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zombiedumbie · 1 year ago

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happy birthday law!! this fucking nerd lives so freely in my head that sometimes I consider him to be real. i am so normal about him. and i'm not crying, stop!!!

pure fluff! with some emotional lines, gender neutral reader

"Hey, Law?" You called him in the darkness of the kitchen, the poor man had just wanted to get some water and ended up bumping into you in the kitchen.

Before he could even wonder what the hell you were doing in the dark kitchen in the middle of the night, you continued, "Happy birthday."

Birthdays were still strange for Law.

The concept of people around you simply turning to celebrate that you were alive on one day of the year, if you were happy someone was alive, that celebration should be done every day of the year, not just one.

However, he still held the memories of his past birthdays.

The first one he remembered was a surprise birthday his parents had thrown for him. He didn't remember much, but he remembered finding it strange that neither his father nor mother were there to explain some facts about the human body as they always did; they spent the whole day very busy. His friends also seemed a bit strange, as if they were playing something Law wasn't invited to.

But he distinctly remembered coming home later that afternoon and being startled by everyone shouting "surprise!" and starting to sing "happy birthday." He also remembered that at the end of the party, everyone had yellow icing on their faces, even little Lami, who couldn't barely even walk on her own.

The few birthdays he celebrated with the Donquixote Family were actually quite fun. Despite his insistence that he didn't want to celebrate, there was always a big cake in the center of the table with some candles that never matched his age, but you could tell they were at least trying.

Baby 5 and Buffalo always tried to shove his face in the cake, but he always managed to dodge and put their faces in it instead. Somehow, even after the candle was blown out, Corazón still managed to set himself on fire.

Luckily, Law still managed to celebrate one more birthday with Cora-san. During their travels from hospital to hospital, the day Cora had marked on his little calendar finally came, although he had been keeping the date in his head for the past month. The man asked Law to continue without him to the same place where they were sheltered, saying he would arrive soon.

"Hey, Law?" Rosinante called the boy when he finally caught up to him, turning to find the man holding a piece of cake. "Happy birthday!" Cora held a broad smile on his lips.

Little Law thought he would never forget that scene.

The other birthdays were a bit more difficult, just mentioning them made Law shrink and try to change the subject, but eventually, small bargains were made, and the aspiring doctor finally decided he wanted to celebrate his birthday. This was in his last year living with Wolf, it wasn't planned, but he was glad to be able to celebrate his last birthday with the old man.

They celebrated at a small restaurant in Pleasure Town so that the people who lived in the town could also be present. For the first time since Flevance, Law received some gifts: a lab coat with his name embroidered on it, a stethoscope, and some last chapters of "Sora, the Warrior of the Sea", which he couldn't read.

Birthdays in the first years aboard the Polar Tang were more limited, but they were still fun, even if Law didn't always want to celebrate. It was funny to see them try to put together a surprise, but Bepo always ruined it.

It was also funny to see the looks on everyone's faces when Law ordered them to clean up the dining room after the mess they made with the confetti.

However, this year the surprise was in your hands. Luckily, Law was already leaving the office before you could send someone to fetch him; Uni had alerted you through a mini Den Den Mushi, you had left him to watch if Law would leave the room before you prepared everything.

You called him before he could enter the kitchen, making him startle a bit. You approached him before he turned on the lights, with your hands behind your back and the gentlest smile you could muster. "Happy birthday," and the lights were turned on, everyone shouted "surprise" and started singing "happy birthday."

Law stood frozen in place as they sang, his lips parted and his eyes wide. The way you wished him a happy birthday and the way they managed, for the first time, to pull off a successful surprise birthday party, it all reminded him of the past. Shachi and Penguin tried to shove his face in the cake, but a "Room, Shambles!" was enough to leave the cake untouched on the table and Shachi in his place while Penguin burst one of the balloons in his friend's face.

Even in the middle of the night, everyone was there, celebrating the life of their captain, even after spending the entire year showing their gratitude for his presence. Bepo gifted him with a big bear hug, rubbing his cheek against Law's face and wishing him a happy birthday in the way his own people had taught him.

"Captain! Who's the first piece of cake for?" Ikkaku asked. Everyone had their own speculations. Some bet it was for you, others said it was for Bepo, and there were even bolder ones who claimed he would give the piece to themselves.

Law thought for a moment; he wanted to dedicate his piece of cake to a special person, the one who helped him become who he was today. The idea tugged at his heart a little.

"I... Um..." He looked at the piece in his hand and then at the crew in front of him, all smiling, eager for his answer. Law placed the piece further down on the table, in front of everyone. "For all of you..." He murmured, looking away, trying to hide his reddening cheeks.

"CAAAPTAAAAIN!!" There was an emotional chorus, and everyone tried to approach to hug him, but he pleaded desperately for them not to do it.

Law received an expensive (and stolen) stethoscope, as his old one was too worn. He also got some early chapters of "Sora, the Warrior of the Sea" a bit used and with yellowed pages, but from an old collector's edition. He wondered if he would ever receive a lab coat.

Nostalgically, he also wondered if Cora-san would be there to set himself on fire even after the candles were blown out.

Law hugged you tightly some time later and rested his forehead on your shoulder; you simply accepted the embrace, moving your hand to the back of his neck. It was only when he whispered a "thank you" against your skin that you realized he was crying.

He was a discreet man. You just let him cry on your shoulder without saying anything, running your hands over his waist, letting him cry as much as he wanted. You knew his tears weren't of sadness, especially after what he had confessed to you a few days ago.

"I think I'm finally doing what Cora-san wanted me to do", he commented, lifting his eyes from the stack of papers and books on his desk to look at you. "He wanted me to live..." You smiled patiently, reaching him with slow steps.

You took off his hat, running your hand through his hair, pushing the strands that fell on his face back. "Cora-san certainly loved you", you said. "Besides living, I believe he would want you to be happy", Law hugged your waist, pressing his face into your belly. "Are you doing what he wanted?"

He fell silent, thinking of an answer. Now, once again, embraced by you as he hid his face in your neck, Law finally found his answer.

there is a culture here in brazil where you give the first piece of your cake to someone special, only when I discovered that this only happens here, I realized how cute it is.

#one piece #one piece x reader #trafalgar d law #trafalgar d water law #law one piece #one piece fanfic #law fanfic #law x reader #one piece fluff #trafalgar law fluff #fluff #zombiedumbie writing

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ondeemand · 3 months ago

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Umbrella Academy Season 4 Review

I cannot understate how bad this season was, not just from a character writing angle, but from a world building one as well. Am I biased because Five is my favorite character and he, arguably, had the biggest character assassination this season? Maybe. But I'd still like to go over my analysis of the final season of Umbrella Academy despite the fact that I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.

Things that don't make sense with the logic they've established

Little to no explanation of the “upgrades” or changes in everyone’s powers. Only some got an actual upgrade (Allison, Klaus, Five, Viktor, and Lila), but Ben’s tentacles just changed positions with no explanation (likely so he didn’t have to wear that greenscreen torso setup), and Luther and Diego just stayed the same.

○ Why does Allison’s upgrade involve super strength and/or telekinesis? I could maybe see it working on people (a silent command for them to do physically impossible things like float), but why does her power make the lights flicker and furniture move? ○ Why does Lila have laser vision as her upgrade? Her power is to copy powers, no one here has laser eyes. If it’s meant to be an upgrade, why is her upgrade laser eyes of all things? You could have made it so she can use multiple powers at once instead. Not to mention that the laser vision played next to no important role in the entire show besides one attack in the final fight that Viktor could have done instead. ○ Luther mentioned in an episode that he’s been having problems with his powers? What problems? That was never shown and never elaborated on. Also, everyone has already mentioned this, but Luther getting his power back wouldn’t give him the ape DNA.

The show claims that Allison also lost her powers last season despite her not getting her Marigold taken out of her. This could have been a programming thing with Reginald’s universal reset, but it isn’t really established so we’re left to guess (or at least I am).

Why did the CIA hire an 18 year old (at most) looking boy and accept that his name is a number? Did they not question that he’s a Hargreeves and any relations he may have to Reginald? This could be explained that the CIA looked the other way because Five’s boss was a member of the Keepers and possibly knew he had something to do with the timeline being screwed up, but this isn’t ever confirmed.

I liked that Lila’s family was alive, but how? Why? How did they reconnect? Did Lila replace their daughter? Are everyone else’s parents alive? If so, why didn’t they go look for them (especially Klaus, who went out of his way to find his birth mother last season)? Are the other October 1st children alive in this universe? If so, why didn’t they look for Sloane, even if she’d have no memory of her time as a Sparrow? This plot point just creates so many questions that go unanswered.

Number inconsistency with the timeline (Five is 63 instead of 64 years old, saying they spent 5 years instead of 6, etc). The beginning of the show said it was a 6 year time-skip, but the end of the season said it was only about 5 1/2 years, which is likely what led to these inconsistencies. It’s a small detail, but all it would take to fix is to just say it was a 5 year time-skip from the start.

Ben on a subway train last season was seemingly not explained despite subway trains being a very important plot device this season. I get that they probably had to change the story because of Netflix canceling the show, but still.

What’s with the Jennifer portrait in Sparrow Ben’s room in season 3 if he’s never met her before? It was probably just meant to be a reference, but now it retroactively doesn’t make sense.

Why does Claire know that Klaus is immortal? Even if he told her, why would she believe him? They live in a world where they never had powers, and I don’t think anyone told her they got the powers back, let alone every detail of how Klaus’ work.

Five used the ability to go back in time in short bursts way back in season 2, why does he never use that power again? (The answer is that it was too convenient and could fix any plot point, but still)

No paradox psychosis symptoms in the deli full of Fives (because it’s in the subway? Unclear and unexplained).

Diego said that Lila hates bracelets and traded one that Diego got her, but she kept the one Diego made in the 1963 asylum and wore it for the rest of the season. It even made it to season 3 where Diego had kept it for most of the time, then returned it to Lila at the end. It’s such an important symbol of their relationship, but they just had to throw in a random reason that Diego would discover the affair that doesn’t even make logical sense.

Very small thing, but Viktor said he was going to pull out Ben’s Marigold but then they switched it to pulling out his/Jennifer’s Durango.

Klaus doesn’t have his Hello/Goodbye or cult tattoos but they do all have the umbrella tattoos? That doesn’t make sense.

Seeing all the kids being happy in the new timeline was nice, but I do have to point out that they wouldn’t exist if their parents didn’t, or it’d be incredibly unlikely that they’d turn out exactly the same and end up being all together.

Seeing Grace happy at the end was also really sweet, but it didn’t make logical sense because the real Grace is from Dallas in the 60s. She’d be old and/or dead by then, and if they showed her, why not also show Ray, Missy, and Harlan?

Things I just don't like about it

Where’s Ray? It was sad that he was so easily written out and delegated to just a few lines.

Klaus getting whored out is so uncomfortable. Thank god they cut away before it got too graphic, but it was still so bad.

Klaus overall was underutilized and given the short end of the stick this season. How it usually works is Five and Lila are the A Team, they have all the pieces put together and are making real progress. Everyone else is the B Team, they’re trying their best to solve the plot but sometimes make unnecessary moves because they don’t know everything. And then there’s Klaus on the C Team doing god knows what (and I love him for it). However, even if it’s silly, it always impacts the story in some sort of helpful way.

○ In season 1 he gets kidnapped and sent to Vietnam on his own side quest. The plot relevance is that now he learns more about Hazel and Cha Cha and learns how the briefcases work. This is also a somber character moment that forces him to mature through a traumatic event. More positively, it’s where he meets the love of his life that, in turn, has ties to season 2. ○ In season 2 he fucks off for 3 years to start a cult. This allows him time to really practice with his powers and has development for Ben, as well as getting him connections and experiences that help them later on. ○ In season 3, while the rest of the cast are dealing with the Sparrows, he and Five go on a road trip to Pennsylvania. This fun jaunt leads to the incredibly important revelation that their mothers died before they were born, and the discovery of the Kugelblitz. He later goes on another road trip side plot with Reginald where he actually trains his powers, which allows him to survive the Kugelblitz and reveal Reginald’s actions to everyone in the Hotel Oblivion. ○ In season 4, Klaus… gets kidnapped by a gang he owes money to and gets spiritually and physically whored out to people. He manages to escape by himself, is almost immediately found by the gang again, gets buried alive and left to die over and over again (incredibly similar trauma to the mausoleum that isn’t addressed), and is rescued by Allison and Claire. He gains nothing from this except for more trauma. It’s not plot relevant, he doesn’t learn anything or gain any new skills from it, and he doesn’t even get the money he dug up. It’s mind boggling how many plot irrelevant things got squeezed into the final season when the runtime was cut in half. I’d argue that maybe it would all be worth it if they included the cut scene where Klaus goes to an AA meeting.

Not the fault of the show, probably, but the captions weren’t always accurate.

Lila and Five romance which is gross both in-universe and between actors. Not to mention how allonormative it is that Five “had to have a love story,” because the show was already a familial love story. I really don't believe Five and Lila would get together, but even if they did, they would both drop it the moment they got back to their family.

○ I believe that they would grow very close, especially when they’re the only people together. It’s like a diet apocalypse (I’ll get back to this point later), so it makes sense that they’d grow closer on top of the relationship they had based on their established similar backstories and traumas. ○ Five would NEVER give up on finding his family. It’s his main motivation, the very core of his character. Would he want to take a break after 6 ½ years on top of his 45 previous years being stuck? Absolutely, that’s entirely plausible, but he’d want to leave the second he found the journal. ○ Five loves his family, full stop. He’d NEVER hate Diego for his reaction to getting cheated on, and he’d never want to “fucking kill him.” Have we forgotten how a young Five tried to shake Diego’s corpse awake when he first got to the apocalypse? ○ On top of it all, he would never just abandon everyone like that and fuck off to another timeline, and especially not because he got dumped.

I wish the show focused more on how visiting the apocalypse and getting stuck on in the subway would dredge up old memories for Five. He had a whole PTSD attack in season 1 and freaked out hard. I know it’s been a few years for him, but seeing any kind of reaction besides mild concern would have been nice. Same with Klaus and getting buried alive. I didn’t even know that he was dying over and over until I watched the cut AA scene. Robert Sheehan has so much range and I wish they let him shine in that more serious moment on top of how well he does the comedic stuff.

I get that Random Fire Boy from the Phoenix Academy timeline was likely just another one of the October 1st kids, but why create a whole new guy for just that scene? Why not use one of the other established Umbrellas or Sparrows to shoot an attack that took 2 seconds of screen time?

The CGI was bad ngl. I thought it looked worse than usual last season, but this was. Not good.

The final fight with the big glob monster felt kind of disjointed and awkward, both with the pacing, visuals, and dialogue.

Incredibly sad that Ben (and Jennifer, but we didn’t get enough time to really bond with her) died so horrifically. He died scared and alone, never having fully connected with the Umbrellas who only ever saw him as a replacement for their own dead brother.

The fact that there wasn’t a dance sequence this season is really telling. Someone online proposed the idea that they should have danced as they waited to die, and I think that would have been great. The soundtrack did use another version of “I Think We’re Alone Now” for the final scene, but I think this part would have benefited more. Five and Lila would get to join in, and it’d be nice because they weren’t alone anymore. Even if they were going to die, they’d be together. It would have added more sweetness to a bittersweet ending.

The Diego fat jokes weren’t funny. Fatphobia isn’t funny. He also isn’t fat??? He’s really fucking muscular as shown by him going shirtless in the CIA fight (the Marvel dehydrate+flex method strikes again). Maybe he gained some weight since previous seasons but not to an unhealthy degree. He’s a suburban father of 3 who sits in a van all day to deliver packages, of course he’s not as active as he used to be when he was a crime fighting vigilante.

They also never name Diego and Lila’s third child despite them being so important to Lila and why she chooses her family over her affair. Grace as their first daughter is sweet (Diego was a mama’s boy to the end), then Coco is nice (Spanish name like Diego’s), and then there’s Coco’s unnamed twin. It would have been nice to give them a more traditionally Punjabi name to even it out, or show interesting character psychology for Lila if they were named after someone like The Handler or AJ.

No Pogo except in a flashback? The gang that held Klaus hostage were the Mothers of Agony, so I thought he would be there and maybe help Klaus escape. I guess if Reginald had his wife and never made the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t have done the experiments that made Pogo into what he is? That either adds to how awful Reginald is, or it’s just another plot hole.

That whole vomit scene. Bad and Not Funny.

Baby shark was funny at first but got old and cringe incredibly fast.

Things I DO like about it because I want to stay at least a little positive

(It’s not in the show but conceptually, with Allison’s new powers, she could tell someone to kill themselves and they just would which is a funny visual)

The family photo was cute, I love looking at everyone’s individual reactions.

The episode 4 flashback sequence was great.

○ Good casting for the young versions of characters. ○ I love that it showed how close Viktor and Ben were as kids. It’s always been a strong headcanon within the fandom but I don’t know if it’s ever been established on screen before (besides Ben’s sacrifice in season 2). ○ POGO!!!!! ○ Ben said fuck!!!!! ○ Holy SHIT very good reveal of Ben’s death. It was super shocking and unexpected, and the fact that it was a big mystery for so long and ended up being something so simple really added to the tragedy.

Allison throwing a plate at Reggie lmao.

Viktor standing up to Reginald!!! Let it out king!!! And I love that his outburst shows even more how close he and Ben used to be.

Diego and Luther’s dumbassery, I love them so much. The two halves of a whole idiot are BACK. They’re besties and I love it.

Diego learned Punjabi for Lila and her family!!!!! That’s so fucking sweet of him!!!!!!

The soundtrack, as always, was a banger.

Most of the fight scenes are great, either hilarious or incredibly violent or a mix of both.

Hargreeves being an abusive father but not a transphobic one lmao.

I still love the umbrella shapes at the beginning of every episode, and the final one being inverted was sick.

I wasn’t sure about Gene and Jean at first but I love them. Great casting choices, great performances, they felt very reminiscent of the weird and unique aesthetic of season 1 that I’ve been missing.

Diego calling Five “Cinco” was so cute. Too bad this horrible version of Five didn’t deserve it.

I do like how Viktor and Reginald were paired up together when they had the most strained relationship at the start of the show. It felt like a sign that Viktor was stronger now and had been able to recover enough to do so.

○ I understand where people are coming from that it feels too much like forgiving Reginald and absolving him of all his abuse. But also, this is the show that forgets about all the bad things a character has done between seasons, let alone between several. Viktor slashed open Allison’s throat? Water under the bridge. Luther locked Viktor in the same chamber that Reginald did and gave him a mental breakdown? Forgiven and forgotten. Allison’s sexual assault on Luther? To them it’s been 5–6 years so he’s had time to process it but still, never brought up again. I’m not excusing these writing choices, just establishing that it’s been a pattern. At the very least, this one felt like there was closure because Viktor actually got to stand up for himself and his siblings.

They finally wrapped up the plot thread of Five creating the commission, even if it was just delegated to a throwaway line. The fact that they addressed it at all was satisfying enough to me, especially in comparison to everything else.

It’s a blink-and-you’ll- miss-it moment, but Five protected Luther’s head from bullets when the van was getting shot at. So funny that he keeps trying to use his small body to protect the actual tank that is Luther.

○ It’s similar to the scene in season 2 where Five (prepubescent body) pushes Luther (bulletproof ape body) out of the way of falling bricks and gets crushed. Luther is canonically bulletproof (maybe not in the head?) and Five KNOWS this because he saw him get shot by a tank in 1963. ○ Thank god at least SOME part of his love for his family and protective instincts survived this season’s character assassination.

I like that the final scene of them all in a circle kind of mimics the ending of season 1 (even if I wish it was a dance sequence instead).

I liked that the ending showed other characters getting to have normal lives (The Swedes, Hazel and Agnes, Grace (even though that doesn’t make sense), The Handler, Dot and Herb, etc). If it had to end in a bitter way, I like that we got even this small comfort.

TLDR

Overall, while the season wasn’t entirely unbearable to watch, the small, momentary Pros are heavily outweighed by the Cons that either break the show’s logic, assassinate the characters, or are storytelling choices that leave longtime fans like myself dissatisfied.

3.65/10

#is it my fault for having so much hope? no—it's Steve Blackman who is wrong #I'm not saying what it is—but the series finale being so bad is what finally pushed me to post a ua fanfic I'd had in my drafts for 2 years #it's so funny how many dormant fics have been updated because of this lmao #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #ua #umbrella academy season 4 #ua season 4 #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #lila pitts #long post

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sa1808fi · 3 months ago

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Guhhh thoughts on Emmet himself saying in tlm2 that the reason he struggled with "getting tougher" was because he heavily struggles to cope with change.... and subsequently subcontiously misses the simplicity of living in Bricksburg despite having learned what it really was (totalitarian dystopia with the careful disguise of a utopia)....

You ever think about how much more tragic Rex becomes with that revelation...

I think that despite how aggressively Rex sticks to his new personality and lifestyle, there's always going to be something in him that misses what life was like before. That ignorance to the world around him and how people treated him was what kept him going, following the instructions.

Once Emmet learns about the existence of master builders, he has to deal with the fact that the ignorance he's lived in his whole life kept him blind to a lot of things. The system he obeyed and believed was actually repressing a lot of people, whole other worlds existed, and there was some kind of other realm that only he could see.

That's a lot of shit to throw at a guy in one day.

And yet Emmet manages to roll with all of the insane stuff happening to him pretty quickly. He comes up with a replacement for a broken wheel, saves them all from drowning with his double decker couch, comes up with a good plan to infiltrate Octan (That ended up being closer to winning than any other plan), and he even manages to talk down Business to stopping his evil plan!

Emmet is finally happy because he managed to find his sense of self between all that chaos. He's a master builder, The Special, and he has friends now!

Then Apocalypseburg comes along. Those instructions that his whole life revolved around don’t exist anymore (at least not as intensely), Lucy and everyone else got sucked into the tough-gritty mentality that everyone else took on.

Emmet never cared to change like that himself. Surfer Dave wanted to be Chainsaw Dave instead? Ok cool, Emmet's still gonna treat him the same as always.

Emmet is perfectly content with doing whatever he wants now, and he no longer feels the need to go along with everyone else because he has friends that care about him now. And something about the aggressiveness of the apocalypseburgian lifestyle isn't that appealing to him.

Now, everyone treats him as an outcast for not fitting in compared to the previous complaints of him being 'too normal'. Emmet ignores these comments because he's fine with his life. He still listen's to 'Everything Is Awesome', greets people on the street, and lives in his own little world, ignorant to the world around him.

Then his friends get kidnapped, he meets Rex, and he has to face his worldview being shattered again.

He finally starts acting tough because Emmet now believes if he doesn't, then he can't save anyone.

And then it turns out the guy he spent the whole time trusting is this future version of himself that got abandoned by everyone he was currently trying to save.

That HURTS man.

And that's not even going on how Rex is feeling. The man has to come face to face with a younger more naive version of himself that hasn't faced the horrors he had.

Rex has to deal with this version of himself that still talks about Apocalypseburg fondly, and thinks back to his friends without any hatred.

How Rex feels about his past homes will change depending on the timeline.

During the 5 years in Undar, Rex slowly came to the 'realization' that none of his friends actually wanted to come and find him. He's left there to just look back at all of his good memories as a way to pass the time.

However, once the knowledge of his 'uselessness' sinks in, those rose-tinted glasses are ripped away from him. All of the mistreatment he suffered in Bricksburg and Apocalypseburg is going to slap him in the face.

Right out of Undar and until the events of the second movie, he doesn't look back at Bricksburg, or even Apocalypseburg with bittersweetness. It's just rage. He does his best to just keep it out of his mind because he's trying to focus on his plans, but when it does engulf his thoughts?

All he can remember is the betrayal, the constant side comments, the attempts to make him change himself. All of that just fans the firey rage that's settled into his heart.

The second movie is the first time in years that he's had to actually face his past as Emmet. Until then it was just occasional outbursts at the thought of either place or people.

So here's Emmet, the him that hasn't been scarred by the unfairness of the world. The him that still lives in that blissful ignorance. The him that believes people care.

Rex changed himself until he was practically unrecognizable (Even to himself), because he was running under the logic that if he didn't, then he really was useless.

He took up an adventurous lifestyle, pulling off dangerous stunts to further distance himself from the safe way he used to live. The fucker decided to go to the past to get velociraptors because he thought it would be cool.

Still, some tiny part of him longs for the days when he lived in naivety, when the knowledge of how the world actually works didn't weigh down on him, when he didn't have to grapple with the fact that people didn't like him.

But alas, He's seen too much at this point.

‘ignorance is bliss’ and all that jazz.

#rex dangervest #emmet brickowski #the lego movie #the lego movie 2 #lego movie #lego movie 2 #Change is a complicated thing #I wouldn't say emmet handles change badly #quite frankly he adapts to situations quickly #So many examples in both movies #Emmet can handle change #it just if you want to change who he is... well #You're gonna need to find one hell of a motivator #God I love your asks #I had fun with this #the gut wrenching angst man #saffi's asks #saffi's rambles

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schizosamwincester · 2 months ago

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So, November 5, in addition to being a) my birthday, b) Destiel day, c) @buncoreclown 's birthday, d) election day in America, and e) guy fawkes day, is also the fifth anniversary of my psychotic break. And just. Goddamn. Half a fucking decade.

For me, a delusion onset very, very suddenly. There were a few passing thoughts of it in the days before, but it pretty much hit all at once at about 5:35. The delusion came on really strong with instant, intense tactile hallucinations, and I started dissociating and never completeness stopped until I started T not even a month ago.

Schizophrenia is neurodevelopmental, so in a lot of ways I've been schizophrenic my whole life. I very much have always had the schizophrenic thought patterns. My brain has always grabbed onto ideas too hard, my thoughts have always been scattered, I've always been rambly, I've always been obsessive. That said, there's a huge difference between that latent schizophrenia and me being actively schizophrenic. All of those symptoms got worse in the after. And tomorrow marks 5 years of living as an honest-to-god schizophrenic.

Despite how much worse my symptoms are now than they were before, it's so much better to be living in the after because now I understand that none of it is normal and can deal with it and be gentle to myself about it. I'm not just incapable of getting my shit together—I deal with an actual thing called disorganized thinking that makes it incredibly difficult to keep a train of thought a lot of the time. I'm not just stubborn—I have actual delusions, so it is really hard to let go of ideas. And I don't just "babble," as my mother would say—rambling and tangents are how my brain works and I shouldn't have to stop that just because it isn't normal. Lots of people love hearing my long-ass rants.

But that's not really what I'm thinking about today. I'm just thinking about how despite the fact that November 5, 2019 still defines me and every facet of my current life was caused by what happened that day, it is now 5 years later. I've spent 5 years in the after. I've spent more time being "recovered" than I ever did in active psychosis. And it is just strange that something that happened a half-decade ago when I was still in high school is still so definitive. I have been living on my own for a year. I've been working as a CNA for 2 and a half years. My life is nothing like it was when I was a high schooler in my parents house (well, except for the fact that I still write and read too much fanfic), but I do still think about that event not necessarily daily, but at least weekly.

Five years is a long time, and I'm very glad to be alive and, despite everything, coping with it all extraordinarily well. Don't get me wrong. I'm still definitely disabled. I've got my life set up very carefully to work around my limitations, and I'm also just really lucky to have found about the one affordable apartment in walking distance from everything important in all of America (schizophrenia is why I don't drive). But still, like... I've made it to 5 fucking years out. Just being alive and functional by then was almost incomprehensible to me by like, November 8, 2019.

Five goddamn years. Given how hard it is and how much I just take everything one day and one week at a time, it is so weird to step back and realize I've been living with schizophrenia for that long.

Okay. That's all. Back to my regularly scheduled fandom bullshit.

#schizospec education #i guess?#personal #tw mental health

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narnian-neverlander · 2 years ago

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Reaching Out [Adam Warlock x GN!Reader]

Plot Summary: The Sovereign are responsible for some of the biggest tragedies in your life. But when you meet one of them that just seems different, you find yourself reevaluating your stance and reaching out to him.

Word Count: 1,6k

Warnings: Guardians 3 spoilers, talk about canon typical violence

A/N: Haven’t written/posted sth in about… 5-6 years??? But of course Will Poulter being a literal and figurative golden boy is what gets me back to it 🤷

This was really just supposed to be a prelude to a scenario I actually wanted to write, but it kinda got away from me, so have it on it’s own

Best friend or not, when you’d come back from a mission of your own to learn that Rocket’s kleptomaniac tendencies had put you smack dab in the middle of a crossfire with the Sovereign, you’d had half a mind to stuff and mount him to a wall. You’d spent almost your entire life hiding from that nation and now you were back on their radar. After just barely escaping Ego and the Sovereign army by the skin of your teeth, you’d immediately started packing, ready to run and hide again; they would come for you, that hadn’t been a question of if, but when. And you would not put your newfound family at risk by staying with them.

Except… they’d refused to let you leave. Every last one of them. They’d sat you down and demanded an explanation at the very least, so you’d done just that. Told them about how the Sovereign had considered your people a threat, an abomination even, due to your shapeshifting abilities. About the destruction of your planet, your people and finally finding a temporary safe haven on the little mud-ball known as earth. It’d been quiet for a long moment after that, then Gamora had shrugged and with a very blunt ‘What’s one more target on our backs?’ the discussion was over and Drax was carrying your bags back to your room before you could utter a single word of protest. You would never admit it to any of them, but you’d cried yourself to sleep that night. People you could rely on, who’d risk their lives for you - you hadn’t had that in a very long time.

The memory of that day had been fresh on your mind when your retrieval mission at Orgocorp’s headquarters had gone sideways; severely outnumbered with the Sovereign and the High Evolutionary’s lackeys on their way, you’d gladly stayed behind to give your friends a clean escape. The fact that you’d ended up in the hands of the people you’d been hiding from your whole life didn’t matter if it meant giving the others a chance to save Rocket.

You’d only arrived on Knowhere to the aftermath of the attack of the Sovereign’s newest weapon, but whatever you’d been expecting hadn’t been… him. He was different from any Sovereign you’d ever come across. The golden-skinned race of people weren’t exactly known to be particularly individualistic or open-minded, but the Warlock constantly asked questions in such innocence and naivety, it was almost endearing - and frustrating to the High Priestess to no end. The incredulous bark of laughter that had escaped you when he’d flat out told her that he did not like how hurting people made him feel had earned you a few new bruises to the face from the annoyed woman, but it’d been worth it. There was something absolutely hysterical to you about their perfect super weapon apparently having just a bit too much of a mind of his own, only further proven when he’d openly opposed his mother and had insisted on keeping the Ravager’s pet as his companion.

And then he’d saved Peter. Unprompted, a choice all his own; maybe the very first of it’s kind he’d made. As baffling as it had been, you’d seen a lot during your travels of the universe, so maybe, just maybe, a Sovereign with a kind heart wasn’t completely unthinkable. So when you leave the cantina, tears still fresh in your eyes from having said goodbye to some of the people you called family, and find him sitting hunched over on a flight of stairs, dirty, bruised and looking so incredibly lost and alone, you decide to do the unthinkable yourself: you reach out.

There’s plenty of people buzzing about, already repairing the damage the battle did to Knowhere and helping the new arrivals settle in. You grab a blanket from one of them as you pass and weave your way through the crowd. He doesn’t even realize he’s your target until you drape the blanket over his shoulders, making him flinch in the process. Wide, surprised eyes follow your movements as you settle down next to him on the stairs, but he pulls the fabric tighter around himself anyways. There’s a beat of awkward silence during which you realize you hadn’t exactly thought this approach through in it’s entirety, but there is one thing that comes to mind that you decide to ask him about. “You know, between you trying to kill us, my best friend almost dying and some lunatic almost destroying our home… I don’t think I ever actually caught your name. It can’t just be the Warlock, can it?”

“Adam. My name is Adam.” he answers and you give an acknowledging nod as you hold out your hand to him. “Alright, it’s nice to kinda officially meet you, Adam. I’m (y/n).” He stares at your offered hand with furrowed brows and it occurs to you that in all likelihood, the guy has no idea what a handshake even is. “I’m fully aware of who you are; (y/n), the shifter.” Dropping your hand back into your lap, you honestly feel like backing off and just leaving him be. But you don’t. “Right… I’m sure Ayesha told you everything about me…” He seems to brighten at the mention of his mother, but it’s gone just as quickly and replaced by the same exhaustion he’s had in his eyes since you approached him. “She did. To help me with my mission, she gave me very detailed reports on all of you. But-“

Soft music playing from the speakers above you interrupts him and a light chuckle leaves your lips as you recognize the band as one of your favorites from earth; you catch Rocket’s eye from across the square and he gives you a grin and a wink, earning a shake of your head and a laugh in return. Bringing your attention back to the golden man beside you, you find his focus on the crowd and your friends, curiosity written all over his features, accompanied by a small, albeit sad smile. He’d quite obviously never seen a celebration before, had had no victories to celebrate. Hadn’t known the sacrifices that so often went hand in hand with triumph.

“But…?” you prompt gently and he brings his golden eyes back to you. He studies you for a long moment and you’re honestly not quite sure what exactly it is he’s looking for, but he seems to find it all the same. “But… I’m starting to think she was… mistaken about some of it. The things mother told me about the Guardians, specifically about you… don’t align with what I’ve seen for myself.” Humming thoughtfully, you start tapping your foot along to the song as the crowd starts letting loose and picking up pace. “Well… forming your own opinions, your own path? Admitting that not everything that you were taught is necessarily the right thing? That’s all part of growing up. Of becoming your own person. It’s a good thing.” He vehemently shakes his head at that. “It doesn’t feel good. My stomach hurts and it’s like I can’t breathe and I feel so… so…” He struggles to find the right words, but you know exactly what he’s talking about; you’ve been there yourself. “Small? Helpless? Despite your powers?” When he nods in affirmation, you continue. “What you’re feeling is fear. You’re scared. Scared about change, about the unknown that now lies in front of you. It’s perfectly normal, everybody gets scared sometimes.”

If possible, his shoulders slump further and he seems to curl into himself even more. In spite of his tall stature, he seems so incredibly small in that very moment and it makes your heart clench. “Everybody gets scared… I don’t have everybody to guide me, though. I do not have anyone left...” You don’t mean to, you truly don’t, but you can’t help the inelegant snort that escapes you at that; one that erupts into full blown laughter when he gives you a look that can only be described as somewhere between scandalized and actually hurt. “Please”, you manage between wheezes, “you really think we’re gonna save your life and then leave you to fend for yourself? Nah, you can stay here with us - only if you want, of course.” He blinks at you, once, twice, before he says “But… I tried to kill you?” His deadpan delivery makes you laugh yet again, even if it is the truth. “Yeah, we’ve all tried to do that to each other at one point or another, actually.” You find Nebula, gleefully dancing with some of the kids and a grin spreads across your face. “Some on more than one occasion. But here we are, one big, happy, messed up family.”

Adam still looks as puzzled as ever; why would you willingly form a family with people who’d tried to murder you? It’s obvious he’s overwhelmed with… everything, really, so you decide to drop the big, life changing conversation topics for now as you get up and dust yourself off. “Listen, all I’m saying is, you’ve got people here who are similar to you in some ways. Maybe sticking around and learning from them could help you. Either way, I think you’d fit in just fine around here, golden boy.” Big, hopeful, golden eyes follow your movements as you offer your hand to him yet again. “Come on, let’s go find you a place to rest up, okay?” There’s no confusion or hesitation this time as he takes your outstretched hand and let’s you pull him to his feet. Despite the state he’s in, he’s warm, you note, like a bunch of tiny golden suns are burning right under his skin. And as you tug him along behind you, through small alleys and groups of dancing people, he holds on tight and you decide you like how his hand feels in yours.

#adam warlock x reader #adam warlock x you #gn reader #adam warlock #gotg vol 3 #adam warlock fluff #guardians of the galaxy #mcu #will poulter #my writing

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pass1onepr1ncess · 8 months ago

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Source Memories

I wanted to gather all my thoughts and find a place to put down everything that I remember about source, and I know people love headcanons posts on this site and this is kinda like that in a way so I figured "Why the hell not?" I would like to add that while these are from my memories of the events of Vento Aureo, some of them are also from my life afterwards. I don't have a ton of memories from after we all left Rome, but there's a couple. I stayed in Naples for about a year after that, but then I left and never saw any of them again, so.

Giorno

He was already pretty tall at 15. I think he was, like, 5"9'? I didn't know at the time, but now that I have extra knowledge I'm fairly sure it's because of the Dio/Jonathan genes. Those guys were fucking huge. I wouldn't be surprised if Giorno had grown up to be at least 6"0. However, I left Naples around the time we both turned 17 and he was about 5"11', so not quite. But again, I left and we were both still growing.

He wasn't white. He didn't have a whole lot of Japanese features from his mom, but his skin tone was one of them. He was more tanned than myself, which to be honest wasn't saying much but y'know. He wasn't the darkest either, though. In fact, he was still on the lighter side of the group.

His hair was extremely voluminous. And shiny. I think I only ever saw him take out his braid once, but oh my God. I think I asked him if he used a hair mask or something and he said no but that he used coconut oil, I think.

I don't think he was an actual vampire like his father, I don't think it was really genetic. Not in my source, anyway. But he did have a set of fucking canines on him. Also, he yawns like a cat. Narancia and I watched him do it once and saw his teeth and looked at each other because I don't think either of us had ever seen anyone with teeth closer to fangs than Giorno's.

He liked humming things. I don't really know what music he was thinking about or if it was even actual songs he was humming, but he hummed little tunes a lot. It wasn't very loud, and I could tell it was just to himself. He had a smooth humming voice, though. It made me wonder what he would sound like if he ever sang, but I never got the chance to hear that.

He was one of the few people in the group who didn't drink. Pretty sure Bruno offered him some wine once, but he turned it down and said that he didn't drink. That was the only thing he ever said about it, though.

Gay trans man. You could see his top surgery scars from the window in his shirt he always kept open.

Bruno

I don't think he had ever lived there, but you could tell by his physique and facial features that his family was extremely Greek. Also, Bruno was probably the palest out of all of us. He spent more time than the others in the turtle both to guard me and to keep out of the sun. And even when he went out, he put on sunscreen almost everytime he left. I never saw him get burned, but that could also just be because he was careful. Not sure if he really was prone to sunburn or if he was just overly-cautious. I wouldn't put it past him either way.

He was very strict. I didn't know any of them that much at all while I was with all of them, despite everything that happened. Bruno made sure that we were all aware that I was "The Mission" and that none of them were supposed to get close to me or get attached. He made sure I knew, as well. Told me not to talk to them too much so I wouldn't form a bond with them. However, things obviously changed after Venice. But by then, we hardly had time to talk at all. In the end, I didn't know Bruno that much before he died, but I could tell that he started to care about me despite being the one who insisted I was off-limits. I know the fandom likes the idea of him being an adoptive father to me, but to be honest he felt more like a protecticve older brother.

His eyes were a very dark blue that very much seemed almost black in the shadow. But when we were outside, you could tell that they were more of a deep cerulean.

He was hopelessly in love with Leone. Had absolutely no chance of hiding it even if he wanted to, and he didn't want to. He would look at her like Flynn Ryder looked at Rapunzel in the floating lights scene in Tangled. Leone wasn't fond of PDA, so they never actually even showed many signs of their relationship even with their own squad around. But you could tell from Bruno alone that they had something special. I remember before everything really got dangerous, seeing him look at her like that made me hope that I'd find someone like that someday.

That little black part of his suit wasn't lingerie. Not in my source, at least. The way it moved with his clothes made it clear that it wasn't a tattoo, either. It was just a part of his shirt.

His zippers didn't leave scars unless the parts he had unzipped were left unzipped for too long. The longer they were unzipped, the more prominent the scars were. I had/have (in headspace) the one on my wrist, and it's pretty prominent because 1) the zipping wasn't the original cause of the injury and 2) the zipper popped when he died and before Giorno brought him back. The scars they left behind were also zipper-shaped. Like the teeth, I mean.

He liked being near the ocean. I think the sound of it put him at ease and helped clear his mind or something, I'm not entirely sure. He just liked being by the water. It wasn't the same if we were more inland with rivers or something. He just seemed more relaxed when we were specifically by the sea. I didn't know why back then, but now I know that it must've reminded him of home.

Leone

Black transwoman. It was never my business what surgeries she had, but I know she was on HRT. She wore her hair in micro braids, and her roots were a much darker purple than her braids. I'm pretty sure her hair was naturally purple, but it was braided with yarn which is where that lavender color came from. She was the second darkest in the group.

She... didn't talk much. Much preferred her own company over anyone else's- except for Bruno, but she never liked to be too close with him while anyone else was in the room. If I didn't talk much with anyone else in the group, I hardly spoke to Leone at all. But even then, I think we both knew that amidst the group of almost all men, we both shared a bond since we were the only two girls. Since she didn't talk much and I wasn't allowed to talk, there were times where we would be listening to the boys' conversation and hear something strange and we would both look at each other from across the room in that gossipy sort of "Did you hear that, too?" kind of way. But, that was kind of the extent of my interactions with Leone. I'm sure if we were given the chance, we would've gotten along. She probably could've been a really cool older sister.

She really liked her wine. I don't think there was a moment at any point on the trip when she was with us that there wasn't at least one bottle of red wine among the group at least. She would sometimes send Mista or Narancia to get extra bottles when she was running low. Bruno said something at one point about her drinking on a mission, but she waved him off and reassured him that she'd be fine. She spaced her glasses out just enough that she wouldn't get drunk, so I can only assume she'd been used to drinking on the job and knew how to handle herself. She offered me a glass once. In any other circumstances I might've accepted, but I was too on-edge and paranoid then. I wanted to stay as alert as I could be, even before the whole San Giorgio Maggiore debacle. Bruno reprimanded her for offering it to me, though. Said that I was too young to drink. She said that he doesn't seem to mind Fugo, Mista, or Narancia drinking, and he replied with something about it being different with them. That I had a whole life ahead of me that didn't need to be tainted with alcohol. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had already drank with my mother before.

I never left the turtle when we were in Sardinia. Bruno had instructed me to stay put and that they'd let me know when we were safely off the island. When everyone else came back, no one told me what had happened. Not specifically, just that they ran into some trouble. Hardly any of them even spoke to each other for the first few hours on the boat. But when we left without Leone and when I saw everyone's expressions, I knew. It was a weird feeling because I remember thinking to myself that I was grateful that Bruno had told me not to get attached. I was grateful I didn't know her, but I still felt sad. It definitely hit Bruno the hardest. Narancia was more outwardly expressive with his feelings, but I could tell Bruno was... I don't even know how to describe it. He just looked miserable, like someone had just ripped a piece of his soul from him. Giorno checked on me a couple times, I think we were in a similar boat (metaphorically speaking). He had only joined the squad for a little bit, so he also wasn't entirely close to Leone. He was the only one in a semi-stable frame of mind to be checking up on others. Mista just sat off to the side by himself, taking apart his pistol and putting it back together again over and over. The Sex Pistols were worried about him, but he ignored them until it was time to feed them.

Fugo

There's gonna be so little about him on this list because we hardly spoke at all before Venice and then he left and I never saw him again so... Idk.

He made it clear by his facial expressions that he did NOT like me. Like a mixture of anger and suspicion. I knew this even before reading PHF, but reading the book and getting his perspective on it made a lot of things make sense. He was suspicious because I didn't talk and was distant, especially considering I was related to The Boss. I understand, and I don't blame him. I kinda wish I could talk to him again and explain myself a bit, but I think Sheila E helped him understand my side a bit as well even thought I never met her. I'm sure the events of PHF did happen in my source, but I wasn't around to witness them. I left Naples before it all went down, I never saw Fugo again after Venice.

I think he had the same feelings towards me as he did towards Giorno. We were both New(TM) and I think he was both upset that his routine and daily life had been disrupted and changed and also just generally suspicious of us.

Out of everyone, he seemed closest to Leone. He obviously had a bond with Bruno, as did everyone else on the team, but he stuck around Leone like he was her clingy younger brother. She didn't seem to mind, which I was a bit surprised about given how she was. I'm sure she might've protested at some point, but I guess they had been teamed together long enough that she gave up trying to push him away and got used to it. They kinda looked like that "Excuse me, he asked for no pickles" meme lmao.

Mista

He was. Really creepy towards me. Not excessively so, like he wasn't being a weirdo in general he just. It was clear that the only other woman he had ever really actually hung out with was Leone and he didn't really know how to process that I had boobs or that I showed a lot of skin in my outfits. I know he didn't mean to be so weird about it, but it was enough that I have a permanent distaste for him. Like the time in the van when he was whispering (badly whispering, btw, I could hear every word) to Fugo about my boobs and I just kept looking out the window pretending I couldn't hear because I felt so awkward and gross about it. I kept wishing Leone would take her headphones off and smack him or something, anything to make him shut up. And then Bruno slammed on the brakes and Fugo went flying into my chest and gratefully he was normal about it and tried to apologize and I think he felt just as awkward and embarassed about it as I did- but then Mista had to make it even weirder for all of us! He just. I didn't like him and I still don't. Not all Mistas, just the one from my source. He makes me wildly uncomfortable and the fact that he was 18 while I was 15 makes it. I just try not to think about it!

He smelled, like, REALLY bad. He constantly smelled like sweat and onions but then he would douse himself in an UNGODLY amount of Calvin Klein cologne to cover it up like that was an acceptable replacement for a shower. But then the cologne was just too much and it smelled like chemicals. Also, those pants were real zebra leather. Do you have any idea how insane you have to be to wear actual leather pants in summer? In Italy?? In Naples????? We swapped bodies and I swear to God this man's legs were drenched with sweat and the leather would stick to the skin and it was a HORRID sensory experience. Not to mention the fact that he was also even weirder about him being in MY body.

The Sex Pistols were pretty cool, at least. They were fun to talk to. I'd give them snacks sometimes when Mista wasn't around because he didn't like them eating when it wasn't meal time.

I'm, like, 95% sure he did actually have OCD. It wasn't just the 4s thing, either. Sometimes he would have to spin the cylinder of his pistol a few times before it "felt right" so he could actually shoot. Or turning a doorknob multiple times before opening the door, or retracing his steps on the sidewalk before moving forward. I don't mean this in a bad way, I just genuinely think he had OCD and that's okay. If he did, it's not like it was his fault.

Pretty sure he was cishet. Or maybe not straight, but I'm fairly sure he was cis. But also, I didn't know much about any of them and could be absolutely wrong! Also he was some kind of latino but I never asked about specifics so that's all I know.

Narancia

Nara is the hardest to think about, I think. I've always thought that if we were given the chance to have known each other in any other context that we could've been really good friends. Maybe even more? I'm not even sure myself, to be honest, But I know I have strong feelings about him. He ignored Bruno's whole spiel about not getting attached to The Mission and would sneak into the turtle to hang out with me. It was fun. He kept me company, which was nice because I was so intensely bored. The guys didn't give me anything to do other than just sit around in the turtle, but I know even then that I was having a better time than they were, so I can't exactly complain.

He let me in on a decent chunk of the gang gossip. Not a whole lot, but he told me about Polpo and the arrow before it became a whole thing. He didn't know about the whole Requiem thing, but he knew the arrow gave people stands. It was how he got Aerosmith when he first joined the gang.

He was Indian, I'm pretty sure. and Genderfluid. I don't know what his sexuality was, but I think he may have had a crush on me? Like I said before, I don't know. There was, maybe the start of something between us that we didn't have enough time for. Too much going on at the time for that.

He had already seemed keen on wanting to befriend me even before we got to Venice, but he seemed to stick pretty close after we left the Church. I didn't know then about the "Trish is me" thing because I was unconscious for that, but it was clear that his motivations had changed from "I'm going to protect you because I was told to" to "I'm going to protect you because I understand you." He was almost always in arms length of me after that, like if he got too far he wouldn't be able to save me. Which is kinda funny considering that his stand was long distance, but it was sweet.

Given that he was the only one in the gang who had genuinely tried to form a connection with me despite the circumstances- and specifically the way it happened- his death hit me the hardest. He was going on about how he wanted to go back to school and all these things he wanted to do when we got back and then all of a sudden just. He was gone. I was homeschooled before my mother got sick, and I didn't really have any friends. Narancia was the first person who I felt somewhat close to, someone I could call a friend. And even though I knew him for a very short time, he impacted me in a way that only my mother had before. And yet, when he died, I couldn't cry. I was too scared and on edge and Aware that Diavolo was nearby. But a few months later when Giorno and Mista helped to set up a funeral, when I saw how empty the church was and how Mista and Giorno were the only ones there, I broke down. He was right, we were extremely similar. Just like me, he lost the people who cared about him and was betrayed by people he thought he could trust. And he was so bright, despite it all. Even though he had been hurt, he still carried a smile and tried to make his friends laugh. He didn't let his pain dampen his positivity, and he was hopeful to the very end. And the fact that he was the one in a casket when I hadn't done anything to deserve my seat at his service, the fact that he died protecting someone who probably didn't deserve it. I couldn't take it. I don't think that way anymore, and I'll forever be grateful to him for what he did for me. Both in protecting me and being my friend. I try to stay positive and keep my head up because it's what I think he would do. That way, he never truly dies.

I tried to look up what kind of flowers Giorno grew over hia body in canon, but I couldn't find anything that quite matched how they're drawn. But at least in my memories, they were pumpkin blossoms.

Anyway, here's your little reminder that my asks are open if anyone wants to talk about source. I'll answer any question as long as it's not weird or creepy.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #golden wind #jojo part 5 #jjba golden wind #jjba vento auero #giorno giovanna #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #leone abbacchio #panacotta fugo #fugo pannacotta #mista guido #narancia ghirga #System Posting #source memories

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jaragirl · 2 months ago

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I have so many thoughts circulating in my mind about Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo 😭 esp ep 5 & 6

I don’t know if I can adequately express any of it but I have to try

This show is so fucking beautiful and so sad it’s sadly beautiful. Every scene is touched with melancholy that’s just lingering around each frame.

Even when the characters should be happy, should be content- Do Hoe, who’s supposedly accomplished everything he set out to do, is so removed & out of touch he can’t enjoy it (pills & alcohol) and even when he tries to share it with Ju Yeong they’re not happy and most of that has to do with how closed off Do Hoe is. How absolutely terrified he is to be vulnerable to be “caught” out and how incapable Ju Yeong is of being anything but open 😭 even Hyeon Ho who out of guilt and love is helping Do Hoe cover up the fact that he did not go to that prestigious Uni (IMO), who’s spent the past 10 years next to Do Hoe and is still no closer to him despite everything he’s given him (connections, job, apartment etc.) ughhhhhhh my heart aches for everyone…everyone’s hurting

Some other things I’ve been thinking about in no particular order

- I don’t know if Do Hoe & Ju Yeong will make it. Do Hoe’s insistence on leaving the past which is really him avoiding his trauma is not gonna allow them to be truly intimate again or happy. It’ll shrink & freeze Ju Yeong if he continues to placate Do Hoe just like it has Hyeon Ho. They also have nothing in common anymore. They don’t need to save each other and they don’t need to run away. So unless they have something they want to build together like a ::taekwondo gym:: I don’t see it working 😭

- Also we have to return to taekwondo 🥋 right?! Like that’s what is actually going to free Do Hoe. He has to face the violence of the sport he loved and the person he loves and himself if he’s going to start to heal. I can see them sparing or Ju Yeong using it as a way to get Do Hoe to break down his walls

- Ju Yeong will have to lay down his cross, as in, he cannot continue to be Jesus sacrificing himself (physically & emotionally) for the people he loves and wants to protect especially when no one has ever protected him 😭 he’s so Jesus coded literally forgiving Do Hoe’s father (we could see this from how he fed him from his hand), wanting to take up the mantle of his “father’s” work, how he offers compassion to Do Hoe after he learns he called the cops

- There’s so many religious layers to this cause Do Hoe is filled w/ so much shame and guilt for at one point having loved his father, the anger that has the potential to consume him, allowing his lover to take beatings for him so he could continue pretending/surviving, the lying he’s doing about University, the lying he’s doing about saying he never thinks of the past (it’s still so clearly controlling him)

- The irony of Ju Yeong’s happiest time being when they first fell in love, even though he was being abused throughout, and it being a time that Do Hoe feels tortured thinking about 😭 they are not in the same place at all emotionally

- Also I’m not totally convinced Do Hoe & Hyeon Ho haven’t had a drunken hookup at least once. They practically live together. I feel like Hyeon Ho’s penance for abandoning there budding romantic feelings & rejecting it before it could even start/becoming a bully is tied to the apartment, the car & the job Do Hoe has. He’s just been trying to earn back the chance to touch Do Hoe again and 😭 idk in some ways he feels better suited to who Do Hoe is proclaiming to be than Ju Yeong

- Lastly, what’s with the chapstick!! It’s a symbol for queerness right?! Was the 1st time we saw Do Hoe use it supposed to be a signifier for a queer character?? The fact that Ju Yeong after being with Do Hoe begins using it too?? Will we see Hyeon Ho “come out” & use chapstick too?! (I refuse to believe it’s just product placement or insignificant)

Anyway I love this show!! It’s perfect and it’s heartbreaking and I wish I could get 15 more of them right now

#let free the curse of taekwondo #hwang da seul #korean bl #thoughts #to my star 2 #the feels #the pain #it hurts so good

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partywithoutsmiling · 5 months ago

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In the wanderer branch au do poppy and branch ever realize their feelings for each other will they end up forming any romantic relationship. Both Rock beast au and Moonlit au mentioned with the beast au both have yet to talk about anything for obvious reasons and the moonlit au it's pretty obvious that they'll end up together. But I have yet read anything about possible relationship it's hinted and I'm curious is there any chance.

Hmmmmm, that's a tough one honestly

To mention both the other AUs, as you say, in Moonlit AU, Poppy is just thirsting after Branch (XD) whereas Branch has to just... sort of deal with her shit while deal with his own 'shit' on top of being stunned she is actually interested in him pff

In Moonlit AU, their relationship (Groppy I believe, when it's Grey Branch), would be rather messy; fueled mostly by physical attraction at first, since Branch is a hard troll to get to know, and he is still very much paranoid and traumatized, and Poppy just has to learn to deal with that. I expect lots of arguments, since they will be still disagreeing on lots of things- and the relationship will be rather rocky, up until the first movie plot happens

(I know I said Moonlit AU was more of a feature than an actual AU, but I do have some rough thoughts for it XD)

Rock Beast AU is pretty much the both of them following canon rather closely; Branch is already having feelings- and had them for a long time- while Poppy probably harbours some as well buuuut is very distracted by the notion of being good queen that she hardly focuses on the signals Branch is sending (and honestly, who could blame her, the last time she focused on 'signals' was with Creek and he turned out to be a 'bit' of a sleaze ball)

In perfect world, they would get their happy ending at the end of World Tour, where Poppy is forced to speed-analyze what she feels about Branch when he essentially sacrificing to her- and coming on top with not even hinting at having doubts that when Branch says he loves her, that he loves her

That did not happen, obviusly. Yes, Branch 'sacrificed' for her, and the force of him getting hit knocked her out- but when she came to, she was overcame with guilt- something that stayed with her for the rest of her solitary imprisonment with Beast!Branch as her only company.

Branch still very obviously showed her actions of care after their escape, even with his inability to speak, but if anyhting that only made her feel guilty more XD

It was this guilt that made her not allow herself to really focus on any romantic feelings she might have for him thorough the whole Plot of Rock Beast AU- mostly she was just afraid for him tbh

It was only after everything was done and over, after they had the chance to pass out, that any love confessions came whispered from Branch- and Poppy definitelly cries XD

Now, for Wanderer AU.

Tbh, this AU deviates the farthest from canon. In canon, Branch spent his lonely outcast life living at the fringe of the village, clinging to any little kindness Poppy was showing him, while unable to show much of the same in turn- in fact deliberately pushing her away for fear of causing her harm. But that did not stop him from longing for her, and certainly did not stop him from going up to the surface to at least catch a glimpse of her.

In Wanderer AU, Branch left when he was cca 19yo. Going roughly by movie age (as confirmed or unconfirmet it is), that would put Poppy at least 5 years younger, so cca 14;

Any longing Branch had towards her at that age was for the kindness she was showing him- yes, he was drawn to her, but in the rather 'this person is the sun and I am so cold' kinda way.

She did cross his mind as he was traveling over the years of course, but in general it was just 'how is she doing', 'did she notice I am gone', 'does she care'. A person can become your focus if you feel at least subconsciously that they are making your life marginally better- and Poppy made Branch's life 'better' in that she never gave up on him and always remembered him.

When they have their reunion, they are very different people than they are in the movie; Poppy is definitelly more serious, and perhaps a bit more anxious; not as confident (she did spent the last 5 years or so believing that the actions of her village drew a troll to suicide and no-one but her cared about that fact), while Branch is just... not as dependent on her kindness anymore.

Oh he definitelly notes that she grew up (and I think that gives him a whiplash XD), and he feels touched that she cares that he is alive and well- but her life is not confined to the Pop Village anymore, and to the Pop Tribe in general- he is currently multi-genre, and obviously forming a 'Tribe' of his own (not officially, but he could).

Poppy expects him to return and stay in the village but he just... doesnt want to do that. Not because he is that filled with wanderlust, but because he spent more than ten lonely years in there being treated rather poorly, and who in their right mind would go back to that, especially if they now have support elsewhere- and Poppy cannot comprehend that for quite a while, cause that would force her to come to terms with the fact that Pop trolls did Branch dirty from the very moment he turned grey.

So, as much as I hate to say it, I don't think there is a way for Broppy to work in Wanderer AU- not as we are used to it XD

Mainly because Pop Village is not Branch's home anymore and thus he won't stay, and Poppy cannot imagine a reality where she would give up on being queen and leave her people behind. There is clash of desire and duty (I think at the end of World Tour, there are some obvious sparks, as they will always gravitate towards each other), but it just doesnt work out- and they have to accept that.

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls fandom #ask #anon ask #rock beast au #wanderer!branch au #moonlit au #Doomed romance on that one I am afraid (wanderer AU)

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separatist-apologist · 1 year ago

Text

Lying In Between The Memories

You could call it paradise but it looks just like hell to me

Summary: Following the blood rite, Gwyneth Berdara can't shake the memories of a life long-gone.

The shadowsinger can't seem to move on after five centuries of loving the same woman.

Together, they'll have to carve a new path forward.

[ongoing TW for Sexual Assault]

“Has Rhys responded?”

Azriel groaned, eyes still closed. Sprawled in that same chair she so often caught him napping in, Gwyn had waited impatiently for him to wake. She’d begun to suspect he was faking it, given the lateness of the hour. “Go away, Gwyn.”

“Has he?” she demanded, hovering over him. Azriel’s scent slammed into her, rich and warm and a little salty from sleep. He swung his powerful, long legs from the arm of the couch, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. “No.”

Gwyn sighed with frustration, shoving the book under his nose. “Look at this.”

“I can’t read, remember?” he grumbled, pushing it gently out of his line of sight so he could stand. Azriel’s wings flared outward, nearly knocking Gwyn to her feet in her scramble to avoid touching them.

“Would you like me to read it to you?” she offered with mock sweetness. Azriel’s eyes narrowed even as he stretched his muscular arms up over his head.

“How about silence until I’ve had something to eat?” he suggested unhelpfully.

“How about you eat, and I talk?” Gwyn shot back. If he slithered out, she knew she wouldn’t see him again until nightfall. It had been a week and a half in this miserable palace, and Azriel was gone more often than he wasn’t. In fact, the only times she really saw him were at meals and when Kai was trying to lure her up into his bedroom. The only explanation was Azriel had one of his shadows trailing her for the prince, and alerted him whenever he was nearby so Azriel could watch him, gather information, and return it back to Rhysand.

Azriel exhaled. “Depends on where breakfast is.”

“Oh, well, darling, I had it brought up for you,” Gwyn told him, earning a look so cold it ought to have scared her. Still, she gestured to the tray of food sitting on a silver platter in the middle of their shared table just beside the open window. Gwyn had learned Azriel wouldn’t eat if it meant socializing with Kai, and convinced some of the silent servants to bring meals for him. Azriel thought it was merely servants doing their job, and Gwyn was content to continue to let him think so.

She didn’t think he’d appreciate her poor attempts at taking care of him.

“Don’t call me that,” he mumbled, dragging himself to the table. He’d changed from his fighting leathers into a rumpled pair of loose pants and an equally wrinkled shirt and his typically neat hair looked as though he’d spent the night raking his fingers through it.

She hated how attractive she found him right then. Azriel ruined it not a moment later by plopping in the chair and announcing he had no silverware with which to eat. And maybe she didn’t need to remind him that he’d spent years of his life living in a war camp, so his hands ought to be both familiar and useful to him.

“Thinking about how I use my hands, are you?” he asked without thinking. At least, Gwyn assumed that was the case given his eyes snapped to her face, wide with shock.

“This is why I don’t like you,” she reminded him, dropping into the chair he’d just vacated. Azriel merely arched one of his thick, well-groomed brows before turning to his potatoes and eggs.

“Well?” Azriel asked, looking back up at her. “Are you going to tell me what was so important you needed to wake me”

“Did it ever occur to you that I simply missed your presence?”

Azriel merely stared, lips pressed in a firm line. Sighing, Gwyn stood back up, pulled out the chair beside him, and plunked the book in front of him.

“I’m figuring it out. See this little…squiggle? I’m pretty sure that’s an e.”

“What makes you think so?” he asked, intrigued. Gwyn had never seen Azriel so interested in anything she’d said before, which encouraged her to continue.

“How often it shows up—a lot of times in these three letter chunks. I think it’s proto-fae, which is why I haven’t heard of it. It predated Gwydion, Az. Predates him.”

“Okay,” he said, chewing slowly. “And why is that important?”

Gwyn bit back her exasperation thinking Nesta and Emerie would have understood. A pang of longing rushed through her, silencing her for so long Azriel murmured, “Am I that dumb?”

“No,” she mumbled in response. “Sorry, I…”

Clearing her throat, Gwyn pulled the piece of paper from the center of the book. She’d spent all night testing this theory and if she was right, she wouldn’t need Merrill when she returned. She could have her own study, translating what little works there were for wider academic consultation. Assuming, of course, Helion’s scholars hadn’t cracked the code centuries ago and she was merely wasting her time.

“See here? All these three letter words, always with that same symbol? That’s the, which means I have t and h, too. It’s not a lot, but—”

“It’s brilliant,” he murmured, once again without thinking. Azriel pulled the sheet of paper up, eyes scanning the page she’d carefully copied with enough space line by line to begin working out her code. “If you can figure this out, I could send notes that no one could read—”

“Except me,” she said softly. Azriel’s eyes found her, wide again as he realized what he’d just suggested. Coded notes from his work that only she could read, that would go to her to be deciphered so Gwyn and Azriel would always be working together.

He cleared his throat. “Rhys will want to learn.”

But they both knew that wasn’t what he’d meant. Gwyn nodded, playing along because the alternative was admitting there was some future in which she and Azriel remained in close contact. And once this mission was done, Gwyn had no intention of speaking with him like she did now.

Nor did she plan to continue training with him, which they’d done faithfully four days a week since she arrived. She suspected Azriel would have liked to do more, but Kai often questioned what they were doing on those days, and there were only so many stories of touring the city she could offer before it wasn’t believable.

“You could, though,” Azriel said, his voice so low Gwyn almost thought she hallucinated it. “I’m sure Rhys—”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” she agreed, closing the book shut with too much force. He watched, fork hanging between his plate and his lips. “I don’t want to work for the High Lord. I liked what I do.”

“It wouldn’t be…full time…” he amended, eyes wild. Azriel looked almost nervous. “It could be–”

“I said no.”

“Yes, you’re always saying no with no explanation,” he shot back with that lethal, soft voice. “How anyone has ever managed to be your friend is a mystery.” His fork clattered to the table as he pushed away, wings tucked tight. Gwyn was learning when he looked like that, it was because he was braced for a fight. She was, too. Fighting with Azriel felt good, if only because he was willing to fight her at all. There was no pity when he looked at her, and maybe part of her enjoyed seeing that.

“I don’t want you as a friend,” she lied, though the words were aimed to wound him. Azriel whipped around, his expression burning with cold anger. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, stalking forward. “Because I think—”

“Just because you were there that day doesn’t mean I owe you for it!” she burst out, finally saying the words she’d wanted to since she’d encountered him on that rooftop. Azriel froze, eyes wide again.

“Is that what you think?” he finally asked, his heart pounding so loudly she could hear it echoing around them.

“Don’t you?”

“No,” he replied, running his fingers roughly through his hair. “Cauldron damn me, Gwyn, no, I don’t think that.”

She was a glutton for punishment, pushing this conversation. Gwyn didn’t really want to have it, but Azriel was the only one who knew. Catrin was gone, her friends too far away, and even if they’d been there they wouldn’t really understand. She couldn’t bring herself to even tell them what had happened. But Azriel had seen it. He knew.

“How many did you leave alive?”

“None of them,” he replied, swallowing hard.

Gwyn blinked. “Not…not even to get information—”

“Rhys was pissed,” he whispered, his expression guttered for a brief moment before flickering into careful neutrality. “I slaughtered them all.”

The way he said it made Gwyn think he enjoyed the memory of killing them. There was a savage kind of satisfaction in his eyes, the kind he couldn’t hide from her—maybe from anyone. This was who he was, deep, deep down. A male who’d earned his title not just as the shadowsinger, but the torture master.

“Did they suffer?” she asked, cocking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Not nearly enough,” he all but growled in return. Azriel continued toward her again, eyes ablaze. “And if you think that's what I see when I look at you, you’re wrong.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “What do you see, then?”

Those words, though, broke whatever spell had fallen over them. He halted, shaking his head back and forth. He wasn’t going to tell her. Maybe he didn’t know himself. Gwyn wasn’t sure she even wanted to know what Azriel saw when he looked at her. Too much, if she had to guess. More than she’d ever wanted anyone to see, let alone him.

So Gwyn swallowed, conceding with, “If you want me to teach you my cipher so you can write in code, I’ll teach you once I’ve figured it out. I can transcribe them for Rhys.”

Azriel inclined his head, turning back for his bedroom. His wings were relaxed, though, and his heartbeat steady again. That was all she was going to get out of him—it was clear he felt he’d said too much.

Maybe he had.

But maybe Azriel hadn’t said enough.

AZRIEL:

“You’re back.”

Azriel hadn’t been able to shake the argument from that morning, even after Gwyn had vanished to the library. He hadn’t dared to follow her, though one of his shadows had been hiding in her hair when she departed, which was good enough. He knew everything Kai had said to her, and every smile, laugh, and small touch Gwyn had returned. Which he didn’t care about.

And other lies he was telling himself.

Gwyn looked up from her bedroom, the door open wide. His shadows were already scurrying around her, playing in her hair and whispering all his fucking secrets once again. How long before she began working on a cipher for that?

Azriel gave her another week.

“Fine,” she replied, not looking up from the page she was writing on. He almost told her he was going to bed, but just in case he wanted to talk to her later, he’d leave things open ended. His shadows were occupied, he was on edge…Azriel needed a drink, of which he hadn’t been able to find strong enough to his liking.

The next best thing was stroking himself into madness. At least then he’d sleep. Closing his bedroom door, Azriel took his time peeling off his clothes and bathing himself so if he passed out afterwards, he wouldn’t need to worry about the sweat of the day mucking up his sheets, too. By the time he was done, Azriel was rigid.

The worst part of his erection and his desire was the lies he was trying to tell himself. He couldn’t pretend Gwyn wasn’t under his skin. Blame it on their close proximity and the fact that she was the only person truly talking to him in this terrible place he was growing to truly hate. Or maybe blame it on her beautiful face and those teal eyes that regarded him with such cool disdain.

He didn’t want to investigate it too closely. He just wanted to come. Azriel settled his body on the bed, wings draped behind him before his thighs fell apart. His cock jutted toward the ceiling, thick and already leaking precome. Gripping his shaft, Azriel gave himself permission to think about that fight.

He just wanted to think about her eyes, blazing and bright, staring him down like she might fight him. He’d wanted her to. Hoped she would, that he’d get to pin her to the floor and demand she tell him why she’d stopped training. Maybe he’d pry it out of her, along with all her other secrets like he’d done so many times before.

And maybe she might like it.

Maybe she’d return the favor, even. He could see her putting a knife to his throat as she ordered him to his knees. Azriel groaned at the thought, pleasure skating up his spine. If he didn’t slow himself down, he’d be back to fisting his cock in twenty minutes, unsatisfied with himself.

Azriel slowed his hand, dragging his thumb over the tip through his pooling arousal to lubricate his touch. There was a rough edge to how he fucked himself, blurring the line between pleasure and pain until—

“Az!” Gwyn burst into the room, his shadows dancing around her as they whispered for her to stop. He didn’t move, frozen in place as they stared at each other. She had her book in her hand, paper fluttering to the floor at her feet. Azriel didn’t know what to say, or if he even should. His door was closed, and what he did within those four walls was his business, not hers.

Gwyn’s eyes moved from his face down his body, burning a trail until they reached his hand, still gripping his too excited, too erect cock.

He braced himself, stomach tightening with anticipation for whatever words might fall out of her lips. In a best case scenario, she’d merely flee, refuse to look him in the eyes for a few days, and pretend this never happened.

And worst? Well, she told Rhys she couldn’t work with him and he was replaced with Cassian.

Or Vanserra.

“Close the door,” he finally said, unable to take that blank look on her face. Let him be the asshole, then. Gwyn nodded her head, but rather than leave, she closed her book softly, tossed it just outside his room where it fell with a loud thud, and then closed his bedroom door.

With her inside.

“Gwyn—”

“Don’t stop,” she murmured, gripping the silver handle like it was the only thing anchoring her to this world. Maybe him, too. Azriel didn’t think he’d ever been so excited in his life. She wanted to watch him?

He held her gaze, which bounced between his face and his hand, now slowly working him so she could see the mechanics of it. In a perfect world, her first time would have been of her choosing. And in that other place, when she’d come in on him touching himself, she’d have understood exactly how the male body worked. He almost felt like one of her little research projects.

Gwyn liked information. Of course she’d want to see this, too. And maybe she’d catalog it away for another male—Azriel couldn’t swallow his growl of anger at that hypothetical male, touching this female who was standing in front of him, looking at his cock.

He needed to touch her, too. Whether that was allowed remained to be seen. But for now, maybe she’d touch him.

“Come here,” he whispered, hating how guttural he sounded.

Gwyn tripped forward, all her usual grace replaced with nerves. But she came to him, walking to the bed in that dress. God that dress. He wanted to rip it down the middle, wanted to see what was hiding just beneath.

He didn’t dare touch her. Not yet. Not until she was begging him to, panting his name, whispering in his ear please, Azriel, please, I need you, please—as if such pretty words would ever leave her lips.

He could imagine, though.

Cauldron, but Azriel could picture it so clearly.

Reaching for her delicate wrist, Azriel took his own hand off his cock just long enough to mold her own fingers around him.

“Fuck,” he puffed, arching just a little at the feel of her soft, cool skin gripping him. Her fingers didn’t fit, didn’t meet around the middle of him which pleased the beast writhing in his chest.

Gwyn looked up at him, hair spilling around her face, cheeks flushed, eyes wide. It wasn’t fear he was seeing.

No, it was arousal. He could smell it filling the air, though she didn’t move until his own hand came over hers, gently guiding her over him. “Is this what males like?” she whispered.

“Probably,” he replied, fisting her tighter, until her touch was only cruel. “But this is what I like.”

Gwyn was far too competitive for her own good. She squeezed, too, earning another soft curse to explode from his lips.

“Show me,” she demanded, her shyness ebbing away.

There you are. He thought it unbidden, holding her gaze for a beat before he settled himself in the middle of the bed so she could sit beside him. Gwyn did, knee touching the side of his chest.

“Tell me something,” she began, still stroking him hard enough to make him see stars. Azriel couldn’t pull his own hand away, enjoying the sight of his touch engulfing her own.

“What do you want to know?” he managed, speech all but eluding him.

Gwyn leaned forward, the ends of her soft hair tickling his chest. She reached for his wings, just like that day they’d been flying, and skimmed her fingers along the edge. Azriel groaned, hips bucking unbidden. “That’s what I wanted to know.”

“Again,” he gasped. No one had ever dared to touch his wings like she was, nor would he ever have allowed them. Why he was letting her, Azriel wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter, so long as she did it again. He wanted to teach her exactly where to touch, which spots would end him before he ever truly began, to prolong or heighten his pleasure. How to get him off on nothing but touching his wings alone.

But for now, he just needed her to touch him. Azriel was building like a wild, writhing animal, utterly helpless despite the fact that he was still holding her hand—much like she’d been holding the door not but a few minutes before. Gwyn stroked his cock and his wing in tandem, bringing him so close to the edge he might have thought she was teasing him.

He didn’t know who he was anymore. Didn’t recognize the male that whimpered with pleasure, groaning and panting with desperation. In fact, Azriel couldn’t remember the last time a female had merely fisted his cock without moving on to more pleasurable activities. He thought he might die if she released him, even if she was promising him her mouth.

“Gwyn,” he tried, darkness blurring the edge of his vision. “Gwyn, I—”

Skimming her fingers over his wing one last time, pumping him hard and fast, Azriel came too loudly, embarrassingly loud, even, for someone who prided himself on stealth. He’d tried to warn her, but the moment his come splattered against her hand, Gwyn shot off the bed again, staring down at it with surprise. He could see realization dawning over her features, shattered the spell around them. Like she’d just only realized what they’d been doing and knew without a doubt they shouldn’t have.

She didn’t say a word. She only pulled open the door and closed it behind her, stopping only for her piece of paper on the floor. Azriel wasn’t going to let her escape him that quickly. Scrambling to his feet, still rolling from the force of his orgasm, Azriel washed his hands and threw on a pair of his loose, gray sleep pants. There was no point bothering with a shirt, no point trying to hide his erection tenting his pants.

“Gwyn!” he called, flinging open the door. She returned, shaking water droplets from her hand, her expression betraying absolutely nothing.

“Yes?” Was that how it was going to be, then? She’d touched his wings and wanted to act like it was nothing to her at all? Azriel didn’t think so. He stalked forward while she stepped back, until he had her pushed up against a wall.

“Don’t,” she warned him, jutting her chin in the air.

“I owe you,” he growled, jerking his head back to his bedroom. But Gwyn was shaking her head no, eyes flashing with defiance.

“Not tonight, Azriel.”

Fuck.

She was going to be the death of him.

“Yes, tonight.”

She sighed, her breath sweet against his face. “This isn’t a game, you know.”

“Isn’t it, though?” he replied, well aware of how dangerous he sounded. Any other female would be stammering, would have done what he told them to. Gwyn merely rolled her eyes, arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m not stupid, shadowsinger. You owe me, and then I’ll owe you in an endless loop. I’m here to work, not play with your body.”

“Could have fooled me,” he replied casually, draping his wings over them until they were hidden from the world. “I think you came to do both, if we’re being honest.”

“Well, I didn’t. So you owe me nothing. It was…it was a moment of weakness and nothing more.”

“So I’m your weakness?”

He was in danger of losing his balls if that look on her face was any indication. Azriel couldn’t help himself. He liked their back and forth and even more how she looked at him without an ounce of fear.

“In your dreams.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, catching that flicker of surprise. “I don’t see why this can’t be work and play.”

She hesitated. “What would owing me even mean?”

Azriel cocked his head, pretending to consider. Pretending the mere thought of getting her back wasn’t exciting him all over again. “Do you want to draw up terms?”

“No sex,” she said quickly. Azriel wasn’t surprised to hear that. While Gwyn waited for him to protest, he merely arched a brow, urging her to go on.

“That…that’s all.”

“Fine,” he agreed. He wasn’t going to force himself on her, after all. “My terms?”

“Name them.”

“This stays in Montessere. It doesn’t come back to Prythian.”

“I would hate to get in the way of your many lovers,” she retorted without true malice. Azriel shrugged it off the way he shrugged off so many other things she said.

“You’ll tell me if I do something you don’t like. No pretending for my sake. I’m grown—I can handle it.”

Her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. It was subtle, but he caught her relief. “You think I’d try and spare your feelings?”

Azriel chuckled. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

“Trust in that, if nothing else, shadowsinger.”

He offered her a half smile. “Go get in my bed—”

“I told you. Not tonight.” Gwyn pressed her fingertips to his chest, pushing him back far enough she could duck beneath his arm. “Get used to doing things my way.”

“I relish the opportunity to make you eat your words.”

Gwyn only smiled before turning, waving over her shoulder before slamming the door shut. He heard the lock turn, an absurd gesture he assumed only punctuated her point. She wanted to call the shots?

Well.

That was fine by him.

#gwynriel #complaining will get you blocked just fyi

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annakie · 3 months ago

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Fixing The House Chapter 11 (B) - Big Bang Room

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View

Part Eleven: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B! (YOU ARE HERE)

Part Twelve: We Can Make It On the Outside

Part Thirteen: Mauve Haze Symphony

Part Fourteen (A) - In the Kitchen

Part Fourteen (B) - Copper Green

---

ICYMI, Part A was posted Yesterday. This is just a continuation of that post. Sorry about the split!

So when we last left off...

It's August, 2024

Turning things into a full house renovation took awhile, honestly we just kept adding one more littleish thing... but then OK one more big thing.

It had started in this room with just getting some lights put in. I think I said it before but here, in this front room, the ONLY LIGHTING was the ancient ceiling fan in the dining room and a single lamp on my desk.

So Arturo first put in the can lights with a dimmer switch, hell that was in late July.

Early August we made the deal for the new ceiling fan for free when he put in the can lights in the dining room, removed the ancient fan, and also I paid him to put in the ceiling fans in the bedrooms/living room.

It was real weird having light in here, especially when the windows went in.

IGNORE THE CHAOS, it's gonna get BETTER.

For awhile, I was trying to decide between replacing the old laminate from 2009 and getting new kitchen cabinet doors.

Both were in about the same state, still functional but with alot of problems. The cabinets wouldn't cost as much buuuuuttttttttt...

I'd settled on doing the floors, because in the hallway, at the intersection of the kitchen and living room/old office, that little bit is so heavily trafficked that the 10-year lifespan on the very cheap laminate had long expired and the planks were separating from each other. I wish I'd had taken a picture.

Also, a couple of times when the AC had frozen over, plus the AC problems that were detailed out way back in Part 5, water had seeped into those planks and they'd swollen and warped a bit, there was obvious damage and it had just gotten worse the previous month with all those problems.

So I decided to get new flooring over new cabinets*. (Remember this asterisk, we'll get back to it in like, two or three updates from now.)

Arturo had the HOOK UP to get me some high-quality flooring and a steep discount. Labor would cost about as much as the flooring itself.

Spent about a day mulling over my choices in flooring.

Decided on the greyish one right in the middle there.

I wanted something that would go with everything, and most of my house was done in colors from the "Neutral" section of my BFF, the Sherwin-Williams Color Swatch Book. I wasn't a huge fan of grey laminate before this, but honestly, I am now, at least this one.

After I picked it, Arturo turned and looked at me very seriously, then said "What are we going to do about this?" and pointed at...

See those paint splatters on The Thing? When my 2nd roommate lived here around 2004 the day I was painting the inside of The Thing yellow, her cat Felix somehow jumped into the paint pan, got paint over about 25% of himself, and then ran through the house before I could catch him.

I DID catch him, and spent the rest of the night bathing the paint off of him for like hours, until he stopped cooperating. I called pet poison control to make sure he wouldn't die. It took DAYS to get all the paint off him after it dried. He ended up fine! But the paint on The Thing had long since dried by the time I gt back to it. I didn't have any black paint at that point and would have to get some. Anyway, 20 years later, and the yellow splats were still there, a reminder of Felix. He was a good cat.

----

I mean, I already knew the answer to Arturo's question, no doubt, but the way he was looking at me was like "If you don't tell me we're knocking this abomination down then I'm going to be very mad at you."

"YES. GET RID OF IT, PLEASE!" I told him. "Quickly, get it out of my siiiiiiiiight!"

Well it took a little bit of time, we were in the middle of a lot of other things.

Then August 23rd came. Arturo showed up with a van full of flooring, a couple of boxes and a stack of newspapers. He brought 3 of his guys with him, a father and his two sons, and also his usual painter and apprentice, Janarie.

The four of them spent the morning emptying out my office and dining room around me while I worked at my desk. They took great care in wrapping up all my dishes in newspaper, not a single thing was harmed in the process. They moved all my furniture except my work desk and chair into either the garage or living room.

Cleaning out the garage halfway back in July was a lot of work but... such a great decision. Could not have done this without all the work I did back then. My dining room table did have to live on the patio for a couple of nights, but it came out of that experience fine.

I remembered what a pain in the ass it had been when I got new flooring back in 2009, so I took a few precautions like labeling the from and to for every wire in and out of my receiver/stereo system. Honestly I did quite a bit of work the day or two before they started, but had limited time.

I'd packed and moved all my RPG books from that bookshelf.

And...

Why was that one part of it smooth? We don't know. The bricks were whole there, they just like, started sanding them down then stopped for some reason, maybe? IT IS A MYSTERY.

Also, yeah, I really needed to dust, but dust was EVERYWHERE during the renovation all the time so I just let stuff pass. Especially putting in the new windows, they had to grind down some of the brick on a couple of the places so there was pink brick dust especially in the Living Room and Guest Room.

I had packed up The Thing and moved all its stuff to the Living Room.

The next day, August 23rd, like 21 years and 2 weeks after buying the house...

The shelves came off first. You can see the peach the wall originally was there on the side, that was the color the holes were before I painted them to match the DR walls. The top of the brick was also painted that peach. Which tells us that rather than knocking The Thing down, the shelves were a LATER ADDITION TO IT.

Why, just whyyyyy?

But the guys took such good care with knocking the Thing down. No debris went flying.

We'd left my desk still in the room as you'll see in a minute, and they were super careful to not let anything fly at it and hit it.

I just sat there and watched the guys work with a grin on my face the whole time. :D

Y'all.... look at that beautiful pile of BRICKS!

The first pic I took of the room... being ONE ROOM.

The guys took the bricks outside. One tiny little annoyance is that the city wouldn't haul bricks away, and honestly, fine. Some pickers came and took most of them, which is also great.

But like, there's still a few out by my curb and I've asked a couple of Arturo's guys to make sure they get hauled away and uh, they haven't yet.

Anyway,

It was super fun when the guys left that night and the cats came to investigate What's New?

They were both PERPLEXED at the lack of not only the stuff, but The Thing! They both ended up hanging out in the brand new empty space that night. :D

The next day, Arturo filled the empty space with cement.

We discussed what to do with the walls. Arturo said if we wanted to get rid of the paneling it'd delay things a bit and add on a cost to fix the walls and make them look good again. Or we could just patch up the newly exposed wall where the Thing was, and paint the paneling.

TBH, I'd spent the evening while the cats were enjoying the new space literally staring at the room for an hour or two deciding what to do.

We'd do this.

---

The flooring started going in, just right on top of the old flooring.

Yeah, I started to love it when I saw it come together.

I brought my laptop into the bedroom and worked while they did this. The electronics on my desk got unplugged and the desk moved to the Dining Room side while they put in the flooring on the Office side, then moved back.

A few other little improvements happened around this time, too.

I'd talked before about my lack of storage causing a clutter problem. One of those things as not having space for my small appliances, so they were either cluttering up the countertops or some were living on the dining room table. I took care of that problem.

The wood thing is my cat food storage area. It had been against another wall, but fit here well, that's where it lives now.

I also bought a new shoe rack for the entryway so they wouldn't just get kicked into a big pile, and I now drink like, a lot of protein shakes For Reasons, and they get stored on top of the rack, though I might let them live in the garage now that it's cooling down.

Also at this point decided to get rid of the green coat rack in the Dining room entryway, and the green shelf I'd put up had fallen down in the middle of the night after 20ish years of service and hadn't gotten put back up. It never would.

New stuff was bought.

Really, I made a decision early on in the process to start confronting all the Little Problems About My House that Made Life Suck a Little More, and either see if Arturo could fix them or find a way to fix them myself. And all of the things I just talked about were indicative of those Little Problems. I fixed the small appliance and shoe piles myself, and put up a nicer coat rack. A lot more Little Problems got foisted to Arturo for more skilled solutions required.

I ended up calling these my "Arturo, can we...?"s

Hilariously, the curtains had come down in order to paint the walls and not get in the way of the flooring going in. the curtains and rods were buried where I couldn't get to them, and new rods were going in ANYWAY. I realized when everyone left the night the flooring went in that my front windows were wide open to the world.

Luckily, we had lots of extra newspapers laying around.

Was literally like this for like 2 nights, haha. Eventually all the things here that need painting got painted.

---

The day after the new flooring went in, the room got painted.

I was really nervous about my color choices. The thing is that these colors had to work well with the darker wood of my furniture, the copper dishes and such I had, and the pink that the office was painted, which we're about to get to.

As soon as I saw the colors together, I knew I'd done well.

Rainwashed on top. Underseas on bottom. Blue-ish greens with water themed names.

Painting was still in progress at this point, but honestly every time I turned around and looked at this, my breath was taken away.

It was so different. So light. So fresh.

SO NICE.

When Arturo got there later that day he walked in and was like "You know, I thought maybe we were making a mistake not getting rid of the paneling, but this was the right decision. This is really nice."

I thought so, too.

It's so BRIGHT in here. Not dark and muted at all. Windows that light get through. Overhead light that works. Bright colors.

I already loved it so much.

The other half of the room....

OK look, before I'd decided on the flooring, Arturo had had Janarie re-paint the pink of the room. We'd fixed the wall with the weird line and had painted it, then finished the repaint like a week prior to this. Same pink.

We'd also repainted the "Star Wars Poster" wall, the one that had been the Blue-Silver (Silver Trophy) color in here that day. This pic was taken before the office flooring was finished, you can see way at the end there, and the Silver Trophy is still on the wall on the right. So at first I thought we'd just paint the walls that had been yellow to the new greens.

As soon as I saw the green next to the Silver Trophy, I asked them to keep painting.

But I really loved the pink in the office half, and despite Arturo near-begging me to paint it green (Rainwashed), for a few days I told him no.

But then, every time I looked at this, or even more so at the reverse angle with it green on one side of the door and pink on the other, which was the view every time you walked down the hallway... my stomach churned. Yeah, it didn't look good.

But also I wanted my pink.

A day or two later, I made a decision.

A compromise. I look at that wall (and now out that window) all day. I'd keep my one pink wall, everything else went Rainwashed.

A controversial decision, and I don't think Arturo will ever QUITE be over still having that wall pink, he's still hinted at me we could paint it Rainwashed still... but nah. It's how I want it. :)

---

It took a few days to get everything back into the room, and that was partially because I took the time to declutter as we went.

Some stuff I set aside for friends who could use it. A lot of stuff got left out on the curb and taken by someone before trash day. And every week the city large / overflow trash truck has stopped and hauled extra junk and/or construction materials away for the last several weeks.

And also, this space also just became the Project and Storage Room.

Sometimes there were so many boxes in this space that walking through it was a maze.

What IS that huge Box Fry is on, anyway?

We'll get back to that in a post or three.

---

This is FINE. I could live like this a couple of weeks. New coatrack went up (I did it myself!), new floating shelves. The three china cabinets rearranged to new positions without having a stupid Thing to work around. The little hutch covered up the old Thing wall. Arturo did a good job, put paneling all the way to the door, and patched the wall. He had to use a different little rail at the top of the paneling, for some reason he couldn't find an exact match to the 60 year old trim that was there? Huh. You can still tell a little that something is wonky there, but you absolutely CAN'T with a hutch covering the spot! More on that later.

On the reverse angle, I put the nice speakers my dad gave me up on shelves on the wall, out of the way. The bookshelf got sorted through and a bunch of trashy novels got tossed out of it. Some DVDs I didn't watch anymore, plus a few box sets of TV shows got put into a new CD wallet and their cases tossed to save space.

My D&D 3.0, 3.5 and 4e books got moved into the big bookcase. so my more modern-era gaming books could be on the main gaming bookcase.

Ah yes, so much cool gaming stuff. So little of it have I used for gaming.

And as you can see, a new little media shelf and the stuff from the Thing got moved here. I think Arturo hated this too, haha, but it's my stuff and I want it out where I can appreciate it. Every one of those stuffed animals was given to me by someone special, every knick knack also given to me by someone I'd want to remember or has a significance attached to it. And of course, pictures of my family.

The surge-protected plug on its own circuit that my PC and work laptop are plugged into are behind there, which is why there's wires coming out at the bottom center, a hole was cut in the backing so the shelf could be pretty flush with the wall.

And... what is that on the very bottom left corner?

Yeah... I kept one brick of The Thing, to remind me always of what was and what never shall be again.

---

TRIM TALK TIME!

Now, let's talk about the world's most exciting topic... the trim going throughout my house. YEEEAAAAAH! Time for TRIM TALK. You can see a bit of it in the pic above! And if you scroll up to the empty room but my desk pic a few pics above that! And in lots of other pics in the last couple of posts!! TRIM TALK TIME.

OK so when the new flooring in went in here, near the end of the day Arturo was all "You need to pick some trim, I have time to go pick it up before the end of the day."

It was like 3pm on a workday, I had shit to do for work and it'd been the kind of day where I'd had to make a ton of other choices. Remember that every day it wasn't JUST one room that got worked on, lots of rooms were being worked on at the same time, so like that day also I think the master bedroom got painted, I'd had to make some big choices for the kitchen, and I'd been picking out the yellows for the guest room.

My brain was tired of making choices.

I pulled up either the Lowe's or Home Depot website and searched for flooring trim and filtered for what was in stock at the one near me and still saw a shitton of options. My brain short circuited as I stared at the first page.

"Arturo, I do not care about the trim," I turned to him and said. "Can you just pick out something inexpensive that you think would look decent? It doesn't have to be fancy, just not ugly."

Y'all, Arturo and I built a trust really early on. I'd said awhile ago I liked him immediately. And I very quickly trusted his taste. There were several things that I thought I wanted one way and he talked me into doing it another way and in the end, he was right. Like painting most of the room Rainwashed. He was right. There were a couple of color choices he nudged me on and I agreed when it was done. He wouldn't be a dick about it if I made a choice that he didn't agree with, it's my house after all, but also he's been doing this a long time and does a lot of house flips for some of his other clients and knows what he's talking about.

I consulted him and his taste with most everything, and there were some things, like the pink wall, where he knew to just say "not what I would do but it's your decision." and some things he gave me nudges at. It was a great working relationship.

So yeah, I don't give a shit about trim, Arturo. I'm tired. You do it.

He came back either later that day or the next time he was here with this trim and at first I was like woah, that's HUGE trim, but he was like "Trust me."

A few hours later the hallway and then the Dining Room/Office were done and... holy crap it looked GREAT.

The last couple of times I'd gotten new flooring, the company I used just put in the smallest, thinnest, cheapest trim possible. One just used quarter round after putting the trim that was already there back. I didn't care, to me, trim was a non-issue. You barely notice it.

But as soon as I saw the trim Arturo picked out and put in I. FREAKING. LOVED. IT.

After looking at it for like a day I asked him how much it would be to put it in the rest of the house, the ENTIRE HOUSE. Get rid of the old shit, give me THAT. It just subtly elevated the room in a way I didn't expect at all.

So yes, every room has the new trim and all the time I see it and am like "Man, that looks great!"

As the trim went in, Arturo asked me about what color to paint it. At this point I was like "Oh, well, I like the Navajo White cream color that all my trim and doors is painted, just do that again."

Arturo made a face at me, and asked if I was sure, and I was like "Yeah, I like it."

So he went and got one gallon of the special kind of paint for trim and windowsills and stuff.

The next day, his guy Jorge as here to paint the trim. It had come white but Arturo said we wanted a layer of paint on it for protection. So Jorge started painting the hallway trim while I was working. An hour or two later I walked down the hall and was like uhhhh.... he's painting it white? What happened to my cream?

I called Arturo, and told him it was the wrong color, and Arturo called Jorge and pointed him to the right paint. So Jorge had to start painting the hallway a second time.

In the next hour or so, Arturo got here and then went to work in the master bath. A little while later I went to ask him a question and walked down the hall....

....annnnnnnd.... oh nooooo. The trim WAS now the right color, the creamy white...

...and it looked like shit.

Like just absolutely terrible. Gross. Weird.

It was exactly what I asked for and it was BAD and Arturo was RIGHT.

So I went and got Arturo and we looked at it together and I was like "I hate it."

"I do too."

"So uh......."

"Jorge's going to repaint it white again, yes?"

"Jorge, por favor no muerta me, lo muy, muy siento."

Jorge did look a little bit like he did want to kill me but we also laughed about it.

So for the THIRD TIME that day... Jorge repainted the hallway, white this time.

And then Arturo and I discussed money for repainting every bit of trim, and door, and anything else white. (Except the ceiling.)

And that is how everything is now white in my house once again. And how unless it was something I felt really strongly about, I came to trust Arturo's opinion on pretty much everything.

(The only exception to the white was the Master Bathroom, which we talked about already.)

---

Knocking on My Front Door

Yeah so the front door was super ugly, as discussed. Pretty early on a new front door was on the docket. Arturo got the door from the main place he got the windows, but when he went to get the front and side windows he didn't make it there until they were almost closing, and so he just snapped a few pictures of doors for me to decide on.

I picked one the next day, but he didn't make it back to the door and window place for a month or so. I was real anxious for the new front door. I had the hardware and smartlock all picked out and ready to go for weeks.

When it got here, I loved it immediately. We had to swap the door to open on the other side since they didn't have the side I had used before in stock, which I was annoyed about until the door got put in and then immediately I realized I liked it better on the left side anyway.

It's SO pretty. It came white but we painted it the same white as the trim for perfect matching.

The glass is triple-paned, one on either side of the star. The star felt like a subtle touch of Texas flair, the only nod to state pride in my house at this point, purposefully. You can see outside and thus inside in a distorted way through the glass so I now have some curtains on the window with a magnetic curtain rod that match the new curtains on the other windows. It's open during the day for more light getting in, and they get closed at night.

Security has been another area the house has had major upgrades. That triple paned glass would be a real pain to get through but not impossible. But it'd be annoying to reach through to unlock the door. I have plans for reinforcing the glass both on the windows and the door even more.

So there's two deadbolts, one of which is a Smart Lock on the door. I also have a doorstop you can see that goes on the door every night.

The door also got Door Armor, which is plates that go over the hinges installed with very long and thick screws, and another very long and tough strike plate on the other side, also reinforced with those really long and tough screws. Makes doors pretty kick-in proof.

Past that, another post I have planned is for general Outside Improvements, including the patio, fence and the other stuff that happened out front.

I love, love, love the new door. The old screen door from the 60s came off, and a Future Plan is a new glass screen door, but the money has run out so that's a thing for the future. This is still a massive security improvement over the old wood door that had a window which already been punched through at least once.

-----

Couple of other changes.

The green hutch was like, definitely not the right color for this room anymore, so the boxes of my copper dishes sat in the dining room for a couple weeks until I decided what to do with the hutch. I had several ideas on what to paint it, or if I'd just leave it but I knew that would just needle me. Was maybe going to do it white, but that felt like too much white in this room. It was already against a wall with Underseas so I didn't want to add MORE of that color and it didn't feel right for the copper dishes. I thought maybe a grey, but I spent like an hour looking at 49 shades of gray (ha ha) and couldn't pick one I liked well enough.

Finally I went to the Sherwin-Williams website to see what IT thought would look good with Underseas & Rainwashed and both said that this other color, Window Pane would be compatible with each. Honestly, seemed like an even lighter shade of Rainwashed. Screw it, I decided. I'd get it.

I just went to Sherwin-Williams myself for the first time instead of Arturo going, this was my project. But I did use his account to get the contractor discount on the paint (especially when they tried to sell me a $150 gallon of paint first... lol no. Arturo had told me a gallon was like $30.)

I still paid almost $40 for the gallon and Arturo was annoyed i didn't call him to make sure I got the paint he wanted me to get (but it was like 6pm when I went and I tried really hard to not bug him off-hours, I'm not that kind of client!). I painted the hutch myself the first time years ago, and I did it on my own this time, too.

Arturo, Janarie and I all agreed, this color was perfect and the copper dishes look amazing with it. Blends into the room so well while still being a little different than the existing colors, a really nice bridge.

I also painted the little console table that's under the Star Wars poster Underseas. The table itself was looking pretty rough, and I think that also bridges the paneling color into the rest of the dining room well.

I am planning on painting the low-rise RPG bookshelf either Underseas or Window Pane (Probably Underseas) as well, since it's a light color wood and doesn't fit in with all the dark color wood I have. Just haven't gotten to it yet. The paint is on the table still. Maybe next weekend.

---

So I'd been planning on posting this tonight because Arturo was supposed to come today and make another couple of small improvements. This is literally the last day he's coming (FOR NOW!) to do the last few bits. When I save back up some money things like that new front screen door and a full ceiling repaint are going to happen.

But stuff happens and Arturo can't come til next week, which is also fine, nothing left is urgent. He has other clients that he makes more money on than me and are way more demanding than me. If I was a jerk I could have hounded him more to get things done faster, normally people were only here working 2 to 4 days every week (including Saturdays but never Sundays), but honestly I liked having 3 or 4 days a week to myself to get work done at work, do my own projects, get the house back in order, and just, you know, rest.

He found a second ceiling fan just like the one he put in the dining room so he's giving it to me (and I'm paying for the install!) so the room is more balanced. There's a few small projects left for him and a few for me and I'm still using the dining room table as the staging area. And my desk is always a bit messy, sorry not sorry. So these pictures below are of the whole thing, and they're from today, but there's still a bit of clutter, as you'll see. But this post is gargantuan, so let's wrap it up. :D

Whew! That's 30 pictures in this post! I wanted to post one or two more gratuitous cat pics but there's no space! Maybe later.

The floating shelves became my little area for tribute to my pets. The picture frame has pics of them all, from my childhood cat Target, to my first cat on my own Sampo, my dog Cebu, My black beauties Jim and Leela, one of my white calico Patchy, and my remaining two, Fry and Pemily. there's one empty slot for a picture of Jim and Leela that printed badly I need to reprint. Sampo, Cebu, Jim and Leela's ashes are all on the floating shelves. Patchy is in the master bedroom where she belongs.

So yeah, still a fan to add over the desk, and if you look way over by the coat rack, there's some wall patching to be done. I need to do something better with the stuff on top of the secretary. Pics of my Niblings on the now-Underseas console table have been blurred on purpose.

This space started as a cramped, dark and divided with the ugliest room divider ever to exist, with old dirty windows and no lighting at all. I never opened the curtains because I didn't want to look at those windows. I was just... kind of ashamed of it all, even if the dining room was... decent... when a bunch of stuff wasn't piled on top of the dining room table.

It's now this big, bright, light space that feels so welcoming and happy. The curtains get opened every morning and stay open until it starts to get dark. I'm excited for people to see it. And in a week or two went the rest of the little projects get finished, the table will be empty, or at least decorated appropriately.

(The dining room chairs have been a bit destroyed by the cats over the last 20 years. That's something to work on fixing in the future when money has recovered, tbh. But I can live with it, for now.)

As far as quality of life improvements go, this and the master bath are the big ones, with the hall bath in third. But none of them are still yet my favorite place in the house now. We'll get to that, eventually.

---

Gonna be a few days til my next update, busy end of week and weekend ahead, but I can't wait to show off the rest!

#personal post tag thingy #fixing the house #fixing my house

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delusionalwriter02 · 1 year ago

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Hi, I would like Given headcanons please! I like to imagine Mafuyu having a little sister who’s about 5 yrs old (the mom adopted her when he was 11) and since she was a baby she saw Yuki, Hiiragi and Shizu as her other older brothers. Could you also include how what happened to Yuki affects her and her meeting Ritsuka please? (◕ヮ◕)

Mafuyu's little tresor

Mafuyu,Yuki, Hiiragi, Shizu x Platonic little sister reader / Comfort and a bit of angst / Headcanons

a/n : Thank you so much for your request! Honestly, I shed a tear when I mentioned Yuki, but I love the idea! I hope this post lives up to your expectations !

The day you came into Mafuyu's life, he immediately adored you. You were the cutest thing he'd ever seen. And of course it wasn't long before he introduced you to his friends.

In fact, the week after you arrived in the Sato family, you were already surrounded by love. It wasn't unusual to see you together, playing in a playpen. But you spent most of your time with Mafuyu and Yuki, whether it was making little aeroplanes, playing hide-and-seek or playing jokes on Hiiragi or Shizu. You were inseparable.

Even though 'officially' you only had one older brother, Mafuyu, in reality you had 4. On one particular day, the weather was perfect for playing in the park. Shizu and Hiiragi were fighting over a toy while Yuki and Mafuyu sat on the grass, chatting. You were chasing a beautiful butterfly that refused to land on your hand when you tripped over a stone and fell heavily to the ground.

Your cries immediately attracted the attention of the 4 boys who, in a flash, ran to you. "Y/N, are you all right?" asked Yuki, coming up to you. "Of course not, you idiot, you can see she's crying!" shouted Hiiragi. Mafuyu got down on his knees in front of you, "Can you show me where you hurt yourself?", sobbing, your little trembling hand pointing to your knee. "We'll fix that at home," Mafuyu said, smiling.

You found yourself on Shizu's back, your crying having subsided. When you got home, Yuki took you in his arms and led you into the bathroom, sitting you down on the toilet. Shizu grabbed a cotton pad and some disinfectant while Mafuyu pulled up your trousers. Hiiragi made faces at you to stop you seeing your little wound, and your laughter filled the small room.

The 5 of you were really happy together. The years passed quietly, and one day you were surprised by something that was, to say the least, surprising. Yuki and Mafuyu… kissing?! That was the day you found out they were going out and even though Mafuyu was initially afraid of your reaction, you were overjoyed. Because it meant you'd be spending even more time with Yuki !

But your happiness didn't last forever.

From one day to the next, Yuki stopped coming to the house and your big brother spent most of his time locked up in his room. It was the year you turned 10 that you learned of Yuki's death. And no words are strong enough to describe what you felt. It was as if your heart was being ripped out, then put back in, then taken out, over and over again.

You didn't know how he died and, to be honest, you didn't even want to know. The last thing you had left of Yuki was a photo taken years ago, when you were children and still carefree. That photo never left your sight, not even at school.

And one evening, when your mother wasn't back yet, you needed Mafuyu. You knocked lightly on his door, but there was no answer. You decided to go in anyway. Mafuyu was sitting on the floor, staring into space. Without a word, you sat down beside him.

-" It hurts." You say, staring at an invisible spot. -" I know." You rested your head on your big brother's shoulder. He put his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

-"Will it ever get easier? -I don't know." The conversation is slow, but you've never needed words to understand each other.

Yuki's death took you out of the world of childhood much more quickly than expected. The world seemed less colourful, the sun less bright. The death of one of your older brothers was your first experience of death. And nothing seemed to be able to soothe your heart.

And a year later, you still couldn't accept it.

But after a year, you saw Mafuyu come home later than usual, his eyes a little less vacant than before. You're 11 years old, you're a child but life has turned you into an adult. You're happy to see life gradually returning to Mafuyu, perhaps because after a while it gets easier ?

So one day, when Mafuyu was still coming home quite late, you asked him.

-" How did you do it?" Mafuyu looked at you, confused. -What do you mean ?" Yuki's guitar was always with him.You approached the case gently.

-"How did you manage to get your taste for life back?" For a few seconds, Mafuyu said nothing, then he smiled at you, with that smile that always managed to bring yours back.

-"I'll show you tomorrow, okay?" You nodded.

The next evening arrived. You were in your room when you heard the front door close, Mafuyu's voice reaching you as well as that of a stranger. When you reached the entrance, a young man with black hair looked at you, surprised.

-"He's called Ritsuka, he's a friend from high school." Mafuyu said. -"Hello!" said the man called Ritsuka.

You waved your hand at him, confused.

-"Your name's Y/N, isn't it? Mafuyu's told me a lot about you. -Yes, that's me." Still a bit confused, you don't really know what to say.

-"Ritsuka's teaching me to play guitar, he's got a band!" Said Mafuyu, a hint of excitement in his voice. -Really? That's cool!" You say, slightly less embarrassed.

That evening, you didn't get much more out of Ritsuka, but you were pleased to see that Mafuyu seemed so happy to be learning to play the guitar. You felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of how happy Yuki would have been to see Mafuyu play. It's just… strange to see your big brother have a friend again, to see him get some colour.

And the weeks passed, slowly. Until one day Mafuyu came to see you in your room, to have a serious talk.

-"I've joined Ritsuka's group. We're having a concert next Sunday, please come." There was a lot of information to digest all at once.

First your brother joined a band, then he was going to perform in front of people and then he wanted you to come.

-"Are you sure ?" You say. -"You know, I believe that music saved me in some ways. I have so many things in me that I can't say or simply express. I'm not good with words but playing made it possible to bring out things that I thought I had locked away inside me forever. I would like you to find your outlet too." Mafuyu said, looking you straight in the eyes. -"Okay, I'll come." And the smile Mafuyu gave you was a smile you hadn't seen in 2 years.

Night of the concert

You were lost in the mass of people at the entrance. There were really a lot of people.

-“Y/N?!” This voice… Hiiragi! You turned around abruptly, meeting the gaze of an older brother you hadn't seen in a long time. Without thinking another second, you ran into his arms, bumping into a few people in the process, tears ready to fall at any moment.

-"I missed you so much…" You say, face buried in his chest, his arms instantly closing around you. -"I missed you a lot too, little sister.." And you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. “Look who’s here too.” You turned your face slightly to meet Shizu's eyes.

You hugged your two big brothers tightly, letting silent tears fall down your cheeks.

-"What are you doing here ?" You say, trying to dry your tears. -"We came to see Mafuyu sing." Shizu replied, still keeping you in his arms. “Stay close to us, there are a lot of people here.” He said with a smile. -"Of course, I won't let you go."

Finding yourself in the concert hall, you climbed on Shizu's shoulders so you could see something, like when you were kids.

youtube

(please go see the concert, I always cry and it breaks my heart but it's so powerful)

When Mafuyu's voice rang out, it was as if your heart had just stopped because you knew, you knew who he was talking about.

Images of Yuki, Mafuyu and you come back to you, the moments when you laughed, when you slept together, when Yuki took you in his arms because you were too tired to walk home.

You miss him, you miss him so much that you barely notice the tears running down your cheeks, all you see is Mafuyu.

And Yuki.

But Yuki is no longer here, he will never be here again.

So we must move forward and live, live so that he never fades.

You found your outlet.

A year later

-"Give it to me !" You shouted at Ritsuka who was holding up a bag of candy that you wanted.

Mafuyu and Ritsuka's laughter echoed through the apartment. Another year had passed. A year where you learned to live again, little by little. You saw your big brother fall in love with someone else and it would be a lie to say that it was simple at first. You felt like you were betraying Yuki by thinking that you were happy for Mafuyu and Ritsuka.

You often looked at this photo of the 5 of you as children. But as the seasons pass, sadness takes up less and less space in your heart.

The sun seemed to be shining again.

Hey I'm really sorry for adding passages but I was very inspired haha, if you don't like it I can do it again for you 100% without any problem, I was very happy to write that even if review the concert made me cry haha. Thank you very much again for your request!

See you <3

#given anime #request #fanfiction #fanfic #given movie #mafuyu sato #x reader #yagi shizusumi #uenoyama ritsuka #hiiragi kashima #requests open #mafuyama #yuki yoshida #angst #love #concert

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