#the fact that out laptops are twins lol fjksndfj SOULMATES!!

[lucygraysboy]

standing outside the barn, leaning against the nearby fence, billy sticks his hands into the pockets of his dress pants and contemplates for a moment. he’s returned to his hometown after being gone for five long years (no phone calls, no stopping by for holidays, not even a postcard) and a very arrogant part of him has been hoping, expecting everything to remain the same as it was on the day he packed up his bags and left. frozen in time. instead the opposite has happened — everyone’s moved on, carried on without him. he’s struck by a deep sense of alienation and even a hint of regret (like he shouldn’t have come here at all), finally realizing that there’s no way he’ll be able to simply pick up right where he left off. the places are familiar, but the faces have changed and many hold a personal grudge against him. after all, the whole town knows that joe’s been living at mrs. baird’s, his stepfather’s still drinking heavily and spending his weekly paychecks at the brothel two towns over, and people don’t like billy’s selfish attitude one bit. not many can sympathize with him, figuring he should have at least come visit once in a blue moon, and so there’s really no one at the birthday party with whom he could just spark up a fun conversation. his own brother doesn’t want to talk to him, so what does he expect from virtual strangers?

and then, suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, just as he’s about to climb into his range rover, a familiar sound draws his attention. lucy gray. he’d recognize this laugh anywhere. it sends a chill down his spine. they must have missed each other at the party. he glances toward the nearby trees, thinking he knows exactly where the sweet sound is coming from — their spot. part of him is dreading the moment he lays eyes on her, but then a different part feels a strange kind of pulling. enchanted, he moves toward the forest, the deep, blue lake hidden just past the tree line, the old cabin where they’d hide from rain and thunderstorms. his glittery dress pants and elegant shoes weren’t necessarily made for long walks through woods, but he doesn’t really care, he just wants to say hello. look at her again, talk to her, see what she’s up to these days. he’s halfway through, stepping over brambles and blackberry bushes, cursing quietly as they scratch the fabric of his pants. it ends up ripping, both his pants and the vines give way at the same time, and makes him miss new york… the white tank top that he’s wearing is great, lets his skin breathe in this sweltering heat, but also leaves his arms completely exposed to bug bites and tree branches. he hates this place. hates the judgmental people. doesn’t really hate his ungrateful little brother but… ugh. fuck them all. he’s just going to say hi to lucy gray and be on his merry way. they don’t want him here anyway.

he manages to make it through the woods, finding the dirt path that leads up to the cabin only to realize… is that a male voice that he’s hearing? it’s not billy taupe, but it sounds strangely familiar while also being so completely foreign. he must have met this man before, but — it hits him like a freight train. pale blue eyes flickering down, finding the old dock and the lonely boat, and… lucy gray with another man. jealousy pricks his heart against all rationality, deep down knowing that she’s no longer his girl, hasn’t been his in five years. besides, he’s not in love with her. why would he care if she’s replaced him, too? still, he feels an overwhelming sense of loss. it’s like going back to virginia. the sight of her so carefree, with someone else taking his place, brings a sharp, bitter sting of sadness while simultaneously filling him with rage. is he so easily replaceable? really? it’s their spot. their secret place. and this man… he’s nothing like billy taupe. he’s just like… what the fuck? there’s so many places that they could go to. why would she take him to their spot?

lucy gray really thought she was happy again these days, since she had been holding a grudge towards billy the day she left that hotel once the roads were finally clear after being stuck with him in a snowstorm– all the way until recently. when she found river, a familiar but unfamiliar face. up until he came to distract her mind and heart forever holding on to billy bonney, someone who changed, and quit listening to her. who decided he was right and easily gave up on her, essentially abandoned her again when he made no effort to understand why he makes her feel so bad. being around river especially made her grow fond of him when she realized... he did listen. he made her feel like she was being seen and heard, unlike the entirety of the issue with billy. he didn't make her feel like she was crazy, when moments stirred similar to arguments with billy but instead he turned them around with jokes and laughs and 'come on, north carolina. tell me what's wrong? i'm all ears, all nostrils, all toenails.'

it was impossible to have any room for any flared anger when he said things like that. she lost all anger, laughed and then easily fell into an explanation of why she was upset because he wanted to listen and they'd sit out on the swings in her yard until dark talking about it. admitting their flaws to each other and owning up to them. he was smart about horses, loved hearing her sing, loved the farm as much as she did...all of it made her heart on fire again while subconsciously ignoring the bad parts to him. just like the hard laughter sounding from her now as they're playing by the lake, squeaking and clawing at his big arms enveloped around her. her short legs lifted off the ground, kicking them in the air, "oh, come on, lucy bird. if you think i won't toss your lil butt right in that water, y'got another thing comin'." river playfully threatens, "i ain't DOUBTIN' you. but i still am firm on my word. i'm the better singer." she's playfully teasing, laughing like there was no tomorrow after they got in this big jokingly debate how he's a terrible singer after she started singing teardrops on my guitar by t.aylor s.wift out of boredom on their walk here from joe's birthday party and he chimed in, purposely like a dying cat.

she loved how small things like that could turn into these funny arguments. laughing because it was the first time she felt happy in years as he picked up his cowboy hat that she knocked off his head purposely, he bent down momentarily while still hanging on to her to pick it up then locked his grip on her again before placing his hat on top of her had. laughing because billy bonney was miles and miles away like he always had been, every year, so devastatingly on his little brother's birthday and all the other important days– so it wasn't like there was any reason in mind to restrain her happiness and a need to keep quiet. the first part of her life was with billy, but the next chapter was with river. she finally had came to terms with it as she grinned and proudly kept his hat on while still giggling and trying to get away. "i'm the better singer," she played, "and i'm just as much from tennessee as YOU are. i was just born in north carolina, how many times do i have to tell you that darlin'?" she brings it up because she knows he's always up for the state debate. "oh, no. you're definitely not..." and there he goes, hilariously like she predicted, "you're north carolina for a reason, north carolina. cause you're a traitor and decided to be born there." the blond teased her, always persistent in playfully aggravating her about this since the second he found out she wasn't technically born a tennessean and he knew lucy gray actually loved it every time.