#the fact that there's still a gilmore girls twitter and because of netflix it has 4738279 more people than when i was on there is wild to me

[pseudophan]

who did u stan on gilmore girls

lorelai forever and always. i think i appreciate rory's storylines more now than i did back then but 12-14 year old me was very much like ENOUGH about this teenage drama i do not give a fuck get back to lorelai the love of my life please

[frazzledsoul]

So lately I've been thinking more and more about getting into the Gilmore Girls fandom again, which is cute, because the fandom is nonexistent, pretty much (even though the show is actually pretty popular on Netflix even all these years later) and I kind of wanted to talk about how I fell out with it.

I updated a story this week I had not touched for a year. It's my monstrous fic about Jess being Rory's baby daddy and it's 26 chapters so far and I kind of feel it went off the rails about seven or eight chapters ago but Lit fans seem to like it. Literati is not really my ship: I love them, but I also love Rory with Logan and I have written for both and see the merit in both ships. So I'm emotionally detached from it to a certain extent which is not the case with Luke/Lorelai. And I did not really get along or agree with what I thought the "official" opinions were from a lot of L/L fic authors that the fandom as a whole was encouraged to have.

The fact that I no longer talk to a lot of those authors/fans is partially (okay, mostly) my fault. There were a lot of cultural/political/lifestyle differences that couldn't be reconciled, but also a really wide gulf in fandom opinions that couldn't be reconciled, either. The fact that I was not a nice person about certain things last summer didn't help. I've blocked people on here about stuff I now consider petty and have retracted it but basically....I think sometimes online friendships need to stay in certain places and not be placed in toxic environments like Twitter and Discord where things can easily get out of hand. But when you're on a rage-blocking spree it can be hard to talk yourself down from it.

I guess the point I want to make here is that when the show was going on it had a considerable fanbase that was somewhat morally/culturally conservative. I don't think actual politics here is the issue (ASP was pretty clear about where she stood on that one) but if you were uncomfortable with Lorelai sleeping with Christopher while he had a girlfriend and never acknowledging that what she did was wrong and stupid it was okay to say that. If you didn't think it was okay for Rory to be involved with Dean while he was technically married to Lindsay it was okay to say that (not an opinion I share, but it was out there). If Lorelai sleeping with Christopher was a complete deal-breaker for you and you felt you couldn't sympathize or like her anymore after that and that what she did couldn't be justified, it was okay to say that. I feel that in 2016 with certain L/L fans and fic writers dominating the conversation, it wasn't okay anymore to express those types of opinions. Lorelai sleeping with Christopher is just a stupid thing Luke has to get over while we obsess over and over about how Luke failed Lorelai by not giving her the perfect wedding she wanted. It was perfectly okay for her to shove that knife in as far as she could if that's what she needed to do to feel that things were "over".

At the same time, the dominant L/L opinion that we were all encouraged to have was....intensely traditional in places. We were encouraged to believe that Lorelai's need to get married outweighed every other consideration, moral or otherwise, that marriage was going to immediately solve her and Luke's problems even though eloping ASAP would solve virtually none of them, and that Luke once again failed Lorelai by never proposing in the years between the OG series and AYITL despite the fact that it's explicitly stated several times throughout the revival that she did not want that. The dominant opinion here neither respects fidelity or has any room for a nontraditional arrangement, which is an odd combination to have.

There were other issues here, such as the time three popular fanfic writers decided to write stories one after the other about how Luke wearing jeans to dinner at Emily's did not mean he did not have any money and how they had to disabuse Emily of that notion right away because....how dare Luke actually be a person who could not afford nice dress pants. Being poor isn't a moral failure, people, and neither is wearing jeans to dinner. And yeah, fic writers can write anything they want and if I don't like it I don't have to read it and blah blah blah, but I think it's just another example of the "fandom" kind of laying out what opinions one was and was not allowed to have and how one often felt like an outsider for liking Luke *because* he was a redneck.

The thing is that when I go back and read older stories written by fans who were watching the show while it was airing or even fans who write for multiple ships I feel they...understand it more? The older stories understand why Lorelai's actions were so devastating and felt like such a betrayal. There's a writer who wrote in both time periods who has a story where it's explicitly stated that whether Lorelai was technically cheating or not doesn't matter, because it was still a horrible thing to do and she knows it and she's sorry. I honestly never felt as vindicated and validated as I did when I read that take on it. I feel this is S7's view on the situation. It's not like Lorelai tries to argue the point or anything: she knows pretty much right off that it was horrible. Yet the "modern" writers and fans seem to believe that Luke expressing any anger, even temporarily, is worse than what she did. And I feel intensely uncomfortable in a fandom where that is the dominant opinion.

Most of this isn't found in the fics themselves, for the most part, but in the publicly expressed opinions of the writers. And I feel this is a problem, in fandoms: you have your beloved fic writers and your thought leaders and they control the conversation and no one is really allowed to challenge them. Which is kind of why I feel fandoms in and of themselves are toxic: it's unhealthy to let only a few people decide what can and cannot be accepted. Sometimes it's better to let fics stay on the page and not know too much of what the writer's fandom opinions are....or at least, not to the point where it is considered the *only* opinion.

I just have one final thing to say, which is that I feel having the dissenting opinion that cheating is bad and not getting married is not a tragedy if you do not want to do it is something I feel has come back on me when I tried to write my take on L/L: I have a long, angsty story that I needed to write to get it out of me and let Luke say the things he needed to say about what had happened. I went round and round with some of these established writers in the reviews, because there were some very popular and influential fic writers who did *not* like my take on the subject. So there's some pretty solid evidence beyond my feeling that only certain takes on this ship were allowed other than my own insecurity. I feel all of this is unnecessary, and those who sympathized more with Luke than Lorelai should have a space to say why they feel these things.

But any rate, most of this is over now. The only stories really being written are AUs these days (the most prolific L/L writer working now is someone who never watched the revival and whose stories definitely have a more old skool take on things as far as the moral issues go) so all of the stuff in the past that we fought over doesn't matter.

But in case anyone cares....I'm probably updating that angsty fic next week. And it's going to have Jess in it. And he might be a (temporary) manwhore. So I'm sure I'll get some of those reviews again.

[kostovas]

my diary post about my feelings before going to college

august 22, 2017, 10:06 pm, my room in El Paso

The way that I tend to deal with my problems/worries is that I don’t think about them and ignore them and keep ignoring them until they get so big that I’m forced to think about and deal with them.

That is basically what I have been doing this entire summer. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote in my diary and I’ve decided to start typing it out instead since I’m afraid I won’t have the motivation to literally write out my diary in COLLEGE, aka, the problem/worry, which branches out into a bunch of other little problems/worries (I’m going to be living 10 hours away from home, what if I mess up while doing the laundry, what if the work is too hard, my parents are going to be sad,) that I have been pushing away

Although to be honest about 90% of the summer consisted of me in my room writing fan fiction or watching Netflix or scrolling through twitter, I still really didn’t think much about it…

Orientation? Did I even write about it? It was fine, it was good, I instantly clicked with my roommate sara, yes, same name as me, and my orientation-roommate was nice but I have a weird after-taste about her because she told me she was Latina because although she is German Swedish Irish french Spanish insert a billion other super white ethnicities here, her mom is from New Mexico!

Orientation just felt like a more cramped, panicked version of NSLC camp which I went to last year. NSLC was like, a random pocket-universe where I met new people who I spontaneously had a lot in common with and thought about my future in entertainment business with just for fun. Orientation is where I met new people who I very un-spontaneously had at least one thing in common with, starting ut, and thought about my future for real.

I feel like I’ve got some things down, aka my class schedule and what music I could potentially listen to while walking around campus (my Austin playlist is a lot of vampire weekend and sza and I know that sounds like a weird combo but it feels insanely fitting) but for the most part I still very much have ABSOLUTELY ZERO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!

I…. AM PANICKING BIG TIME RIGHT NOW… I CRIED LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING THIS… WHICH I HAVE NOT DONE (at least not over anything that wasn’t a book or a tv show or a movie) THIS ENTIRE SUMMER!!!

This summer, although filled with a lot of nothing and empty spaces, felt so perfect and so teenage-me. Maybe not truly me, truly what I would have done in my perfect world, but just… what I would do as a teenager. I know I’m still technically going to be a teenager for at least awhile in college, but, not like this. Not the El Paso bred high school boredom tennis court by Lorde Gilmore girls crying teenager. I’ll be something else, whatever it is, and I have no idea what. I am afraid to meet her. I am excited I am scared I am going to vomit all over this new computer I bought for college

I went to a lot of movies this summer, mostly with nicole and mostly at the Alamo draft house and mostly before they came out (baby driver, good time, which I both liked but baby driver way more).

I got my drivers license and I passed the test by literally oNE POINT

I drove by myself to nicoles apartment and we had weird conversations about our psychic feelings and premonitions about our own lives and deaths. That was the first time I drove by myself and it was for about five minutes and I sung out loud to dua lipa the entire time because I feel like falling asleep any time I go in a moving vehicle and theres no music and my dad drove me back later because it was raining.

I also drove to pick up alondra the Friday before she left for college. Her first day of school was today and she left like a week early. She’s in South Carolina at college of Charleston and I’m even scared for her. We got chick fil a and went home and talked about da Vinci and being Latina outside of El Paso and random memories and feelings and nothing and everything and nothing again

I hung out with my grandpa a lot, who has been staying here all summer. Yesterday he showed me a picture of my great grandpa who I had never seen before and I was so shocked, he looked like a real Mexican movie star cowboy, I have no idea what John Wayne looks like but he should look like my great grandpa, panfilo vela. Yesterday in particular my grandpa worried about pregnant women because the solar eclipse was happening and they were not wearing safety pins, a latino superstition he said so firmly as a scientific fact that I was really confused and briefly wondering if there was some sort of pregnant women’s medical pin. My dad said ‘that’s part of his charm’’ believing things so intensely, I guess. I think I got some of that from him

I went to San Antonio last week with tia 1 and valerie and Abuelita and my family. Tia 2 is usually the one to go on vacations with us, but she has this new best friend who she is in a two-person cult with, with her BFF/Bestie/Twinsie (yes, she is a 40+ year old woman, who calls her that) being the leader and her being the devout follower, paying for all her tickets to schiltterbaun and the movies and everything she buys while shopping and all her food and yelling at her employees for getting mad at her for something to do with a water bottle I don’t know but it’s definitely throwing off the balance of the universe.

But it was fun, tia 1 is very loud and charismatic and doesnt give any fucks and now I like to say “no mas mis chicharrones truenan aqui” also I am mad I am not more tan

I learned how to make crepes I have made at least 7 successful ones

Okay. so. crying. Here’s a text I sent to the vampire weekend group chat earlier:

(redacted) I really feel like my dad raised me mostly and he just took me out to the fanciest dinner of my life as a “father-daughter dinner” before college and he ran into some friends who were older than him and they were like “ur gonna miss her it’s gonna suck!” And I think my dad almost cried and we talked about heaven in the car and now I’m home and there’s boxes in my room and I’m staring at them and crying

end text

My dad put together those boxes for me with longhorn tape. Burnt orange duct tape with white longhorn shapes on them, literally That’s where my arts and crafts related headassery comes from

I’m going to be staying in a dorm at UT with my own restroom and now I’m thinking do I even really know how to clean a shower NOT REALLY

I’m gonna end up googling it while I’m there

I feel like I don’t actually know how to iron like I’m doing it wrong for sure

The restaurant was called cafe central it’s in downtown El Paso which I think is really truly beautiful even though objectively it’s ugly I’m super emotional and so I think it’s extremely beautiful and it’s just. I feel . It’s just how I feel.

I feel so in touch with the El Paso city it doesn’t even feel real. I feel like all the abandoned buildings are just cardboard cutouts and I have the power to knock them over with my fingertips. the homeless guys there don’t even scare me that much even though they probably should, not even the old lady with the bandaids all over her hands who stole Isaac’s hot dog once

god. That dinner was so fancy and I kept thinking about all these early 2000s chick flicks where a girl eats in a fancy restaurant for one reason or another and I kept thinking about how I love my dad and I kept thinking about how why do we need four different knives and I kept thinking about how that place started in 1918 so it probably wouldn’t have allowed someone who looked like my dad in there for awhile but there I was sitting with my dark brown dad eating food with names and ingredients I have literally never heard of and the chocolate cake melted into itself and chamomile tea is a gift from god

I read a lot of matt Murdock fanfiction today.

How am I 18 years old? I don’t want to… do anything ever… I want to read fan fiction and lay face down on the floor, but not even those two things can be accomplished at the same time.

NOTE: (redacted) means I took something out in case some certain irl people read this, maybe I should’ve taken the thing about tia 2 out but, well, I am somewhat at peace with death

[galadrieljones]

Bajillion Question Meme

Tagged by the lovely @littleblue-eyedbird. Thank you!! <3 Here we go.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke

2. Disney or DreamWorks: Disney 3. Coffee or Tea: COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE

4. Books or Movies: Books

5. Windows or Mac: Mac. I am hopeless with Windows. 6. DC or Marvel: DC, aka: Alan Moore. 7. Xbox or Playstation: Xbox. We just got a PS4, and I am playing Horizon Zero Dawn and like, the buttons?????? I keep getting confused lol. 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Dragon age (I am just not as into space and lasers and aliens as I am into forest and arrows and and elves.) 9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night Owl. 10. Cards or Chess: Cards. 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate. 12. Vans or Converse: Ha! No. Neither of these work for me. Docs? 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Lavellan. Though I loved my Trevelyan who married Sera. <3 14. Fluff or Angst: Both. I think @thevikingwoman said it best in her comment on my last update for TDS, “a deep sated weary happiness.” 15. Beach or Forest: Forest. 16. Dogs or Cats: Dogs. 17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain. (Where I live, you learn to appreciate moisture.) 18.Cooking or Eating Out:  Eating out. 19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Not too spicy! But I like spicy. 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Chirstmas: Christmas. I love Christmastime so much. 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too cold. Probably just because I’m used to it. I run kind of cold. I am always a little cold. 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: No sleep. Like the vampires in Twilight. 23. Animation or Live Action: Live action. 24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon!! (Sorry I am just no renegade.) 25. Baths or Showers: Showers. 26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: I agree with vikingwoman: “Tony Stark is an arrogant sexy bastard so Iron Man.” Mostly though it’s because of Robert Downey, Jr., who is hot as hell.

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: Fantasy. But I really also very much love sociological scifi, or the slipstream between the two. Like I have written a great deal of fiction about a time-traveling cowboy but it is no scifi tale. It is much more dreamy than that. My scifi tends to also have ghosts or folklore attached. So...a little of both, I guess. 28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? If so, what are they?

“A picture may be worth a thousand words. But a thousand words is worth four thousand words.” -Ron Carlson (author and my grad school mentor)

“We look for the sermon in the suicide, for the social or moral lesson in the murder of five. We interpret what we see, select the most workable of the multiple choices. We live entirely, especially if we are writers, by the imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the ideas with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our actual experience.” -Joan Didion, The White Album

���Cannery Row in Monterey in California is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream.” -John Steinbeck, Cannery Row

“You’re tearing me apart!” -Jim Stark, Rebel Without a Cause

29. YouTube or Netflix: YOUTUBE. Netflix just got rid of Buffy the Vampire Slayer like I am on my last straw with these folks.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson:

Idk who Percy Jackson is. Harry Potter for sure.

31. When Do You Feel Accomplished: After submitting a new chapter for The Dead Season, but the feeling is very brief and quickly followed by a small flutter of anxiety over the fact that I now need to stfu with my pride and go do the whole damn thing again lol. 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: ....neither. Sorry. 33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback. I liked what bird said about being able to just manhandle a paperback book. I feel the same way. I love that there are creases in the binding, and that those creases are representative of the places in the text I love and have read the most. 34. Handwriting or Typing: Typing.

35. Velvet or Satin: Velvet? Neither, honestly. I love cotton. 36. Video Games or Movies: Video Games 37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon: I’d rather be the mother of dragons.

38. Sunrise or Sunset: Sunset? I love the end of the day. I love night. 39. What’s your favorite song: That’s a serious question. I honestly do not know. My favorite catalogs are by Neko Case, Fiona Apple, Ben Folds (Five), Regina Spektor, and Fleetwood Mac. 40. Horror Movies, yes or no: I used to be intensely into horror movies and still look forward to them when they’re very well made. I used to love watching horror movies alone, on my computer, in the middle of the day. But for whatever reason, ever since I had a baby, I can’t deal anymore. My emotions are so close to the surface. It’s like, my empathy overloads. I also can no longer deal with gore. 41. Long or Short Hair: My hair is very long. Like almost down to my ass. 42. Opera or Theatre: Theatre. But I haven’t been to the opera.

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and that every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first: Stars Hollow, Gilmore Girls. 44. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be: french fries 45. Older guys or young guys: Oh dear. Classically, I am more drawn to older men. But I also have an intense thing for professional athletes, especially basketball and (American) football players and most of them are younger than me, so... 46. If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be: Erase? None. It’s all necessary.

47. Singing or Dancing: Singing. 48. Instagram or Twitter: Instagram. I used to be super active on Twitter. I had to stop. I came here instead lol. 49. Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit: Lord of the Rings, because Aragorn. 50. If you could create either a sequel or bring back any tv show/movie, what would you choose: The Sopranos. But I just want more episodes from the same run. Because it’s so fucking good. I also want Lost, only remade and made perfectly, but with all the same cast. I love that show, but it got so rushed in the end like, I want to see it revised and perfected. Also, Party Down. Like that show I could watch forever. I pray to the gods they make a movie. I love Ken Marino.

51. Who is your movie/tv show character that you are looking up to and why? Buffy Summers, because she is vulnerable and she feels so much, and she uses her emotion to make herself stronger. She does not hide it away in an effort to simply appear strong. 52. If you were ever convicted of a crime, what would it be? Public drunkenness? lol. 53. Anime- subbed or dubbed? I have no idea what this means! Sorry.

54. City or countryside? Countryside. I really don’t like cities at all. I like the open road.

Lots of people have been tagged! So I’ll give it my best. @shift-shaping @wrenbee @ladydracarysao3 @l-a-v-e-l-l-a-n @tel-abelas-mofo @whosafraidofthebigbaddreadwolf @consumed-by-veilfire @fatale-distraction @silent-of-spirit @liderfin (if you want!) and anyone else who would like to do this! <3

[haleyfury]

Another month full of books, TV, and pool time, another summer month in the books *le sigh*. In July, I read a total of 14 books, took ALL the bookstagram photos-TWO OF WHICH WERE REPOSTED ON VICTORIA SCHWAB AND TRACY BANGHART’S INSTAGRAM- and caught up on some much-need reality TV and movies (including many Princess Diaries, Gilmore Girls, and Outdaughtered rewatches).

A Very Large Expanse of Sea  by Tahereh Mafi (ARC) | 4/5 Stars

Burn for Burn Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian | 5/5 Stars

Fire with Fire by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian | 5/5 Stars

Check, Please: #Hockey by Ngozi Ukazu (ARC) | 4.5/5 Stars

Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor (ARC)| 4.5 /5 Stars

Ashes to Ashes by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian | 4/5 Stars

Grace and Fury by Tracy Banghart (ARC) | 5/5 Stars

The Last Summer of the Garrett Girls by Jessica Spotswood | 4/5 Stars

Dear Martin by Nic Stone | 4/5 Stars

The List by Siobhan Vivian | 4/5 Stars

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han (Reread) | 5/5 Stars

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera (ARC) 4.5/5 Stars

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab (ARC)| 4/5 Stars

P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han (Reread) | 5/5 Stars

The only book I didn’t read on my July TBR was Katherine Arden’s The Girl in the Tower, partially because I read other books on my TBR, partially because the third book got moved to 2019 instead of August 2018.

I also completed my Goodreads Reading Challenge of 70 books this month! I’m now challenging myself to get to 100 books by the end of the year.

Incredibles II & Bao- The six year old me was more than excited to finally see Incredibles II this month. I admit that I was a bit nervous going in, but Incredibles II was just so good and funny. Jack-Jack and Edna completely stole the show for me and my sisters. And as expected, I LOVED BAO! The dumpling was just so cute, I loved its meaning, and I really didn’t think it was as weird as people on Twitter made it out to be.

Dynasty– Confession time: I will still watch Victorious on Teen Nick. That being said, I was super intrigued by the CW’s reboot of Dynasty starring Liz Gillies, which has become my latest CW obsession. Yes, it’s overdramatic, yes it’s so good, and yes I like it even better than Riverdale (I admit the second season of Riverdale was pretty lackluster for me). I flew through the first season of Dynasty on Netflix and I am more than ready for season two this fall.

Set It Up– THE ROM COM IS BACK PEOPLE! Netflix’s Set It Up was such an enjoyable movie, and I hope that they continue to make rom-coms. I haven’t watched The Kissing Booth yet (I keep hearing mixed things), but HELLO TO ALL THE BOYS I”VE LOVED BEFORE!

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel –If you’re looking for a comedy this summer with a female protagonist, look no further than The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It’s definitely different than Gilmore Girls, but any Stars Hollow resident can see creator Amy Sherman-Palladino’s influence. Another show where I am more than ready for the second season!

Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta and basically all the TLC wedding shows- Rainy summer days call for staying inside with all the books and TLC wedding shows. I’ve been really enjoying the latest season of Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta and please tell me we’re getting more new episodes of Four Weddings.

Reviews

New Fictional BF & A Dream Library: Strange the Dreamer Review

Movies I’ve Watched Recently: Inspired by From Twinkle, With Love

Review: The Summer of Us by Cecilia Vinesse

Love & My Language Skills: Love & Gelato Review

Summer Contemporary Visits Ireland : Love & Luck Review

ELIZAAAAA: Love & War Review

Review: Starry Eyes by Jenn Bennett

A New Favorite Fantasy: Grace and Fury Review

Monthly Mix

Black Cat Blue Sea Award

It’s A Fangirl Life: June Wrap Up

Start of Something New: July TBR

Top Five Wednesday: Future Classics

Monthly Recomendations: Books Worth a Reread

Favorites Rewind: 2018 Best Books 

SO I HAVEN’T READ ALL THE BOOKS: January-June 2018 Releases

25 Bookish Facts About Me Part 2

IT WAS EPIC: My Experience at Epic Reads Day

Epic Reads Day- I was fortunate enough toexperience HarperCollins’ first Epic Reads Day. It was beyond amazing to get to visit their offices and hear from all-star authors and staff. I hope Epic Reads continues to host this event, and I have an experience post all about the day linked above.

Funko Pop Shopping- I added two more Funko Pops to my collection for the first time in 2018. I finally treated myself and bought Luna Lovegood with her Gryffindor hat. Barnes & Noble restocked her online, and a coupon and gift card were just calling my name. I also bought one of the San Diego Comic Con exclusives, Nearly Headless Nick. It’s so cool how he glows in the dark!

What did you read or watch in July? Share in the comments!

BOOKS & TV IN THE POOL: July Wrap Up Another month full of books, TV, and pool time, another summer month in the books *le sigh*

[skabunny]

2018 a Year in Review

Hey Adventurers! Every year on social media I devour lists of list of lists all the good, bad, sweet and terrible things that happened through the year. The more pictures, tweets and ideas the better. I don’t have a whole lot to talk about to review this year so this is gonna be a two part blog. Today we’re gonna talk about things that happened and Tuesday I’m going to post a special blog of the things that I’m hoping to do in 2019.

I think I’ve talked about it here. I don’t really hold to new years resolutions. I think the process is a bit silly and it doesn’t really talk about goals, it more talks about all of the things you hate about yourself. and I’m super not ok with that. I’ll be starting the Love Your Life in 30 Days workbook from Mike Dooley. You can find the book anywhere, I have it on my kindle and I try to do it in the first 90 days of the year to give me perspective and help me to see what I’m doing and where I want to go. Last year I didn’t get super far, but I’ll be updating progress on Instagram and thanks to integration you’ll be able to follow it on Twitter and Facebook as well. I’m usually pretty good at starting so hopefully with your help I’ll get through all 30 days no problem.

Without Further Ado…

I made goals this year to work on my health, emotional well being and saying no.

I improved my boundaries. I learned to say no more often and especially when it’s in my best interest. I’m not perfect at it, but as someone who’s recovering from saying yes ALL the time, no was a pretty big deal to begin with.

It took a while, but I finally called financial aid and was able to get help affording my health care costs. I saw doctors for help with all kinds of things including my hips, weight loss, my tonsils, and the constant nausea.

I lost 10 lbs. Which is a freaking miracle. The number isn’t a big deal to me. I’m more excited that it’s 10 lbs less on my hips and what is hopefully at least a little more time to a hip replacement.

I started journaling. First using a bullet journal adjacent to my planner and then with the Journey app I purchased for my ChromeBook. I’m a huge fan of journaling. I talk to people about it all the time and I’ve been using it a lot as a tool to really kinda pull my shit together and bring things to focus. Sure they’ll exist forever and whatever, but this is more for me as a tool to be a better me now.

I took a risk at work and it paid off

When I found myself tasked with the responsibilities of someone in a Senior role, I didn’t wait around to find out when I would be made a senior tester, I took the initiative to learn what I needed to do for that role and then make it happen.

I also had an opportunity to step into a new department and take on a whole new standard of testing. This is must more strict, but also way more fun. It’s a huge risk, but hopefully it pays off in the long run with a great experience and a fantastic learning opportunity.

I met someone.

I’m not gonna go into details, for many reasons it didn’t work out. But finding people in your life that really meet you and see you for who you are is such an incredible and life altering experience that I’m grateful for every second of that seriously unique experience. I may talk about it someday, but for now I’m gonna keep it as mine.

Meeting someone who makes you feel like you’re made of magic is such a huge thing, but it seriously opened my eyes to a lot of the things that I’d been missing around me and allowed for a huge piece of closure for me. I talked about it a bit here. I’m incredibly lucky that my ex and I worked on our friendship and I feel so wonderfully blessed that his girlfriend has become a friend. They’re wonderful people together and I’m so excited to watch them grow.

I have some amazing friends

Work friends are weird. You meet because you’re all in the same place and then somehow you’re all friends based on almost no feature, just the nature that you’re friends now. Some of those friends have become regular parts of my day, regardless of what department I’m in or what I’m doing I make a point to talk with them. Laugh with them and try new things they recommend. We share videos, details of our lives outside of work and are people in a way that you can only be people with real friends. I’m super lucky that they wanted to talk and that we all still get along even when my world is crazy.

I also had the amazing opportunity to re-connect with one of my favorite people. I’m super grateful for her and for the joy she’s brought back to my life and I’m beyond excited to see what amazing things come for her in the new year.

One of my favorite people started her next chapter by moving to Oakland this year. I’m super excited for her and all of her adventures, but I super miss her.

I started streaming

Twitch is a whole new world, but it’s been really exciting to get started and really see the community from the inside. I’ve been wanting to do a lot of creative things and streaming on Twitch was one way to really get started with some of those things.

I also relaunched skaBunny Makes! This was a big deal. I had to close down the site in February because I was out of funds and creative energy to really work on it. After helping other people really work on reaching for their dreams and watching them go for it regardless of consequences I decided to leap and start again. I’m still rusty, but I’ve been pretty empowered to keep going and I’m loving the opportunity to talk about things that are going on and stuff I think is super important.I have a lot of stories to tell and I”m hoping to do more of that here.

I edited a book of poetry. I’m really proud of the poet who took their opportunity to tell their story on their terms. I may not have always been happy with them, but I’m super proud of all the work they did to complete the book.

Intersectional Feminism came into my life this year

I’ve always been a feminist, but this year I really started critically thinking about the world around me. It’s made it hard to really love certain things that I did love, but also it’s opened my eyes to just how blind I’ve been to my own prejudice and the ideas I learned back in the day. I am a huge believer in challenging my assumptions. This year I put my money where my mouth was and started learning instead of just talking. I’m hoping to bring some of these lessons and stories to you over the next year, but we’ll see. I have a lot more to learn.

I also stepped outside of my comfort zone at some point this year and started reading new authors I hadn’t experienced before. The new perspectives were enlightening and I found that the new stories really re-ignited my passion for storytelling and for listening. I’d become very good at talking over the last few years, so this year I really tried to listen more than I spoke. It’s something I’m gonna have to keep working on. But it’s a process I’m not going to stop.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - I didn’t get to see many movies this year minus the fact that I had movie pass, but I did get to see the new Spider-Man animated movie which was a beautiful, smart, brilliant movie about a biracial Spider-Man who’s father is a police officer and his mother is a nurse. It’s a brilliant story, but beyond that there are several moments that just kinda punch you in the stomach. I was told I’d cry a lot and I did. Linda Holmes from NPR picked the conversation between Mile’s father and the locked bedroom door as her moment, and it’s a good one. Mine might have been the one a few minutes before. I can’t give up all the details, but I keep thinking about it. I highly recommend the movie.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s 2017 book “Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions” - I found this book while looking up stories I hadn’t read before. It’s a bright take on raising children to be feminists. Adichie a Nigerian novelist and writer of the essay “We Should All Be Feminists“ makes some incredible points about how we raise children and what is beneficial to raise socially aware, strong, intelligent children. It’s a great read and her TED Talk is fantastic if you’re looking for something like that.

Killing Eve - OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG. This show. I had to start off slowly, but the last few episodes I couldn’t stop. Sandra Oh's Eve was a brilliant balance to Jodie Comer’s Villanelle. Both dark, both completely honest about who they are, both strong amazing women. I was so blown away by the power of these incredible women. The supporting cast was brilliant, I am still kinda in shock from the end. I can’t spoil anything, you should watch it.

Timeless - Ok, so the show is basically a soap opera with time travel, but they meet some amazing people and I really loved every second of this silly show. I have the two hour ending to finish, but I’m still not ready to be done with this silly show.

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel - Brilliant show from the creators of Gilmore Girls. I love it more, I think it’s hilarious and amazing and so much fun to watch. I feel like there could definitely be more representation, but it’s still charming and I still can’t wait to finish it.

Cartoons of 2018 don’t need their own individual sections. I’m still super in love with Steven Universe, Star Vs the Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Bob’s Burgers, Super Monsters, Young Justice, She-Ra and Hilda. They’re all worth a watch and a lot of fun.

Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette - I can’t talk about this enough. You need to see it. You can watch it on Netflix. It’s powerful, brilliant and so very smart. It’s a story, it’s a comedy, it’s a whole lota truth. Watch it and then read this Wired piece. I can’t even tell you all the feelings and ideas and discussions that were started because of this piece. She’s amazing and I am so delighted we share a name.

The 13th Doctor - I haven’t had a chance to start watching the episodes, but knowing that the Doctor is a woman and that she’s off having adventures and kicking ass makes me so incredibly happy and the clips I’ve seen are brilliant.

DC Universe Titans - This was an unexpected addition to my life. I’ve never been a big DC comics fan. I have a lot of feelings regarding how they handle lots of things, but this show started and I was able to watch with someone who’s a huge fan and it has been a trip. Another dark and serious show, but it’s been really interesting and very good. I’m really interested to see what happens next. I’m also super excited for the launch of the new Titans comics in June with art by Gabriel Picolo .

So that’s 2018. Lot’s of things made better by experiences, some sad moments, lots of happy ones. So much more going on and so many more adventures to have. I’ll be back on Tuesday with goals and plans for 2019.

XoxO Adventurers!

Hh G

Thank you for coming to visit and for continuing to support skaBunny Makes. This is a project I work on because I love it. If you love it and want to support, please contact me at skabunny.creative@gmail.com. You should also reach out if you have a guest post you’d like me to publish or if there are topics you would like me to cover. You can find a list of projects I’m working on in the Other Projects folder and you can listen to me chatter, mostly at myself 3 days a week on Twitch - Mondays, Thursdays from 7:30 to 9:30 pm and Saturdays from 7 pm to 11:30 pm.

New blog posts will be posted on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Some of it will be new content, new series, new images, but we’re still gonna talk about real life here. That’s not going to change. We will still cover loads of things that aren’t easy, mental health, life choices, living with your body, new families, life, changes in the world and all kinds of other things. Life is an adventure, this one is mine.

[theconservativebrief]

The first 30 seconds of the trailer for Insatiable, a new comedy series coming to Netflix on August 10, introduces the story of a chubby high schooler grappling with bullies, unrequited crushes, and the FOMO that comes from nights spent on the couch eating ice cream.

It’s all a fairly standard setup for what looks to be a show about modern teens — perhaps even one that, like Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, is benefitted by the fact that its lead looks more like an average high schooler than the glamorous 20-something stars of shows like Riverdale.

But then the trailer takes a turn. Patty, our main character, gets punched in the face, has her jaw wired shut for months, and thereby loses so much weight that by the time she goes back to school in the fall, she’s a bonafide (thin) hottie. It’s with this newfound power that she can apparently get her revenge on the kids who’d excluded her in the past.

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Because no one has officially reviewed the show yet, the trailer is all that we have to determine what the rest of Insatiable will look like and what themes it will deal with. But based on that one minute and 30 seconds, the reaction has been … not great.

Critics on Twitter and elsewhere have called the premise of the show fatphobic, triggering to people with eating disorders, and a regressive lens through which to view fat people’s stories. The Good Place star Jameela Jamil, who has advocated for body autonomy in the past, tweeted about how there’s a problem with implying that the only way to “win” in life is to diet:

Kids who bully are just miserable, badly raised arseholes. It is not, and should not ever be YOUR problem that they have a problem with you. You don’t have to conform. You don’t have to placate. Revenge isn’t a good use of your time and energy. And starving yourself is

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) July 20, 2018

Writer Roxane Gay also noted the trailer’s flawed logic that fat women can’t stand up for themselves and must undergo physical trauma to become their best, skinny selves:

Ahhh yes, a fat girl could never stand up for herself while fat and of course she has to be assaulted and have her mouth wired shut before she becomes her best self, her skinny self. Good to know!

— roxane gay (@rgay) July 22, 2018

There’s now even a Change.org petition that, as of publication, has garnered more than 145,000 signatures to stop Netflix from airing the show, on the grounds that releasing it will be damaging to young girls’ self-esteem and cause or trigger eating disorders.

One day after the trailer premiered, on July 20, Insatiable’s writer and producer Lauren Gussis defended the show against critics, writing that the inspiration was based on her own experience with an eating disorder as a teenager, and that comedy is a means of dealing with our vulnerabilities.

Star Debby Ryan, a former Disney Channel actress, took to Instagram to defend the show, writing that it was a satirical look at “how difficult and scary it can be to go to move through the world in a body,” and assured viewers that the humor is “not in the fat-shaming.” Alyssa Milano, who also appears in the trailer, said in a 30-minute Twitter video that she “totally gets” the backlash to the trailer, but hopes people will wait to see the full show before judging it.

This, above all, is what the creators and stars are attempting to communicate. But for people who are so accustomed to seeing their stories told onscreen via the same harmful tropes, the Insatiable trailer could be seen as just another exhausting example of the negative ways TV and movies portray fat people.

To understand why the Insatiable trailer hit such a nerve, you have to look at pop culture’s terrible track record of telling fat people’s stories.

On July 23, artist and writer Kiva Bay asked his Twitter followers to name the fat-hating moment in media that has stuck with them, starting with the scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Aunt Marge inflates to such great proportions that she literally floats away.

Responses ranged from Bridget Jones being consistently described as fat (in the books, she weighs 130 pounds) to pretty much the entire premise of Pixar’s Wall-E, which depicts a futuristic dystopia in which everyone isn’t just overweight, but share the negative characteristics associated with being overweight: that they are lazy and stupid, and that all they care about is passively consuming whatever’s in front of them.

The problem persists even in media that’s often held up as progressive — many people in the thread called out Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks & Recreation’s recurring fat jokes, while others brought up the inherent fatphobia of shows like Gilmore Girls and 30 Rock in which objectively thin main characters have an obsession with unhealthy food.

A 2009 Jezebel piece described the “skinny glutton” phenomenon as “a sure indicator to the audience that these women are Single, Quirky and, (because they’re thin, only gently) Sad” because casting an actually fat actor in the role would, the thinking goes, be too pathetic.

The Insatiable trailer also reprises an especially troubling Hollywood practice: the fat suit. When a character actually is meant to be fat, instead of casting a bigger actor in the role, often a thin actor will wear a fat suit.

We tend to see them used in flashbacks to a time when a now-thin character was fat, like Monica in Friends, Schmidt in New Girl, or Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. The “humor” comes not only from seeing actors wearing a silly costume, like Eddie Murphy in Norbit or The Nutty Professor, but also from the ability to crack jokes at a past character’s fatness with the knowledge that the present character is laughing now, too.

Few uses of fat suits, however, are more controversial than the 2001 film Shallow Hal, in which Jack Black plays a man who has to be hypnotized to find Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit sexy enough to be his girlfriend. Not only is the entire premise pretty gross, but, as a Telegraph piece noted after comparisons were drawn to the recent Amy Schumer film I Feel Pretty, the movie consistently uses fat bodies as punchlines:

“The camera linger[s] over every dimple and crease on the physical form of Ivy Snitzer, Paltrow’s body double, and contrasting the sight of Paltrow in revealing booty-shorts with a large woman spilling out of her clothes. Jokes are endlessly made about her appetite, while every chair Rosemary sits on appears perilously close to collapsing (it’s a sight-gag that is repeated twice on-screen, along with a deleted scene involving a caved-in bed).”

That contrast — the visual of the character wearing a fat suit versus the character without it — can have the effect of implying that fatness, when constantly compared to the superior thinness, is grotesque and deserves to be laughed at.

That’s the history Insatiable is drawing on when it puts Debby Ryan in a fat suit, regardless of intention.

And there is yet another pattern that Insatiable seems to fall into: the idea that weight loss is the road to happiness. Friends’ Monica and New Girl’s Schmidt are both characters who don’t accomplish their goals until they lose weight. The entire wellness industry is based around this false promise — that losing weight is the key to getting whatever you’ve always wanted, whether that’s love, money, or revenge. (See: Khloe Kardashian’s extremely on-the-nose reality series, Revenge Body.)

In an essay for Medium titled “To the writers of Insatiable,” fat activist and writer Your Fat Friend wrote about the problem with this narrative, pointing out that not only do 97 percent of dieters gain back what little weight they lose (or more), but that weight loss is often the only narrative that fat people get to have.

She continues:

I have never seen a fat life like mine on screen. I have not seen fat people recklessly, happily in love, as I have been. I have not seen thin partners struggle to accept their own attraction to fat people. I have not seen fat people getting promoted, getting fired, working hard, succeeding. I have only seen fat people fail. Anything else, I have learned, is reserved for the penitent thin.

In short, fat characters are defined entirely by their fatness, and only get to become multi-dimensional once they lose the weight. It’s a trope that the Insatiable trailer even touches on in a meta way: When Patty returns to school, newly thin, she muses, “Now I could be the former fatty who turned into a brain, or an athlete, or a princess,” as if these character traits can’t apply to fat people because their main identifier is already “fat.” Until we see the show, it isn’t clear where this strain of self-awareness’s endpoint lies, or how far the series will take its meta-understanding of fat tropes, but it could be a promising sign.

So yes, the Insatiable trailer, as of right now, is still just a trailer; there’s still a whole show to come and be watched and discussed, starting on August 10. But many viewers are worried that the groundwork seems to be laid for a series about the same stories of fat people we’ve seen thousands of times over.

And though its stars and creators promise the show is an empathetic look at the pressures modern teenagers face surrounding body image, well, don’t we already sort of … know them? Above all, what’s necessary is an empathetic look at fat people in general: one that ideally doesn’t involve weight loss — and certainly no fat suit.

Original Source -> Why 150,000 people are calling for Netflix to cancel the teen comedy Insatiable before it debuts

via The Conservative Brief

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

I miss the days before everyone was addicted to streaming services

FOMO, recognized by many as a soul-crushing feeling of missing out on something wonderful, is brought on by a variety of different circumstances.

The sensation is pretty common nowadays. It can hit when you see friends engaging in a Twitter discussion without you, or co-workers posting photos from a happy hour that you missed. I've experienced a ton of FOMO in my 25 years of life, but one of my least favorite forms is the FOMO that arises when people are bonding in front of me over a movie or television show I've never seen.

As someone who loves television and hates feeling left out, whenever this happens I find myself thinking, "GAH, I miss life before streaming services."

SEE ALSO: Learning to let go of your entertainment backlog

Now you might be thinking to yourself, well, if you really loved television you'd think streaming was the best thing since sliced bread DVD box sets. And I do. I have Netflix and Hulu subscriptions and spend so many hours in front of my television that I've surely left an imprint in my couch. But all the different platforms, hundreds of exclusive originals, and subscription prices in the world today really pile on the pressure.

I can't help but feel like a movie and TV show version of Ash Ketchum, in the sense that I GOTTA WATCH 'EM ALL. But I can't. So here I am, longing for the days before streaming — a time when tuning into the latest shows felt like a far more relaxed and even playing field.

The problems with streaming

Think about it: Today we've got streaming services like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, and HBO Now. And those are just some of the most popular.

I can't even think about Sling TV, and all the other cable alternatives out there right now, so for the purpose of this article let's concentrate on those first four. Each costs money and each creates its own original content, so if you don't have subscriptions to all of them, you're definitely missing out on something.

If you don't have Netflix, you're isolated from hundreds of originals, including one of the greatest romantic comedies the world has seen in years. You're also woefully behind in the Marvel Universe, there's a good chance you've never experienced Stranger Things, and you have yet to be blessed by the Fab Five Guardian Glow-Up Angels that are the cast of Queer Eye!

No Hulu? That means no Handmaid's Tale, no Casual, and where the HECK are you watching re-runs of The Mindy Project? 

While I personally have access to all those brilliant programs, I don't have HBO Now, which means I've sadly never had the pleasure of seeing other great shows like Insecure or Veep. It means that during Game of Thrones season I walk into the office every Monday unable to participate in my colleagues impassioned discussions. And I'm fine with that, but it doesn't mean I don't feel left out.

Believe it or not, the most devastating streaming FOMO I have yet to experience isn't related to not knowing what's up in Westeros. It comes from not owning an Amazon Prime account.

For years I was perfectly content living a Prime-less existence, considering I almost never purchase anything on Amazon.com. But in 2017, everything changed. The Golden Globe-winning Marvelous Mrs. Maisel came out, and I, a die-hard Amy Sherman-Palladino fan since Gilmore Girls first aired in 2000, was unable to experience the magic. I don't feel I should be isolated from content simply because I don't want a Prime account. Like, put that shit on the CW or something, please! 

After a week of listening to people rant and rave over Marvelous Mrs. Maisel's characters, writing, and performances my sadness transformed into anger, and my internal grudge against streaming was born. 

It's not just TV...

Sadly, the stresses of streaming aren't simply confined to television — they're creeping into the music world, too. (Lookin' at you, Bey and Jay.)

Apple Music and Spotify are over there duking it out, while Tidal's keeping quality Queen content under lock and key, making non-members feel like they're shamefully living under a cultural rock for days on end. 

Ugh should I download Tidal??? Having major FOMO rn pic.twitter.com/uK9gFCasiN

— Andrew🥂 (@_AndrewC17) June 17, 2018

Thankfully, I used an HBO free trial to watch Beyoncé's Lemonade live — because I fear that level of FOMO would have sent me to my grave — but I still had to wait until it was no longer a Tidal exclusive to listen to the actual album. 😒

So while music streaming gives you access to such an overwhelmingly wide library of music, there are cases like when Beyoncé drops an album, for example, in which you can't have timely access unless you pay for a certain subscription. It's straight up peer-pressure, and it's infuriating.

Hello? Is anyone out there?!

Beyond the basic FOMO, streaming stresses lie in the race to binge-watch after an entire original season drops, the overloaded queue, and the feeling that there's simply too much content to consume.

The fast-paced viewing life is fun sometimes, but once in a while I can't help but miss the days of waiting a week between single episodes to find out what happens next, knowing the rest of the world was doing the same. Now there's cable AND streaming to worry about!

While writing this article I began to wonder if I was alone in my love/hate feelings towards streaming, so I sought out some thoughts from my fellow binge-watching colleagues.

Turns out Entertainment Reporter Kellen Beck gets overwhelmed by streaming services, too. "I like streaming, but the pressure of watching everything is something I do not like," Beck said — a topic which he explored further in this piece about coming to terms with your massive entertainment backlog.

But Mashable Culture Writer Martha Tesema offered another perspective, explaining she personally feels far less FOMO nowadays than she did growing up without cable. She likes the fact that streaming lets her watch things on her own terms and that watch shows whenever, wherever. All very valid points.

The solutions

The way I see it, there are a few way to conquer the overwhelming exclusivity of streaming services. The first, and what I'm sure many seem is the easiest, is to succumb to the stress, pull out your wallet, and subscribe to them all.

But you know what? I refuse. In this frustrating scenario, you drop a pretty penny on streaming services for what? Dozens of exclusives and loads of repeat content that exists across multiple platforms? Not to mention an unbearably overwhelming amount of content that you'll likely never have time to even put a dent in... No thank you. 

I'm a millennial, and I don't know if you've heard or not but if I ever want to buy a house I shouldn't even spend money on avocado toast — let alone splurge on more than two streaming subscriptions.

Another problem-solving trick of the trade I've been enlightened on is to simply share accounts. Find a friend, a family member, essentially anyone who's willing to save a few bucks and work out a deal to share passwords. Maybe you can pay for two services and share your password in exchange for their passwords for the other two services. That way everyone's happy! 

And of course, there's always the Keep Creating New Emails To Take Advantage Of As Many Free Trial Sessions As Needed option. But honestly, that can become a lot of work.

The future of FOMO

When cable TV ruled the world visual entertainment felt more like a leisurely reward and less like a race to educate yourself for the purpose of keeping up with pop culture. There were still different packages and premium channels, sure, but you could pick what you want, pick what you didn't and it was done. Everything was in one place and it was glorious.

But it's 2018 and streaming — with all its frills, bonus packages, and competitive content — looks like it's here to stay for a while. It's messy but it's reality, so I guess it's time to stream on and  embrace that FOMO, people.

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