#the ferrari dream never dies no matter how many hearts it breaks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

someone-worth-racing-for · 4 years ago

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You know when some girlfriends/boyfriends are a bit insecure and they’re in a long distance relationship and they get a little anxious when their partner took some time to answer their texts or to call them back? They will say things like “why you didn’t text me back?” or “why you took so long?” or even “were you with someone else?” I know it’s not healthy for a relationship, but sometimes people are just too hurt about a past they had or too insecure. Sometimes it’s really bad for real. Would you consider writing something that shows Lando being like this with Carlos? Set around the time Carlos was already in Italy and had to spend a lot of time with the Ferrari team and Lando would understand this, but at night when he thought he would have Carlos’s attention, he didn’t. Some evenings he didn’t have a text back, but that was because Carlos was working late with the team and his phone died off, something along this. But Lando being insecure, he would freak out with his boyfriend in the next day.

Yeah, I exactly know what you mean, anonym - haven’t we all been there once? Or at least haven't we asked ourselves those questions at least once, when someone didn’t answer instantly? I can so picture Lando to be that way, even without wanting so and also actually exactly knowing that it was “wrong”, because he has no reason to feel this way with Carlos, but still he does and gives himself more trouble than necessary with it.

I have written a little story to it - I hope you will like how it turned out in the end 🤗

Thanks for the inspiration! ❤️

Irreplaceable

This was definitely the part of being a Scuderia Ferrari driver Carlos hated. It wasn’t like he had done it on purpose to break his promise once again, to postpone their date night again, to take another night shift at the factory or that his phone had died off at some point during the evening, before he could inform his boyfriend about anything of it.

It wasn’t like he could ask someone to borrow him their phone, so he could call Lando and break so his already tattered heart into a million pieces with telling him that they also won’t be able to spend this evening together like he had actually promised him this morning, because no one knew about them being a couple.

The Spaniard had tried to stay focus the whole time long at the factory, but thinking about his boyfriend, sitting there all alone in his house back in the UK and waiting for him to finally call him, after they hadn’t been able to talk properly to each other the other day and also not the day before, broke Carlos’ heart as well and he felt like he was the worst boyfriend ever.

He was so sorry about how things had turned out lately between them since he had moved to Italy. Carlos, actually they both, had been aware about that things won’t be easy for them and for their relationship, but still it had turned out to be even more challenging and harder than they had even dared to think about.

With Carlos, Lando had his first relationship with, not only with another man but also in general. So the Spaniard was aware about that the younger one never had it easy since they were together with everything being so new to him, also not in the beginning, when their relationship was still developing back then, but Lando had got used pretty quickly to always have him around, to always have him close whenever he needed him in a weak moment, but now this close and also kind of clingy relationship had turned into a long-distance one and even when it hadn’t already been easy for Lando before, Carlos couldn’t even imagine how difficult it had to be for him right now.

Lando needed him in so many ways and it just broke the Spaniard’s heart to know, that he won’t be able to pull him close tonight, show him how much he loved and adored him and how important he was for him as well. When his work for today will finally be done, he will have to come back home to an empty, quiet flat, while the young Brit probably cried his eyes out in desperation miles and miles away from here.

Carlos was everything Lando had in that regard, because no one had a clue about them being a couple. He couldn’t talk with anyone else about it or how he felt. Why he was so insecure, thoughtful, even anxious all the time. Why he always felt so lonely.

By the time Carlos was finally able to plug his phone into the charger at home, he was breathless from running all the way from his car up to his flat, taking three stairs at once and making himself the biggest guilty conscience ever.

The few minutes he had to wait, till he was able to turn on his phone again, he wandered all nervously and worrying up and down his place, before he decided to use the time and take a quick shower. Also because he would have probably become insane if he had kept on like that.

When he was finally able to turn on his phone, it got instantly floated with plenty of missed calls and even more unread messages. All together he counted eight missed calls, all from his boyfriend and twelve unread messages, where especially three gave him chills

“Why you don’t text me back?”

Carlos knew that Lando was afraid about that he will forget about him once he will be in Italy. About that he will start to find him annoying with all those messages he will write him, with all these calls every evening, with all the attention he will need, even more now that Carlos will be gone. That he will become that frustrated about having such a clingy boyfriend that he will simply stop to text him back at one point.

“Why you take so long?”

Lando was worried about that Ferrari will become more important for his boyfriend than he, even when Carlos had already promised him so often that he will always stay the centre of his life, no matter what. Yes, this chance here with Ferrari was important for him as well, but he would never leave the younger one behind only to follow just one dream of him any more. Because Lando was his dream as well and he just couldn’t imagine a life where he couldn’t have both.

“Are you with someone else?”

That last message of his boyfriend made Carlos feel like he was the worst person ever, because he exactly knew that this right here was Lando’s biggest fear. He had always been afraid about, and sadly he also still was, to not be enough for him. The younger one was concerned about that his boyfriend could meet someone in Italy, someone so much prettier and better than him, that will show Carlos how blind he had been all the time to be together with someone like him.

And even when the Spaniard had told his boyfriend already so many, many times, that he really didn’t have to worry about that at all, because for Carlos he was the most beautiful, funniest, cutest, most adorable and loveable human on this planet, he could still see deep inside Lando’s eyes his fear about that Carlos could replace him so easily if he only wanted.

But for the Spaniard, Lando was perfect, everything he had never even dared to dream about and even more. Carlos felt so blessed and also proud about calling him his boyfriend, but Lando always thought so low of himself, his look-like, his being, his behaviour and also about his experiences and Carlos just hated it whenever he did so, because if Lando would see himself through his eyes, he would see how strong he actually was.

So much stronger than he was even aware about with his still so young age. How beautiful he was, in- and outside. How brave he actually was all the time and how proud he made Carlos with it, because he really knew that this all here wasn’t easy for him, but still Lando had not only agreed to first find out about what those feelings they had for each other really meant, but he had also supported Carlos in his decision to leave the team, when their relationship and everything that came with it was still pretty new and they both hadn’t known in which direction it was going.

Lando also had understanding with that the Spaniard will spend a lot of time with his new team at the factory in Italy at the beginning and also through the whole year. He had never complained about it, because he knew how important this was for the older one, but he had at least thought that the evenings will belong to them, that Carlos will be all his during the nights, but now everything had turned out different and it felt like the two of them weren’t even on the same planet any more.

With lightly shaking hands, because he was afraid about in which state his boyfriend will be, Carlos called his number and waited all impatiently for him to finally answer it. But he didn’t, not by his first try and also not by his fifth.

But the Spaniard was aware about that after an evening like this, Lando wasn’t able to find any rest. He was probably still crying his eyes out, while thinking about the worst possible scenarios.

Already all worriedly, Carlos tipped quickly a message into his phone, because he was concerned about that the younger one was maybe already close to a panic attack or maybe even worse. He wrote Lando to please answer his calls, because he just knew that he was still up and he needed to talk to him.

The Spaniard waited some endless moments, but his boyfriend didn’t try to call him and he also didn’t text him back. Carlos quickly checked the just-in-case, saved phone number of Adam Norris on his phone, because if he won’t be able to reach Lando in the next few minutes, he will have to call his boyfriend’s father, even when it would mean that they will find out so about their relationship with asking him to please look after his son, because he was so worried about him.

Carlos sure as hell won’t find any peace tonight if he won’t be able to reach Lando soon and make sure he was alright. But luckily it didn’t have to come that far, when after his unsuccessful FaceTime calls, the Spaniard tried to just call the younger one this time and Carlos’ heart almost stopped to beat, when he got it that his boyfriend had really accepted his call.

“Lando?” But Carlos wasn’t even surprised, when the other end of the line stayed quiet. But he knew that the younger one was listening, just still too upset to say anything yet. So he finally went on with the softest and most compassionate voice he could manage at this time of the night and with all his worries.

“Oh, mi corazon. I’m so, so sorry. I know it’s a bad excuse, but my phone died, I have forgotten my charger at home and everything has taken longer at the factory than I have expected it to be once again. I’m so damn sorry. It really hasn’t been my intention to make you worry so much. I know you have probably waited all evening long for me to finally call you back and answer your messages, but I promise you, I haven’t forgotten about you, not one second. You were actually all I was thinking about the whole time long. I just wanted to get back home, call you, see your pretty face, talk to you, watch a movie with you together, listen to your voice, watch you falling asleep. And believe me, I wasn’t with someone else, mi amor. I would never cheat on you, you exactly know that. There is no one out there I could ever love the same way as I love you. I know how you are feeling at the moment, but there is actually no reason for you to feel that way, mi corazon. No one will ever be able to replace you in my life, because I actually need you as much as you need me.”

No words came from the other end, but still Carlos knew Lando had listened to his words, because all quietly he could hear him cry into the phone. “Don’t cry, mi corazon. It’s okay, I’m finally here and I promise to be there for you now and I will even stay awake the whole night with you together if you want me to. I’m so sorry my little, precious boy.”

Carlos had to swallow down his own tears and the tight knot inside his throat, because he had to stay strong for his boyfriend and make him feel better with any cost, because Carlos himself had been the reason why he was in this state right now.

“I know I’m horrible.” It suddenly still came from Lando. It was actually only a quiet, almost inaudible whimper, but Carlos still caught it with already being trained to how his boyfriend’s voice did sound, when he was crying and sad.

“No, you are really not, mi corazon. If someone of the two of us is horrible, then it’s definitely me with breaking my promise once again. Don’t say things like that about yourself, while I’m actually so damn proud about you. I know that this all isn’t easy for you, mi corazon, but you are doing so well so far. Not everyone would do this, to stay right by my side and support me, even when it means for us being far away from each other and making so things even more complicated than they already were. You are not horrible, mi corazon and definitely also not weak. I know it’s still difficult for us, but we will get there, I promise. And now please stop crying, mi corazon. Stop thinking those things about yourself or about things that won’t ever happen anyway, because I won’t ever leave you. You and I belong together, no matter how many miles are between us. And in less than two days you will finally have me back and I will be all yours for the next few days and I won’t let you go for just one moment.”

“I miss you.” It came from Lando, still tortured and tired, but already less teary. “I also miss you like hell, mi corazon. I would give everything right now to cuddle with you, but I will make up for it all again, you will see. No one will ever be able to take me away from you for long, mi corazon. I’m all yours. Te amo la luz de mi vida.“

It needed some more soft, soothing words from the Spaniard to finally calm down his boyfriend through the phone, which always took longer and was more difficult, because Lando usually needed much body contact, especially when he wasn’t feeling good and needed some comfort.

But like already so many times before, Carlos somehow made it and finally dried those tears on the younger one’s cheeks, stopped his running nose and finally even managed a smile on Lando’s from the many tears swollen lips.

They both knew that it won’t be the last time for Lando to cry his eyes out while being all alone, missing his boyfriend and thinking about the worst possible things to happen, but it will become easier with time.

Lando was still so young, insecure and also inexperienced when it came to their relationship and everything that came with it, but Carlos will be patient, because he just loved Lando too much to give him up or what they had so easily. Even when it meant to repeat those words over and over again, till he will finally believe him, that he won’t forget about him, that he won’t ever replace him, neither with Ferrari nor with someone else, because Lando was irreplaceable for Carlos.

They will fight for what they have built up, together they will learn and find a way to be happy together, even with such a distance between them.

But what mean just a few miles, when it comes to the love of your life?

#Carlando #Carlando fanfiction #Fanfiction #carlos sainz jr #lando norris #carlos sainz

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