#the fact that you are seeing this is the biggest win btw

[etapereine]

i'll build a fire, you fetch the water

@cycleprompttuesday: "extra"

also on ao3

bring a pot of water to boil.

the window above the sink looks out across the lake toward the mountains, and you watch them as you wait for the pot to fill. there’s no snow, not yet, but already the air is cooler. already you keep your jacket on for your whole training ride, instead of shedding it as the sun rises high in the sky. tadej always laughs at you, when you come back with your nose turned pink from the cold. and they say you are made of ice, he jokes, before finding plenty of inventive ways to warm you up again.

it’s strange, perhaps unnerving, how easily you get used to it, to him. you think of your house in denmark, empty now in the winter. how did you ever survive the cold, before?

here, in your kitchen in switzerland, tadej hums along to the italian song that’s coming out of his phone as he tosses the salad. to set the mood, he says. you wonder how many glasses of wine it will take, to get him to start singing. you have the time tonight, to find out.

cook the pasta until al dente.

there is more pasta in the pot than the two of you can feasibly eat. there is bread on the counter, waiting to be sliced, and a whole bottle of wine that tadej picked out earlier in the afternoon. there is a pastry box, in the pantry. you remind yourself: the season is over. there are no dieticians here, no precise calculations of calories or kilograms or power outputs. when you ride, tomorrow, it will be a different kind of race. tadej will fly away from you, or you from him, but you will both laugh. he will try to kiss you, at the summit, and you will let him, but after you will glance around, mindful of anyone watching. you wonder, often, what it would be like to live the way he does, never afraid of anything at all.

here, as you wait for the pasta to cook, you can make it up to him. you are a good kisser, he makes that very clear. what is this for? he asks when you part for air. he is giggling, and you think it is the most glorious sound in the world.

peel and slice the garlic.

you watch tadej at work, deft fingers stripping away papery thin layers and making a mess all over your pristine counter. it is new, this thing where you cook together, train together, exist in each other's space together. half the drawers in your dresser have his clothes in them, and your spare toothbrush lives in his bathroom in monaco. at first, you had tried to hide from him how much it scares you - not the commitment, not him, but the potential disaster that comes with it. you can flirt with danger while speeding down a descent, but there are other hazards in the shadows that you cannot control with your bike, your legs, your own strength of will. he sees, of course, because he knows you. don’t hide from me, please? he had begged, and your fears aren’t so heavy, when you share them with someone else.

here, in the haze of steam coming up from the pasta pot, he flicks a bit of garlic peel in your direction as you wash your hands. you fling water back at him, and he shakes it off with a wide smile. it’s easy, in autumn, to remind yourself that this is something you can have.

sauté the garlic in olive oil.

tadej looks at the bottle. extra virgin, he says, and you can see the joke on his tongue before he tells it. he is good at making you blush, you have learned, but still you laugh in spite of yourself. he wiggles his eyebrow, tries to look sultry and alluring but only succeeds in looking ridiculous. you kiss him anyway, pulling him in by the front of his hoodie. the garlic crackles in the pan, and his hand trails up your back, under your tshirt. the knobs of your spine are less pronounced, now that the demands of the season are behind you, but his fingers trace them anyway, remembering each one. in madrid he had kissed each of your vertebrae in turn, after sneaking into your hotel room late at night, right under the nose of your team.

here, in the radiant heat of the stovetop, he dances his lips under your jaw and down your neck until you swat at him with the spatula. later, you say, half admonishment and half promise, unable to keep the fondness from your voice. he just laughs, and shakes his hips exaggeratedly as he turns away to set the table.

stir the pasta and cooking water into the garlic and olive oil.

the cashier at the grocery store had not blinked twice, when the two of you walked through. the other riders out on the roads recognize you, but they let you have your privacy, content with a wave and a smile. you like the quiet, and the time it allows you to take, away from the demands of the team and the sponsors and the races. you give the pasta a final stir as he refills the wine glasses. it is a sight just for you: tadej, outlined by the setting sun, preparing the table for a meal you will share together. during the season, you try not to look at him too much, all too aware of your feelings writ so obviously across your face. emotionless, they call you, but you are afraid every time that someone will see it in your eyes.

here, in the fading light of the sunset and the glow of the candles, you can look all you want. he smiles at you and you think: surely you must be struck down, for having dared to gaze on so much beauty. his foot tangles with yours under the table, then runs teasingly up your leg. a promise, for later.

you have the time, after all.

note: let the pasta rest before serving.

[missnxthingg]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - Once again, we have two parts! Hope you like this one as well and don't forget to go onto the next one 🧡

original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 2

yourusername

London, England

yourusername Someone hasn't been able to let go off her favourite uncle for the entire day. His biggest fan for sure! You all need to try hard to be as big as Ollie.

tagged: landonorris

landonorris founder of the fan club for sure

↪yourusername @.lnfour Ollie, are you admin now? ↪lnfour Yes, mommy! Took you too long to figure out ↪username1 I can't believe internet is free

username2 the content the entire LN4 nation has been waiting for 🧡

username3 it's olivia's world and we're just living in it

liked by the author

username4 Just the fact that he went back to their place instead of Monaco says a lot about his priorities

↪username5 y/n and olivia have been his biggest priority since forever

landonorris

landonorris After a win, a very deserved home time with my besties

tagged: yourusername

maxfewtrell Missing you three a little extra after this

↪yourusername Come have dinner with us, muppet

username1 Lando, I can't wait for you to be a dad

↪username2 duuuude, he'll be THE BEST daddy in the world ↪username3 can we please have him and y/n have a little baby? 🥺

username4 the prettiest family in the world fr

username5 y/n is so beautiful, i can't!

username6 Rest well, King! I'll be seeing you in Barcelona

yourusername My entire world! 💖 I had the best weekend with my besties

like by the author

yoursername added to their stories

Caption: España, you're so fucking hotttt! 🔥

landonorris

Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

landonorris POOOOOOLE POSITION!! Good to be back. ☝️

mclaren That's our boy!

username1 Lando domination could bore fans

yourusername LFG!!!!!

liked by the author

username2 a win and now this? fuck yes!

username3 Lando P1!!!

yourusername added to their stories

Caption: Not the way we wanted the weekend to end, but we carry on. Always together 🧡 P2 for this baby here, btw! Thank you, Barcelona

↪landonorris replied to your story: Cuuuuute ↪landonorris: I love you, muppet

landopriv

Monaco, Monte Carlo

landopriv Through thick and thin ❤ she makes me the happiest

tagged: yourprivusername

yourprivusername cuuuuute

yourprivusername hard launch?

ciscanorris1 I think I'm missed a few episodes, bro

maxfewtrell Text me

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

[fev3rish]

hellaur wife kenji sato fic and acc recs PLEASE MWAH MWAH MWAH 🤗🤗🤗

VIC’S FAVS ! kenji sato x reader

hiiii wifey<3 i know exactly who sent this. she’s a newer addition to the fandom and it is my duty to help her adjust 😇 this is a complete YAPATHON. by the way. i LOVE using any given oppurtunity i have to compliment writers because it’s like a win win situation to me. i get noticed by a cool writer and the writer knows someone enjoys their work like what thats so coolio

overall recommendations . . .

@luneariaa -> stepping into her account is like stepping into another dimension. i remember skimming through the kenji sato x reader tag while i was first settling into the fandom—before i was a writer myself—and they were one of the first writers i saw. their whole aesthetic and the way they format their writing, the way they write in general, is so beautiful and she’s such an underrated writer in the community! im also obsessed with their account theme it’s like a living visual stimboard on my phone. how do u do those silly little gif videos bby. im like one of ur biggest fans please notice me oh mg god pls PLEASE NOTICE ME PLEASE HAVE DINNER EITH ME PLEASE PLEASE (does a handstand) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

@yzzart -> my inspiration hello 🙏 she’s the reason i actually started writing for ultraman! her kenji boyfriend headcanons were the first things that caught my attention, and it sparked a bunch of will to write in me. she lowkey got me out of a writing block that lasted almost one year and im forever thankful for her beautiful existence 💗 her usage of vocabulary is IMPRESSIVE. i don’t usually have to google the meanings of words but the first time i ever did was when i read her writing and i mean that in the most positive way possible. it is ALWAYS a green flag when a writer uses big words and uses them right. her writing prowess is EVIDENT. and she deserves every nice word people say about her she is such a GORGEOUS girl

@reyalvr -> my friend who doesnt know shes my friend btw. we both went through the avatar -> ultraman pipeline and i think its so funny ?? i distinctly remember reading her ao’nung fics and eating them up ALL the time. when i discovered her again, i was like “oh! that username seems familiar?” and it’s kind of peculiar because while i do remember reading her writing back when i was still @/victoirey, and enjoying it because she devoured everytime, i don’t know if she’s had the same username for like forever? i digress! whatever it is, her writing always has me hooked. like i physically CANNOT stop reading. it put me in this trance like state and im like so “woah!” when i experience it because usually i can’t sit still. she deserves all the hype shes gotten; her writing is the closest thing to perfect, everything about it is entrancing. from the storyline to the dialogue, it all just falls into place. the only thing that isn’t perfect, is the fact that it ends. like why cant u just like write forever boo… come on😡💗

@mitskicain -> i have her most recent works in my read later list. her previous twoshot lowkey had me all giggly! i kicked my feet while reading and i accidentally stubbed my toe onto the nearby table but the story was so great it quelled my pain immediately. she’s such a good writer and i LOVE her characterization of kenji like it genuinely makes me blush so hard. also her username? is that a reference to ethel cain in it? …if u see this, i love ethel cain. my fav song is unpunishable. ure so cool. also her blog is like so … how do i say, like organized? like she has a way of making everything fit and fall into place . literally even if its a MEME. she’ll make it fall into place because thats judt how skilled she is. also batter up is such a clever name idk why im so impressed whenever i see it on ur blog im like “woh. batter up….. name nice. i love the name kween” but overall shes SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD AUFH

my fav fics . . .

ultraman, ultrafine, ultramine ; “kenji sato, the man that you are.” / WORD? i fucking love this twoshot its so GOD ugh i gush everytime i read it user mitskicain you are so GOOD

cutely written by @mitskicain

when i was led to you … ; “kenji could get used to his routine, but, only with you by his side.” / grrrrrr grrrrr i 😡😡😡 punchign wall!!1! so good. always so good ysa

gorgeously written by @yzzart

she’s mine ; “catch me, i’ve fallen in love for the first time.” / me after entering the kenji sato characterization competition, seeing user reyalvr and user mitskicain: 🚪🚶‍♀️ so FUCKING YUMMY

extraordinarily written by @reyalvr

piece of art ; aka kenji and u go to the museum / my honest reaction:

flawlessly written by @luneariaa

mommys here ; reader takes the role of pretty baby emi’s mother🥺 / i haven’t read this in full yet, but from the first few paragraphs i already know its a good story!! I am literally so attracted to this authors writing style for some reason like wow…. beautifully written by @kiwiikato

kenji & baseball!critic reader ; okay so its not really a fic think of it as me recommending you a trailer for a movie im really excited to see because i LURK. and I LURK ON THIS BABES ACCOUNT AND IM READIN WHEN U LEAST EXPECT IT 👀 writing style is flawless, by the way, baby. you’re such a starling .

wonderfully written by @rieamena

labor of love ; I FUCKING LOVE KENJI SATO AUTHORS😭😭/ read this today and i went 🙏 . my hands clasped together in prayer. literally thank you god. i love this so much. spectacularly written by @jinwoosungs

that’s it from me my loves, if you actually did read this—thank you? that’s sweet? gimme a big ol kiss? and i hope you know that whether or not you’re on this list literally all you need to do if you want to get your works out there is send me an ASK and i will literally edit this post and add my fav work from you i will literally do it. to the authors i included and to the others i didn’t, your efforts are seen and appreciated. i know it is hard to write stories and it is so impressive that you’ve written in the first place. you are all so talented, and i just wanted to remind you of that fact<3

💋 kisses, v <3

[sssilverstoned]

memory lane ꩜ ln4

type: instagram/twitter au

A trip through time as everyone's favorite kids in love grew up.

lily said: back to back ahhhh! hopefully part three tomorrow. wanting to get this out asap bc I’ve been stewing over posting for so long! glad you all enjoy :)

also, i think I’ll be opening requests soon, but please feel free to inbox me anything you’d be interested in seeing <3

part 1

Liked by yourbestfriend, yourusername, and 32,619 others

landonorris Happy birthday y/n! #19

maxfewtrell Happy birthday y/n/n!

yourusername thank yaaaa maxy!

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Liked by yourbestfriend, maxfewtrell, and 93,679 others

yourusername Happy birthday Lando! Welcome to 19 :)

yourbestfriend Dawwww so cute

landonorris Thank you! Love you old lady

yourbestfriend it's only 8 months difference between you two????? yourusername he's so annoying landonorris hey. It's my birthday

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Liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, and 300,991 others

landonorris y/n's sleeping through her 20th birthday so I'm here to post about it in case she misses it.

user1 long neck ass

user2 facts. but hbd y/n 💯

danielricciardo quite the angle here, how long is your arm?

yourbestfriend Slaying while sleeping, love her

yourusername I try

yourusername: So this is how we're doing 20?

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Liked by kaiagerber, romeobeckham, and 688,142 others

user1 BAHAHAHA is this payback from your birthday??

user2 omg they're so aggravating 😭 favs fr user3 posting this with absolutely no caption on his bday is so funny

yourbestfriend the biggest little shit to ever walk the earth

landonorris aw thanks for the birthday wish x

landonorris: Love you too baby

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Liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 411,997 others

landonorris Happy 21 my love! Wait for me so we can club together in NYC finally like we always said #cradlerobber

user1 CRADLE ROBBER

yourusername The club awaits!

carlossainz55 happy birthday y/n/n!

yourusername thank you carlosssssss! landonorris too many s's for my liking

yourbestfriend wait is this in my house??

yourusername nothings broken. trust

user2 this photo is so chaotic

user3 him constantly calling her old like SIR

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Liked by kendalljenner, lewishamilton, and 700,817 others

yourusername Cheers baby! 21 21 21

landonorris Head's spinning still

yourusername So I'm "old" AND I hold liquor better? Pick a struggle

maxfewtrell Mate she's winning this round landonorris Always does

user1 oh this is cuteeee

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Liked by pierregasly, alex_albon, and 800,131 others

landonorris 22. Hope it's the best one yet

user1 so cozy so domestic omg

user2 dating for 3 years, 30 years, same thing

user3 awwww he's wearing the bracelets she made him for their anni

yourusername Lovessss ya

yourusername Was very surprised I will admit you got me good

user4 THIS WAS A SURPRISE? user5 This man flew across the globe so he wouldn't miss her birthday...my word

charles_leclerc: He almost missed his plane back btw

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Liked by lirisaw, yourbestfriend, and 900,878 others

yourusername Scorpios, you've got to love them #22 #CradleHasBeenRobbed

user1 color coordinated suits...every post you make me even more bitter

user2 the loving look in their eyes...can't wait for the 79th bday posts

user3 right im here for the long haul!

lilymhe you all will never stop this joke

yourusername he started it!! lilymhe and yet you have not ended it landonorris she's older than me, this is a fact

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[whyse7vn]

BABY FEVER -

[ ot7 x reader ]

TAEHYUNG -

tae: have my cubs

y/n: STOP TALKING TO ME NOW

tae: i want 8

y/n: i’ve actually never been so srs in my life

let’s break up

like fr

i’m over this relationship i’m over you

tae: i can settle for 5 if it’s too much

y/n: let’s settle for a break up

tae: our little family 🥺

y/n: i would rather shoot myself

tae: why?

y/n: WHY?

are you really asking my why rn?

tae: yeah??

y/n: “have my cubs”

tae: i can’t get pregnant what is wrong with you

someone didn’t go to school 😭😭

y/n: who in their right mind says shit like that

tae: me??

y/n: stop talking to me

tae: babe

i’m being for real

y/n: i know

and i’m scared

tae: don’t be scared

i’ll protect you

and the kids

real alpha i am

y/n: stop

tae: are you getting emotional?

omg are you pregnant rn?????

hormones and that stuff?

is that what you wanted to say this whole time??

were you trying to hide it from me??

ur so cute >.<

y/n: i’m blocking you now

tae: we are gonna get through this together

do you think we need a bigger house?

y/n: genuinely are you ok in the head?

tae: ofc wtf??

i know ur not because of the pregnancy

but it’s okay

you don’t need to stress at all

i’ll think for the both of us

the love of ur life taetae be the sane one for the next 6 months

y/n: there is so much to unpack there

tae: omg have you been clothes shopping without me >.<

y/n: i am perfectly fine

you and sane don’t belong in the same sentence

never call yourself taetae again

and it’s 9 months not 6 you fucking idiot

tae: what is ur actual problem??

don’t swear around my child you’ll poison their mind

and i think i know more about babies than you do so just leave everything to me ok?

y/n: again i would rather shoot myself

tae: if you die i’ll protect the baby

y/n: there is no baby

tae: are you not ready to be a mother or something?

i swear we can do this babe

y/n: are you actually listening to me??

tae: ofc i am??

y/n: …

tae: i’m omw home btw can’t wait to see you both!!!!!!!

y/n: it’s like you only take in the information you want to hear

tae: i love you too

y/n: or maybe you just can’t read

tae: <333333333

YOONGI -

yoongi: no

y/n: i don’t like when you read my mind like that

yoongi: no

y/n: i’m gonna ask anyways

yoongi: no

y/n: let’s have a baby 😁🙏🏽

yoongi: no

y/n: if we don’t have a baby now ur gonna be an old dad

ur gonna die before our baby turns 10

we don’t want that do we?

think of all the precious memories you’ll miss

yoongi: i’m fine with that

y/n: are you really?

yoongi: …

no

y/n: let’s have a baby rn

yoongi: but that’s so much work

y/n: #inittogether

our little baby made out of our love for each other

isn’t that sososoos cute yoongi 🥺

yoongi: i guess

y/n: so we’re having a baby?

yoongi: go away

y/n: ur not saying no

i’m taking this as a yes

i continue to win in this life

yoongi: what if you die before me

and i’m left with a baby?

y/n: the old thing really got to you huh?

yoongi: no i’m just saying you might die first

y/n: there is no way i’m dying first

ur literally 30

yoongi: and???

y/n: like jin is ur age mate that’s saying aLOT

yoongi: ur pissing me off

y/n: okay old bitch

yoongi: you expect me to have children with you after you bully me??

y/n: pls put me in ur will

i’m in jin’s yk?

yoongi: why are you in jin’s will?

y/n: why? mad ur not?

yoongi: how do you know i’m not

in his will?

matter of fact why tf does he have a will??

y/n: aren’t you an inquisitive one

yoongi: saying big words doesn’t make you look smart

y/n: jin knows it’s almost his time

you better start writing yours

yoongi: leaving everything to holly

y/n: i’ll literally cook holly

yoongi: what is wrong with you

y/n: i am not with child rn

that’s what’s wrong

yoongi: that sounded gross

never say that again

y/n: i’ve come to the conclusion that ur my biggest enemy

yoongi: i’m glad you know

y/n: ur dying

yoongi: ur next

y/n: don’t ever say that

i’m literally in my prime

yoongi: ur prime?

couldn’t tell

y/n: find someone else to carry your children

i can no longer stand the idea of mini yous running around

yoongi: ok :(

y/n: ??

don’t frown at me

you brought this on urself

yoongi: 😔

y/n: you bitch

yoongi: come make a baby with me 😄

NAMJOON -

y/n: let’s have a child

namjoon: ok

y/n: i lied

namjoon: oh

y/n: what is wrong with you

namjoon: what is wrong with you?

y/n: did adding a question mark make you feel better bitch??

namjoon: very

y/n: this is why i lie to you

namjoon: that’s not nice

y/n: ur literally a nasty little gaslighter

namjoon: i’m not?

y/n: you are?

namjoon: if anything ur the gaslighter

y/n: fake claims i’ll sue

namjoon: you tell me you want to have children and then you tell me ur lying or you never said that

y/n: what is ur actual issue i’ve never said i want kids??

if you want kids ig we can talk about it but i’ve literally never brought that up

namjoon: see?

y/n: i see very clearly actually 20/20 vision the eye people told me

namjoon: you wear glasses?

y/n: occasionally

like what is ur issue?

ur so obsessed with me it’s not right

namjoon: ig i’m a little obsessed

y/n: it’s really not right

wait…

don’t you fucking wear glasses

what is ur issue four eyes???

namjoon: i do

i’ve never claimed to have 20/20 vision

y/n: ur blind as hell

namjoon: maybe i don’t want to have kids with you

they fr won’t be able to see anything

y/n: HOW DARE YOU SAY YOI DONT WANT KIDS WITH ME

YOURE SICK IN TBE HEAD

namjoon: put ur glasses on

ur spelling stuff wrong

y/n: it’s my charm

namjoon: not wearing ur glasses?

y/n: we need to go on a break

namjoon: how can we go on a break when we have kids to take care of?

y/n: and you say ur not a gaslighter?

what if i was a weak woman and fell for ur sick lies

namjoon: we would have kids by now

y/n: ur messed up

that’s so messed up

namjoon: shoot me

y/n: don’t say stuff like that

cuz i will

then you’ll be mad

and dead

namjoon: what are you bothering me for?

y/n: can i not just message my bf like omg?

namjoon: you miss me or something?

y/n: not anymore

namjoon: cute

y/n: fuck ur cute

namjoon: accepting a compliment won’t kill you yk?

y/n: stop communicating with me

namjoon: you messaged me first?

y/n: no i didn’t

namjoon: whatever

y/n: omg don’t speak to me like you hate me i’ll kms

namjoon: so kids?

y/n: idk what ur on about tbh

namjoon: fine

y/n: fine

namjoon: fine?

y/n: fine?

namjoon: idk what you want from me

y/n: children

namjoon: you stop communicating with me

y/n: wow

namjoon: yeah

y/n: ur a LOSER

SEOKJIN -

jin: it’s time we reproduce

y/n: no

jin: no?

this would be a blessing to many

y/n: ok??

jin: ok?

i’ll just kms then

if you hate me just say that

y/n: i hate you

jin: what is ur problem???

y/n: what’s urs??

you told me to say it

jin: i said if you hate me

IF

y/n: ???

jin: oh my god

leave me alone

y/n: oh my god by gidle

jin: you have to stop speaking to hobi

y/n: why :(

jin: ur starting to talk like him

and it’s gross

the mother of my children a hoseok clone??

no thank you

y/n: what children??

jin: you need to keep up

we are having kids

y/n: but you said mother of your children

like as in you have kids rn

and last time i checked i never gave birth

who is this other woman seokjin???

jin: ew why would you say my full name like that

y/n: why would you cheat on me?

jin: bored?

y/n: all men are the same

jin: i am like no other man

y/n: true you dumb as hell

jin: now ur talking shit

y/n: maybe the shit talks you

jin: what

y/n: what

jin: can we make babies pls

y/n: ew

you actually make me wanna throw up

jin: wtf

this is why i don’t talk to you

y/n: you talk to me everyday?

in fact you loose ur mind if you don’t talk to me for more than 2 hours

jin: you literally have no proof

once again ur talking SHIT

y/n: don’t raise ur voice at me tf

jin: see you would be such a good mother

that’s such a parent thing to say

lowkey got me feeling a little hot and bothered rn 🙈

i’m sorry

you might need to put me in my place again mommy 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙉🙉🙉

y/n: what the fuck

jin: you’re not into it???

y/n: how can you go from talking about children to sex?

jin: don’t say that makes me sound like a perv

y/n: you are a perv

jin: no i’m not

ur just lame

like you need to have sex to have children

i was just helping start the process

y/n: you’ve got like a screw loose or something

jin: stop speaking to me in riddles

or don’t

i do love a smart girl 😉

y/n: stop speaking to me like a bitch in heat

jin: people lame nowadays

by people i mean you

y/n: cry about it

jin: i just might

y/n: good

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: do you want to have a baby?

jk: doesn’t giving birth hurt?

y/n: so?

jk: i don’t want you to get hurt

y/n: life is pain

jk: i’ll give birth

y/n: that’s not how it works

jk: pls let me do it

y/n: ok

jk: thank you

y/n: ur welcome

jk: do you think i’ll look good pregnant?

y/n: idk

jk: will you still love me when i get big?

y/n: i might leave you if you get pregnant

jk: wtf?

y/n: it might creep me out

jk: why wtf

y/n: i don’t want to imagine you pregnant

jk: but our baby ☹️

y/n: i would rather never have kids than see you pregnant

jk: wow

you think i would be that ugly

y/n: i’m sorry

jk: are you?

y/n: ummm

jk: ok then

y/n: we can always adopt

jk: but that’s not my baby

y/n: legally they would be

jk: we won’t have the same spit

y/n: the same spit?

jk: yk like our insides won’t be the same

y/n: ur dna?

jk: yeah my dna

y/n: ur not supposed to have the exact same dna as ur baby anyways

jk: okay but it’s like a mix of us

and a adopted one would have no mix at all

y/n: so what do you want to do?

jk: give birth

y/n: i really don’t think it’s possible babe

jk: i will do it

y/n: sure

jk: why don’t you believe in me?

y/n: i do

jk: act like it

y/n: wooo?

jk: not good enough

y/n: sorry i’m tired

jk: ok?

y/n: fuck you?

jk: i’m about to have a baby and ur talking to me like that?

y/n: i’ll believe it when i see it

jk: so you fr don’t believe in me?

y/n: yeah

not one bit of belief in me

jk: crazy how people switch up

when you want to come back into me and MY babies lives we won’t let you

y/n: i’m crying

honestly

jk: i’m glad

y/n: i’m actually not

i don’t care at all

and that’s the truth

jk: so you just lie for fun

y/n: pretty much

jk: wow

ur crazy

y/n: 4 u

jk: waittt why am i blushing rn 😖

are you in love with me be honest?

y/n: idk…

jk: oh

y/n: embarrassing…

ur just a fuck buddy tbh

jk: for 8 years i’ve been a fuck buddy?

y/n: yur

jk: are you lying to me?

y/n: i could be

jk: i could be pregnant rn

y/n: are you?

jk: no

but i could be

y/n: are you lying to me?

jk: yeah :(

y/n: it’s okay

jk: is it really??

y/n: you don’t want me to answer that

JIMIN -

y/n: i’ve been getting congratulation texts all day today

jimin: omg people are so crazy wtf 😭?

y/n: i’m fr so confused

did we win an award i didn’t know about or something??

jimin: maybe idk lol

y/n: would it be rude if i asked what tf they’re talking about?

jimin: unbelievably rude

don’t do it

i’m for real

y/n: but i wanna know

jimin: just accept the congrats and go

y/n: do you know something i don’t?

jimin: wtf no?

y/n. ur lying

jimin: i’m not

y/n: jimin

jimin: love of my life

apple of my eye

babe

y/n: tell me

jimin: omg i LOVE that song

tell me tell me ttttell me

y/n: now

jimin: sorry idk what ur talking about

hello??

babe?

where did you go?

come back

talk to me

y/n: YOU TOLD PEOPLE I WAS PREGNANT???

jimin: I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK

WAHT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

y/n: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

jimin: i’m preparing people for the future

y/n: ??????????

i’m NOT pregnant

jimin: you will be when i’m done with you ;)

y/n: wtf is wrong with you

jimin: a lot

y/n: i can tell

jimin: do you think i’m ugly be honest

y/n: right now yes

jimin: so you think i’m pretty other times 🥺🥺🥺

let’s have a baby

y/n: no

jimin: okay wtf

why not

y/n: ur literally about to be shipped off

you want to leave me with a baby??

jimin: why would you say that

now i’m upset

i’ll take the baby with me

y/n: …

jimin: no?

y/n: no

jimin: fine

our baby would be lowkey ugly anyways

y/n: excuse me?

jimin: problem?

y/n: why would our baby be ugly??

jimin: i mean…

y/n: you mean????

jimin: ur gonna have to just prove me wrong babe

y/n: ur not funny

jimin: did i make a joke???

y/n: you are the joke

jimin: i actually am not the joke

i never joke

super serious guy park jimin is

super shy too

new jeans core >.<

y/n: i’m done with you

HOSEOK -

y/n: baby?

hobi: me?

y/n: no like an actual baby

hobi: ur having one?

congrats!!!!!

y/n: no??

i’m not having one

hobi: oh

i’m sorry for ur loss

y/n: there was no loss

hobi: oh

was there a gain?

y/n: do you want there to be?

hobi: depends on the gain

y/n: the gain would be a baby

hobi: yikesss

that’s a pretty lame gain

why would i want you to have a baby?

y/n: um because you love me?

hobi: i wouldn’t be the father

i don’t see the point

y/n: ???

why wouldn’t you be the father?

hobi: i thought you were asking me if you could have a baby with someone else

y/n: what?

hobi: what?

i’m confused

y/n: I’M confused

hobi: why are we confused??

y/n: why would i ask you if i could have a baby with someone else???

hobi: feminism?

tho i do think it would be more of a feminist move if you didn’t ask me

ur spirt was in the right place tho

i’m sure the women will forgive you

y/n: what?

hobi: was i wrong??

y/n: what do you think?

hobi: it’s not my place to decide for a strong woman like urself

y/n: get a grip

hobi: grip gotten

y/n: is this ur way of dodging my baby proposal?

hobi: a baby what?

that sounds wrong

tf is a baby doing proposing???

ur a baby like drink milk or something

y/n: are you drunk??

hobi: nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

y/n: so ur tipsy?

hobi: tipsy topsy who cares

y/n: i do

i’m trying to ask you if you want to have a baby with me oh my god

hobi: omg do you love me or something???

that’s so crazy

y/n: bye have fun drinking

hobi: drinking heals me

y/n: that’s concerning

hobi: will i be a good dad

y/n: i’m sure you will

hobi: or will i kill myself due to the stress

y/n: oh

hobi: let’s find out babe

i’m ready

y/n: that did not sound like ready talk to me

we can talk about this tomorrow

hobi: if we think about it what can a baby do that i can’t???

y/n: keep me company

hobi: i do that all the time

do you hate me

if you hate me say 1

if you hate me and want me dead in a ditch by saturday night say 7

y/n: where are you right now?

hobi: jin’s house

i think

y/n: you think?

anyways

that’s the point

i’m all alone a baby would never leave me to go drink with jin

hobi: jin would be dead by the time our baby was born

he’s old

dojn’t tell him i said that

he might kick me out

i would be so upset

like this :cccccccccccc

and this 😭😭😭😪😓😓😓😰😰😨😨

WOAHHH THIJS DRINK HITTING OH MY GOD BABE WOW

FEELS LIKE I JUST DID COKE

OH MY GOF

not that i’ve done cokr befr don’t be scared of me babe

y/n: wow okay!

hobi: babies can’t even dance to dynamite i don’t see why you would want that in ur life

and i totally can dance to dynamite

sO i win

y/n: you are so right babe you go and have fun with jin!

hobi: see ur just so silly

and btw i realllly donnt do coke i swear it

y/n: 7

hobi: OH MY GIF I KNEW ITT

[lauraneedstochill]

I debated whether I should keep my opinion on EP3 in the comments to @st-eve-barnes post (she made some good arguments btw!) but I guess I’m out of fucks to give. just like the HOTD scriptwriters ✌

big fat disclaimer: I sincerely can’t say a single bad thing about Ewan. his acting was absolutely amazing, he owned the scene, and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t have a problem with nudity (if you watched “High Life”, you know what I’m talking about; if you didn’t, please read the warnings before watching).

my problem is with everything leading up to the brothel scene with Aegon — because this is NOT how you write conflict, and because it could’ve hit way harder if only it was done PROPERLY. unsurprisingly, it started in EP2:

➡ the fact that we got absolutely no reaction to B&C from Aemond is a joke. I’ve read some people saying “well, Jaehaerys isn’t his son so why would he care” — sure, Aemond wasn’t competing to win the uncle of the year award. BUT you are telling me he wouldn’t simply be pissed about the fact that a couple of nobodies managed to sneak into the supposedly well-guarded castle and kill a Targaryen like it’s no big deal? that they dared to put a knife to Helaena’s neck, that they clearly could’ve done worse things to her? that they left a mess in his room, touched his stuff? you mean Aemond, who is definitely an annoying perfectionist who puts every thing in its specific place, Aemond who’s extremely arrogant about being the best warrior, the biggest defender, the mister-know-it-all, Aemond who clearly has anger issues — HE wouldn’t be fuming on the inside? HE wouldn’t rush to the small council meeting to know all the details? HE wouldn’t volunteer to help Aegon murder the ones responsible? it’s a pity everyone’s forgotten S1 Aemond but I have NOT.

➡ I won’t talk much about the brothel scene in EP2 (@pygmyharmoset analyzed it really well) but I will say that to me it felt very disconnected from the main plotline. yet again, there is NO ! BUILD UP ! was it so hard to at least show Aemond leaving? to let us know what mood he was in (was he agitated? fidgeting? when exactly he decided to leave? did something trigger it?). they could’ve cut out the moment of his arrival so we wouldn’t know where he was going to have the big shocking reveal later when he’s suddenly with Sylvi, all naked and vulnerable. it would’ve only taken an additional MINUTE of screentime!

➡ now, to the worst of it — and I really want you to think over what I’m about to say:

people are allowed to grieve in their own way. not everyone is lucky to have all the right tools to process trauma.

did Aegon treat Aemond poorly? was he mean and cruel to his younger brother? yes. yes, he was (newsflash: there are no good people in this show. hope this helps).

BUT

was Aegon’s child killed because of a mistake Aemond made? is it possible that Aegon’s been harboring his resentment, that the absence of Aemond in that tragic, pivotal moment in their lives hurt him? the answer is also YES. Aegon doesn’t know how and has never seen how to cope with emotions in a healthy way, and it’s not in his power to break the cycle so he keeps repeating all the same mistakes. that’s the tragedy of it and that’s the ticking bomb planted under the foundation of their relationship.

the tragedy of that dumbass writing we’ve been presented with is that we did not see their conflict take root. we DID NOT get to see how their discontent kept growing, how they both felt caged and dissatisfied with their circumstances (Aegon realizes no one wants him on the throne and he feels helpless, Aemond is constantly being denied the chance to prove himself so he also feels helpless) — and how eventually that anger they couldn’t channel into anything else made them lash out at each other.

my first thought after watching EP3 was that there’s gotta be a scene missing between the small council meeting and the brothel scene. there SHOULD’VE been a scene with just Aegon and Aemond, they had all the reasons and opportunities for it! here, think about this:

Aemond’s comment at the end of the meeting comes off as patronizing (“It’s a brave thought” — Aemond is forbidden to leave with Vhagar so he’s glad that Aegon has to sit back, too). Aegon insists that he’s just “as fearsome”; but the thing is, he isn’t sure of it, so of course Aemond’s words stay with him, nibble at him, and it would only take a cup or two for him to get heated about it. he calls Aemond to his chambers and brings back the topic — “You don’t deem me brave, brother? You do not think I’d fight just as hard?”. it’s only the two of them, Aegon is in full armor, standing on his little wooden stool, a cup in his hands. and because he is hurting, he wants to hurt Aemond in return. so he gets off the stool and comes closer to him, sneering, “You are, no doubt, a fierce warrior,” — but then the smile falls off his face, and his voice gets quiet, pained, searing, “So tell me, where were you when my son was being murdered? I came to learn that they were looking for you, were they not? Oh, you would’ve fought them off with ease, for sure. So where were you, huh?”

and then you get the tension breaking, the emotions erupting — and, most importantly, the CONFLICT. Aegon throws the cup away, darts to Aemond, grabs him by his clothes (remember how desperately he held his face in EP9 of S1? the parallel would’ve been so beautiful !), finally screaming “Have you any idea what you’ve done? WHAT IT COST US?” — and now he isn’t talking about B&C but about Luke too. only, we’ve seen the extent of Aemond’s guilt and he isn’t about to show it now, taken aback by Aegon’s outburst, so instead of taking the blame, Aemond does what he knows best — he attacks him in return. they throw accusations at each other: Aemond reminds Aegon he was getting drunk, he himself didn’t do anything to be there for his family, he didn’t even do anything to deserve being on the throne. it’s nasty, it’s a shouting match, Aegon’s buddies eventually have to come in to pull them away from each other.

and it’s no surprise that Aegon goes back to drinking after that. and Aemond, overwhelmed and in disarray, goes back to the only place that can grant him comfort. so when Aegon finds him there and dares to humiliate him publicly and rob him of that illusion of comfort — that’s when something switches in Aemond. that’s when he decides he’s not a loyal dog anymore.

and that is, in my humble and very subjective opinion, how you properly bring someone’s temper to a boiling point. if only Ryan Condal ever cared, HA.

[dangermousie]

Loved the Hou x FFYY plot being all uncovered (and the fact that Jing didn't even need an explanation from XY - she tried and he was all 'I trust you, no need') and of course the man got off lighter. I loved FFYY learning she wasted her life on a psycho tho how she wasn't clued in that a man who tortured his brother to near death and insanity for years is probably not dreamboat material is beyond me.

Also, I love how he physically takes care of her in such practical, constant, little ways. AWWW

And her reaction on getting confirmation he's never had anything with FFYY.

I also love that when he asked for another chance, he first promised to not let anyone else or himself hurt her. AAAA!

In those eps we can see little glimpses of how easily happy they can be if the world lets them be.

I mean, even grandpa likes him:

Because he gets that it's Jing who can offer XY what she wants - a simple easy life of cottagecore and no great deeds. I mean, we see later them play chess and TSJ the chess genius just does not concentrate because he's busy making eyes at his girl - and grandpa likes it. Because chess is all ambition and war and Jing just doesn't care. He's got the brains for it and no drive. I am in love with the concept of the best love interest being the one with no cause, no ambition, no destiny. Just an offer of peace and normalcy and mundane moments - because clearly that is all XY wants.

And it reaches its peak when she opens a clinic and he gives her the sign he drew and there are firecrackers and the most amazingly peaceful yuppie life imaginable - as the servant says about them, she will treat people and Jing will collect the money. One of the reasons I really love LYF is that it gets that people love and want different things in life. The default epic/fantasy narrative is people with causes and destinies and quests and kingdoms to conquer and wrongs to avenge. But our protagonist wants only to escape the narrative - she does not want to be in an epic fantasy or a doomed romance - no Game of Thrones OR Throne of Glass is her desire - she wants to live in a xianxia version of PG Wodehouse's Blandings, where the biggest concerns are whose pig will win at the annual fair. And that is one of the reasons only Jing can be a truly happy endgame for her - only with him will her life resemble her ideal vision - neither of the other two men are capable of providing her with cottagecore (and GX is gegezoned also but...)

This is her dream life.

Btw, this will never not be funny. Look how smugly she's telling this about her dad to TSJ.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

[kerubimcrepin]

Dofus: The Production - reviewing the artbook

This post won't go too deep in detail, it's just my commentary on the artbook — but the next (or, well, one after the next), post will be me doing some actual research outside of it. I recommend you to buy the artbook, and go see its contents for yourself, if you're curious about it. (or download it. It's been scanned to hell and back...)

God, this makes me deranged and insane. Even being baby does not stop Kerubim from loving Joris's jokes... I'm insane...

This part of the artbook has always scared me because like... Does he kill people in Dofus 2, Tot?. Does he.?

Epic events is a funny way to refer to this movie's unending barrage of traumatic events, but man, we were kinda robbed of cool draconic winged Joris. That's sad.

I won't include too much art from the artbook if I can help it, but I wanted to report that this is a very good art and theres a lot of love and um and they love each other and um and [CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] ‘GOOD LORD!’ [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] ‘WAAAAH WAAAAH’ [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG… MY LEG…’

I wish I knew what the fuck Tot meant by this. However, knowing that Pupuce is Kerubim's pet, who just liked her owner's kid more than her owner, has fueled some of my headcanons for years and years:

This version of his armour matches the one we could see in the Dofus Manga. :)

I find it quite fascinating that at one point, it was considered for Julith to be an osamodas huppermage, considering it was theorized for some time that Joris might be an osamodas.

I wouldn't call her a tender mother, but eh. She's more of a... "very loving yet despaired mother who doesn't even know her son" mother. A "wants to get back the past which will never return to the point of putting her son into the torture nexus" mother. A "has love in her that is so mentally disturbed" mother. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT!!

I know that her being an alcoholic is a retcon that Dessous did, but its such a good one. I think it's a good show of her decade of slow slippage of sanity. Comic retcons win over Tot's ideas for all Joris-related media once again.

This post was made by "I love Kerubim's dead family from Dofus Heroes Kerubim and Bakara Alcoholism Lore from Dessous de Dofus" gang.

These two huppermages from the movie's concept art were reused in season 4 of Wakfu. Though it would be easier to say what in season 4 of Wakfu isn't reused stuff considering the "shoestring and a piece of chewed gum" budget it was made on...

God, him petting a pupuce is the most important part of the artbook, save for perhaps...

THE KHAN & THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT & JORIS UNDERAGE DRINKING SCENE

The fact that this was cut is the biggest personal tragedy of my entire life, and I am NOT joking.

Apparently, in this tavern, we were supposed to learn more of his backstory, — like how his father was a gobbowler, but sadly (or happily, if you really hate Khan) it was cut.

But listen. Khan would go to some sexworkers to stare at them and do nothing. He's that much of a loser. He would take a 10yo as his drinking buddy.

This is where my headcanon that he buys Joris booze post-movie comes from, btw.

Compared to the movie's exaggerated visions of Kerubim crying, these images feel like something Joris would remember seeing in real life, something he'd want to avoid.

It feels more real, than just his panicked visions.

[thesunfyre4446]

https://www.tumblr.com/archangel-lucerys/757355336700248064/aemond-fans-really-hate-confronting-the-fact-hes?source=share

Calling Aemond a coward.

saying aemond was "always the bully" despite how he was bullied by aegon jace and luke for years for not having a dragon lmao

it's almost like aemond's a 10yo kid who felt rejected and humiliated for years having a mini-power-trip after feeling powerful against his bullies for the first time in his life. not to mention they approached him?

it's almost like aemond, scarred by his past, trained his entire life to never feel weak and helpless again. it's almost like aemond rides the biggest dragon in the world but is only a 18yo teenager?

that's the point of his character, he has vhagar - he has this unlimited power that he can't really understand or control. up to this point, he thought he was invincible but after seeing 4 adult dragons he knows he can't win. especially after he took out the only other dragonrider in his team.

so is aemond a coward? no. i don't think so. he wants to face daemon - the best dragonrider in the world, he wants to fight. but he has no idea what he's doing. he thinks he's going to be this war hero and his useless brother is the problem. he thinks he'll make a better king, he thinks he can control vhagar. he thinks he's invincible but everything comes crushing down on him.

aemond is arrogant, impulsive, over-confident in his abilities. he is afraid when he encounters someone "his own size" because he never thought that was even possible. how can someone ever pose a threat to him and vhagar?

i don't think aemond is afraid to die \ fight, he really wants to face daemon, and he knows that won't be an easy fight to win, but in this moment, the realization that "oh shit, i am outnumbered. i have to flee or i'll die" terrifies him. because he's also a teen with no real battle experience.

and btw, luke tried to flee from vhagar. does that make him a coward? of course not. backing down from a fight you know you can't win makes you intelligent.

(also that "oh shit i'm not actually invincible like i thought i have to get the fuck out of here" moment is coming for rhaenyra so hard in the stroming of the dragonpit)

[kald-dal-art]

Reading through your Annie post where you mention you hc as a career (100% agree btw), I was wondering if you had an hc of how Finnick ended up as a tribute at 14? Because it’s presumed he volunteered (or more like was encouraged to volunteer) but it’s a bit odd when you compare to other careers who are presumably much older.

So originally I didn't think Finnick was a career when I finished my reread because of the whole he was only 14 when he won. But I think over time I have gotten more inclined to believe he was a career. I find it rather annoying how much the Fandom downplays the Career status of book D4, it makes them less interesting imo.

I'm so petty about that fact I have started to headcannon D4 as being the first proper career District out of the Career Districts hsajdhj

Anyways back to Finnick, so why would D4 even send a 14 year old if they are a Career District and have people volunteer.

Number 1 reason is that like as a Career District who takes the games seriously, wouldn't it be the biggest flex to have the youngest ever Victor. So if you have a pretty competent 14 year old, why wouldn't you send him (don't send him, he should be doing his homeworks)

number 2, Idk if anyone has talked to any 14 year old out there, but some of them just has no fear. I have been in the scout for years, some of these 14 years were scarily competent, I could see them winning the Hunger Games ngl 💀 Just to say, Finnick was probarbly partially a kid a bit over his head, hearing a lot of people around him hyping him up, telling him he could probarbly be the youngest Victor they’ve seen for the games.

It also seems that D4 boys are built different with the way Mizzen was 13 in TBOSAS ended up 5th in the books and 4th in the movie. Like even Snow gave him said even with an injured knee and young age he was still one of the more competent fighters remeaning. So I honestly imagine Finnick in his games were a lot like Mizzen.

With the way Mizzen had a trident in the book and a net in the movie. I feel like a combination of both versions is pretty much my idea on how Finnick did it in the arena. + actual proper training.

TLDR:

I think Finnick was a Career kid a bit over his head who probarbly had a lot of people hyped up that he could win because he was a competent fighter and a charmer.

[sterlingarcher23]

Zoomer

And then.... This:

Btw the fact that El sees her older self in stead of the girl tells you that the girl doesn't look the way we think she does. Someone had the idea that El is a substitute in the NINA (like Erica is a substitute for Lucas in the game that ia forshadowing a lot, including dice rolls and winnings and is even paralleled with Lucas scoring to secure his team's win) and I think that's pretty on point.

And Edward, sorry, Eddie pointing out that the "child speaks" like this is THE biggest "plot hole" in the memory scenes. But is it as we have multiple scenes showing us that Max says something and El repeats it.

I mean, there's a reason why this Brenner has a scar pretty much exactly where Max had her hair streak falling over her face:

Well, Papa, what did you see?

Guess where Max is. -Back inside....

There's this shot of Max looking at Chrissy's dead body while the police officer says "Go back inside. Back inside"

Back inside over a brilliant kaleidoscope of colors (rainbow [bridge]) as forshadowed with a rainbow artwork and a sign saying "All the way"

(her line is also very well placed)

And that inside. A realm of the mind. You call it mind lair. It's more commonly known as "Internal world"

There's a depiction of an internal world in the movie Identity in which the alters also can't leave the place and run in circles if they try do. ( The character who has DID, Malcolm Rivers was portrayed by Pruitt Taylor Vince who also played a minor role in Stranger Things.)

Dissociation is described as falling into a coma or vanishing, being detached from reality and not connected to your own body. That's what happened. Max dissociated. And her describing to us that she can see or feel anything is just film language for the audience. That's it. (btw correcting my past self on this issue about abilities been taking, this might be not correct)

Internal world = other dimension...inside of Max.

Hiding in the light.

[missnxthingg]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑤𝑜)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - Once again, we have two parts! Hope you like this one as well and don't forget to go ready the first one ahead of this 🧡

original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 1

yourusername

Red Bull Ring

yourusername Gooooood morning, Austria! I'll be pretending this is a sea of papaya, btw. Wish this bad boy good luck today 🧡

tagged: mclaren, landonorris

landonorris ***good boy! 😉

↪yourusername You don't fool anyone, babe ↪username1 preach, y/n

username2 Lando P1 at Red Bull's home. I'm so ready!

username3 Papaya dom coming!

mclaren Everybody is a papaya fan! 🧡

liked by the author

f1news

f1news It's DNF for Norris in Austria! The McLaren driver crashed with the owner of the house, Max Verstappen, in the Red Bull Ring and was taken out of the race. The RBR driver lost his leadership, but finished P5.

username1 Max Verstappen plays it DIRTY!

username2 I feel so so sorry for Lando. He didn't deserve this 😢

username3 i hope y/n takes good care of our boy

yourusername added to their stories

Caption: A very much needed home time for Mr Norris

landonorris

Silverstone

landonorris Back to Silvo with some family time ❤

tagged: adam_norris_pure_electric, yourusername

yourusername P1 in Ollie's heart 🧡

↪landonorris My love ❤

username1 Olivia content!!!!

↪username2 finally 😫 i missed them so much

username3 i just know lando spent the entire week with ollie bf silverstone

username4 we're all ready for your revenge arch 😈

landonorris

landonorris Silverstone I love you, so many incredible fans out there ❤️ Congrats on the win @.lewishamilton, we’ll review, do better and come get you next time 

username1 Just the fact that Olivia dressed as Lando for Silverstone makes me so so happy!

↪username2 she's his biggest fan indeed! ↪username3 Olivia future WDC!

yourusername Always good to see you step on the podium at home 🧡 I'm so proud

↪username3 I love that no matter the result, Y/N is always there to support Lando ↪username4 She's his true biggest fan

yourusername

Mallorca, Spain

yourusername Spain, you are a dream! 🤍 Best summer break ever

tagged: landonorris

username1 THEY WENT ON A HOLIDAY TOGETHER?

username2 i'm considering this a hard launch, btw

↪username3 you always make it weird for them 🙄 clearly they are just best friends having fun together ↪username4 for real! people forget that he's literally her daughter's godfather ↪username5 doesn't mean they can't become a couple eventually btw

username6 good to see that lando is spending time with y/n and olivia ❤ he deserved some family time to recharge

oscarpiastri Enjoy summer break, guys!

↪yourusername Thanks, Osc! Love you ❤ Send love to Lily, btw

maxfewtrell Bring me next time

↪landonorris It's family only ↪yourusername Max is family, idiot

landonorris My girls ❤

↪yourusername Our boy ❤ ↪username7 Stooooop, I love you guys so much ↪username8 The cutest duo ever

landonorris

Mallorca, Spain

landonorris aug 24. sun & things ☀️ family, forever

tagged: yourusername

yourusername Best summer ever ❤ I love you my babies

username1 Stoooop they are the cutest little family, omg!

username2 Lando applying sunscreen to Ollie's face and they posing as a family is everything to me 😭

maxfewtrell That's what i'm talking about, mates ❤

yourusername Ollie says: "Hi, uncle Max. Come have dinner with us" maxfewtrell How can I deny this proposal?

username3 now can we please have a hard launch???

username4 uhmm don't think they are really together, though. lando has taken them on vacations before, it's not like something different happened username5 idk dude, they do seem a little closer after his win in miami and people saw them leaving the party together username6 you keep assuming things and it's very annoying

username7 I'm so ready for the next chapter of this story

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

[missmungoe]

You write a lot of Shanks and I love it so much. I image it must be difficult to write some aspects when his backstory is incomplete. (Mainly thinking about the Pain-sharing AU and the necessity of Shanks telling Makino the story of his face scars)

So…I was wondering how you’ve imagined the details of Shanks getting the scars.

Apologies if you did address this in one of your fics, it’s been a few months since I checked for updates and I was delighted to find you here

It's a bit of a double-edged sword, because on the one hand there's so much room for your imagination, but I'd also love for my stories to not be completely unreadable when canon eventually contradicts something. I actually used to be a lot more hesitant about making up stuff for the characters whose backstories are open or have a lot of unanswered questions, because I used to want my stories to be as canon-compliant as possible, but over the years the way I interact with canon has changed, and I have more fun exploring the unanswered depths of these characters than I do trying to find ways to write around them. That being said, it's still important to me that the things I make up feel like they could be canon, that they seem plausible for the world and the characters involved, so I always have that in mind whenever I expand the little universe I've created within Oda's.

Shanks' scars is one example, and in the fics following Siren's Call, he tells Makino the story when he comes back during the timeskip, and similarly in Mnemosyne and Tideswept when she asks about them, so I haven't shied away from it. As for how I imagine it went down, going by the little info we have, I figure there was a fight between Shanks and Blackbeard where Shanks underestimated just how dirty Teach is willing to fight in order to win, and that the blow that gave him the scars came when he wasn't expecting it - for instance at a time where he considered their battle over. Shanks has a very strict honour code; Blackbeard does not, and so I thought this could be a plausible scenario. We know Blackbeard didn't think very highly of Shanks back then, and in the event that Shanks ended up besting him in a fight, especially if Teach also underestimated him, I could see him pulling a dirty move in order to come out on top (at least in his own definition). The fact that the scars still seem to bother Shanks also makes sense if they were achieved through dishonourable means:

So I've thought a lot about Shanks' scars! And I might be completely off course, but regardless of what the real story ends up being, I've had a lot of fun exploring this part of their backstory and how it's influenced their rivalry in the present, not just in terms of how they view each other (Shanks clearly considers Blackbeard a threat, and given Teach's remarks in Marineford, he no longer underestimates Shanks), but also with regard to Makino, and in my fics where Blackbeard is a main antagonist, his conflict with Makino often comes back to the scars: the one thing that she, the very embodiment of kindness and mercy, won't forgive. (Btw if this brand of angst is something you're interested in, aside from the Pain Sharing AU, Charybdis is probably the fic in Shanties where his scars play the biggest role.)

[froot-batty]

for asks… pls I need to know more about your Ozzie. Like. Anything

( also hi! You’re so nice btw ! )

i've been trying my DARNDEST to go as fast as possible to finish his ref just for this ask but unfortunately i just don't have the time tonight. HOWEVER, i can give you the wip, and some more fun facts....

(i'd give you his whole backstory, but i don't have it typed up/fully fleshed out yet :[)

((also thank you !! you're very nice too <3))

i got about as far as frantically lining ozzie. whoopsie

i'm gonna be honest, i don't have a toonnn written down about oz just yet. so i'm just gonna be going off the ref for the time being

-as i said SOMEWHERE, ed was the one to design and build oz's trick umbrella (gunbrella) and his trick cane. not only does it have the obvious twist-and-pull knife at the top, but it's also meant to look deceptively delicate and fancy. in reality, the actual stick part of the cane is HEAVY, and can easily crack skulls if need be

-relating to that, oz is actually like wickedly strong. his fancy clothes, pretty face, and missing leg trick people into underestimating him, but he is fuckin BUILT. his favorite party trick is having people bet on whether or not he can win an arm wrestling contest with the biggest, most muscled-up person in the room, and then collecting all the cash when he breaks the other guy's hand

-the pocket watch is a gift from jervis! jervis' nickname for him is the duchess, which oz absolutely hates. why does he have to be the rude, ugly one with a pig-baby?

-oz's messed up eye is from getting attacked with acid. it makes what he'd later to do harvey ironic

-that plague/masquerade/gas mask up in the corner is a gift from jon! because he's an ass, jon gifted him it after ozzie getting fear-toxin'd, specifically made to look similar to jon's. oz hates it, and wouldn't wear it, but he's more afraid of getting gassed than he is petty

-the gunbrella is based off of this insane combination of a gun and an unbrella hanging on the wall of a very weird couple who gave house tours. while i don't think it's real life inspiration was functional, this one IS. the cloth part (i don't know the name) is bulletproof and semi-see-through, so oz can hide safely behind the canopy while shooting. ed was paid handsomely for it

-he's gay and trans, along with having intermittent explosive disorder. my freak old man

[h5eavenly]

BESTIE SAY SIKE RN?????? NOT YUNA????? when the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not in fact what she seemed not a twin from your dreams she's a crook who was caught..... ooooo not you hitting us with that old familiar body ache damn :-(

i hate to say this but this makes so much sense :-((( with how yuna was so excited and eager to be y/n's friend even when y/n didn't know her at all and had no business at all with her omgggg :-( and woo is such a real one btw i don't think i ever gave him the credit he deserves but damn he's REAL

and can we talk about hyune referring to y/n as "the girl i love" and her being the last straw for him to beat up changbin bc he's as loyal to her as he's loyal to his family like omgggg i know this isn't the main focus of the chapter but im such a sucker for this type of trope ik i have issues but he really sounds like he called the amateurs and cut 'em from the team 🥹🥹

also did we just witness woo and felix finding out they were in love with a person who hurt both their respective best friends bc :-((( i want to be mad at this but you pulled this plot twist so gorgeously like okayyyy angie christie!!! we see you and we love you 🩷🩷 also the way yuna knows damn well y/n is head over heels in love with hyune but still offered woo her help to win y/n over.... like that's your so-called best friend, her man AND the man you're supposedly into who's also your so-called best friend's best friend that you're trying to play with like that's sooo not 💀 i was like omg yuna is on a silly goofy mood rn lol she's so funny but omg????

anyways this is getting too long and i'm sorry but you got me bad. it's almost midnight and i can't lay down bc i'm so gagged i'm afraid i'll choke in my sleep. i love you sm and i'm sending you the biggest hug ever 🫂

i wish i could say sike babe😔😔 i know yuna was so sus from the start yess woo is A REAL ONE woo defender till the day i dieee the only character that was 100% honest from the start 🙏🏻 my girl yuna really came into their lives to fuck everyone over helpp

not you calling angie christie helpp🥲🥲 thank you so much my love i’m so happy you stuck around for so long and enjoyed this as much as i enjoyed writing it! you’re so always so kind and funny with your notes fhat i find myself smiling along without meaning to ajakwna and please don’t apologize i dont mind lonf asks at all🩷🩷🩷 I LOVE YOU🥹🥺