#the fact that that line is in reference to sleeping with ur best friends husband - asserting u did her a FAVOR

[firelise]

The fact that "ain't that something? A secondhand lonely" isn't even the hardest line in Sula is still mind boggling to me. What in the HELL miss Morrison

[simptasia]

Doctor x River?

thanks buddy!

Who is the most affectionate?

River is pretty handsy (11 can touchy too and 12 is far less touchy. however, they did spent 24 years together so... oh boy)

Big spoon/Little spoon?

holy shit i just thought about it and 11 & 12 are sooooo little spoons

as such, river is the big spoon

Most common argument?

“rivaaaah that kills people!!”

river is not as moral as the doctor likes himself to be

Favorite non-sexual activity?

wild and wacky adventures thru space & time!!

Who is most likely to carry the other?

i doubt river actually has the strength but i just pictured her carrying 12 bridal style (but really tho, the doctor, cuz we’ve already seen him carry people)

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

ah now river may be a flirty mcflirty lady but when ur partner has 13+ bodies and faces, well, i guessing features don’t matter that much to her (basically the doctor can look like anything and river is like “i can work with this”)

and we know the doctor isn’t a feature person... timelords, ya know... however. i’m thinking... hair, eyes, arse? if he had to pick (not that he’d ever say that last word). but now that i think about it: the doctor and river have a relationship wherein looks hardly matter at all. because of the whole timelord thing

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

“oh god i’m in love with the man i’m supposed to kill”

“oh no i’m not supposed to fall in love with companions :(((” (cuz it hurts so much. but a lot of their relationship is the doctor like ?????)

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

river called 10 “pretty boy”, i presume because she’s not used to him looking like that. this is a tad funny in hindsight because after 10 they cast a real young guy as the 11, whom fits that nickname a bit better with the baby-ish face. she later on referred to 11 as “benjamin” (as in she’s mrs. robinson) cuz she had just regen’d into a mature body which contrasts 11′s “face like a 12 year old”

11 referred to river as “mrs. robinson” cuz she’s sexy and mature and also he was kinda messing with his companions with the nicknames

i can’t remember any others

Who worries the most?

oh, the doctor. he’s in love with somebody whose death he’s seen and knows is coming soon. it is sad and worrisome 

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

they both remember everything about each other. knowing the doctor, he’d do something silly like order five plates of river’s fave meal. or something grand like get river the best seat at a great restaurant which he caused the existence of

oh wait that happened :3c

Who tops?

OH, oh ho ho hehoooo~

river tops more than the doctor does (no matter the regeneration) 

Who initiates kisses?

from what we’ve seen, river mostly

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

awwhh, the doctor

Who kisses the hardest?

RIVER OH BOY

Who wakes up first?

doctor as per the whole “timelords sleep less” thing

and yes i know river is part timelord but the way it happened really makes her more like a bio-augmented human being (basically human+)

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

river. tho they’re both energetic restless beings, the doctor is even more so. river wants the doctor to stay in bed a little longer for some heavy kissing, while the doctor is sitting in the corner sonic-ing some alien doo-dad. whilst naked

don’t worry, he’ll be back. give him 5 more minutes. maybe half an hour

Who says I love you first?

ohh i know for a fact there was an “i love you” or something like it in the show. it must have been river, because the doctor doesn’t directly say that (romantically)

but they’ve both made their love obvious over and over and over again

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

the doctor packs river lunches.  in an attempt at being domestic and human-y wuman-y for kicks and science and because he thinks river would like that

river finds it all very sweet and amusing, because the doctor trying to be a husband is endearing. and river never had a stereotypically normal life

“humans like cabbages, right?”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

oh we saw amy and rory find out, bit by bit

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

amy and rory they don’t seem bothered by it, like at the worst they’re confused and awkward. i mean you’ve been hanging out with guy for some years, and then there’s also a lady. you then find out this lady is ur daughter

and then they get married right in front of you

so it’s weird, at least. but they don’t disapprove (amy is far more weirded out by the fact that she’s the doctor’s mother-in-law)

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

THE DOCTOR IS A DANCEY BOY!!! (SOON TO BE GIRL)

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

the doctor’s cooking skills vary from time to time (he’s a very inconsistent character. he can be both awesome and sucky at whatever he does)

river i think cannot cook At All (she’s never in her life had to)

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

okay river is canonically full of cheesy flirty one-liners

and the doctor is like “haha am i doing this right?” kinda flirting

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

RIVER RIVER RIVAAAAAH

she takes vixen-y joy in making the doctor flustered & blushy

Who needs more assurance?

the doctor, i think (that’s one of the things companions are for, really?)

What would be their theme song?

im sorry i haven’t got a song for them

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

;_;

doctor... oh the doctor was a dad once.. with his Dad Skills. oh and river has computer children in that computer world she lives in. but if THEY had kids...

they both seem more the type to tell their kids stories together before bedtime

(tho i’m thinking the doc would sometimes telepathically make a kid go sleep. 12 has done that in canon. not sure if he’d do that with HIS kids...)

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

the doctor: shenanigans, the stuff we see on doctor who

river: archeology, crimes, shenanigans

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

oh i don’t need headcanons for them to break my heart

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it:

again, no, the canon fact that they get 24 years together before river eventually has to die, is a beautiful happy ending and makes me cry with joy

(i pretty much reacted like river did when the doctor told her)