#the fact that the missing word fucked the iambic really bothered me

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

well...

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.28-32, QF Mega-Blog

What better thing to do, when forced to stay at home during the outbreak of a global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it, than catch up on watching and writing about the quiz show whose previous four episodes you had missed for various reasons, all of which seem frivolous following the outbreak of a global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it. Also, I kept seeing that Twitter meme about Shakespeare having written King Lear during the plague quarantine and fancied getting involved.

Its also the only sport of any kind that can be found on TV for love nor money (apart from the Turkish Superlig, which for some reason thinks itself immune). Maybe the Premier League should try out pre-recording like the Challenge, for precisely this kind of situation. Just get Salah, De Bruyne and all the boys together for a few kick-abouts, film a few goals and slide tackles and all that, and keep the footage for a rainy day. Or send a camera round Serena Williams’ gaff, log a couple of serves and forehands, cut it together - BOOM, there’s your Wimbledon final if Greta decides tennis is too carbon-heavy.

All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen University Challenge postponed due to a  global virus that threatens not only millions of peoples lives but the very fabric of society as we know it (although, as I write this I’m realising that the recordings of next years show will probably be delayed. Shit)

Episode 28 - Courtauld vs Imperial

Whenever I’ve not written one of these for a while it takes me a while to figure out what the heck it is I’m doing. Like, what do I usually write about? How have I managed to put out 118 of these? Do you reckon Shakespeare felt the same way when he was between plays - would he sit down with his quill and parchment and wonder aloud, ‘What the fuck is an iambic pentameter and how do I find one?’ (If I 1: knew the answer to that question; and 2: could be bothered, then I would have written that question in iambic pentameter, but you should know by now you’re dealing with one lazy blogger).

Anyway, Imperial had blazed aside all before them in the opening two rounds, thanks in no small part to the efforts of mercurial star Brandon, whose laconic style has drawn unfair criticism as arrogance. Thats how it always goes with the social media juries though - if a contestant displays any level of confidence above the bare minimum then they’re too big for their boots. But then if they grin and seem really happy when they get an answer that’ll probably annoy some people too. Almost as if they can’t win and there’s no point playing this game to appease the kind of people who get annoyed at kids on quiz shows.

The Courtauld side fall into the grinning category. They all four of them seem genuinely delighted to be on the show, and even more delighted that they managed to win two matches and make it to the quarter finals - their second round defeat of Glasgow a particularly impressive performance.

Glasgow were a good side, but Imperial are a different gravy, and Courtauld, after a neg on the opening question, seem like rabbits in the headlights (when they should have been at home, the whole country’s on lockdown, dammit Peter!) as Brandon sycthes down question after question, fearful to fall further below zero in case they can’t make it back up again.

For a while it looked as though that might end up being the case, as Imperial pranced into a hundred point lead within six questions, but Haigh finally stopped the rot, and Courtauld would add some respectability over the rest of the episode. In truth, it was clear from that point onwards that the race had been run, and Brandon seemed to relax from thereon out, and his teammates picked up the slack, though that seems like doing them a disservice, as they all seem very accomplished in their own right.

Final Score: Courtauld 75 - 240 Imperial

Episode 29 - Trinity, Cam vs Corpus Christi, Cam

Right, on to the next, and for Ep 29 we had our first Cam-Cam slugfest of the series. There had already been plenty of Ox-Cam derbies of course, you can’t move for them half the time, but no inter-collegiate battles thus far. Whoever won would become the first side to reach the semi-finals, with Trinity having beaten Manchester and Corpus Wolfson in their respective opening quarter final clashes.

Stewart, who doesn’t look like he would be out of place in the Byzantine Empire, gets Corpus off the mark with ‘Byzantine’ (I have basically no idea what this comparison would actually mean, or if it is in fact a sick burn, but I feel like he has an old-timey medieval look about him and felt like this should not go unaddressed. Like, he wouldn’t look strange wearing a tunic, would he?).

Russell and Wang increased the lead before Hughes got Trinity into the game with what looked like a semi-guess on a maths-y starter. Paxman, who clearly enjoys toying with the Corpus captain, then gets Wang for the second match in a row with a double serving of Boomer sarcasm. When Wang rather dejectedly says, ‘Its not Isaac Asimov, is it? No’, the quizmaster further interrogates him as to whether he was giving a question or an answer, much in the way an irritating geography teacher would parrot ‘Of course you can go to the toilet, the question is whether or not you may’. He’s right though, and Corpus gobble up two more bonuses on sci-fi writers.

Another starter went to Stewart, and a first for Gunasekera. Corpus were starting to look comfortable, but a brief flurry from Trinity around the music round looks like it might bring them into contention. But that’s all it was, the briefest of flurries, like that random day in April or October where someone says ‘is it snowing?, and you all look out of the window, but before you can actually work out if it really was snowing or if it was some sort of white rain, its stopped.

Corpus stretch their legs now, and find themselves beyond two hundred points before Trinity turn themselves back on, which they eventually do, building up to a not-disgraceful 80 before the gong.

Final Score: Trinity 80 - 245 Corpus

Episode 30 - Manchester vs Wolfson, Ox

Because I do this on Tumblr, one of the most annoying things about doing this (and I know its dumb), and something that I think might subconsciously play into me not doing these more regularly, is that when I try and add the pictures of the teams to the post it quite often takes ages and sometimes causes the page to freeze so that I can’t save/post it. This problem is exacerbated when there are multiple episodes to get through, which makes it one of those snowballing problems that only gets worse the longer you leave it - like when you put off repying to an email until it becomes almost a monolithic entitiy in your mind. 

It only takes a few minutes to fix this - you copy and paste the text and then add the images in a different window (though there is another annoying thing where the hashtags don’t save anyway, so you have to retype the hashtags - and for some reason I always add loads of hashtags, including #JeremyPaxman - which also feels like it takes an epoch) - but its one of those few minute periods that feel like fifteen minutes. So basically, what I’m saying is that I can’t be assed adding the pictures to the post at this point. I might add them later, but for now you’re just getting words, so, so many rambling words. 

Manchester are back in the last eight for the first time in donkeys, but they stand on the precipice following a trouncing by Trinity in their QF-opener (I’ve already mentioned this in the last review, which normally wouldn’t matter, but since its directly above this one then it might seem a bit repetitive, but I don’t know if I can rely on your having remembered). Wolfson were likewise (likewise were? Are both okay) baeten by Corpus Christi (which is also referenced above, sorry) so this one was an ELIMINATOR!

Neither side seemed to realise this from the off though (I say though too much don’t I? If I had more time I’d probably edit a few down. But I’m doing a 5-episode mega-post so I don’t, though. Shit. Actually, that one was on purpose winky face) and sort of stumble through the first few questions with some atrocious work on the bonuses. 

Green thought he’d pulled a great answer out of the bag to kick start the match, but Fanny Burney Fanny Burnett is not, and Paxo decries the crowd for being amused at how close Green had come (they having let out a collective ‘oooh’, much in the same way their footballing equivalent may have done at a smashed crossbar). 

Even Jones, so electric in her previous appearances, was a bit slow off the mark tonight. On one occasion she even overruled her teammates conferred and agreed upon answer at the last moment, giving her own guess which they had dismissed, but fortunately for her they had both been wrong, so she did not look a fool.

Manchester were ahead, but couldn’t get far ahead. Wolfson were within touching distance, but couldn’t touch. Not until the very end that is. Caple took the final starter to draw them level and the gong sounded before th first bonus could be asked. DEADLOCK.

A #DEADLOCKELIMINATOR no less.

Paxman explains that a Neg on this question would hand victory to the other team without them lifting a buzzer-finger. He starts reading, no one buzzes. He continues to read. Everyone continues to not buzz. He carries on r- BUZZ. 

Manchester Rogers. Three words left on Paxo’s lips. He better be right. Kaiser Wilhelm. He isn’t. Otto Von Bismarck. An easy mistake to make, says Paxo. 

I reckon Wolfson would have picked up the drop anyway, but you can’t be sure.

My fellow UC blog, jacksonlinewritings, says that its the first time a neg has lost a tiebreak since 2002/03. 

Final Score: Manchester 125 - 130 Wolfson.

Episode 31 - Durham vs Imperial.

I don’t know if this is the first time I’ve written about the same team twice in one post before, but it may well be. Either way, you can (and probably already have) read everything I had to say about Imperial Brandon, my favourite contestant this series, further up this very page, so I don’t need to reiterate.

Durham’s Tams beats him to what I thought was a relatively easy starter on the Magna Carta (just spent a few minutes trying to come up with another word to rhyme with carta, thought it would be easy, but it was a bit harda). He gets the next one though (though) and his Captain Rich the third to give them the lead. Their opponents proved a tougher nut to crack than Courtauld though (though, and I’m not doing this on purpose. I’m just not removing them when I probably should be. They’re all coming up naturally. This is just how much I apparently use the word. If there are any others then please let me know) and cling on whenever Brandon threatens to zoom away.

Please forgive me for going on about Brandon, by the way. He’s just (I think ‘just’ is probably one, and probably ‘probably’ too) so captivating to watch. There were several times in this episode when I stopped watching the whole screen during a starter and focussed on him, expecting him to buzz in, which he duly did. Especially on the starters which are that bit more important, when Durham were (I need to do something about my tenses too, they’re all over the shop) threatening to make a comeback, you could feel certain that he was going to get it.

When the game has been won, he relaxes, so his personal scores haven’t been as high as those of others in past series, but he hasn’t needed to get more than he has done, so why would he bother? I expect if a team were to push Imperial close over a whole match then he’d easily post double figures.

Imperial join Corpus Christi in the semis. Durham live to fight another day.

Final Score: Durham 115 - 185 Imperial

Episode 32 - Jesus, Ox vs Courtauld

Phew! I’ve never written four in a night before. That was quite something. Wait, whats that, I have another one to go? Okay, lets do this - an advance warning, this one will probably (probably! Why do I feel the need to never be absolute about anything. I know for certain that this will be very short, so why must I try and placate some imaginary reader who might scold me for its being so?) be very short.

So, another ELIMINATOR. Courtauld were my favourite team of the series, but I harboured little hope for them, after such a crushing defeat by Imperial last time out, and Jesus were quick to crush what little I had left. Lucy Clarke, who absolutely relishes a buzz on the opening starter of a match, came in with an early buzz, as is her wont, and fortunately for the Oxonians she was right this time. She got the next one too, and Jesus were 45 up.

Three in a row for Courtauld captain Prance, who looks shocked every time he gets a starter correct, despite the fact that when he got the third of this hat-trick, he had quite clearly proved to himself that he knows how to answer starter questions by the fact that (the fact that Ducks, Newburyport) he had got the previous two. They were ahead now. Dare I dream?

No, I daren’t. Jesus quickly stole it back, and did not let it go. Courtauld stayed fairly close, but could never again broach the gap, struggling on the bonus questions whenever they got in. Perhaps on another night they might have stood a better chance (with a bonus set on collage art, which Paxman reckoned they would have knocked out of the park, going to Jesus), but tonight (its not tonight at all is it, not for me and not for you) was not their night.

And breathe...

Final Score: Jesus, Ox 135 - 90 Courtauld

If you’ve stuck with me through all of this, I’m frankly amazed. Thank you, and if you need something to do during self-isolation, there are like 6 whole series of the Challenge on YouTube. I haven’t reviewed them all, but thats probably for the best though.

[silly-nonny-fics-are-for-fandoms]

Ski trips

Bakukami week, Day 8 (Part one) : Snow @officialbakukamiweek Summary: Class 1-A is invited on a winter trip to a ski lodge when Kaminari and Bakugo get trapped in a cave due to a small avalanche, and the class searches desperately to find them. Meanwhile, the pair are forced to talk about their feelings to get along without damage, and finding ways to keep warm together. Read on AO3 Small note: If you’ve been following my Bakukami week entries, you’ll know I like to post them close together. Bc today has 11 fics I can’t without being at risk for being marked as a spam blog so there will be larger gaps. Also 6k+

Skiing wasn't something the class of 1-A usually would associate with hero training if everyone had been entirely honest. Other than forcing them to use their quirks in the snow, which they could do at home thank you very much, there wasn't a point. Even Aizawa admitted as such.

"We're going on this trip because the principal is sending us, no other reasons. It's privately owned by UA, so you can't find it on a map, and don't bring your costumes. Some of you have been approved to bring some gear, but that is all." He'd explained, after telling them about the trip. They'd be going to a hot spring resort in the mountains and would need to take a plane to get there. Not a bus. He'd also told them there'd be a hot spring bath they could soak in and games in the rooms, which would be assigned the day before departure. No swapping roommates, under any circumstances. For some, this was an easy rule to follow, but for others, things wouldn't be so easy.

Such is the fate of Kaminari Denki, a useless bisexual with a heart filled with dreams of a Shakespearean romance. No, not that one, more like As you Like it, A Midsummer Night's Dream or his favorite, Much Ado About Nothing. A hopeless romantic at heart, he could sing about it in sonnets with expressive iambic pentameter. If he could attain such a love in which to express properly, of course.  

If only the person whom he crushed heaviest on didn't hate everything about romance, from Valentine's cards to things like cuddling and holding hands. In fact, he'd once heard Bakugo during a classic lit class assignment tell him how absolutely stupid romance books were. Still, a guy could hope, right?

Maybe this trip would be a good experience, a chance for them to get closer, especially if they were going to possibly be roommates!

"Oh no, Denki's got his thinking face on!" Ashido chimed, once they had returned to the dorms after school.

"Don't break yourself," Jirou shrugged, immediately on her way to her dorm room for some quality jamming sessions. Too much time with idiots.

Kaminari didn't say anything, truly, too lost in his thoughts to do so. What would he need for the trip? Well, that depended on who he was rooming with. The list would be in the common room, or so Aizawa said, and most of the class had already crammed around it. Some were cheering, like Midoriya about being with Shinsou, Sato with Kouda and Iida smiling with his pairing of Shoji. Others were already grouping, such as Aoyama and Tokoyami, who's personalities bounced off of one another as well as their quirks. Kaminari didn't have the heart to go over and see who he was rooming with, too deep in thought as he made a list of what he would need, missing Bakugo walking over to him with a scowl.

"Oi, you're with Shitty Hair. Don't infect him with your idiocy." He growled, snapping Kaminari out of his thoughts.

"O-oh? Am I with Kirishima? What about you, who are you rooming with?" Kaminari asked, his face red as he stumbled over his words. What? When the object of your current stupid crush is in front of you, looking as hot as Bakugo does all the time, then anyone would react the same way!

"I'm with Soy Sauce. Got a problem?" Bakugo glared at the other blonde, who shook his head indignantly. When Bakugo left, Kaminari running up to Kirishima; the only other person who knew--Who are we kidding everyone except Bakugo knew--About his crush.

"Eiji-" Kaminari said, holding onto the redhead's sleeve to help ground himself. Kirishima raised an eyebrow, wanting to laugh at his antics, yet also knowing the common room wasn't the place to do so.

"C'mon, let's go to your room to talk." Kirishima chuckled, Kaminari nodding with a bright red face. They made their way to the third floor, the electric blonde jumping onto his bed and covering himself with the blankets, hiding his face in the pillow.

"He's so hot- Oh my god he's so hot and he actually cares- Wait he called me an idiot what am I saying- But oh man the look on his face!"

Kirishima took his seat at the desk, letting the excitement and energy wear off. "Mind if I change, man? You snatched one of my shirts, so-" He said, seeing a thumbs up emerge from the blanket roll.

"Oh my god, what am I going to do, Eiji? He's gonna notice eventually, or I'm gonna burst!" Kaminari whined, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"What are you going to do? Man, you're gonna tell him! Pull yourself together and tell him! Fight your feelings! Win! Come out on top!"

"You sound like a movie character- But yeah! I'll just tell him! One problem, how the heck do I do that?!"

"You just do it, dude! Tell him straight out, 'Hey, Bakugo, I like you!' How hard is that?"

"Eiji, my dude, I love you but-"

"I'm but a humble, somewhat functional gay and you are a disaster, useless bisexual. I'm aware."

"I was gonna say you've got experience and I am a blithering idiot, but that works too."

Kirishima bust out laughing, his t-shirt in hand as Kaminari emerged from the blanket burrito he'd made, locking eyes with a grin. "Wanna go do some pre-trip shopping? I need a new jacket before we leave,"

"Yeah, some gloves wouldn't hurt either. Mine kept ripping." Kirishima smiled, his dazzling smile blinding the blonde, who blocked his eyes with his arms.

"Nooooo, it's too bright! Too hot! I'm melting!"

"C'mon, bro, you don't melt. Bakugo would've melted you a long time ago." Kirishima snickered, blocking the pillow thrown at his face.

Honestly, being seated next to Bakugo on the ride up could have been worse. Kaminari had been approved to bring his communicator in case of an emergency, and Bakugo was allowed his gloves and jacket from his costume. Those were the only equipment passes he knew of, but he hadn't bothered to ask. They spent their time, mostly, listening to their own music and ignoring each other, with Kaminari chatting with Kirishima and Ashido in front of him, and Sero and Jirou behind. As much as it pained him to admit, Bakugo didn't seem interested in things, watching instead as the fall leaves of Musutafu turned to light snowfall of the mountains. The air had chilled, Tsuyu only awake by the layers and layers of warm clothes she wore and Todoroki next to her.

Things were quiet with the class, Kirishima leaning over and whispering, "Did'ya do it yet? Did you tell him?" with a grin.

"No, not. Uh. Not yet." He responded, sitting back with a blush, glancing at Bakugo who wasn't paying attention.

"C'mon, man, you gotta tell him before the trip is over! Plus ultra, yeah?" Kirishima lowered his voice, knowing that if anyone overheard him uttering the last sentence it would amount in yelling which Aizawa would now be able to handle. Not today, not with the three day weekend they had ahead.

"You can't honestly believe this isn't training too, right?" Kaminari raised an eyebrow, "There's not gonna be any free time if Mr. Aizawa has his way."

"Can he do that?" Ashido whined, interrupting their conversation.

"Anything can be a training experience," Sero sighed, his grin shaking a bit at the thought.

"Well, we can stay positive and try not to think about it! Right Bakugo?" Kirishima grinned at the way Kaminari's face bloomed red, Bakugo only looking away from the window to glare and scoff at them. Honestly, Kaminari wasn't sure he was going to survive the trip, because hello aloof Bakugo, meet the love-struck Kaminari.

The mountain was really, really tall. Okay, maybe that's why it was called a mountain, from the Vulgar Latin 'montanea', but why did the word come from that? Why montanea? Why?

Kaminari had to stop his train of thought before it went off the deep end because there was a hot guy next to him who tried to talk to him and he was thinking about mountains. Well, the origin of the word-- No! Not again!

He frantically shook his head to attempt to stay focused, tapping on his leg in assistance. His fidget toy had, unfortunately, been left on his bed at the dorms. He'd been thinking about skiing and snowboarding, and the idea to bring the thing which helped him focus wasn't once which struck him.

"Oi, dumbass!" Bakugo yelled, snapping his gloved fingers twice in front of Kaminari's face.

"I'm here!" Kaminari said, the cold nipping at his exposed face and nose. They'd only been at the resort for a few hours, and most of the class had decided it was too late to go out to the slopes at this hour. At the time, Kaminari was about to agree, until Bakugo got up and announced he was heading to the slopes to snowboard a bit before bed. The look on Kirishima's face had been priceless, even as Aizawa warned them to stick to the trails and make sure they had their phones on them in case of an emergency and stick together in pairs of at least two or more.

Of course, only a few others joined them. Yaoyorozu, Tokoyami, Todoroki, and Uraraka. Everyone else, wisely, stayed inside. The wind was picking up, snow blustering around them.

"Right, like fuck you are. Everyone else has already started heading down, let's go!" Bakugo glared defensively, and Kaminari nodded. They put their goggles on, the path illuminated by the lampposts along the treeline.

With Kaminari's lack of experience in skiing and his diminishing vision in the snow, it wasn't likely that he would make it down as fast as Bakugo, nor with as much precision. After all, Bakugo was the best at everything. He managed to make wearing a helmet look cool, even.

It felt faster than they were actually going, instead of the realistic twenty or thirty it felt like sixty or a hundred, wind slamming against their faces and snow barreling down upon them. The tail end of Bakugo's run, flurries coming from his bright orange snowboard, continued to block Kaminari's vision so he had to stop, leaning to the right to pull a full halt, veering off the path without realizing and yelling as he tumbled to the ground, back crashing against the packed snow. His legs pulled in towards his chest as pain crashed through him, arms coming up to protect his face.

He wasn't supposed to let either of those things happen, he knew, but he couldn't think at the moment as he came to a stop, thoughts garbled and head spinning.

Distantly, someone called out to him, gruff and annoyed, but he couldn't figure out who said it and what had happened. All Kaminari knew was that it was cold, dark, and he wanted nothing more than to lay there and get his breath back.

"Oi, wake up! Don't fucking die on me!" The voice called, and Kaminari looked up from the snow he'd faceplanted in to see Bakugo standing next to him, having unclipped one of his boots from the lock for stability in the snow. His arms were crossed, the scratchy sounding fabric of his black and orange jacket and snow pants the only thing which let him know which direction to look. He must have tumbled far away, considering how the light from the slope was distant.

"I'm not dead..." Kaminari said, pushing himself up from the snow with a wince. His wrists tingled, nothing too bad but enough to let him know something was wrong if he'd paid attention. Now in a kneeling position, he sunk into the cold whiteness, Bakugo staring him down.

"Right. C'mon, unclip, we're walking back to the stupid path." Bakugo said with a hiss, Kaminari's bright smile a perfect opposite response as he followed directions, unclipping one of his snowboard boots-- He should be able to feel his toes, right?

"Do you have any idea how fucking lucky you are, dunce face?" Bakugo hissed, staring beyond the other blonde.

"I didn't break anything or hit a tree, so I'd say I'm pretty lucky!" Kaminari chuckled, his words slightly slurred.

"Turn around! Fucking idiot!"

Behind him, ten or so feet away, was a cliff of dark nothingness. Kaminari gulped, nodding and hurrying to unclip himself.

As soon as one of his feet was free, a rumbling came from behind them, and the ground shook, Bakugo taking action before Kaminari even realized what was going on. He unclipped his other boot quickly, telling the other blonde to do the same before grabbing him, a forceful wave of snow plummeting them down the chasm, off the cliff.

"Hey, has anyone seen Kaminari and Bakugo?" Kirishima asked, sometime around midnight, "Kaminari never came to bed, man." He looked out around the room where Sero, Uraraka, Todoroki, and Midoriya were playing cards, though it looked as if Midoriya was about to fall asleep on Todoroki's left. They glanced up at him, and Uraraka seemed contemplative.

"I've been out here the whole time, dude, I wouldn't know if they came back." Sero shrugged.

"Now that you mention it, Kirishima, Bakugo did say that he wanted to do a few runs before coming back. I'm sure everything's fine!" Uraraka cheered, putting a card down and saying something about hearts having been broken.

"Kacchan is always in bed early," Midoriya mumbled, sleepily nuzzling against Todoroki. Was he even playing cards?

"I never saw them reach the bottom," Todoroki said, seeing Sero having played the ace of spades and playing the queen of spades, to Sero's extreme anguish.

Four pairs of eyes set themselves upon the candy cane haired teenager.

"You never saw them reach the bottom!?" Kirishima exclaimed in tandem with a now very much awake Midoriya.

"Shou, that's the kind of thing you tell people!"

"Uh, we should probably tell Mr. Aizawa..." Sero suggested, looking nervously around the table. "They could've gotten into an accident or something."

"But Kaminari has his communicator, and they have their phones!"

Todoroki pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing Kaminari quickly and receiving an immediate voice mail.

"Don't call Denki; for someone with an electrical quirk, his phone is never charged." Sero sighed, patting Kirishima's back to keep him from hyperventilating. Last time something like this happened, well, was back with Kamino.

"Oh my god villains might've- We gotta find them!!" Kirishima said, eyes wide and panic flooding his body.

"Call Bakugo first, Kiri, we have to stay calm," Sero said, patting the de-spiked red hair of his friend. Midoriya and Uraraka were attempting to explain why someone not coming down a hill when they were supposed to be was something to report to an oblivious Todoroki. Normally, this would be something amusing, yet it only served to heighten their anxiety as Kirishima shakily pulled out his phone and dialed Bakugo.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep... "You've reached Bakugo Katsuki. Fuck off or call back some other time."

"Get Aizawa. Now."

Waking up in darkness was never the best thing in Kaminari's mind. It meant that it was too early for the sun to be out and therefore he shouldn't be either. Really, how hard is that to understand? So, when he woke up and everything was dark, despite the stinging of his wrists, back, and legs, he tried to go right back to sleep. The bitter cold nipped at his face and wet clothes, his pulse quickening, and Kaminari had a hard time keeping himself from sparking. Cold tended to cause electricity to go berzerk.

"Kaminari," Bakugo said to the other shivering teen, the space in the cave not allowing for much room away.

Golden eyes opened again to see him, palm lightly sparkling and allowing light to fill the space again.

"Yeah...? Where are we..?"

"We're in a cave at the bottom of the cliff. I dragged your ass here, the storm picked up."

Ah, that's why he was soaked. The avalanche.

"Right..." Kaminari sighed, sitting up and shivering as a wind blustered into their space.

"Both our phones are fucked, where's your transmitter?" Bakugo asked, crossing his legs and leaning forward, keeping up the low light.

"It's my earmuffs," Kaminari reached up to his hat, hissing with the movement of his wrist. He mostly ignored it, pressing his numb, gloved hand to the electronic device, but it wouldn't turn on. Kaminari made a confused noise, trying to activate his quirk properly but for some reason, couldn't discharge.

"Something up?"

"Yeah, I can't... My quirk isn't working right."

"Fucking great. Probably 'cause of the shitty cold."

Kaminari couldn't argue, keeping to his side of the cave. He was alone, with his crush, and Bakugo knew better than to explode in this situation. How the hell is he gonna function through this without confessing?

"Hey, Bakugo?" Kaminari said, "How long do you think you can keep the light up?"

"A few hours, in the cold. The gloves help, but it's not great."

"I can take over the light if you need a break?"

"Fuck off!"

"Do you think they're looking for us?"

"They probably haven't even noticed we're not there. Get your damn quirk in order." Kaminari scootched closer, Bakugo glaring at him. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"It's cold..." Kaminari pouted, his gloved hands reaching out to the other teen.

"That's what happens when it snows, why are you touching me?"

"Because it's really tight in here, so if I move, I touch you."

"Why..." Bakugo growled, the light increasing from his hand as it twitched, crackling becoming louder and heat radiating off of it.

"Why what?" Kaminari didn't fall back, even daring to get closer to his crush with a bright red face.

"Why are you so fucking nice?! Why do you want to be near me?! What the hell do you gain from it?!" Bakugo exclaimed, ferocity lacing his words in every sense. Kaminari blinked twice, head tilted as another gust of wind blew into the cave, freezing him to his core with a shiver.

"I don't g-gain anything..." He said, "Just a... uh... A friend."

"And why in the ever loving fuck would you want to be my friend?!"

Kaminari grinned, a heart-stopping smile which made Bakugo twitch, red rising to his cheeks and a large boom emanating from his hand.

"Because you're not as scary as everyone thinks. You're actually nice, kind funny, passionate about everything you do and say. It's. Uh." Suddenly, Kaminari's face got redder, and he fell back to cover his face, static causing his hair to fly up on end. It was pretty cute, or so Bakugo thought, but it wasn't the point.

"It's what?! God, speak up!"

Kaminari mumbled, shaking his head.

"Fucking- Kaminari!"

Another shake, more shivering.

"Denki Kaminari, answer me!"

"It's one of the reasons I like you, you- You ass!" Kaminari pulled his hands off his face, tears brimming amber eyes, and Bakugo's heart cracked. His quirk stopped. The light faded, and they were left in darkness and the sound of the wind.

"Alright, everyone!" Aizawa yelled, "Split up into groups, don't go anywhere dangerous without a teacher and keep your cell phones on! We're search and rescuing; once you find them, alert those nearby! Do not act on your own under any circumstances and keep your lights on!"

The class, as a whole, agreed and set off in their different assigned directions.  

"I hope they're okay," Kirishima worried, his red skis a stark contrast against the white powder.

"They'll be fine, Kiri." Ashido soothed, her smile brighter than it had a usual right to be. She was great at making people around her happy, even in perilous situations. "Besides, wasn't Kami kinda right?"

"Huh?"

"It did turn into training!" Sero interrupted, his smile and positive attitude a balm for anxiety. Kirishima couldn't help but laugh through his worries.

"If you're calling this training, then pay attention!!" Aizawa zoomed past them, faster than they had ever seen, expertly making his way through the treelines.

"Uh."

"Yeah, let's... Let's go..."

"That's what I've been trying to do!"

"Kirishima don't go jumping towards any cliffs!"

"Sero, grab him!"

"On it!"

"Our friends are in danger!!"

"We're kind of a mess, aren't we?"

"I mean we've known this since day one but yeah, we're a mess,"

"Let me go!"

"Holy shit Sero- He's actually dragging you like a dogsled!"

"We gotta chill out and keep rational heads, Kiri!"

"You really just said that to Kirishima of all people?"

If anyone had been around to witness such acts, they might have assumed this was the result of being without Bakugo, but no. No. These actions perfectly recreated the Bakusquad, especially as they planned to cuddle the crap out of the two once they found them.

"You... Like me?" Bakugo said, his voice a mere whisper above the roaring wind.

"Y... Yeah, I do. I-I have for a while, now." Kaminari's breath came in puffs, wavering as he lost feeling in his hands and trust in his vision, shaking and pulling in on himself to stay warm. Unlike his partner, his jacket didn't work as well as an insulator and at keeping him warm.

"I don't fucking get it- Why would you like me?!" Bakugo growled into the darkness, which slowly became illuminated by the electricity bouncing off of Kaminari. He couldn't focus it, instead, it spread around him and flowed freely, faster than ever because of the cold. It licked at the walls, buzzing and dropping the temperature around the shaking blonde.

"You... I..." Kaminari's vision blurred, slowly and he swayed, attempting to focus in on the other. "I just do." He whispered, lost to the winds as he fell forward, shaking wildly and losing feeling.

Bakugo's cracked heart shattered.

He reached forward to pull Kaminari against himself, the cold penetrating the generated heat by the jacket. "Holy shit, you're frozen..." Bakugo said, wrapping his arms around the shivering teen's form to assist in keeping him warm. Kaminari was barely present, curling up into a fetal position, clinging to Bakugo's jacket. Everything about him was warm, a blessing against the night air.

"You're going to be okay, Sparky," Bakugo grumbled, one of his hands finding a place against Kaminari's head, stroking through his hair. They'd probably be stuck for a while, but at least they could stay decently warm. "Keep talking."

"A... Ab-abo-about?" Kaminari's teeth chattered, all feeling in his hands, feet, and face being lost.

"Why the fuck do you like me? There are people like Kirishima who fit you better."

"Beca-because. Y-you're... you. You're l-loud, g-g-good-d, the. The best. Hot. Fun-funny-y, honest-t..." Bakugo hummed, the rumbling enough to keep Kaminari focused on the moment. "I'm- Surprised... You haven't. Reje-rejected me."

Bakugo shrugged, "Don't fucking feel like it. Don't shut up."

"Why...?"

"When you talk, you're less likely to pass out. Keep talking."

But Kaminari didn't say anything, his face bright red from both the cod and embarrassment. "I'm here..."

"You can ramble on and on any other time, but not now? That's a load of shit."

A small, weak chuckle pulled from Kaminari's lungs, coming out in small visible puffs as his electricity swarmed around them.

"I. I can. Try contacting..?"

"Do it."

"I can't f-feel my hands..."

Bakugo tightened his grip on Kaminari, only to let go a moment later and start unzipping the smaller blonde's jacket, much to his embarrassment. "Wh-Wha-?!" Kaminari blushed, attempting to shove him off, but the soaking wet clothing was quickly shed, set off to the side. Kaminari's shivering increased, mumbling something about actually trying to kill him until he saw Bakugo also unzipping his own jacket in the dim light.

Once more he was yanked against Bakugo's chest, this time the only thing separating his face from the skin being a black turtleneck. Warmth enveloped him, the rather large coat now being shared between the two. Kaminari felt his brain frying itself, too embarrassed to think properly. What was he supposed to do?

"Warm up; we're not dying here. I've got questions for you, shitface." Bakugo growled, but Kaminari could feel his rapid heartbeat against his face. Holy shit, this is heaven. He was in heaven. Cold heaven, but nonetheless. Tingling spread across his fingers, feeling returning as his temperature evened out. Of course, he still couldn't feel his toes, but it was better than nothing. Everything was warm, fuzzy even, between the blondes. Bakugo was calm under pressure, could make a quick judgment and be one hundred percent sure it was the right choice, and Kaminari found himself falling for him all over again. Stupid heart, this was life or death!

He carefully reached up to his transmitter, biting his lip slightly. There's not a lot of steps in calling someone with it, he'd programmed all his classmate's numbers into the device, but what they needed was a pro or someone with a quirk related to heat.

"Who do I call?" Kaminari asked, unable to look up at Bakugo due to the collar of the coat.

"Either Half-n-half or Aizawa, they're our best bet. We're snowed in, so make the most  of it." Bakugo's voice was more gentle than he could ever recall it being, which sent a wave of warmth spreading throughout his cold body.

Kaminari focused on sending power to his electronic, static filling his ears before the sound of ringing.

"Calling Mr. Aizawa..." He mumbled, hoping the cave wouldn't interfere too much. He could feel Bakugo getting colder, the jacket being meant for one person and not two.

Their teacher picked up immediately, wind whipping in the distance.

"Kaminari? Where are you two?" Aizawa said, his voice calm and even despite the storm.

"At the bottom of the cliff, off of... Uh..."

"Delta," Bakugo provided the name of the slope, Kaminari repeating for clarity.

"Alright; any wounds?"

"N-No, sir. It's just really cold..."

"Stay on the line, Kaminari. Bakugo's jacket can keep you both warm, according to its specs, so huddle up together so no one catches hypothermia."

"Already doing that, sir... We're in a cave, it's snowed in."

"We'll be there soon- Todoroki! You're with me!" Aizawa called to their fellow student, and Kaminari focused on keeping the line open and active.

"How's Bakugo?" Aizawa asked, and despite the increased heart rate, Bakugo seemed fine. Burning like a furnace, yes, but fine.

"I think he's alright. He's warm," Bakugo's grumbling was minute, a gust of wind chilling the two again before the heater activated again.

"Right... Okay, it's going to be-"

The line cut out, Kaminari groaning. Why now?

"Call ended..." Kaminari said, Bakugo doing his best to keep them both warm. Kaminari was still wet, his shirt and pants having soaked through in the initial fall even with the layers, which wasn't conducive to having to spend time in the frozen night air. Kaminari could feel sleep calling him, but the cold kept him awake forcefully.

"Don't you dare fall asleep on me," Bakugo whispered, his voice shaking with the new chill. He couldn't keep them both warm, and the snow was piling up in the darkness. Nothing could be seen, only felt in this cramped space. If he blew open the snow barrier, then Aizawa could find them easier, but it would expose them to the brunt of the wind's force and bitterness. He couldn't risk it. A mumble came from the smaller teen, shaking and shivering again, and before he knew it Bakugo found himself curling around Kaminari, attempting to wrap him in as much warmth as he could. He could stay warm on his own, his temperature naturally ran a little high, but Kaminari couldn't. Not only was he smaller, but he was less accustomed to the cold.

The only thing they could hope was that they'd be found before it became too late.

Getting to the bottom of the cliff wasn't the issue, really. The issue with finding them was Kaminari's signal had been cut off, and his idiotic friend group had followed Todoroki once called by their teacher.

Why he allowed them to go, he didn't understand, nor did he attempt to. His class worked how it wanted to work, no more and no less.

"Be careful going down. Kirishima, you can't jump off the cliff to save time." Aizawa sighed, the path they had to make it down a slightly difficult one, but one he knew they could handle since they'd traded in Skis and Snowboards for snowshoes. He'd already sent out a mass text to the class, telling them to head back to the lodge and wait for further instructions. Their lord and savior, All Might, only knew if they'd actually obeyed.

"Yessir!" Kirishima said, tape hanging off of his arms from Sero's forcefully holding him back.

"Alright, we're going down carefully. Todoroki, you take the lead, and I'll go down last. Single file, children."

Honestly, Aizawa had planned on a calm, relaxing trip. But there was an old adage he'd heard, which seemed to follow his life perfectly. 'Tell God your plans, and hear Him laugh.' Why? His class was filled with problem children, of course.

He watched as Todoroki lit their way down, slowly making their way through the trees and snow, which crunched beneath them louder than it had any right to be.

"How are you not cold, Todoroki?" Ashido asked, her eyes trained on the fire coming from the other teen's hand.

"Dude, his quirk is part ice!" Sero grinned, Kirishima nodding despite his worried expression. He really wanted to run in ahead, but he'd learned it would accomplish nothing to go in on his own.

"I guess I'm just used to it. Aren't you all cold?" Todoroki offered, his monotone voice smooth as ever. He certainly earned his place of the ice queen of class 1-A.

"Not really," Kirishima shrugged.

"Kinda?" Ashido glanced around, "It's spooky, so chills, but not that cold."

"I think you broke my ability to feel the cold back at the sports festival." Sero awkwardly chuckled.

"I'd say that was a nice try at humor," Todoroki said, face deadpan as ever, "But it's actually just sad."

"OHHHHHH HE'S GOT JOKES!" Ashido laughed, and even Kirishima couldn't help but chuckle. Sero, however, was not amused. He stared ahead their path as they got closer and closer to the bottom, unsure of how exactly to feel about the situation.

Aizawa wondered why he couldn't find a moment of peace in his life and had to interrupt their raucous merriment.

"When we get to the bottom, you're all going to spread out to cover more ground, understand?"

They looked up at him, and though he knew this wasn't as urgent as it should be treated due to the lack of proper authority around, he could see their urge to run ahead. The four nodded, and Aizawa sighed.

"Once you find them, Todoroki's going to melt the snow so we can get them back up to the lodge. Afterward, leave them alone and Delta will be off limits."

"B-Bakugo?" Kaminari said, shaking and scared after losing feeling in his legs.

"What?" The ashy blonde hissed, his hands trembling as he held onto the freezing teen.

"Let me g-go. Your jacket isn't meant to heat tw-two people... Hah..." If he cried, the tears would freeze along the snowflakes stuck to his eyelashes.

"No way in hell, S-Sparky."

"You'll lose-"

"Fucking hell, it... It isn't... If you..."

As the cold settled into their bodies, thinking got harder and harder. Kaminari was used to the idea of not thinking, only acting, and slipped out of the jacket and started zipping it back up to help preserve some of Bakugo's heat despite his protests.

"I'll be okay," Kaminari whispered with chapped lips, not leaving the hold Bakugo had on him. He knew he was lying, and his self-preservation be damned, but he found himself whispering, "Wh-when in love, you do... stupid things, ye-yeah?"

The only thing lighting up their dark space was the electricity coming off of him, but it was enough for him to properly do up the covering buttons on the hero's jacket. Bakugo was more important to be alright.

"Fuck you-" Bakugo chattered out, pulling Kaminari as close as he could and rubbing his gloved hands over the shivering teen's body to create friction, helping to keep them warm. Would they make it? The temperature was dropping by the second and Kaminari's vision was blurring as his quirk weakened. Dark spots, which appeared in his vision before his jacket had been stripped from him, grew steadily bigger the more time passed. Everything was fuzzy, unsure and blurry in shadows.

A warmth washed over him, from the inside out, as something was whispered amongst the cave. He didn't know what had been said, nor what was held behind it, yet it warmed every inch of his being.  

As if he were underwater, he heard Bakugo yelling something and felt the warmth of his hand leave, a bright light to his left and muffled explosions. He couldn't even shiver any more, the electricity in his body shutting down like a dead body. Kaminari felt warm arms wrap around him once more, a red light coming into their dark cave and plummeted into nothingness.

Something heavy and warm surrounded him. Soft, too. Fingers carded through his hair, brushing heatedly against his scalp.

"I can tell you're awake, idiot." A gruff voice said, but Kaminari snuggled into the blankets with a whine and wiggled slightly to ignore it. He could finally feel his feet again, let him be. "C'mon, you've gotta be hungry." The voice said again, and the hand on his head left to shake his shoulder.

"Mnnn... No. It's warm..." He said, and there was a new voice.

"You're awake! Man, we didn't know how long you'd be out!" It called, and a new weight piled on top of him, forcing the air out of his lungs.

"Oi, Kirishima, don't fucking kill him!"

Kaminari peeked open his eyes to find Kirishima sprawled out overtop of him and Bakugo sitting next to him, once more running his fingers through the black and blonde bangs of Kaminari's hair.

"Hey," Kaminari said, voice scratchy and tired. Honestly, he felt like a million bricks had crashed onto him. Kirishima got up, grinning with tears in his eyes.

"You both are not allowed to leave our sight on trips anymore! Something always happens to Bakugo and this time he dragged Kaminari too!"

"And who the fuck are you to decide this shit?!" Bakugo glared, and Kaminari winced slightly. Everything was still slightly chilly, now that he was out of the blankets.

"Your manly best friend!" Kirishima chuckled, Bakugo smirking in a near laugh before kicking him out of the recovery room.

"You doing alright?" Kaminari asked, attempting to pull himself into a sitting position but finding his arms too weak. Bakugo stopped running his fingers through Kaminari's hair to help him, and pull him once more to his chest. 'Third time's the charm,' a small voice echoed in the back of the stupefied blonde.

"I'm fine, now it's warmer."

"H... How long have we been back?"

"Well, it's two in the afternoon, dumbass, so do the math."

Kaminari blinked twice, hearing and feeling as Bakugo's pulse picked up.

"You're embarrassed," He pointed out, looking up at the other blonde with a confused smile.

"Fuck off!"

"If this is your way of rejecting me now that we're not in peril, it's a really weird way of doing it."

Bakugo's pulse skyrocketed, hands twitched and he looked away from him. "I'm not rejecting you, Sparky..."

Kaminari wasn't the smartest person in the world, but he was pretty sure being told he wasn't being rejected meant his feelings were either accepted or reciprocated. Could it be true? Possibly?

"I don't understand why someone as fucking cute- Like you or- Holy shit this is fucking hard to say. Look, Sparky." Bakugo sighed, taking a minute to keep himself from exploding as he looked anywhere but Kaminari's face, "Someone like you, and someone like me, we don't work together. You could have anyone in our damn school with a smile, and you pick me? Why? But why the fuck does seeing you with someone else makes me wanna punch the wall in? I don't get it!!" He yelled out, his temper getting the better of him.

"When you said you fucking- That you liked me," He spat out the word as if it were disgusting, "I don't even know what I fucking felt. Since the fucking licensing exam, every time I see you, the only thing I can think to do is push you against a wall! What the hell does that even mean?! Argh!" The grip on the back of Kaminari's blue sweater tightened, "Mother of fuck! And last night. Last fucking night. It just all came out! Holy fuck I actually... Don't fucking laugh, you idiot blonde, stupid lightning bug-"

"Lightning bug? Aww, it's a bit early for pet names-"

"FUCK YOU!!!" Bakugo screeched, his emotions having bubbled up and boiled over long ago.

"D-do you wanna?" Kaminari asked, face red in embarrassment. The situation was only slowly sinking in for him. Bakugo liked him back? Or, at least, if he didn't like him, had feelings of lust and jealousy. He could work with that.

"Not at the moment-!"

Kaminari squirmed, trying to escape the hold Bakugo had on him but his body was still weak from the exposure time to the snow. "Lemme go-" He mumbled, summoning a small amount of electricity to force Bakugo to let him go with a hiss. He fell back, shakily supporting himself as Bakugo stared down at him with angry and confused red eyes.

"I don't know what you're feeling, exactly..." Kaminari swallowed, nervously looking around the room, "But. I know that I like you. And last night was kinda romantic? In a Shakespearean kinda way? So, uh, even. Even if you don't wanna be with-"

"Fucking fuck, Sparky!" Bakugo interrupted, his voice a mere growl above actually speaking, "Whatever this is, it's not stopping me from becoming the number one. Got it? We can do shit, call it whatever the fuck you want, but if it comes down to advancing or you, I'm leaving you behind; so keep up."

Kaminari knew that was as close to a proper confession, and to being asked out, as Bakugo got so he surged forward with an unknown strength and kissed him.

Outside, yelling could be heard, and the remaining members of the Bakusquad sat in relative silence, pondering one single question.

"Since when is nearly dying romantic?" They whispered simultaneously, questioning how much damage the snow had done to their friends' sanity.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

if yall wanna have some fun doing some fake as hell handwriting analysis, have at it! I'm proud to continue the age old tradition of calligrapher with dogshit handwriting

well...