#the fact that he also sees vincent as being surrounded by sparkles and hearts in his head means nothing

[roguekaiju]

Post-Conclave Cardinal Lawrence watching edits of Pope Innocent XIV online

[fnaficsfordays]

Though the Sun is Warm...

Chapter 2

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Word Count: 1446

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With a yawn, he pushed open the car door, stumbling as he reached the sidewalk. The nighttime sky, at least, didn’t wreak havoc on his bleary eyes, but it was still an internal battle to fight back the sleepy state of his mind.

Michael had not, in fact, gotten a restful sleep. Perhaps not nearly as bad as some days in the past, but it was far from satisfactory to his physical being. At least the night would wake him up a bit, surely.

He pushed open the door, walking through the hall. He could hear voices talking in the office, light-hearted chatter that made his own head lift up slightly as he grew nearer.

“-half a dozen clasps to keep it down, even at home, I just prefer it.”

“It looks so uncomfortable though. Don’t you sometimes lose your balance?”

“Used to, but I’ve been wearing it regularly for years. It also helps with my awareness of my surroundings- something that’s important around here.”

“What about your sight? I mean, I know you see through it, but…”

“Right here. I’ve grown used to the darkness too, but it’s really not a bother. It’s a physical personal bubble, and I’m not complaining at all.”

“At least the animatronics would have a hard time stuffing you into a suit, huh?” Michael walked through the doorway, glancing at the two of them with a slight smirk.

“See, they would…” Scott started. “But weighing 300 pounds and having plenty of metal teeth… I doubt it would deter them for long. It would probably just be more painful.”

“That image…” Jeremy shuddered. “I wouldn’t ever want to walk in on that.”

“Hopefully you won’t have to.” Scott put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve been here for a long time, I don’t plan on leaving the hard way.”

“Bold of you to assume there’s an easy way.” Michael sat down in the swivel chair, picking up the monitor. “We’re kind of stuck here for the rest of our lives.”

“Well, that’s a bit dark.” Scott scratched his mask. “You never know, you know?”

“You didn’t get more sleep, did you?” Jeremy gave a small, nervous chuckle.

He shook his head, putting a hand to his forehead for a moment. “No… don’t think I did, actually.” He turned around. “Do I have circles under my eyes? Is it that bad?”

“Well… yes?”

“Duly noted.” Michael sighed. “Well, hopefully the shift will wake me up a bit. Even if I’m going to spend it in this swivel chair.”

And, ignoring the fact, that, you know, you’re surrounded by four haunted robots that will kill you any chance they get? Alright, let’s do this.

He smiled slightly at the thought, shaking his head slightly. The dullen state of his mind did die back a bit, though, as the shift started up. He was at least awake enough to hear Scott and Jeremy talking behind him, a bit quiet yet loud enough to be intelligible.

“Do you ever take it off, though?”

“No, why would I? I was never one for outside areas anyways… I don’t even need to take it off when driving. I’ve grown quite used to it.”

“But still, no one ever really sees your actual face. It doesn’t really… bother you?”

“Not really. Haven’t we all removed ourselves from the rest of society, one way or another?”

“You’re not wrong there.” Michael chuckled. “But Jeremy’s got a point. The last time we ever saw your face was all the way back at…”

He trailed off slightly, the memories suddenly flooding his head. The rising sun, the dark iron gates, the sycamore tree, the bouquet of violet roses, the white stone…

“...I don’t even remember.” He swallowed slightly, praying they didn’t hear the sudden strain in his voice.

“Surely it hasn’t actually been that long…”

“It probably has- you haven’t taken it off in months!”

“Well, there was no reason to- at least, I never really… saw one…”

“Couldn’t you just show us right now?”

“...”

“Please?”

“Well, alright, I guess…”

He turned around, trying to take his mind away from the memories. Scott was slowly undoing small, hooked clasps around the edges of his mask, hands moving carefully with each small click.

“I don’t… take it off a lot, so it might take… a little while-”

“No, it won’t.” Jeremy giggled, reaching his own hands towards some of the still-closed locks. “Here, I’ll help.”

Michael gave a small smile as he watched, Scott mumbling unintelligible words from underneath the plastic. With Jeremy’s small fingers delicately and nimbly moving around the edge, it wasn’t long until the large, red rotary phone was being lifted off.

“There you go!” Jeremy held the mask in his hands, grinning as his own sparkling gaze met Scott’s.

“Yeah… there I do.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck, blue eyes blinking rapidly. “It’s quite bright after being in there so much…”

“But I still don’t get why you would want to keep it on all day.”

“I’m just not accustomed to looking at my own face a lot.” He glanced away, running a hand through his spiky blonde tufts of hair. “I’m not… particularly uncomfortable with it, but however… it’s much more comfortable underneath the mask.”

“Really?” Jeremy giggled. “But you look really nice!”

“A-actually?” Scott looked back at him with his blue eyes, face flushing slightly. “I-I mean…”

“Yeah, you do!” He set down the mask, eyes sparkling with a slight warmth, a fond smile on his face. “I think you do, at least.”

Michael watched on, glancing between them, eyebrows beginning to raise slightly. The shared gaze between them… it was quite amusing to see Scott acting so timid for once, while Jeremy was still grinning ear to ear. He shook his head slightly, smirk starting to curl up on his lips. As unexpected of an energy to see between them, it kind of reminded him of himself and-

He blinked, smile fading. Himself… and…

“Calling me a coward?” “You said it, not me.” “Oh, that is such a dare.” “Is it?” “You tell me.” “Do whatever you will. I’m just saying, you said you would push it down-” “A dare it is!”

He took in a deep breath, slowly turning around his chair, picking up the monitor again. The memories. The memories were coming back again, he couldn’t keep focusing on them. He said he wouldn’t forget, he didn’t, but…

Michael bit his lip in an effort to distract himself, staring through the cameras. He could still hear them behind him, the chatter sinking into his ears.

“-wouldn’t really try to stop you, I mean, if it really is uncomfortable to not have it on…”

“Well… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have it off a bit more… perhaps just in here, sometimes…”

“Really?”

“If- If you think I should…”

“That’s if you’re comfortable.”

“I think I will be, just perhaps, if it’s… if it’s you.”

“What?”

“N-nothing, nothing.”

He took in silent, shallow breaths, trying to stop the pricks of grief starting to wrap around his heart. It was so sweet, they seemed so close, and they… they…

They could have been himself and Vincent if only…

Michael swallowed, trying to will away the regretful thoughts. It was over. It was just wistful thinking, he couldn’t do anything about it. It was seven months ago, for god's sake- it was just a dream of the past that he couldn’t be dwelling on. There was no point now- no point in reminiscing. It was too late to fall in love now. Too late to truly say he loved him.

And too late to hear him ever say it back…

No. No more thinking about that- Michael had a job at the moment. Focus- he had to focus, their shift was only an hour away from being over. Dawn would be rising soon- nearly there.

And yet when he was finally stepping out and into the breaking sunshine, even the morning light couldn’t pry away the pricks of sadness clenching his heart. No matter how much he tried to get his mind off the matter, he could feel it. His gleaming silver eyes, the bright, maniacal grin, the unbothered, amused, easygoing yet mad voice… Something swelled up in him at the memories, longing to think about them, to think about him…

He sighed. Michael needed more sleep once he got home… his state of mind seemed to be deteriorating with every passing day.

Keep his head up, keep himself looking forward… seven months. It was all seven months ago, and it wasn’t coming back.

But why did that thought make his heart grow so heavy?