#the fact that it’s meant for low income specifically tho

[transfaguette]

i was recommended to this program meant for low income mentally ill adults and the program fee is like. 1.5k a month. hello????? but good news you get to keep $200 of that a month as allowance. awesome thanks.

[wack-ashimself]

Tumblr peeps, I know we ain’t close friends, but I need HARD proof/evidence/court cases/rulings for something happening tomorrow, and I can not find it...

Summary: I live in low income, federally funded housing.

It is one step above a prison cell. I loathe it. I’d leave if I could find ANYWHERE cheaper.

Cameras everywhere, increase rent anytime you make more (cuz that’s how you’re stuck here forever), constant inspections, bugs, suicide is huge here, etc.

Anyways, we have extremely sensitive smoke detectors. Like, firefighters are here a couple times a week, sensitive. THEY WORK!

And tomorrow they, in every single apartment, are installing a tobacco/cannabis sensor in my electric outlet in my living room.

This is not me admitting to any wrong doing.

Simply saying: Cameras-fine, for ‘safety’ (even tho they admit it is mostly to stop people from having additional people live in their units. To spy on poor people to make sure they aren’t helping..other poor people. SO GOD DAMN MORAL!)

Smoke detectors-even tho they ALWAYS go off, safety. I get it.

But there is absolutely no way you can say a sensor specifically in the center of my apartment meant to notify my manager if I am doing any kind of smoking in my apartment, when I already have a smoke detector, in NO FORM is for my benefit or ANYONE’S safety. If those god damn fire alarms go off every other day, clearly what you have WORKS. Not to mention, what a HUGE waste of tax payer money. And again, this is only to punish me and all my other apartment dwellers. You can not justify it. It’s expensive, invasive, and meant only as a means to kick people to the streets.

So I am BEGGING you, find ANY law/court case (or something associated) in which placing a sensor in my apartment, when there’s already a smoke detector, is an invasion of privacy, cuz it is. And I am sick and tired of being filmed ANYWHERE I go in my apartment complex, but you mother fuckers are NOT going to spy on me in my apartment. Crazy how they try to justify this. Oh, and it’s like OUT OF THE BLUE. Like, less than 7 days ago we were told. It’s just...suspicious and shady as fuck.

Fun fact! As I was trying to find out about this, did you know if your landlord has a camera pointed at your front door, INTO your house, and you open the door, they can legally spy on you and use ANYTHING they see to try and evict you. How fucked is that!?

Thanks in advance.

-Ken

ps-my paranoid ass actually thinks it is a microphone. Why not? They spy on us EVERY which way.

[imrainai]

[OOC Message log, imrainai & trashrightsactivist]

These are really old. Like, last in-universe year old. But some people wanted to see them, so here they are.

Summer, 3422

imrainai: Could I read the sideblog? You have a lot of really interesting things to say, and I'd like to read them. If you're ok with it. ^_^'

Trashrightsactivist: I would trust a promise from you, you seem trustworthy. So I will add you if you promise me that you understand how serious it could be if someone like tidalwave got hold of information that could tell her who I am in real life - I could quite easily die - and also promise you won't mention any of that info anywhere public. Is that okay?

Imrainai: Yeah, I promise. I definitely don't want anything bad to happen to you.

Trashrightsactivist: cool, adding you in a sec

Weeks Later

imrainai: ruby? are you ok? just laying low for a bit? You're safe, right?

Trashrightsactivist: yes. i am very sad and angry about things. but safe.

Imrainai: <3 please stay safe ok

Trashrightsactivist: i'll do my best. you too

Later

Imrainai: I think the internet's gonna cut out in a bit, so just wanted to tell you again to stay safe and take care of yourself. you're a good internet friend, OK, so make sure you're still here when I get back

Imrainai: taz liked your story about the aliens btw. I had to modify it some because I don't want him telling his teachers he's getting red-positive propaganda at home, it was about criminals and poor people. but the basic moral was intact, and he seemed to agree with it.

I just... be careful, OK, the world needs all the good people it can get

Trashrightsactivist: thank you. and I'm glad he liked the story, it's about the downtrodden whatever colour their hair is so yeah

Weeks Later

imrainai sent a post caste flexibility meme!

Imrainai: tag, you're privately it

Imrainai: also the internet's back and your blog is not back, are you still there

Trashrightsactivist: I will post caste meme soon. I have a secret new blog.

Trashrightsactivist: as in - the blog is not a secret but the fact that it's me is a secret

Trashrightsactivist: what i learned from tryna fill out the meme is mostly that i would be a sucky purple :P

Imrainai: ohhh, ok

Imrainai: also same

Imrainai: but I also feel like I'd feel like that no matter what I was. probably everything looks easier than it is from the outside

Trashrightsactivist: well you're like coping and looking after a baby so you must be doing something right! But probably true

Imrainai: at least if i were YELLOW i could ADVANCE in the LIBRARY SYSTEM

Imrainai: but yeah I guess Ves is more important anyway, so I can't be, like, totally failing at life in general

Trashrightsactivist: yeah that's one of the dumb things about the caste system tbh - as a purple its super hard to get anywhere really successful unless you got this one specific skillset of 'run a business'

Imrainai: well you can only run certain kinds of businesses, is the thing. like, I can't start an editing service or watch other people's kids or something

Trashrightsactivist: which is sooo dumb

Imrainai: I do not think I could, like, successfully run a restaurant or a furniture company or make clothes

Imrainai: there are lots of options, so you'd think ONE of them would work, but so far nah

Imrainai: ............I should probably not actually be complaining about my life circumstances to you, that seems rather inconsiderate

Trashrightsactivist: hmm - idk if homeschooling is a thing in Voa. If I was the kinda oddball economics green i mighta been in another life I would suggest you might be able to set up a purple-for-purple homeschooling group and argue the income as being purple either on the basis of it being like house spousing or like consultation (in that being your caste *is* the qualifying factor for a purple-for-purple homeschool)

Trashrightsactivist: and nah, it's fine - it's actually helpful to give me different things to think about tbh

Trashrightsactivist: you could apply the same argument to a daycare specifically meant to socialise purple kids in a purple environment. But idk your employment law well enough you'd need to get a solicitor to advise on it.

Imrainai: Homeschooling is a thing, but I think if you make money at it it stops being homeschooling

Imrainai: I dunno, maybe one of the librarians can help me figure it out tho

Imrainai: they're good about stuff like that

Trashrightsactivist: yeah, I mean at minimum they can probably help you find and understand the books with the law stuff in

Imrainai: Liet's orange and I could maybe finagle something around that, but she's old enough that asking her to actually work is not really.... fair to her, so

Imrainai: and yeah

Trashrightsactivist: what is it you actually do rn if you don't mind me asking? or are you at home with the kid?

Imrainai: oh! no, I work two jobs

Imrainai: I do cleaning at a nursing home and I shelve books at the library

Imrainai: And my second cousin is living here too, she works in a warehouse and sometimes watches the baby

Trashrightsactivist: ahh, right. I was confused for a bit cause i remember a post about the 1st one and i thought you were a care worker and was like 'that's purple?'

Trashrightsactivist: is that liet? the orange person?

Imrainai: Liet's my great-great-grandmother, I am am sort of EFFECTIVELY her caretaker but she's family so I don't get paid for that

Imrainai: and I do look after the old people at the nursing home, but that is not actually my job, it is just... a thing that happens when I am in close proximity to people who need things

Trashrightsactivist: really should be crossover work

Trashrightsactivist: you know one of those jobs thats two castes

Trashrightsactivist: if orange-grandma lives with you it miight be doable to do the daycare and have it that like, she owns it officially and employs you, but again you'd need to check out the legalities

Imrainai: I mean in THEORY there is a simple dividing line between "care worker" and "cleaning lady" but with elderly people the line is not always actually clear

Trashrightsactivist: yeah thats why it should be crossover

Trashrightsactivist: are you any good with numbers and people management?

Imrainai: And yeah, maaaaybe, but if anyone ever investigated it I think it would rapidly become obvious that Liet wasn't really... doing anything

Imrainai: I've never really tried those things?

Imrainai: I don't think I'm awful with numbers

Imrainai: Though I never got past algebra in school

Trashrightsactivist: I imagine you gotta have people skills to a degree cause like - you're really nice, and dealing with the old ppl probably requires like, being nice but firm

Trashrightsactivist: wouldn't require algebra just finance - you could build up to a small cleaning business?

Imrainai: Oh, I hadn't thought about that, but I guess there's no reason that should be illegal

Imrainai: I do all the budgeting here, I can handle money OK

Trashrightsactivist: yeah well afaik that is entirely a purple thing to be doing, it's cleaning and it's business

Imrainai: That makes sense

Trashrightsactivist: and your library connections and self-starter attitude will mean you can pick up the extra knowledge you'd need

Imrainai: I don't know if I'd actually make more money than just working at the nursing home, but I can look into it

Trashrightsactivist: probly need some seed money i guess

Imrainai: ...yeah, you need some to get started I think

Trashrightsactivist: yeah it would at least have more potential to grow, is what i was thinking

Imrainai: but not THAT much for a cleaning business, you don't need an office or anything for that really

Imrainai: I bet you could do it with just a web page actually

Imrainai: not that I know how to make a decent website

Trashrightsactivist: yeah you probably wouldn't make more to start with but could eventually - if you read the books and stuff and came up with a good business model you could probably pitch it to people to get a small investment for like, a website and some supplies, maybe a vehicle

Trashrightsactivist: tell the nursing home they can hire you as a contractor through your business, but if you've got other work you have more leverage to get better pay there

Imrainai: That's an interesting idea... I dunno if they'd go for it, but at least this is something to look into. It's good to have options.

Imrainai: Thanks :)

Trashrightsactivist: I mean. In a sane world you could learn more about the library while you stack shelves and work your way up to librarian but we don't live in a sane world

Trashrightsactivist: np :) I better get back to work but good luck if you decide to try it

Trashrightsactivist: oh secret new me is truth-from-ashes btw. Trusting you to keep that sceret.

Trashrightsactivist: ttyl

Weeks Later

Imrainai: Wanted to thank you for the idea to start a business. Liet's going to be starting up after-school tutoring really soon, and apparently it's absolutely legal for me to volunteer at her business and for her to then put that money towards food and rent. I'll get to make money while spending time with my family and helping Taz and his classmates with their homework. :D

Days Later

Imrainai: ruby did you hear about the thing

Imrainai: the orvara thing

Imrainai: you're not in orvara are you

Days later

Imrainai: please don't be in orvara

Later

Trashrightsactivist: I'm not there. I'm sorry if my absence from the online was worrying- reds everywhere are panicky right now and that's been my focus.

Imrainai: no no it's ok! just wanted to make sure you weren't. uh. actually dead

Imrainai: be safe

Imrainai: or as safe as possible I guess

Trashrightsactivist: You too. I don't know what's going to happen now but it's not going to be good and it's not going to just be us that suffers for it in the end.

Fall, 3422

Imrainai: ruby are you still alive and kicking and there and stuff

Several weeks later

Imrainai: rubyyyyyyy

[wack-ashimself]

So I just had one of the worst days of my life in years (and it's not over):

Let me be straight with you: I'm a poor dude in his 30s who drinks way too much, and can get mean. Not CRUEL, but brutally honest. I am like that naturally, but when drunk, and provoked, I can make people cry. People have had some fantastic nights with me; people have had some disasters with me. It depends on the people almost entirely. I have better nights with strangers than friends & family countless times.

I say all this cuz I do not want to look like I am mr perfect, nice guy, pity me. I have issues, but I <almost> never let them be taken out on anyone. Even when I am brutally honest, when I say what I say, and someone calls me out sober I go 'yeah, I still fucking believe that, I just wouldn't have said it so harshly.' They act like I will change what I said; nope. Have done so less than a dozen times in my life. CUZ I MEAN WHAT I SAY, SOBER OR DRUNK. And people do not like that. Never have. I have found people LOVE blaming the alcohol. 'You didn't mean that, you were drunk.' No, I did. And they will BLOW ME OFF SOBER! One of the reasons I say what I say drunk many times. But I am consistent; I can say that. The running joke is 'don't ask my opinion, or you'll get it.'

Anyways, that in mind (which may explain the following) here we go:

My mom was sad me and my sister did not show up for mother's day. I had work earlier in the day, I was gonna see her 2 days later (make her a nice meal), sis was across state, and mom said it was fine. It was NOT fine. She was wrong/exaggerated (she does that). She, with her I believe failing memory, mentioned it like 3-4 times (almost every time we talked) about how much it hurt her. So I texted my sis 'next year, we should go big for mother's day. She was sad we weren't there. '

Somehow, my sister got 'you suck as a daughter and hurt mom on mother's day' cuz she went from talking about mom, to me moving, to me getting a better job, to me being unproductive, to me being basically a loser (she does this with almost every conversation-she judges and tries to change me, and this is WELL before alcohol. She was ashamed to be my sister most of my life to be honest. I was loud, direct, and took no bs.), to finally my sister saying the meanest thing she said since we were kids. I called her a fucking idiot. I call anyone who ignores key data or what I said a fucking idiot. Cuz they're fucking idiots. But I never get specifically mean...(unless drunk or/and pissed off). She basically said along the lines of 'you're such a loser, that is why mom and dad made me executive of their estate when they die.'

If there's ever ONE THING you want to do to infuriate me and hurt me more than anything-it's lie. Even a small one. I would rather almost want to kill myself from the truth than deal with an iota of a lie. Cuz the lie will make me want to die. Trust is everything to me.

So this went

a-my sister saying the meanest true thing she could think of that I had NO IDEA about.

b-finding out my parents changed this behind my back.

c-seeing my parents trust my sister more than me (tho she is fucking SPOILED-I know her. She will be 'fair'-split everything equally, but her first dibs on anything good. And will make hard decisions without EVER asking us. She's like my dad-hard working, but capitalistic/control freak/statist as FUCK)

d-this is an assumption, but a safe one-I wasn't going to find out about this till MY PARENTS WERE FUCKING DEAD.

So this is like a lie x3.

I'm devastated. I don't care about my parents money and shit; I tell them all the time- SPEND IT ALL! You earned it. It's yours!

Seriously-if that meant they died, I had car issues, and I'm fucked-so be it. That's life.

Just the fact that my sister, when she's already riding my ass, goes SO deep to hurt me in a way I couldn't have even expected was one helluva low blow. <I was sober during all this, so alcohol wasn't to blame. I was real level headed>

Worst part? I kinda would have easily got over they did not want me to be their estate person. Serious. a-HOLY FUCK work. b-stress. c-I ain't the best with money. d-whoever is in charge has to deal with my brother, who is difficult at many times. And would be a nightmare with my parents dead.

But the fact they did it behind my back, showed NO signs of ever telling me, and my sister has to use it as the meanest thing she could say to me to 'make a point?'

Hurt me in a way I did not know I still could be hurt, ya know?

Ugh. Funny part is after thinking about it, I confronted her on 'did you just get pissy cuz you thought I was attacking you over mothers day? cuz that wasn't the case.' And she became all nice again. So she was on the defense over NOTHING.

Go to work. Find out our new 'bonuses' from work are stacked shit. First off, the government on bonuses can take up to 40% in taxes. WHAT!? Secondly, it's a group effect, and if one person doesn't make it, even $1 short, NO ONE makes it. They do this with our managers-all have different areas, but if the one who is in charge of the rewards program doesn't get enough sign ups (even if the customers are part of the program) No bonuses to ALL managers. Crock of greedy shit, big lots.

Get thru work. Come home. Ambulances. Police. Live in low income housing, so used to that, but not usually this number.

Turns out a kid, 32, younger than me, SAME NAME basically killed himself. I don't know all the details, but it was a known fact he was, like MANY people here, drinking himself to death. <one guy covered the walls in so much shit, hazmat was called after he died drinking>

Just find it odd timing on my bad day, when I'm about to drink, guy with my name, my building, younger, dies, more than likely from drinking...

He was a nice guy. I mean, I heard he said mean things drunk sometimes too, but every convo with that kid I had was smiling, laughing, trying to converse....I saw so much potential in him...

I just...WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN, ya know?

I asked the girl at the liquor store 'you believe in nihilism?' She said she didn't know what that was. I said kinda like it could all mean something or nothing entirely. She looked uncomfortable and goes 'NO!' And I was thinking 'I was asking if you ever thought about life this way, not if you define your life that way.' So it seems I'm just good at being misread, and pissing people off...sober ;)

thanks for reading. hope you got a 'fuck, that's crazy' from this. I don't need likes, shares..just...putting this out there in case somebody can relate, and not feel so alone like I do right now.

<also fighting with my 'best'/only friend, who also small lies ALL THE TIMES, and ditched constantly. And when I call him out, he gaslights me, and says I have all these issues. COOL. Why did you NEVER bring them up till I brought up my issues with you, asshole?>

Genuinely, this WHOLE past year has taught me I go stir crazy being alone, but FUCK do I hate being around most people for long periods of time. If you are not living life by you, don't be by me. There's more fakes and copy and paste people in this world than originals...either say something I never heard heard/thought, or you are a waste of time.