started I thought “how the hell are they going to book themselves out of this one,” since it seemed impossible that Big Mike and Tall Don could lose to Evolve darlings Catch Point. I almost thought we might get a title change, but ultimately Catch Point won the way that tag teams should, by being a tag team and out teamworking their bigger, stronger opponents.

24. Eddie Kingston v Matt Tremont

There was color in this match within 3 minutes, brother, along with a plastic fork and table spots. This match was a pitch perfect study in how hardcore wrestling should work. It was bloody, it was real, and both wrestlers looked very tough.

25. Joey Janela v Marty Jannetty

I was VERY nervous going into this match. What was Marty going to look like? How embarrassing was it going to be to watch? Fortunately Marty didn’t look terrible and the match was the fun kind of overbooked mess that made it incredibly entertaining to watch.

26. Goldberg v Brock Lesnar

These two did what they had to. It wasn’t 90 seconds. It wasn’t 20 minutes. It was 4+ minutes of unlimited signature and special moves. It was the match we deserved 13 years ago. I’m still mad it was for a title.

27. Dulce Garcia v KellyAnne

As far as I know there wasn’t any history between these two women, but they soon made the decision to turn their match into a grudge match, taking the action to the floor and connecting with stiff chops that absolutely lit up Dulce’s chest. I loved the speed and aggression these two worked with. Garcia winning with rolling suplexes was awesome.

28. Tyler Bate v Mark Andrews

Tyler Bate, more than the other two members of British Strong Style, found himself in a less than ideal situation at the Progress show, cheered by American fans who know the whitebread UK Champion babyface Tyler rather than the heel BSS Tyler he portrays in Progress. Fortunately, putting him up against Mark Andrews, one of the best faces in wrestling, helped. This match was great, Tyler’s airplane spin is so incredibly over and fun to see live.

29. Asuka v Ember Moon

This match was disappointing, but it’s clear that it was supposed to be. While I was expecting a coronation for Ember, it’s clear that this match instead was put on to keep both women strong and (hopefully finally) turn Asuka heel. Asuka has, in my opinion, clearly been a heel since her match with Mickie in November, but her astounding charisma and strong booking has kept the fans intrigued. Hopefully NXT can fully commit to a heel Asuka.

30. Undertaker v Roman Reigns

I can’t decide if this match is where it should be, belongs lower due to the match quality, or belongs higher due to it’s implications. Undertaker is one of my top 5 favorite wrestlers of all time, so I can’t be unbiased. Seeing Undertaker retire was bittersweet, I was happy I got to be there, sad I won’t see him again, happy for him to finally be able to rest, sad that he wasn’t able to go out with a better match, etc. Honestly if Roman goes heel I think the whole thing might be worth it, he’ll make Vince so much damn money as a bad guy and hopefully the Dead Man doesn’t become a Stone Cold, Ric Flair, or Shawn Michaels, showing back up so often that it doesn’t mean anything any more.

31. Candice LaRae v Mercedes Martinez

I hadn’t seen much Shimmer recently, but damn The Trifecta are awesome. Nicole Savoy is an incredibly talented wrestler turned incredibly talented manager during her injury. Candice is an incredible babyface in peril, and although going in I didn’t think we had much chance of seeing a title change, there were a few near falls here where I thought it was going to happen. In the end Mercedes got the win as expected, but this match kept me in suspense way more than I expected.

32. Matt Riddle v Fred Yehi

Not following Evolve regularly, I didn’t care much about the Catch Point rivalry story, but damn did these two have a great match. Mania weekend made me a huge Matt Riddle fan, and Fred Yehi is a great worker. This match didn’t need a story to rule.

33. Cherry Bomb v Alex Windsor

Allie is an incredibly likable babyface on Impact Wrestling, so seeing her work heel twice Mania weekend was a damn revelation. Cherry Bomb was wonderful in the opener to the Shimmer show, having the cocky character, in-ring banter, and talent to get a crowd, even one who might have otherwise been prepared to cheer her, to boo her. Alex Windsor looked strong in this match too, but Cherry’s heel antics really stole the show.

34. 6 Way Womens Match

This match really was booked for one reason, to get Naomi the big hometown win. I loved seeing her get it, I loved seeing her use the anaconda vice. While all 6 Smackdown women deserved a Wrestlemania match, there wasn’t quite enough time to properly feature everyone.

35. Aleister Black v Andrade Cien Almas

This match was exactly what we needed from Aleister Black. We got to see a great entrance (and great theme) from him, got introduced to his creepy, gothic charisma, and got to see his great Muay Thai strikes. Andrade Cien Almas is a fantastic heel who I hope never gets lost in the shuffle.

36. Mt. Tessa v Kay Lee Ray and Mia Yim

I loved the story of this match. Tessa Blanchard and Vanessa Kraven got into it halfway through the match after an accidental hit was followed by a hit on purpose to almost give Kay Lee and Mia the belts in the best near-fall of all the WWN shows. Mia and Kay Lee Ray are incredibly likeable babyfaces, while Tessa Blanchard is an absolutely brilliant heel. Did I spend a lot of this match fantasy booking Vanessa Kraven (or someone of a similar stature) running roughshod over 205 Live? Yes I did. If you’re doing that too, you’re welcome.

37. Sanity v Ty Dillinger, Ruby Riot, Kassius Ohno, and Roderick Strong

While I think we all wanted to see Ty Dillinger’s first big win (can you believe we’ve been waiting 2 years for that?), a good debut for Kassius and Ruby, and more good things for Roderick Strong until they actually come up with something for him, I do have to say that Sanity winning here made sense. Teams should always beat non-teams.

38. Bobby Roode v Shinsuke Nakamura

Talking about this match with someone beforehand we said “well, the entrances are going to be great, and Bobby Roode knows how to tell a story.” Both of those things were true. I find Bobby and Shinsuke to have absolutely no chemistry, so it was interesting to see what they could accomplish using WWE booking. The near falls were great, the moments were great, Kenny Omega was absolutely correct in calling this a 3-star match. I’m excited to see Shinsuke move on and Bobby to hopefully find an opponent more suited for him (I think Bobby and Kassius Ohno could have some great matches).

39. Catch Point v Kincaid, Theory, Guevara

Jason Kincaid quickly became one of my favorite wrestlers at the Evolve show. I loved his unique look, weird mountain yogi gimmick, and his ring work to back it up. Unfortunately, teaming him with what seemed like 2 people at random against an established team like Catch Point made for a lot of great high spots, but didn’t make the most sense overall.

40. Sami Calahan v Kyle The Beast

I think Solomon Crowe did a lot to turn me on Sami Calahan, all of his work Mania weekend, though, got me back on the Calahan train. Sami has an incredible energy in the ring and Kyle The Beast was able to match it full force. Sami put over Kyle after the match in an unexpected show of respect.

41. Matt Riddle v Trent Seven

Trent Seven got to be the only purely booed member of British Strong Style at the Progress show by taking on the incredibly characmatic Matt Riddle. These two put on a great showcase of “Big Lads Wrestling.”

42. Los Ice Creams v Solo Darling and Travis Huckabee v Hallowicked and Frightmare v Silver and Fire Ant

This match was fun, even if the result was a little predictable. Los Ice Creams’ humor doesn’t always translate watching online, but either these two were on their game or they’re much funnier live. Solo Darling as a sugar-obsessed maniac trying to eat Los Ice Creams and missing an opportunity for a tag to eat skittles was great too.

43. Leva Bates v Lufisto

Leva Bates came out as Tina Belcher and seemed to wrestle the entire match in character, even as her wig started to fall off halfway through the match. True to character, Leva used a lot of butt-based offense during the match, but was ultimately overpowered by an awesome heel Lufisto.

44. Jason Kincaid vs Lio Rush vs Jaka

I was intrigued by the singles match that was booked, but Lio Rush added a lot to it. The showy Lio Rush and nothing-but-business Jaka fed off Jason Kincaid’s weirdo character well.

45. Shayna Baszler v Santana Garrett

Shayna Baszler rules. I loved seeing an MMA-inspired offense in a women’s match, particularly on an all-womens show. Santana Garrett put up a good fight, but seeing her go down to Shayna (and props again to the charismatic Nicole Savoy as Shayna’s manager) seemed like a foregone conclusion.

46. Samantha Heights vs Veda Scott vs Britt Baker vs Nevaeh

This was a fun four-corners match. Veda Scott, as usual, excelled in in-ring chatter, asking her opponents to take it easy on her given that she very publically chipped a few teeth 2 nights earlier at Joey Janela’s Spring Break. Britt Baker looked like an incredibly strong face in this win, her Shimmer Debut.

47. Braxton Sutter and Allie v Andy Williams and Penelope Ford

Braxton Sutter and Allie were incredible heels in this match, immediately getting over their opponents of non-wrestler Andy Williams and Penelope Ford, who has a lot of cool moves, but needs some development as far as putting them together. This was an incredibly fun tag match, made even more fun by being intergender, rather than mixed tag. After the match the guy sitting next to me agreed: We want to see more Andy Williams in the ring.

48. Timothy Thatcher v Chris Dickinson

These two wrestled a very similar, physical, style that was nice to see in complement to each other. Kind of was booked in a death slot right after Galloway piledrove Matt Riddle through a table.

49. ACH v Timothy Thatcher

Poor Timmy Thatcher, this was his second match booked in an absolute death slot, having to follow Keith Lee vs Donovan Dijak. I’m sure I’d enjoy a Timothy Thatcher match a lot more if it were booked in a good slot.

50. The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

I don’t like Battle Royals, I didn’t like even more that crowd favorites Sami Zayn and Luke Harper were eliminated without much incident. While the end result was predictable when we got to the final six or so, seeing Rob Gronkowski get involved (and the crowd reaction to him getting involved) was a lot of fun.

51. Black, Blonde, and Neon v The Gatekeepers

A great squash match. The Gatekeepers rule in matches like this.

52. James Drake v Rockstar Spud

Chanting “He’s got his own face, on his ass” was the highlight of this match. Rockstar Spud is incredibly charismatic, but it didn’t seem to come off too well in this match.

53. Jesicka Havok v Cat Power

This was a really fun, hard hitting match between two tough women and was a great example of the variety a Shimmer show can give you. My big complaint was that Havok was both much bigger than her opponent and a face, but Cat Power worked her over most of the match without using any underhanded tactics.

54. Dean Ambrose v Baron Corbin

I’m not sure if these two had a generic Smackdown match because they were on the preshow or if they were moved to the preshow because they had planned a boring Smackdown match. After what he said about last year’s Mania fiasco, I expected Dean Ambrose to bring something great to this match. He didn’t. The end sequence was good, but it didn’t make up for this match.

55. John Cena and Nikki Bella v The Miz and Maryse

I know, I know. It’s not about the match, it’s about the moment after. Still, as a huge fan of everything Cena and Miz have done in 2016 and 2017, this match was a damn disappointment.

56. Sea Stars and Obariyon v Sea Monsters

What was, for most people, the 8th of 10 shows at the WWN live center, the Chikara show really suffered a lot. Sea Stars and Obariyon opened the show up against the Sea Monsters, with the face team working really hard, but the match suffered from the crowd fatigue.

57. Missile Assault Man v Kobald

Missile Assualt Man is a great wrestler, but honestly he needs to go back under a mask. He radiated charisma as Missile Assault Ant, but needs to work on his facial expressions outside of it.

58. Wani v Space Monkey

This match had some fun moments, but the end of the match and title change really seemed to come out of nowhere. Also if Wani is using some sort of “mysterious foreigner” gimmick, why are all of his moves just American indie moves?

59. Ophidian v Jeremy Leary

Jeremy Leary showed some good heel energy, but I felt like there was an aspect of his gimmick I didn’t really get. The end of this match was very confusing, with Ophidian using his trademark snake hypnosis and it for some reason not working on Jeremy, it was never explained why.

60. All Ego Ethan Page v Austin Theory

Not knowing much about Evolve before the match, I saw this as a squash match immediately following The Gatekeeper’s squash match. This one wasn’t as fun.

61. Bray Wyatt v Randy Orton

The projection stuff was kind of cool, I guess, but with the exception of that every aspect of this match disappointed me, including the lackluster entrances for both men. I probably came into this match expecting too much (given Randy’s past Mania matches and Bray’s recent work I thought this had the potential for match of the night).

 Matches I missed:

Ultramantis Black vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado:

I had to leave Chikara (which started late) early in order to make it to the Amway Center in time for NXT (and to see the taped matches before the show). Honestly only the last taping match was worth it so I should have waited.

Austin Aries vs. Neville

You try getting to wrangling your sister, her husband, and your 2-year-old niece to Wrestlemania on time. Also I went into this assuming there would only be two pre-show matches, so one wouldn’t start before 6 pm.

Most of the Andre the Giant Invitational:

But I watched it on the Network getting in and caught the last half so I’m counting it as seen.

Matches I’m not counting (But am counting toward my Wrestler Seen count):

Pre-NXT Takeover tapings: Honestly these were 3 pretty boring matches, the pre Takeover tapings are never anything to write home about.

Post-NXT Takeover tapings: These are TV Tapings, because of that there’s a lot of squash matches, feud building, etc. Ranking these matches alongside these matches, most of which had a big-event feel, would be unfair.